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Speaker 1: Welcome back the beardless, sickless me. I am the bearded one.

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Speaker 2: I am ridiculous one.

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Speaker 1: That sound you hear not masturbation.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, we're bad.

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Speaker 1: The clarification, Yeah, well, because some people, you know, just

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Speaker 1: listen to the audio. They don't watch it. Like if

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Speaker 1: you're that Kevin Smith club, remember I givespith club dot com,

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Speaker 1: you can watch the show. But if you're just listening

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Speaker 1: you heard that, you might be like, this is holy inappropriate.

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Speaker 1: That's so true. One of them is fapping in front

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Speaker 1: of the other, and either way it's fucking crazy. Try

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Speaker 1: That's why I have to tell him that it was Walky.

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Speaker 1: I'm glad the dog was fapping and we were letting

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Speaker 1: her because she ain't gonna fucking loving her life. Let

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Speaker 1: me tell you something. Every time I bring WALKI to

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Speaker 1: the park, that milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,

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Speaker 1: big and small. They are not interested in Birdie, which

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Speaker 1: is like, you know how the stereotype of fucking men like,

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Speaker 1: oh they like young women and ship. There's fucking Birdie,

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Speaker 1: just new bile, prime, fucking of her life. Look at her,

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Speaker 1: you know, fucking like untouched and they have and she's unfixed.

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Speaker 1: Probably say unfixed as well, but none of it are interested.

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Speaker 2: To be clear, you should.

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Speaker 1: Be, but maybe maybe like they they just don't say

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Speaker 1: Walkie is fixed. And yet they'll all fucking their noses

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Speaker 1: are straight up brass. And then they go for the

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Speaker 1: jump and she's like, hey, Walkie is what dogs want?

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Speaker 2: What he's got that thing thing about her?

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Speaker 1: If you were a boy dog, you'd be like, I

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Speaker 1: want to FUCKI.

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Speaker 2: Walk exactly exactly what I think about WUCKI She though.

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Speaker 1: You could tell. Walkie's like, oh no, walk he's not interested.

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Speaker 1: She's like, I've been there. Men suck.

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Speaker 2: She's been there, She's done that, and she doesn't want

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Speaker 2: it anymore.

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Speaker 1: She's like, there's only one man in this world that

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Speaker 1: don't suck. And I'm sitting right here with me. He

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Speaker 1: brought me to the park. Wow, I'll be going home

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Speaker 1: with him as well.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 1: She adores me. Bertie though, on the other hand, also

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Speaker 1: adores me. But Bertie scared of every fucking dog at

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Speaker 1: the park. Boy dogs come over there, and she's like

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Speaker 1: she I literally watched her throw herself on her back,

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Speaker 1: feet up in the air, and it's like, bro, that's

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Speaker 1: how you get run, Like cover, ass and run and

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Speaker 1: ship or do what Wucky does, which is just like.

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Speaker 2: I like Wucky style.

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Speaker 1: I think it's it's it really is like I'm showing

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Speaker 1: my human you know, fucking bias here. But like blows

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Speaker 1: my mind that that's what dogs want, he asked German

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Speaker 1: brow They want a house frow and I get it.

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Speaker 1: We're not looking for frowline, fucking you know, fancy pants

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Speaker 1: of it. And they want a woman built like a

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Speaker 1: brick ship house. A bear they do. And every size big.

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Speaker 3: Dog a little dog.

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Speaker 1: I saw a little dog trying to hop up to

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Speaker 1: make it like trying.

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Speaker 2: To get my god, Oh my god.

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Speaker 1: He was like, here's him and here's her thing way

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Speaker 1: up here. He kept trying to jump up. It was

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Speaker 1: never going to connect. I'm never going to cow jump

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Speaker 1: over that moon.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god. Okay, are we done now with this

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Speaker 2: section of the show.

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Speaker 1: I just find it. I don't. I have no skin

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Speaker 1: in the game, but I'll be honest with you. I'm

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Speaker 1: kind of proud when the boy dogs are like hello,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, that's right, yeah, look at her, Yeah, recognizing

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Speaker 1: this is my dog, as if I had anything to

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Speaker 1: do with some respect on Loki's name according to the

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Speaker 1: new formula. Yes, this would be your show.

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Speaker 2: It's my turn.

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Speaker 1: You're in charge.

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Speaker 2: It's my turn now.

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Speaker 1: So I'm just going to crack open a frosty old beverage.

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Speaker 2: Fresh can of Celsius at eight pm.

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Speaker 1: We'll keep you up for hours and let you drive,

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Speaker 1: ladies and gentlemen, my only begotten child. Wow, the girl me.

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Speaker 2: I thought, uh, I thought I'd bring back the hypothetical,

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Speaker 2: the hypothetical nation, bring back bitch.

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Speaker 1: It never left.

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Speaker 2: I asked gone every week.

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Speaker 1: I know you're out of your mind.

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Speaker 2: I wish it away every week.

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Speaker 1: But this time you get to do it.

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Speaker 2: Yes, all right, I just remember.

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Speaker 1: Once you open the door to the hypothetical.

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Speaker 2: No no, this is for you.

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Speaker 1: I may be able to turn the table.

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Speaker 2: No no, no, no, no no, this.

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Speaker 1: Is my episode. There's a game when I was a kid.

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Speaker 1: And now that I think about it, since I'm rebuying

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Speaker 1: everything on eBay, I'm blowing Harley's inheritance on Buwwinkle toys.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, thinks a lot.

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Speaker 1: Tough ship makes me happy, make me happier than Bowinkle,

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Speaker 1: and I'll give you the money very but you're less.

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Speaker 1: You're You're not as expensive as old but winkles, you're

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Speaker 1: pretty cheap to buy. What the fuck a few bucks

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Speaker 1: at a Dickland shirt. You're like, oh my god, so

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Speaker 1: rude man, Where was I going with my originals? Oh?

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Speaker 2: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: There was a game, and this is relevant to your

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Speaker 1: interest because you're a Disney kid. There was a game,

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Speaker 1: a Haunted Mansion game that had in the floor turntables.

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Speaker 1: So when you roll the dice or spin the spinner

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Speaker 1: or whatever, you move onto it onto the board, you

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Speaker 1: would turn a handle and so your peace would move

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Speaker 1: to it. Completely different. Oh and I remember the commercial

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Speaker 1: was like, you know, can you escape the spinning spooks

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Speaker 1: or something like that. But in any event, in a

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Speaker 1: world where I keep buying like all that my childhood ship,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna go put that in.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, go look for that. Do something useful?

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Speaker 1: Will you take over the show? Why don't you anyways

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Speaker 1: like to be encouraging, so you like to lead with

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Speaker 1: stick more than carrot?

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Speaker 2: Okay?

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Speaker 1: Hypothetical hypothetical What if you had a daughter that loved

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Speaker 1: to expected you? There's the hypothetical every day all right, hypothetical?

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Speaker 2: Go I remember remember the elves?

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Speaker 1: Yes to recap for those I may not remember the

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Speaker 1: elves are like, I don't go far that far back.

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Speaker 1: The elves wanted me to kill Austin.

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Speaker 2: You were the elf king.

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Speaker 1: I was the elf king. They just got Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: wound up. I was lost. Harley thought like, I ran away.

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Speaker 2: You honestly died.

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Speaker 1: Died, But really the elves took me and I became

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Speaker 1: the elf king. Yes, how do we get to the

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Speaker 1: broken pottery? That was my favorite part because it wasn't Austin.

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Speaker 2: There was something about that there. You came back into

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Speaker 2: my life and I was like, where the fuck have

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Speaker 2: you been for six years? I had I had to

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Speaker 2: be with the elves. And then at some point the

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Speaker 2: elves tried to kill and I think successfully killed Austin.

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Speaker 1: Well they were like take that broken.

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Speaker 2: Right, of course, these elves, these are the elves.

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Speaker 1: Price to pay for being their king.

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Speaker 2: Yes, so these.

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Speaker 1: Elves in questions, Yeah, for those who are like, I

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Speaker 1: don't get the good elves, No, no, no, they're pretty cruel.

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Speaker 2: Well here's another price to pay.

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Speaker 1: What am I What price am I paying?

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Speaker 2: Well just wait a second.

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Speaker 1: But I mean no, not what why am I paying

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Speaker 1: a price?

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Speaker 2: Well, but I'm about to tell you.

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Speaker 1: So I'm at first you got to tell me why

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Speaker 1: I'm in trouble, and then tell me what the price

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Speaker 1: I'm paying is. Yes, that sounds like that was your

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Speaker 1: original plan. Sounds like you're switching horses mid Street.

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Speaker 2: But allow, no, I've got I've got a story written

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Speaker 2: out here.

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Speaker 1: Seriously, yep, I'm ready to hear it.

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Speaker 2: Are you ready?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? You secured the Gentleman Story by Harley Quinn Smith

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Speaker 1: written on her phone. She's staring at him that Kevin

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Speaker 1: Smith dot Kevinsmith club dot com. You see her reading

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Speaker 1: from her phone because she wrote it down. I'm impressed anyway, over.

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Speaker 2: You all right, readymady, you've secured your spot as the

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Speaker 2: elf king. So you you you've left hero, Yes, you

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Speaker 2: you are the king of the elves at this point.

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Speaker 2: Hundred of elves are depending on you because the elves

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Speaker 2: of this colony are sick. They're not well. A disease

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Speaker 2: has gone around, and yes, a plague if you will,

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Speaker 2: on my watch, on your wing exactly, and you are

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Speaker 2: the king. So that's what that's where, that's where the

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Speaker 2: problem was.

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Speaker 1: That stops here. I'm not a blamer.

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Speaker 2: If you don't help them, they will all unfortunately pass.

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Speaker 1: That's what I got sucked dick or something.

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Speaker 2: No, the elves are depending on you, though you are

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Speaker 2: the chosen one with the only antidote and the inexistence

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Speaker 2: to save the elves. The antidote you ask, every elf

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Speaker 2: must come and bite you once a day for a year,

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Speaker 2: drawing blood and leaving a scar every time. Your body

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Speaker 2: is completely raw by the end of it and covered

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Speaker 2: in elf bite scars. The elves are depending on.

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Speaker 1: Nobody said that, did you said? The elves come and

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Speaker 1: they bite me.

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Speaker 2: The elves present themselves.

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Speaker 1: And hypothetical there is usually thrown across the table.

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Speaker 2: There is none of that in mind.

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Speaker 1: Fair enough, so I'm being bit.

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Speaker 2: You are being bitten once a day by every elf

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Speaker 2: in the colony. There are thousands. They're small, but they

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Speaker 2: are mighty, and there are thousands. And every time they

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Speaker 2: draw blood because your blood is the antidote to their disease.

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Speaker 1: Like mosquitos, yes, which I've been bit by many.

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Speaker 2: Times, but much worse. It hurts.

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Speaker 1: Mosquitoes tickle, though it's.

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Speaker 2: More than a tickle. They draw blood.

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Speaker 1: It was all I said. They don't tickle, Okay, so

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Speaker 1: it's more than a tickle. That's even more pleasurable.

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Speaker 2: All right, they draw your Does it feel like.

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Speaker 1: Does it feel like somebody giving me a needle?

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Speaker 2: It feels like as if there was a little like

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Speaker 2: claw trap that grabs onto your skin, you know, like

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Speaker 2: a little metal little a little metal claw, little guy,

201
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Speaker 2: a little trap, A little trap a mouse not a

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Speaker 2: mouse trap like this trap.

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Speaker 1: As if everybody knows that Jaws is in the.

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Speaker 2: Snow jaw Jaws trap.

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Speaker 1: So he's a little shark.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, sure, they're little sharks.

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Speaker 1: And I feel it.

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Speaker 2: Oh you feel you pinch my hand?

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Speaker 1: Show me what it feels like. Can you handle it? No?

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Speaker 1: But worse because I said.

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Speaker 2: I'm not going to make you bleed right now, you

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Speaker 2: make me.

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Speaker 1: Bleed later after the show and the camera are not

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Speaker 1: that's when.

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Speaker 2: That's That's what I'm waiting for. Is the after show?

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Speaker 1: Well, plasticles plus kids that Kevin Smith club dot com

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Speaker 1: and see. The shows are all about elder abuse as

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Speaker 1: a young normal to get to her, it's a lot quicker.

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Speaker 4: It's about child abuse, and the after show is about

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Speaker 4: elder abuse. Pick your choices, all right, So the als

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Speaker 4: it feels like a shark bite.

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Speaker 1: Yeah what wait? Not a big shark, a little shark,

223
00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:40,160
Speaker 1: A little rubber shark.

224
00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:43,839
Speaker 2: No, not rubber, just a small shark, like a baby shark,

225
00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:45,480
Speaker 2: but has teeth.

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00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:55,440
Speaker 1: Oh baby baby, yeah, my heart, heart, heart heart, all right,

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00:12:55,559 --> 00:12:57,600
Speaker 1: so a living baby shark.

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00:12:57,880 --> 00:12:58,120
Speaker 2: Yeah.

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00:12:58,840 --> 00:12:59,760
Speaker 1: Did they pull flash?

230
00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:03,640
Speaker 2: Try to me, they pull blood. They draw blood, so

231
00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:05,400
Speaker 2: more like.

232
00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:09,240
Speaker 1: Like like a parasite. Yeah, they leave any germs in

233
00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:10,920
Speaker 1: me or anything like that. Oh yeah clean?

234
00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:12,360
Speaker 2: Oh no, no, they're not clean.

235
00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:14,360
Speaker 1: They say it like, oh yeah, they're.

236
00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:18,559
Speaker 2: Not clean because they elves are. They're drawing blood by mouth.

237
00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:21,040
Speaker 1: Right. Can I be like, you need a dental dam.

238
00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:24,680
Speaker 2: No, that doesn't cure their disease.

239
00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:27,800
Speaker 1: Stop the spread of many diseases.

240
00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:30,600
Speaker 2: In the eighties, I know, not this one, not this one.

241
00:13:30,640 --> 00:13:32,600
Speaker 1: I'm just saying it's time for the dental dam to

242
00:13:32,640 --> 00:13:37,200
Speaker 1: come back. Come back, not in these elves faces, not

243
00:13:37,240 --> 00:13:40,679
Speaker 1: for the elves. All right. So I'm getting a little infection.

244
00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:43,320
Speaker 2: Every time, or yeah you are, and your body is

245
00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:49,679
Speaker 2: completely raw with bites. Basically, it just hurts to exist everywhere.

246
00:13:49,760 --> 00:13:51,800
Speaker 1: I don't mean it hurts to exist as if it

247
00:13:51,880 --> 00:13:54,320
Speaker 1: does existential I know.

248
00:13:54,520 --> 00:14:00,880
Speaker 2: Fuck now, it physically hurts to exist is in my mind.

249
00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:01,800
Speaker 1: But now.

250
00:14:04,040 --> 00:14:05,680
Speaker 2: Now it's all a little.

251
00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:09,679
Speaker 1: Bit I've asked how you take that broken out? I

252
00:14:09,880 --> 00:14:13,319
Speaker 1: got you fuckers with the broken pottery and the jugglar kids. Right,

253
00:14:13,360 --> 00:14:14,000
Speaker 1: you are dirty.

254
00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:16,559
Speaker 2: They're so violent. The elves are so violent, all right.

255
00:14:17,360 --> 00:14:19,800
Speaker 2: So the elves are depending on you to keep their

256
00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:24,240
Speaker 2: species from going extinct. Elves on Earth will completely vanish

257
00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:27,480
Speaker 2: from existence without your help. Okay, do you help them?

258
00:14:27,640 --> 00:14:29,320
Speaker 1: What do they do? What do they bring to the table?

259
00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:30,280
Speaker 1: They just exist?

260
00:14:30,520 --> 00:14:31,640
Speaker 2: They just they exist.

261
00:14:31,680 --> 00:14:34,600
Speaker 1: They're not magical or no, they are. So what am

262
00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:35,360
Speaker 1: I getting out of this?

263
00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:37,200
Speaker 2: I hate to be quel, you're their king about it,

264
00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:38,400
Speaker 2: but you're their king.

265
00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:42,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you know they've kidnapped me in the first place. Yeah,

266
00:14:42,560 --> 00:14:46,680
Speaker 1: but you mean this is my chance for revenge? Fuck them?

267
00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:48,640
Speaker 1: You know what, Fuck these elves. They took me away

268
00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:51,320
Speaker 1: from my daughter for six years. Well, this is the

269
00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:53,960
Speaker 1: moment what I've been waiting for. I'm like, oh, now

270
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:57,800
Speaker 1: you need me. Huh, give me the key. I am

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00:14:57,920 --> 00:15:00,360
Speaker 1: out of here unless you give me that fucking key. Okay,

272
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,560
Speaker 1: give the key. I'll let you suck a little my

273
00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:05,320
Speaker 1: blood the key. Kid like that you have. I was like,

274
00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:07,440
Speaker 1: track the bag and start stepping on them.

275
00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:11,640
Speaker 2: Oh my god, that wasn't in the plans.

276
00:15:12,320 --> 00:15:16,040
Speaker 1: Matter. Okay, that's my hypothetical. The mad at these elves.

277
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:20,240
Speaker 1: They kept me from my fucking family, wife, queen of

278
00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:25,520
Speaker 1: some sort. No, right, no, and mom's at home. Mom's

279
00:15:25,560 --> 00:15:30,600
Speaker 1: at home on that fine goodness going to waste, just unserved.

280
00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:35,320
Speaker 1: Come on, I want my revenge. Man, I'm like Sweeney

281
00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:38,280
Speaker 1: Todd in this bitch you kidding me? I'm busting all

282
00:15:38,280 --> 00:15:40,640
Speaker 1: the pottery jugglers left.

283
00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:43,480
Speaker 2: This is much to.

284
00:15:48,040 --> 00:15:48,280
Speaker 1: Yeah.

285
00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:51,800
Speaker 2: No, the what you get in return is you you get,

286
00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:56,320
Speaker 2: you get magic. I'm kind of magic olf magic.

287
00:15:56,600 --> 00:16:00,760
Speaker 1: See, I need details because this is these sketchy, specious

288
00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:04,440
Speaker 1: okay deals. That's how the devil fucks you. In every

289
00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:08,560
Speaker 1: literary story and maybe even in the Bible, I can't remember,

290
00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:11,440
Speaker 1: but you always got the devil, they say. The Devil's

291
00:16:11,440 --> 00:16:14,680
Speaker 1: in the details. So that's why I'm asking so many questions.

292
00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:18,240
Speaker 2: Well, let me just continue on. So will you help

293
00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:19,160
Speaker 2: them or no?

294
00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:21,760
Speaker 1: What kind of magic am I going to get?

295
00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:23,720
Speaker 2: Like ELF's magic?

296
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:25,960
Speaker 1: All right? What does that mean? Can I make? Can

297
00:16:26,040 --> 00:16:31,040
Speaker 1: I understand what Bertie is saying? Yeah, so my magic

298
00:16:31,040 --> 00:16:32,680
Speaker 1: can translate Lucky and Bertie?

299
00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:33,120
Speaker 2: Yeah?

300
00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:34,440
Speaker 1: What else can I do?

301
00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:36,080
Speaker 2: Well, we'll get to that.

302
00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:38,360
Speaker 1: Oh no, no, no, no, this is the important things

303
00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:41,520
Speaker 1: to know before I sign off on being bitten repeatedly.

304
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:45,320
Speaker 2: Well, because if you don't help out of the kindness

305
00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:50,280
Speaker 2: of your heart, uh huh, the elves have another method.

306
00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:52,320
Speaker 1: In mind they're gonna take.

307
00:16:52,680 --> 00:16:55,800
Speaker 2: The elves have the power to erase memories from humans.

308
00:16:56,160 --> 00:16:58,880
Speaker 2: If you don't help them, they will erase clerks from

309
00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:03,920
Speaker 2: the minds of all humankind. They will actually erase every movie, project, script, performance,

310
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:07,520
Speaker 2: everything you've ever done, except for yoga hoss. You will

311
00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:10,480
Speaker 2: only be known as the filmmaker who made yoga hoss.

312
00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:14,080
Speaker 2: Except if clerks never existed, then I never exist. So

313
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:16,600
Speaker 2: instead of Lily Rose and I, it is starring Drake

314
00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:21,280
Speaker 2: Bell or Drake Campagna and Logan Paul And everywhere you.

315
00:17:21,359 --> 00:17:30,760
Speaker 5: Go, everywhere you go, yeah, people stare, daggers at you,

316
00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:33,480
Speaker 5: yell at you, even spit on the ground you walk

317
00:17:33,560 --> 00:17:37,080
Speaker 5: on because of yoga hosers. So what do you say,

318
00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:41,160
Speaker 5: elf bites in a career or dead elves and Drake Bell?

319
00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:42,800
Speaker 5: The choice is yours.

320
00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:45,359
Speaker 1: I gotta tell you you didn't have to go any

321
00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:49,000
Speaker 1: further than clerks is erased from the minds of dot

322
00:17:49,119 --> 00:17:49,760
Speaker 1: dot dot.

323
00:17:52,119 --> 00:17:55,880
Speaker 2: So basically, if you don't help them.

324
00:17:56,119 --> 00:17:59,560
Speaker 1: Oh, I understand proposition quite clearly. You don't need to

325
00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:04,280
Speaker 1: review it for me. Yeah. No, they can. They can

326
00:18:04,280 --> 00:18:07,160
Speaker 1: eat me. I work too hard.

327
00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:11,320
Speaker 2: Just remind you it's thousands of them biting you once

328
00:18:11,359 --> 00:18:11,800
Speaker 2: a day.

329
00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:16,800
Speaker 1: For a year. All right, but I'm the king, right, Yeah? Well,

330
00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:21,200
Speaker 1: but by royal decree, three quarters of our population will

331
00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:21,679
Speaker 1: be cold.

332
00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:28,000
Speaker 5: Oh my god, what's the purpose of keeping them alive?

333
00:18:28,160 --> 00:18:36,480
Speaker 1: Then, as poor they can agree to get clean, shower,

334
00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:41,000
Speaker 1: wear dental days and provide me with no infection.

335
00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:43,720
Speaker 2: You're turning around, I mean.

336
00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:46,160
Speaker 1: Look, not for nothing, but I know how to deal

337
00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:47,200
Speaker 1: with the hypothetical.

338
00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:49,480
Speaker 3: Damn.

339
00:18:49,760 --> 00:18:52,280
Speaker 2: So you're just gonna call them like it was nothing.

340
00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:53,840
Speaker 1: We're negotiating here.

341
00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:58,040
Speaker 2: You have a release, You have special relationships with all

342
00:18:58,080 --> 00:18:58,480
Speaker 2: of them?

343
00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:01,760
Speaker 1: I did, yes, Well, then they ought well they have

344
00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:05,000
Speaker 1: zero compunction about like biting. They do.

345
00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:07,280
Speaker 2: They feel they cry every time they bite you.

346
00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:10,639
Speaker 1: They feel my heart breaks for them, but my skin

347
00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:11,880
Speaker 1: is breaking for them more.

348
00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:14,480
Speaker 2: They feel affected.

349
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:16,080
Speaker 1: Because they won't shower or whatever the fuck?

350
00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:21,399
Speaker 2: So okay, what have the infection's gone? What if? What

351
00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:23,879
Speaker 2: if they cure the infection the magic.

352
00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:25,800
Speaker 1: They take it off the table, all the gather Yeah,

353
00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:27,959
Speaker 1: I have about instead of curing it with their magic.

354
00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:30,280
Speaker 1: Since they have magic, it just never exists. A.

355
00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:32,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, they don't. They don't actually get infected.

356
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:36,320
Speaker 1: I'd also propose that if they have magic, they could

357
00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:37,720
Speaker 1: also magic themselves.

358
00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:40,760
Speaker 2: Well, no they can't. Why because your blood is the

359
00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:41,600
Speaker 2: only antidote.

360
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:43,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, but magic could do anything?

361
00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:45,200
Speaker 2: No not in this case.

362
00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:48,239
Speaker 1: Magic can't. Then why am I giving up anything from

363
00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:51,240
Speaker 1: magic that won't create a fucking cure for this problem?

364
00:19:51,359 --> 00:19:52,600
Speaker 2: Because you could talk to Bertie.

365
00:19:55,640 --> 00:20:00,280
Speaker 1: I would like to find out what Bertie. I am

366
00:20:00,359 --> 00:20:00,960
Speaker 1: very curious.

367
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:06,639
Speaker 2: I see that might be worth knowing, because then you

368
00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:10,760
Speaker 2: can have you can conversate with Walkie and Bird.

369
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:14,280
Speaker 1: You know they say like all good things come too late,

370
00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:16,159
Speaker 1: Like I wish I would have made this deal in

371
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:19,359
Speaker 1: a heartbeat. I always want to know what.

372
00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:28,280
Speaker 6: Thought, oh you mean came in great to me?

373
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:34,000
Speaker 1: Every bet you meant.

374
00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:39,720
Speaker 2: Oh my god to me here one of the one

375
00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:43,440
Speaker 2: of the reviews said, I gotta find it.

376
00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:45,160
Speaker 1: Maybe laught you read the reviews.

377
00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:50,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, does he need to scream into the mic so much?

378
00:20:50,119 --> 00:20:55,760
Speaker 2: Yes to me, this one's for you, This one's for you.

379
00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:59,400
Speaker 2: D Hawk eleven, Dick.

380
00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:02,560
Speaker 1: Hawk, I was told to get right into the fucking

381
00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:06,399
Speaker 1: mike to mean, who's I speaking to that listens to

382
00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:08,120
Speaker 1: the show in the regular and they're like, bro, get

383
00:21:08,119 --> 00:21:12,560
Speaker 1: your face in the fucking mic, facing the fucking make bruh.

384
00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:15,320
Speaker 1: I said, last week, right, I told you the story

385
00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:17,680
Speaker 1: of somebody being like Kevin pict your hair. Yeah, chuck

386
00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:23,920
Speaker 1: fucking love. After we recorded that show last week, then

387
00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:32,679
Speaker 1: I went to multi con in here in town. It

388
00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:34,840
Speaker 1: was down in a little Armenia or whatever. It was

389
00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:38,600
Speaker 1: right by home Depot. Oh nice, and it was a

390
00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:42,160
Speaker 1: lovely event and some people asked about you, and I

391
00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:48,800
Speaker 1: was like, she doesn't believe in charity? No, And then

392
00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:52,840
Speaker 1: at night I drove down to Covina to do a

393
00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:56,199
Speaker 1: show with Ralph Babylon Hollywood Bebylon. I've never been to Kvina.

394
00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:57,240
Speaker 1: You ever fuck with Covina?

395
00:21:57,280 --> 00:21:58,280
Speaker 2: I don't think I've been there.

396
00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:01,120
Speaker 1: How is it fucking all right? Man?

397
00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:01,760
Speaker 2: Okay?

398
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:04,280
Speaker 1: Like I was like, where's this? Where the fuck they

399
00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:06,920
Speaker 1: got cool shops? Last strip malls and showing.

400
00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:10,960
Speaker 2: Really I was. I was impressed with strips.

401
00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:12,880
Speaker 1: And the club we went to. I do I come

402
00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:15,640
Speaker 1: from the land of strips. The club we went to,

403
00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:18,679
Speaker 1: the Laugh Factory in Covina, is a beautiful like old theater,

404
00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:21,840
Speaker 1: and they don't have like most of the comedy clubs

405
00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:25,040
Speaker 1: you do are like two hundred. They didn't have two hundred.

406
00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:26,960
Speaker 1: They were only one hundred and sixty seven seats, so

407
00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:32,000
Speaker 1: we sold that quick. But they have dynamic not dynamic pricing,

408
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:38,679
Speaker 1: but ranged pricing. So you you know, if you go

409
00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:41,399
Speaker 1: see us at Flappers, it's like all one take a price.

410
00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:46,680
Speaker 1: This place charges more the closer you get. And two

411
00:22:46,840 --> 00:22:51,120
Speaker 1: of the fucking tables were on the stage with us.

412
00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:54,399
Speaker 1: Oh so if you look to your right, you know,

413
00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:55,879
Speaker 1: because me and Ralph sitting next to each other and

414
00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:57,760
Speaker 1: face the audience. If I looked at my right, there

415
00:22:57,800 --> 00:23:00,520
Speaker 1: was a table for two, a couple ofs to my

416
00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:03,560
Speaker 1: right on the stage with this wow far away but

417
00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:07,120
Speaker 1: still like right there on stage, and then too Ralph's

418
00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:13,320
Speaker 1: left was like a table of four, And that's a premium.

419
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:14,320
Speaker 2: What would you do?

420
00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:17,159
Speaker 1: I would you? Would you if you were at a

421
00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:21,440
Speaker 1: comedy club and you're not like you're just you, I

422
00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:25,040
Speaker 1: ain't even gonna fuck it? Would you choose that table?

423
00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:27,280
Speaker 2: I would never. I'd be as far in the back

424
00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:30,200
Speaker 2: as humanly possible. If nobody can say to.

425
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:33,240
Speaker 1: Me it's you know who's like your favorite community. It's

426
00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:36,760
Speaker 1: you know what, Steve Carell doing an evening as Michael Scott.

427
00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:39,880
Speaker 2: Oh my god, a dream come true.

428
00:23:39,600 --> 00:23:42,320
Speaker 1: Maybe I want to be clubs are going to be

429
00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:43,360
Speaker 1: right there on stage.

430
00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:46,000
Speaker 2: If it was Steve Carrell doing a night of Michael,

431
00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:49,280
Speaker 2: I would absolutely purchase that table.

432
00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:53,280
Speaker 1: I did find it like these people are brave, man,

433
00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:55,560
Speaker 1: like you never brave. Part of the fun of going

434
00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:57,920
Speaker 1: to a comedy club is you're anonymous in the audience

435
00:23:57,960 --> 00:23:59,679
Speaker 1: and you're looking up at somebody who's performing.

436
00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:05,600
Speaker 2: Ship do you call people heckler?

437
00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:10,320
Speaker 1: Oh? Well, heckler is the audience and stuff. Crowd work

438
00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:13,840
Speaker 1: is the term of art that refers to the comedian

439
00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:18,159
Speaker 1: interacting with their audience. It's become rather popular in the

440
00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:21,400
Speaker 1: last few years thanks to TikTok, and comedians like doing

441
00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:25,000
Speaker 1: it because you can't shoot your act and put it

442
00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:28,880
Speaker 1: up then people see it. So if you're like, hey,

443
00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:33,080
Speaker 1: where are you from, that's disposable material that's happening right

444
00:24:33,119 --> 00:24:35,439
Speaker 1: there that night, and if gold comes out of it,

445
00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:37,840
Speaker 1: you get a bunch of laughs. Then you just put

446
00:24:37,840 --> 00:24:39,600
Speaker 1: it up in your socials and stuff, because it's not

447
00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:41,800
Speaker 1: like that's going to be able. You're not gonna be

448
00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:44,800
Speaker 1: able to duplicate that at the next show, right, So

449
00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:48,560
Speaker 1: you could see why it's become popular, and it has

450
00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:51,360
Speaker 1: led to like comedians selling out and stuff like that,

451
00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:55,240
Speaker 1: and now there's a backlash against it where people are like,

452
00:24:55,280 --> 00:24:57,359
Speaker 1: look at tired of crowd work. Man, just do a

453
00:24:57,400 --> 00:24:59,639
Speaker 1: fucking show. I'm not the show.

454
00:25:00,119 --> 00:25:01,840
Speaker 2: I would be so scared.

455
00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:03,679
Speaker 1: I'm not that guy. I'm not. They've asked me to

456
00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:07,200
Speaker 1: do roasts. I can't do that ship. I can't. That

457
00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:11,120
Speaker 1: being said, I'm not going to say I'm the king

458
00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:15,040
Speaker 1: of crowd work, but as far back as I've been

459
00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:18,480
Speaker 1: doing stand up, that's all I did, and do traditional

460
00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:21,600
Speaker 1: stand up, I did crowd work. Q and A. Oh,

461
00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:25,480
Speaker 1: that's true, absolute crowd work. It relies wholly on the

462
00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:26,480
Speaker 1: audience of the conversation.

463
00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:28,879
Speaker 2: The king of a Q and A, except the Q

464
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:31,119
Speaker 2: and A is only one person gets to ask their

465
00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:33,440
Speaker 2: question and then you talk the whole time and then

466
00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:43,240
Speaker 2: nobody else. That's what you said.

467
00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:51,480
Speaker 1: So yeah, I feel like, never mind all that ship.

468
00:25:51,560 --> 00:25:54,560
Speaker 1: Let me tell you this, what's up. I think I

469
00:25:54,600 --> 00:26:00,280
Speaker 1: got some gigs us. Yeah, against it. If it was

470
00:26:00,359 --> 00:26:05,920
Speaker 1: before the fiftieth show, you ready for this?

471
00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:08,760
Speaker 2: Oh god, right, here's yeah.

472
00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:15,560
Speaker 1: Well, comedy club in a college town I've played before,

473
00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:21,760
Speaker 1: Jay has played it apparently recently. They were relatively new

474
00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:25,480
Speaker 1: and he had a great success. A small venue, it's

475
00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:29,840
Speaker 1: like one hundred and twenty or something. But they were like,

476
00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:33,200
Speaker 1: do you think Kevin would ever come? And I was like, well,

477
00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:34,840
Speaker 1: I like the town that it's in. I can't give

478
00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:38,040
Speaker 1: details yet, so I was like, I would definitely think

479
00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:41,840
Speaker 1: about doing it. So they reached out. Jordan was like,

480
00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:44,560
Speaker 1: do you want to do shows there? And I was like, yeah,

481
00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:47,720
Speaker 1: how many shows? She's like seven? Oh my god. Well

482
00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:50,520
Speaker 1: it's like a Thursday two and a Thursday too, and

483
00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:52,399
Speaker 1: a Friday too, and a Saturday. Maybe one on a

484
00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:54,520
Speaker 1: Sunday or whatever. I was like, let me just do

485
00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:58,040
Speaker 1: two nights. Do Friday night, Saturday night? Two shows per night?

486
00:26:58,200 --> 00:26:59,040
Speaker 2: Is it in this state?

487
00:27:00,240 --> 00:27:02,280
Speaker 1: No, you'd have to get on a plane to go someplace.

488
00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:07,560
Speaker 1: Increases the chances of it selling out. Why because here, well,

489
00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:10,639
Speaker 1: number one, we live in Los Angeles, and nobody gives

490
00:27:10,640 --> 00:27:13,280
Speaker 1: a fuck in Los Angeles. Nobody wants to pay for

491
00:27:13,320 --> 00:27:17,119
Speaker 1: anything because you get everything for fucking free. True, and also,

492
00:27:17,359 --> 00:27:19,760
Speaker 1: you know, fucking what they come see us to a podcast.

493
00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:22,520
Speaker 1: But yet you could walk outside and like, well, god,

494
00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:27,160
Speaker 1: there's fucking Taylor Swift and fucking that football dude. Famous

495
00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:29,600
Speaker 1: people are everywhere. Diamond doesn't. But when you go to

496
00:27:29,640 --> 00:27:33,720
Speaker 1: a college town or some town that's not fucking Los Angeles,

497
00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:36,800
Speaker 1: like just picking randomly out of the air, Eugene, Oregon?

498
00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:37,920
Speaker 2: Is that it?

499
00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:42,760
Speaker 1: I said, just picking it up the air? Eugene, Oregon

500
00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:45,600
Speaker 1: where they shot Animal House?

501
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:47,480
Speaker 2: Is that the town in question?

502
00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:52,600
Speaker 1: Do you know? I know Oregon the entire state. I know, Well,

503
00:27:53,119 --> 00:27:54,280
Speaker 1: we're friends in high school.

504
00:27:54,560 --> 00:27:55,080
Speaker 3: It exists.

505
00:27:55,119 --> 00:27:57,040
Speaker 1: We kind of fell out, but like I'd like to

506
00:27:57,080 --> 00:28:01,679
Speaker 1: get to know again. Yeah. So basically it would be

507
00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:05,640
Speaker 1: like four shows. I would do you and I would

508
00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:08,440
Speaker 1: do the early show, and then I would do solo

509
00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:15,080
Speaker 1: the late show. Okay, I get to see how you

510
00:28:15,119 --> 00:28:16,880
Speaker 1: are in front of a live audience. Now it's gonna

511
00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:19,119
Speaker 1: be different, and also like not for nothing, but you

512
00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:21,040
Speaker 1: might want to talk to Jay first and be like

513
00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:25,800
Speaker 1: your father's tough in a live show because they ain't

514
00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:28,520
Speaker 1: like this all fucking Lucy Goosey and shit where it's

515
00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:32,440
Speaker 1: just like all right, then what happens after I fucking

516
00:28:32,480 --> 00:28:35,480
Speaker 1: get bit buddy. Oh you know, let's say you're doing

517
00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:37,160
Speaker 1: it in the audience. Just this is like I went

518
00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:40,360
Speaker 1: back to the elves so tired. Why do we pay

519
00:28:40,360 --> 00:28:42,560
Speaker 1: for the show? It's better for free at Oh my god,

520
00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:45,760
Speaker 1: that's what I'm saying. So here there's no audience, so

521
00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:47,480
Speaker 1: you just do whatever you want and shit like that

522
00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:51,080
Speaker 1: could lead to very funny flights of fancy. When you're

523
00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:53,920
Speaker 1: on a stage, the dynamic of the show changes based

524
00:28:53,960 --> 00:28:59,160
Speaker 1: on the audience because suddenly it's all about those laughs,

525
00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:02,600
Speaker 1: because that's how the easiest way for you to know

526
00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:05,280
Speaker 1: how you're doing right, Like people laughing. It's like, oh

527
00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:08,880
Speaker 1: my god, we're killing this is great if you go real,

528
00:29:10,480 --> 00:29:13,080
Speaker 1: you know, people if they do that at all. And

529
00:29:13,160 --> 00:29:15,920
Speaker 1: when I go real, I tend to do it deeper

530
00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:18,400
Speaker 1: into the show. Once everybody's like laughing, I feel like,

531
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:21,280
Speaker 1: all right, I got everything, and then I got this

532
00:29:21,400 --> 00:29:23,800
Speaker 1: under control. Let me fucking throw them a curveball. My

533
00:29:23,920 --> 00:29:27,960
Speaker 1: curve ball lately has been like, you know, two years

534
00:29:27,960 --> 00:29:30,040
Speaker 1: ago from right now, I was in a loony bin

535
00:29:30,080 --> 00:29:31,960
Speaker 1: blah blah blah, stuff like that, and you watch the

536
00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:36,760
Speaker 1: audience like fucking tighten up, Like there's sphincters be like, wait, what,

537
00:29:36,880 --> 00:29:38,840
Speaker 1: I don't want to it is real, I don't know.

538
00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:41,000
Speaker 1: But then you know, you make it okay for them

539
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:45,360
Speaker 1: and stuff like that and start making jokes. So for

540
00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:48,840
Speaker 1: years me and MOJ did some mydcasts in a room

541
00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:52,080
Speaker 1: just like this, and then we finally took it live

542
00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:56,600
Speaker 1: one day and the show completely changed. And I'm not

543
00:29:56,640 --> 00:29:58,200
Speaker 1: saying for the better or for the worse. It just

544
00:29:58,440 --> 00:30:02,040
Speaker 1: the live shows are different beasts than the home shows

545
00:30:02,120 --> 00:30:07,040
Speaker 1: because there's a bunch of people sitting there not watching you,

546
00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:12,080
Speaker 1: but letting you know how you're doing. So, I mean,

547
00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:14,760
Speaker 1: it doesn't make it scary or anything. It just means

548
00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:19,920
Speaker 1: that when you come, you come loaded for bear. Like

549
00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:22,360
Speaker 1: you see how you wrote down that thing? Yeah, you

550
00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:27,800
Speaker 1: write down four hundred things so that if something's not working,

551
00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:30,040
Speaker 1: you could always pull something else up and be like,

552
00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:34,040
Speaker 1: oh what about that? Like, because that's what Jay learned

553
00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:35,800
Speaker 1: to do over time and stuff. It was like, you

554
00:30:35,800 --> 00:30:38,280
Speaker 1: should bring a notebook and write down shit so that

555
00:30:38,600 --> 00:30:41,000
Speaker 1: when you're up there you'll never run out of shit.

556
00:30:41,120 --> 00:30:44,440
Speaker 1: To say, he took me very seriously, but it's fun,

557
00:30:45,040 --> 00:30:47,480
Speaker 1: especially when you win the audience and you're just fucking

558
00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:51,200
Speaker 1: making them laugh, and then you feel like a god

559
00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:54,960
Speaker 1: because you're like, I control their emotions. I can make

560
00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:58,880
Speaker 1: them so happy just by saying something inflecting it like this,

561
00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:05,560
Speaker 1: Now I can bring joy. I'm in control emotions. You

562
00:31:05,720 --> 00:31:12,959
Speaker 1: are much you are my pup. It's it's there's no

563
00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:15,760
Speaker 1: better feeling in the world. It's intoxicating. As you want that.

564
00:31:15,800 --> 00:31:18,240
Speaker 1: You've been in front of an audience as a person

565
00:31:18,280 --> 00:31:21,240
Speaker 1: who does this ship and goes there, but you've also

566
00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:24,640
Speaker 1: been in front of an audience talking as well. Q

567
00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:26,480
Speaker 1: and A's are at the podcast we've done.

568
00:31:26,640 --> 00:31:30,600
Speaker 2: I feel like I used to introduce you all the time. Yeah,

569
00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:34,240
Speaker 2: as a kid, but like during yoga, hosers got too.

570
00:31:35,280 --> 00:31:38,080
Speaker 2: I remember quite a few times I did. I roasted

571
00:31:38,080 --> 00:31:41,240
Speaker 2: you one time we went to Comic Con.

572
00:31:41,360 --> 00:31:42,960
Speaker 1: Why I wrote you out of the will, Yeah that

573
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:45,480
Speaker 1: makes sense. I gave everything to Nana Pop.

574
00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:49,880
Speaker 2: Your other children.

575
00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:52,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, man, fucking look, you'll have it easy. You'll have

576
00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:56,479
Speaker 1: a man you know why why you can just fucking

577
00:31:56,680 --> 00:32:01,040
Speaker 1: tag up easy layups against your old man fine youth

578
00:32:01,120 --> 00:32:05,200
Speaker 1: rules and everybody hates old people so true. Now it's

579
00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:08,520
Speaker 1: full of old people. So but that's your other way

580
00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:08,800
Speaker 1: to win.

581
00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:10,200
Speaker 2: I thought it was a college town.

582
00:32:10,760 --> 00:32:12,600
Speaker 1: It's college town. Who do you think is gonna come out? Well,

583
00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:14,920
Speaker 1: that's the thing. The dynamic could be different. Normally, when

584
00:32:14,920 --> 00:32:16,400
Speaker 1: I go out there, I'm sitting next to some other

585
00:32:16,480 --> 00:32:19,320
Speaker 1: old fucker and we're surrounded by old fuckers, and maybe

586
00:32:19,320 --> 00:32:21,840
Speaker 1: they bring their kids. Maybe if they've gotten their kids

587
00:32:21,880 --> 00:32:24,800
Speaker 1: into the shit. But you could change everything. It is

588
00:32:24,840 --> 00:32:28,320
Speaker 1: a college town. Some people might just come to be like, well,

589
00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:31,440
Speaker 1: he's got a daughter and she's not fucking fifty.

590
00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:33,520
Speaker 2: You got a point.

591
00:32:34,440 --> 00:32:37,360
Speaker 1: Or people might just come out of freak curiosity like.

592
00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:40,200
Speaker 2: Ew beardless, tickless me.

593
00:32:40,800 --> 00:32:43,160
Speaker 1: Eh, it's a father and a daughter talking to each other.

594
00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:45,680
Speaker 1: How is that even a show? It sounds like a punishment.

595
00:32:45,800 --> 00:32:48,520
Speaker 1: I got to check this out. Then you gotta be

596
00:32:48,680 --> 00:32:50,480
Speaker 1: charming as fucking win them over, and.

597
00:32:50,400 --> 00:32:52,560
Speaker 2: Shit, I can try my best.

598
00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:56,240
Speaker 1: Sorry, your best is not good enough for you to do.

599
00:32:59,080 --> 00:32:59,400
Speaker 2: Nice?

600
00:33:01,360 --> 00:33:04,960
Speaker 1: But would you like to U you think you're ready

601
00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:06,880
Speaker 1: to do this in front of people? I think you're

602
00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:08,960
Speaker 1: ready for feeling it. You feel what you feel like.

603
00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:18,280
Speaker 1: I am not confidence chip off the old block.

604
00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:24,800
Speaker 2: How do how do we get people to come sell tickets? Well? Yeah,

605
00:33:24,920 --> 00:33:30,240
Speaker 2: but but that's scary. What if nobody comes.

606
00:33:30,720 --> 00:33:33,520
Speaker 1: I think that were here. Here's what happened. First, we

607
00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:38,360
Speaker 1: put up those shows for sale, just those shows. So

608
00:33:38,520 --> 00:33:40,719
Speaker 1: if you're in that area and you're like, all right,

609
00:33:40,720 --> 00:33:43,160
Speaker 1: I want to see Kevin Smith. This is how I'm

610
00:33:43,160 --> 00:33:47,080
Speaker 1: going to see Kevin Smith. Cool, Like, I'll check it out.

611
00:33:47,120 --> 00:33:48,960
Speaker 1: He's funny. I've seen him talk to other people and

612
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:52,320
Speaker 1: ship why not his kid? Once the show sells out,

613
00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:55,960
Speaker 1: then I add the late shows where it's me by

614
00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:58,120
Speaker 1: myself and they're like, oh, I get the best.

615
00:33:57,920 --> 00:34:01,400
Speaker 2: Of both worlds giving away your plan right now.

616
00:34:01,600 --> 00:34:04,840
Speaker 1: But marketing, sorry, I'm not trying out with the audience,

617
00:34:04,880 --> 00:34:09,359
Speaker 1: but it is like, you know, for those who are listening, yeah,

618
00:34:09,400 --> 00:34:11,000
Speaker 1: I guess they're like, oh, there's going to be two

619
00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:14,040
Speaker 1: bites at this apple. But here, it's easy for me

620
00:34:14,080 --> 00:34:16,920
Speaker 1: to tell this audience that because they would be more

621
00:34:16,960 --> 00:34:21,400
Speaker 1: inclined to be going to beer. The stickless means ken that.

622
00:34:21,680 --> 00:34:26,120
Speaker 2: I mean, Hey, if Eugene, Oregon will have us, I

623
00:34:26,200 --> 00:34:29,920
Speaker 2: will be there feeling it. I'm feeling it now.

624
00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:37,879
Speaker 1: When soon, I mean at least like probably a month

625
00:34:37,920 --> 00:34:40,240
Speaker 1: two months, because we need a month to sell tickets,

626
00:34:40,239 --> 00:34:42,800
Speaker 1: So at least one month or two months away okay,

627
00:34:44,360 --> 00:34:50,560
Speaker 1: but the club is like, we'll do this, but the

628
00:34:50,640 --> 00:34:58,160
Speaker 1: deal is that you have to let elves suck your blood,

629
00:34:59,160 --> 00:35:02,799
Speaker 1: a thousand of them every day for a year. Yeah,

630
00:35:03,360 --> 00:35:05,600
Speaker 1: on stage while people watch. You're gonna sell tickets to it.

631
00:35:05,760 --> 00:35:06,399
Speaker 2: That's the show.

632
00:35:06,560 --> 00:35:08,880
Speaker 1: That's the second show. First show is beer. Listen with me.

633
00:35:08,960 --> 00:35:11,200
Speaker 1: They're like, nobody wants to go to Kevin's the solo show.

634
00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:13,560
Speaker 1: Now the elves eat your daughter. People will pay to

635
00:35:13,560 --> 00:35:18,360
Speaker 1: see that. That's how bad do you want fame?

636
00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:19,800
Speaker 2: Not that bad.

637
00:35:21,719 --> 00:35:26,360
Speaker 1: Where you start paying with blood. Blood in the filthy

638
00:35:26,440 --> 00:35:28,879
Speaker 1: mouth of a dirty elf who won't brush.

639
00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:31,720
Speaker 2: His teeth, who has a tooth infection.

640
00:35:31,920 --> 00:35:36,600
Speaker 1: Won't wear a dental damn disrespectful little focks. It doesn't

641
00:35:36,640 --> 00:35:42,120
Speaker 1: feel right, It doesn't. That's good, but hey, that's the

642
00:35:42,200 --> 00:35:43,000
Speaker 1: rubbers arcade.

643
00:35:43,560 --> 00:35:46,760
Speaker 2: We now, Oh the elves, the silly elves.

644
00:35:47,200 --> 00:35:49,520
Speaker 1: That's when they break the pottery and put it to

645
00:35:49,719 --> 00:36:04,040
Speaker 1: your dug ezer, my friend, see my arm bro good body, Helphi.

646
00:36:07,600 --> 00:36:13,120
Speaker 1: Oh my god, your mom said something funny yesterday that

647
00:36:13,160 --> 00:36:16,399
Speaker 1: made me go, like what, I can't remember.

648
00:36:17,960 --> 00:36:18,840
Speaker 2: She said something.

649
00:36:18,680 --> 00:36:22,120
Speaker 1: Funny, funny in the moment that was actually pretty fire.

650
00:36:22,040 --> 00:36:26,080
Speaker 2: All right, but not fire enough to remember.

651
00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:30,279
Speaker 1: Remember, But I did remember laughing with not that.

652
00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:39,040
Speaker 2: A rare occasion, no kidding, just kidding, just kidding. Who

653
00:36:39,080 --> 00:36:39,640
Speaker 2: said that?

654
00:36:42,680 --> 00:36:45,080
Speaker 1: All right? If you were in control of the show,

655
00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:48,320
Speaker 1: did you only have that one hypothetical? And that was that?

656
00:36:50,160 --> 00:36:52,879
Speaker 1: Oh my god? What driving? Holy shit?

657
00:36:54,840 --> 00:36:57,440
Speaker 6: All right, let's see what else we got in this

658
00:36:57,640 --> 00:36:58,239
Speaker 6: notes up?

659
00:37:00,120 --> 00:37:04,520
Speaker 1: Watching anything? How about here? How about this? What'd you

660
00:37:04,600 --> 00:37:06,440
Speaker 1: do this weekend? Kid?

661
00:37:06,960 --> 00:37:07,560
Speaker 2: This weekend?

662
00:37:07,760 --> 00:37:09,040
Speaker 1: Yeah? Tell him that?

663
00:37:09,360 --> 00:37:10,719
Speaker 2: Oh okay, where'd to go?

664
00:37:11,360 --> 00:37:11,879
Speaker 3: All right?

665
00:37:12,640 --> 00:37:16,279
Speaker 1: Fucking leg elves sucking my dick? Where you went?

666
00:37:16,760 --> 00:37:19,680
Speaker 2: I thought that. I thought that's what people wanted, That's.

667
00:37:19,560 --> 00:37:21,400
Speaker 1: What I wanted. I was off for I'm so proud.

668
00:37:21,960 --> 00:37:24,920
Speaker 1: I can't wait to go home upstairs. I can't wait

669
00:37:24,960 --> 00:37:27,600
Speaker 1: to go upstairs. Tell your mother, like, finally she's coming

670
00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:31,560
Speaker 1: up their own hypotheses. She's like, they involved sex. I'm like,

671
00:37:31,640 --> 00:37:33,799
Speaker 1: not yet, but they will No, they never will run

672
00:37:33,840 --> 00:37:34,400
Speaker 1: out murder.

673
00:37:36,080 --> 00:37:38,360
Speaker 2: I was also thinking there could be a new category

674
00:37:38,440 --> 00:37:42,480
Speaker 2: that's do you know your daughter's dot dot dot boyfriend?

675
00:37:42,840 --> 00:37:45,640
Speaker 2: And I asked you questions about Austin instead of me,

676
00:37:46,360 --> 00:37:46,600
Speaker 2: is it.

677
00:37:46,640 --> 00:37:50,439
Speaker 1: Dot dot dot boyfriend, dot dot dot cat, dot dot

678
00:37:50,440 --> 00:37:54,239
Speaker 1: dot rabbit? Like you can fill in any category. Yeah,

679
00:37:54,960 --> 00:37:55,759
Speaker 1: was it that or no?

680
00:37:58,719 --> 00:37:59,960
Speaker 2: But it could be anything you want.

681
00:38:00,640 --> 00:38:03,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, I can do that because then you know, like

682
00:38:03,600 --> 00:38:05,279
Speaker 1: sooner or later, I'll know everything there is to know

683
00:38:05,280 --> 00:38:14,000
Speaker 1: about Austin. But like Austin Bellingham, Yep, Austin Bellinghamager Marjorie.

684
00:38:14,120 --> 00:38:23,800
Speaker 1: Isn't it Austin Austin, Philip Austin Philip Arthur Charles Zager, Yes,

685
00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:29,680
Speaker 1: Austin Slappy Zager.

686
00:38:30,400 --> 00:38:34,759
Speaker 2: There, there you go, Austin. I'll give you the initials

687
00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:36,640
Speaker 2: A m Z and.

688
00:38:36,800 --> 00:38:43,000
Speaker 1: Austin Michael Austin Michell after his father. My brother is

689
00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:45,120
Speaker 1: a is a masculine junior.

690
00:38:45,560 --> 00:38:47,160
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, Donald.

691
00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:49,880
Speaker 1: My dad's name was Donald. Then my brother's name is Donald.

692
00:38:50,080 --> 00:38:51,920
Speaker 2: It's also the do you know.

693
00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:55,440
Speaker 1: Who I'm named after? Kevin Patrick, the saint?

694
00:38:57,719 --> 00:38:59,000
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.

695
00:38:58,840 --> 00:39:03,880
Speaker 1: Excuse me. Uh well Patrick does count for the middle name?

696
00:39:04,280 --> 00:39:12,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, Oh Kevin, Kevin Kevin James.

697
00:39:13,920 --> 00:39:15,840
Speaker 1: The King of Queen's was a huge show that my

698
00:39:15,880 --> 00:39:19,400
Speaker 1: mother loves, and she was like a name. If it's

699
00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:23,600
Speaker 1: a girl, it's Leah, and if it's a boy, it's Kevin.

700
00:39:24,680 --> 00:39:25,200
Speaker 2: No, Kevin.

701
00:39:25,360 --> 00:39:27,799
Speaker 1: It was, as we know, based on the fourth Ory movie.

702
00:39:28,360 --> 00:39:31,400
Speaker 1: It was going to be briand yes, of course there

703
00:39:31,440 --> 00:39:34,200
Speaker 1: was another Brian David. My mom pivoted with Kevin. But

704
00:39:34,280 --> 00:39:39,160
Speaker 1: why Kevin? But why for my uncle.

705
00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:41,200
Speaker 4: keV?

706
00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:49,400
Speaker 1: Which I had none? So no, nothing. She just picked it.

707
00:39:52,719 --> 00:39:55,480
Speaker 1: I think mamily picked it just so she could call

708
00:39:55,560 --> 00:40:02,600
Speaker 1: me Kevin from him. Ah 's a high bar your life.

709
00:40:02,640 --> 00:40:03,840
Speaker 1: I'm like I am from heaven?

710
00:40:03,880 --> 00:40:04,879
Speaker 2: Are I?

711
00:40:05,080 --> 00:40:08,560
Speaker 1: My mother told me? And she never lies. Let me

712
00:40:08,560 --> 00:40:12,040
Speaker 1: tell you something about Momily. I love Momily to death.

713
00:40:12,560 --> 00:40:16,319
Speaker 1: She ain't above the liar two O. Momily is a

714
00:40:16,360 --> 00:40:19,880
Speaker 1: Catholic that was like, you know, some of the ships

715
00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:23,799
Speaker 1: for the birds. She'd never say that, but you know

716
00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:30,080
Speaker 1: she was like Momily loves loved God and perhaps still does.

717
00:40:30,680 --> 00:40:35,560
Speaker 1: She's just not churchy anymore and stuff. But she loved

718
00:40:35,560 --> 00:40:36,279
Speaker 1: a bargain more.

719
00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:38,279
Speaker 2: And you know what, who could blame her?

720
00:40:38,560 --> 00:40:42,520
Speaker 1: Sometimes in order to get the best bargains aka the

721
00:40:42,960 --> 00:40:47,000
Speaker 1: fabled five finger discount, you have to turn the blind

722
00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:47,720
Speaker 1: eye to the Lord.

723
00:40:48,560 --> 00:40:52,719
Speaker 2: Does momiy uh fuck with Marshalls and TJ Max.

724
00:40:53,440 --> 00:40:53,880
Speaker 1: Like I do?

725
00:40:54,719 --> 00:40:55,160
Speaker 3: Momily?

726
00:40:55,760 --> 00:40:59,000
Speaker 1: Given her druthers, Momily would wake up in those stores.

727
00:40:59,440 --> 00:41:02,120
Speaker 1: Oh my god, she doesn't do it quite so much anymore.

728
00:41:02,120 --> 00:41:04,319
Speaker 1: But when she was driving because mommy gave up the car.

729
00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:07,640
Speaker 1: When she was driving, she would go like to the

730
00:41:07,840 --> 00:41:11,160
Speaker 1: dollar Store and buy hundreds of dollars worth of things

731
00:41:11,200 --> 00:41:14,200
Speaker 1: to give away, to give away, gives this show up

732
00:41:14,200 --> 00:41:16,160
Speaker 1: at a person's house and be like, here's a tablecloth.

733
00:41:19,760 --> 00:41:22,040
Speaker 1: And she's still like going to those stores as well.

734
00:41:22,120 --> 00:41:25,200
Speaker 1: So yeah, Momily would. If you were in Florida and

735
00:41:25,239 --> 00:41:27,920
Speaker 1: you were like, mom Y, I'm taking it Home Goods, she'd.

736
00:41:27,719 --> 00:41:32,560
Speaker 2: Be like, oh fuck yeah, Bridley Nana. We oh we

737
00:41:32,680 --> 00:41:35,880
Speaker 2: hit up, We hit up Marshalls and we hit up

738
00:41:35,880 --> 00:41:38,879
Speaker 2: home Goods and it's a great time because you never

739
00:41:38,920 --> 00:41:41,000
Speaker 2: know what you're gonna find, because it's different every day.

740
00:41:41,320 --> 00:41:44,120
Speaker 1: You know what you're going to find, the same crap

741
00:41:44,160 --> 00:41:47,080
Speaker 1: you'll find in every home goods across country. Do you

742
00:41:47,120 --> 00:41:49,400
Speaker 1: know where you get something one of a kind?

743
00:41:49,719 --> 00:41:50,400
Speaker 2: That's her store.

744
00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:59,719
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, miss Jackson, but this ship's for real. See

745
00:41:59,760 --> 00:42:05,319
Speaker 1: these fucking Wanda and Vision Vision and the Scarlet Witch

746
00:42:05,360 --> 00:42:07,000
Speaker 1: Paint giant paintings behind me.

747
00:42:07,120 --> 00:42:08,000
Speaker 2: They're really nice.

748
00:42:08,280 --> 00:42:12,000
Speaker 1: Got that on Facebook Marketplace man from Katie Bettini.

749
00:42:12,440 --> 00:42:13,680
Speaker 2: Oh nice, Katie.

750
00:42:13,760 --> 00:42:15,640
Speaker 1: Not only do I get these, man, look how they

751
00:42:15,640 --> 00:42:17,680
Speaker 1: make me so happy? They're so vibrant, ship. She painted

752
00:42:17,719 --> 00:42:18,040
Speaker 1: them during.

753
00:42:18,200 --> 00:42:19,320
Speaker 2: They are really vibrant.

754
00:42:19,440 --> 00:42:21,920
Speaker 1: Oh my god, they're fucking phenomenal. You should, you should,

755
00:42:22,560 --> 00:42:23,480
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you something.

756
00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:30,160
Speaker 2: Oh wow, come on, you literally already have one of those,

757
00:42:30,480 --> 00:42:33,919
Speaker 2: and I hate it. I'm trying to collect them all.

758
00:42:36,080 --> 00:42:37,759
Speaker 1: Her dor as like a comic book.

759
00:42:37,760 --> 00:42:39,680
Speaker 2: Super Oh really yeah.

760
00:42:39,239 --> 00:42:41,960
Speaker 1: Like pick a body that's like, you know, like you

761
00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:45,439
Speaker 1: would recognize, like maybe the Fantastic for like a Soux

762
00:42:45,480 --> 00:42:47,279
Speaker 1: Storm or something like that. I gotta figure out which one.

763
00:42:47,680 --> 00:42:49,000
Speaker 1: Maybe a dead pull up? You know what?

764
00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:53,080
Speaker 2: Have you seen the The X Men rumor casting?

765
00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:54,160
Speaker 1: No?

766
00:42:54,880 --> 00:42:55,640
Speaker 2: Oh you have not.

767
00:42:56,080 --> 00:42:59,920
Speaker 1: I've been busy. After I went to New Jersey. Well,

768
00:43:00,040 --> 00:43:02,319
Speaker 1: I never even finished talking about my I went to

769
00:43:02,480 --> 00:43:04,920
Speaker 1: Multicon and then I had Yeah where.

770
00:43:04,760 --> 00:43:06,840
Speaker 2: You said I don't like I do.

771
00:43:08,400 --> 00:43:10,960
Speaker 1: And then I went to Babylon that night and stuff

772
00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:13,440
Speaker 1: in Covina and Covino was Discovery. Then I got on

773
00:43:13,440 --> 00:43:17,920
Speaker 1: a plane the next morning flew to Schmadcastle Shinemas in

774
00:43:17,960 --> 00:43:19,399
Speaker 1: New Jersey.

775
00:43:19,600 --> 00:43:22,120
Speaker 2: Tracy Morgan was Tracy came.

776
00:43:22,200 --> 00:43:26,000
Speaker 1: To see cop out for the fifteenth anniversary screen and

777
00:43:26,040 --> 00:43:29,640
Speaker 1: I'm seeing Tracy in Honestly, I was thinking about it,

778
00:43:29,640 --> 00:43:32,359
Speaker 1: and I think since the fucking premiere. Wow, Like I

779
00:43:32,400 --> 00:43:34,960
Speaker 1: was texting with him before he got into the car accident,

780
00:43:34,960 --> 00:43:36,840
Speaker 1: which he fucking brought up at one point, and like,

781
00:43:36,920 --> 00:43:38,960
Speaker 1: I lost my ship on stage. I was laughing so

782
00:43:39,000 --> 00:43:41,920
Speaker 1: hard because Tracy, like part of Tracy's whole thing is

783
00:43:41,960 --> 00:43:47,040
Speaker 1: he like he like he does boasty things like gum

784
00:43:47,120 --> 00:43:51,040
Speaker 1: on gids Zolti's pregnant, you know. But he was talking.

785
00:43:51,080 --> 00:43:52,719
Speaker 1: He was up there and he was talking about like

786
00:43:52,800 --> 00:43:55,360
Speaker 1: adversity and ship and he was like, you can't kill me.

787
00:43:55,960 --> 00:43:58,520
Speaker 1: No one could kill me. He goes Walmart, couldn't kill

788
00:43:58,600 --> 00:44:02,760
Speaker 1: me because truck almost killed him. He was in an accident,

789
00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:05,120
Speaker 1: a really bad accent coming home from a show. I

790
00:44:05,120 --> 00:44:06,680
Speaker 1: don't know if they were on a tour bus or

791
00:44:06,760 --> 00:44:09,799
Speaker 1: just a regular like pass band kind of thing, but

792
00:44:09,880 --> 00:44:13,640
Speaker 1: they Tracy came insanely close to dying. This was like, yeah,

793
00:44:13,640 --> 00:44:18,520
Speaker 1: I remember, and he did lose his friend. Oh, it

794
00:44:18,560 --> 00:44:20,120
Speaker 1: was a bad accident. It took him a while to

795
00:44:20,160 --> 00:44:22,439
Speaker 1: get back, you know, up on his feet. But now

796
00:44:23,000 --> 00:44:25,120
Speaker 1: you would never fucking tell. So he was up there

797
00:44:25,200 --> 00:44:28,480
Speaker 1: talking about that, but Joe like he wasn't talking about that,

798
00:44:28,560 --> 00:44:31,239
Speaker 1: but dropping a reference to that in a joke. Yeah,

799
00:44:31,640 --> 00:44:33,719
Speaker 1: Like I didn't see that shit coming. Talk about like

800
00:44:33,800 --> 00:44:36,839
Speaker 1: way to deal with your trauma? Man, Yeah, turned into

801
00:44:36,840 --> 00:44:40,760
Speaker 1: some comedy, but he was absolutely fucking lovely and stuff,

802
00:44:40,800 --> 00:44:42,840
Speaker 1: and you want to talk about trauma bonding. Him and

803
00:44:42,880 --> 00:44:47,080
Speaker 1: I went through a thing together and it was nice

804
00:44:47,120 --> 00:44:49,200
Speaker 1: to kind of be up there. And it wasn't like,

805
00:44:50,040 --> 00:44:52,080
Speaker 1: let's shoot it on fucking Bruce, not at all. Like

806
00:44:52,200 --> 00:44:54,320
Speaker 1: watching the movie from end to end, which I have

807
00:44:54,520 --> 00:44:57,840
Speaker 1: not done in fifteen fucking years. I didn't fuck with

808
00:44:57,880 --> 00:44:59,759
Speaker 1: this movie like I fucked with my own because I

809
00:44:59,760 --> 00:45:02,200
Speaker 1: wrote my own and I continue to build my universe

810
00:45:02,239 --> 00:45:04,840
Speaker 1: and shit like that. The cop out was like fraught

811
00:45:04,840 --> 00:45:07,320
Speaker 1: with a bunch of shit, including like all the stuff

812
00:45:07,360 --> 00:45:09,160
Speaker 1: with Bruce, and this was coming on the heels of

813
00:45:09,880 --> 00:45:11,920
Speaker 1: two Fat to Fly and then like I got in

814
00:45:11,960 --> 00:45:14,920
Speaker 1: a fight with critics and shit like that. It's so

815
00:45:15,440 --> 00:45:20,279
Speaker 1: interesting time, Oh my god, nightmare. So I it's not

816
00:45:20,360 --> 00:45:23,080
Speaker 1: a movie every visited. I've never had like the poster

817
00:45:23,239 --> 00:45:28,000
Speaker 1: framed in the house or anything like that. And watching

818
00:45:28,040 --> 00:45:33,279
Speaker 1: it like at on Sunday at the podcastle like it's

819
00:45:33,280 --> 00:45:37,279
Speaker 1: a fucking It's like, so I'm so wishy washy, like

820
00:45:37,320 --> 00:45:39,440
Speaker 1: a fuck. Critic goes like you suck, and I'm like,

821
00:45:39,440 --> 00:45:42,800
Speaker 1: you're right, I suck. It's a goodass movie. It's fun.

822
00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:45,480
Speaker 1: I don't think I've ever seen it like he he

823
00:45:45,640 --> 00:45:51,480
Speaker 1: makes it like Tracy is absolutely like comedically wonderful. Like

824
00:45:51,560 --> 00:45:54,880
Speaker 1: he literally makes me laugh out loud throughout the movie funny.

825
00:45:56,560 --> 00:46:01,560
Speaker 1: But Bruce like does Bruce, you know, and like that's

826
00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:03,200
Speaker 1: the thing. He didn't want to. He was kind of

827
00:46:03,239 --> 00:46:05,719
Speaker 1: tired of playing Bruce at that point. But he gives

828
00:46:05,760 --> 00:46:07,560
Speaker 1: good Bruce. The whole time I was watching the movie,

829
00:46:07,560 --> 00:46:09,520
Speaker 1: I wasn't sitting there going like, oh he made it

830
00:46:09,560 --> 00:46:12,480
Speaker 1: hard and shit. I was like, man, fucking I got

831
00:46:12,520 --> 00:46:14,720
Speaker 1: to work with Bruce Belson. Look there he is giving

832
00:46:14,800 --> 00:46:18,840
Speaker 1: me full Bruce Willis and shit like that. But yeah,

833
00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:21,880
Speaker 1: it was. It was wonderful. It was very therapeutic. And

834
00:46:21,920 --> 00:46:24,120
Speaker 1: then he got up before the screening and chit Chad,

835
00:46:24,160 --> 00:46:27,120
Speaker 1: and then he got up afterwards and chit chatted as well,

836
00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:28,880
Speaker 1: and then he signed the wall and then he had

837
00:46:28,920 --> 00:46:34,239
Speaker 1: to get out. But it was absolutely fucking wonderful and

838
00:46:34,440 --> 00:46:40,640
Speaker 1: nice to you know, like when bad things happen in

839
00:46:41,640 --> 00:46:44,600
Speaker 1: you know, movies and shit like that. I've often described

840
00:46:44,600 --> 00:46:46,279
Speaker 1: it as like I described it this way, in front

841
00:46:46,320 --> 00:46:51,240
Speaker 1: of somebody. Oh. I was on a panel on Saturday

842
00:46:51,280 --> 00:46:53,800
Speaker 1: at Multicon. I was on a panel with Robert Kirkman

843
00:46:54,680 --> 00:46:58,759
Speaker 1: Walking Dead and Invincible and Rob Leifeld who created a

844
00:46:58,800 --> 00:47:01,920
Speaker 1: dead Pool and the fucking Marvel kids that helped create

845
00:47:01,960 --> 00:47:05,480
Speaker 1: image or co created image and shit. And I was

846
00:47:05,520 --> 00:47:08,359
Speaker 1: talking about like what happens like when a movie flops, man,

847
00:47:08,640 --> 00:47:13,680
Speaker 1: Like it's it's like you know, in the Bible, when

848
00:47:13,719 --> 00:47:17,239
Speaker 1: fucking Jesus gets arrested and all the apostles scatter and

849
00:47:17,239 --> 00:47:19,319
Speaker 1: they're like, hey, you knew that guy, right, and like, no, no,

850
00:47:19,360 --> 00:47:21,080
Speaker 1: I never heard of Jesus. And then you hear cock

851
00:47:21,120 --> 00:47:29,439
Speaker 1: brow and like that that it's there's you know, cop

852
00:47:29,480 --> 00:47:33,760
Speaker 1: Out didn't flop. It's actually my highest grossing film. Wow,

853
00:47:34,400 --> 00:47:38,000
Speaker 1: But I ran from that movie when all was said

854
00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:42,680
Speaker 1: and done and shit. And it was nice to engage

855
00:47:42,800 --> 00:47:45,800
Speaker 1: with it with him in the room and him talking

856
00:47:45,840 --> 00:47:48,120
Speaker 1: about it, being like, you know, this was my shot,

857
00:47:48,400 --> 00:47:51,279
Speaker 1: Like I shot this movie down the street from where

858
00:47:51,320 --> 00:47:55,160
Speaker 1: I was born, in my neighborhood. It's really really kind

859
00:47:55,160 --> 00:47:58,200
Speaker 1: of speed that sweet. And then the next day I

860
00:47:58,239 --> 00:47:59,920
Speaker 1: got on a plane and I went to a place

861
00:48:00,040 --> 00:48:04,440
Speaker 1: so I can't double yet to do some scouting location

862
00:48:04,600 --> 00:48:07,080
Speaker 1: scouting for the new motion picture.

863
00:48:07,200 --> 00:48:09,080
Speaker 2: That's extremely exact.

864
00:48:11,600 --> 00:48:12,840
Speaker 1: And then I came home yesterday.

865
00:48:13,640 --> 00:48:15,120
Speaker 2: I was in Rhode Island.

866
00:48:15,320 --> 00:48:18,080
Speaker 1: Yes, Like, I was like, tell them what you did?

867
00:48:18,120 --> 00:48:20,640
Speaker 2: Hold on, I'll tell them what I hold on one second?

868
00:48:21,640 --> 00:48:24,320
Speaker 1: What the fuck are you doing Rhode Island? I was filming,

869
00:48:25,239 --> 00:48:27,439
Speaker 1: trying to feel big because it's a small estate. There

870
00:48:27,480 --> 00:48:27,759
Speaker 1: is you.

871
00:48:27,960 --> 00:48:29,440
Speaker 2: Well, it is so clever?

872
00:48:29,880 --> 00:48:31,240
Speaker 3: Have you so clever?

873
00:48:32,760 --> 00:48:36,480
Speaker 2: But you do that ship to me all the time.

874
00:48:36,520 --> 00:48:38,800
Speaker 1: I never mock your fucking material.

875
00:48:42,600 --> 00:48:43,720
Speaker 3: Are you kidding?

876
00:48:44,719 --> 00:48:44,960
Speaker 1: Are you?

877
00:48:45,080 --> 00:48:47,239
Speaker 2: All you do all day is want me to make

878
00:48:47,280 --> 00:48:52,959
Speaker 2: fun of me. That's all you do.

879
00:48:53,400 --> 00:49:00,920
Speaker 1: All you fucking do. Yeah, all right, tell them what

880
00:49:00,920 --> 00:49:02,040
Speaker 1: did you do in Rhode Island?

881
00:49:02,280 --> 00:49:07,160
Speaker 2: I was part of the special secret project motion picture.

882
00:49:07,480 --> 00:49:12,399
Speaker 1: I wish what what part of Rhode Island?

883
00:49:12,800 --> 00:49:14,400
Speaker 2: I was all over the place.

884
00:49:14,160 --> 00:49:16,839
Speaker 1: Seriously all over. It doesn't take long.

885
00:49:16,960 --> 00:49:20,880
Speaker 2: Like I was driving all I felt like you.

886
00:49:20,760 --> 00:49:22,200
Speaker 1: Because I was driving all around.

887
00:49:22,239 --> 00:49:23,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was driving all around.

888
00:49:24,719 --> 00:49:27,080
Speaker 1: Hoke. I was to call you Hoke and Ship because

889
00:49:27,080 --> 00:49:29,440
Speaker 1: you were behind the wheel of the car driving this daisy.

890
00:49:29,560 --> 00:49:32,759
Speaker 1: They didn't, but I'm supposed to drive you wig.

891
00:49:39,160 --> 00:49:40,080
Speaker 2: I was in Providence.

892
00:49:40,120 --> 00:49:44,480
Speaker 1: I was in Newport, Providence World Newport. Oh that's where

893
00:49:44,520 --> 00:49:45,400
Speaker 1: I got the big houses.

894
00:49:45,640 --> 00:49:47,160
Speaker 2: Yes, the mansions if you will.

895
00:49:47,320 --> 00:49:49,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, my brother used to fuck with that when I

896
00:49:49,360 --> 00:49:51,799
Speaker 1: was a kid, Like he went there. Yeah, my mother

897
00:49:51,880 --> 00:49:54,120
Speaker 1: still talks about it to this day. My sister's moving

898
00:49:54,120 --> 00:49:57,120
Speaker 1: to Providence. Yeah, only fan or only listener, the person

899
00:49:57,120 --> 00:49:57,919
Speaker 1: we do those whole fun.

900
00:49:58,280 --> 00:49:59,680
Speaker 2: The only person listening right now.

901
00:49:59,520 --> 00:50:03,200
Speaker 1: Truly shout out to my sister Virginia and her husband

902
00:50:03,360 --> 00:50:09,279
Speaker 1: Eric and Sabine, her daughter, are moving to Providence. That

903
00:50:09,360 --> 00:50:11,239
Speaker 1: they looked all around that they used to live over

904
00:50:11,320 --> 00:50:14,239
Speaker 1: in Europe and one on Vienna, so they're coming back.

905
00:50:14,280 --> 00:50:16,920
Speaker 1: They looked at six different seven different cities, and they

906
00:50:16,920 --> 00:50:19,839
Speaker 1: were like, we're going to Providence. So next time you.

907
00:50:19,840 --> 00:50:21,800
Speaker 2: Go back, I will see that.

908
00:50:22,880 --> 00:50:25,520
Speaker 1: I would you go back to Providence? Sure?

909
00:50:26,040 --> 00:50:29,000
Speaker 2: I had so much good food you wouldn't believe.

910
00:50:29,400 --> 00:50:32,879
Speaker 1: Seriously, Oh my god, Now is it vegan food that's

911
00:50:32,920 --> 00:50:35,120
Speaker 1: like real vegetables and ship would I've hated it? No?

912
00:50:35,239 --> 00:50:38,120
Speaker 2: You would have actually loved the food that I had.

913
00:50:38,200 --> 00:50:43,920
Speaker 2: I had like fried chicken, mashed potatoes, gravy like she

914
00:50:44,280 --> 00:50:47,760
Speaker 2: like that pastas of all kinds.

915
00:50:47,600 --> 00:50:49,160
Speaker 1: None of them includes vegetables.

916
00:50:49,239 --> 00:50:51,759
Speaker 2: No, and then no vegetable. It was, oh my god,

917
00:50:51,760 --> 00:50:55,000
Speaker 2: it was so good. Onion rings, br bogos.

918
00:50:55,080 --> 00:50:57,319
Speaker 1: How many days were you there? Goos? How many days

919
00:50:57,320 --> 00:50:59,120
Speaker 1: were you there? How was the bogo tonight?

920
00:51:00,040 --> 00:51:03,760
Speaker 2: It's extremely good. My dad made me some bogos for dinner.

921
00:51:04,160 --> 00:51:06,919
Speaker 1: What's how many days are you there for? How many

922
00:51:06,920 --> 00:51:09,279
Speaker 1: meals did you have? Uh?

923
00:51:09,400 --> 00:51:14,560
Speaker 2: Well, we were there for two full days and we

924
00:51:14,760 --> 00:51:20,080
Speaker 2: got there on Thursday night, had a meal, then the

925
00:51:20,120 --> 00:51:25,399
Speaker 2: next two days had three meals a day, as one does,

926
00:51:25,640 --> 00:51:31,600
Speaker 2: I guess, so seven's we hit seven different spots, seven

927
00:51:31,800 --> 00:51:33,320
Speaker 2: different spots.

928
00:51:33,120 --> 00:51:36,200
Speaker 1: Different vegan joints. Yes, and do you have to pay

929
00:51:36,360 --> 00:51:36,920
Speaker 1: at everyone?

930
00:51:37,040 --> 00:51:39,799
Speaker 2: No, come in, didn't have to pay a single.

931
00:51:39,560 --> 00:51:41,120
Speaker 1: One because you're doing a thing.

932
00:51:41,560 --> 00:51:42,279
Speaker 2: We're doing a thing.

933
00:51:42,360 --> 00:51:45,879
Speaker 1: We ate here and what good you should come here

934
00:51:46,040 --> 00:51:50,600
Speaker 1: to the end that kind of thing. Yes, that's a

935
00:51:50,960 --> 00:51:52,120
Speaker 1: good racket right there.

936
00:51:52,280 --> 00:51:57,560
Speaker 2: It was pretty cool there, just eating your way around.

937
00:51:57,680 --> 00:52:00,279
Speaker 1: It's a grown up trick or treat. It literally was

938
00:52:00,680 --> 00:52:01,840
Speaker 1: like fucking trick.

939
00:52:01,880 --> 00:52:04,720
Speaker 2: Except I was like, oh my god.

940
00:52:07,719 --> 00:52:10,319
Speaker 3: Food was good, but too much of it.

941
00:52:11,040 --> 00:52:14,960
Speaker 1: I remember once this is back in the non vegan days.

942
00:52:14,719 --> 00:52:15,440
Speaker 2: Steak tartar.

943
00:52:16,320 --> 00:52:20,000
Speaker 1: Never mind that, but yes, when I went. I was

944
00:52:20,040 --> 00:52:22,399
Speaker 1: working for the Tonight Show, me and Andy mccalfish doing

945
00:52:22,400 --> 00:52:25,640
Speaker 1: bits for the Tonight Show. We went to Philadelphia or

946
00:52:25,840 --> 00:52:30,239
Speaker 1: as you used to call it, Ciliadelphia, and we did

947
00:52:30,320 --> 00:52:35,279
Speaker 1: a cheese steak a cheese steak run. Oh and so

948
00:52:35,360 --> 00:52:37,880
Speaker 1: we went to eight different cheese steak joints.

949
00:52:38,000 --> 00:52:38,960
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I had.

950
00:52:39,080 --> 00:52:41,480
Speaker 1: I ate a cheese steak at each one, like a

951
00:52:41,480 --> 00:52:44,400
Speaker 1: whole cheese steak. Eight cheese steaks in two hours. I

952
00:52:44,440 --> 00:52:48,720
Speaker 1: was like, I kept it all down. It was amazing.

953
00:52:49,120 --> 00:52:52,080
Speaker 2: I had a lot of bread steak egg rolls.

954
00:52:53,040 --> 00:52:53,279
Speaker 1: Oh.

955
00:52:54,000 --> 00:52:55,240
Speaker 2: It was fan.

956
00:52:55,800 --> 00:52:58,400
Speaker 1: They did that in Newport in Rhode Island.

957
00:52:58,239 --> 00:53:02,480
Speaker 2: In Rhode Island, in Providence. It was fantastic.

958
00:53:03,000 --> 00:53:07,520
Speaker 1: Did here I was in where I just was which

959
00:53:07,560 --> 00:53:09,719
Speaker 1: I can't divulge just yet, but it was down in

960
00:53:09,760 --> 00:53:10,200
Speaker 1: the south.

961
00:53:10,640 --> 00:53:11,520
Speaker 2: Was there vegan food?

962
00:53:12,320 --> 00:53:16,200
Speaker 1: Shockingly yes? Wow, oh bro there was like Whole Foods.

963
00:53:16,200 --> 00:53:19,560
Speaker 1: There was a Sprouts. This place is civilized. They did

964
00:53:19,640 --> 00:53:21,640
Speaker 1: have a restaurant called the Slutty Vecan.

965
00:53:22,960 --> 00:53:24,279
Speaker 2: They have a Slutty Vegan there.

966
00:53:24,360 --> 00:53:26,480
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's the same, but it's called

967
00:53:26,680 --> 00:53:32,520
Speaker 1: the Slutty Vegan. They have a a housemade patty not

968
00:53:32,680 --> 00:53:33,319
Speaker 1: beyond or.

969
00:53:33,360 --> 00:53:36,680
Speaker 2: I would have to guess it's the same, because that's

970
00:53:36,760 --> 00:53:41,400
Speaker 2: like a trademark situation. Oh my gosh, it's crazy.

971
00:53:41,719 --> 00:53:45,120
Speaker 1: They they but they had a lot of a lot

972
00:53:45,120 --> 00:53:48,400
Speaker 1: of things there. Okay, but wait, why was I talking

973
00:53:48,400 --> 00:53:48,839
Speaker 1: about this?

974
00:53:49,640 --> 00:53:50,720
Speaker 2: We love vegan food.

975
00:53:50,880 --> 00:53:58,360
Speaker 1: I know, no, but there was a specific reason in

976
00:53:58,480 --> 00:54:02,200
Speaker 1: the place I went. You went to a place there,

977
00:54:02,200 --> 00:54:05,960
Speaker 1: and then you did it, and then you and then

978
00:54:06,000 --> 00:54:13,280
Speaker 1: you can no, there was something fucking about it about

979
00:54:13,280 --> 00:54:17,840
Speaker 1: the place. I wanted to fuck fuck me if I

980
00:54:17,880 --> 00:54:18,640
Speaker 1: could remember.

981
00:54:20,520 --> 00:54:21,400
Speaker 2: You can't remember.

982
00:54:22,560 --> 00:54:25,600
Speaker 1: I mean here, you should remember. You should be able

983
00:54:25,600 --> 00:54:26,799
Speaker 1: to pull that up right away and be like, oh,

984
00:54:26,800 --> 00:54:27,440
Speaker 1: we were talking about that?

985
00:54:27,760 --> 00:54:30,880
Speaker 2: Are you kidding me? My memory is worse than yours.

986
00:54:30,920 --> 00:54:34,400
Speaker 2: Between the weed and the antidepresents and ain't too good

987
00:54:34,480 --> 00:54:34,799
Speaker 2: up there.

988
00:54:34,880 --> 00:54:36,680
Speaker 1: We need a third We need mom to sit here

989
00:54:36,760 --> 00:54:38,320
Speaker 1: so she could throw out ship and be like, you

990
00:54:38,360 --> 00:54:41,080
Speaker 1: were talking about this, that's true, someone to take notes.

991
00:54:41,160 --> 00:54:43,719
Speaker 1: But Mom would be like, like, Jim, what were we

992
00:54:43,760 --> 00:54:45,480
Speaker 1: talking about? She would be like, not me.

993
00:54:46,160 --> 00:54:52,720
Speaker 2: So true, so true. Actually I wish you were talking

994
00:54:52,800 --> 00:54:54,440
Speaker 2: about me a little more about me.

995
00:54:55,640 --> 00:54:59,200
Speaker 1: Oh my god, yeah, man, it.

996
00:54:59,239 --> 00:55:01,560
Speaker 2: Was sorry, I keep coughing.

997
00:55:03,080 --> 00:55:07,000
Speaker 1: God, why did I fucking bring up the police. I

998
00:55:07,040 --> 00:55:07,480
Speaker 1: don't know.

999
00:55:07,760 --> 00:55:08,799
Speaker 2: I can't read your mind.

1000
00:55:10,760 --> 00:55:12,200
Speaker 1: It wasn't the food.

1001
00:55:13,200 --> 00:55:14,240
Speaker 2: Did you buy a thing.

1002
00:55:16,400 --> 00:55:18,399
Speaker 1: You do around me with like did that phone?

1003
00:55:20,600 --> 00:55:21,000
Speaker 2: Sorry?

1004
00:55:21,239 --> 00:55:24,120
Speaker 1: That like a fucking Rhode Island. Rhode Islands got food?

1005
00:55:24,440 --> 00:55:26,840
Speaker 2: Remember how you were like, you mock me and I

1006
00:55:26,840 --> 00:55:27,640
Speaker 2: don't mock you.

1007
00:55:28,640 --> 00:55:30,200
Speaker 1: I don't know that's mocking.

1008
00:55:30,480 --> 00:55:36,520
Speaker 2: Oh mocking god, bruh, How the hell would I know?

1009
00:55:37,400 --> 00:55:39,200
Speaker 1: What were we talking about before that?

1010
00:55:39,840 --> 00:55:42,799
Speaker 2: We were talking about your trip and then my trip.

1011
00:55:42,760 --> 00:55:46,000
Speaker 1: And then your trip, and then you said something and

1012
00:55:46,040 --> 00:55:46,799
Speaker 1: then I was like.

1013
00:55:47,800 --> 00:55:49,520
Speaker 2: Philly cheese steak egg rolls.

1014
00:55:49,719 --> 00:55:53,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, hold on all right, stay there, Philly cheese stake rolls.

1015
00:55:53,480 --> 00:55:55,160
Speaker 2: You went on that food tour with Andy?

1016
00:55:56,760 --> 00:55:59,640
Speaker 1: Yeah? And you then you well, I talked about the

1017
00:55:59,719 --> 00:56:02,759
Speaker 1: cheese and then he were like, bro, I had Billy

1018
00:56:02,880 --> 00:56:04,279
Speaker 1: cheese take egg rolls.

1019
00:56:04,440 --> 00:56:18,480
Speaker 6: And I was like, yep, it's gone. It's lost in.

1020
00:56:18,440 --> 00:56:20,560
Speaker 1: The imagine if it was like, oh, this is where

1021
00:56:20,560 --> 00:56:22,640
Speaker 1: I finally tell her where I buried her inheritance.

1022
00:56:23,600 --> 00:56:24,800
Speaker 2: Fucking remember.

1023
00:56:25,960 --> 00:56:28,080
Speaker 1: I remember, did you see the case of that motherfucking

1024
00:56:28,120 --> 00:56:30,840
Speaker 1: dude who like had a bunch of bitcoin on a

1025
00:56:30,960 --> 00:56:35,279
Speaker 1: drive and then hissed it out by accident, dude, and

1026
00:56:35,320 --> 00:56:38,160
Speaker 1: then was like trying to find it. And first he

1027
00:56:38,239 --> 00:56:40,560
Speaker 1: was trying to find it, then he was trying to

1028
00:56:40,600 --> 00:56:43,640
Speaker 1: open it, have it opened remotely, and the courts were like, no,

1029
00:56:43,920 --> 00:56:46,040
Speaker 1: that that big. Unless you can find the drive, that

1030
00:56:46,040 --> 00:56:48,680
Speaker 1: shit is lost. And he kind of found like a

1031
00:56:48,719 --> 00:56:51,640
Speaker 1: place where it might be, this landfill because now he's

1032
00:56:51,640 --> 00:56:54,239
Speaker 1: got a bunch of investors together because he's trying it.

1033
00:56:54,280 --> 00:56:56,080
Speaker 1: He's trying to get investors together because he wants to

1034
00:56:56,080 --> 00:56:58,480
Speaker 1: buy the entire landfill so he can find it because

1035
00:56:58,560 --> 00:57:00,680
Speaker 1: it's seven hundred and sixty million dollars.

1036
00:57:01,200 --> 00:57:05,160
Speaker 2: Are you unfamiliar with the fact that Austin did an

1037
00:57:05,239 --> 00:57:09,480
Speaker 2: episode of nine to one one where he played got

1038
00:57:10,600 --> 00:57:12,560
Speaker 2: you lost a hard drive?

1039
00:57:12,840 --> 00:57:18,720
Speaker 1: With millions of crypto Ronald keep telling your story ship

1040
00:57:18,880 --> 00:57:23,080
Speaker 1: you read it online? Austin lived nine one one on

1041
00:57:23,240 --> 00:57:26,880
Speaker 1: Gay right. I keep hearing who I saw Ernie this weekend?

1042
00:57:27,640 --> 00:57:31,320
Speaker 1: It's Podcastle Keeper Ernie O'Donnell And he was like, man

1043
00:57:31,440 --> 00:57:34,200
Speaker 1: fucking Austin blowing up right, And I was like, wait

1044
00:57:34,240 --> 00:57:35,840
Speaker 1: a minute, He's like, I see him in commercials all

1045
00:57:35,880 --> 00:57:37,400
Speaker 1: the time. I was like, do you mean you see

1046
00:57:37,440 --> 00:57:39,240
Speaker 1: him in the same two commercials all the time. Ye

1047
00:57:39,440 --> 00:57:43,080
Speaker 1: still no, but it's their high rotation. Is he even

1048
00:57:43,120 --> 00:57:45,880
Speaker 1: more than two commercials? Is he?

1049
00:57:46,240 --> 00:57:46,560
Speaker 2: Yes?

1050
00:57:47,480 --> 00:57:48,680
Speaker 1: So the Hulk one?

1051
00:57:49,200 --> 00:57:51,560
Speaker 2: Oh, actually he's three.

1052
00:57:51,200 --> 00:57:56,640
Speaker 1: Coming Pizza Little Caesars. Yeah, I mean, if it was,

1053
00:57:59,120 --> 00:58:03,000
Speaker 1: I've said that out loud. Fucking I think I think

1054
00:58:03,000 --> 00:58:05,080
Speaker 1: I'm battle on this weekend. I was talking. You talked

1055
00:58:05,120 --> 00:58:08,960
Speaker 1: about Austin's, Yeah, because that was because Ralph brought him up.

1056
00:58:09,040 --> 00:58:12,400
Speaker 1: Ralphs like Austin's everywhere these days.

1057
00:58:10,960 --> 00:58:14,240
Speaker 2: Really everybody's talking about me.

1058
00:58:14,800 --> 00:58:17,280
Speaker 1: I sat that boy down, said you marry my daughter

1059
00:58:17,400 --> 00:58:21,200
Speaker 1: right now. Pizza, pizza, pizza money, and ship have a

1060
00:58:21,200 --> 00:58:24,720
Speaker 1: little Caesar's money. And then I lobbied for him to

1061
00:58:24,760 --> 00:58:28,520
Speaker 1: become a live action Little Caesar looks like him, the

1062
00:58:28,560 --> 00:58:31,840
Speaker 1: fuzzy hair and fucking the heighth thing, all these pizza

1063
00:58:31,880 --> 00:58:40,400
Speaker 1: pizza you guys should do that for Halloween. He could

1064
00:58:40,440 --> 00:58:42,760
Speaker 1: be the pizza pizza guy and you could be up pizza.

1065
00:58:43,680 --> 00:58:46,600
Speaker 1: That's kind of smart, I'm saying. And then people would

1066
00:58:46,640 --> 00:58:53,240
Speaker 1: be like, little Caesar, you're gonna eat that pizza? What

1067
00:58:53,320 --> 00:58:55,360
Speaker 1: if you look around to make sure I'm not there

1068
00:58:55,400 --> 00:58:58,040
Speaker 1: and be like, damn eat that pizza. And that's when

1069
00:58:58,040 --> 00:58:58,680
Speaker 1: I walk in the room.

1070
00:58:58,680 --> 00:59:05,600
Speaker 2: He's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, all right, what

1071
00:59:05,640 --> 00:59:08,000
Speaker 2: if he gets in trouble? Who Austin?

1072
00:59:08,120 --> 00:59:14,720
Speaker 1: You mean pregnant? Nozzizzad he lost it? And Ship No.

1073
00:59:15,200 --> 00:59:17,080
Speaker 1: He comes home one night and he was just like, Hey,

1074
00:59:17,120 --> 00:59:19,480
Speaker 1: we're going to offer me a fucking deal. But you're

1075
00:59:19,520 --> 00:59:24,120
Speaker 1: a loud mouth old man. I mean, first they have

1076
00:59:24,120 --> 00:59:25,400
Speaker 1: to listen to beardless stick with me.

1077
00:59:26,280 --> 00:59:27,200
Speaker 2: Good luck, guys.

1078
00:59:28,200 --> 00:59:31,360
Speaker 1: Nobody gonna hear you know who knows now you're and

1079
00:59:31,440 --> 00:59:36,280
Speaker 1: Virginian mamaly. That's not true.

1080
00:59:36,280 --> 00:59:36,480
Speaker 3: Man.

1081
00:59:36,640 --> 00:59:38,000
Speaker 1: When I was out there in the world, A heard

1082
00:59:38,040 --> 00:59:40,080
Speaker 1: I met some beardless stick with Me listeners. I told

1083
00:59:40,080 --> 00:59:42,720
Speaker 1: you I saw dick lid shirts in the audience and

1084
00:59:42,760 --> 00:59:44,680
Speaker 1: Ship and none. The motherfucker was like, picture.

1085
00:59:44,440 --> 00:59:46,720
Speaker 2: Hair ticklet's out in the wild happening.

1086
00:59:46,840 --> 00:59:50,720
Speaker 1: That's why when we do that live show, some people

1087
00:59:50,800 --> 00:59:53,520
Speaker 1: might travel. Man. Chris Davis has been known to jump

1088
00:59:53,520 --> 00:59:54,640
Speaker 1: on a plane to go to I.

1089
00:59:54,560 --> 00:59:57,840
Speaker 2: Was gonna say, Chris Davis and Hardy might come come through.

1090
00:59:58,360 --> 01:00:00,680
Speaker 1: I mean that'd be cross country track because they live

1091
01:00:00,680 --> 01:00:04,800
Speaker 1: in Massachusetts. I mean you could definitely, I mean not definitely,

1092
01:00:04,840 --> 01:00:06,480
Speaker 1: but I bet you they would go to the Jersey

1093
01:00:06,560 --> 01:00:11,160
Speaker 1: show for sure, but you know, I think that could

1094
01:00:11,160 --> 01:00:13,720
Speaker 1: be exciting. Would you play music at the show? Would

1095
01:00:13,720 --> 01:00:19,400
Speaker 1: you close out with? Probably not, he said there strung

1096
01:00:19,520 --> 01:00:33,280
Speaker 1: Maybe people shoot any fish? Fish got no fee what

1097
01:00:36,720 --> 01:00:37,640
Speaker 1: you're sucking it up?

1098
01:00:38,240 --> 01:00:39,640
Speaker 3: Shot shot.

1099
01:00:40,960 --> 01:00:42,240
Speaker 1: That come out of stage.

1100
01:00:45,520 --> 01:00:47,560
Speaker 2: And then you're like, you go behind the curtain again.

1101
01:00:48,360 --> 01:00:53,800
Speaker 1: Shoot fish because he's sucking up again.

1102
01:00:54,880 --> 01:00:55,560
Speaker 3: We heard that.

1103
01:00:56,200 --> 01:00:58,960
Speaker 1: Stop playing. We heard that and it's hurtful.

1104
01:01:00,080 --> 01:01:02,680
Speaker 2: I like how you walk like I come out.

1105
01:01:02,640 --> 01:01:07,160
Speaker 1: Like that, And now we're all just gonna sit here

1106
01:01:07,320 --> 01:01:11,040
Speaker 1: until we're polite to my daughter, and she covers Nirvana.

1107
01:01:11,680 --> 01:01:13,160
Speaker 2: With some tweaked lyrics.

1108
01:01:14,520 --> 01:01:19,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's getting them wrong, but like she's just trying.

1109
01:01:19,280 --> 01:01:20,440
Speaker 6: Okay, she's trying.

1110
01:01:20,480 --> 01:01:25,400
Speaker 1: She just wants entertained so badly. I trying to entertain you.

1111
01:01:25,560 --> 01:01:33,919
Speaker 2: Please let her come up. I told her, it makes

1112
01:01:33,960 --> 01:01:35,120
Speaker 2: you feel like a god.

1113
01:01:35,400 --> 01:01:35,960
Speaker 3: Please.

1114
01:01:44,000 --> 01:01:51,080
Speaker 5: It's not okay because they got all the bee.

1115
01:01:51,880 --> 01:01:55,040
Speaker 1: Sure, I'm pretty sure one of two things happening after

1116
01:01:55,080 --> 01:01:58,680
Speaker 1: this Bugget show. She's quitting the business and he's probably

1117
01:01:58,680 --> 01:01:59,720
Speaker 1: going back in the movie.

1118
01:02:01,400 --> 01:02:02,120
Speaker 2: I'm coming with.

1119
01:02:06,120 --> 01:02:07,960
Speaker 3: What the cover is gone.

1120
01:02:10,160 --> 01:02:12,080
Speaker 2: My mouth it's from smiling.

1121
01:02:14,320 --> 01:02:17,200
Speaker 1: Smile. You're not up there even doing it. You're like,

1122
01:02:18,040 --> 01:02:19,040
Speaker 1: it's okay.

1123
01:02:20,840 --> 01:02:24,000
Speaker 2: No, it's not okay in my version. It's not okay

1124
01:02:25,080 --> 01:02:25,880
Speaker 2: in my version.

1125
01:02:26,440 --> 01:02:33,840
Speaker 1: He's not okaying, Like she's going to too hard dig

1126
01:02:34,400 --> 01:02:47,080
Speaker 1: and fee you. Hey, that's me come back like you did.

1127
01:02:47,760 --> 01:02:57,120
Speaker 2: You just did in the audience, crab shuffle up, Grab.

1128
01:02:56,880 --> 01:02:57,360
Speaker 4: Shut.

1129
01:02:59,320 --> 01:03:03,520
Speaker 2: It again, you crabs.

1130
01:03:03,560 --> 01:03:05,479
Speaker 1: Pretty nice to try.

1131
01:03:06,840 --> 01:03:17,080
Speaker 3: She make it hard.

1132
01:03:17,200 --> 01:03:21,480
Speaker 1: The crops really got me another thing. T shirts still on. So,

1133
01:03:26,240 --> 01:03:29,240
Speaker 1: oh my god, oh my god.

1134
01:03:29,600 --> 01:03:31,040
Speaker 2: The crab shovel.

1135
01:03:31,440 --> 01:03:35,320
Speaker 1: There it is, kids, there's beardless this week.

1136
01:03:36,080 --> 01:03:38,600
Speaker 2: You didn't need a minute to calm down from that one.

1137
01:03:39,960 --> 01:03:41,800
Speaker 1: I thank you Grab. That's how you have to enter

1138
01:03:41,840 --> 01:03:43,840
Speaker 1: stage when you go perform live. For the first time,

1139
01:03:48,600 --> 01:03:59,520
Speaker 1: I saw a ghost h for beardless stick. This's me.

1140
01:04:00,200 --> 01:04:02,320
Speaker 1: I'm Krabby Kevin Smith and I.

1141
01:04:02,360 --> 01:04:04,400
Speaker 2: Am grabs a lot, Harley.

1142
01:04:05,240 --> 01:04:09,160
Speaker 1: Go have a beardless dickless day.

1143
01:04:18,560 --> 01:04:23,080
Speaker 7: This has been a podcast production s podcast podcast using

1144
01:04:23,120 --> 01:04:29,960
Speaker 7: our mouths on you since two thousand and seven. Hey, kids,

1145
01:04:29,960 --> 01:04:31,800
Speaker 7: did you like what you just heard? Well, guess what.

1146
01:04:31,960 --> 01:04:35,480
Speaker 7: We've got tons more, man thousands of hours of podcasts

1147
01:04:35,520 --> 01:04:38,840
Speaker 7: waiting for you at that Kevinsmith Club dot com.

1148
01:04:38,880 --> 01:04:39,919
Speaker 1: Go sign up now.