Jenn Quader (00:05)
Welcome to Resiliency the Podcast. Some people move through life looking successful on the outside while quietly wondering why life feels harder than it should. Today's episode is about exactly that: the space between achievement and exhaustion, between appearing high-functioning yet feeling internally overwhelmed, being told you are capable of so much, but still wondering why your own brain feels difficult to manage.

And we have an incredible guest for you today. Our guest is the vice president of corporate communications at CBL Properties, a public company. She's also a writer, a speaker, and an advocate for women with ADHD. And she's a self-described recovering overachiever, which in the world of resilience I know we're gonna want to dig into. Now, today's guest was diagnosed with ADHD and dyscalcula at age 36, and later with OCD at age 40.

And you'll hear this from her, but she talks about how she experienced both grief and relief in finding a language to really understand what she's been carrying her whole life. Through her writing and speaking, she explores ADHD, identity, the cultural expectations that are placed on high-achieving women, and why girls are so often misdiagnosed when it comes to ADHD. We are so excited to have someone with such depth and such passion for such an important topic around resilience.

Please join me in welcoming Miss Stacy Keating to Resiliency the Podcast. Welcome, Stacy.

Stacey Keating (01:30)
Thank you so much for having me. I'm thrilled to be here.

The Culver Group (01:34)
Stacy, we are really thrilled to have you because you're shining the light on something that seems to be getting more and more and more time and airplay. I spend more of my life in Europe than I do over in in Canada and North America. And this is a topic that is really front and center and present, particularly around policymaking in the UK. Before we do that, because it's not about me, it's about you.

What does resiliency mean to you?

Stacey Keating (02:06)
gosh, I knew you were gonna kick it off with a tough one, but it's really to me the act of overcoming. Overcoming challenges, overcoming the story that other people have told you about who you are or the story that you've told yourself about who you are.

figuring out what success looks like for you in spite of all of that and sometimes inspired by all of that.

Jenn Quader (02:29)
I love your definition here, being inspired by moving through and by by moving forward. I liked how you said the art of overcoming. Dr. Kelly talks a lot, and remember I'll remind everyone, she's a doctor of strategic resilience. And so she talks a lot about how resilience in and of itself is a state of being as opposed to just you know a series of actions or or anything else. It it's it's a way of moving through life. And you talked about that in your definition.

I want to shine that light now back onto your journey. At age 36, you know, you're well into your career. Again, you're head of comms at a major public company in in commercial real estate. Who were you before? What were the the patterns that you recognized? And what did you begin to understand about yourself that helped you move into that state of resilience?

Stacey Keating (03:13)
Yeah, so I would say my story or my journey to getting to this point starts well before I was actually formally diagnosed. 2020, I started suffering from severe panic attacks. Obviously, 2020 was very difficult for so many industries and commercial real estate, the industry that I work in, was hit particularly hard. We were...

going through COVID and then at the same time, the company was going through a financial restructuring. And so I just, I had none of the structure and support system that I really had kind of relied on to get through my day to day. I was working from home, which was a huge struggle for me. And I just started having panic attacks and I was going to therapy and my therapist was like, I think there's something else going on aside from your anxiety. I think maybe you have ADHD. And I was like,

Girl, there's no way.

Are you kidding? Like I'm, I'm talking to you on, you know, zoom or whatever therapy from the house that I own. It's relatively clean. Like my bills are paid. I've held a steady job at the same company for several years and the, the stereotype or the idea of ADHD that I had in mind was so counter to what I believed about myself. And so that was like, there's no way that definition fits me. and it took me two years to actually come to terms with the fact that

There really was something else going on and I needed to explore it further and that's when I sought my official diagnosis.

Jenn Quader (04:48)
you had this misperception that you talked about. And I think that's something that we all can can can see in in society, that we we are afraid to climb that mountain. We're afraid to go in.

where did you find that sense of relief?

Stacey Keating (05:00)
Yeah, so along with my ADHD, I was diagnosed with dyscalculia, which is a learning disability that impacts a person's ability to understand math and math concepts. In my entire life, I was terrible at math. And I've talked about this before.

I just really kind of accepted the fact that I was really dumb when it came to math and dealing with numbers. And I spent my entire life trying to avoid a career path that relied on being good at that. And so when I had an answer to what that was, I felt so much relief. And then the grief part that you talked about earlier really came into play when I was like, where would I be and how different would my life be if someone had recognized this in me sooner?

if teachers or parents, and I have the most supportive parents in the world and provided me with every opportunity they possibly could have and they didn't recognize it. And so where would I be now if things were different when I was growing up and I had the support and the resources I needed to thrive under those circumstances?

The Culver Group (06:05)
can I take you back to your definition of resilience in the answer you've just given us? And one of the things that you said is that you need to be comfortable, these this is my paraphrase, you need to be comfortable with what your definition of success looks like.

And I think you've you've you've taken us through a little bit of that around the grief and relief because you can redefine what success is in your world and it changes your view of failure. So you weren't dumb. You weren't the typical girl who didn't understand math, because we hear that too often. you learn in different ways. Different things inspire you, different things give you passion that allows you to concentrate to be successful.

And so your success path, I would think, is slightly different in the grief relief stage.

Jenn Quader (06:58)
I agree with that, Dr. Kelly. especially in high achieving women, which of course, Stacey Keating, you are a high achieving woman, right? You're you're running comms for this big company. You we're gonna talk a little later, but you have a TEDx talk coming up. I mean, you're you're

Stacey Keating (07:10)
You

Jenn Quader (07:11)
you're an author, you're out, you're you're achieving at a really high level. And what Dr. Kelly is saying makes a lot of sense, which is

That our own definition of success really affects how we feel. And then I just want to dive for one more second into this what we believe about ourselves. It feels so important. And Stacey, you talked about about not knowing early enough. We've we on Resiliency the Podcast, we've had all sorts of different guests. one of the guests that we spoke with was a a wonderful group up in Canada where Dr. Kelly is from, and they help children to learn verbal skills and things like that. Kelly, remind me of the company name, please.

The Culver Group (07:45)
The speech hands, speech therapy, speech pathology.

Jenn Quader (07:47)
The speech hens. We love

the speech hens. And there was a similar discussion, Stacey. And again, we're this is two different people, you know, these are kids who have these learning disabilities, and then there's Stacey at age 36. But but the the through line was the same. It was, hey, these kids believe something about themselves that actually damages their forward movement. So I want to open it out to something that Dr. Kelly was talking about when we first started the interview, which is that this is something the UK is is is really front of mind with.

I I think the US is also, but maybe we're probably behind the UK. but

Stacey Keating (08:19)
you

Jenn Quader (08:19)
Why is it taking so long to to break through that? Why i why is everyone kind of figuring it out right now? What has contributed to this at a large level? I'm just I'm interested in that bigger discussion before we dive down on on on a little bit more of your own journey, Stacey.

Stacey Keating (08:34)
Yeah, I think that there's a huge research gap and I think historically the UK and Europe are further ahead of the US in health related research, especially as it comes to women. And research about ADHD and other forms of neurodiversity are typically centered on boys. And so they highlight the experiences of young boys.

and how the symptoms of ADHD specifically present in those boys. And I kind of have a theory girls and women are overlooked because we're well-behaved. And boys, the stereotypical presentation of ADHD in a boy in a classroom is disruptive to other people, and that's why it gets the attention.

girls are overlooked not because they are well but because they are well behaved and

There's definitely been an increase of some high profile people coming out and saying they've been diagnosed with ADHD, which has drawn some attention to it. There's a lot of content on social media, people talking about their experiences. And I think that that has done good things and bad things. The good thing is that it's raised some more attention on it in the mainstream. And there is certainly more.

high-profile national media coverage of ADHD and its effect on women specifically, but I think it's also kind of been boiled down to like, this is just a social media trend, everybody's getting diagnosed with ADHD now, and so it's a double-edged sword.

The Culver Group (10:02)
what you're saying is really resonating with me, particularly in the UK. The research that they are coming out with is women do behave differently, they manifest differently. It is a bit of a joke that women are better behaved than you know, girls are better behaved than boys, yes, but this is just another function of how we how we as women teach ourselves how to behave.

in the classroom and and you know and in the workplace even.

Jenn Quader (10:27)
Well, I I would say i it it's it is also about vulnerability. You know, I think of I think of Brene Brown talking about that in you know in in the career sense and you you think about that as as an adult trying to be vulnerable, but when when you go to a child and i again, it we're not making this up, right? There's a nursery rhyme that's like sugar and spice and everything nice, that's what little girls are made of. And what's the one something the

Puppy dog tails, that's what little boys are made of. You know, they wag,

Stacey Keating (10:52)
Yeah.

Jenn Quader (10:53)
they move. So there's there's fundamentally a difference here. And I think that when we talk about like this epidemic, I think it's it is just a an opening of knowledge. You know what I mean? There is more knowledge. And Stacey, you talked about research gaps. That's a a huge area of wellness that that maybe as attention is coming to it, more research is coming and we're learning more. so

I see what you mean specifically about the double-edged sword in a big way, which is to say you, as a professional in your life who have been diagnosed with these things, you're working to take that seriously, understand it for yourself and move yourself forward. Then you're faced with, you know, everyone going, Well, I took a quiz, I might be also. Talk about the social pressure of being a well-behaved woman.

what's the social pressure of that when you're trying to carve out your way, but everybody around you is has such a misunderstanding of what you experience?

Stacey Keating (11:49)
Yeah, I think people don't realize how debilitating it is. It's not just you know, the typical adjectives that are ascribed to someone with ADHD. It's not you're late, you're lazy, you're inconsiderate. That's that's not true. I mean it's just I think there's such

a lack of understanding, like you said, of of how it manifests and it's so for me, my personal experience, it's so internal, it's so in my mind. And I think that the the perception that we've been fed or that I grew up with of what ADHD was also even had me questioning my own diagnosis when I received it. I was like, are my symptoms enough to qualify for this diagnosis? Is it really like that much of a struggle or am I just, you know, am I

Am I assigning these feelings to myself and not really experiencing them? And I had the same kind of experience when I went through my OCD diagnosis. Like, is this really, does it really rise to the level to deserve a diagnosis? And I think that that's a common experience I've heard from a lot of women trying to to grapple with, like, do I really deserve this diagnosis and

the support that and the the access to the information that comes along with it.

The Culver Group (13:02)
So you've you've called yourself a recovering overachiever. And maybe in that sentence you've just given us right now, like do I qualify? Is it enough? Am I there? Do I reach the benchmark? Let's just talk about that for a minute, okay? So

Stacey Keating (13:18)
Yeah.

The Culver Group (13:19)
you are a recovering overachiever. Talk to us about that and what does it what has it cost you?

Stacey Keating (13:26)
Honestly, I I don't even really know

what that means. I think, you know, the things that I think about in terms of what women are taught, whether it's things that we're explicitly told as we're growing up or things that are modeled to us by the media that we consume, the environments that we participate in.

we're always chasing a finish line or a benchmark that we really had no say in assigning to ourselves. So

The Culver Group (13:53)
Mm-hmm.

Stacey Keating (13:54)
how can we achieve and reach the finish line when it's constantly moving? And so that's kind of how I've I've felt throughout my career is okay, well I graduated high school and I got into college. I graduated college. I graduated from grad school. I got the job. I you know, I bought the house, all these things, but it never feels like enough. And so you're

always chasing the next milestone instead of celebrating and living in what you've just achieved or what you've already achieved. And so I think when I say a recovering overachiever, that doesn't mean I am g ever going to stop trying to achieve more. but I want to take a breath and and absorb and celebrate the things I've already done. And I I just think women aren't granted that space often enough.

The Culver Group (14:42)
Can I ask you, can I follow up on this? It's like, how do I stop chasing the sparkly new object and celebrate everything I have that I'm holding in my hands? And look at it and say, how do I make this grow? What I have now? How do I make this grow right here? As opposed to always going, that looks interesting. And I don't mean

Attention diversion, I mean sparkly new overachievement thing. But what you have here is so beautiful that you've created. I don't think we stop to look at it.

Stacey Keating (15:24)
I completely agree with that. I think that we were kind of conditioned to well, like, okay, we checked that thing off the list and now it's time to move on to the next one. And that's just always the expectation. And I also really hate the term high achieving because it just feels so like self important, but I know it's a common phrase. Yes, it's a label.

The Culver Group (15:40)
Mm. Mm-hmm. But it's a label. It's a label, you know, and it's not right.

Stacey Keating (15:48)
yeah, and that's fine, but

Yeah, I think we just we don't give ourselves the space to to celebrate our achievements and really revel in them because we're always expected to be looking out for what's next.

Jenn Quader (16:03)
Differing opinion, actually, I'll say. I I I like I like high achiever. I don't like overachiever. I'm actually working on that myself to calm that, and I have it. But but I like the idea of being an achiever. And this again comes to conversations around resilience that we've had and both here on Resiliency the Podcast and across business, which is to say that there is kind of a a generalized understanding that there's a next generation that it that is not stepping up.

To take over new businesses, to take you know management positions. And so Stacy, that's why I find such strength in your story, you know, is that you did hold on to this high-powered career. And I I actually want to kind of focus for a minute. You talked about COVID and and the difficulties there, but you know, the idea that you're sitting at the head of communications, folks. And I know like people are like, you do comms. Comms, PR.

was listed by one of the big like USA Today as like the number three most stressful job right under police officer. Okay, like for real. It's a stressful job because you're managing all that and you're doing it through a financial restructuring of a whole public company. And you're getting diagnosed at this time. Take us through how you got that done. How did you get through the diagnosis? What were the what were the challenges? And then how did you maintain that ability to do that?

Just talk us through that.

Stacey Keating (17:25)
Yeah, so like I said, I mean, I started this journey two years before my actual diagnosis. I did a lot of research in that time to kind of unlearn some of the the myths that I had held on to, that I had been led to believe about what ADHD meant and what having it looked like. and then I had some friends who I also consider to be very high-achieving women receive similar diagnoses, and the conversations that we had with one another and

And the the feeling of community and safety and the my god, I'm not alone in how I feel was really powerful for me. And that's what drove me to seek the formal diagnosis so that I could ultimately get the treatment that I needed, which for me I've chosen to do the medication route, and it has been life-changing.

But it's still there are still the social hurdles to to jump. That's why I think conversations like the one we're having right now are so important. because I remember sharing my diagnosis with some close friends and some coworkers, and they're like, That can't be you. You don't have ADHD. Like, you're high achieving, you are you're successful, you are all these things on a list of accomplishments that we measure success by, so it can't possibly apply to you.

Or the other side of it with the the social media the increase of the chatter about it on social media being like, Well, I think I have ADHD too. I think we're all a little ADHD. And both are dismissive of your personal experience but in very different ways.

Jenn Quader (18:59)
And both have to do with these external struggles. And this is where you spoke earlier of the like the moving benchmark, right? As a high achieving woman, we're we're always going after something, but the benchmark is always moving. And often it's given to us. It's something that we're that we're headed for, but it's all moving. How do you now balance with your understanding of where you are? How do you balance those external pressures of, people telling you what you need to do versus the internal

direction. And I guess the way I'd I'd frame that is how do you separate your own ambition from the expectations you're putting around that?

Stacey Keating (19:35)
that's something I'm still working on, to be totally honest. I think it it will probably always be a work in progress, but I'm learning to trust my own intuition a lot more, and focus on what feels aligned and gives me peace. my

One of my friends, we were chatting earlier this week or over the weekend and she said something to me that has resonated with me and she said, Anxiety is a question and intuition is a statement. And so you need to learn to trust your intuition over your anxiety.

The Culver Group (20:13)
Let's just stay there for a minute. Say it again. Say it again.

Stacey Keating (20:18)
your anxiety is a question and your intuition is a statement, and you need to learn to trust your intuition over your anxiety.

The Culver Group (20:29)
I don't know what to say to that because no, honestly, because I have, you know, close, very dear, super meaningful people to me in my life, some of whom are business colleagues. And that's the thing that they can't they can't get there from the anxiety to the intuition, because the three of them all have ADHD, later diagnosis, all men. And they can't get from the anxiety to the intuition and

That's the thing I talk to them about the most, and it's like talking to the wall.

Jenn Quader (21:04)
Well, it okay, can I ask this question of all of us on the call, the the three experts in the world here, Dr. Kelly and Stacey and Jenn.

The Culver Group (21:10)
Yeah.

Stacey Keating (21:11)
Ha ha ha.

Jenn Quader (21:13)
are are women naturally more intuitive than men? I it's something I've heard. I don't know if it's real. It is it is that is that a reality?

Stacey Keating (21:21)
It feels like it is in my own personal experience, but I don't know.

Jenn Quader (21:25)
Dr. Kelly, any thoughts? Again, this isn't this is not yeah, it's like

The Culver Group (21:26)
Yeah, me too. Yeah.

Jenn Quader (21:28)
it feels I I guess the way I'd say it, and I hate to say it silly, like, but like how many every palm reader, every psychic, they're all female. You know what I mean? Like there's something within that. And so there's a power here to discuss, which is to say that the feminine, you know, seems to have this deeper connection. And Dr. Kelly, in your experience, the men are more focused on the external.

But see, this is where it becomes very complex for me. And I love complex topics as we get into resilience because it is complex. It's so many definitions, it's so many things. But what's so complex is that where the men, you know, again, I'm I'm not talking about the men and women, I'm talking about this this overall stereotype of of of intuition. But the the being that is more intuitive actually ends up getting more confused.

Because they take it more inside and they start questioning their own intuition, where the person who just stays in anxiety doesn't. So I know this is kind of deep, but I want I wanna dive into Stacy as you're going through this. You have you have family and friends who are are supportive, but you also have some who are like, Yeah, that's not you. You have like, what were the actual ways that you tapped into that intuition and allowed yourself to change the belief about yourself?

Stacey Keating (22:39)
Again, something I think I'm still working on. but if it it's really just acknowledging that my own experience is real and that it doesn't matter if it's true for somebody else or if someone else believes it, I know what's true for me and I need to to trust my experience and my my journey with it. And it's some days it's a lot easier than others.

Some days it's complete chaos and you know I'm running to this call the few minutes before it starts to like put my laptop up so that I can get a a decent camera

The Culver Group (23:17)
Okay.

Stacey Keating (23:19)
shot here or and you know some days it's it's much more put together and but honoring that those two versions of myself can be true and I can and can be real and yeah, I don't really know where I'm going with that, what the end of the sentence is

Jenn Quader (23:38)
The NSA is still still well, but it's still to be defined. You know what I mean? Like you're you're

Stacey Keating (23:38)
Which happens a lot too. Yeah, yeah.

Jenn Quader (23:42)
that's really what you're doing is you're still defining it. You're still walking your journey. And that's where

The Culver Group (23:47)
Yeah.

Jenn Quader (23:47)
the bravery comes in, Stacy, 'cause you haven't waited till the very, very, very end, till the whole life is over to to write your book. You're you're out, you're speaking about you know what I mean? You're doing it now in the middle of the messiness. Doctor Kelly, what are your thoughts?

The Culver Group (23:59)
Well, I I think we stay in this. I think we stay in this piece because Stacy is a communication strategist. That's what you're talking about, Jenn It's around communication and how you how you think, how you behave, how you work. You you are a storyteller. and how has understanding your own neurodivergence changed the way you communicate with others? I think that picks up on what Jenn was asking.

Stacey Keating (24:22)
Yeah, I think it definitely has allowed me to be more open with people. I'm a very emotionally closed off person usually. I keep it all inside. and I think that's part of the the not wanting to be perceived as being overly emotional, not wanting to be perceived as being reactive. but in going through this experience and opening up to people, whether that's through verbal communication or whether through my writing,

That connection has really made a huge difference for me.

And it has given me a lot more grace in how I approach other people because I recognize that I'm operating in a world that isn't necessarily built for the way my brain works, and I know that's true for others for a variety of different reasons. And it's also changed the way I, look at how I would approach leadership in the workplace, because if I can create a space where someone feels more comfortable sharing their experience in the way that I've shared mine.

you know how how to better to coach them, how to better lead them, and what support they need to be the most effective version of themselves at work.

Jenn Quader (25:36)
And Stacey, that's the good, important work beyond what you've done for yourself is that you're shining your light out to others. I'll share with our listeners I was at a conference for women in commercial real estate just last week or the week before, and Stacy spoke on a panel around women's wellness in the workplace. And I was kind of amazed at at the things that were brought up that, that I hadn't thought about. For example, one of the ladies on the panel spoke about how insurance did not cover her diagnosis and that it was a very long and and difficult thing.

Let's talk about that for a moment, just about like the access to being able to get diagnosed. What does that look like in your experience, Stacey? And and how how you've seen it

with others, perhaps?

Stacey Keating (26:18)
I think I've been very fortunate and I recognize that I have a lot of privilege in that I have excellent health insurance, I have a stable job that pays me well and allows me to afford my medication, allows me to pay out of pocket for the diagnosis, allows me to pay for therapy, and so I have access to a lot of resources that other people don't necessarily have.

I think it really varies by market. I've found finding psychiatrist care in Chattanooga where I currently live to be difficult. It's a there are long wait times, there's a lot of hoops to jump through to be seen and to get your your medication prescribed to you and refilled. and mental health care is just really difficult for people to access and I think there's still such a stigma around that and

who it's for and what it's for. but it's really I kind of look at it like any other version of taking care of yourself by going to the gym or eating whole foods or what have you. Like it it's all about your mental wellness that allows you to perform better in other areas of your life.

Jenn Quader (27:28)
You've hit something so important to me. And again, it ties to something you said earlier, because you talked about like the capabilities and how women kind of hide it. And what I what I heard in that is like, okay. If if it's not broken, don't fix it is kind of what what women might be be thinking. And so they might think, well, I'm I do have my house, I do have my job, all these things are happening. And so why would I put myself through this difficulty? Cause to your point, it's very difficult.

To get a mental health diagnosis. I I get frustrated with any diagnosis. You go to the doctor and that you say, Hey, I took off work for for today to come in. And they go, Great, come back to go do this blood work and go do this and take four more appointments. It all takes so much. So I'm gonna now turn it then to your mission, Stacey, because I think that's that's where the challenge meets the meets the light, right? Which is to say the challenge is under awareness, especially in girls who are misdiagnosed, who are are hiding this out of.

Just being well behaved, as you said. And so you now have the opportunity, I believe, in November in Chattanooga to give a TEDx talk on this topic. And you're talking about ADHD in girls, why it's overlooked, and what we need to understand about kind of those quiet but high-achieving women who may be struggling internally. Tell us, tell us about that, tell us about your main message. What do our listeners need to know about that?

Stacey Keating (28:52)
Yeah, and I think it's, you know, it's so funny that you had mentioned us having this conversation in the middle of my journey and not waiting until it's quote unquote finished to share my story. And the theme of TEDx Chattanooga this year is unfinished. And so I know. You couldn't have set it up better. I

Jenn Quader (29:11)
Fabulous, fabulous.

Stacey Keating (29:13)
swear I didn't tell

The Culver Group (29:13)
my god.

Stacey Keating (29:14)
Jenn that before this conversation.

Jenn Quader (29:15)
She didn't, that's fabulous.

Stacey Keating (29:19)
But I think it's it's really challenging the narrative that that women

Finished, or that we should celebrate only the finished product or the shiny version of ourselves. and that the real work and the real connection really comes from embracing and talking about the mess that that we all live in every day and making that more visible to people. And then from my from the TEDx talk perspective, I am weaving in the the ADHD and the lack of research in women and girls, and how

damaging that is for someone with ADHD and for their mental health even more than just a nor neurotypical woman who faces the same challenges.

Jenn Quader (30:01)
You actually made me like tear up a little bit, Stacey. That's but but it was it it has to do with the fact that you are vulnerably taking unfinished journey, sharing that with everyone. And then really there's the communal aspect of it, which again I always like to point out, but this idea that you are are bringing people in to understand it and to experience it together. We we are so excited. We we will definitely be including in our show notes all sorts of things about your TEDx and sharing

Stacey Keating (30:26)
Yeah.

Jenn Quader (30:27)
all of that. the next

Part of our interview is we're gonna be diving into Dr. Kelly's rapid fire questions, one of our most favorite things. But I do wanna ask Stacey,

Stacey Keating (30:34)
Ha ha ha.

Jenn Quader (30:36)
is there anything we didn't ask you today that you wanna make sure the listeners and followers of Resiliency the Podcast know about you or about your mindset on life?

Stacey Keating (30:45)
just say like you had mentioned earlier getting the diagnosis is difficult but the the understanding of yourself that you have on the other side is more than worth it in my opinion the the journey that it takes to get there and

More than likely, whatever it is that you're afraid to share with others is something that other people are also experiencing. And there is so much joy and understanding and grace that you can give yourself and others by sharing that message. I do a lot of not a lot of because I'm not very consistent with it, but I do some writing on Substack, and I can't tell you how many people reach out to me privately to say, you know, what you wrote about XYZ really.

resonated with me, I feel the same way, or what you wrote and shared about your journey has inspired me to go get a diagnosis and really take take control of what's happening in my mind. And that is that's the whole purpose behind why I want to share this message is to help other people own it and recognize it in themselves and get the support that they need.

Jenn Quader (31:57)
Beautiful. Stacy, you are a warrior for truth and for and for goodness, and we are so honored.

Stacey Keating (32:01)
Thank you.

Jenn Quader (32:03)
And with that, we turn to Dr. Kelly for rapid fire resiliency. Here we

Stacey Keating (32:04)
Ha ha ha

The Culver Group (32:05)
Who

Jenn Quader (32:07)
go.

The Culver Group (32:09)
Right. So I've got some rapid fire questions, but I wanna come back to one thing that you said

Stacey Keating (32:13)
Yeah.

The Culver Group (32:14)
unfinished. I met a woman in the UK, she's seventy, she's phenomenal, and when she turned sixty, she decided to write a book called Feral. And she said, I'm sixty, but I am not finished. In fact, I am gonna turn feral because I am sick and tired of you people telling me how I should behave. It's called Feral. Look it up.

Stacey Keating (32:34)
I will. I'm definitely going to read that book.

The Culver Group (32:37)
She's amazing. So with that, what is your favorite movie or TV show that makes you feel resilient?

Stacey Keating (32:46)
Shitt's Creek. Yeah.

Jenn Quader (32:48)
Yes, love and Canadians Yay

The Culver Group (32:53)
yes. All right. So now yes, you are my favorite today. Totally.

Stacey Keating (32:55)
Yes.

It's such a good show. I mean, you know, it's

Jenn Quader (33:03)
Wait.

Stacey Keating (33:04)
so good. And I think like this is common among now I'm just kind of interrupting your your rapid fire questions, but

The Culver Group (33:10)
No, no.

Stacey Keating (33:12)
there's a lot of

research I and conversation in the ADHD community about how ADHDers go back and rewatch the same shows and movies over and over again because there's familiarity and safety there and new shows can cause anxiety and when your brain is already working so hard to process so much information, those safe shows that you watch over and over that aren't gonna surprise you are really, really comforting and reassuring and Shitt's Creek is without a doubt mine.

The Culver Group (33:43)
And it's funny. And it's funny. Yeah,

Jenn Quader (33:44)
Good taste.

Stacey Keating (33:45)
Yes, it's so funny. it's so good.

The Culver Group (33:48)
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Eugene Levy So what about a song? What's your favorite song that makes you feel resilient?

Stacey Keating (33:57)
That's great question. I I tend to listen to a lot more podcasts than I do music.

The Culver Group (34:03)
Mm-hmm.

Stacey Keating (34:05)
I don't know that I have a good answer for that one.

The Culver Group (34:07)
You don't have to because the spoken word is I am right

Stacey Keating (34:09)
Yeah.

The Culver Group (34:10)
now you could pretend that this is a song, it is my voice.

Stacey Keating (34:13)
Yeah.

The Culver Group (34:15)
So, what's your favorite podcast? It doesn't have to be this one.

Stacey Keating (34:20)
Obviously this one.

Jenn Quader (34:20)
Obviously after clearly.

Stacey Keating (34:26)
I listen to a lot of political podcasts because I like to torture myself. yeah, there's a fine line between staying s yes, yes, absolutely. yeah.

The Culver Group (34:32)
The rest is politics. Okay. Say no more.

Stacey Keating (34:37)
Yeah, staying sane and staying informed. but I do I do really enjoy

armchair expert and smartless, the kind of the fun, irreverent conversations that they have.

The Culver Group (34:53)
That's good. That is the that is your music and that works just as well.

Stacey Keating (34:58)
Yeah.

The Culver Group (34:58)
What's the last thing that made you laugh out loud, crazy laugh out loud?

Stacey Keating (35:03)
I mean, aside from this conversation.

The Culver Group (35:05)
No!

Stacey Keating (35:11)
probably, you know, last weekend we're recording this in July, and last weekend was the World Cup final and spent a lot of time with friends over that weekend watching the final and just you know, spending time with my people, with the the people that make me feel like the best version of myself.

And we just have so much fun and joke and give each other a hard time and I think that's yeah.

The Culver Group (35:36)
That's really lovely because it's really worthwhile. It is the best way to spend time. Now, do you have a question you would like to leave for a future guest?

Stacey Keating (35:46)
Yes, I would say I've thought a lot about this one since these questions

The Culver Group (35:50)
Okay.

Stacey Keating (35:51)
were sent to me, and this was the one I was like, my god, I what what am I gonna ask? It has to be good. I want the person next to feel like, you know, I put a lot of thought into it.

The Culver Group (36:01)
so you're not overachieving at all, are you?

Stacey Keating (36:03)
No, not at all. Yeah, this is my this

Jenn Quader (36:04)
No high achieving there.

Stacey Keating (36:06)
is my internal dialogue I'm giving you access to at this point. Yeah.

The Culver Group (36:06)
No. Okay. Yeah, no, no. It's okay. I got that. I knew that. I knew that.

Jenn Quader (36:11)
We welcome her. We love her. She's

she's welcome here.

Stacey Keating (36:15)
I don't know. She's not welcome in every room, but

The Culver Group (36:18)
Welcome here.

Stacey Keating (36:21)
I I would wanna ask a future guest what story about yourself are you currently unlearning?

The Culver Group (36:28)
beautiful, Stacy. Stacy et al. That was great.

Jenn Quader (36:29)
Great question. Great from a from a storyteller to

Stacey Keating (36:30)
Thank you. Thank you.

Jenn Quader (36:33)
another. Beautiful Stacey.

Stacey Keating (36:34)
Yeah.

Jenn Quader (36:35)
I love it. I have a question for you left by a past guest at Resiliency the Podcast. And

Stacey Keating (36:38)
Yeah, yeah.

Jenn Quader (36:39)
it is, how important was tenacity to you in your journey? And where would you be without it?

Stacey Keating (36:47)
I don't think I would be here having this conversation with you all without it. I think it took a lot of tenacity to get my diagnosis and it took a lot of internal tenacity and conversations with myself with in my internal monologue to even feel comfortable enough to put myself out there in this capacity because I think

especially women have the tendency to want to and you said it in your intro, to project this version of themselves for other people, and how they're perceived. And I turned forty last year and I care a little less about how I'm perceived and I I gather that as I age that will only get more so the case, but

The Culver Group (37:32)
yes.

Stacey Keating (37:34)
I can't wait for that, I'm not gonna lie.

The Culver Group (37:36)
You won't give

a damn.

Stacey Keating (37:38)
Yes, that's amazing. I you know, forty has been wonderful in a lot of ways, but yeah, I would say

finding my voice, and finding the the strength to to share that voice. And then something that came out of the the C R E conference that we were at, Jenn, the doing it with sweaty palms, which was a through

Jenn Quader (37:57)
Yes.

Stacey Keating (37:58)
line that I heard a lot from women on the stage. And I think that we get caught up in doing, or being afraid to take those steps because we don't feel fully confident or equipped or

educated, knowledgeable, whatever it is, qualified to have these conversations and kind of letting go of that story and doing it anyway, even if you're scared to do it. My palms are sweating as I'm having this conversation with you all, but we're doing it anyway. So yeah, I think that's I don't even remember what the question was now because I've just been rambling, but

Jenn Quader (38:36)
You have not been rambling. You have been you've been making beautiful sense. And act

and I have something up on my my board that says, if you can't overcome the fear, do it scared. So it's it's but

Stacey Keating (38:45)
Yes, exactly.

Jenn Quader (38:47)
then I also want to say to all of us women, I I myself am in my in my mid forties, to all of us who are aiming higher, Dr. Kelly got on this podcast maybe four or five episodes ago. You'll have to go back and listen. And she said, I have decided that I am sovereign.

And that's what I'm aiming toward. I'm gonna be sovereign in who I am. And Stacy, you have shown that to us today. You are rooted in who you are. You are continuing to learn and you're open to that discovery, but you from a beautiful place are sharing that with so many people. We are so excited for your TEDx. We're so happy to have had you. Stacy, where can people find you if they'd like to follow your writing, learn more about you, and and really follow this journey that you're taking people on?

Stacey Keating (39:29)
Yeah, you can find my writing on Substack. My Substack is called And Other Lies. I am active on LinkedIn, Stacy Keating. and then you can find me on Instagram at hey StacyK.

Jenn Quader (39:43)
Hey Stacy K, we

The Culver Group (39:43)
Mm-hmm.

Jenn Quader (39:44)
love it. Find Stacy Keating, follow her. And ladies and gentlemen, thank you for being with us. Thank you for listening to today's show. If resiliency is something you're interested in, please like or subscribe to our YouTube channel or wherever you're listening to us today. You can find us on resiliencythepodcast.com and on all the social media places. And this is the place to find stories, strategies, and inspiration on embracing change.

Overcoming challenges and redefining resilience in our rapidly changing world. As always, I'm honored to be here with our co-host, Dr. Kelly Culver, a doctor of strategic resilience, the Queen of Canada, the head of the Culver Group, and Resilience Nexus. Look it up. You can always find me online at my company, The SmartAgency, or at jennquader.com Ladies and gentlemen, we thank you for Stacey. We thank you for this conversation. We ask that you stay resilient and join us again on another episode of Resiliency the Podcast. Be well.