Hey, y'all, and welcome to the Snap on a podcast. The podcast where real life meets real laughter. I'm your host, Naomi. I'm a mom, storyteller, chaos coordinator, and your new podcast bestie. If you're ready for honest conversations, funny moments and some real life talk without the filter, you're in the right place.

Let's get into it. Hey, y'all and welcome back to episode number two. And today we're going to be talking about mommy overstimulations. I'm sure a lot of moms can identify with this one, because how many times throughout the week, over the course of days are we overstimulated? Just for the simplest things, you know, it could be, you're trying to cook dinner and somebody's tugging on you, or you're just trying to fold laundry and somebody's saying, mom, mom, mom, mom.

Or you're just trying to take a bag and you hear them, you knock at the door. Mom, what are you doing in there? Mom, can I have some chips? Mom, I'm thirsty. Or you're in the bathroom.

And you just close the door hoping that you can just use the bathroom alone. But that doesn't happen, does it? No. And you get overstimulated over just the smallest things. And I didn't even realize for myself that I am super triggered by like the small things and getting overstimulated.

I get overstimulated really, really easy. And I'm trying to do better with asking for help. I know a lot of the times I'm like, you know what, if I could just do it myself, I can get it done and it could be done the right way. But is that really the right way? Are you looking to do it your way or at least for me, am I looking to do it the right way or am I just looking to get it done?

And most of the time I just need to get it done, right? And again, overstimulation, that looks different, I think for each mom. And again, I could be wrong, but at least for me, could be less simple as things that like I get triggered by. And I guess the cute definition of overstimulation is, it's when too many demands hit your sense all at once. Noise, touch, questions, mess, and your brain just like, you know, tap out.

And I think it's, you know, it's okay to be overstimulated. But I think with also addressing the overstimulation, you have to take a step back and realize you're overstimulated. And that doesn't make you a bad mom. It just means that, you know, you're human and your nervous system is crashing because you're trying to manage all of this stuff. Not only that, you're, you wake up in the morning, early in the morning, even for stay at home moms, like we're not going to discredit them because Lord knows.

Wow, the job that y'all do, the stay at home moms, I applaud y'all because I don't, I can't see that for myself. And again, I'm not saying that at one point I didn't want that in my life because at one point I did, but that is a job, a 6 figure job in itself because whew, just dealing with the kids and manage your household and finances and all of that, that is a lot, right? And again, overstimulation could look different for everybody. Like, you know, someone, like I said earlier, someone touching you while someone else is talking while you're while the TV is on, kids asking questions back to back. I mean, just rattling off questions, right?

Soon as you sit down and get a break, somebody needs you. How often does that happen to me? I feel like that, that happens often, probably daily. As soon as I sit down, I'm like, you know what? Peace and quiet.

And I hear, Mom, can I have some chips? Mom, can I have some water? Mom, she touched me. She hid me. I'm like, oh, I just need five minutes of silence.

That's what I need. And I'm actually trying to teach my children that, you know, mommy needs a break. And I don't like to I don't like for them to see me cry. And most of the time, that's how I get my emotions out, if I'm mad or upset. Or I'm at my breaking point where I'm overstimulated, I'll just walk out the room without even telling my husband.

And I'm not proud of that, but I'm doing better in letting him know, Hey, I'm overstimulated. And sometimes I'm crashing so hard, I don't even have time to even make him aware that I'm overstimulated. I'm like, Okay, let me just remove myself from the situation before I get angry and I yell at the kids or I'm yelling at him. And I'll just go in my room or a quiet space and I'll cry. And maybe five or ten minutes it'll take me to kind of just regroup.

But after that, you know, I'm able to talk to him and say, Hey babe, you know, I'm overstimulated. I just need something. And I'm trying to process that moment of what I need. And sometimes I don't know right away. And he has to kind of like walk me through it, you know, do you need five minutes?

Do you need ten minutes? Do you need, you know, the kids to be quiet? And he does a really good job managing, you know, like, Hey, you cannot get everything done all at once, even though I try to, and I'm working on that as well. But I feel like, Hey, if the house isn't clean, I don't like clutter. And I'm trying to work through just having a little clutter and not really wanting to clean it.

Well, wanting to clean it and not cleaning it because it could be done another day. And I'm trying to do everything all at once. And I think a lot of the times that's how I become overstimulated because I'm just trying to do everything at once. And it typically starts with cleaning up and doing the laundry. And then, you know, maybe I'm thinking about work and trying to balance that.

And I just realized, you know what, I cannot do everything. And when I do become overstimulated, I'm irritable. I'm snapping on everybody. I'm crying. And I shut down.

And then after all of this has happened, I'm feeling guilty because I'm like, Oh my God. You know, I feel bad I snapped on the kids and Mamas. We gotta understand that we're not you're not mad at your kids. Like, you're just overwhelmed and you have to keep saying it to yourself. I'm not mad at my kids.

I'm overstimulated. Not saying the kids don't take you there because my kids definitely will take me there. But you have to understand, hey, it's okay. I'm just overstimulated. And it's okay to not do something.

Take a break, take that moment and be like, you know what? That could be done tomorrow. That could be done another day. And trying to just manage everything. And it's easier said than done, right?

Because who wants to just delay doing laundry? Because you know at the end of the week it's gonna pile up, right? And you're be like, I should have just done it two, three days ago, but is it worth your mental capacity by being overstimulated? That's what I'm trying to manage and saying to myself, is this worth me being overstimulated? And most of the time when I look back at it, it's really not.

And I have to keep saying to myself, this can wait. I don't have to do this today. But again, that's easier said than done. And I think the more we address moms being overstimulated, I think the more we can identify with other moms, right? And you might even think to yourself, Oh, you know, other moms, I'm sure they handle this better than I do.

And that's not always the case. A lot of moms, we're still trying to figure this out. I sure don't have all the answers. I'm three kids in y'all and I'm still trying to figure this out. I'm still trying to figure out how to not to not be overstimulated.

I'm still trying to figure out how to balance everything, you know, being a wife, being a mom, being a podcaster, you know, being a friend, being an aunt, and it's not easy. We have so many roles that we do. And I can't almost guarantee if you ask yourself this question, who am I? And the first thing you'll say is I'm a mom. But, you know, there's more to just us being a mom, you know?

And I think the more we sit with how many times we're overstimulated or come to terms with, Look, I'm overstimulated. And I know social media loves to make mommyhood glamorize. And I'm not saying there's not beautiful pieces of being a mom because I love being a mom. That's like a core that to my core, I love being a mom. But I'm not saying that there's not days where I'm like, somebody gonna get these kids, you know, or, just the other day, Mima called, that's their grandmother, and she said, Hey, you know, do you need a break?

Because I'm having a conversation with her and I'm trying to learn how to cook this, beef stew that my husband wants. Me conversation while I'm on the phone with her and the kids walk up, Hey, Mima. Just totally disregard the fact that I'm having a conversation with her. And I'm like, you little rude person. But what do you do?

They love their grandmother. And I'm just like, I just needed a moment to have an adult conversation with your Mema so I can learn how to cook this beef stew and not burn it. Because I'm not gonna sit here and say, you know, I'm a great cook. I'm a No, no, no, no. I'm learning.

I'm definitely learning. I don't think I'm a bad cook. I think I'm a decent cook, but I needed that moment to learn and just to have an adult conversation and to learn how to make the beef soup, right? And I think also a lot of moms, we just need to support each other and in the overstimulation and recognize that does look different for every mom and admit that it's okay. And it does happen.

I know a lot of moms say I don't get over. I just, it's cute. It is cute, but I'm not gonna sit here and say, I'm never overstimulated. I can probably count on my hand how many times in a week I'm overstimulated. Now, I'm not saying a lot of the times it's not my fault because I'm trying to do everything.

But I think for myself, if I learn a little bit balance and not having to do everything, I think my overstimulation can be lessened. But I don't know. I'm still trying to figure this out. And I think a lot of moms stay quiet about, Oh my God, today I snapped on my kids because I was overstimulated. And that is okay.

We are a lot of roles to a lot of people. And struggling, it doesn't mean you're failing. I think that's the key to supporting moms. We're all struggling. We're all trying to figure this out.

And shout out to the moms who have the opportunity to have nannies. I would love to be able to be in that position to have a nanny. And I'm not saying I don't have a village. I have a really awesome village. I just have a problem with saying, you know, asking for help and saying, Hey, you know, I'm overstimulated.

Please don't get the kids because I don't want to burden anybody with what I'm dealing with. I think that is a lot of the issues that moms have is that we don't ask for help. And I can only speak for myself that we end up feeling either guilty for asking for help, or we feel like, you know, I don't want to burden anybody else with my kids. Mom, go ask for help. If you are sitting here about to shut down and you're about to cry, you're like about to snap because you're overstimulated.

If you need a moment, call on somebody, ask for help. If it's just for five minutes, hey, can you come watch the kids for five minutes while I go outside because we need that time to decompress because if we don't, we're just gonna snap. And that's not good for anybody. That's not good for anybody. When a queen is running her castle and she's snappy, the whole house is upset.

I think we just need to support moms and be realistic about what is happening to us in the mom community and give us some self care. Well, let's say that a different way. We need self care because even the little stuff, it could be, You know what, Aunt Moby stimulated. Let me just take care of myself and sit in the chair quietly for five minutes. And you will be surprised.

Five minutes of silence, gold. How many times are you riding in the car and you give the kids tablets and they have their headphones on And the ride home is quiet. Oh, golden. And although I may have other thoughts running in my mind, I'm like, you know what? Silence.

That's exactly what I needed right now. And that looks different for everybody. And I think with overstimulation, I think moms are so prone to it because it's the constant responsibility, not being able to just switch off, you know, always being needed. We're carrying mental loads. And I think there's a difference between anger and overstimulation, you know, at least for me, I think overstimulation is just a combination of just things happening out of your control and not being able to manage versus, you know, something is really upset you.

But I think overstimulation is really determined by each situation. And it's the buildup of little things constantly happen. And eventually, it just spills over. And I think a lot of times if we just take a few moments, go sit in the car, lock the door while we're in the bathroom, go do some meditation, walk around the block if you need to, eating the snack and eat it in they face, do it. They say, Mom, can I have some?

No. You know why? Because you need that snack. You know why? Because you're overstimulated.

It's okay. Don't share the snacks. Hide them. If you don't want them to have the snacks, I have my snacks. And y'all know I'm a snack mama.

I hide them. Oh, I eat them while they go to sleep when they taking naps. So that way I can eat it in peace because I don't want to be overstimulated and eating my snack. That's a bad combination for both of us. So, again, mamas, y'all are not alone.

Even though some moms are afraid to admit that they're overstimulated, I just want y'all to know that you're not alone. You're not broken. And so many moms deal with this quietly. For the moms that are dealing with this quietly, you're not alone. Take that moment.

And if you feel like you can't talk about it with someone, just know you're not alone. It's ton of us that are dealing with overstimulation and trying to balance everything because being a mom is not an easy job. But we do it, right? And, again, we just gotta figure out sometimes it's just whatever that thing is, it don't need to be done right now. And I'm sure a lot of times we're like, you know what?

I just wanna get it done. Sometimes we just it's not getting done today. Today is canceled. And again, moms, you're not alone. Just try to take a moment for yourself and just know that taking a break does not mean you don't love your kids.

It means that if anything that you get to show up better for them. When you take that break, you come back, maybe not as overstimulated, but as a mom that's trying to get through that day, just that moment. And that is okay moms. And again, you're not alone. And again, if you need to go in that room and lock the door just for five minutes, it's okay.

It is okay. But hey, y'all, I just want you guys to tell me one thing that gets you overstimulated every time. And for me, is right when I sit down. And especially when I'm like trying to decompress and I'm in the tub and I hear a knocking on the door, like, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom. I'm like, please, somebody come get these kids.

I really need this bath time, so please leave me alone. I'm like, girls, please go find something to do while mommy takes a bath because mommy needs a long time. And I'm trying to get my kids to understand that more. And I think they're doing a really good job of saying, Mom, are you okay? Do you need some alone time?

And I could only be like, you know what? I love them for that because I'm teaching them that mommy's overstimulated and mommy mommy just needs a break. And again, guys, moms, we're not broken. It's okay to eat a snack without permission, without validation, whatever that snack is. You trying to wash your weight, girl, eat the ice cream, eat it.

It's okay because at that moment you just need that one thing to get you to the next moment. And don't beat yourself up about it. You need that thing that's gonna get you through the next moment. I just wanna say thank y'all for hanging out with me. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure you hit follow, leave a rating, and share it with somebody who needs a laugh.

Send your questions y'all, send your stories and confessions for the next episode. Until next time, hide your snacks and protect your peace. Love y'all.