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Sandwiches might have nothing to do with treating kids as individuals, but in our house it does. Learn how just some small questions of our kids helped us find out how to treat them as an individual in our blended family.
Show Notes
Treat each kid uniquely
- Lunches. Darren made everyone the same thing. Paige asked the kids what they liked.
- You need to find out what they like and don't like.
- Sometimes a mall food court is the best option to take the family out.
- Give kids the opportunity to choose dinner.
- Discipline is different for each kid.
- The rules are the same but our reaction and discipline are different for each kid.
- The goal is to help the individual kid and keep some peace and tranquility in the house.
Go One-on-One
- Sam gets a lot of one on one time.
- The other kids not as much. We want all of the kids together.
- We have had opportunities to be one one one. (Field Trips, trip to the grocery store, etc..)
- Date night with their kids
- Individual spontaneous time is just as good as a fully planned out activity.
- 12-year-old trip with Dad.
- Individual trip when kids are adults - We try and make the opportunity when we can.
- Cook dinner with one of the kids on Thursday nights.
- Watch a show together.
- How do you teach to share when you want your kids to be individuals in a blended family.
Be a Team
- Make sure that each member knows that they are part of a team.
- Individualism is important but not at the cost of the family.
- Kids can be so unique or individualized that they do not see themselves as part of the family.
- Examples on being a team
- Cleaning the kitchen, the back yard, clean out the car.
- Everyone has a unique role that they play. Make sure they feel like they are part of a team and not just an individual.
- Sometimes it is too bad that the kids don't like doing something. They are part of the family.
- The kids might be resentful at first but in the end, they are grateful.
Don't Play Favorites
- We joke about this a lot.
- Every day, our favorite changes depending on what they are bringing to the family.
- Family gifts or souvenirs from travels. The kids notice who is getting what.
- Equity and uniqueness are key.
- Make sure you don't just peanut butter everyone with the same thing.
- Most meaningful is individualized.
- Christmas ornaments. (Grandma's give the same, parents try to be unique)
- Funny moment of the Week
Madeline trying to mimic one of the acts on America's got Talent (Courtney Hadwin). Nothing like your 14-year-old daughter trying to sing a classic rock song she has never heard.
Links
- http://refreshedmag.com/4-ways-to-make-every-kid-in-a-large-family-feel-special/
- https://www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/advice/6-small-ways-to-make-each-of-your-kids-feel-special/
What is Where's the Lemonade??
They say when life gives you lemons you should make lemonade. Making lemonade is not always easy or possible. For us, we found ourselves single in our 40's with kids at home and starting life over again. Luckily we found each other, online no doubt. When we began blending families, schedules, traditions, and laundry, we discovered lots of lemons. Our podcast is a reflection on how we get through the hard times and enjoy the good times on our new journey together, all with ten kids in tow. Sometimes when life gives you lemons, you make lemon squares. Lemonade might come later.