Dan Grant: Client SEO can be a real pain. Agencies often get clients with unrealistic expectations, especially when the client has no understanding of what SEO involves. Here’s an example of the kind of situation you can run into.

Ben Eden (as the client): Thank you, thank you. Okay, let’s get down to business. Would you like us to begin?

Dan Grant: Sure. Let’s start with your website. What’s the URL?

Ben Eden: Oh, it’s easy. It’s e-cig-world-is-the-best-in-the-world-dot-org.

Dan Grant: …Alright. Looking at your site, I can’t see any content. Do you create content?

Ben Eden: Don’t be daft. We don’t have any content. None at all. Have a look — the content is in my mind.

Dan Grant: Okay… so how old is the domain?

Ben Eden: I built it yesterday. I went home, saw my wife, sat down, opened Wix, and made my site.

Dan Grant: So the site didn’t exist until yesterday?

Ben Eden: Correct.

Dan Grant: So I’m assuming no backlinks?

Ben Eden: What the f*** is a backlink?

Dan Grant: Right. Let me not waste your time. We have a lot of costs — SEO tools, analysis, content creation, outreach, backlink campaigns. This is a huge job. What keyword do you want to rank for?

Ben Eden: I want “ecig.” Just “ecig.”

Dan Grant: One of the hardest keywords in the entire niche?

Ben Eden: Yes. I want it. One word.

Dan Grant: Okay. What’s your budget?

Ben Eden: One thousand pounds.

Dan Grant: So you want me to rank a one-day-old Wix site… with no content… no backlinks… a ridiculous domain name… for the keyword “ecig”… for £1,000 per month?

Ben Eden: I’m f***ing serious.

Dan Grant: Let me explain something. Say you want a brand-new Ferrari. Yellow, whatever. You go to the dealership, and they ask your budget. What do you say?

Ben Eden: Ten thousand.

Dan Grant: Ten thousand pounds… for a Ferrari?

Ben Eden: Yes. I’ll buy that s***.

Dan Grant: We’re going nowhere.

Ben Eden: And I’m not just paying you the thousand pounds per month for backlinks. I want reports. I want phone calls. I want staff calls. I want background checks. Criminal records. I want everything on my desk. I’m paying you good money to put my e-cig world on Google.

Dan Grant: When you send your car to a mechanic and they fix it, you don’t ask them to show you every bolt and screw they touched. You just accept the car is fixed.

Ben Eden: If I get a bad mechanic and my car doesn’t work, then next time I want to see everything they do. Every step.

Dan Grant: There are so many clients like you. Unrealistic expectations. Tiny budget. Terrible site. No SEO foundation. Agencies don’t entertain clients under two or three grand a month anymore, especially on competitive terms.

Ben Eden: But my wife said it was a good idea.

Dan Grant: With all due respect to your wife — she’s ugly and wrong. This meeting is over. I wish you the best of luck with www.e-cig-world-is-the-best-in-the-world.org
.

Dan Grant: And that, guys, is an example of a nightmare SEO client. Unrealistic goals, a minuscule budget, a brand-new site, and expecting to rank for huge keywords in a week. If you’re actually looking for SEO help, consider reputable agencies — or sometimes you’re better off outsourcing the work yourself. We recommend checking out Best Companies, a comparison site for trustworthy content writers and backlink providers. Thanks for watching, and see you in the next one.