1 00:00:48,303 --> 00:00:51,303 Fallon Jaye: Alright, so Abby and I today are talking about 2 00:00:51,778 --> 00:00:52,048 Abby: self 3 00:00:52,810 --> 00:00:53,140 Fallon Jaye: yeah. 4 00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:57,818 Self love, which I feel like, um, I don't know, like everyone's talking about. 5 00:00:58,593 --> 00:01:00,023 , but it's also so important. 6 00:01:00,083 --> 00:01:01,883 But what does it actually mean? 7 00:01:02,423 --> 00:01:02,543 Yes. 8 00:01:02,573 --> 00:01:05,913 And I feel like how is it, how are the ways that we can really practice 9 00:01:05,913 --> 00:01:09,413 it and how is it really relevant versus, you know, saying we love 10 00:01:09,413 --> 00:01:10,973 ourselves or going through the motions. 11 00:01:10,978 --> 00:01:16,113 And so I think it's still a really important topic, even though it's still 12 00:01:16,113 --> 00:01:18,443 Abby: well, it's very, yeah. 13 00:01:18,443 --> 00:01:20,873 And the other thing too that just occurred to me as you were talking 14 00:01:20,878 --> 00:01:23,363 is like so many people are talking. 15 00:01:24,548 --> 00:01:27,308 Self-love and also like self-care. 16 00:01:27,338 --> 00:01:31,688 And I feel like conflating those two things and being like, oh, well, 17 00:01:32,318 --> 00:01:36,278 you know, if you schedule in like a nice bath every week and you're like 18 00:01:36,278 --> 00:01:42,248 drinking a lot of water and whatever, getting massages, then like Woo, 19 00:01:42,548 --> 00:01:44,558 self-love, self-care, all of that. 20 00:01:45,068 --> 00:01:50,768 And I think what's more interesting to both you and I is all of the ways 21 00:01:50,768 --> 00:01:52,328 in which self-love is like none of. 22 00:01:53,803 --> 00:01:59,168 , like ooey-gooey things that feel really good, like sometimes self-love 23 00:01:59,408 --> 00:02:07,718 is giving yourself like permission to feel really horrible and like not 24 00:02:07,723 --> 00:02:13,268 beat yourself up about it, or letting yourself sit in your feelings and 25 00:02:13,748 --> 00:02:19,838 not immediately rush to make yourself feel better or distract yourself or. 26 00:02:21,458 --> 00:02:26,798 Yeah, I think there are so many ways that we get to love ourselves and 27 00:02:26,803 --> 00:02:33,278 get to choose to love ourselves that are not necessarily what you would 28 00:02:33,458 --> 00:02:35,288 hear about, I think in mainstream. 29 00:02:35,888 --> 00:02:36,488 Right. 30 00:02:37,008 --> 00:02:39,098 Fallon Jaye: Personal development, . Yeah, because you know, I 31 00:02:39,098 --> 00:02:40,268 mean, it's taken a long time. 32 00:02:40,328 --> 00:02:43,748 I feel like, specifically for women to give themselves permission to 33 00:02:43,748 --> 00:02:46,178 do the things like the massages and the pedicures and the hot bath. 34 00:02:46,178 --> 00:02:46,418 Exactly. 35 00:02:47,288 --> 00:02:49,778 Dropping into that slow down, that feminine. 36 00:02:49,783 --> 00:02:50,048 Right. 37 00:02:50,048 --> 00:02:52,388 It's been a lot of work and so I think that that's where the 38 00:02:52,388 --> 00:02:54,278 self-love movement really began. 39 00:02:54,908 --> 00:02:58,238 Was, Hey, give yourself permission to take care of you. 40 00:02:58,538 --> 00:03:03,078 And now you and I are really talking about like, taking care of you actually 41 00:03:03,083 --> 00:03:08,078 looks a lot different than the hot bath, which I subscribe to basically daily, 42 00:03:08,078 --> 00:03:15,248 a hotter bath, but that means nothing if I'm unwilling to hold myself through 43 00:03:15,578 --> 00:03:20,978 discomfort, through tears, through, you know, through really looking at myself 44 00:03:20,978 --> 00:03:23,048 and taking radical responsibility for. 45 00:03:23,633 --> 00:03:27,908 the ways that I show up that may not be where I want to go or 46 00:03:27,908 --> 00:03:29,408 who I actually wanna be anymore. 47 00:03:29,438 --> 00:03:29,618 Right. 48 00:03:29,618 --> 00:03:33,518 And that is like deep self-love and I really, I have, I have felt that 49 00:03:33,518 --> 00:03:39,578 in my own life, a lot of self-love, even in the last year, more so, has 50 00:03:39,578 --> 00:03:41,628 been about doing the hard things. 51 00:03:41,658 --> 00:03:42,268 Mm-hmm. 52 00:03:42,388 --> 00:03:45,188 , like doing the things that are uncomfortable. 53 00:03:46,618 --> 00:03:49,343 because that is the practice of self-love because that is me 54 00:03:49,433 --> 00:03:51,653 holding myself to who I wanna be. 55 00:03:51,713 --> 00:03:55,643 And it isn't all about like the merry-go-round in rainbows and eating 56 00:03:56,033 --> 00:03:58,793 the gummy bears and the ice cream without feeling guilty about it. 57 00:03:58,793 --> 00:04:03,293 Yes, that is also part of it, but it's really meeting yourself deeper. 58 00:04:04,283 --> 00:04:09,173 Um, and really excavating a lot of who you've been and what is 59 00:04:09,173 --> 00:04:13,073 what, what, what dirt in that excavation is still serving you. 60 00:04:13,073 --> 00:04:15,173 What is old and needs to be, you know? 61 00:04:15,403 --> 00:04:15,683 Mm-hmm. 62 00:04:15,768 --> 00:04:17,003 composted in a different way. 63 00:04:17,663 --> 00:04:21,023 Um, and so I know you and I are really passionate about, like you 64 00:04:21,023 --> 00:04:22,643 said, feeling our feelings mm-hmm. 65 00:04:22,968 --> 00:04:27,443 and, uh, is self-love without skipping over and being like, oh, I gotta be 66 00:04:27,963 --> 00:04:30,353 positive, or I've gotta, and putting pressure on ourselves to be something 67 00:04:30,358 --> 00:04:31,853 other than we are in that moment. 68 00:04:32,393 --> 00:04:33,053 Abby: Exactly. 69 00:04:33,053 --> 00:04:33,383 And. 70 00:04:33,998 --> 00:04:38,138 and I was actually, so I, I had a, a client call with a woman about 71 00:04:38,138 --> 00:04:42,818 emotional eating a couple days ago, and it inspired this post that I have 72 00:04:42,818 --> 00:04:45,838 yet to post, but I wrote down Happens. 73 00:04:46,628 --> 00:04:46,928 Yeah. 74 00:04:47,558 --> 00:04:52,688 Which is like, what if, what if the things that we think are our 75 00:04:52,688 --> 00:04:58,328 worst habits are actually our most radical acts of self-love? 76 00:04:58,658 --> 00:04:59,348 Because. 77 00:05:00,533 --> 00:05:04,433 , for example, like in this person, and I could say for myself, like biting my nails 78 00:05:04,733 --> 00:05:06,563 is always something that like bothers me. 79 00:05:06,563 --> 00:05:07,673 That is like a habit. 80 00:05:07,673 --> 00:05:10,973 A habit that I, I hate, you know, not, not that I hate about myself because 81 00:05:10,973 --> 00:05:12,293 obviously I've done a lot of work. 82 00:05:12,833 --> 00:05:14,633 Um, but a habit that is annoying. 83 00:05:14,963 --> 00:05:20,393 And for this other person, it's like, what if you know, you, you're using 84 00:05:20,393 --> 00:05:24,743 food because you, uh, when you grew up, you were in an unstable environment. 85 00:05:25,628 --> 00:05:30,368 Food was the thing that you saw, you know, being used in celebration and for comfort 86 00:05:30,368 --> 00:05:33,188 and like to grieve when things happened. 87 00:05:33,188 --> 00:05:40,538 And what if by you choosing to use food in those ways was your way of, of nurturing 88 00:05:40,538 --> 00:05:45,968 yourself and your way of allowing yourself to feel these feelings and not 89 00:05:45,968 --> 00:05:50,898 necessarily just like shove them away, but that's how you gave yourself love. 90 00:05:51,728 --> 00:05:57,413 And so it's, it's like getting to the core of these things that don't 91 00:05:57,413 --> 00:06:00,533 need to be judged as bad or wrong. 92 00:06:00,593 --> 00:06:02,063 They just are. 93 00:06:02,723 --> 00:06:09,263 And maybe they're just not serving who you would like to step into and that's okay. 94 00:06:09,563 --> 00:06:13,073 But then that's where you kind of get to do the work around that. 95 00:06:13,313 --> 00:06:17,183 But it's, I think, learning that we get to start at this baseline 96 00:06:17,188 --> 00:06:22,793 of everything about you in this moment is, , everything is baseline. 97 00:06:23,153 --> 00:06:26,033 I don't even wanna say good because again, I kind of hate using like 98 00:06:26,033 --> 00:06:30,713 the, the good and bad or good versus evil construct, right? 99 00:06:31,673 --> 00:06:34,343 Like every, every part of us is, is okay. 100 00:06:34,523 --> 00:06:35,033 We're all 101 00:06:35,363 --> 00:06:38,723 Fallon Jaye: well, yeah, it's absolutely okay because it's all, 102 00:06:39,893 --> 00:06:42,413 it's all ways in which we created. 103 00:06:43,343 --> 00:06:45,863 Our safety created this, this feeling. 104 00:06:45,863 --> 00:06:45,953 Mm-hmm. 105 00:06:46,193 --> 00:06:48,293 of I'm gonna be loved and I'm not gonna be abandoned. 106 00:06:48,293 --> 00:06:48,473 Right. 107 00:06:48,473 --> 00:06:50,753 The core, the core, core wounds. 108 00:06:50,933 --> 00:06:51,083 Mm-hmm. 109 00:06:51,323 --> 00:06:52,163 what is all okay. 110 00:06:52,163 --> 00:06:55,733 Because it is all a part of our subconscious programming, those patterns. 111 00:06:55,738 --> 00:06:56,043 Mm-hmm. 112 00:06:56,223 --> 00:06:59,093 . And that is how we got to where we are now. 113 00:06:59,573 --> 00:07:04,223 And had we not had those, maybe we wouldn't be where we're at and 114 00:07:04,223 --> 00:07:06,503 maybe it would be a little bit more dire straits or we don't know. 115 00:07:06,503 --> 00:07:06,803 Right. 116 00:07:06,803 --> 00:07:10,943 So I love that because it's like when we really take the view, the perspective, 117 00:07:12,518 --> 00:07:17,858 When I was a little person, a little girl, or a little boy, this is what I learned. 118 00:07:17,858 --> 00:07:20,888 This is what I taught myself or learned from society or whatever, my 119 00:07:20,893 --> 00:07:26,858 caregivers, in order to feel okay, to feel good, to feel safe, to feel 120 00:07:27,218 --> 00:07:31,838 loved, all the all the core things that we really need, then it is okay. 121 00:07:31,838 --> 00:07:34,268 When you really take that perspective of like that little girl, your. 122 00:07:35,558 --> 00:07:36,878 Learn to emotionally eat. 123 00:07:37,658 --> 00:07:38,138 Yeah. 124 00:07:38,318 --> 00:07:41,108 Abby: Is a possible, and if you live in a chaotic environment and you're 125 00:07:41,108 --> 00:07:45,698 trying to just figure out how to give yourself some stability, yes. 126 00:07:45,698 --> 00:07:52,058 Like all of the ways in which we learn to keep our internal state as like 127 00:07:52,088 --> 00:07:54,578 in as much homeostasis as possible. 128 00:07:54,938 --> 00:07:55,388 Fallon Jaye: Right. 129 00:07:55,478 --> 00:07:58,328 Acknowledging too, like for myself, my homeostasis. 130 00:07:59,723 --> 00:08:02,633 Um, living in a lot of chaos and learning to be calm in that 131 00:08:02,693 --> 00:08:04,733 and, and then recognizing now. 132 00:08:05,003 --> 00:08:05,273 Right. 133 00:08:05,273 --> 00:08:08,213 And part of my self-love journey has been to recognize that I actually get 134 00:08:08,213 --> 00:08:14,873 to learn a new homeostasis of it is okay and safe to be calm and calm. 135 00:08:14,873 --> 00:08:15,173 Mm-hmm. 136 00:08:15,473 --> 00:08:16,903 , Abby: you don't have to say The calm 137 00:08:16,913 --> 00:08:17,423 Fallon Jaye: And the calm. 138 00:08:17,693 --> 00:08:18,113 Yeah. 139 00:08:18,113 --> 00:08:18,833 The calm and the call. 140 00:08:18,833 --> 00:08:21,113 I'm like, I don't have to subconsciously create a situation in. 141 00:08:22,163 --> 00:08:25,703 , there's some chaos going on outside of me, and then I'm like, okay, I'm, I can, 142 00:08:25,763 --> 00:08:27,683 I'm the calm in the storm all the time. 143 00:08:27,683 --> 00:08:30,683 It's like, why can't I just be calm in the non storms too? 144 00:08:31,133 --> 00:08:31,223 Mm-hmm. 145 00:08:31,468 --> 00:08:32,813 , you know, so it is that self-love. 146 00:08:32,813 --> 00:08:36,623 It's like, okay, well that's okay because that was my, that was my 147 00:08:36,713 --> 00:08:38,483 world for a long time growing up was. 148 00:08:38,958 --> 00:08:40,218 , the chaos and the storms. 149 00:08:40,218 --> 00:08:40,578 Right. 150 00:08:40,578 --> 00:08:45,648 And being like, okay, I'm calm and I'm strong in this, and now God, that 151 00:08:45,648 --> 00:08:46,848 doesn't actually feel good anymore. 152 00:08:47,328 --> 00:08:47,798 . Right, right. 153 00:08:48,168 --> 00:08:51,228 And you know, you've been on this journey with me and so now it's the really 154 00:08:51,233 --> 00:08:54,588 deepening into I am safe with myself. 155 00:08:55,038 --> 00:08:56,358 I am safe and quiet. 156 00:08:56,808 --> 00:08:58,428 I am safe on the sunny days. 157 00:08:58,578 --> 00:08:59,178 Mm-hmm. 158 00:08:59,568 --> 00:09:05,568 not, you know, and so the, the self-love journey is, is really so deep. 159 00:09:05,718 --> 00:09:07,998 And then we can use the practices. 160 00:09:08,538 --> 00:09:09,178 To really like. 161 00:09:10,283 --> 00:09:11,783 I don't know, like, what's the word I'm looking for? 162 00:09:11,783 --> 00:09:15,383 Like kind of just n nurture or hold some of that together. 163 00:09:15,383 --> 00:09:16,643 So like the hot bath, right. 164 00:09:16,643 --> 00:09:18,743 Or even sometimes the cold bath, because that is 165 00:09:19,053 --> 00:09:19,663 Abby: active. 166 00:09:19,663 --> 00:09:20,783 Not for me, but for you. 167 00:09:20,783 --> 00:09:21,353 That's great. 168 00:09:21,623 --> 00:09:21,863 Yeah. 169 00:09:21,953 --> 00:09:22,253 So the 170 00:09:22,253 --> 00:09:25,163 Fallon Jaye: Cold Bath, you know, I do cold baths, ice bath to help, 171 00:09:25,793 --> 00:09:29,663 um, activate my nervous system and hold myself in that activation. 172 00:09:29,663 --> 00:09:30,443 Discomfort. 173 00:09:30,593 --> 00:09:31,523 In the discomfort. 174 00:09:31,523 --> 00:09:32,063 Yes. 175 00:09:32,093 --> 00:09:35,723 And, um, breathe through that and helps, you know, my anxiety and all. 176 00:09:35,723 --> 00:09:38,243 I mean, you know, we, there's so much, so many benefits to 177 00:09:38,243 --> 00:09:38,993 it if you're called to it. 178 00:09:39,823 --> 00:09:41,383 Then we get to use those practices. 179 00:09:41,383 --> 00:09:47,773 My point being is to kind of like nurture the deeper work that 180 00:09:47,983 --> 00:09:48,913 we're doing, that we're doing. 181 00:09:49,033 --> 00:09:49,123 Mm-hmm. 182 00:09:49,363 --> 00:09:53,413 , you know, and be really soft with ourselves through, through that process. 183 00:09:53,413 --> 00:09:57,073 Because as you know, it's not all rainbows and butterflies, but it's Right. 184 00:09:57,493 --> 00:09:58,993 So beautiful on the other side. 185 00:09:59,533 --> 00:10:00,043 Well, and 186 00:10:00,048 --> 00:10:05,143 Abby: you get this, you get to then choose what other ways in. 187 00:10:07,103 --> 00:10:08,768 , you get to nurture yourself. 188 00:10:08,918 --> 00:10:15,458 What other ways can you feel, get those same, feel good feelings, or come back 189 00:10:15,463 --> 00:10:19,688 to homeostasis or feel very at peace and very comforted, very supported 190 00:10:20,348 --> 00:10:25,178 that support the life that you then wanna be living, moving forward. 191 00:10:25,438 --> 00:10:32,078 And like everything that you're talking about, and I know for 192 00:10:32,318 --> 00:10:34,328 me, like going back to my own c. 193 00:10:35,728 --> 00:10:42,593 , I was very, I was the youngest of a lot of kids and everybody, it was very 194 00:10:42,863 --> 00:10:47,783 chaotic in terms of just everybody, you know, doing a lot of things and, 195 00:10:48,563 --> 00:10:52,463 and I think my role was more of being like the peacemaker or the one who 196 00:10:52,463 --> 00:10:55,763 like was not a problem, quote unquote. 197 00:10:56,093 --> 00:10:59,183 Or the one who was like, you know, she was the easy child, you know? 198 00:10:59,183 --> 00:11:03,683 And like taking pride in being easy and then feeling like now as an. 199 00:11:04,793 --> 00:11:06,053 Well, what if I'm not easy? 200 00:11:06,353 --> 00:11:08,003 What happens if I have an opinion? 201 00:11:08,003 --> 00:11:14,003 What happens if I have a voice and I, you know, make some 202 00:11:14,003 --> 00:11:15,473 ripples or make some waves? 203 00:11:15,473 --> 00:11:20,063 And that has been a fun learning experience for me, , especially with 204 00:11:20,063 --> 00:11:21,923 my parents in the last few years. 205 00:11:22,403 --> 00:11:22,883 yeah. 206 00:11:23,463 --> 00:11:29,423 But, but in a way that feels really good and feels like a, a big 207 00:11:29,423 --> 00:11:32,843 stretch for me, but like now I know how to hold myself through that. 208 00:11:34,708 --> 00:11:38,948 , you know, hold myself in, in the voice that I have and in 209 00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:40,238 the boundaries I've created. 210 00:11:40,238 --> 00:11:44,228 And you know, that can be a whole other podcast on creating 211 00:11:44,233 --> 00:11:45,628 boundaries, which I'm sure it will be. 212 00:11:46,088 --> 00:11:46,568 Fallon Jaye: Yes. 213 00:11:46,598 --> 00:11:47,108 Absolutely. 214 00:11:47,138 --> 00:11:49,298 And I, I relate to you in that a lot. 215 00:11:49,298 --> 00:11:52,208 Cause that's one thing my mom always said was like, you were such an easy kid. 216 00:11:52,538 --> 00:11:52,628 Mm-hmm. 217 00:11:52,868 --> 00:11:53,588 , you know, it's so easy. 218 00:11:53,588 --> 00:11:55,598 And part of me is like, I don't know that I ever thought that I had a 219 00:11:55,598 --> 00:11:57,398 choice to be otherwise . You know? 220 00:11:57,403 --> 00:12:00,938 Like, I don't think that there was an option for me not to be. 221 00:12:01,268 --> 00:12:04,118 So I think you and I both identify with that of like, we 222 00:12:04,123 --> 00:12:05,618 were not the problem children. 223 00:12:05,618 --> 00:12:10,088 And so navigating like, I might rock the boat with my truth. 224 00:12:10,478 --> 00:12:10,568 Mm-hmm. 225 00:12:10,813 --> 00:12:15,308 what I'm actually feeling here and can I. 226 00:12:16,703 --> 00:12:20,243 , you know, rocking the rhythm of that as other people are feeling those 227 00:12:20,243 --> 00:12:25,853 ripples, but that's their ripples of discomfort, not mine, right? 228 00:12:25,853 --> 00:12:29,063 Like, yes, I might feel like I'm the creator of it, but am I 229 00:12:29,563 --> 00:12:32,423 actually, or is their response to the creator of the ripples, right? 230 00:12:32,783 --> 00:12:38,003 And so really like watching that, watching that big picture of this is uncomfortable. 231 00:12:38,543 --> 00:12:40,013 And if I need to get my life jacket on. 232 00:12:41,168 --> 00:12:45,278 In the creation or the response of the ripples, then, then I will, you 233 00:12:45,278 --> 00:12:46,448 know, whatever that means for you. 234 00:12:46,448 --> 00:12:46,658 Right. 235 00:12:46,658 --> 00:12:49,058 Like mine is, you know, we both have our different ways of 236 00:12:49,058 --> 00:12:51,188 really the self soothing mm-hmm. 237 00:12:51,428 --> 00:12:53,858 in ways that I'm now serving, not in the old ways. 238 00:12:53,858 --> 00:12:54,068 Right? 239 00:12:54,068 --> 00:12:56,228 Like, like you noticed, like biting your nails. 240 00:12:56,228 --> 00:13:00,638 I was a nail biter for way more years of my life than not. 241 00:13:00,818 --> 00:13:03,968 Um, but we do, we have all these little ways in which we soothe 242 00:13:03,968 --> 00:13:05,528 that are like, maybe that's not. 243 00:13:06,518 --> 00:13:09,578 Not the greatest, but um, and I also love that you brought up boundaries. 244 00:13:09,578 --> 00:13:13,808 Cause that is such, it is, it's really its own podcast, but that is really, 245 00:13:14,858 --> 00:13:18,428 again, gonna create ripples and waves in your life that you get to learn how 246 00:13:18,428 --> 00:13:20,018 to hold yourself through the discomfort. 247 00:13:20,048 --> 00:13:25,598 And the last thing I wanna say on all of this for me, so I not just taking 248 00:13:25,598 --> 00:13:30,758 up, you know, just chit-chatting the whole time, is that reminding yourself. 249 00:13:31,763 --> 00:13:34,238 that discomfort is just a feeling. 250 00:13:34,298 --> 00:13:36,218 It doesn't mean anything is actually wrong. 251 00:13:36,638 --> 00:13:36,758 Mm-hmm. 252 00:13:36,998 --> 00:13:40,538 . And so whenever I'm feeling that like those changes and really that 253 00:13:40,538 --> 00:13:44,738 deeper self-love and like, oh, this is uncomfortable, this is sticky. 254 00:13:44,738 --> 00:13:47,348 Somebody might be mad at me, or whatever's feeling, it's, it's reminding 255 00:13:47,353 --> 00:13:49,478 myself that it's actually not bad. 256 00:13:50,198 --> 00:13:50,798 It's just mm-hmm. 257 00:13:51,043 --> 00:13:51,358 uncomfortable. 258 00:13:52,148 --> 00:13:53,648 Abby: Right, right, right. 259 00:13:54,578 --> 00:14:01,028 And, and learning to distinguish between those things is also. 260 00:14:02,033 --> 00:14:08,833 It's own act of self-love, it's own act of love, of just, it's so like learning 261 00:14:08,838 --> 00:14:12,593 to be, you know, which again, we're gonna talk about this I'm sure more 262 00:14:12,593 --> 00:14:19,733 and more on every podcast, but like learning to be very, um, just observing 263 00:14:19,733 --> 00:14:23,423 in tune with, with your thoughts, with your body, with your emotions, 264 00:14:23,423 --> 00:14:26,783 with how everything is feeling, what happens when you think something. 265 00:14:27,513 --> 00:14:30,668 and how does it, then, how does that emotion then live in your body? 266 00:14:30,668 --> 00:14:31,448 Where does it live? 267 00:14:31,738 --> 00:14:32,348 Mm-hmm. 268 00:14:32,433 --> 00:14:41,798 and, and being able to kind of look at that and, and see and feel and 269 00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:45,158 understand if any of that is even real. 270 00:14:45,488 --> 00:14:47,798 Like the emotion can be real. 271 00:14:48,128 --> 00:14:50,228 The thought oftentimes is not real. 272 00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:52,988 You know, it's like real in the sense that you had it. 273 00:14:54,458 --> 00:14:57,338 I guess real and more of the sense of being true or untrue or 274 00:14:57,368 --> 00:14:58,988 maybe true for you in the moment. 275 00:14:59,588 --> 00:14:59,978 Fallon Jaye: Right? 276 00:15:00,248 --> 00:15:00,398 Yeah. 277 00:15:01,158 --> 00:15:02,408 And is that just. 278 00:15:03,913 --> 00:15:08,093 A belief that I've held for a long time that I've made to be true versus 279 00:15:08,123 --> 00:15:11,243 is it belief that I've held for a long time that I'm deciding maybe there 280 00:15:11,248 --> 00:15:14,363 is some not truths to it that maybe, 281 00:15:14,753 --> 00:15:16,103 Abby: maybe it's not all the way true. 282 00:15:16,343 --> 00:15:16,793 Fallon Jaye: Yeah. 283 00:15:16,793 --> 00:15:21,053 That I subscribe to this belief because I needed to and I You don't even have 284 00:15:21,053 --> 00:15:22,673 to know why you needed to, right, right. 285 00:15:22,823 --> 00:15:25,163 You have to dissect the roots of like why I needed to. 286 00:15:25,433 --> 00:15:29,693 It's just okay, but now I get to remember that beliefs are subscription. 287 00:15:30,353 --> 00:15:35,018 and I can unsubscribe at any time while holding my right, like you said, really 288 00:15:35,408 --> 00:15:39,188 feeling the map within my body and where I'm holding that belief and where 289 00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:43,358 the activation is and where I need to really like say, Hey, I see you, right? 290 00:15:43,358 --> 00:15:45,308 Like, I'm so big and I teach my daughter this too. 291 00:15:45,308 --> 00:15:46,718 Well, where do you feel it in your body? 292 00:15:46,958 --> 00:15:47,408 What does it. 293 00:15:47,523 --> 00:15:49,443 Saying, what is it telling you? 294 00:15:49,448 --> 00:15:49,913 Mm-hmm. 295 00:15:49,993 --> 00:15:52,593 , you know, maybe it's, I'm scared, maybe it's, I don't know if I can 296 00:15:52,593 --> 00:15:55,293 do this, whatever it is, but really being like, okay, I see you and 297 00:15:55,293 --> 00:15:59,043 seeing that part of you by actually verbally acknowledging mm-hmm. 298 00:15:59,523 --> 00:15:59,733 Okay. 299 00:15:59,733 --> 00:16:04,503 I see you insert, you know, emotion, feeling sensation right. 300 00:16:04,773 --> 00:16:05,193 Of you. 301 00:16:05,523 --> 00:16:10,803 Um, versus like you said earlier, you know, pivoting to the positive too soon. 302 00:16:11,163 --> 00:16:11,553 Abby: Right. 303 00:16:11,763 --> 00:16:12,003 Right. 304 00:16:13,448 --> 00:16:17,018 I started laughing or I I got an idea when you were talking about like 305 00:16:17,018 --> 00:16:20,468 how all of these beliefs are just subscriptions and how, you know, there's 306 00:16:20,468 --> 00:16:25,358 a, there's that app that I always get, um, I always get it on Instagram. 307 00:16:25,748 --> 00:16:31,463 That is a targeted ad to me where it's like, hey, Here's just this one app 308 00:16:31,463 --> 00:16:34,673 where you can go through all of your subscriptions and like unsubscribe from, 309 00:16:34,973 --> 00:16:38,213 you know, which ones you don't wanna be paying for or like whatever, you know? 310 00:16:38,483 --> 00:16:42,773 I'm like, wouldn't that be so nice to just, just like have an app that's 311 00:16:42,773 --> 00:16:45,743 like, hmm, do I wanna unsubscribe from like all of these beliefs? 312 00:16:45,743 --> 00:16:46,073 Yes. 313 00:16:46,073 --> 00:16:48,383 We're just gonna like, click that button off and then 314 00:16:48,413 --> 00:16:49,883 that's done and let's move on. 315 00:16:50,333 --> 00:16:51,353 . Oh, I wish it were, 316 00:16:51,683 --> 00:16:55,723 Fallon Jaye: I wish it weren't . I know, but the human 317 00:16:55,723 --> 00:16:57,503 psyche is so much more complex. 318 00:16:57,863 --> 00:16:58,553 , Abby: it's so much more. 319 00:16:59,433 --> 00:17:00,903 Oh my gosh, yes. 320 00:17:01,803 --> 00:17:04,503 Um, so, oh, go ahead. 321 00:17:05,043 --> 00:17:09,273 No, one thing I was gonna say too, um, because I feel like we could go down in 322 00:17:09,273 --> 00:17:13,923 this rabbit hole of talking about like how to identify feelings and all of 323 00:17:13,923 --> 00:17:19,953 that stuff, but I just, I was thinking about, I mean, when we had had talked 324 00:17:19,953 --> 00:17:25,993 about this theme of self-love and talking about this, one of the things 325 00:17:26,223 --> 00:17:32,753 that came up for me was, when I was really, I even started with this journey. 326 00:17:32,783 --> 00:17:34,283 Yeah, I was, I was, okay. 327 00:17:34,283 --> 00:17:43,073 So I kind of started on my personal development journey and I remember, um, 328 00:17:44,153 --> 00:17:48,893 it was, I think Christmas night and I was at my grandma's house and I remember, 329 00:17:48,893 --> 00:17:53,903 and I just broken up with my, you know, long-term boyfriend of five years. 330 00:17:54,533 --> 00:17:57,143 And I remember just laying in bed thinking to. 331 00:17:59,753 --> 00:18:04,943 How, like silly things like, well, whatever they are, what they are. 332 00:18:07,103 --> 00:18:12,023 But thinking, oh my God, it's gonna be like, am I ever gonna, am I ever going 333 00:18:12,028 --> 00:18:14,453 to fall, like fall in love again and. 334 00:18:15,593 --> 00:18:18,923 It was so much easier because I had always, you know, when I was out, you 335 00:18:18,923 --> 00:18:20,573 know, I'd be out or whatever without him. 336 00:18:20,573 --> 00:18:23,153 And I feel like, you know how Gales can just like tell if you have a 337 00:18:23,153 --> 00:18:25,373 boyfriend and whenever you're like with somebody else, that's like when 338 00:18:25,378 --> 00:18:29,243 they flock to you and you're like, no, no, I don't have, like, I don't 339 00:18:29,248 --> 00:18:31,433 have time or space for you, whatever. 340 00:18:31,433 --> 00:18:32,453 I'm with somebody else. 341 00:18:32,873 --> 00:18:35,243 And then when, when you're single, sometimes it can feel like. 342 00:18:35,563 --> 00:18:36,163 Crickets. 343 00:18:36,823 --> 00:18:37,423 Fallon Jaye: I know. 344 00:18:37,423 --> 00:18:37,663 Yes. 345 00:18:37,663 --> 00:18:38,383 I'm single right now. 346 00:18:38,383 --> 00:18:39,223 And I, I would agree. 347 00:18:40,063 --> 00:18:41,853 , Abby: they're like, I'm feeling crickets. 348 00:18:42,303 --> 00:18:43,213 So many crickets. 349 00:18:43,753 --> 00:18:44,253 But they 350 00:18:44,253 --> 00:18:45,013 Fallon Jaye: make beautiful music. 351 00:18:45,683 --> 00:18:46,413 They do 352 00:18:48,673 --> 00:18:53,143 . Abby: Um, but I was thinking, I was laying there thinking, oh my God, 353 00:18:53,163 --> 00:18:56,583 how like it's so much easier to. 354 00:18:57,453 --> 00:19:00,998 it's, it feels so much easier to find love, like when you already have it, you 355 00:19:00,998 --> 00:19:02,648 know, when you already have the thing. 356 00:19:02,648 --> 00:19:04,688 It's so, it feels so much easier to attract that. 357 00:19:05,168 --> 00:19:11,978 And I got this voice in my head that was just, you know, it wasn't mine. 358 00:19:11,978 --> 00:19:15,578 It was, it was, I feel like the first time you really heard, you know, voice 359 00:19:15,578 --> 00:19:19,838 of intuition, voice of like angels guides come in being like, but what if 360 00:19:19,838 --> 00:19:21,368 you were the one who already loved you? 361 00:19:21,998 --> 00:19:23,978 Because I was like, it's so much easier when you already 362 00:19:23,978 --> 00:19:25,088 have someone who loves you. 363 00:19:26,033 --> 00:19:28,133 And they were like, well, what if you were the one who already loved you? 364 00:19:28,133 --> 00:19:32,243 And I was like, well, that is a fucking novel concept. 365 00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:35,273 Fallon Jaye: Well, what a mind bender. 366 00:19:36,153 --> 00:19:36,643 . What? 367 00:19:36,803 --> 00:19:41,273 I love this cause this goes into the depths of self-love of where 368 00:19:41,273 --> 00:19:44,883 are you looking for somebody else to fulfill for you exactly 369 00:19:44,883 --> 00:19:46,603 what you are not giving yourself. 370 00:19:46,603 --> 00:19:47,203 Mm-hmm. 371 00:19:47,283 --> 00:19:50,783 . And that is the creating the safety within yourself of like, okay, I was. 372 00:19:51,083 --> 00:19:55,433 Putting my power over here, my energy over here and, and you know, 373 00:19:55,493 --> 00:19:59,513 either subconsciously or outwardly consciously blaming this person 374 00:19:59,518 --> 00:20:01,133 for not being able to fulfill this. 375 00:20:01,463 --> 00:20:04,913 But have I actually even tried to give that to myself? 376 00:20:05,123 --> 00:20:05,963 Exactly. 377 00:20:06,083 --> 00:20:06,203 Abby: Mm-hmm. 378 00:20:06,473 --> 00:20:12,893 , like so many, I think so many women are oftentimes like, you 379 00:20:12,893 --> 00:20:15,683 know, when it comes to dating or it comes to being in relationships 380 00:20:15,683 --> 00:20:17,063 and they're always so concerned. 381 00:20:18,743 --> 00:20:21,893 How their partner's feeling about something or if it's something that 382 00:20:21,893 --> 00:20:23,273 their partner is gonna be okay with. 383 00:20:23,273 --> 00:20:29,423 And, and I, you know, have to call it back to, okay, it's great that you're, 384 00:20:29,483 --> 00:20:34,253 that you're wanting to be a good partner here, but what do you think about this? 385 00:20:34,493 --> 00:20:38,153 Is this person, even the kind of person that you wanna be with, 386 00:20:38,183 --> 00:20:42,203 who cares if they, if they don't like you, do you even like them? 387 00:20:42,383 --> 00:20:45,143 Like, are they even the kind of partner that you wanna be with? 388 00:20:45,143 --> 00:20:45,983 Are they even. 389 00:20:46,868 --> 00:20:51,218 Did they even have any or all of the qualities or whatever, and 390 00:20:51,218 --> 00:20:56,138 just taking it back to, okay, no, what do I actually want for myself? 391 00:20:56,138 --> 00:20:59,888 What am I looking to create for myself in my life? 392 00:20:59,888 --> 00:21:02,018 Not even just in relationships, but Yes. 393 00:21:02,078 --> 00:21:03,248 With any relationship that 394 00:21:03,248 --> 00:21:03,638 Fallon Jaye: you're in. 395 00:21:03,998 --> 00:21:04,328 Yeah. 396 00:21:04,388 --> 00:21:07,328 Relationship with job, with money, with success, with career. 397 00:21:07,328 --> 00:21:07,628 Yes. 398 00:21:07,628 --> 00:21:09,128 All of friendships, sisterhoods. 399 00:21:09,578 --> 00:21:09,908 Yeah. 400 00:21:10,058 --> 00:21:10,478 And. 401 00:21:11,753 --> 00:21:16,703 Am do I like who I have to be in order to maintain this relationship? 402 00:21:16,708 --> 00:21:17,003 Does it 403 00:21:17,003 --> 00:21:21,533 Abby: exactly, am I making myself small or, or am I making myself less? 404 00:21:21,893 --> 00:21:22,343 Fallon Jaye: Yes. 405 00:21:22,343 --> 00:21:26,843 And am I molding and I, and I am I bending to try to understand to 406 00:21:26,843 --> 00:21:28,793 become somebody different, you know? 407 00:21:29,568 --> 00:21:35,003 and that that self betrayal becomes really loud when you be, let yourself 408 00:21:35,008 --> 00:21:39,173 be really honest and also let yourself walk through the fires of potentially 409 00:21:39,173 --> 00:21:40,943 being very alone for a while. 410 00:21:41,153 --> 00:21:41,303 Yeah. 411 00:21:41,573 --> 00:21:46,163 When you no longer allow yourself to betray yourself, people will fall 412 00:21:46,163 --> 00:21:48,113 away and it will get a little lonely. 413 00:21:48,113 --> 00:21:51,863 Or, I don't even have to say I don't, haven't experienced loneliness 414 00:21:51,863 --> 00:21:54,173 in a long time as I've, you know, walked through the fires of my 415 00:21:54,178 --> 00:21:56,633 last 18 months of a lot of alone. 416 00:21:57,288 --> 00:22:04,638 But it is a, there is a, an alone energy around it, but not lonely because 417 00:22:04,638 --> 00:22:08,838 the depths of which you hold yourself in that sense, that real self-love, 418 00:22:08,843 --> 00:22:10,128 like you and I are talking about. 419 00:22:10,703 --> 00:22:13,733 Authentic, raw, unfiltered. 420 00:22:14,033 --> 00:22:14,123 Mm-hmm. 421 00:22:15,593 --> 00:22:16,523 self-love. 422 00:22:17,053 --> 00:22:19,673 Straight from God, straight from the earth, straight from, you know, 423 00:22:19,673 --> 00:22:24,293 like there's, there's no cleaning it up because it's so raw that, 424 00:22:24,503 --> 00:22:26,843 that, that loneliness dissipates. 425 00:22:27,173 --> 00:22:31,133 But it is, you know, it's a journey of like, okay, some fire, you know, some 426 00:22:31,133 --> 00:22:32,655 things are getting burnt down or a lot of 427 00:22:32,660 --> 00:22:33,023 Abby: things. 428 00:22:33,353 --> 00:22:37,103 Well, and you know, like you're saying, people will fall away. 429 00:22:38,078 --> 00:22:44,578 You will actually find yourself probably maybe for the first time, Hmm. 430 00:22:45,278 --> 00:22:45,488 Price. 431 00:22:45,488 --> 00:22:52,118 So it might feel, I don't know, it might feel lonely as if the people 432 00:22:52,118 --> 00:22:55,448 who are not really meant to be in your circle are no longer there. 433 00:22:55,508 --> 00:23:00,488 And that is a different kind of discomfort because as part of the 434 00:23:00,488 --> 00:23:04,088 human experience, we wanna be social and part of groups and part of things. 435 00:23:04,088 --> 00:23:06,938 And it's not saying that you need to like get rid of all of your friends, it's. 436 00:23:08,513 --> 00:23:13,718 God again, like back to boundaries, like holding, holding the, you know, 437 00:23:13,718 --> 00:23:17,858 your circle open for only the people of the highest, like who are gonna 438 00:23:17,858 --> 00:23:24,098 help you and you help them be kind of the best versions of yourself. 439 00:23:24,698 --> 00:23:24,878 Yes. 440 00:23:24,878 --> 00:23:29,078 And putting yourself in relationship to people only 441 00:23:29,078 --> 00:23:30,578 with like the highest standards. 442 00:23:31,148 --> 00:23:31,388 Yes. 443 00:23:31,438 --> 00:23:31,878 In that. 444 00:23:32,543 --> 00:23:35,333 Fallon Jaye: and recognizing when you, when you do feel that distortion 445 00:23:35,333 --> 00:23:38,513 that, that, you know, that messy, that kind of muddy energy mm-hmm. 446 00:23:39,083 --> 00:23:43,503 , it doesn't mean the other person or experience is bad, it's just Right. 447 00:23:43,823 --> 00:23:47,303 Not, it's just not meshing with your reality, your experience, and the 448 00:23:47,303 --> 00:23:48,593 way that your soul would like it too. 449 00:23:48,733 --> 00:23:49,343 Mm-hmm. 450 00:23:49,428 --> 00:23:50,783 , you know, but it's like I. 451 00:23:51,948 --> 00:23:56,228 , you know, I met you right bef right before kind of du like at the very 452 00:23:56,228 --> 00:24:00,038 beginning of so much of my life burning down and losing a lot of people. 453 00:24:00,788 --> 00:24:05,738 And so I wanna remind people too, that like as things are burning and as you 454 00:24:06,398 --> 00:24:08,648 mm-hmm are unwilling to betray yourself. 455 00:24:09,018 --> 00:24:13,458 And your truth, and you're willing to walk through the, that forest solo. 456 00:24:13,878 --> 00:24:17,808 You find other people, you know, like my Abby, you know, you find these 457 00:24:17,808 --> 00:24:20,808 people that are like, Hey, do you mind if I walk with you for a while 458 00:24:20,808 --> 00:24:24,528 and let's talk about the flowers and the birds and oh man, there, it's the 459 00:24:24,533 --> 00:24:26,028 whole forest step here burnt down. 460 00:24:26,033 --> 00:24:26,688 You're like, yeah. 461 00:24:26,693 --> 00:24:28,158 You know, so it's like you find. 462 00:24:29,348 --> 00:24:30,518 Or they're delivered to you. 463 00:24:30,518 --> 00:24:31,328 You don't even find them. 464 00:24:31,328 --> 00:24:34,658 They're there, you know, they're, they've been on the path all along waiting for 465 00:24:34,658 --> 00:24:39,998 you to take that right or that left on the, on the path that is really of your. 466 00:24:40,748 --> 00:24:42,338 Your highest, healthiest good. 467 00:24:42,338 --> 00:24:43,208 It's just right. 468 00:24:43,448 --> 00:24:48,038 Leaving behind the comfort zone in order to do to, to become that and to walk that. 469 00:24:48,398 --> 00:24:48,818 Abby: Right. 470 00:24:48,823 --> 00:24:53,018 And you know, again, this could be, well this will be a whole other podcast just 471 00:24:53,018 --> 00:24:57,338 on energetics of things, but it's like when you're the energetic of who you're 472 00:24:57,343 --> 00:24:59,408 holding space for, who you're holding. 473 00:24:59,948 --> 00:25:03,278 Like the energetic of the blueprint of the kind of person 474 00:25:03,278 --> 00:25:04,928 that you'll allow into your field. 475 00:25:04,933 --> 00:25:05,258 Mm-hmm. 476 00:25:05,338 --> 00:25:08,468 those people will then start to come into your field and other people will 477 00:25:08,468 --> 00:25:12,308 just naturally fall away because you just don't have, you don't have space 478 00:25:12,308 --> 00:25:14,678 in, in your zone for them anymore. 479 00:25:15,068 --> 00:25:15,128 Yeah. 480 00:25:15,128 --> 00:25:16,478 And it just is how it is. 481 00:25:16,868 --> 00:25:17,108 And it 482 00:25:17,108 --> 00:25:21,458 Fallon Jaye: becomes less about them being bad or good and just more, yeah. 483 00:25:21,568 --> 00:25:22,058 Okay. 484 00:25:22,058 --> 00:25:22,298 That's 485 00:25:22,298 --> 00:25:22,658 Abby: different. 486 00:25:22,658 --> 00:25:23,579 Not, not for. 487 00:25:24,463 --> 00:25:27,638 May, and maybe they served you well and taught you a lesson at some point 488 00:25:27,638 --> 00:25:30,368 in your life, and then you get to move on and you both get to move on. 489 00:25:30,578 --> 00:25:31,058 Fallon Jaye: Yeah. 490 00:25:31,058 --> 00:25:36,278 And also I'm not for them and that doesn't make me bad or better or worse or anything 491 00:25:36,278 --> 00:25:38,528 where Yeah, it's just, it just is. 492 00:25:38,808 --> 00:25:39,298 Yeah. 493 00:25:39,303 --> 00:25:43,208 And you know, also when you personalize it, it's another layer of self-love 494 00:25:43,208 --> 00:25:44,738 of like, okay, I'm personalizing this. 495 00:25:45,563 --> 00:25:50,603 How can I pull back my projections or whatever I'm feeling and and nurture 496 00:25:50,603 --> 00:25:55,433 what I most need, but it really becomes this beautiful trust of life leading. 497 00:25:56,183 --> 00:25:56,273 Mm-hmm. 498 00:25:56,693 --> 00:26:00,683 bring you exactly what you need, when you need it, who you need, all of the things. 499 00:26:01,313 --> 00:26:05,513 And your job is to continually tune into yourself, nurture yourself, and take 500 00:26:05,513 --> 00:26:06,113 Abby: the next step. 501 00:26:06,743 --> 00:26:07,043 Yeah. 502 00:26:07,043 --> 00:26:10,913 And create the standards around what you are available for. 503 00:26:11,033 --> 00:26:11,573 Yes. 504 00:26:11,633 --> 00:26:14,333 And those of experiences are then going to. 505 00:26:15,008 --> 00:26:19,148 You'll be guided to, they'll be delivered to you and you'll go for it. 506 00:26:19,478 --> 00:26:21,368 Fallon Jaye: Decide over and over, you know? 507 00:26:21,368 --> 00:26:21,608 Mm-hmm. 508 00:26:21,688 --> 00:26:22,048 , I mean, 509 00:26:22,678 --> 00:26:23,248 Abby: it's not 510 00:26:23,248 --> 00:26:24,068 Fallon Jaye: a one time decision. 511 00:26:24,188 --> 00:26:29,318 No, you, we have to have to decide again, like, okay, this is my okay. 512 00:26:29,318 --> 00:26:31,478 Because just because we create a standard and a boundary. 513 00:26:32,333 --> 00:26:35,283 We're then going to get the opportunity to, to, that's it. 514 00:26:35,283 --> 00:26:37,163 Become who we said we were becoming. 515 00:26:37,163 --> 00:26:37,443 Yeah. 516 00:26:37,443 --> 00:26:37,803 Right. 517 00:26:37,803 --> 00:26:41,843 And so that is like sitting in the discomfort of like, this has to be a 518 00:26:41,843 --> 00:26:45,143 no, because I know that this crosses the boundaries, but it's really uncomfortable. 519 00:26:45,173 --> 00:26:45,263 Mm-hmm. 520 00:26:45,503 --> 00:26:48,203 . So we get opportunities to, to fall back into old patterns. 521 00:26:48,203 --> 00:26:52,673 And it doesn't make us right or wrong, it just gives us more practice or, or send 522 00:26:52,673 --> 00:26:56,303 the discomfort of like, oh, okay, this is, I'm no longer available for this. 523 00:26:56,303 --> 00:26:59,243 And so if I say yes to this, then I'm sending mixed messages 524 00:26:59,243 --> 00:27:00,863 not only to myself, but to. 525 00:27:01,253 --> 00:27:03,013 the world and mm-hmm. 526 00:27:03,133 --> 00:27:03,733 , we get to decide. 527 00:27:04,063 --> 00:27:04,453 Abby: Yeah. 528 00:27:04,663 --> 00:27:09,733 And taking it back to our original topic of self left , I mean, this is, I feel 529 00:27:09,738 --> 00:27:15,943 like the true depths of what it means in reality is choosing every day who 530 00:27:15,943 --> 00:27:17,983 you wanna be, what you're available for. 531 00:27:18,523 --> 00:27:23,593 That regardless of like how it all goes, you are gonna sit, sit with yourself, love 532 00:27:24,023 --> 00:27:26,053 yourself, nurture yourself through it. 533 00:27:26,413 --> 00:27:27,193 Even if. 534 00:27:27,863 --> 00:27:29,363 You fuck it up because we all do. 535 00:27:29,543 --> 00:27:31,403 We're all gonna like, do stupid shit. 536 00:27:31,463 --> 00:27:33,293 And, and is it stupid? 537 00:27:33,683 --> 00:27:36,473 It might feel stupid to your human brain, but maybe it was the lesson 538 00:27:36,473 --> 00:27:44,723 you needed to learn and just like allowing all of the things to flow 539 00:27:45,233 --> 00:27:49,913 through you and you to flow through it while continually making the choice 540 00:27:50,363 --> 00:27:53,093 of what you want and who you wanna be. 541 00:27:53,543 --> 00:27:54,143 Fallon Jaye: Yes. 542 00:27:54,173 --> 00:27:55,233 And and yeah. 543 00:27:55,313 --> 00:27:55,733 And choosing. 544 00:27:56,858 --> 00:27:57,248 Yeah. 545 00:27:57,638 --> 00:27:59,048 And that's not bad. 546 00:27:59,468 --> 00:27:59,648 No. 547 00:27:59,648 --> 00:28:01,478 Like keeping yourself is so good. 548 00:28:01,908 --> 00:28:02,498 . Abby: So good. 549 00:28:02,788 --> 00:28:03,378 So good. 550 00:28:03,743 --> 00:28:04,238 , so good. 551 00:28:04,568 --> 00:28:05,108 And it's just 552 00:28:05,288 --> 00:28:06,218 Fallon Jaye: uncomfortable in the beginning. 553 00:28:06,218 --> 00:28:07,298 And it's still uncomfortable. 554 00:28:07,298 --> 00:28:11,228 I mean, there's times that, that even now I'm like, oh, this feels a little 555 00:28:11,233 --> 00:28:13,088 bit, you know, quote unquote selfish. 556 00:28:13,298 --> 00:28:16,778 But is this what's going to fill my cup to be able to then fill others? 557 00:28:17,783 --> 00:28:18,473 Exactly. 558 00:28:18,683 --> 00:28:23,183 Um, and if the answer is yes, then it is no longer self selfish from it. 559 00:28:23,183 --> 00:28:26,603 The negative way that we've learned of the definition of selfish, 560 00:28:26,603 --> 00:28:27,733 you know, it's, it's selfish. 561 00:28:28,073 --> 00:28:30,383 It's actually really nurturing. 562 00:28:30,653 --> 00:28:34,463 So then I have my natural nurture in me, doesn't feel empty. 563 00:28:34,823 --> 00:28:38,843 My natural nurturer actually gets to expand and like water. 564 00:28:38,843 --> 00:28:40,913 All the things around me from a place of. 565 00:28:41,813 --> 00:28:43,553 Oh my God, this is so joyful. 566 00:28:43,613 --> 00:28:44,123 Exactly. 567 00:28:44,123 --> 00:28:44,963 I was like, joy. 568 00:28:45,023 --> 00:28:45,353 Yeah. 569 00:28:45,353 --> 00:28:46,823 This is my natural state. 570 00:28:47,423 --> 00:28:47,813 You know? 571 00:28:47,813 --> 00:28:52,193 Whereas if I just, if we don't listen, we're, we're really doing 572 00:28:52,193 --> 00:28:53,963 it from the emptiness that we know. 573 00:28:53,968 --> 00:28:56,333 That creates resentment and there's a whole ripple effect and 574 00:28:56,663 --> 00:28:59,603 just an opportunity for us to get back in alignment if we fall back 575 00:28:59,603 --> 00:29:00,743 into those pleasing patterns. 576 00:29:00,743 --> 00:29:04,823 But yeah, you know, I think you and I are making it really clear 577 00:29:04,823 --> 00:29:07,913 that we could just talk about this subject for like five more episodes. 578 00:29:08,603 --> 00:29:08,893 . I 579 00:29:08,893 --> 00:29:10,733 Abby: know I just had a vision of you just. 580 00:29:11,648 --> 00:29:15,668 Like kind of, um, walking, not even walking, but like skipping around like 581 00:29:15,668 --> 00:29:19,748 a yard with like a watering can and just like, just watering little like sparkles 582 00:29:19,748 --> 00:29:23,288 of water on like different areas of your life and different people and being like, 583 00:29:23,288 --> 00:29:24,788 see, and this is what it looks like. 584 00:29:24,848 --> 00:29:25,568 This is great. 585 00:29:25,658 --> 00:29:30,398 You know, graphic gonna just let it spray all over myself 586 00:29:30,518 --> 00:29:31,628 and then I'm gonna fill it up. 587 00:29:33,068 --> 00:29:33,908 I water everything around 588 00:29:33,908 --> 00:29:34,178 Fallon Jaye: me. 589 00:29:34,478 --> 00:29:35,738 I like that visual though. 590 00:29:35,738 --> 00:29:36,728 It's true. 591 00:29:36,848 --> 00:29:37,148 You know? 592 00:29:37,148 --> 00:29:37,898 It's true. 593 00:29:38,468 --> 00:29:38,768 Yeah. 594 00:29:38,948 --> 00:29:40,188 That's the way it gets to be. 595 00:29:41,423 --> 00:29:41,573 Abby: It is. 596 00:29:42,653 --> 00:29:44,353 So I think this was a. 597 00:29:45,413 --> 00:29:46,883 A good, um, pretty good take, 598 00:29:47,723 --> 00:29:49,133 Fallon Jaye: take off point of self 599 00:29:50,183 --> 00:29:51,023 I'm just getting started. 600 00:29:51,173 --> 00:29:52,853 Abby: It's a good takeoff on this. 601 00:29:53,423 --> 00:29:57,563 And we've dived into several other topics that we can go into in more depth. 602 00:29:58,253 --> 00:29:58,853 Fallon Jaye: Yeah. 603 00:29:59,033 --> 00:30:02,603 But I think that, you know, the foundations of what it is are obviously 604 00:30:02,603 --> 00:30:04,733 very covered in this, in this episode. 605 00:30:04,733 --> 00:30:06,533 And so, you know, let us know. 606 00:30:06,623 --> 00:30:08,633 Share with us like what are your favorite. 607 00:30:09,243 --> 00:30:13,473 Ways to practice self-love or what have you learned about yourself in the process. 608 00:30:13,473 --> 00:30:17,943 And also if you'd like to hear more, you know, drop us talk, what you wanna hear 609 00:30:17,948 --> 00:30:19,323 and talk about and want us to go deeper 610 00:30:19,323 --> 00:30:19,863 Abby: into. 611 00:30:20,133 --> 00:30:20,433 Yeah. 612 00:30:20,433 --> 00:30:23,793 And if you wanna share your journey with it, we'd love to hear it too. 613 00:30:24,003 --> 00:30:24,453 Yes, 614 00:30:24,453 --> 00:30:25,263 Fallon Jaye: absolutely. 615 00:30:25,863 --> 00:30:30,783 Abby: So, okay, well this is so much fun, , and we'll talk to you soon.