Show Notes
The loudest voices in the room are the negative ones. They are quick, biased and they don’t contemplate the truth. Not in the moment anyway. They need time for that.
They first allow the reactional, emotional, and primal brain to speak. Allowing their analytical and focused prefrontal cortex to speak would be slow and inefficient.
So, is it any wonder you hear loud negative voices consistently more than positive voices? When you hear those negative voices can you see through them? Do you see where they are coming from? The words you hear are not the best of that human in front of you. They are the most undeveloped and primal part of them. Can you see past that or at least recognize it for what it is?
When someone speaks to you with loud negativity, does it affect you in any way? Do you think negative thoughts when someone speaks to you in a loud negative voice? That’s like a caveman speaking to a caveman. Limbic brain reacting to another limbic brain.
What is it not? It is definitely not an analytical, conscious enlightened prefrontal cortex speaking.
Positive voices are slow to speak. They have awareness of their thoughts, contemplate, do the work and then speak.
They are analytical….so they tend to ask questions. They desire more information on the subject instead of immediately forming an opinion.
They are less biased, less judgmental. So, they tend to discuss the positives and negatives of any subject. They see the yin and yang that exists in most everything.
Positive words come from the pre frontal cortex maybe even the soul.
We are bombarded with negative voices.The news, social media, the entertainment machine, other people around us, who we love dearly no doubt.
That’s what makes it so difficult to separate yourself and your own thinking from all the negative noise thrown at you on a consistent basis. Your limbic brain is designed to be on the lookout for threats. Here comes an entire army of negativity running towards you.
Your brain has a built-in auto pilot function to quickly react to such negativity. So, it does what it is designed to do, react. How does it react? In the exact same way as the army heading for you. Negative, reactional, emotional.
Can you see through the noise of the primal brain’s voice when they speak? Behind it is a deep human, a soul who is so much more than the words that are spoken in the moment.
Don’t give up. Give them the time to process the info with their pre frontal. They need it. The reason they need it is that they aren’t weak. Which is a good thing…..even if frustrating.
First recognize the facts. Most often the loudest voice is not the best part of the person speaking. It is as if their caveman brain is speaking to you.
Should you let those quick loud negative voices influence your emotions or judge them? That would be like letting a child control the emotion of an adult. That happens to all of us by the way.
But if you are a parent do you understand the need to not get emotional when your child gets emotional? What happens in that scenario? If you react in an emotional negative way when your child is feeling emotional and negative, what happens? Does it calm the child down? Or feed the negativity?
Is it not the same thing in training setting with adult students and adult instructors? Student vocalizes the primal thoughts of their limbic brain. Trainer reacts with same negative limbic brain. What is the outcome? Progress and coming to a common ground? Or does that negativity feed and grow?
One of us has to cut off the food supply. Might as well be you right?
See it for what it is. Some of this negativity can be coming from things that have nothing to do with you at all. You are just the emotional punching bag that fits the bill today.
Behind anger there is always pain. They could be hurting inside. Who knows what all they have been through? Everyone around you is going through some kind of suffering. And that suffering that they are going through is a suffering that most if not all of their neighbors are unaware of. Most of us are under a tremendous amount of stress.
I’m the one who has the responsibility to bring the positivity to the room! That is my job. My purpose is to bring it! Why would greatness be easy and celebrated with a ton of back slapping.
You are speaking a message that is quieter and different than the loud voice of the world.
Don’t judge it! Don’t react to it. Allow it to be. It will instantly diminish.
If you react to it in an emotional way you feed it, the negativity grows stronger.
If you turn the other cheek to it, it instantly begins to diminish.
If you pay close attention to the thoughts you have, do you see this same process in yourself? Do you have negative thoughts? Maybe they are thoughts you keep to yourself. Can you recognize when they are coming from that reactive cave man brain of yours? Can you see the difference when you process any situation with your prefrontal cortex?
What if you had the ability to set your prefrontal to come on at specific times in your life when you need it most? The good news is you can! The same technology we have today…that some people think is all negative…..has the ability to engage your prefrontal cortex whenever you desire.
You have to plan positive thoughts. Negative thoughts are on auto pilot.
Program positive thinking in your calendar. There are times when I have an office day and I take a look through my calendar. What are the specific moments when I need to engage my prefrontal cortex? 5-10 minutes before I begin a seminar? Immediately before the after-lunch session? Immediately before I interview a manager during a culture assessment?
What are those moments for you? Can you look ahead in your calendar and program your phone to switch on the prefrontal cortex at specific highly relevant moments? What would you program your phone to do? I program inspirational leadership or enlightenment quotes to go off at these times. Sometimes I just write a message to myself. Whatever I think I need to hear right before I begin that activity.
This is really just a twist on an old concept of putting post it notes on your bathroom mirror. Great minds of done this before, programming their brain first thing in the morning. Now we have the ability to program them throughout the day. What a blessing?
In summary, negative voices are not highly analytical unbiased brains talking to us. See through them. Behind them is a deeper human being. One who has the ability to use their prefrontal cortex. Don’t judge them, help them. Can you guide their thought towards the prefrontal? Can you bring awareness to them of this concept? If you can maybe they will share it with others.