Hello everyone and welcome to another fantastic episode of Bikinis After Babies.
I am one of your hosts Mandy Rashaun here from Kansas City where it is rainy and
gloomy and cozy with, I know, right?
I felt like coming into it with the weather just because it has been really
hot here in Kansas City and I'm not complaining the.
to tell us what's happening on the roads today.
work is terrible, you know, from the bedroom to my office.
I actually commute to the gym though.
So like I do that Monday through Friday and I have to deal with that.
But thank you for joining us everybody.
We have a really good, yeah, we have a great episode.
Of course I'm Mandi Rashawn here with the beautiful blonde Gillian
Hello everybody, if you're watching from home.
Maybe you can be the judge of that, but thank you for listening in and we are so
happy to be back.
We hope that you loved our prior episode with Angelica.
I can't lie.
I am still just like on cloud nine from having, my God.
Like I listened to it like, and I don't listen to every episode of hours back.
Like some of them I do.
but that one I listened to like twice afterwards and it was just the things that
she.
shared like about her journey and everything it was like and the timing of
it because we interviewed her like three days before we competed.
Mm -hmm.
Yeah, so it was just majestical.
It really was and I have really not come down from cloud nine really since then.
So yeah.
went really, really fast after it because on the editing side of it.
I was like a nervous wreck and I don't even I don't think I even told you about
that but it's just being on the studio side of it and having to edit and having
to like re -listen to everything over and over making sure everything gets brought
over to all the platforms correctly I was just like you would have thought it was
like my very first time ever doing it because I was so nervous I was like
nothing can happen to this like this is
Yeah, totally.
Yeah.
I'm like, we're not going to get this opportunity again.
Like she won't like do it over.
So like I was afraid that like, you know, something technical would happen, but it
didn't.
It was, it was awesome.
So yeah.
So I'm excited.
She really is.
She's amazing.
So yeah.
Well, how are you doing, girly?
What's new in your world?
Other than the weather.
What is new?
I just got done expediting a show a natural show out in Iowa Des Moines, Iowa.
It was great Very easy commute.
It's only about two and a half hours away from Kansas City And it was the last
spring show of the season and then we kind of take a break until the August show in
st.
Charles So it was good though, you know, it was it was like, you know, we get a
break in the season It's not over obviously, but like you have the spring
like goes nuts, right?
I'm competing traveling our athletes are
and then now it's like a little summer break so it's nice it's been very very
relaxing i'll say that so it's peaceful what about you
well, you know, just
Yeah, just navigating the time between shows, which four weeks feels like an
eternity and not for the reason that you would think.
Like, I'm not like, I'm dying.
Like, I want to eat.
I'm tired.
It's just a long time to kind of wait, especially when your feedback is just
small baby things.
And, you know, like normally I'm like, I need every minute of that time to like get
more shredded.
And of course, you can always come in a little bit more conditioned.
know that I never get the comment that I'm too conditioned.
It was just that your conditioning is just right, which I'm like, okay.
Like it's great, but like you know just the counting down the days and it feels
like time is going so slow.
As busy as we are, it's still just like, God is it only Wednesday?
Like it really just feels like time's going slow.
So it's good, you know?
I'm just trying to just stay in the right mind frame and and yeah.
tick the boxes before I leave.
thank you.
as -
for as in my world, everything's slowing down a little bit and then I'm done
competing for this season.
So I'm transitioning into my off season that you are doing like the opposite right
now, almost in every way.
I'm still driving my kid around, but it's up the street and back.
It's so small and it's so short lived.
Whereas you're driving all your kids around everywhere all the time, nonstop in
the thick of it, having, you know, like you're like the polar opposite of me.
now so I just have to commend you because every time we talk on you know all our
different platforms you have your shit together.
Yeah, it's just, you know, I think it's not new.
So it isn't like, like overly challenging.
And I really got myself in a really good place, like going into like summer.
I think it would be different if I didn't feel like I was ready or, you know, I was
nervous.
Like I've been in prior, perhaps I've been a hot frickin mess and I'm no fun to be
around, but this year has been totally different.
And of course, I'm used to, you know, navigating summers with
kids, but my son did get a car yesterday, so I'll have one.
And he's busy because he's a varsity wrestler and he wrestles for like a club
team as well.
So he's, I'm running him all over the place all the time, so one one less drive
around.
But it's not new, like I actually just had to put my computer on Do Not Disturb
because I've got like, can Chloe come for a playdate?
Can Ellie come and do this?
Brooklyn is here and I'm like, I can't right now I'm working!
Like I have to, people like, I don't think people forget that I work, but like you
know.
I'm kind of working all the time like I was posing the other night at like 830
which isn't ideal I was so tired, but I was just like, you know what girl you got
to do it You got to do it no matter when it is.
It's important and so I was proud of myself for doing that because it was all
it was like the last thing I wanted to do is like after all your meals and it's late
and you're stiff and tired you want to go to bed and it's like I'm gonna go work on
posing in my basement So it's it's fine.
I'm just keeping busy is my secret to staying on track because I don't have time
think about food.
I just don't.
And I can't, like, I can't procrastinate workouts.
I can't, because there's no time to make it up.
If I don't do it when I'm supposed to do it, it doesn't happen.
So I just gotta get it done.
Can't think about it.
So, so yeah, that's it.
Yeah, so well, and sort of in the spirit of where you're at in your journey, today
we are going to talk about slaying your off season.
And maybe you'd like to share some updates of like what you're doing post show and
what your thoughts and plans are.
Because I've had a little time for the dust to settle after your show.
As for now, what are we like two weeks since we both competed?
It's two weeks, just under two weeks.
And I've been just enjoying.
weekend.
Yeah.
the food porn that you've been sending me and that I've seen on your Facebook too,
you know, just like dates and stuff.
So why don't you share how that's been going.
it's been good.
So...
After I competed in Omaha, like I knew I was gonna go into an off season.
I knew because, you know, like I've shared previously, my back flared up for those
new listeners.
I had a herniated disc back in 2022.
Was able to heal it with a lot of other, you know, chiropractor, massage, all sorts
of stuff, exercise, mobility exercise.
And now it healed and it allowed me to push myself, train really hard, have a
really great, you know, prep, a really long prep.
I started my prep in September.
and you know I used all of 2023 to basically just lift heavy and eat food and
travel and spend time with family so going into about like four or five weeks going
into Omaha I knew I was like okay my body's worn out I'm noticing things it's
harder for me to like lose weight
I was very stagnant, very sore, I was in a lot of pain, so I knew I was gonna go into
an off season, so I communicated that with my coach off the bat.
So I wanted to let her know that this is what was gonna happen, and she was 100 %
on board.
Like there was no argument.
So going into that, you know, post show, going into reverse, it's been fantastic.
I have...
navigated it better than I ever have.
I feel like after every single show, I get better at it.
I feel like it's never, it will never be perfect.
But knowing that we were going to talk about reverse dieting today, I kind of
went down like a little, not rabbit hole, but like, what was my first show like post
show?
my gosh.
Okay, so I'll put, I'll put a pin in that.
got us to put up, let's put a pin in it and we're going to come back to that.
Yeah.
Circle on back.
If we can frickin remember, because I can, you'll remember you have to be the brain
now.
You have to be the brain.
Remember we talked about that.
Like if we're both prepping at the same time, like how, you know, disastrous that
could be.
But now you have brain power.
So, okay, you could be my brain.
I have my, my brain has the extra calories and the extra energy to hold the load for
us, okay?
So, I'm here for you, I got you.
So, but no, knowing that I was gonna go into it, I kind of already had a plan.
I already, I knew what a reverse diet was kind of supposed to look like and how it
was supposed to kind of happen, especially as a coach doing it before.
So, you know, after show, I have specific rules and I really, I'd like to speak
heavily about this, especially for new competitors, season competitors.
When you are walking on stage and you just worked so hard, rather it be 16 weeks, two
years, 18 weeks, 24 weeks, whatever it may be, weight loss challenge that you, you
know, transformation, stockpiling treats in your room or, or bringing stuff with
you.
is a recipe for disaster no matter what excuse you tell yourself.
So knowing that this was my last show of this season, I knew that after that I
needed to have, you know, a lot of water, a lot of electrolytes.
I grabbed a few like treats that some girls were handing out.
I put them in my bag.
I knew I wasn't gonna eat them, but I was gonna be respectful and, you know, say,
thank you.
Like, I really appreciate it.
Never do I have treats in my room.
And then,
Going into like my first week into off season, I started, I communicate with my
coach, my dinner plans that my husband had for me.
But even then, I stayed true to myself.
I didn't go out and splurge.
I didn't go out and eat things that aren't agreeable with me.
I'm not gonna go out and eat nachos and pizza and like a whole bunch of cookies
and cakes and cupcakes.
And you know, I'm not gonna eat food from a gas station.
I'm not gonna eat things just because I can.
It's...
It's bad for you and it's not part of who I am.
So, you know, I...
always know that because I feel like you can only say that because you've had an
experience where it didn't go well and
Yes.
On a podcast I listened to earlier this week, they said like pretty much every
competitor will screw up their first reverse because you just don't know what
to expect.
You don't expect to struggle.
You really have never had the experience of doing something so intense and strict
before.
And, you know, there's a lot of emotions and everything.
So, so yeah, I think it's like that.
This is a great like a tip sheet, but I think that, you know, it does come from
having f'd up.
in the past, right?
Yeah, because you can you can contribute to this as well.
The word the words reverse dieting never was a thing up until like, I want to say
like 17 18 ish like that time frame, like 2017 or 18.
Because when you know, before then you walked on stage, you were done and you
celebrated and you ate like
dog shit like -huh cakes cupcakes
do have, you know, treats and stuff at shows, but yeah, I mean, it was like, we,
we had a big team at the time, guys and girls back then in 2015, 16, and we had a
table and it was covered everybody.
It was like a potluck of just tons and tons of food.
And then somewhere along the line and maybe newer experience, like less
experienced competitors can kind of say, you know, like that maybe they've always
seen people talk about reverse dieting, but I think it was the backlash of so.
people rebounding and maybe like thinking more about like the health of this sport?
Yes.
Yeah.
like men and women, we all got so sick.
It was terrible.
So my first time, my first time I didn't get sick.
So my first show 2016, I did two shows.
I did them relatively close together.
First one was like in August and the next one was like maybe like a month or two
later.
And I struggled just with that because nobody...
explained to you the fact that you deprived yourself of food, of certain
foods for, I think I did my first prep was like 30 weeks or something like that.
And then after that, it's like, let's celebrate.
Nobody mentally prepares you to not celebrate.
And in our culture, we're taught to celebrate with food.
And so,
to what that should look like.
Yeah.
Mm -hmm.
soon as I walked off stage, it was just no holds bar.
It was like, for one, I was on vacation because I was in California, I was in LA.
And so we just, I ate whatever I wanted.
And it was a little bit of literally everything.
I didn't get sick, but I definitely gained all, like I gained weight back.
I didn't have, you know, I didn't feel good.
I stepped right back on stage a couple, I think it was like a month or two later.
I didn't place at all, like nothing.
I was a hot mess.
And then after that, I gained everything back.
Cause same thing, I had no parameters.
I didn't know anything about food.
I had no knowledge of like what this was gonna do.
I just ate because it tasted good and it sounded good and it's what everybody did,
right?
Mm -hmm.
talking as much about like we did call it an off season.
We don't now we call it like an improvement season.
But back then, yeah, yeah, bulky and like an off season really like implies that
you're off.
Right.
And now I think there's more of like sort of an idea around like being an athlete
all the time.
And it's because we have so many amazing resources now.
We have, you know, podcasts and we have all these things like back when I first
started, you know, we didn't I didn't know what to talk to except for like,
at the gym and all they did was dirty bulk in the winter and then, you know, shred
down for a show and you did a show to lose weight.
Like, and that was like what we did.
So now it's way different.
There are so many resources, but people still struggle now.
So that's what I want to talk about today too, because I think there's a lot of
shame surrounding it.
And because, you know, it is, it's like, wow, man, back in the day, there was a lot
of reasons why you would struggle.
Like how come I'm struggling and I have all these resources and I have a coach
that gave me a plan and I have this laid out reverse.
How come I'm not false?
How come I can't stay motivated now that my show is done?
And that is normal.
Like that is completely normal.
You cannot shame yourself about that because everybody's going to struggle in
some way and some people are going to struggle more.
And it might be because they got into competing from a weight loss journey.
It's been a long journey and now the show's over and it's like, you know, you
get like a little post show blues.
If you just even take the food out of it, it's like,
you like had a baby and then you're like, the baby is like here now.
And like, you know, yeah, you're just kind of like you've you've been so focused on
this.
And now it's like, OK, well, I think I mean, I go in the gym, but I'm not like
I'm not four days out.
I'm not five weeks out.
Like, you know, even if you have goals, it's still really tough to stay motivated.
And you know what?
Some people get burnt out.
That's all part of it, too.
You know, so today I would just really want to like help people understand that
it's OK.
And, you know, if this is your first reverse and you're absolutely just it's
not going well and it's sucking, it won't be like this always.
And you'll find ways you're going to learn a lot about yourself, you know.
But I think that it starts with having a reverse, which we did not have back in the
day.
Like, I don't think I had a reverse diet from any coach I worked with until like,
you know, 2021.
Like we just didn't.
because I never had one.
I feel like even in 2018 when I went back to competing, it was more of a
conversation of like, what are you going to do?
The conversation was there, but it wasn't so adamant.
Now it's like...
you talk about it a couple weeks before you even go on stage, a week before you go
on stage, you talk about your plan, your mindset, where do you kind of see
yourself?
You know, especially if you're like, if you're going into peak week or even two
weeks out, you're, you know, you're super lean, you're super shredded.
So you can kind of gear like, okay, am I, am I competitive enough?
Do I need to build more?
And then like, you have that conversation.
Whereas like back then, you never did that.
You, the, like the conversation wouldn't exist.
No, a hundred percent.
And like I said too, like...
I think a lot of people do come into this from weight loss.
They have some success.
And I think, what if I compete?
But a lot of people come into this for eating disorders too.
And you talk to people all the time, like, I was a dancer.
I was a cheerleader.
I was a track athlete.
I wanted abs.
Some of that disordered eating and food relationship stuff, you might have not
thought about it in a long time.
And now you're 42 years old and you're competing.
And all of a sudden, you're binging.
post show and you're binging and you're freaking out and then, bodybuilding ruined
me.
No, it's the it's the stuff from the past.
And honestly, you can you can get through it and you can compete again because I am
recovered from binge eating.
And I really thought that I had no no way I would be able to continue to be.
And that is probably the secret.
Well, it's not a secret, but that's why I've been competing so long, because I did
have to take time to repair my relationship with food and.
you know, get through some stuff that I, you know, went through.
I mean, I was hospitalized for anorexia when I was 12.
So I'm 43.
So that's like 31 years.
So like more than half of my life.
I have had, you know, just too much knowledge about food and nutrition and
calories at a young age.
It turned that into my passion in my career.
And now I have a very healthy mindset.
I have three daughters and, you know, two sons, and I want to be a good role model
and talk to them in ways so that they have a healthy relationship with food.
But, you know, a lot of that just reared its ugly head when I first started
competing and I would just keep doing shows thinking that that was the answer
until I really found those very empty inside and I had to really work on that.
So that is why.
19 years later, I'm still competing because I had to go through some things
and I've learned a lot about myself.
And now I always say like my struggles help other people.
So got a little deep there, but.
it's good, like that's the relatability though.
And that is also another reason why we love doing this podcast, right?
Like I can't relate to it.
It is, and I love being a.
Yeah, like sharing our sharing like our experiences, even if it's raw and real,
like I never went through anything like that.
Mine, my relationship with food was definitely damaged, but mine was more of
the sense of emotional eating.
Like I was such an emotional eater and I never could understand how I would speak
to women or meet people and they'd be like, I'm, you know, I just am so sad or
whatever and I don't eat for days.
And I'm like, I'm the polar opposite.
And like, I always felt like something was wrong with me and I would always, I would
always regain my weight, like the way my genetics are and the way like my family.
and all the women in my family like I can see how I'm predisposed like I can see how
I'm supposed to be shaped I can see if I continue down this path like kind of the
shape I'm you know gonna obtain and like the way I may be and the health that I may
like put on myself like the health issues but I couldn't stop eating like if I was
sad if I was happy if I like I was just an emotional eater.
think that is so hard to go through except because you aren't a walking skeleton.
It's downplayed as an eating disorder, but it is so hard to go through and it is
disordered eating.
But I think that there's less sympathy and like less support unless you're like, you
know, over a toilet throwing up or yeah, yeah.
say that because I hear it all the time now like well when I'm just going through
this I just like to eat it's like that's not good because what you're doing yeah I
just binged yeah but it's like I just I just I just binge ate all these snacks
it's like okay like is that funny to you it's not funny it can be scary and
dangerous and like granted
If you're listening to this podcast and you're like 25 and you're like, it's not a
big deal to go out and binge.
Okay, well you can say that now maybe, but wait till you're 45 and you're at the
doctor's office and they're telling you you have like some type of ailment that
now you have to be on medication for and you can't eat the foods that you've been
eating because they're gonna cause like inflammation and like diarrhea and all
these issues.
And now like your whole life is upside down.
That's what like nobody talks about.
And it's just like, it's not okay.
It's scary.
It really, really is.
And that's.
too of how you feel the shame after a binging episode and, it's never gonna
happen again, except you know when you're going through it, like it's just waiting
for you.
And you can't fix it by doing another show.
But I, and we'll.
put this below in the show notes, there is a wonderful resource, Celeste, who does
the Confessions of a Bikini Pro podcast.
Thank God for this woman.
I mean, she's got so many resources.
And what I love about her methods is that she helps people continue to be a part of
this sport, which is really tough with disordered eating and body dysmorphia.
It's really tough because, of course, you're putting your almost naked body on
display and it's a reflection of what you ate and how you trained and what you look
like.
And that's really hard.
if you have struggled with eating disorders and she does a lot of great
work.
So she's got a program and all kinds of stuff.
And that's so great because I remember going to a therapist for binge eating as a
former anorexic.
And I'm in my 20s and I'm trying to talk to this woman about what I'm going
through.
And she's like, you probably need to just step away from the gym.
And I'm like, but I feel like I can continue that.
She's like, but I don't see how the two, the two cannot.
No, I don't think so.
And I was like, I...
Yeah.
can't comprehend it.
They can't comprehend anything that has to do with how we live our lifestyle.
And even when you try, I remember when I hurt my back and I had a doctor come in
and they were just like grilling me for the supplements I was taking.
And they're like, well, you're taking all of these.
And I'm talking about just supplements, by the way, like just an array of like
digestive enzyme, fish oil, like I was.
I don't even remember.
It was just regular supplements.
And they were and I was very lean at the time and they were just like, well, they
like treated me like I was an alien.
It was so they're like, well, you you won't ever get to like weight like weight
lift again.
I started crying because I was in so much pain and I was scared.
But I was like, get like, get get out, like get out.
There's no way.
And I actually met my new doctor that way because he came in to settle me down.
And I was like, I really like you.
And he became my new doctor.
But he.
he helped me.
But I know like and just to let you listeners know the the thing from Celeste
that you're gonna put in the show notes I actually did it.
I did her one of her free programs back in I want to say it was like 22.
I did it.
I spoke with her her and I competed together back in I can't god what year it
was it will it's gonna be coming soon.
yeah.
God, I know, we will.
She's the best.
I did because I was out of the emotional eating stage and I had a control over my
eating, but similar to kind of what you said, I felt like this emptiness and I
couldn't really put my finger on it.
And I knew I didn't wanna solve it by food, cause I knew food wasn't solving it,
but I didn't know what to do.
And I had just got done competing and I was, you know,
building and I was, I think this was right before I hurt my back and I started doing,
she sent it to me and I started working on it and I did it.
It helped me quite a bit to kind of just see things differently, give me a
different like perspective and point of view and it definitely helped me back then
when I needed it.
because I mean, I've spent time with you and gone to dinner with you and socialized
with you and hung out with you and all these things.
And you've always seemed like, you know, your relationship with food is very
healthy.
So I think it's interesting to hear that, you know, you struggled too.
And like, I think it's our clients, we like them to know like that, you know, we
look like we've got it together, but there was a point where we, we struggled and the
desert.
I did.
I never will forget it.
It was, it was 2018 and it was post show and this is also why I will be a big
advocate.
Okay.
No, no.
So I will always be a big advocate to not go on vacation post show.
Now give, give it like, give it time.
Like if you're like a couple of weeks or a week or something like that, like give it
some...
race period, don't go like, or like this Sunday.
So yeah, no.
guidelines and a plan, you know.
so don't be a newbie like me and go right into a vacation.
So no, it was like my third show, but I had taken like so much time off.
So like it was, I was like coming back and I had competed in Las Vegas and it was a
beautiful, great time.
Awesome.
I had to drive.
We were vacationing in Palm Springs and it was like a four hour drive.
Yes, I love Palm Springs.
So from Las Vegas to Palm Springs, California, driving through the desert.
I had just been eating like shit.
I just ate whatever I had no guidelines no rules My stomach could not process like
the food the food I ate I don't remember what I ate It was just a bunch of stuff a
bunch of shit, but my food could not process it.
I couldn't go to the bathroom I couldn't figure it out.
It wasn't it was just stuck I looked at Aaron and I was like you have to pull over
and he's like, huh?
I was like pull over now So he pulled over and I had to like I had to make myself
throw up just to get it out of me.
I
Like I needed this and I was in the middle of the desert and I felt fantastic.
question then, because if you're listening and hearing these stories, you've probably
thought of a million instances where you've had something wild happen post
-show.
But what I find to be the most bizarre thing about post -show eating is that you
can throw up in the desert and the next day, why does your body want that food
again?
Like, even though you know better.
And I want to talk about that today because there is a science behind it.
But I think that is the most maddening thing for anybody who, you know, maybe
Saturday after the show, they have a cheat meal and then Sunday, they have a cheat
meal.
Monday, they're like, I have a food hangover.
I never want to see that food again.
Tuesday rolls around and you want that food again.
It's like you didn't learn your lesson.
Yeah.
So I think that's, that's a very alarming thing where somebody's like, like I'm.
Maybe I should have never competed or like my I'm a mess.
What's wrong with me?
But there is like, you know, things going on in your body that can explain that.
And maybe for some people, if they like to know what's going on and they understand
the reasoning, maybe they won't feel so bad about it and kind of start to, you
know, take some of that guilt off.
yeah, so before we pivot to that, cause that's like spot on to like pivot to it.
Cause like not only did I throw up, I felt better of course, like you said, I felt
great.
And I did, I never wanted to eat.
I was like, I'm never gonna do that again.
I need to keep my gains.
Drove to Palm Springs, got to the condo we were staying at, went to the grocery
store, got my, you know, whatever, tuna packets, protein, whatever, all this stuff
that we're supposed to get, right?
Do you, what do you think I ate for dinner?
Like, what do you, I went, my dad wanted to go out to dinner.
I'm on vacation.
Why would I want to eat tuna packets and green beans on vacation when I can go out
to like a fancy dinner my dad's gonna pay for?
So yeah, exactly.
So, and you are perfect to explain this.
So you can explain the science behind why this happens.
my goodness.
hat.
No, I don't need my notes.
No, because I...
I have clients that are in tears in their check -ins because they're like, I'm
trying to stick to this reverse, but every day, no matter how sick I got the day
before, I want more food.
And I think it's helpful to understand what's going on in your body so that you
don't think that it's got everything to do with willpower and that you suck and you
have no place in this sport.
So there are two, there was many hormones that are...
you know, manipulate, not manipulated, what's the word I'm looking for, that are
altered in what our bodies go through in PrEP.
You know, our hypothalamus is down -regulated, our pituitary gland, our
female sex hormones, you know, testosterone, all these things change when
we are leaner, when we're, you know, in a caloric deficit for a long time.
Yeah.
yeah.
yeah, definitely.
Because maintaining, you know, stage lean for a while, if you've got like a lot of
shows going on, I mean, I'm starting to kind of feel it now because it's been, you
know, a little while and I still have another month before I'm going into a
little break.
But yeah, these things all change.
So you'll be noticing along the way, you know, changes in libido, changes in energy
level, all these things, right?
Thyroid changes, all these things.
And that's, that's part of it.
And it all, it can all go back to normal.
It really can.
But two really important hormones are
are leptin and ghrelin.
And they're responsible for kind of a similar thing.
Ghrelin is the hunger hormone, and then leptin is the satiety hormone.
And leptin is actually stored in body fat.
So as your body fat decreases, your leptin decreases.
And what that means is that the food that used to satisfy you doesn't satisfy you
anymore.
And so you go into your...
evening after the show, the day after the show and you're eating food and the
ghrelin increases as you start to eat more.
You know, you've got a burger and then the ghrelin is, you know, really high and then
your leptin is still low because your body fat is still low.
So you don't have enough leptin to balance the ghrelin and you have this going on and
it just takes time.
It will level out and you don't have to gain weight.
a ton of weight for it to level out.
But you know, you have to kind of restore some of that body fat, you know, put on
however much body fat your individual body needs.
I will not say a number on this podcast.
It's like a rule I have, but everyone's different, but it just takes time to kind
of level out.
So if you're patient with yourself and just understand it's normal, then I think
it's easier to navigate that without so much guilt and shame, because if you feel
too guilty and shameful, then you won't talk to people and you won't reach out for
help and you just.
blame yourself and then your eight weeks post show and you're you know
40 pounds heavier and you feel terrible and you don't want to go to the gym
because you're embarrassed and you feel like you've let everybody down and all
your hard work has gone.
And so I think that, you know, just understanding the science and then not
putting so much blame and guilt on yourself is key to just getting, you just
got to get through it.
It's rough and the cravings eventually they settle down.
but I find what's helpful is to just like put a snack in your day and, and it might
scare you to do that, but if you,
If you don't, you're gonna eventually drive yourself crazy and find yourself
binging.
So, you know, if that means you have an Oreo every day, okay, it's fine.
It's better than having 20 because you made yourself crazy about them, you know?
So.
like my reverse diet.
So the mental fortitude that you have to have, I know whenever you're going into
your reverse diet, you want all of these things.
You feel, especially as a new competitor, you feel completely deprived.
You have all of these hormone issues going on right now.
They're trying to, like you said, trying to balance out.
They're trying, they're fighting.
Your mental fortitude is...
is gonna be kicked in the ass, really.
Because you're gonna be like, well, one snack won't hurt and this snack won't hurt
and this snack and it adds up.
One thing I wanna share with you, a few things that I have done these last two
weeks that have really, really helped me.
And I almost didn't even need the help per se.
Like I'm already pretty like.
you know, forget it, I'll just eat like an extra little bit of rice, like an ideal,
you know, whatever.
But, but why do that when I can be a little bit more experimental, right?
So, like you said, have a, like somebody you can add a snack in or like what I do
as I take one of my meals and my meals of being like protein, carbs, fat, veggie,
one of my bigger meals, right?
So I'll take that and I'll make protein ice cream.
It's the same thing.
It's the same measurement.
I'll do protein ice cream.
I'll use a ninja creamy.
And then what I'll do is instead of my fats, like sometimes I, or with my fats,
I'll put nut butter on it.
If I have, if I don't have a fat, I'll make nut butter out of PB fit and you just
do sugar -free maple syrup and you add water, salt, you can flavor it how you
want.
You can use that as it is.
You can use it as a drizzle.
I, I don't think I've shown you this because this is a new purchase of mine.
I don't have any with me right now.
I started using Twisted Dough protein dough.
They're macros.
I they always tasted good, but
Hmm.
I just couldn't keep them in the house.
I wasn't responsible enough just hands down years ago.
Like years ago I wasn't, but now it's like, okay, no, their macros fit really
well.
They're very low fat, low carb and high protein.
So I can do like a tablespoon of that and put it in the microwave and it turns into
like a cookie crumble because it bakes.
So I have like a brookie cookie crumble on top of my protein ice cream with, yeah,
with a PB fit drizzle.
Like you can come up with little creative ways.
So like PB fit sugar free jelly sugar free
maple syrup, you know, measure it out with a tablespoon.
Don't go crazy because your stomach's still not used to those things.
Like don't just like squirt the whole thing on like that.
You don't want to upset your stomach.
But like a little bit here and there that can satisfy like that satiation that you
have for like, I want something sweet.
I want something salty.
You know, doing those kinds of things have really like just helped when I like I'm
sitting watching TV with the husband at night and he's eating, you know, the stuff
he's eating.
Now, can I eat my normal, you know, food that's prepped?
Absolutely.
But like,
know why not indulge a little bit in something that fits in so just there's
ways to be like slightly creative while you're slowly getting you know out of your
prep and into your improvement season and finding those ways definitely can help you
know finding things to cook and bake and you know it it's helpful it helps with
those tastes for sure.
the time on Instagram.
I'm like, hey coach, in six weeks, can this be on my reverse?
I'm like, sure.
and I think that that has really helped my clients.
So at our company, mom shall method fitness, we do meal plans.
We don't do macros.
And so, you know, in the design of a meal plan, sometimes, you know, we need input
because your nutrition is very, very personal.
I don't know, you know, I can tell you what I would like to eat, but you know,
it's very personal.
So, I do a lot of collaborative meetings with my clients when we're planning
reverse.
and it's like, Hey, can I like have something sweet for breakfast?
Like,
maybe those like Kodiak pancakes, like I love those.
Sure.
I really miss my Quest bars.
Yep, let's put those in.
And I find if we work together on it, it doesn't feel as strict and we can kind of
keep a tight rein.
And then I, each week when we check in, I'm assessing their hunger and how they're
doing with their food relationship.
And, you know, I had one client that was like, my God, I went kind of crazy on the
Cheddar Mini Rice Cakes.
I was like, well, let's just build them into your plan, you know?
no, I think it might've actually been Cheetos.
And I was like, okay, well,
Have you tried the cheddar mini rice cakes?
And so we built those in and she's like, I feel guilty eating these.
And I'm like, but it's fine.
Like it's a rice cake and it's cheddar.
She's like, but they're too good.
I'm like, yeah, but that's what this is about.
And then as she sort of watched her body do well and her metabolism increase, then
she was like, my, you know, this is great.
And we got to increase the food and, and all of that.
So I think just like being able to have those conversations, like I'm going to
talk to my coach about my reverse and kind of what my goals are and how I want to
make
strategic for myself.
But of course I have 19 years experience so I have just a lot of a lot of failures
that I can I can remember and not having plans.
And also I had to prepare myself for two outcomes.
The one I want and the one I might I don't want.
And I have to be mentally strong in either way.
Like I can't celebrate too much if things go the way that I have dreamt for my whole
life.
I can't be sad and in a hole and go down a bad
path because they don't go that way.
So I've kind of like got that going on in my head and a plan for that so I can enjoy
my summer and, you know, strategically plan for the rest.
And so I just think it's smart, it's smart to have a plan and don't just only think
about up until the day of your show.
Start thinking about your reverse, start having those conversations, do Celeste's
free course, watch podcasts, listen to YouTube.
All the things, like get all the information that you can so that you're
prepared.
And just take it one day at a time.
Like if you treated your prep like it all had to be achieved in like one week, well,
I mean, you'd never get there.
So.
The same goes for your reverse.
It's important to execute it well, but if you don't, it's okay.
You just have to take it one day at a time and focus on your goals.
And everybody's messed up, and they always end up coming back and getting it
together.
And you learn from it, hopefully, right?
always remember your goals.
Cause that's kind of the, the process of the reverse is like, why are you going
into reverse?
And what do you want to accomplish with your improvement season?
Because that's another thing, you know, you want to really think about, especially
if you want to make this sport, you want to go pro, you want to go to a pro
qualifying show, you want to grow in the sport, you want to look a certain way, you
want to feel a certain way.
Understand that a lot, if not,
all of that happens in your improvement season because that is the time where you
can, you are in your reverse, you're raising your calories.
And the point of raising your calories is to regulate your hormones, start building
muscle tissue, get, you know, get feeling better, have, you know, a better mental
fortitude, you know, mental strength.
And you get to a point where, okay,
Understand that you're not gonna look like you did in prep at the gym.
You're gonna look different and embrace that and love your body for it because now
is when the real work begins and you can have so much fun with it.
When I tell you that in 2022, I, or 23,
I traveled everywhere and I don't mean just for expediting.
I went to Spain for two weeks.
I went to Vegas.
I went to Florida.
I traveled.
I traveled all the time for all sorts of different experiences, family stuff,
sports stuff, you know, expediting, bodybuilding things.
And I, I ate as best as I really could, you know, as I did, but I stayed
consistent at the gym.
And if you look at the posts that I made today, I don't look like I do now, but
like I'm able to have the physique I have now.
because I spent time building it.
And that's, you know, remember your why when you go into an off season, don't just
sit and eat a bag of, you know, Doritos or whatever, just because you can remember
like food is fuel.
Food is gonna help you achieve what you want to achieve.
Rather it's a physical look, you know, growth in the sport, you know, or, you
know, wanting to be more active and have, you know, healthier long life for your
kids.
Mm -hmm.
is going to give you that.
And so is being active in the gym.
It's so true.
And I think we talked about this on a prior episode about just like remembering
who you are.
And I think that most people like come into bodybuilding because they had a love
for fitness.
They had a love for healthy eating.
They discovered how they felt when they ate a good amount of healthy protein and
they drank water.
So like remember those things.
Because I think that was something that I forgot in my first off season.
I, you know, went to a drive through and I don't think I'd ever been to like Burger
King or like
I had never been a fast food person ever in my life.
Again, some of that stems from having battled anorexia and just choosing healthy
options because I wanted to eat healthy.
So I was a very healthy eater.
And then I did my first show and all of a sudden I'm getting Dairy Queen and all,
like what?
No, it's like, yeah, it just didn't make any sense.
But again, there wasn't the information that we have now.
So I think like,
remember that when you've when you think about where you started and you know how
you came into this and then just finding that that balance and and and treating it
like a choice and you know if you love to work out that's why you did this you
wouldn't want to be a bodybuilder if you hated lifting weights right you know and I
think that just you know just having somebody to support you and having a plan
but I went on a tangent there and I don't remember what I was gonna say it was good
though it was good.
what I have to carry us.
So there is there is getting ready for reverse, though.
I do want to talk about this because I feel like it's probably one of the most
difficult things, especially being an expediter and traveling to all the shows
that I see every show.
We'll just say every show.
As you compete and you have all your friends and family just love on you and
support you and cheer you on.
And it's fantastic.
Communicate with.
them.
Like sit down, have a phone call, whatever it is and let them know like, Hey, I love
that you're going to be at my show.
I love that you're going to come see me.
I love that you're going to cheer me on.
Please don't bring food every time it.
Yeah, it's I always see competitors that are just very excited and elated.
They love the sport.
They're so happy.
And a lot of times like friends and family, they mean well, they do.
They never mean a disservice.
Mm -hmm.
look at our sport and think, okay, my son, husband, wife, whatever, mother, just did
a 24 week prep.
Now she can go out to dinner every other day.
Now she can drink wine with me.
Now she can have, we can have burgers every night.
They believe that after you're done competing, then you can return back to a
person that maybe you,
You never actually were.
They just are so used to you meal prepping and being at the gym and being scheduled
and being really strict.
Yeah.
Surely you cannot wait to just go to Chick -fil -A every night, you know?
understand and nothing is wrong with that.
But like having a conversation with your friends and family and understand and let
them know like, hey, I really bring me flowers, you know, something special
that's fantastic.
But you know, if you wanna go out to dinner and celebrate with them, great,
enjoy that time.
I always recommend spreading out the love.
Like, if your friends and family are at your show, go to dinner, you know, do what
you planned.
But then if you have other friends and family that have waited to, I don't know,
like spend time with you and you wanna do a food thing with them, plan it for the
next week or the next, yeah, spread it out.
Just communicate because they don't know.
They will never understand.
It's up to you to set those boundaries for them so they can respect them and
everybody will be happier.
because the last thing you wanna do is feel forced to go out to dinner and then
nobody's gonna have a good time.
And nobody's gonna feel good.
like you have all the time in the world, like the food's not going anywhere.
It's, you know, getting out of that scarcity mindset of, you know, like, I got
to get all this eating in because I'm going, you know.
What is?
The food's not going anywhere.
can sit here right now and pick up my phone and I can door dash like a whole
carrot, I like carrot cake, carrot cake with my name on it and say like, I don't
know, say whatever I want it to and it'll be on my door and like, I bet like 45
minutes.
Like food, it does, it's insane.
Yeah.
So I remember what I was going to say.
And it was really, yeah, and it's good.
good.
So you know what I think is important and what is wonderful about you know all of
the information that we have now is sort of this like acceptance of being an
athlete all year round.
And truly when you look at shows and you look at the level of competition even at
like in the true novice class at these shows you know this isn't like a four
months and done sort of endeavor.
And and really I don't know what the
statistics are.
But like I would say most people don't just do one show.
Like I think they do one show and and they might prep for like seven years before
they do another one, but they're kind of always thinking about it because it is
just so satisfying and you're so proud of yourself, you know.
And so if that's the case, you have to think about your goals all year round and
like, no, you're not laser focused in your improvement season.
You're like, you know, I remember one time I was counting and I was like, I'm 385
days out.
Like it was really
far away.
but you know, was I laser focused the entire time?
No, you know, you've got to, you got to have that time to just like, you know,
give yourself a break.
But did I take my vitamins every day and pour out my measured water and drink my
protein?
Like I remember my, step kids when they first kind of got used to me and my habits
and you know, all of us living together and I competed, you know, I'm making like,
you know, chicken and rice and protein pegs.
And they're like, why are you doing a competition?
And I'm like, well, yeah, next summer.
Well, why are you eating that?
I'm like, because I eat this all the time.
Like, this is how I eat, right?
And so, yeah.
the rain, but tomorrow he's smoking all my chicken and I still have my carrots in the
fridge.
I love carrots and chicken.
really do love that food and it doesn't like it doesn't bother me like I will meal
prep and take food with me You know to Branson when we go on our family vacation
like yeah i'm gonna have more freedom You know and flex meals to play with and you
know some little cheeky cocktails here and there but like you know i'm probably i'm
gonna train every day and i'm that's me that's who I am and so it's sort of like I
talked to somebody today about this is a really cool thing that that she did
and she evaluates her days.
Is she an A or an O?
And an A is an athlete and an O is old version of you.
And so if you treat yourself like an athlete, you put an A.
And if you are O, old version of you, which might be, you know, self
-sabotaging, you know...
no consistency, you know, not following a plan, not, not being intentional.
And then sort of looking at your month and going like, okay, did I have more A's than
O's?
And so I loved that.
I thought, my, I'm totally stealing that.
I don't know why I'm going to use it, but I was stealing it.
I think that's so great because that's what you want to move towards in it.
And that's not saying perfect.
Nowhere in there.
Did I say perfect?
I said intentional.
a grid and you mark A or O, A or O and then after like 300 grids, like you know
what I mean, like the grid paper that people like kids get for algebra and
stuff.
But, yeah.
But, that was a dumb question.
But yeah, you.
in my basement and grab some?
and I have a school supply area because yeah, what a waste.
run a school for three frickin' years with the stuff.
And they bring it all home.
I'm like, I don't need any more glue sticks.
They use Chromebooks for everything.
I'm like, why do you even need 27 glue sticks?
Whatever.
I have so many like binders and stuff in there.
But anyways, no, that's so the A &O.
So then after like, it is, that is neat.
Look at you beating up your mic.
know I'm like in that phase of prepper.
I really can't get comfortable.
so anyways, yeah, I thought that was really cool.
And, and truly like that is like how I view, my reverse and improvement season
now.
I don't think that was the case years ago when I was still really battling with
eating issues and, you know, my food relationship, but, you know, I came back
from a break.
in 2020 and that was when things were really different for me.
A lot of things have changed in my life and, and that is like kind of how I just
look at things.
It's like, you know, I'm not going to stop, you know, taking my vitamins and my
pre -workout and my intro workout.
And I'm still going to go to the gym at the same time every day.
Like I do now, like that is like just, and honestly, cause that stuff makes me happy.
So, you know, I would ask every competitor if they're like, I just, I don't want to
go to the gym and I don't want to eat chicken.
And I'm like, well, okay, then maybe those things don't make you happy.
Okay.
Well they do.
Okay.
Well then maybe we just.
need a little bit of variety, switch things up a little bit so that you can
find, you know, maybe you need, you know, a new gym.
Like maybe you need, you know, to go get some new tennis shoes or, you know, a new
playlist or something just to switch things up, spice it up a little bit so you
get excited again.
Because for some people it's really hard when the show's over to stay motivated and
I get it.
I've been there for sure.
We both have.
So, well everybody, I hope you enjoyed this episode.
I hope you got some really good tips and a little insight to us.
I mean, we kind of shared some deep stuff there.
I love when I hear from people that they've like taken a nugget from our
episode, you know, because that's truly like, I always say this is our passion
project because we make zero dollars doing this and we just do it because we love it.
And I enjoy connecting with people and hearing that, you know, we've benefited
your day, that you listen to us when you're doing cardio and you got something
from it.
So please, you know, just let us know.
And we're here for support too.
If you're like, you know, want to talk and you don't have anybody to talk to, I'm
here
before you just send me a DM, you know?
Yeah.
and if you ever ever especially because I'm expediting the rest of the MPC Midwest
shows this year if you ever see me at a show during check -ins if you see me like
and You want to take pictures or you want to do anything or if you have any
questions like feel free to like ask me I know I've met quite a few people at shows
I've expedited or been in and it really like I It jolts me like
I, cause like you said, it is a passion project.
We, you and I got together back in November, October and it's like, we want
to share.
all as much as we possibly can to help as many people as we possibly can understand
that you're not alone.
We all go through this.
We all, you know, are getting older.
We all love competing.
We all have goals outside of our kids, you know, and we all want to be a better,
healthier version of ourselves and like step on stage or in a bikini and like, we
want to share all this with you guys.
And so if you ever see either one of us, like, my gosh, just like ask us anything,
let us know how you feel.
Give us feedback in person.
Yeah.
Then we like people will tell us like, your mic is too quiet.
I'm like, I know.
Thank you.
You know, because we want to yeah, we want to bring like, you know, an episode that's
enjoyable for you to listen to.
And we're still learning.
Like there is no training on how to do this.
Like we're just like, OK, let's see how this goes.
You know, no, it's we Googled it.
Yeah.
sometimes I have to talk to, I'm just like, I'm learning.
We've gotten better about learning.
like, like analytics work.
Like when I found out we were like number three in Spain or what kind of, some
country were like, I was like, yeah.
I don't know what it means, but I'm like, that's awesome.
But I don't really understand how it all works because all I really care about is
you guys and sharing what I know.
And the fact that anyone's interested in my boring life is like fascinating to me
that I'm like, you know, but I really it really is just fills my heart to do this.
So I'm tired.
I love you guys.
Thanks.
any of your thoughts and feedback and we'll see you next week.
Bye!