{"version": "1.0.0","segments": [{"body": "On this first episode of Convergence, we talk about getting the lawyers in,", "endTime": 4.16, "speaker": "", "startTime": 0.0},{"body": "what is it okay to call yourself, being open to the universe, and what does that even mean,", "endTime": 9.84, "speaker": "", "startTime": 4.16},{"body": "and what makes a project work. Clue, it's not how much you care about it.", "endTime": 15.28, "speaker": "", "startTime": 9.84},{"body": "Oh, Brendan Hutchins, it has been, I would say three years, but I don't think we talk about", "endTime": 29.84, "speaker": "", "startTime": 23.44},{"body": "it's that time that we don't talk about that one. So maybe four years,", "endTime": 36.64, "speaker": "", "startTime": 30.96},{"body": "but it's nice to be on mic with you again. Likewise, brother. This is an honor.", "endTime": 43.12, "speaker": "", "startTime": 36.64},{"body": "And we got to actually hang out and meet for the first time.", "endTime": 46.88, "speaker": "", "startTime": 43.12},{"body": "That was incredible. And you were wearing the same shirt.", "endTime": 49.92, "speaker": "", "startTime": 46.88},{"body": "And every day.", "endTime": 52.4, "speaker": "", "startTime": 49.92},{"body": "And I got to say, that was the most tremendous experience. The whole trip was just fantastic,", "endTime": 62.56, "speaker": "", "startTime": 52.56},{"body": "amazing. Finland, England, and Scotland, but staying with you, I was not expecting this", "endTime": 70.64, "speaker": "", "startTime": 62.56},{"body": "full service tour guide experience of Birmingham. And it was just the greatest thing of all time.", "endTime": 77.92, "speaker": "", "startTime": 70.64},{"body": "I've got the Cadbury world photos on my, on my fridge. And it's yeah, just a fantastic experience.", "endTime": 87.92, "speaker": "", "startTime": 78.88},{"body": "Oh, well, now that we've got to know each other,", "endTime": 92.16, "speaker": "", "startTime": 89.44},{"body": "should we, should we introduce ourselves? Yeah, go ahead. Why don't you, would you like to go", "endTime": 98.64, "speaker": "", "startTime": 93.76},{"body": "first? Two gentlemen. I'm Brendan. I'm typically a home remodeler in Portland, Oregon.", "endTime": 111.36, "speaker": "", "startTime": 99.52},{"body": "And while working, I listened to a lot of podcasts and got obsessed with them and started making", "endTime": 117.6, "speaker": "", "startTime": 112.72},{"body": "them. And yeah, I've always been into audio recording and, and, and audio and music.", "endTime": 125.76, "speaker": "", "startTime": 117.6},{"body": "And now I'm, I'm here as, as it happens at a crossroads, you know, coming up on my,", "endTime": 134.72, "speaker": "", "startTime": 126.72},{"body": "on my 40 transition and looking at, at what I want to do with my life. And also, you know,", "endTime": 141.04, "speaker": "", "startTime": 134.72},{"body": "being confronted with changes outside my control. And, and so now the things in my life are converging", "endTime": 150.72, "speaker": "", "startTime": 141.04},{"body": "to get me to make a new spot for myself. So I'm here to talk about it and think about it and do", "endTime": 160.0, "speaker": "", "startTime": 151.28},{"body": "about it and feel about it. Also a lot of feeling. Yes. I like the doing and feeling about it. That's", "endTime": 166.48, "speaker": "", "startTime": 160.0},{"body": "good. Hi, I'm Mark Steadman. I met Brendan when we were working on a little project I had called", "endTime": 175.44, "speaker": "", "startTime": 166.48},{"body": "which was a podcast platform. And we've been chums ever since. I have, I, I once,", "endTime": 187.28, "speaker": "", "startTime": 176.0},{"body": "I copped some slack in a, in a networking group and I copped it for about three weeks because", "endTime": 193.44, "speaker": "", "startTime": 188.16},{"body": "I was talking about myself and talking about podcasting because I thought it was a networking", "endTime": 198.32, "speaker": "", "startTime": 193.44},{"body": "group. I should talk about what I do. And apparently that was the wrong thing to do.", "endTime": 202.64, "speaker": "", "startTime": 198.32},{"body": "And so they made sort of light fun of me for three weeks. But you know, that's kind of,", "endTime": 209.2, "speaker": "", "startTime": 203.12},{"body": "it's kind of, you know, if convergence is the word, that's, that's another convergence is,", "endTime": 213.52, "speaker": "", "startTime": 209.2},{"body": "is I like how tech and creativity combine and combine and collide. And so that's the stuff that", "endTime": 219.6, "speaker": "", "startTime": 213.52},{"body": "yeah, that really interests me. And I think we, the two of us over our numerous conversations", "endTime": 225.68, "speaker": "", "startTime": 220.16},{"body": "over the years have sort of found areas where we go, Oh, me too. And that's really nice.", "endTime": 229.92, "speaker": "", "startTime": 225.68},{"body": "Mm hmm. So you're at a crossroads. What, what does that look like?", "endTime": 235.44, "speaker": "", "startTime": 230.16},{"body": "Well, um, so I've been running this remodeling company for 14 years now and it's, uh, man,", "endTime": 244.56, "speaker": "", "startTime": 236.0},{"body": "it's paid the bills. It's, it's been easy. It's been, it's been fun. I, you know, I made it myself,", "endTime": 250.16, "speaker": "", "startTime": 244.56},{"body": "um, and without really any, um, guidance or support, I just like was like, all right,", "endTime": 257.36, "speaker": "", "startTime": 250.16},{"body": "I'll just make a website, start remodeling people's homes, figure out how to do it on my own.", "endTime": 261.28, "speaker": "", "startTime": 257.36},{"body": "And, and, um, you know, I had some, my, my, my dad used to flip houses. So I was, I understood", "endTime": 267.36, "speaker": "", "startTime": 261.28},{"body": "what house, what remodels kind of looked like. I had a lot of expanders in that area of, of,", "endTime": 273.28, "speaker": "", "startTime": 267.36},{"body": "um, safety and the knowledge that, Oh, like this can happen. Um, but I didn't, I didn't have too", "endTime": 282.56, "speaker": "", "startTime": 274.32},{"body": "many mentors or anything. I just kind of jumped into it. That's the way I do a lot of things", "endTime": 287.04, "speaker": "", "startTime": 282.56},{"body": "really. And, um, and now I've gotten to, I've, I've, uh, recently and, and, and this, this,", "endTime": 296.72, "speaker": "", "startTime": 287.04},{"body": "this business has been very successful. Like it's just been a one man shop. It's just been me", "endTime": 301.28, "speaker": "", "startTime": 296.72},{"body": "doing all the work, but it's, it's kept me super busy. Uh, and I took my first vacation at 14 years", "endTime": 311.2, "speaker": "", "startTime": 302.32},{"body": "in because I was just so busy and not, not because I couldn't afford it, but because I had a lot of", "endTime": 316.24, "speaker": "", "startTime": 311.2},{"body": "work to do and it was, it was fun. I enjoyed it. Uh, and I say, I say that in past tense and it's", "endTime": 322.56, "speaker": "", "startTime": 316.24},{"body": "still, I still enjoy it, but, um, recently had a, recently had a situation where a client was", "endTime": 331.44, "speaker": "", "startTime": 322.56},{"body": "not so happy and it's been, it's been extending to this level where it's my first ever potential", "endTime": 339.76, "speaker": "", "startTime": 331.44},{"body": "lawsuit. And it like, we're about to go into mediation, which is the step before arbitration.", "endTime": 346.08, "speaker": "", "startTime": 339.76},{"body": "And it's, uh, it's complicated. Cause, cause I mean, for one, I feel bad for the guy. Cause he,", "endTime": 356.08, "speaker": "", "startTime": 346.72},{"body": "he really, we had, we had a contract. Uh, I did a bunch of, uh, work preparation for the project", "endTime": 365.6, "speaker": "", "startTime": 356.08},{"body": "and that was defined in the contract. And then he cancels the contract before I come", "endTime": 371.6, "speaker": "", "startTime": 366.32},{"body": "and actually do any of the actual construction. And then he wants, he wants the money back for", "endTime": 378.08, "speaker": "", "startTime": 371.6},{"body": "the prep work that I did. And I'm like, no, you can't have that. That was money for", "endTime": 382.08, "speaker": "", "startTime": 378.08},{"body": "work rendered. And so now, now we have to get lawyers involved. And that's not what I want", "endTime": 390.64, "speaker": "", "startTime": 383.12},{"body": "to do with my life. I don't want to have lawyers involved. I just want to, I just want to be,", "endTime": 396.16, "speaker": "", "startTime": 390.64},{"body": "I just want to exist, uh, happily without lawyers. And, and so it's making me, I mean,", "endTime": 405.12, "speaker": "", "startTime": 396.16},{"body": "not only, not only is this potential lawsuit, um, have the very real possibility of just", "endTime": 413.12, "speaker": "", "startTime": 405.12},{"body": "ending my company. If I, if I lose this lawsuit, there just is no more rockstar remodel that", "endTime": 419.12, "speaker": "", "startTime": 413.12},{"body": "that's just what's going to happen. This thing I built for 14 years,", "endTime": 423.2, "speaker": "", "startTime": 419.2},{"body": "it's out of my control. Like I, I feel like I have a good case. I feel like I'm", "endTime": 428.64, "speaker": "", "startTime": 425.04},{"body": "probably going to win, but there is a possibility I don't. And then it's just,", "endTime": 433.28, "speaker": "", "startTime": 428.64},{"body": "boom, it's over. Like there's, there's no other option. I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna", "endTime": 440.0, "speaker": "", "startTime": 433.28},{"body": "pull out a giant loan to pay this guy off. Um, and so, you know, I have the possibility of", "endTime": 448.0, "speaker": "", "startTime": 440.96},{"body": "starting up a new remodeling company from scratch. Uh, sure I can do that. I have the", "endTime": 453.68, "speaker": "", "startTime": 449.12},{"body": "skills for it. I have the client base that they're not going to care what, uh, the name", "endTime": 457.84, "speaker": "", "startTime": 453.68},{"body": "of the company is. But over the past couple of years, I've also been, uh, working really hard", "endTime": 465.44, "speaker": "", "startTime": 457.84},{"body": "in new areas. Um, I've been working on my health specifically and gone through a massive", "endTime": 472.96, "speaker": "", "startTime": 465.44},{"body": "transformation, lost a ton of weight, uh, feel incredibly better, uh, inside and out. And", "endTime": 481.28, "speaker": "", "startTime": 472.96},{"body": "I have such a desire and drive to share and to help and to guide that", "endTime": 495.84, "speaker": "", "startTime": 483.12},{"body": "it's, it feels like the right time to possibly shift into something else, shift into, and I've", "endTime": 502.64, "speaker": "", "startTime": 496.8},{"body": "been trying to explore what kind of things that's going to be like, I have a health coach who's,", "endTime": 508.32, "speaker": "", "startTime": 502.64},{"body": "who's also a life coach. And I look at what she's doing and I'm like, maybe I could do that. Oh,", "endTime": 515.44, "speaker": "", "startTime": 508.32},{"body": "that's really interesting. I would love, like, I could do one-on-one coaching with people and we", "endTime": 519.52, "speaker": "", "startTime": 515.44},{"body": "could talk about their exact problems and this and that. And then, and then she goes into some", "endTime": 524.16, "speaker": "", "startTime": 519.52},{"body": "and then she goes into some details about this health thing or that health thing. I'm like,", "endTime": 528.16, "speaker": "", "startTime": 524.24},{"body": "whoa, she has a lot of, I mean, she's been doing this for over a decade, but like, whoa,", "endTime": 532.8, "speaker": "", "startTime": 529.44},{"body": "she has a lot of knowledge I do not have. Like, whoa, that's some interesting context. Like I get", "endTime": 537.12, "speaker": "", "startTime": 532.8},{"body": "really excited about this, this shiny thing. Like right now I'm super into fasting and a whole bunch", "endTime": 542.0, "speaker": "", "startTime": 537.12},{"body": "of different aspects of that. And, and then she's like, well, yeah, but there's this and there's", "endTime": 546.72, "speaker": "", "startTime": 542.0},{"body": "this and there's this. And I'm like, oh, wow. That's so complicated. There's so much to it.", "endTime": 553.36, "speaker": "", "startTime": 546.72},{"body": "And, you know, that just takes time to get the knowledge and awareness of it. Which, you know,", "endTime": 562.24, "speaker": "", "startTime": 553.36},{"body": "yeah, yeah, that, that, that can happen. I learned the proper techniques to do drywall. I can learn", "endTime": 569.84, "speaker": "", "startTime": 563.36},{"body": "the proper techniques to, to do health things. And, you know, and the, and the, the beginning", "endTime": 578.4, "speaker": "", "startTime": 569.84},{"body": "of the process is always, it's not always, but it's, it's to work on yourself and to do it for", "endTime": 582.72, "speaker": "", "startTime": 578.4},{"body": "your own reasons, to, to have some sort of drive and motivation to actually learn it and actually", "endTime": 590.0, "speaker": "", "startTime": 582.72},{"body": "understand it fully within yourself. And then, then that way you can do it outside yourself.", "endTime": 596.48, "speaker": "", "startTime": 590.0},{"body": "At least that's how I, like a lot of advice for app developers is make something that you want", "endTime": 602.24, "speaker": "", "startTime": 596.48},{"body": "and then see if there's a market for it or, or, or that kind of thing. Don't just make something", "endTime": 608.32, "speaker": "", "startTime": 603.04},{"body": "because it can be made. And that's, that's what I'm, that's what I'm thinking about. And that's", "endTime": 613.12, "speaker": "", "startTime": 608.32},{"body": "what I'm doing. Or that's just what I'm going towards. Kind of the, the different avenue", "endTime": 622.08, "speaker": "", "startTime": 613.12},{"body": "than a health coach that I'm coming to is a bit more like a yoga instructor.", "endTime": 630.4, "speaker": "", "startTime": 622.96},{"body": "And yoga has been a huge part of my healing journey.", "endTime": 635.36, "speaker": "", "startTime": 631.36},{"body": "But it's a bit, it's a bit more than, it's kind of like the cross between a yoga instructor and", "endTime": 643.76, "speaker": "", "startTime": 638.96},{"body": "a health coach. And in, in some circles that would be called a shaman because it's,", "endTime": 650.64, "speaker": "", "startTime": 643.76},{"body": "um, uh, because I, I want to help somebody. I want to focus on not just the physical body and not", "endTime": 661.28, "speaker": "", "startTime": 651.12},{"body": "just the mental body and not just the spiritual body, but all of them working together to heal,", "endTime": 667.2, "speaker": "", "startTime": 661.28},{"body": "to heal together. Because I, I realized from my path that I couldn't just heal one. I tried so", "endTime": 674.24, "speaker": "", "startTime": 668.0},{"body": "hard. I just cut out sugar. I just tried this diet and that diet and all these different singular", "endTime": 678.96, "speaker": "", "startTime": 674.24},{"body": "body things, and it didn't work. And I tried, um, looking into religions and looking into", "endTime": 685.12, "speaker": "", "startTime": 679.04},{"body": "philosophies and all that kind of stuff alone without trying to do anything else. And that", "endTime": 688.8, "speaker": "", "startTime": 685.12},{"body": "didn't work. And I tried, um, uh, I tried different therapies and different, um, uh,", "endTime": 696.88, "speaker": "", "startTime": 688.8},{"body": "practices for my mental health and all of those just alone. And that didn't work. And then when", "endTime": 700.88, "speaker": "", "startTime": 696.88},{"body": "I finally tried all of them together, that was when I could actually make real transformations", "endTime": 706.4, "speaker": "", "startTime": 700.88},{"body": "in my life. And I want, I want to like share that experience with people. I want to see", "endTime": 714.88, "speaker": "", "startTime": 706.4},{"body": "how different everybody is and how, what their needs are and where their balance is to,", "endTime": 724.56, "speaker": "", "startTime": 716.0},{"body": "to have, to have serenity, to have Buddhahood. I kind of feel like,", "endTime": 730.0, "speaker": "", "startTime": 725.92},{"body": "I don't want, I don't want to say, I want to say it, but I don't want to say it, but I feel,", "endTime": 735.44, "speaker": "", "startTime": 730.96},{"body": "I feel, I feel like a Buddha. I am so like this, this looming, this looming, uh, gigantic threat", "endTime": 747.6, "speaker": "", "startTime": 735.44},{"body": "over me, um, a big financial threat, a huge threat to my livelihood and my safety. Um,", "endTime": 761.76, "speaker": "", "startTime": 748.56},{"body": "and, and, and something that, that, that I'd built for over a decade, almost a decade and a half", "endTime": 768.56, "speaker": "", "startTime": 761.76},{"body": "could just be taken away from me. And I am serene. I am just like, yep. You know what?", "endTime": 775.76, "speaker": "", "startTime": 769.2},{"body": "Things come and go, you know, like you can't,", "endTime": 778.0, "speaker": "", "startTime": 775.92},{"body": "you can't have a beginning without an end that, or else there's no, it doesn't begin. It just is.", "endTime": 788.4, "speaker": "", "startTime": 781.04},{"body": "So, yeah. So I'm, I'm, uh, I'm not trying to be a Buddha, but I am, I'm, I'm thinking about trying", "endTime": 795.68, "speaker": "", "startTime": 789.6},{"body": "to be a shaman. And I don't know what that, I don't know what that word means to you as much", "endTime": 800.8, "speaker": "", "startTime": 795.68},{"body": "as it does to me. And also, uh, like I know that my wife, Margaret, she feels very differently", "endTime": 808.16, "speaker": "", "startTime": 800.8},{"body": "about that word. She's like, I think I'll call you a yoga instructor. Cause to her, there's a", "endTime": 814.96, "speaker": "", "startTime": 808.16},{"body": "bit of like, it's kind of an applied to Native American culture. And so it kind of feels", "endTime": 819.12, "speaker": "", "startTime": 814.96},{"body": "appropriative. Um, where to me, I like that word is like ancient. And so it's like, wait, like it's", "endTime": 825.76, "speaker": "", "startTime": 819.12},{"body": "that's just something Americans applied to Native Americans. And yes, I feel like it's", "endTime": 831.12, "speaker": "", "startTime": 825.76},{"body": "older than, than that culture. Yeah. Yeah. I think my attitudes towards those kinds of words", "endTime": 838.8, "speaker": "", "startTime": 831.12},{"body": "have that side of life, that more spiritual grounded, these things that have existed for", "endTime": 848.32, "speaker": "", "startTime": 839.6},{"body": "countless generations that we've, you know, perhaps forgotten about or neglected.", "endTime": 853.36, "speaker": "", "startTime": 849.44},{"body": "I have more space for them now than I ever did, but that still doesn't mean that I occasionally", "endTime": 861.2, "speaker": "", "startTime": 854.24},{"body": "caucus, not caucus snook, but cock and eyebrow sometimes, you know, and, and, you know, I sort", "endTime": 866.16, "speaker": "", "startTime": 861.2},{"body": "of, Ooh, is that, is that one way? Okay. Um, you know, I mean, I, I still refuse and I, I, I was", "endTime": 877.44, "speaker": "", "startTime": 866.16},{"body": "going this way for a little bit, but I still kind of refuse to call myself a coach. It, you know,", "endTime": 882.48, "speaker": "", "startTime": 877.44},{"body": "even though a fair amount of what I do is coachy, at least coachesque. Um, but I sort of bridle,", "endTime": 892.64, "speaker": "", "startTime": 882.48},{"body": "um, at that word, because there is still some baggage around it. There is still some,", "endTime": 899.04, "speaker": "", "startTime": 892.64},{"body": "some stuff around it that, that I can't quite reconcile.", "endTime": 903.04, "speaker": "", "startTime": 900.08},{"body": "Sure. Um, did you, did you have like organized sports when you were a kid and have,", "endTime": 907.04, "speaker": "", "startTime": 903.04},{"body": "have any coach issues or is that, is that some?", "endTime": 910.24, "speaker": "", "startTime": 907.04},{"body": "No, no, I, I don't see, I think I did see it in that kind of coach. Yeah. Like it's sort of", "endTime": 917.84, "speaker": "", "startTime": 910.24},{"body": "sporting metaphor before, but it's not a word we use as much here for, for sport.", "endTime": 923.52, "speaker": "", "startTime": 917.84},{"body": "Oh, sure. Is that trainer? What's uh,", "endTime": 925.28, "speaker": "", "startTime": 923.52},{"body": "Yeah, trainer. Um, I mean, yeah, team would have it. I don't know. Um, yeah, I, I, you know,", "endTime": 934.0, "speaker": "", "startTime": 925.28},{"body": "clearly I, I just, I didn't do enough sport for it to really register. Um,", "endTime": 937.76, "speaker": "", "startTime": 934.0},{"body": "but there's the sort of other, the other side of it, which is a little more akin to life coach", "endTime": 947.68, "speaker": "", "startTime": 940.32},{"body": "and, and that kind of stuff, which can be ill-defined, but that's usually by bad practitioners.", "endTime": 953.68, "speaker": "", "startTime": 947.68},{"body": "And that's the problem with a lot of this stuff is that we get these ideas, these,", "endTime": 957.84, "speaker": "", "startTime": 953.68},{"body": "these maladjusted ideas from people because they are the people who give that stuff a bad name.", "endTime": 962.64, "speaker": "", "startTime": 957.84},{"body": "Yeah, exactly. Had you ever had a, a, um, a life coach of any sort and were they any good?", "endTime": 968.16, "speaker": "", "startTime": 962.64},{"body": "I've had a sort of business coach and, and often, um, they merge because especially as a small", "endTime": 976.48, "speaker": "", "startTime": 968.8},{"body": "business, so much of, I'm really, really with anything like your life and your personality", "endTime": 982.0, "speaker": "", "startTime": 976.48},{"body": "and the stuff that makes you bleeds into what you do. Uh, and, and who you, you know, if you", "endTime": 987.84, "speaker": "", "startTime": 982.0},{"body": "lead people, then absolutely, you know, you're leading from your, from your personality and from", "endTime": 992.4, "speaker": "", "startTime": 987.84},{"body": "the baggage that you have. Uh, and so I had someone, we, I think we come at, we came at", "endTime": 999.28, "speaker": "", "startTime": 992.4},{"body": "things slightly differently in certain areas and it got to a point where I felt like the things", "endTime": 1006.0, "speaker": "", "startTime": 999.28},{"body": "that person wanted for me, weren't actually what I wanted at the time. And I think that", "endTime": 1013.76, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1007.44},{"body": "person was very aligned with the longterm goals of what I could achieve and was a good cheerleader.", "endTime": 1020.08, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1013.76},{"body": "But at the time I was like, I get that and I want to be there, but actually right now", "endTime": 1024.8, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1020.64},{"body": "I need stability and I need to put food on the table. You know, my, uh, my dad was ill last year", "endTime": 1030.8, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1025.36},{"body": "and I was getting into the moment of sort of thinking about transforming to a coach", "endTime": 1036.8, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1030.8},{"body": "for sort of creative people with creative people who kind of identify as neurodivergent in some", "endTime": 1045.44, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1037.76},{"body": "way. Um, and sort of helping them just, and I think what's interesting with a lot of this stuff is", "endTime": 1052.56, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1045.44},{"body": "people have this idea that you have to lead from this decades of experience or whatever, or that", "endTime": 1059.44, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1053.28},{"body": "you know all of these things. And actually so much of it, it isn't that it's, it's actually a lot more", "endTime": 1064.0, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1059.44},{"body": "a partnership. It's just someone who's maybe a couple of steps ahead of you on the path.", "endTime": 1069.04, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1064.08},{"body": "They still don't know the full direction, but maybe they've, you know, there are a couple", "endTime": 1073.28, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1069.68},{"body": "of steps ahead and they're holding your hand and that is underrated, I think. Um, and that's kind", "endTime": 1080.08, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1073.28},{"body": "of, I think what I was envisaging to a degree with, with what we're doing here is that it's,", "endTime": 1086.4, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1080.08},{"body": "it's a way of showing, it's a way of showing a path for people and to say, this is a valid path,", "endTime": 1092.32, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1086.4},{"body": "you know, because we're going to get into, certainly from my perspective, and I'm sure", "endTime": 1096.56, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1092.32},{"body": "yours as well, like how we're actually going to build what we're building, how we're going to", "endTime": 1100.8, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1096.56},{"body": "make what we're making and, and do things differently. Um, and it is, uh, I think a", "endTime": 1106.08, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1100.8},{"body": "way of demonstrating to us as well as to other people, like you can do it this way. It's okay.", "endTime": 1111.04, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1106.08},{"body": "There is a way forwards and we're finding this path where we're helping cut down some of the", "endTime": 1116.32, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1111.04},{"body": "trees. Um, and, but we're not that many steps ahead of anyone else. And we're both building", "endTime": 1121.76, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1116.32},{"body": "something new, but also we're, we're, we're doing, we're going to be doing it in different ways.", "endTime": 1128.8, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1121.84},{"body": "I can, I can predict. Yeah, that was well, I think, yeah, that will be interesting to,", "endTime": 1135.76, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1128.8},{"body": "to find out. So, um, okay. So I'll yeah. So I am in the process of building my second", "endTime": 1143.2, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1135.76},{"body": "media hosting platform after, um, I, the, the, the last one was sold. Uh, so two years later,", "endTime": 1149.68, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1144.0},{"body": "I'm at it again. Um, so for the two years after I'd sort of slightly wondered the wilderness a", "endTime": 1158.0, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1149.68},{"body": "little bit, trying on different clothes and figuring out whether they fit and not really", "endTime": 1164.32, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1158.0},{"body": "sort of finding things that I liked and finding elements that I enjoyed,", "endTime": 1168.4, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1165.2},{"body": "but it wasn't until I was on holiday and actually the plane ride back. Um, I had this moment of", "endTime": 1178.32, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1169.2},{"body": "going because I'd, I'd contemplated what would happen if you, you know, started doing the hosting", "endTime": 1184.56, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1178.32},{"body": "thing again and created a little platform and made it small and made it this, that, and the other.", "endTime": 1189.28, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1184.56},{"body": "Uh, and I'd sort of stopped and gone, no, no, I'm not doing it. I, you know, for all sorts of", "endTime": 1193.92, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1189.28},{"body": "different reasons. And I think, I think it was enough time had passed and, and my brain was", "endTime": 1201.12, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1193.92},{"body": "cleared, um, after a week drinking cocktails by the swimming pool that I, which is the really the", "endTime": 1209.2, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1201.12},{"body": "first time I've, I've had like an actual, like cliched, as you would say, vacation in a long", "endTime": 1214.96, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1209.2},{"body": "time where it was literally just the poolside, you know, kind of thing. Um, turns out they're", "endTime": 1220.16, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1214.96},{"body": "really useful for clearing, for clearing the mind. Um, and so, yeah, on the plane back, um,", "endTime": 1227.68, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1220.16},{"body": "most of the trip I spent with, with my phone in my, in my hot little hands, just like", "endTime": 1233.12, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1228.64},{"body": "jotting down ideas. Um, and by the time we'd gone through the baggage carousel and I was in the Uber", "endTime": 1242.48, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1233.12},{"body": "halfway through my Uber trip, I'd already got the name. Like I knew, I knew what it was. Um, and", "endTime": 1247.44, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1242.48},{"body": "I knew I wanted to do things a little differently. I knew I wanted to lean into being small", "endTime": 1253.44, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1248.72},{"body": "instead of having small man syndrome or small dog syndrome, you know, yapping like a little terrier,", "endTime": 1259.68, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1254.0},{"body": "uh, and, and jumping up at the table, trying to get his scraps, actually being a bit more", "endTime": 1264.08, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1259.68},{"body": "like a cat and curling up at the head of the table and just go, no, no, I like, I sit here now.", "endTime": 1268.24, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1264.08},{"body": "This is, this is where I sit. I already belong here. Um, and so, yeah, I'm, I'm in the process", "endTime": 1277.6, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1269.84},{"body": "now, you know, there's, there's, I've sort of launched in, in lowercase letters really way", "endTime": 1282.8, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1277.6},{"body": "before I was ready, um, which is fun and interesting. Um, we have our first, uh, customer", "endTime": 1290.4, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1282.8},{"body": "in that this is, uh, you know, uh, the podcast that's live to the world that is not made by me,", "endTime": 1295.76, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1290.4},{"body": "um, that is, that is hosted and it's working. Um, there are, you know, still things to do,", "endTime": 1304.24, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1295.76},{"body": "uh, but it's alive and it, yeah. And I did my first bit of press, uh, this week or it went", "endTime": 1313.04, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1304.88},{"body": "out this week. Um, and so I think this, this maybe brings us onto ways that we're doing things", "endTime": 1320.8, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1313.04},{"body": "differently. And over the last few weeks, I've been getting excited, but also,", "endTime": 1331.76, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1320.8},{"body": "um, tired thinking about the, the, you know, the marketing for something like this and, and,", "endTime": 1341.6, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1334.24},{"body": "and for any new projects, especially things like software projects, content marketing is the", "endTime": 1346.24, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1341.6},{"body": "cheapest, uh, and, and, you know, most effective possibly way of getting your stuff out there. Um,", "endTime": 1353.68, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1346.24},{"body": "to do it well, it takes a lot of time and skill and effort and time, um, and also time. And", "endTime": 1361.52, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1353.68},{"body": "the way I was going to do that was creating a whole new podcast project and a newsletter and", "endTime": 1368.4, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1363.12},{"body": "a whole lot of work. And I would go, I got really excited about it. I thought this is actually,", "endTime": 1372.08, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1368.4},{"body": "it's a really good idea. It's something that people need. It's something that I care about.", "endTime": 1375.2, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1372.08},{"body": "It's something that I can enjoy. And I got into it and started recording episodes. I made a theme", "endTime": 1380.48, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1375.2},{"body": "tune. I bought the domain names, all the things I set up, you know, did all the artwork. I joined a", "endTime": 1387.28, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1380.48},{"body": "podcast marketing, uh, the podcast marketing Academy so that I had as good. Yes. So that I", "endTime": 1396.08, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1388.4},{"body": "had as good a start as possible to get this off the ground. And then over the last week,", "endTime": 1402.4, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1396.08},{"body": "it's really hit me that it's all. And I know when I say it's all, I don't mean for everyone else,", "endTime": 1415.2, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1403.2},{"body": "but certainly for me, it all just feels like effort. And when I say effort, I don't just mean", "endTime": 1421.6, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1415.2},{"body": "hard work. I mean, it's, it's a lot of, it's a lot of, um, strokes to not swim very far.", "endTime": 1432.48, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1421.92},{"body": "Yeah. Uh, each time. Yeah. And against the current. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Um,", "endTime": 1440.0, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1432.48},{"body": "and I'm now 40 and I would like to, to, I'd like my, I'd like to have decided that my life has", "endTime": 1450.32, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1440.0},{"body": "started instead of waiting for it to start. Yeah. I'd like to actually go out and, and do things", "endTime": 1456.8, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1450.32},{"body": "and have moments where I sit and play a video game on a Saturday, because that's all I have to do", "endTime": 1462.8, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1456.8},{"body": "today. Um, because I, I've, I, you know, I, I haven't, I haven't decided that I have to have", "endTime": 1471.68, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1462.8},{"body": "all of this effort be expended because that's the only way I know how to move the needle.", "endTime": 1475.92, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1471.68},{"body": "What would happen if at least for a few months, I just followed my instinct and followed my", "endTime": 1483.44, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1476.64},{"body": "intuition and followed my imagination and inspiration and just went, let's see what,", "endTime": 1489.36, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1483.44},{"body": "let's see what's out there. Go on. Let's, let's just see, see what comes, see what appears,", "endTime": 1493.76, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1489.36},{"body": "um, say yes, you know, and at least just for a bit stop. So, uh, one, one final, one final thing,", "endTime": 1504.72, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1494.4},{"body": "and then I will, I will, you know, let you speak. Um, there is a thing from the hitchhiker's guide", "endTime": 1511.52, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1504.72},{"body": "to the galaxy, because of course there is, um, hi, I'm a nerd where, uh, our heroes are in a", "endTime": 1518.4, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1511.52},{"body": "spaceship and the spaceship is going up, down, backwards, every direction. And there are lights", "endTime": 1525.84, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1518.4},{"body": "all over the place and sirens and, and the ship is very unhappy and the ship is complaining.", "endTime": 1530.72, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1525.84},{"body": "And the, the two people who are piloting it, um, you know, fiddling with all these buttons and,", "endTime": 1536.24, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1530.72},{"body": "um, suddenly everything stops and, and the, the ship sort of moves serenely.", "endTime": 1540.08, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1536.24},{"body": "And someone in the back says, what happened? Did you suddenly make sense of the controls?", "endTime": 1542.96, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1540.08},{"body": "And they say, no, we just stopped fiddling with them. Clearly the ship has a better", "endTime": 1546.16, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1542.96},{"body": "idea of where it's going than we do. And I've been thinking about that for a while.", "endTime": 1551.2, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1546.16},{"body": "Why, why don't I stop trying to steer the ship and actually let the ship steer itself?", "endTime": 1557.6, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1552.8},{"body": "Because it might actually, it might have a sense of where, of where it wants to go.", "endTime": 1561.84, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1557.6},{"body": "It's worked before, uh, Podiant was a side project. Um, I didn't do any marketing for it.", "endTime": 1569.44, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1561.84},{"body": "Um, I just built a good product and I talked to people who I thought might be interested in it.", "endTime": 1577.12, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1570.56},{"body": "You can call that marketing, like absolutely. You can call that marketing, but it doesn't feel", "endTime": 1580.48, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1577.12},{"body": "like marketing. And that's the point. It's that push, um, the, the, it's that constant,", "endTime": 1586.32, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1580.48},{"body": "we've got to push that I'm really resisting. Um, so yeah.", "endTime": 1591.52, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1586.8},{"body": "Yeah. That's the same thing that happened with me with Rockstar is that, um, I, I didn't do", "endTime": 1596.4, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1591.52},{"body": "any marketing either. When I, when I very first started, I, I printed up little flyers with the", "endTime": 1602.08, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1596.4},{"body": "little tearaway tabs at the bottom of it and put them in, um, put them in some Fred Meyer,", "endTime": 1606.64, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1602.08},{"body": "some local grocery stores, bulletin boards and stuff. And the only calls I got from that", "endTime": 1611.04, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1606.64},{"body": "were from the yellow pages. Oh yes. From the white pages, the business things,", "endTime": 1616.16, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1611.04},{"body": "Oh, you need to advertise obviously. And so, you know, I didn't do that ever again,", "endTime": 1621.12, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1616.56},{"body": "but you know, I just, I just, uh, well, and I had a Craigslist ad, I think. Um,", "endTime": 1626.6, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1621.12},{"body": "and, and I think I only did that once because, uh, you know, I got my first client and then,", "endTime": 1634.24, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1628.32},{"body": "uh, word of mouth takes over and it's just, you know, uh, it, it, it, I, I never needed", "endTime": 1640.8, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1635.04},{"body": "to advertise in that whole time. And I don't plan on that again. Like that, I felt that was a", "endTime": 1649.28, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1640.8},{"body": "fantastic way to not swim against the tide of the current. And, uh, I have no interest", "endTime": 1657.28, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1650.08},{"body": "in trying to sell people on what I'm doing. I plan on showing them, show, just demonstrating", "endTime": 1666.0, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1657.28},{"body": "what I want to do and the people that want to find it will come. The people that want it or", "endTime": 1672.16, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1666.0},{"body": "need it will be there to, to find, like, that's, that's my, uh, it might be a bit Pollyanna,", "endTime": 1679.04, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1672.16},{"body": "I think. I don't, I don't know if that's the right term. Uh, but well, I think, I think we", "endTime": 1685.28, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1679.04},{"body": "should, we should, we should pull on that thread because that's one of the, the, the pieces of", "endTime": 1690.64, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1685.28},{"body": "advice that, that they, you know, we, we now 20 years on from, from the internet, uh, from the,", "endTime": 1696.48, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1690.64},{"body": "from sort of web 2.0, we sort of said that, you know, the light has been, has been proven on that,", "endTime": 1701.6, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1696.48},{"body": "you know, they, you can't say build it and they will come. But so I, I kind of want to know that", "endTime": 1706.8, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1701.6},{"body": "what's, because you can do the same thing, you know, like what I was hearing there is thinking", "endTime": 1712.72, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1706.8},{"body": "about, well, you, if we just say marketing is, is just telling people what you do and, and making", "endTime": 1720.16, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1712.72},{"body": "them interested, perhaps, uh, making them interested, but, you know, telling people what", "endTime": 1724.4, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1720.16},{"body": "you do and, and those who connect with it will connect with it. If we call that marketing,", "endTime": 1728.32, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1724.4},{"body": "then the best way to market is what you did is, you know, I think the Craigslist ad is great", "endTime": 1734.96, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1728.32},{"body": "actually, because, you know, I did something similar for, for Podiant, which is how really", "endTime": 1738.48, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1734.96},{"body": "everything started. I wrote a post on Medium. It got, you know, found by one guy and the rest", "endTime": 1743.36, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1738.48},{"body": "is history. Um, and, uh, you know, I think the same thing applies here, but then what you do", "endTime": 1748.32, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1743.36},{"body": "is you do the stuff is you do the thing that it is that you do. And then from there, you do that", "endTime": 1756.24, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1749.28},{"body": "and people like it and you do it well. And you encourage people to tell their friends and to", "endTime": 1761.52, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1756.24},{"body": "tell people and say, listen, if this was helpful for you, then please tell other people and maybe", "endTime": 1766.0, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1761.52},{"body": "you incentivize and, and yeah, and maybe that's marketing or maybe it's just running a good", "endTime": 1770.8, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1766.0},{"body": "business. And yeah.", "endTime": 1771.76, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1770.8},{"body": "Yeah. And yeah, for me, I guess, um, with, with the remodeling company,", "endTime": 1776.64, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1771.92},{"body": "my biggest saving grace was Yelp, which was such a blessing and a curse. Like, um, yeah,", "endTime": 1783.84, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1777.52},{"body": "I was constantly, I mean, you know, every, every, you know, so many businesses, so many people right", "endTime": 1788.48, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1783.84},{"body": "now are, are at the whims of what anybody can write in a starred review on the internet. But like,", "endTime": 1794.88, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1788.48},{"body": "um, I, you know, I, I got super lucky and fortunate that I had a bunch of good people", "endTime": 1802.96, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1795.68},{"body": "that I worked for that, that wrote good reviews. And when I was starting out doing remodeling,", "endTime": 1809.2, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1802.96},{"body": "um, Yelp was pretty new, especially Yelp for contractors. Like it was mostly just, um.", "endTime": 1816.4, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1809.92},{"body": "Yeah. I'd always associated with like restaurants and cafes and yeah.", "endTime": 1820.48, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1817.2},{"body": "Yeah. Um, but they had, you know, they had good Google, uh.", "endTime": 1825.12, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1820.48},{"body": "Google juice.", "endTime": 1826.72, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1825.92},{"body": "Juice. Yeah. Whatever one of the terms is. And, and so when people would search for", "endTime": 1832.32, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1826.72},{"body": "remodeling Portland, whatever, and the Yelp page would come up and it would show five stars because", "endTime": 1839.04, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1832.88},{"body": "I had like three to five, five stars early on. And that got me a lot of work, got me a lot of new", "endTime": 1845.2, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1839.04},{"body": "clients and that, that really helped. Um, so, you know, thinking about that, it's like, okay,", "endTime": 1853.44, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1845.2},{"body": "well, yeah, I'm going to want to try and mimic that probably. Um, and, and, and I can definitely", "endTime": 1859.04, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1853.44},{"body": "think of ways to do that and getting people around me that are interested in it. Cause I have a small", "endTime": 1864.24, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1859.04},{"body": "community here. Um, and that's another interesting difference between your, your startup and mine is,", "endTime": 1870.4, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1864.24},{"body": "is mine's going to be pretty local. Although I will have things that could be, um, distance", "endTime": 1877.92, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1870.4},{"body": "for sure, but primarily I'm going to be local. I'm, I'm, my idea is to have,", "endTime": 1882.64, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1877.92},{"body": "eventually have my own studio that's built up and has like a yoga area, sauna area and, and, and", "endTime": 1891.6, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1883.44},{"body": "coaching areas and, and, uh, this kind of oasis I want to build for people to come to and", "endTime": 1897.12, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1891.6},{"body": "connect with themselves. But, um, but yeah, it's, it's, it's going to be interesting to,", "endTime": 1902.8, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1897.68},{"body": "to think about the different ways to, to market and tell people about it.", "endTime": 1906.32, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1902.8},{"body": "I guess I could do a podcast about it. Cause that is the way that you build an audience.", "endTime": 1912.32, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1907.04},{"body": "I heard this from, uh, from the, uh, I was going to say, I heard it from the great rest. I didn't", "endTime": 1917.44, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1912.32},{"body": "know. And it's exactly the opposite of your advice. And so I don't want to put the opposite words in", "endTime": 1922.56, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1917.44},{"body": "your mouth. I was going through. Um, so one of the things that I'm doing at the moment is", "endTime": 1929.84, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1922.56},{"body": "contemplating, seriously contemplating, uh, getting rid of all sort of my past brand names.", "endTime": 1938.0, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1931.12},{"body": "Um, and just being Mark, um, instead of being origin, uh, I mean, you know,", "endTime": 1945.6, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1938.0},{"body": "Bramble has to have a name cause it's a thing. I can't call it Mark.", "endTime": 1948.32, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1945.6},{"body": "Um, where are you? Where are you hosting? Oh, it's on Mark.", "endTime": 1952.24, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1948.88},{"body": "Yeah, it's on, it's on Mark. Um, just over here on my left arm.", "endTime": 1956.48, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1952.88},{"body": "So, but everything else, um, origin podcast services has been the name of my business or", "endTime": 1963.44, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1958.32},{"body": "just origin as I, as I call it. Uh, that's been the name of my business for the last two years.", "endTime": 1967.68, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1963.44},{"body": "Um, and I've had all sorts of businesses, business names before never have I actually", "endTime": 1974.96, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1967.68},{"body": "just used my name. Um, and it's weird to sort of contemplate why that is and try and connect with", "endTime": 1983.04, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1974.96},{"body": "it. And there's, there's always been something, some kind of aversion from using just from it,", "endTime": 1992.96, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1983.04},{"body": "just being me, I think. Um, and, and connecting with me and especially as part of what I'm doing", "endTime": 1998.16, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1992.96},{"body": "is I'm mixing in all of the weird and, you know, varied things that I do making music that has no", "endTime": 2004.24, "speaker": "", "startTime": 1998.16},{"body": "consequence. Like, you know, it's not like, if you want to buy a track, that's great, but that's", "endTime": 2010.32, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2004.24},{"body": "not, you know, what I'm banking on. And then there's the kid's book and other bits of writing", "endTime": 2015.76, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2010.32},{"body": "and weird little video game toys that I've made and all those kinds of things. I want them all to", "endTime": 2021.52, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2015.76},{"body": "be part of the same place and you can engage with those and then think, okay, well, I want to work", "endTime": 2027.04, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2021.52},{"body": "with this guy to help me make a thing or to help me just be alongside me when I'm making my thing", "endTime": 2033.04, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2027.04},{"body": "week in week out and no one seems to be engaging with it. Like, you know, what can we do there?", "endTime": 2037.04, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2033.12},{"body": "Um, and all that kind of stuff is interesting, but it's, it's, it's all, you know, just being", "endTime": 2042.4, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2037.04},{"body": "that, that one person. What does that, how does that ring, you know, for you as someone again,", "endTime": 2050.48, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2042.4},{"body": "who's had a brand name, uh, with Rockstar, what are you sort of thinking it's going to be Brendan?", "endTime": 2059.68, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2050.48},{"body": "Um, you know, is that something that you've, you've given any thought to?", "endTime": 2063.12, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2059.68},{"body": "I actually haven't. Um, you, uh, I love, I love how fast you come up with names for things and", "endTime": 2071.44, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2063.12},{"body": "it's always just like, so spot on. It's so, I love the names, like even for this podcast,", "endTime": 2077.52, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2071.44},{"body": "it was like, oh, perfect. Um, don't even have to think about it. Just yes. Uh, and", "endTime": 2084.88, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2077.52},{"body": "like Rockstar came to me pretty easily because I was just, uh, you know, I was just remote. I was,", "endTime": 2090.16, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2085.28},{"body": "I was doing handyman services on the side. I was, I was, uh, um, I was an electrician", "endTime": 2094.48, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2090.16},{"body": "working for a shop and they, um, uh, the recession was hitting. And so there was fewer and fewer", "endTime": 2103.36, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2094.48},{"body": "electrical jobs to do. And so I was just picking up more and more side gigs. And eventually that", "endTime": 2108.24, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2103.36},{"body": "was my full-time job was side gigs and there was no electrical. And I was like, well,", "endTime": 2112.48, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2108.24},{"body": "I mean, here I am, I guess I should make a company. And, um, uh, at the time being young", "endTime": 2119.36, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2112.88},{"body": "and dumb and naive about, um, uh, what I was doing to my body, I was drinking a ton", "endTime": 2126.08, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2119.36},{"body": "of Rockstar energy drinks. And then also, um, I, I would listen to music cause I hadn't discovered", "endTime": 2133.2, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2126.08},{"body": "podcasts yet. I would listen to music while I was working and I would, I would be singing along", "endTime": 2137.68, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2133.2},{"body": "because I just can't help it. If there's music playing and I know any of the tone and the melody", "endTime": 2143.76, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2137.76},{"body": "or the lyrics I'm going to be singing. And, uh, like I had, I had multiple clients tell me,", "endTime": 2152.32, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2143.76},{"body": "are you going to be a Rockstar? Cause like what we, this is, this is great. And, and so it just,", "endTime": 2159.04, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2152.32},{"body": "the, the name just kind of fell into me. And, and then I love the alliteration of the RR. Um,", "endTime": 2165.2, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2159.04},{"body": "and, and so that, that was just easy. And I'm, you know, hoping that something similar will", "endTime": 2172.4, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2165.6},{"body": "happen with this. I don't, um, I don't particularly like the sound of Brendan,", "endTime": 2178.88, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2172.4},{"body": "the shaman, uh, that doesn't, that's not ringing true to me. Um, uh, but I'm, I'm thinking that", "endTime": 2186.48, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2178.88},{"body": "something, something will come up. Uh, and I'm at this point, there's so many things that have", "endTime": 2192.24, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2186.48},{"body": "happened for me in my life recently, including this podcast where everything just fell into place", "endTime": 2200.64, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2193.2},{"body": "because I am just, I'm, I, what I'm feeling is just open to the universe. I'm just like,", "endTime": 2206.0, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2201.28},{"body": "I'm here. Um, this is what I want to do. This is on my manifestation list. This is,", "endTime": 2212.16, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2206.56},{"body": "this is what I'm calling in. Um, I feel expanded. I feel, I know other people are out there doing", "endTime": 2219.2, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2212.16},{"body": "it. Other people are just people like me. I'm just a person. They're just a person.", "endTime": 2222.56, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2219.2},{"body": "They can have it. I can have it. Um, and I, I feel, uh, just accepting and knowing that", "endTime": 2231.92, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2223.36},{"body": "what I need is going to come. And I feel, I guess, I guess that's faith, but it doesn't feel like", "endTime": 2239.52, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2231.92},{"body": "faith, like faith. It almost seems a little bit like worrying, like, uh, that there is any", "endTime": 2244.4, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2239.52},{"body": "possibility that it wouldn't happen, but you have faith that it will anyway.", "endTime": 2248.8, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2244.4},{"body": "Um, and maybe that's just, uh, I think, I think that's a little bit of baggage. I,", "endTime": 2254.64, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2248.8},{"body": "I carry from my mother's faith, but anyways, um, I, I, I feel secure. I feel like", "endTime": 2262.96, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2254.64},{"body": "it's going to happen and I am excited to see it unfold. And so the name I had not given any", "endTime": 2270.16, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2263.6},{"body": "thought, and I probably will more now that you ask, maybe we can talk about that next week, but,", "endTime": 2276.0, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2270.16},{"body": "um, uh, I'm, I'm excited to find out, uh, and, and tell you all about it when I do.", "endTime": 2283.36, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2276.56},{"body": "There's an interesting phenomenon, phenomenon, um, around new projects. And I think I am", "endTime": 2295.28, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2284.64},{"body": "guilty of this myself, um, that when you tell people about something that you haven't done yet", "endTime": 2303.76, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2295.28},{"body": "or that you're planning to do, you get the dopamine hit from talking about it and you get the, you", "endTime": 2309.36, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2303.76},{"body": "know, the, the hit of the project without actually doing any of the work. Uh, and that can have some,", "endTime": 2313.84, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2309.36},{"body": "some knock on effects. That sounded like that resonated. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. No, I, I get so", "endTime": 2320.64, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2313.84},{"body": "excited about things. I get so excited about ideas and, uh, and I, I definitely talk about", "endTime": 2326.8, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2320.64},{"body": "them way too early and I'm like, Oh, I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this. I'm going to,", "endTime": 2330.56, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2326.8},{"body": "I've been, I've been, I've had this idea. I've had this, um, this long-term plan of a,", "endTime": 2337.84, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2330.56},{"body": "a sort of compound. I mean, really it would just be like the, the place I want to live.", "endTime": 2344.88, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2339.12},{"body": "I want to have a place that's a little bit farther out from the city. Like right now I'm,", "endTime": 2349.2, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2344.88},{"body": "I'm in the state, I'm in Portland and, uh, you know, someplace that's maybe 15 miles out,", "endTime": 2358.08, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2349.2},{"body": "20 miles out that, that I've got a decent chunk of land, maybe like 10 acres. And", "endTime": 2365.36, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2358.64},{"body": "there's some sort of water that goes through the property so that I could make ponds or lakes or,", "endTime": 2373.52, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2366.88},{"body": "or use that water for power or something. Um, there's a decent amount of space that I could", "endTime": 2380.16, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2373.52},{"body": "set up a shop and like build tiny homes, certain amount of space that those tiny", "endTime": 2386.32, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2380.88},{"body": "homes could be set up and used as either rentals or, um, uh, or, or, or showcase because, uh,", "endTime": 2394.16, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2386.32},{"body": "cause tiny home building was my previous big, big new stage in life. That was going to be", "endTime": 2400.24, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2394.16},{"body": "the next thing that I was going to do. And it still might be, I'm not writing that off. I,", "endTime": 2404.32, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2400.24},{"body": "I love tiny homes. I love the design. I love the, the, the rethinking of housing and the", "endTime": 2412.96, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2404.32},{"body": "minimalism of it, the, the aesthetics of it, the, the creativity and, and, and, and again,", "endTime": 2420.32, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2412.96},{"body": "to reiterate, to reiterate it, the design, the thoughtfulness that's put into the,", "endTime": 2424.8, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2420.32},{"body": "the use of space and the use of anything that's part of it. That's, that's so important to me.", "endTime": 2432.72, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2425.76},{"body": "And, uh, and then you, I also had an even bigger pie in the sky ideas about having,", "endTime": 2438.64, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2434.4},{"body": "um, uh, using that water, pumping it through a solar water heater that I could, that I've", "endTime": 2447.2, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2439.6},{"body": "designed in my head to make, um, man-made hot springs pools and, uh, to carve out a space,", "endTime": 2457.52, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2447.2},{"body": "uh, for, uh, for an amphitheater that, that could have the hot springs flowing through that. So you", "endTime": 2469.36, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2458.32},{"body": "could be in your hot springs listening to at the amphitheater. Like I had so many cool ideas. Um,", "endTime": 2475.84, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2469.36},{"body": "and you know, they might still happen in like 15 years, but it's probably not.", "endTime": 2480.16, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2475.92},{"body": "It's, it's probably just a fantastic idea that I'm always going to cherish in my mind.", "endTime": 2485.28, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2480.72},{"body": "Well, what it sounds to me, cause I was thinking this earlier when you described", "endTime": 2491.68, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2487.12},{"body": "what you wanted to build with the studio.", "endTime": 2495.2, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2493.04},{"body": "Yeah. That's much more likely where I'm going to be putting a lot of these cool ideas", "endTime": 2500.4, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2495.2},{"body": "in a smaller scale that's more approachable to people.", "endTime": 2503.92, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2500.4},{"body": "Sure. But what I get the vibe of is really a retreat center.", "endTime": 2510.24, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2503.92},{"body": "Um, especially I was thinking with the tiny homes, because how cool would that be for a", "endTime": 2518.96, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2512.32},{"body": "group of individuals to come together? Maybe it's a cohort, maybe, maybe, you know, it's,", "endTime": 2525.12, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2518.96},{"body": "it's another organization who want to bring their people to you. Maybe it's a group of people you've", "endTime": 2529.04, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2525.12},{"body": "brought together, um, to, to, to, to do this, come and join you for a week, um, you know,", "endTime": 2535.28, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2529.04},{"body": "of reconnecting with themselves, rediscovering things, um, detoxing, you know, any, any,", "endTime": 2541.6, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2535.28},{"body": "anything like that and giving people these homes that they can spend a week in.", "endTime": 2546.16, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2541.6},{"body": "Uh, and then also these, these other sort of healing things like the hot springs and all", "endTime": 2550.56, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2546.72},{"body": "that kind of stuff. And the, you know, put on a bit of music, like it's actually not dissimilar", "endTime": 2554.8, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2550.56},{"body": "in, in some of the circles that I've, I've moved in over the last few years.", "endTime": 2558.4, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2554.8},{"body": "Um, you know, I go to my business hippie festival, um, and they have a band on a night", "endTime": 2565.36, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2558.4},{"body": "on the Friday night. Uh, and there's tents with other stuff going on. There's, there's music,", "endTime": 2571.6, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2566.08},{"body": "there's food, there's, uh, massaging, there's, uh, lakes. You can do some cold water swimming", "endTime": 2577.28, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2571.6},{"body": "or wild swimming. There's a hot tub, there's a sauna, and it's all just in a field.", "endTime": 2581.76, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2577.28},{"body": "Uh, and they, they, they put it up, uh, and it's there for three days and then they tear it all", "endTime": 2586.08, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2581.76},{"body": "down. Um, and I don't know, there's, there's something really, yeah, like that's, you could", "endTime": 2594.64, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2586.08},{"body": "do that. Yeah. Yeah, I can. And honestly, that is, yes, the combination of these two dreams is,", "endTime": 2602.88, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2594.64},{"body": "is literally the dream. Like that, that would be a big, a big, uh,", "endTime": 2609.84, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2602.88},{"body": "a major thought has been that this would be the, the compound, the, the, the buildup would be,", "endTime": 2619.92, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2611.92},{"body": "uh, a resort of some sort. Like people would come and stay in the tiny homes.", "endTime": 2624.16, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2619.92},{"body": "Like I would, we could put on festivals. Um, like I'm, I'm over the past three years, I've been", "endTime": 2630.64, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2624.16},{"body": "super into dance music and dance and the dance music, the section of dance music I, I like,", "endTime": 2636.8, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2630.72},{"body": "um, puts on a yearly festival in, uh, the Washington state desert. Uh, it's called", "endTime": 2646.8, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2637.84},{"body": "the Gorge Amphitheater. And it, it, it's this incredible space that's overlooking, uh, a section", "endTime": 2654.96, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2646.8},{"body": "of a river. And there's just like nothing but desert, nothing, but nothing, uh, anywhere you", "endTime": 2660.56, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2654.96},{"body": "can see, except for this big grassy lawn that just slopes down to this perfect stage.", "endTime": 2666.8, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2660.56},{"body": "And the, the festival that they put on, um, it's called the Above and Beyond", "endTime": 2674.56, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2668.72},{"body": "Group Therapy Weekender. And it's a yoga mindfulness dance, uh, festival. And it's", "endTime": 2681.44, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2674.56},{"body": "just, it's, it's, it's perfect. It's perfect for me. It's perfect for everybody that comes.", "endTime": 2686.72, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2681.44},{"body": "We all love it to death. And I mean, more or less what I want to do is just make that as my home.", "endTime": 2694.72, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2687.28},{"body": "And, and I want, I want to live in that all the time. I want, I want the mindfulness. I want the,", "endTime": 2699.52, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2694.72},{"body": "the meditations on the yoga. I want the dance music around me always. And I want other people", "endTime": 2705.92, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2699.52},{"body": "to come and enjoy that too, because I don't want to just be dancing. I mean, I love dancing alone.", "endTime": 2710.64, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2705.92},{"body": "I do it every day, but I, like, I want, I want to share this, this love and this vision and this", "endTime": 2717.68, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2710.64},{"body": "place and the serenity. Um, and I think I can do that. And I think I can, I can make a play and I,", "endTime": 2725.36, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2717.68},{"body": "you know, and so, yeah, so it'd be the idea of building a bunch of tiny homes, which I", "endTime": 2729.84, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2725.36},{"body": "love and people love, people would love to stay in tiny homes. And then, you know,", "endTime": 2735.44, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2729.84},{"body": "there could be like a, a festival going on. It could be, you know, with actual acts that come in", "endTime": 2742.16, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2735.44},{"body": "and out, but, or people could just be using the space as a retreat, as a, as a cool down, as a,", "endTime": 2748.48, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2742.16},{"body": "uh, a rock relaxing getaway and, and, and probably a bunch of other types of,", "endTime": 2755.12, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2749.12},{"body": "um, uses for the space as well. And in addition to my housing, but yeah, that's,", "endTime": 2763.92, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2755.92},{"body": "that's definitely the long-term. That's the, that's the big goal. It feels, it feels realistic", "endTime": 2770.48, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2763.92},{"body": "and, uh, something else, not, not unrealistic, but ambitious. Yeah. It, it does, it does feel", "endTime": 2781.04, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2770.48},{"body": "ambitious. That's a great word for it. One of the things that, uh, I think prompted us to, um,", "endTime": 2786.24, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2781.04},{"body": "have this end up having this discussion is something that I put on one of my little ramble", "endTime": 2791.36, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2786.24},{"body": "casts, which it's, it's weird. I, I don't know that I have a, like a long-term vision like that.", "endTime": 2798.4, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2791.36},{"body": "I don't, you know, I don't really have, I never really have had dreams. I weirdly enough, uh,", "endTime": 2806.24, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2799.76},{"body": "in my, my former therapist asked me about my bucket list at one point. And I was like, I don't,", "endTime": 2812.48, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2806.24},{"body": "I don't have one. Um, and I started trying to work on one for whatever reason. I, I sort of,", "endTime": 2819.76, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2813.28},{"body": "I don't have those big long-term things and I think that's really interesting, but I, I, I have,", "endTime": 2824.48, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2819.76},{"body": "I set out these, these little ideas for things that are sort of, you know, medium term, I guess,", "endTime": 2830.88, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2824.48},{"body": "like five years or whatever. Um, and the difficulty I have is that I mess up the perspective. And so", "endTime": 2837.28, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2830.88},{"body": "if you think about the artwork for this podcast, if you, if you take out your phone and have a look,", "endTime": 2841.92, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2837.28},{"body": "um, it's, it's this, it's this road and, and, you know, convergence, meaning those, those,", "endTime": 2846.8, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2841.92},{"body": "the two lines on the road converging to one. And what I so often do in my mind without", "endTime": 2852.64, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2846.8},{"body": "realizing it is I take that idea and bring the compress that whole distance. And so everything", "endTime": 2863.76, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2852.64},{"body": "becomes a bit like, um, like a theater set. If you, you know, if you walk alongside, you know,", "endTime": 2872.16, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2863.76},{"body": "just to sidle up against the theater set, you actually see how it's two dimensional.", "endTime": 2876.32, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2872.16},{"body": "And it's not this big, long stretching road. It's actually just a piece of card that's been", "endTime": 2881.36, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2877.12},{"body": "painted. And I sort of do that. And so what that ends up doing is this sort of five year timeline", "endTime": 2887.52, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2881.36},{"body": "gets compressed and I become impatient and I want it to happen now when I don't understand", "endTime": 2891.92, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2887.52},{"body": "why it's not, not happening now. And all these milestones, I can see them right there because", "endTime": 2895.44, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2891.92},{"body": "of course I've brought them right close to me instead of what they are far off. And, and it's", "endTime": 2901.12, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2895.44},{"body": "one of the things I think I've really struggled with and, and it's kind of led me to, to thinking", "endTime": 2906.4, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2901.12},{"body": "again about what would happen if I, if I stopped, you know, looking for this map or stopped looking", "endTime": 2914.16, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2907.12},{"body": "for the next mile marker, um, and, and just, you know, let, let the universe happen. Um, and I,", "endTime": 2922.48, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2914.16},{"body": "I like that we've got these two different approaches here because yeah, that is a dream.", "endTime": 2927.2, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2922.48},{"body": "And I think I've, I've almost never, never dared to, I think there's something in there about like", "endTime": 2934.56, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2927.84},{"body": "not even daring to dream. And I think that's interesting. Like", "endTime": 2937.84, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2934.56},{"body": "you're daring to dream and I think that's awesome. Yeah. I, uh, man, I, I,", "endTime": 2942.72, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2937.84},{"body": "I can't say that I relate to that, that flattening, but that's such a, uh, visceral analogy that I", "endTime": 2951.76, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2944.4},{"body": "can understand it really well. Um, that's, that's, that's really interesting to think about.", "endTime": 2957.28, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2951.76},{"body": "Do you have any fears around this not working? I think I did when I said to myself,", "endTime": 2968.16, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2957.84},{"body": "this has to work. And that's been part of the thing with the, this, this podcast, the,", "endTime": 2974.48, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2968.16},{"body": "the former one that, uh, I'm, you know, I'm not cancelling, but I'm putting on pause", "endTime": 2978.64, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2974.48},{"body": "just like ListNV. I can't bear to think that ListNV is probably my favourite ever show.", "endTime": 2983.84, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2978.64},{"body": "I can't bear to think that it's, it's gone away. It's just on pause because I love it. Um,", "endTime": 2989.2, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2983.84},{"body": "I think because I decided that it, like I said, with the previous podcast, that it had to work,", "endTime": 2996.56, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2990.72},{"body": "that, that puts the pressure on because it's then like, well, this is, this has got to work.", "endTime": 3002.72, "speaker": "", "startTime": 2998.48},{"body": "This is the next thing. Do you thrive on that pressure or do you, is that, does that hinder?", "endTime": 3007.36, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3002.72},{"body": "Well, oh, that's interesting. Actually. I think I have done, and I think it's, it's,", "endTime": 3013.12, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3007.84},{"body": "it's fuelled me. I don't think thrive is necessarily the word because", "endTime": 3016.24, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3013.12},{"body": "that would suggest it's kind of nourishing. Uh, and I think it's, it's a bit more", "endTime": 3021.6, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3017.68},{"body": "depleting over time because it is, it's this constant, it's this constant voice of should,", "endTime": 3028.4, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3023.28},{"body": "it's a, it's a, it's a big should. Um, if I, uh, lean down here, there is a, um, piece of,", "endTime": 3038.64, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3028.96},{"body": "of, uh, there was an illustration that I got as part of my 40th birthday, uh, present, and it is", "endTime": 3046.56, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3038.64},{"body": "a depiction of me as if I were a Simpsons. Um, and there's my, my two nephews and my two cats", "endTime": 3053.68, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3046.56},{"body": "and my, uh, the people who made this for me, the people who commissioned it are very lovely", "endTime": 3060.64, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3054.24},{"body": "and loving, um, and supportive. The problem is when I looked at this,", "endTime": 3066.96, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3060.64},{"body": "it, I, I, I nearly cried. It kind of broke my heart because the logo that's on my t-shirt", "endTime": 3073.44, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3067.92},{"body": "is for one of these projects that had to work because it was the next big thing, next big thing.", "endTime": 3080.0, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3074.24},{"body": "And I had to kill it off last year because it just wasn't working.", "endTime": 3084.24, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3080.0},{"body": "It was, you know, it's such a lovely thing to be, you know, to be so grateful for this,", "endTime": 3088.8, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3085.2},{"body": "for this gift. Um, but also, oh, that's a constant. And, you know, that might be why I haven't", "endTime": 3096.48, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3088.8},{"body": "hung it up yet. Um, because I love the sentiment behind it and I love the support behind it,", "endTime": 3102.56, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3096.48},{"body": "but it's hard to have your failure almost literally on your chest because this was what", "endTime": 3109.12, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3102.56},{"body": "I thought I was going to be. I thought I was going to be an educator. I thought I was going to,", "endTime": 3113.04, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3109.12},{"body": "um, produce and make content that was going to teach people how to make the best podcast", "endTime": 3118.48, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3113.84},{"body": "that they possibly can. And the universe went, no, you're not. Um, good try, but let's, uh,", "endTime": 3126.48, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3118.48},{"body": "let's, let's think again. Yeah, exactly. Um, yeah. Restart the game over. Um, and you know,", "endTime": 3134.56, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3126.48},{"body": "I got into debt and, and all, all sorts of things. And there, you know, there are other,", "endTime": 3141.04, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3135.44},{"body": "other factors that, that, uh, made it sort of not work. Um, and you know, hindsight can always tell", "endTime": 3148.64, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3141.04},{"body": "you, here are some reasons why, why it didn't work. And it's like, that's great, but could", "endTime": 3152.72, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3148.64},{"body": "have used those before. Um, so, but a lot of that, the difficulty there was that pressure of, well,", "endTime": 3161.44, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3152.72},{"body": "this is the next thing. This is what I'm doing. This has got to work and it's got to work because", "endTime": 3166.64, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3161.44},{"body": "you get into this like Ouroboros snake eating itself thing of, I'm trying to make this work,", "endTime": 3171.76, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3166.64},{"body": "which means I'm not like, I'm meeting all my client obligations, but I'm not", "endTime": 3175.92, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3171.76},{"body": "really working that hard and getting new clients because I'm building this new thing.", "endTime": 3181.6, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3177.28},{"body": "And so now it's got to work because I'm not bringing in any new business. And so it just,", "endTime": 3186.56, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3181.6},{"body": "it becomes this, this millstone and this, this horrible, you know, it kind of becomes a little", "endTime": 3191.76, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3186.56},{"body": "bit toxic. Um, and so for me, because I'm not putting that pressure on Bramble,", "endTime": 3198.64, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3191.76},{"body": "it it's, I'm letting it be a side project for now. And I'm also letting it be a home for,", "endTime": 3206.4, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3200.32},{"body": "for, you know, where I keep my podcasts and a way for me to do podcasting in the way that I want to", "endTime": 3211.2, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3206.4},{"body": "do it. Um, and in the way that I think certain things should be done and make sense to me. Um,", "endTime": 3218.64, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3211.2},{"body": "and because it's that it's sort of already is sort of already works. Um, if I can get to my,", "endTime": 3228.88, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3219.36},{"body": "you know, target number of customers, then absolutely it would have worked, but", "endTime": 3232.16, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3228.88},{"body": "it's only a failure if I, cause a side project can't really be a failure. It's only a failure", "endTime": 3240.4, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3233.84},{"body": "if you, if you decide this has to be everything, this has to be the next thing. This has to work.", "endTime": 3247.84, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3240.4},{"body": "This is my escape module. Um, this is my parachute on the way on the way out.", "endTime": 3253.12, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3248.4},{"body": "And if then the parachute fails to deploy, then it's a failure. Uh, otherwise it's just a piece", "endTime": 3259.84, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3254.32},{"body": "of canvas. It's, it's only by making it the parachute and by putting that by assigning", "endTime": 3267.04, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3259.84},{"body": "it that, that you then make it, you know, this thing that can fail.", "endTime": 3270.88, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3267.04},{"body": "I have this, I have this thought about, about all that. Um, and, and I've kind of alluded to it", "endTime": 3279.92, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3272.24},{"body": "before because of, I've talked about how, how serene I feel and how, how open to the universe I", "endTime": 3284.96, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3279.92},{"body": "feel, but like right now I have no fear around success or failure. Failure isn't a possibility.", "endTime": 3295.68, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3284.96},{"body": "It's an inevitability. Like eventually it's entropy. Yeah, sure. It's going to stop. Like,", "endTime": 3302.72, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3295.68},{"body": "you know, and so unless we, we define success to include the inevitable ending,", "endTime": 3309.68, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3302.72},{"body": "which is a beautiful thought. I don't, I don't really want to do that right now,", "endTime": 3315.04, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3310.72},{"body": "but I, I, you know, I could do that in the future maybe. But like, there is no beginning", "endTime": 3319.36, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3315.04},{"body": "without an end to define it. There's no black without a white to contrast it. There's no success", "endTime": 3324.96, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3319.36},{"body": "without failure to compare it to. And so to me, there's no, there's nothing to fear. There's only", "endTime": 3331.04, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3324.96},{"body": "to do. I like that a lot. Um, yeah, I, I, yeah, that makes me think about, you know, something", "endTime": 3339.2, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3331.04},{"body": "like what I'm building at some point it is going to not be a thing anymore for a variety of reasons.", "endTime": 3347.12, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3339.2},{"body": "It might be because the, the, the person I've passed it down to after I've died, you know, uh,", "endTime": 3353.68, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3347.12},{"body": "once you want someone else to run it or once or whatever, or it's, it's given over to the people", "endTime": 3359.36, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3353.68},{"body": "and it, uh, it becomes something on a new internet and it's, it's distributed. It's peer to peer.", "endTime": 3365.6, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3359.36},{"body": "And it just, it doesn't need a single server anymore, or it could die, you know, for another", "endTime": 3370.64, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3365.6},{"body": "reason. Um, but I love that failure or an, an, an end is inevitable. The thing that you've made", "endTime": 3379.6, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3370.64},{"body": "is finite as we are finite. And so yeah, don't like don't stress it too much. And I, I'm, I, I'm,", "endTime": 3390.24, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3380.56},{"body": "I'm aware because like, you know, I would hope there are all sorts of different people who might", "endTime": 3396.16, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3390.24},{"body": "listen to this. I'm aware that cause I've, I've bridled against this sometimes before of like,", "endTime": 3403.44, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3396.16},{"body": "that's all very well and good. Um, but you know, I'm trying to make a thing or I'm trying to build", "endTime": 3409.36, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3404.16},{"body": "and it's got to work or whatever. But I think we're trying to come at this from having been in", "endTime": 3414.88, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3409.36},{"body": "that position before and having realized that actually doesn't help. And I also know again,", "endTime": 3422.48, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3414.88},{"body": "it's like, yeah, well you can say that or whatever, but it's true. Um, caring, really", "endTime": 3431.04, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3422.48},{"body": "wanting something to happen, really being earnest and putting all of your effort and all of those", "endTime": 3438.88, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3431.04},{"body": "eggs in that basket and all of those, and it mattering so much and it having to, none of that", "endTime": 3445.04, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3438.88},{"body": "is actually fuel for the project. None of that actually makes it, makes the boat go faster to,", "endTime": 3452.32, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3445.04},{"body": "to quote a book. Like none of that actually helps. Um, worrying about it, thinking about it,", "endTime": 3459.12, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3452.32},{"body": "just like it, it doesn't. Um, what helps is, is the right, is, is right action.", "endTime": 3465.36, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3459.12},{"body": "Yes. Good words. Which is a Buddhist thing, isn't it? You would know. Um, yeah. And it's, it's", "endTime": 3473.44, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3465.6},{"body": "a right action. I think of with, uh, with the program to be magnetic, they have it part of,", "endTime": 3482.8, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3475.84},{"body": "or, um, yeah. Right. Yeah. Right. Action. That does sound Buddhist.", "endTime": 3487.52, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3482.8},{"body": "That's, I think that's what we're coming down to now is, is, uh, as we, we, you know,", "endTime": 3492.64, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3488.16},{"body": "contemplate bringing this to a close, um, is I think what we're trying to figure out is", "endTime": 3498.8, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3492.64},{"body": "how we can navigate after having spent time navigating things that", "endTime": 3504.48, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3499.76},{"body": "may in some ways be a bit more traditional, or we've had the sort of a monkey on our back", "endTime": 3511.84, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3505.28},{"body": "that tells us we should be doing things more traditionally, having known when that's worked", "endTime": 3515.84, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3511.84},{"body": "for us and when that hasn't. Um, it's now about looking at what happens when we do things the", "endTime": 3523.2, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3515.84},{"body": "Mark way or the Brendan way, um, which is to say your way, um, what, you know, what, what would", "endTime": 3529.84, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3523.2},{"body": "happen and that can only really work if you don't put this tremendous amount of pressure on yourself.", "endTime": 3536.96, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3529.84},{"body": "If you don't decide this has to work, if you, if you don't put that on you, then I think you can", "endTime": 3544.32, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3536.96},{"body": "do it your way because to quote one of my favorite songs by Louis Armstrong, we have all the time in", "endTime": 3551.2, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3544.32},{"body": "the world. Um, and it doesn't have to be, we don't have to rush because, and then we, you know,", "endTime": 3562.48, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3551.2},{"body": "one last thought is, is for me anyway, is, uh, the Oliver, Oliver Berkman book, 10,000 weeks", "endTime": 3568.64, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3562.48},{"body": "was a subtle revelation for me. And it kind of talked about how we don't have actually that", "endTime": 3575.6, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3569.44},{"body": "many weeks in our lives. Um, and if we spend all our time going, I'll be happy when, um,", "endTime": 3583.84, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3575.6},{"body": "I'll be happy when I've launched Bramble. I'll be happy when Bramble gets 400 customers. I'll", "endTime": 3588.48, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3583.84},{"body": "be happy when Bramble gets in this news thing. Like, and I've been there, absolutely been there.", "endTime": 3594.32, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3588.48},{"body": "And I bet you have as well. Oh yeah. Not at all. You got to live in the moment. You got to enjoy", "endTime": 3599.52, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3594.32},{"body": "this. You got to enjoy the building of it. Enjoy the thought of it and enjoy and revel in it and", "endTime": 3607.04, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3600.4},{"body": "be, be in the moment. Yes. Yeah. Cause you're only going to get this chance to build it once.", "endTime": 3612.4, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3607.04},{"body": "Well, once you rebuild it again, but that's not the, not the point,", "endTime": 3615.44, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3612.4},{"body": "but this thing that you're building right now, this thing that's happening only happens once", "endTime": 3621.6, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3617.28},{"body": "this moment is only happening right now. And that's amazing. Um, do we, uh, do we have time", "endTime": 3627.12, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3621.6},{"body": "for a little bit of homework? Oh, please. Um, and this is, uh, this is pretty far out of left field,", "endTime": 3633.6, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3627.12},{"body": "but I think that this, this could be something cool to give us a common language as we, um,", "endTime": 3640.24, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3633.6},{"body": "as we work on this, on these separate projects together. And, and it is, it is pretty,", "endTime": 3647.6, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3641.28},{"body": "uh, a step away from what we have been talking about, but I think it can relate over,", "endTime": 3653.36, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3648.4},{"body": "over time. I think it will relate. Do you know your Enneagram number?", "endTime": 3657.44, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3653.36},{"body": "Nine. That's me saying it is nine. I don't know in German.", "endTime": 3662.88, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3658.72},{"body": "My number is nine as well. Oh man. I, I, I've been wondering about your numbers so much. And", "endTime": 3669.68, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3663.68},{"body": "honestly, nine was high on my list, but I couldn't, I couldn't say for sure. Oh, that's incredible.", "endTime": 3674.48, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3669.68},{"body": "Okay. So we're two nines. Oh, that's amazing. Yeah. Uh, well then, then I don't have any", "endTime": 3679.12, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3674.48},{"body": "homework for you. I was going to tell you to, uh, to check out, uh, the, we can do hard things", "endTime": 3684.0, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3679.12},{"body": "podcast. Uh, and, and they're, um, they have a two part episode, uh, with Suzanne Stabile.", "endTime": 3691.76, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3684.0},{"body": "And she, uh, lays out all the different Enneagram numbers from the traditional standpoint, not the", "endTime": 3700.0, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3692.56},{"body": "current, very trendy Instagram standpoint. And it is such a beautiful way. Yeah. It's ancient. Yeah.", "endTime": 3709.28, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3700.56},{"body": "It's such a beautiful way to understand not only yourself, but the people around you", "endTime": 3713.52, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3709.28},{"body": "and relationships. And, um, Margaret and I really got into it as we were driving around Scotland.", "endTime": 3721.12, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3714.56},{"body": "And what was really beautiful for us was that like in this, in this six week vacation that we took,", "endTime": 3728.48, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3721.76},{"body": "that was, you know, a lot of us constant time concentrated together where for some people that", "endTime": 3735.6, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3729.44},{"body": "could be like at, at, at week five, you could kind of be getting sick of each other. You could be", "endTime": 3740.72, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3735.6},{"body": "bickering, you could be having trouble and that kind of thing. We grew so much closer together.", "endTime": 3746.8, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3740.72},{"body": "We understood each other like, oh, that's why you do this. And like, oh, you're doing that because", "endTime": 3752.56, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3746.8},{"body": "you care so much. And not only because you care, but like you doing this is really hard for you", "endTime": 3761.28, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3752.56},{"body": "and you do it anyway. And that is so beautiful. Um, and oh, you're struggling in this because it", "endTime": 3768.32, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3761.28},{"body": "is really difficult. That's not part of your personality. That's not the way your personality", "endTime": 3772.08, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3768.32},{"body": "works. And, and like knowing yourself and knowing the people around you, I think is so, um,", "endTime": 3780.0, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3772.08},{"body": "it opens up compassion just infinitely. Um, at least it, it does, it does for me in my mind.", "endTime": 3789.12, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3780.96},{"body": "And so, um, for anyone listening, I, I highly recommend checking that out, finding your number,", "endTime": 3794.56, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3789.12},{"body": "finding the, you know, thinking about the number of the people around you and don't tell them what", "endTime": 3798.16, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3794.56},{"body": "you think you're not, you think their number is, but have them find it out for themselves.", "endTime": 3802.64, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3798.16},{"body": "And, um, and, and, and, and don't just take a quiz, really think about what each number is and,", "endTime": 3811.04, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3803.44},{"body": "and, uh, and, and decide it for yourself because only because it's based on intention. It's based", "endTime": 3816.0, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3811.04},{"body": "on what you're thinking and what you want and not what your actions are. So nobody can tell", "endTime": 3822.32, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3816.0},{"body": "somebody else what their number is, but I am also a nine, I'm a nine wing eight. And, um, I, uh,", "endTime": 3829.04, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3822.32},{"body": "I love the Enneagram. It's, it's been one of my favorite things over the past couple of months.", "endTime": 3833.04, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3829.52},{"body": "So, well, there you go. Um, on that note, um, we are, this is an emergent process,", "endTime": 3839.68, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3833.04},{"body": "which means we don't have a clever sign off. Um, but we will be here again, uh, next week.", "endTime": 3846.0, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3839.68},{"body": "And, um, you can find us, uh, on the internet, uh, at convergencepod.com. Uh, and if you'd like", "endTime": 3854.16, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3846.0},{"body": "to know more about us and what we're doing, what we're making, um, then, uh, you'll find", "endTime": 3859.36, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3854.16},{"body": "ways to follow us, uh, there, um, until next week, Brendan, um, take really very good care", "endTime": 3868.0, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3859.36},{"body": "of yourself. Likewise. And as always correct me if I'm wrong.", "endTime": 3877.84, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3868.0},{"body": "Oh,", "endTime": 3893.68, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3877.84},{"body": "and I felt great. Yeah.", "endTime": 3898.56, "speaker": "", "startTime": 3895.12}]}