WEBVTT NOTE This file was generated by Descript 00:00:00.420 --> 00:00:04.860 Having a screwed up and traumatic childhood could be the reason 00:00:04.860 --> 00:00:08.070 that you're successful or will be very successful in sales. 00:00:08.400 --> 00:00:11.580 But before we get to today's video, I have to just put out a big warning. 00:00:11.940 --> 00:00:13.170 I might dig up some stuff. 00:00:13.170 --> 00:00:16.230 This video's gonna be unlike anything else I've done before. 00:00:16.350 --> 00:00:18.270 I was actually quite nervous to share this video because. 00:00:19.770 --> 00:00:21.330 I've refiled it, I've refiled it. 00:00:21.330 --> 00:00:23.880 And the reason that I wanted to put this one out is because I believe it's gonna 00:00:23.880 --> 00:00:29.490 tap into the core being of folks that are maybe like me, that had a, a, a childhood 00:00:29.490 --> 00:00:34.140 or childhood experiences or trauma in the home due to things like alcoholism, 00:00:34.320 --> 00:00:39.570 drug abuse, severe mental illness, physical abuse and more, and, and being 00:00:39.570 --> 00:00:41.190 a child growing up in that environment. 00:00:41.190 --> 00:00:44.460 You know, when you go to school and you're a kid and you look around and, 00:00:44.460 --> 00:00:46.470 and you're kind of at that point that. 00:00:46.710 --> 00:00:50.400 What you've experienced is normalized in your own home environment. 00:00:50.580 --> 00:00:51.540 It's normal at home. 00:00:51.570 --> 00:00:52.710 That's just day to day. 00:00:52.860 --> 00:00:55.200 But then you go to school and then, and you don't want people to know 00:00:55.200 --> 00:00:58.380 about what's going on at home and, and, and everyone on the outside looks 00:00:58.380 --> 00:01:00.450 like everything's good and great, and they're living this normal life. 00:01:01.154 --> 00:01:04.785 It's not till you get older that you look back and you're like, that was messed up. 00:01:04.815 --> 00:01:05.804 Holy crap. 00:01:05.865 --> 00:01:07.035 That was really screwed up. 00:01:07.304 --> 00:01:10.335 So disclaimer, if you don't want to go there, don't watch this video 00:01:10.335 --> 00:01:13.155 or listen to this podcast episode, this is the time to jump ship. 00:01:13.455 --> 00:01:17.054 But if you're someone who really believes that roofing sales truly 00:01:17.060 --> 00:01:21.554 is personal development in disguise, then this video is for you. 00:01:21.765 --> 00:01:23.085 But I'm not a therapist. 00:01:23.085 --> 00:01:23.775 I'm not your therapist. 00:01:23.775 --> 00:01:24.975 I did get an undergraduate degree in. 00:01:25.005 --> 00:01:26.565 Psychology, which basically means nothing. 00:01:26.774 --> 00:01:27.884 So there's that. 00:01:28.125 --> 00:01:30.824 And I would just wanna get really personal and talk about the inner 00:01:30.824 --> 00:01:36.255 landscape of roofing sales and why I believe that screwed up childhood trauma 00:01:36.345 --> 00:01:39.794 is one of the reasons that makes us very successful in sales later in life. 00:01:39.854 --> 00:01:42.375 And I recognize that not everybody agrees with this. 00:01:42.615 --> 00:01:44.164 In fact, I invite an open. 00:01:44.910 --> 00:01:47.850 Conversation in the discussions or comments section below. 00:01:48.060 --> 00:01:51.000 Uh, I actually had this, I made this statement at dinner not long 00:01:51.000 --> 00:01:54.390 ago, and this woman that I was with just completely disagreed. 00:01:54.390 --> 00:01:57.420 I said, I believe that most highly successful salespeople had really 00:01:57.425 --> 00:01:59.280 traumatic childhood experiences. 00:01:59.430 --> 00:02:00.330 She says, no, they didn't. 00:02:00.335 --> 00:02:02.310 And I was like, well, then maybe I'll live in a bubble. 00:02:02.315 --> 00:02:03.770 But again, that's the beauty of opinions. 00:02:03.770 --> 00:02:07.380 We all get to have our own, and I wanna share my beliefs because they've 00:02:07.380 --> 00:02:10.410 empowered me, and I hope that they can empower you before we get to it. 00:02:10.500 --> 00:02:10.919 Welcome. 00:02:11.160 --> 00:02:11.730 Welcome back. 00:02:11.790 --> 00:02:15.570 My name's Adam Benson, the roof strategist and everything that I do honestly in my 00:02:15.570 --> 00:02:19.769 life is designed to help you and your team smash your income goal and give 00:02:19.769 --> 00:02:22.079 every customer an amazing experience. 00:02:22.290 --> 00:02:26.519 And I do what I do because I have found that about 66% of 00:02:26.519 --> 00:02:29.250 roofing sales people quit or get fired in their very first year. 00:02:29.320 --> 00:02:33.480 We have really high turnover, and a lot of that is arming people like you 00:02:33.480 --> 00:02:37.739 or your team with sales strategies, tactics, and skills to succeed. 00:02:38.015 --> 00:02:40.475 And succeed very quickly, like as quick as your very first day or very 00:02:40.475 --> 00:02:41.675 first week, your very first month. 00:02:42.095 --> 00:02:45.725 But beyond that, I know that the number one roadblock is often like ourselves. 00:02:45.725 --> 00:02:46.625 It it's us. 00:02:46.805 --> 00:02:49.985 It's having that motivation, having that drive, learning how to deal with 00:02:49.985 --> 00:02:51.605 situations that we haven't yet done with. 00:02:51.845 --> 00:02:55.535 And I wanted to provide some insights into that because I've found roofing sales to 00:02:55.535 --> 00:02:57.905 be the best therapy in the entire world. 00:02:58.145 --> 00:03:01.595 And I'm gonna share my journey with you here, and hopefully it inspires you to 00:03:01.595 --> 00:03:03.815 join that journey for yourself as well. 00:03:03.845 --> 00:03:05.735 So without further ado, let's jump in. 00:03:06.234 --> 00:03:10.795 It is my belief that people who have had childhood trauma growing up in 00:03:10.795 --> 00:03:14.365 families with drug abuse, alcohol abuse, physical trauma, severe mental 00:03:14.365 --> 00:03:19.585 illness, and more become wildly successful salespeople, often, in my 00:03:19.585 --> 00:03:23.795 opinion, because of the skills they developed when dealing with that trauma. 00:03:24.495 --> 00:03:25.495 Let me explain. 00:03:26.505 --> 00:03:30.705 Oftentimes children when they're dealing in traumatic environments 00:03:30.705 --> 00:03:36.165 feel unstable, insecure, not safe, and develop high levels of anxiety. 00:03:36.165 --> 00:03:39.255 Something that I personally have struggled with my entire life as 00:03:39.255 --> 00:03:42.525 long as I can remember until more recently when reading a book, which 00:03:42.525 --> 00:03:45.496 I'll share, uh, it's called The Dare Response and, and, uh, I'll put a link. 00:03:46.410 --> 00:03:49.260 In the description below to the book that I read that has provided 00:03:49.260 --> 00:03:52.380 a healing platform and a framework to follow, that has been phenomenal. 00:03:52.650 --> 00:03:57.330 But anyway, the children, we learn these skill sets out of 00:03:57.330 --> 00:04:00.060 fear, anxiety, and feeling unsafe. 00:04:00.240 --> 00:04:04.250 So in order for us out of pure survival mechanism, what we do is 00:04:04.250 --> 00:04:07.140 we find ways to make ourselves. 00:04:07.160 --> 00:04:07.970 Feel safe. 00:04:08.240 --> 00:04:11.480 That can be things like some people binge eat because that's one thing 00:04:11.480 --> 00:04:13.010 you can control Other people. 00:04:13.010 --> 00:04:16.490 When I was this person, I binge ate as well, but I also would rearrange my 00:04:16.490 --> 00:04:20.209 room constantly because I could control that my own little home environment, 00:04:20.214 --> 00:04:21.290 and I'd move my dresser here. 00:04:21.350 --> 00:04:23.900 Sometimes I'd move my dresser out and I'd sleep behind it in the wall. 00:04:24.170 --> 00:04:25.159 Like that was my, my palace. 00:04:25.420 --> 00:04:28.100 So we find these things that we can control, but when it comes 00:04:28.100 --> 00:04:31.460 into interpersonal skills, what we end up doing is finding. 00:04:31.670 --> 00:04:32.960 That we play a role. 00:04:33.020 --> 00:04:34.280 I'll give you an example on my story. 00:04:34.520 --> 00:04:38.060 I played the role of peacekeeper so I could observe in the house. 00:04:38.090 --> 00:04:38.660 Oh, okay. 00:04:38.660 --> 00:04:39.740 That's the behavior right there. 00:04:39.770 --> 00:04:43.310 That's the behavior that comes right before the explosion. 00:04:43.430 --> 00:04:44.990 Oh, sh I don't wanna deal with that. 00:04:45.110 --> 00:04:47.030 So how can I try to keep you at peace? 00:04:47.090 --> 00:04:50.362 And you, I gotta keep, I gotta keep you calm and at peace, cuz if 00:04:50.630 --> 00:04:54.050 there's no tension, everything's good and I'm calm and I'm safe. 00:04:54.585 --> 00:04:59.235 And when I played that role of peacekeeper, I developed these skill 00:04:59.235 --> 00:05:04.485 sets like, like an eagle, like having this vision to tune in and reads subtle 00:05:04.485 --> 00:05:08.535 language of body language signals or how a door was closed in the house. 00:05:08.685 --> 00:05:09.435 Was it slam? 00:05:09.495 --> 00:05:10.695 Oh, that door was slammed. 00:05:10.695 --> 00:05:11.655 Something was gonna follow. 00:05:11.655 --> 00:05:13.935 That was the pre, that was the precursor in the indicator. 00:05:14.115 --> 00:05:15.075 Okay, I got that. 00:05:15.285 --> 00:05:15.615 All right. 00:05:15.620 --> 00:05:16.905 Something slammed down on the counter. 00:05:16.905 --> 00:05:17.445 I heard that. 00:05:17.445 --> 00:05:17.865 All right. 00:05:17.870 --> 00:05:18.525 We're getting there. 00:05:18.845 --> 00:05:21.125 Okay, now I'm, my eyes are on the situation. 00:05:21.155 --> 00:05:23.015 I'm looking at the facial cues I see. 00:05:23.375 --> 00:05:26.285 I see the face isn't right, the tonalities off. 00:05:26.375 --> 00:05:30.635 I'm like, I'm anticipating things and learning how to observe people 00:05:30.635 --> 00:05:32.375 and play this peacekeeper role. 00:05:32.585 --> 00:05:35.445 Dev helped me develop this very powerful skillset. 00:05:36.065 --> 00:05:38.405 To learn how to distill messaging and communication. 00:05:38.405 --> 00:05:40.805 No, I know what they're thinking and about to do. 00:05:40.955 --> 00:05:45.005 I know how they're gonna react, and if I can do all my best to try to control 00:05:45.005 --> 00:05:48.695 this environment, I can keep this piece and then I don't have to deal with this 00:05:48.695 --> 00:05:50.825 garbage anymore and I can just be happy. 00:05:51.360 --> 00:05:55.620 So that skillset right there of learning how to read and observe people helped 00:05:55.620 --> 00:06:01.140 me in sales because I now have developed a keen understanding of, of watching 00:06:01.145 --> 00:06:05.970 people and finding the subtle movements of when they're uncomfortable or when 00:06:05.970 --> 00:06:10.051 their mood changes or when they disagree or don't agree, or the, the behavior that 00:06:10.200 --> 00:06:15.450 they may participate in unconsciously before an outburst or something like 00:06:15.450 --> 00:06:17.400 that, before getting upset or angry. 00:06:18.315 --> 00:06:23.145 These skill sets and the role that I played of peacekeeper helped me develop 00:06:23.145 --> 00:06:28.575 these skills, which then helped me become successful in sales, but only after I 00:06:28.575 --> 00:06:30.435 learned how to conquer the weakness. 00:06:30.435 --> 00:06:32.535 So our greatest strength is often our greatest weakness. 00:06:32.535 --> 00:06:33.885 I wanna talk about this peacekeeping thing. 00:06:34.845 --> 00:06:37.395 I was a peacekeeper, which meant I avoided conflict. 00:06:37.395 --> 00:06:38.355 I hated conflict. 00:06:38.565 --> 00:06:40.815 I did everything in my power to avoid conflict. 00:06:40.965 --> 00:06:42.135 I didn't have thick skin. 00:06:42.165 --> 00:06:43.485 I wanted to keep everybody happy. 00:06:43.785 --> 00:06:44.325 Guess what? 00:06:44.325 --> 00:06:44.925 You go in sales. 00:06:44.925 --> 00:06:45.765 Is that possible? 00:06:46.530 --> 00:06:47.220 No, I heard it. 00:06:47.280 --> 00:06:48.330 No, it's not. 00:06:48.450 --> 00:06:49.320 It's not possible. 00:06:49.590 --> 00:06:52.980 So when I started knocking doors, I was that peacekeeper that 00:06:52.980 --> 00:06:54.030 just wanted everybody happy. 00:06:54.030 --> 00:06:57.420 I'd knock on a door, show up at someone's house, got my smiley face on, knock knock, 00:06:57.420 --> 00:07:01.020 I'd shoot back and they'd be like, Hey, my name's get the F off my property. 00:07:01.020 --> 00:07:02.910 You scumbag, go get a real job. 00:07:03.060 --> 00:07:05.040 If I needed a roof, I'd call somebody. 00:07:06.794 --> 00:07:09.015 Screamed at that stuff crippled me. 00:07:09.135 --> 00:07:10.185 I didn't have thick skin. 00:07:10.515 --> 00:07:12.794 I would crumble under that pressure. 00:07:13.244 --> 00:07:17.445 Getting out to knock doors was incredibly challenging for me because it won 00:07:17.445 --> 00:07:20.594 against everything that I learned how to do to survive as a child. 00:07:20.775 --> 00:07:22.455 Skillsets that carried me forward. 00:07:22.695 --> 00:07:24.854 So I had to conquer what I call my inner demonn. 00:07:24.859 --> 00:07:26.745 That part of me that said, you know what? 00:07:26.929 --> 00:07:31.250 This no longer serves you, but what you can do is you can take those skill sets 00:07:31.250 --> 00:07:35.000 you developed about reading people and understanding how people respond, and 00:07:35.000 --> 00:07:38.239 learning how to help this person get along better with this person and say, Hey, I 00:07:38.239 --> 00:07:39.530 know what you're trying to say to them. 00:07:39.530 --> 00:07:40.700 I know how they need to hear it. 00:07:40.700 --> 00:07:42.739 So I'm gonna, I'm gonna distill what you're saying. 00:07:43.330 --> 00:07:43.719 All right. 00:07:43.719 --> 00:07:45.370 This is what she's trying to say, my friend. 00:07:45.820 --> 00:07:47.200 And then back the other way. 00:07:47.200 --> 00:07:50.169 All right, this is what he's thinking and how he's processing what you're saying. 00:07:50.380 --> 00:07:54.310 Where I played that intermediary and I could say, all right, I'm gonna ditch 00:07:54.315 --> 00:07:57.849 this stuff about trying to keep the peace, but I'm gonna grab these skills. 00:07:58.000 --> 00:08:04.150 And now in sales, I have developed a, a very fine-tuned skill of empathy learning 00:08:04.150 --> 00:08:06.310 to not only read, but understand in. 00:08:06.370 --> 00:08:10.840 Feel what other people are feeling because I've been there through direct experience 00:08:11.110 --> 00:08:16.330 and that my friend is why I believe that roofing sales is personal development. 00:08:16.330 --> 00:08:20.980 In disguise, our number one roadblock is ourselves having to get past the 00:08:20.980 --> 00:08:25.600 peacekeeper, who's afraid of conflict and U using this as a therapeutic approach 00:08:25.600 --> 00:08:28.780 to say, Hey, my childhood, I learned these skills, but they don't serve me. 00:08:28.880 --> 00:08:33.860 Now, but the skillsets I developed, those do, and now I'm gonna practice 00:08:33.890 --> 00:08:37.250 each and every day going up into that door, knocking on that door, 00:08:37.400 --> 00:08:41.900 facing my fear, conquering my fear, leaning into that discomfort, and 00:08:41.900 --> 00:08:46.340 then sharpening those skills that I develop to be even more potent, but 00:08:46.345 --> 00:08:51.470 channeling them in a healthy direction to be wildly powerful as a teacher, 00:08:51.470 --> 00:08:53.300 as a salesperson, and as a leader. 00:08:53.969 --> 00:08:58.140 And this is why I invite you to join me on this journey where roofing sales 00:08:58.140 --> 00:09:00.479 is personal development in disguise. 00:09:00.719 --> 00:09:02.760 So I'm not against therapy by any means. 00:09:02.760 --> 00:09:04.920 In fact, most of my childhood, I was in therapy. 00:09:05.160 --> 00:09:09.119 Now I participated on my own through self-study reading in 00:09:09.119 --> 00:09:12.150 constant experimentation, which is actually one of the reasons I 00:09:12.150 --> 00:09:16.530 got this watch was a reminder of that journey in where I am today. 00:09:16.560 --> 00:09:16.619 It. 00:09:17.640 --> 00:09:21.060 These symbols that I wear, the tattoos that I have, are all a 00:09:21.060 --> 00:09:25.859 constant reminder of that journey and where I was and where I can be. 00:09:26.040 --> 00:09:30.089 And instead of, and again, I encourage, if you believe that you need therapy, 00:09:30.089 --> 00:09:32.579 if you want therapy, if you think it'll even be remotely helpful, go do it. 00:09:32.579 --> 00:09:33.000 Who cares? 00:09:33.000 --> 00:09:33.599 Drop the ego. 00:09:33.865 --> 00:09:38.095 But what I think is really fun about roofing sales is you get paid to be 00:09:38.095 --> 00:09:43.285 in therapy to be the best version of you, to grow beyond your childhood 00:09:43.285 --> 00:09:48.325 traumas and harness all the negativity and toxic crap you dealt with into a 00:09:48.325 --> 00:09:53.815 way that says, I am the way I am today because of what I grew in out of. 00:09:53.900 --> 00:09:58.010 What I survived as a kid, and now I'm here to channel all of that is my 00:09:58.010 --> 00:10:03.319 gift to the world to give, to be of service, to be of use to others, and 00:10:03.319 --> 00:10:08.060 to commit my life to being of use in the highest use possible, which for in 00:10:08.060 --> 00:10:12.220 adalian psychology is the definition of happiness, to be of use to others. 00:10:12.560 --> 00:10:15.500 So you, my friend, I invite you to join me on the challenge and the journey 00:10:15.829 --> 00:10:17.569 of embracing your childhood trauma. 00:10:17.660 --> 00:10:19.430 Looking into it, diving into it. 00:10:19.609 --> 00:10:24.109 Finding out why you became who you are in journaling, grabbing a pen and paper, 00:10:24.109 --> 00:10:28.130 and writing down what skill sets you developed through those experiences, 00:10:28.160 --> 00:10:31.939 and how can you apply those skill sets in a positive light to serve 00:10:31.944 --> 00:10:34.550 others better, to connect more deeply. 00:10:34.910 --> 00:10:37.310 And that my friends, is why I believe that roofing sales. 00:10:38.130 --> 00:10:42.780 Is personal development in disguise and is one of the largest reasons, the biggest 00:10:42.780 --> 00:10:48.239 reasons that I've fallen more deeply in love with this industry than ever before. 00:10:48.479 --> 00:10:50.189 Because it ain't free for everybody. 00:10:50.400 --> 00:10:52.680 It's not for the, for folks who are weak at heart. 00:10:52.859 --> 00:10:54.599 It's not for people who are afraid of themselves. 00:10:54.599 --> 00:10:56.069 It's not for people who are afraid of conflict. 00:10:56.219 --> 00:10:59.189 And it is certainly not for people who are seeking comfort and security all the 00:10:59.189 --> 00:11:00.839 time, cuz you won't feel any of that here. 00:11:01.109 --> 00:11:05.480 But for those of us, Who enjoy the challenge and the journey of the personal 00:11:05.480 --> 00:11:07.640 growth in leaning into that discomfort. 00:11:07.730 --> 00:11:10.190 And in the byproduct, meaning I get to help more people and collect 00:11:10.195 --> 00:11:13.370 more thank you notes and earn more money than roofing sales is for you. 00:11:13.640 --> 00:11:14.720 So there you have it. 00:11:14.810 --> 00:11:18.410 Agree or disagree, have a comment to share, maybe your own experience. 00:11:18.410 --> 00:11:20.290 Drop it in the comments section below. 00:11:21.080 --> 00:11:24.650 I believe that childhood trauma is one of the most important factors 00:11:25.400 --> 00:11:29.420 of looking into because it shapes who we are and helps us become. 00:11:30.255 --> 00:11:34.665 A very, very, very strong, powerful, and confident salesperson, and I hope 00:11:34.665 --> 00:11:36.585 this video inspired you or your team. 00:11:36.585 --> 00:11:42.465 Pass it along, rewatch it, because at the end of the day, it is us and ourselves 00:11:42.465 --> 00:11:43.845 that become our number one obstacle. 00:11:43.905 --> 00:11:47.305 So when we can turn inwards and grow through it, we end up absolutely 00:11:47.795 --> 00:11:51.045 destroying any potential ceiling that we thought we might even have there. 00:11:51.285 --> 00:11:54.945 And that my friend, is how we take what I call moonshots. 00:11:55.215 --> 00:11:56.505 Thanks for joining me in today's video. 00:11:56.835 --> 00:11:57.705 Hope to see you on the next one.