How to Trust Your Own Desires (Without Feeling Selfish)
Do you know what you truly desire?
Not what you're supposed to want.
Not what looks successful from the outside.
Not what everyone else expects of you.
Your desire.
In this episode of Solving for Joy, How to Trust Your Own Desires (Without Feeling Selfish), I'm joined by my dear friend and colleague, Dr. Vanessa Calderón, to explore one of the most misunderstood pillars of the Practice of Joy: desire.
Together, we unpack why so many of us learn to distrust our own longings, how social conditioning can disconnect us from ourselves, and why desire isn't the opposite of integrity. In many ways, it can become the pathway back to it.
We talk about the difference between craving and calling, why our desires deserve curiosity instead of judgment, and how practicing gratitude for what we already have can deepen our capacity for joy. If you've ever wondered whether following your desires is selfish, irresponsible, or simply too risky, I hope this conversation invites you to become a little more curious about what your deepest longings might be trying to teach you.
In This Episode
- Why desire and joy are deeply connected
- The difference between craving and calling
- How social conditioning can disconnect us from ourselves
- Why following your desires isn't selfish
- Practicing gratitude by desiring what you already have
- How curiosity can lead us back to joy
Resources Mentioned
Book
- Finding Your Own North Star by Martha Beck
Person Mentioned
Connect with Dr. Vanessa Calderón
Chapters
00:00 Why Desire and Joy Belong Together
08:20 The Difference Between Craving and Calling
16:38 Coming Home to Yourself Through Desire
24:51 Gratitude, Abundance, and Desiring What You Already Have
33:16 How to Trust Your Desires With Integrity
36:58 Practice for the Week & Final Reflections
About Dr. Chrissie Ott
Dr. Chrissie Ott is a multi-board certified integrative physician, Professional Certified Coach (PCC), speaker, and founder of Joy Point Solutions. Through Solving for Joy, she explores the science and practice of living with greater meaning, alignment, and delight. Her work helps physicians and other high-achieving humans reconnect with themselves so they can build lives that feel deeply authentic, purposeful, and joyful.
Stay Connected with Chrissie
For Physician Coaches & Healthcare Leaders
This episode explores desire, joy, integrity, self-trust, gratitude, purpose, and living in alignment with your values.