Speaker 1: Welcome back, boo, back to a spoogie Halloween edition of Beardless, Dickless,
Speaker 1: Bootless Dickless Me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was quite an entrance.
Speaker 3: You said, make it a Halloween episode. I'm your one
Speaker 3: of your hosts, Kevin.
Speaker 2: Smith, and I am Harley Quinn Smith, the other host.
Speaker 3: I really feel like we're going to turn your volume up.
Speaker 3: But Will has not said anything about it. But it's
Speaker 3: now we have to start over and lose.
Speaker 2: We're not starting off talk now.
Speaker 3: We're committed. At this point. For everyone listening to the show,
Speaker 3: they're like, what the fuck happened? But if you see
Speaker 3: the show as you can only do exclusively that Kevin
Speaker 3: Smith Club join right now, you would watch the kid
Speaker 3: be like and not because I goofily talked about Halloween
Speaker 3: because she's goofy or Halloween today is your favorite holiday
Speaker 3: of the.
Speaker 2: Entire year, hollow day.
Speaker 4: Yes, it's the most wonderful time.
Speaker 5: It's the ghost wonderful Time movie.
Speaker 6: I remember when you were dancing earlier on FaceTime and
Speaker 6: I was like, Okay.
Speaker 2: He's gonna get it. He's gonna get it, He's gonna
Speaker 2: get it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 5: Yeah, what is uh why Halloween is supposed to like
Speaker 5: everything else, because I'm you figure like a Wednesday Thursday Adams.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess you could say, what's uh?
Speaker 3: What the glasses? Man? Are you getting a job in
Speaker 3: the sixties and a fucking madman firm? You look like
Speaker 3: one of those cats. All you're missing is the string
Speaker 3: that goes around the I have one of those, do
Speaker 3: you really?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 2: My friend made it for me, So why.
Speaker 3: Don't you bring it over and give it to your
Speaker 3: fucking mother because she needs one? I do too. Why
Speaker 3: those things aren't going anywhere? They look like they are
Speaker 3: firmly affixed in a kind of missus potato head fashion,
Speaker 3: Not that you are the missus potato head, but now it's.
Speaker 2: For all those listening. You just heard that right now.
Speaker 3: I wasn't calling you.
Speaker 2: My dad called me mister potato head.
Speaker 3: I said missus number one. That was very specific, But
Speaker 3: I was saying more how the glasses stick on to you?
Speaker 3: They're not going anywhere, like mister potato fuck?
Speaker 2: Is your is your hat attached?
Speaker 3: Look? I would I wouldn't bump into it at all.
Speaker 3: If you were like, hey, miss potato Head, I'd be like, oh,
Speaker 3: Harley's got a new nickname.
Speaker 7: For me.
Speaker 2: Do you have a potato hat? Mister potato head.
Speaker 3: Bro, mister potato hat might be my new fucking sobriquete
Speaker 3: going forward.
Speaker 2: Potato.
Speaker 3: Guess what the title of this episode is, mister Potato.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I want a little cartoon draw on me. Well,
Speaker 3: this is the beautiful thing about there's.
Speaker 2: Literally a potato in the other room.
Speaker 3: What do you mean. Oh, that's right, they've done.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've seen it.
Speaker 3: I guess all my dreams have already come true.
Speaker 2: Oh no, so spooky.
Speaker 3: From all I was about to get so excited about
Speaker 3: the prospect of mister potato hat a new character of mine.
Speaker 2: Well that that potato I.
Speaker 3: Used to wear the Bob Hawks jersey and ship. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Now the new insignia could be potato hat, which is
Speaker 3: my my head as a potato with the hat on
Speaker 3: top of potato with the hat on top.
Speaker 2: What a notion? Oh wow, inventive as fuck.
Speaker 3: You never know what's going to capture a potatot someone,
Speaker 3: you know, imagination where they're like, oh my god, that
Speaker 3: speaks to me. I am a potato and a fucking hat.
Speaker 3: You are you speak for me? Run for office at
Speaker 3: least an Idaho with that kind of thing.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, yeah, you should be like a a
Speaker 2: representative in the potato state.
Speaker 3: Right really sees that. Oh my god, Yeah, your film
Speaker 3: career is not really working out. Why don't you go
Speaker 3: to Idaho for thirty movies? Nice? But think go anywhere
Speaker 3: good Idaho? Idaho? You could be the king of the Potatoland.
Speaker 2: I love potatoes. You love potatoes. I yeah, we fucking
Speaker 2: love potatoes.
Speaker 3: There is a time where I love them lot. And
Speaker 3: then I went on after.
Speaker 2: The stroke stroke, Oh my god, knock on.
Speaker 3: The heart attack. After I had heart attacked, I went
Speaker 3: on an all potato diet and I was like, what
Speaker 3: this is? You know, Pendulette hooked me up with the
Speaker 3: dude Ray Cronius his name was, and he does a
Speaker 3: like a health site balled just sides. I think it
Speaker 3: was meaning like vegetables just so. Penn was like, you know,
Speaker 3: I read Penn's book and listened to it because he's
Speaker 3: fun to listen to, got a great voice. And he
Speaker 3: talked about doing this potato diet where it was like
Speaker 3: ten days and all he ate was potatoes. It wasn't
Speaker 3: At the time. I was like, you know, especially coming
Speaker 3: off the heart attack and whatnot. And I was like, well,
Speaker 3: I gotta do something, and you were like, oh, vecan
Speaker 3: And I was like all right, and so I was like,
Speaker 3: how do I fucking do that? And I was like, well, potato,
Speaker 3: I don't know IF's the vegetable. It's more of a
Speaker 3: tuber but it counts as not being an animal.
Speaker 2: I heard that.
Speaker 3: I mean, I hope I'm not given after let me
Speaker 3: see a legume.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what I was thinking that. But as you see,
Speaker 2: you always say, well what if we just what? What's
Speaker 2: that annoying thing you always say when I like.
Speaker 3: Set it up like that.
Speaker 2: When I'm wondering something, and then you make like.
Speaker 3: Some Oh God, wouldn't it be great if we had
Speaker 3: some magic box?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah.
Speaker 3: The potato Salanum tuberosum is a starchy root vegetable. It's
Speaker 3: a vegetable that is a staple food in many parts
Speaker 3: of the world. Potatoes are tubers of the plant Salanum tuberosum,
Speaker 3: a perennial in the night shade family. They're witchy potatoes
Speaker 3: on the Potatoes are a good source of potassium, which
Speaker 3: is an electrolynte that helps the heart, muscles, and nervous system.
Speaker 3: Potatoes is also good dain Vitamin C, which prevents scurvy.
Speaker 2: Oh well, thank god, it's really.
Speaker 3: Nothing we think about these days. But hey, but hey,
Speaker 3: I don't want it to come back.
Speaker 2: I'll take it.
Speaker 3: Nobody fucking thinks about scurvy until it's back, and they're like,
Speaker 3: fucking so true, won't you fucking wash? And it's like,
Speaker 3: don't come from that? Come from then not eat enough potatoes?
Speaker 3: How the fuck does this country have any scurvy? Good point,
Speaker 3: that's right. America might be the capital of non existent.
Speaker 2: Scurvy because of potatoes.
Speaker 3: I don't know anybody. Don't eat potatoes in this world.
Speaker 3: Vitamin C, which prevents scurvy previously established, and fiber, which
Speaker 3: is important to the digestive health. This is what are like,
Speaker 3: did they really just look up what a potato is?
Speaker 3: What people from another planet trying to cognize our culture?
Speaker 2: A beard listickless me if you would like to learn
Speaker 2: more about potatoes.
Speaker 3: There are other vegetables you'd like to learn about. Click
Speaker 3: like and subscribe. Smash that like and subscribe button. We're
Speaker 3: on our way to one hundred followers. Talking about tubers
Speaker 3: dad and daughter.
Speaker 2: Next week we can look up carrots.
Speaker 3: Fuck that. Anyway, back to the point. I went on
Speaker 3: this potato diet and I was like, I fucking love potato.
Speaker 3: This is gonna be easy, be a cake walk. This
Speaker 3: is like somebody being like, all right, if you in
Speaker 3: order to save the world, you're gonna have to masturbate
Speaker 3: every day. I'm like, oh, I got this, and the
Speaker 3: problem I had, what the fuck?
Speaker 6: What?
Speaker 3: But why?
Speaker 2: But why?
Speaker 3: Sometimes you gotta write good ev you know. Ray's like, well,
Speaker 3: you can't use oil to cook him, and you can't
Speaker 3: put salt on them. You can't put anything on and
Speaker 3: you can just bake them, boil them, broil them, but
Speaker 3: you can't use anything. Just that flat out tuber the
Speaker 3: vegetable itself. And I was like, I'm on it. Fucking
Speaker 3: this's gonna be a cake walk. By the end of
Speaker 3: day two, I was like, I fucking hate potato. I
Speaker 3: never liked him. I liked mashed potatoes with means, I
Speaker 3: like milk and potter.
Speaker 8: Mamma, oh my please.
Speaker 2: I thought this was gonna be da free. That's my
Speaker 2: cat movement in case. I was just ting.
Speaker 3: Like, why did you go to that voice ship? Does
Speaker 3: he fucking insulting the half the country, the southern part
Speaker 3: of the country. That's the dumb ass cat's fucking voice.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, let me rephrase that, that's her cat's dumb
Speaker 3: ass voice. I'm mumma. He revealed the truth in him words.
Speaker 4: Mamma, Grandpappy hate had Bobby keyboard, simmil tongue.
Speaker 3: Okay, okay.
Speaker 2: When goes on steroids and becomes the whole have you
Speaker 2: put them on asroid yet?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 2: For those who are wondering what the is going on,
Speaker 2: my cat has asthma. One of my fur cats has asthma.
Speaker 3: And what was the lesson the harsh lesson you learned
Speaker 3: today for the last night or whatever.
Speaker 2: I'm not talking about it, but you.
Speaker 3: Learned that, Like without going into detail.
Speaker 2: Don't.
Speaker 3: He bro.
Speaker 2: Put me on the spot. Let me tell you about
Speaker 2: all the things you.
Speaker 3: Did wrong about I was giving you a runway so
Speaker 3: you could take off and be like, thank you for
Speaker 3: building this father. You're a piece of ship, Joe Shiit
Speaker 3: Essentially that's therapy, isn't it. Like at the end of
Speaker 3: the day of the therapist, when I went to the
Speaker 3: fucking to the stir the bet you. They were constantly
Speaker 3: trying to get at my parents so like, what did
Speaker 3: Momily do to you?
Speaker 2: I was like, it all goes back to the parents,
Speaker 2: it really does.
Speaker 3: I I a month, I withstood there fucking torture, and
Speaker 3: I never broke to be like it was fucking Momily,
Speaker 3: but it was Mommily. It was so many or everything
Speaker 3: have to do with Momily and I have a I've
Speaker 3: always had a great relationship, but much better relationship I feel,
Speaker 3: from Clerks forward. Yeah, but that was tough for Momily
Speaker 3: because that was like having to cut the apron strings.
Speaker 3: And she was like, but I and she had me long, like, yeah,
Speaker 3: like some kind of loser. I lived at home till
Speaker 3: I was twenty three.
Speaker 2: Literally, what the fuck is happening? Are you trying to
Speaker 2: fight today?
Speaker 3: That doesn't show you how like wonderfully similar we are.
Speaker 3: We both lived at home until we were both losers, losers,
Speaker 3: aly fucking nuts.
Speaker 2: Like you just said that.
Speaker 3: Because that's what people used to say about motherfuckers who
Speaker 3: like stayed home and ship. Now it's all different, the
Speaker 3: paradigm is different. Your generation changed that stuff because none
Speaker 3: of you kids won't leave the house. Apparently you did. Yeah,
Speaker 3: you're like, but most kids are like a problem. Most
Speaker 3: adults I guess I've heard or I've read online. I
Speaker 3: had the other problem where they're like, my kid won't
Speaker 3: move out and ship. I'm like, oh man, I wish
Speaker 3: that was my problem. I do have a fantasy that
Speaker 3: everybody comes back to live in the house. What it
Speaker 3: may take.
Speaker 2: My house. You love my house. You love my house.
Speaker 2: You always say such nice things about it. Just kidding.
Speaker 2: He's so mean about my eyes.
Speaker 3: Her house is love lying adorable for her. But like
Speaker 3: you know, I'm not even a tall man. But when
Speaker 3: I'm in her house, I'm scraping my head on the ceiling.
Speaker 2: And you sound like a privilege. Fuck you sound like
Speaker 2: a privileged house.
Speaker 3: No, the privilege is to go to Hobbiton and see
Speaker 3: how Bilbo back lives.
Speaker 6: I just I'm so glad that this is a podcast
Speaker 6: and that it's recorded in that everyone can hear.
Speaker 3: You know what it is.
Speaker 2: He's saying fighting words today, throwing fighting words out there.
Speaker 3: If you watch the show, I must be really pushing
Speaker 3: it hard, like go to that if you see the show,
Speaker 3: and you could probably hear it too, because Danil, our producer,
Speaker 3: is always like, can you bring the ceiling down. I've
Speaker 3: now accustomed to a home I've lived in for twenty
Speaker 3: two years. Very high ceilings.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like twice the size of a normal home.
Speaker 3: Cathedral ceilings if you will. It allows for ridiculously large
Speaker 3: art as you can see behind me. Stuff. That being said,
Speaker 3: when you go to places that you know where the
Speaker 3: ceiling is normal height than others because they're well, I
Speaker 3: think I think your ceiling might be a little lower
Speaker 3: than those.
Speaker 2: My ceiling is lower than.
Speaker 3: The twenty one Jackson Street ceiling that I grew up with.
Speaker 2: Well, you were shorter then because you were a child.
Speaker 3: It's just about Zach.
Speaker 2: I could never touch that, maybe because you were five.
Speaker 3: I'm just glad you pre figured it out for me
Speaker 3: because I was about to go down a path and
Speaker 3: you were like, I see it in his eyes. No, Father,
Speaker 3: you were a child then, so of course you wouldn't
Speaker 3: be able to reach it. You're right today.
Speaker 2: Momily said on the phone that you were quiet when
Speaker 2: I was a kid.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I buy that.
Speaker 2: Rose Murray said that too.
Speaker 3: I buy that.
Speaker 6: And then I was like, I wonder because Rose Murray
Speaker 6: was like, she was saying that you were always observing hm,
Speaker 6: and I was like, oh, this makes sense.
Speaker 3: He was I I was observing as much as plotting,
Speaker 3: and I was like, which one can I step on
Speaker 3: to get to my future in? And all about eve fashion,
Speaker 3: and I was like, they all better buckle up. This
Speaker 3: is going to be a bumpy round.
Speaker 2: Literally.
Speaker 3: I my sister tells me that too. You're a Virginia,
Speaker 3: my sister Virginia shall be like you were quiet. You
Speaker 3: were a quiet kid. You weren't like this when you
Speaker 3: were a kid.
Speaker 2: You're still quiet.
Speaker 3: Now. No, I'm kidding. I could at home, I could
Speaker 3: be very quiet.
Speaker 2: No, you're always doing a little bit.
Speaker 3: You're likes always doing a little bit. Look at his
Speaker 3: da looking at a two step and always.
Speaker 2: Throwing fighting words out and always doing.
Speaker 3: Please give me your laughs and your love. Acknowledge. It
Speaker 3: was more than an acknowledgment. I don't know why I
Speaker 3: was a quiet kid. Honestly, I think it's because everyone
Speaker 3: wasn't grown up. Like the closest person to me in
Speaker 3: age was Donald, but he's four years old. They're always
Speaker 3: my older brother, And I'm not saying that, like what
Speaker 3: a shitty fucking ride. Like, thank god there was that guy.
Speaker 3: He was my older brother. He's excellent, but you know,
Speaker 3: he was still closer to Virginia's age, and so those
Speaker 3: two paled around like thick as thieves. They were like
Speaker 3: Lucky and Birdie, Like they went to school together. They
Speaker 3: fucking in high school. Everyone was like you dating each
Speaker 3: other because they were always like around each other. Really, yeah,
Speaker 3: little did they know that Uncle Don was not into
Speaker 3: Virginia Virginia whatsoever. But yeah, they were. They were closer
Speaker 3: than I was. But I shared the room with Don,
Speaker 3: and I had like a closeness with my brother because
Speaker 3: he was a boy. And that's gonna sound so fucking
Speaker 3: sad and gross, but you'll have to forget me. It
Speaker 3: was the seventies, like my sister Virginia like tells me
Speaker 3: now about like you don't remember, but you would be like, Virginia,
Speaker 3: you can't come in here because you're a girl.
Speaker 9: But that's you know, I was just I feel bad
Speaker 9: because my sister rude as fuck, but I was, you
Speaker 9: know what it was was I didn't know a whole
Speaker 9: behavior as.
Speaker 3: Well, but you were.
Speaker 2: But that's that's classic brothers sister's stuff.
Speaker 3: Maybe how would you know? You don't you don't you
Speaker 3: wouldn't let us bring a brother or a sister in
Speaker 3: the house. You would always ask Carl, like, do your brothers?
Speaker 2: I threatened to run away.
Speaker 3: She did it.
Speaker 8: It was no joke.
Speaker 3: You really shape the family, Like, thank god we didn't
Speaker 3: accidentally have another kid, because she might have been over
Speaker 3: the knife. De wont like.
Speaker 6: I literally recall being like, I'm so serious, and I
Speaker 6: was probably like five, what do you think it was?
Speaker 2: I'm so serious. If you have another kid, I will
Speaker 2: run away. I remember being I remember being like that.
Speaker 3: Now I'm gonna present something here, and I know you
Speaker 3: know I didn't have the same like issues as you.
Speaker 3: I didn't have a choice. I was the third kid,
Speaker 3: so I couldn't be like, why are these other two here?
Speaker 3: And get rid of them. I fucking crashed their party.
Speaker 3: You did, like, I'm sure you know. Virginia, she didn't
Speaker 3: have long enough without Donald because fucking Pompaly would not
Speaker 3: leave Mumbley alone was really in the marriage. So she's
Speaker 3: just like, so they're within a year of each other,
Speaker 3: so she didn't really have any time to be like,
Speaker 3: hey man, this life without somebody else's. But both of
Speaker 3: them had enough time to be like, all right, fucking
Speaker 3: wear human beings and we're on the planet.
Speaker 2: We had a long the parents so pissed. If I
Speaker 2: were them and you came along four years later.
Speaker 3: Not only not only did I come along three years later,
Speaker 3: but I was like, hell, the show begins, whereas Virginia says,
Speaker 3: like the Kevin Show.
Speaker 6: Also on Uncle Don's birthday, if I was Uncle Don,
Speaker 6: I would low cay hate you.
Speaker 3: But I am believing, like honestly, like my secret nightmares,
Speaker 3: like I'm convinced my brother loves me as much as
Speaker 3: I love my brother. But sometimes in the in the
Speaker 3: wee small hours in the morning, when like you know,
Speaker 3: there's no one around to tell you otherwise, and all
Speaker 3: you could do is just wind up in your head
Speaker 3: and start fucking relitigating everything, even things that don't need relitigating.
Speaker 3: From time to time, I'm like, I wonder if Donald
Speaker 3: liked me as much as he says he doeserve secretly
Speaker 3: Donald doesn't like me at all, And then I think
Speaker 3: it's made me so upset. I got Cassie.
Speaker 2: Beardlessless me. Listeners are like what the fuck is this?
Speaker 3: Like, hey, Manny burp, drink, that's the drinking game. They
Speaker 3: were like so demure.
Speaker 2: He called his Celsius Bridge.
Speaker 3: So I I think, uh, those cats early on. I
Speaker 3: had to oh no, here's my thesis. Ready.
Speaker 2: Wait, Remember when you told Austin, Austin will lead with
Speaker 2: you interrupted.
Speaker 3: Him because he was he was like a little labidor retriever.
Speaker 3: He was like and I was trying to lead with
Speaker 3: your thesiss. I didn't.
Speaker 2: I didn't bark, but I was like, this is you know,
Speaker 2: he fucking focused, not lead with your thesis.
Speaker 3: Here's my thesis. You I didn't want others like other brothers, sister,
Speaker 3: because you were like, hey, man, like fucking this is good.
Speaker 3: Like they're focused on me, Like I'm the focus here
Speaker 3: on the competition.
Speaker 2: What you think?
Speaker 3: I don't know?
Speaker 2: You tell me, I don't think I can say the answer.
Speaker 3: That bad? Yeah, because saying this ship, you were like
Speaker 3: two three yeah, oh yeah. From the gant as soon
Speaker 3: as you could talk. You were like, no siblings. I
Speaker 3: was like, holy ship, who taught her that whols and
Speaker 3: who taught her how to run her finger across her
Speaker 3: throat in a menacing fashion. Kids to have your first words.
Speaker 3: Weren't like mama or data. We just look no siblings.
Speaker 3: You were. You were part of the course. It was
Speaker 3: your brand from an early age. So regardless of whatever
Speaker 3: develops throughout the course of your life, maybe strengthen the
Speaker 3: don't get the Turby picture.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I'm so sorry making.
Speaker 3: Any more of these the all right, hey, focus my
Speaker 3: I know when I was a kid that I and
Speaker 3: just in the example I gave you with with Virginia,
Speaker 3: it wasn't so much like I don't like girls because
Speaker 3: I fucking loved my mother and she's a girl. I
Speaker 3: only knew this is gonna sound weird, but I only
Speaker 3: knew how to handle one person at a time, Like
Speaker 3: I don't know how to do crowds. I still don't
Speaker 3: know how to do crowds. That's why I get up
Speaker 3: on a stage and I do all the talking because
Speaker 3: I was actually at a party. I don't know how
Speaker 3: to do that.
Speaker 2: I actually feel that a lot for me or for you,
Speaker 2: for me.
Speaker 3: Similar I relate to that. I can't.
Speaker 6: I can like tell if, like if we're at a
Speaker 6: convention or something, I'm talking to somebody, I'm like, even
Speaker 6: if people are like doing stuff, I have to be
Speaker 6: like dialed into laser person, yeah, laser focused to because
Speaker 6: I want to give that person my attention, but also
Speaker 6: because I literally if I let anything else beyond that
Speaker 6: person like into my into my brain. I immediately my
Speaker 6: brain explodes. I can't handle multiple things going on at once.
Speaker 3: Which fair, I'll take that, But what you live in
Speaker 3: a house where first you lived in a house where
Speaker 3: it was just you and Austin. And by the way,
Speaker 3: I just did a whole round of press for in
Speaker 3: England because the movie came out over there digitally, but
Speaker 3: it came out. Everyone said the beautiful things about your
Speaker 3: boyfriend's performance. But there was one guy who was just like,
Speaker 3: before we go, can I ask you a question. I'm
Speaker 3: not gonna try to do the accident ship. They were
Speaker 3: all British, use your imagination, but I was like yeah yeah,
Speaker 3: and he goes, I just want to make sure is
Speaker 3: it you're still doing? Sorry, well I have to is
Speaker 3: it yeah? Because he is this Jure or zig and
Speaker 3: I was like, Austin, oh Zager yeah. And he was like, oh,
Speaker 3: thank you because he didn't want to be in the internet.
Speaker 3: He was like the performance by as says you, if
Speaker 3: motherfucker been known as Austin z Azure, we open at
Speaker 3: number one, that's so true because that's like Timothy Shallowy
Speaker 3: type name. You tell him to start being azure.
Speaker 2: It sounds so fancy. You really get from that?
Speaker 3: Laius so true? Do you know what that is.
Speaker 2: Deep down somewhere? Yeah, I don't know if you could
Speaker 2: deep down somewhere.
Speaker 3: It was from a Jeens commercial in the eighties. I
Speaker 3: was like, what the are you a traveler? This commercial
Speaker 3: was ooh la la cessong La laessong. So nobody remembers it.
Speaker 3: So now he could literally have his own fucking little song, Zesu.
Speaker 3: That's how he should slate all of his fucking you know.
Speaker 3: Was it called selfie no self tape?
Speaker 2: Self tapes? Yeah, when you have to do your human.
Speaker 3: Instead of like, Hi'm Austin's ager, I'm fucking twenty nine
Speaker 3: or whatever, talking him four ft.
Speaker 8: Whatever.
Speaker 3: I didn't mean him specifically, I could do that. Do
Speaker 3: you have to don't? Yeah, don't. I was just that
Speaker 3: was not you were for me? I did not. No,
Speaker 3: I didn't mean it like he's short. I meant just like,
Speaker 3: don't you have to provide?
Speaker 2: Yes you have to, Yeah, but I like how you
Speaker 2: threw his age out there.
Speaker 3: But you're like, but he's for Yes, I feel pretty smart.
Speaker 3: And also you would let me finish my little sketch
Speaker 3: instead of doing all that bullshit. He starts to self
Speaker 3: date by being like winks and then listening he does
Speaker 3: this ship where he puts his hand in front of
Speaker 3: his face to like the Zen mask, and then he's like, lion.
Speaker 6: Limit, that's so, that's so embarrassing, we should do that
Speaker 6: before we do the podcastle face.
Speaker 3: Ben and Matt did that, and Jane Silmbob Shark Back
Speaker 3: in the movie or Yeah, when they're playing themselves in
Speaker 3: the movie. At one point we're watching before the take,
Speaker 3: they're like, all right, let's get ready. Lyon Faceing goes, yeah,
Speaker 3: lion face.
Speaker 2: I was like, they did that to prepare for.
Speaker 3: Once in their lives. They did that to prepare. But
Speaker 3: by the time in two thousand and one we were
Speaker 3: making janes Son Bob Shark Back, they were long enough
Speaker 3: in their careers, but they're like, let's make fun of
Speaker 3: that thing we used to always do. So it was
Speaker 3: an acting exercise that they once took seriously, but now
Speaker 3: that they were movie stars, they're like, huh. Now one
Speaker 3: of them was like the other guys, it's like no, no, no,
Speaker 3: lion face. Lemon face is a necessary part of the
Speaker 3: tool to get to the craft, which.
Speaker 2: One Ben said that to Matt. Matt said that to Bed.
Speaker 3: If anybody said that, I assure you it would be bad.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Ben wouldn't give that. Ben would not give Kevin Smith movie.
Speaker 3: I just I don't mean to.
Speaker 2: He is my best friend.
Speaker 3: Sorry, I dropped the name so hard the table almost broke.
Speaker 3: But yeah, and drop off these names. Yeah. No, Matt's
Speaker 3: even on a Kevin Smith movie. Would like give the
Speaker 3: Craft thought, whereas Ben would be like, no, just tell
Speaker 3: me how to say it. Let's move the funk on.
Speaker 3: That's right, say I gotta get the old one out
Speaker 3: of my head, la la, let me see if I
Speaker 3: can find that here for me. If we spend time
Speaker 3: looking up and.
Speaker 8: Reading, but thought it was like a night shade, that's true.
Speaker 3: That would have brought us back to fucking Halloween. We
Speaker 3: didn't let it, no, but it could bring us back
Speaker 3: to Witchcraft real quick. And as much as like I,
Speaker 3: while I was sick, I had enough time to fuck
Speaker 3: with Agatha all along, and I watched the first two episodes.
Speaker 3: I was like, Yeah, Then I watched all of them
Speaker 3: and ship and episode six and seven are really fucking strong,
Speaker 3: but seven is absolute fucking fire.
Speaker 2: But special feelings they Oh my god.
Speaker 3: I rewatched one part of it like ten fucking times
Speaker 3: over and over. It's beautiful. You don't even have to
Speaker 3: like Marvel things to like just see to watch it
Speaker 3: an amazing, just a great sequence. And Patty LuPone is
Speaker 3: at the center of it, and she's just fucking a legend.
Speaker 3: So in any event in the episode, I don't know
Speaker 3: is that episode or the episode before, but Sashier's Amata
Speaker 3: who we worked with, and yogos dropping off names. She
Speaker 3: is referencing like she's the potions expert, so she has
Speaker 3: to put shit together. So she's trying to put together
Speaker 3: a cauldron, which is a sink in the you know,
Speaker 3: fucking kitchen sink, a cauldron all the ingredients, but one
Speaker 3: of the ingredients for she calls for Eye of Newt
Speaker 3: and I but it was and I it was something
Speaker 3: stupid like mustard seed, okay or something like that, where
Speaker 3: it's like, that's Eye of Newt And I looked it
Speaker 3: up online and it is really so all these years,
Speaker 3: fifty four fucking years, whenever I heard some witchy thing
Speaker 3: be like the guy of Newt was they gotta fucking
Speaker 3: catch a Newton eye out? Literally, it's just another name
Speaker 3: for like coriander.
Speaker 2: Truly, it's just like a mustard seed.
Speaker 3: I mean where now? This is why I told your
Speaker 3: mom was like Harley got out here and she went
Speaker 3: upstairs to Sai hid to gen and then when we
Speaker 3: came down to record the show Queen of Fomo upstairs,
Speaker 3: it was like, okay, bye, I don't what will I
Speaker 3: do now? And I was like, why don't you come
Speaker 3: downstairs and just do the show? And she's like no.
Speaker 3: I was like, you could be the person on the
Speaker 3: show that we're like, look that up. And that's when
Speaker 3: she turns and goes, fuck you, I don't work for
Speaker 3: your buddy's. So she could have been looking both of
Speaker 3: these things up when I was coming to the Yeah,
Speaker 3: let me look up that's the only thing. But then
Speaker 3: what's the other one I will looking at?
Speaker 2: I have new Yes, thank you.
Speaker 3: Don't let me forget that? Why because I want to
Speaker 3: look it up? Why? Oh bro, get ready to be
Speaker 3: taken there.
Speaker 2: I'm ready.
Speaker 3: And this ain't even the commercial I'm talking about. I'm
Speaker 3: gonna find the one that is kind.
Speaker 6: Of more you know what?
Speaker 2: It sounds like Jim.
Speaker 3: From the same error. I don't even either, but they
Speaker 3: were committed to the lass song.
Speaker 2: Once again, the beardless stickles. The audience is like, what
Speaker 2: the fuck is this?
Speaker 7: There it is?
Speaker 2: Oh wow, the visual is even better.
Speaker 3: It's the New York Rangers singing along from nineteen seventy nine.
Speaker 3: Then La La, then your la la there that Yeah,
Speaker 3: that does sent me. Man. The kids say what used
Speaker 3: to say? I'm sorry? And then I have Newt? Fuck?
Speaker 3: Wait what we gotta we gotta we gotta close all
Speaker 3: the loops I of Newt.
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, look it up.
Speaker 3: See she would have been so helpful sitting here.
Speaker 2: Read the definition of a potato again. Please please?
Speaker 3: I have Newts mustard seed. The witch is seen in
Speaker 3: Shakespeare's Macbeth, describes a concoction that consists of eye of
Speaker 3: newt and toe of frog, wool of bat, and tongue
Speaker 3: of dog. Luckily, these terms refer to plants, not actual
Speaker 3: animal parts. I of Newt is a pseudonym for mustard seed.
Speaker 3: They did their research on that's really cool. They got
Speaker 3: that Disney money so they could pay somebody and be like,
Speaker 3: look that up, look that up.
Speaker 8: Meanwhile, I asked somebody to do it for free.
Speaker 3: You can't be bothered.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, Canoredlla.
Speaker 3: Thanks a lot.
Speaker 2: O la la, thanks for fucking nothing. Wait, I have
Speaker 2: a Halloween question.
Speaker 8: Okays, the internet will have an answer for you.
Speaker 2: Favorite horror movie.
Speaker 3: My favorite horror movie. Yeah, I think we've talked about this.
Speaker 3: I mean, like, you know, there are fucking all time
Speaker 3: classics like the Shining and stuff, But the one flick
Speaker 3: that I find incredibly unnerving and terrifying as a Texas
Speaker 3: chainsawm ask for two. Two One is hard, hard, one
Speaker 3: goes hard and plays like a documentary, so it's terrifying
Speaker 3: in its own right. But two to me is like
Speaker 3: the height of madness. And every time I try to
Speaker 3: make something that's like edgy or whatever, like a Tusk
Speaker 3: or Red State or something like that, that is my model,
Speaker 3: like always, just still captures my imagination to this day.
Speaker 3: I think it came out in nineteen eighty six, Oh yes,
Speaker 3: the year of Austin Zizure in the four to thirty
Speaker 3: movie movie. But I know while I was doing press,
Speaker 3: because there was a point I was telling about doing
Speaker 3: fucking press. Was was it? I thought that came afterwards? No,
Speaker 3: that was the press, but they did ask about them
Speaker 3: on the interview. I think there was something else. I
Speaker 3: think I was bringing up doing the press because like
Speaker 3: why because I was sitting there and I was saying something,
Speaker 3: you know, I was doing something something that was hardly
Speaker 3: When she was kid, Harley would tell stories like you
Speaker 3: kept your imagination by like, you know, telling her stories
Speaker 3: about like I I found this email that Nana printed
Speaker 3: up that I sent while I was away. Nana would
Speaker 3: sit there with Harley and write emails like I miss
Speaker 3: you Dad, where are you? Blah blah blah, and I would.
Speaker 2: Write back, I miss you, where are you? I need
Speaker 2: my dad.
Speaker 3: Here's a funny story about the dogs driving a car.
Speaker 3: That's what I did. I would write like, I miss you,
Speaker 3: but I a song Scully and Moulder. I saw Scully
Speaker 3: and Molder like driving a car. They were driving through
Speaker 3: the city, and so I'll tell this little story about
Speaker 3: the dogs driving a car. And so Harley would constantly
Speaker 3: write her version of the story, which she's like one
Speaker 3: time Molder and Scully took a car and then they
Speaker 3: ate something, pleaved something to the end. I was like,
Speaker 3: you know what, three x structure, it's all there, writing legend,
Speaker 3: writing legend. The other morning I woke up to ten pages.
Speaker 3: How much it was that feels like it was a
Speaker 3: solid ten because at first I was like ten pages
Speaker 3: the fu And then I was like, you know what
Speaker 3: I did tell her to write? Yeah, what the fuck?
Speaker 2: This man literally is constantly like your destiny. It is
Speaker 2: your destiny to the writer.
Speaker 3: I'll tell him.
Speaker 2: You would never.
Speaker 6: Assume from the way I speak, because I speak like
Speaker 6: a yet but but yeah, I guess.
Speaker 3: Oh, I've been saying it for years. I was like,
Speaker 3: you've got to write. It's a new at your destiny
Speaker 3: to write. And I was proven right by the fact
Speaker 3: that she sent me ten pages that I was like, Wow,
Speaker 3: this is really good, and not in a way of like, oh,
Speaker 3: I'm proud of my kid. I can divorce myself from
Speaker 3: that shit really easy and whatnot, especially when it comes
Speaker 3: to like, you know, fucking amen, I no story and
Speaker 3: I never read scripts like people ask me to reach it.
Speaker 3: I hate that and whatnot.
Speaker 2: I'm from gem yeah remember.
Speaker 3: Yeah, fucking yeah. But uh I read these, man, and
Speaker 3: I'd like I woke up. It was like four or
Speaker 3: four thirty in the morning, so I was sitting there
Speaker 3: reading them, and I was so fucking delighted. So I'm like,
Speaker 3: I'm not pumping your tires, just pump your tires. But
Speaker 3: I was duly fucking impressed where I was like, and
Speaker 3: then I fell smart because I was like I knew it,
Speaker 3: like I knew she could write, like there were definitely
Speaker 3: three moments, if not four moments in those dumb pages
Speaker 3: where I was like, nice, like she's doing she's calling
Speaker 3: from real life, and she's creating moments in a scene
Speaker 3: that fucking anyone could like cling on to identify it
Speaker 3: like it was good.
Speaker 5: It was.
Speaker 3: I was very, very fucking impressed. And it was a
Speaker 3: far cry from somebody eating something and playing with somebody.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, you would have been thinking about it if
Speaker 3: you were still in that story mode, you'd have been
Speaker 3: done in one page, eating.
Speaker 2: Something, playing with something. Walked so that I have we
Speaker 2: well we have.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I must have got it from you.
Speaker 2: I used that. I say that all the time because
Speaker 2: I think it's funny.
Speaker 3: I think I must still because I put up there
Speaker 3: was a the Catholic Church announced they have a new
Speaker 3: symbol like that they're adding and it's just crazy. I
Speaker 3: only know about it because the Internet that still remembers
Speaker 3: who the fuck I am, which.
Speaker 2: Is a lot.
Speaker 3: Scent scent and forwarded me because I saw a comment
Speaker 3: from some fucker today online in the comments section of
Speaker 3: a YouTube fucking clip of a video I put up
Speaker 3: where he was just like, gen X makes me so
Speaker 3: sad if they think anyone still watches these movies.
Speaker 2: Okay, if you've got to hype yourself, pipe yourself on.
Speaker 3: In that moment, I was dressing that one cat period,
Speaker 3: probably never going to listen to the show. But side note,
Speaker 3: there are a lot of people in that comment section
Speaker 3: who are like the comment section I put up because
Speaker 3: I put up that little short film that I showed
Speaker 3: you on the So there were a bunch of people
Speaker 3: going like, I've been waiting to hear this since I
Speaker 3: see it, since I heard it. I beardlesstick was literally
Speaker 3: ten comments I saw in the first hour said that
Speaker 3: now it stands to reason listen to us.
Speaker 2: We have no idea.
Speaker 3: I mean, don't the real dark Man.
Speaker 2: Someone else runs this for us, so we really don't know.
Speaker 3: No, So I was delighted. I was like, somebody's heard
Speaker 3: the show.
Speaker 2: Really, Actually, I wonder how many people listen to the show.
Speaker 2: Aren't you curious?
Speaker 3: Based on those comments, We're on our way smashed that
Speaker 3: leggings of skry but on our way to eleven kids.
Speaker 3: But anyway, the Catholic Church, like this is legit came
Speaker 3: up with a little like doll that is their new symbol.
Speaker 3: Oh it's crazy cross, yes, yeah, well the little dolls
Speaker 3: wearing a cross. But bro, it's nuts because it very
Speaker 3: closely parallels dogm So here it is Catholic TV. The
Speaker 3: Vatican has unveiled the official mascot of the Holy Year
Speaker 3: twenty twenty five. The mascot's name is loose Italian like Lucifer. Yeah,
Speaker 3: because Lucifer. The name of Lucifer is a light bringer
Speaker 3: loose light if for bringer. So he was the light
Speaker 3: bringer before he was a devil, before he was.
Speaker 2: You know, yeah, we know.
Speaker 3: Now we've covered listen to previous episode. Archbishop Ficiela says
Speaker 3: the mascot was inspired by the Church's desire to quote
Speaker 3: to live even within the pop culture so beloved by
Speaker 3: our youth. Now I'm gonna show you the image.
Speaker 2: Coraline.
Speaker 8: What online said that they're like.
Speaker 3: That Coraline Catholic cornline literally with an old man priest
Speaker 3: next to her.
Speaker 2: That's literally Coraline.
Speaker 3: So it's a little for if you're not watching and
Speaker 3: you're listening. It's a little I think it's a girl,
Speaker 3: I don't know, in a raincoat. She's wearing a crucifix
Speaker 3: around her neck, and she's got what looks like a
Speaker 3: you know, a fork that like Shepherd's.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but only it has one side.
Speaker 3: She's also wearing, so maybe it's just a walking stick.
Speaker 3: She's also wearing like, you know, Jay's jacket from one
Speaker 3: of the movies Yellow.
Speaker 2: Oh, are there seashells in her?
Speaker 3: No? There, it's you know, honestly, it looks like seashells
Speaker 3: and eyes, but it's the reflection meant to be a reflection.
Speaker 3: So in any event, this I'm you know, you're not
Speaker 3: way familiar with Dogma. But George Carlin as Cardinal Glick
Speaker 3: in the beginning of the movie says like, you know,
Speaker 3: the Catholic Church is gonna get rid of the crucifix
Speaker 3: because it's depressing it. So they were replacing it with
Speaker 3: this brand new symbol, and that's the Buddy Christ. That's
Speaker 3: where the Buddy Christ comes from, pointing and thumbs up,
Speaker 3: which is if you want to see it in real life.
Speaker 3: Jane sound Abop secret stash in Red Bank, New Jersey
Speaker 3: now that was twenty five years ago in a movie.
Speaker 3: It was ridiculous. It was satire. It was like, oh,
Speaker 3: you know, Jesus, that points something cute because they think
Speaker 3: the crucifix is depressing, it'll never happen. And fucking twenty
Speaker 3: twenty four Fellow was like, hold my fucking beer, Oh
Speaker 3: my god, and they came out with loose and it
Speaker 3: made me like core line, it's crazy. It made me
Speaker 3: the like for twenty four hours. People were like, bro,
Speaker 3: like the Simpsons, you had a Simpsons moment where you
Speaker 3: predicted the future.
Speaker 2: And I was like, pretty cool.
Speaker 3: I did have a Simpsons moment. Loose, bro loose, loose
Speaker 3: bro loose? Who is a little child? Which I don't
Speaker 3: know if you know the optics, but fucking Catholic church
Speaker 3: and kids the scoreboard don't look real good. They could
Speaker 3: have gone with anything, but they went with loose.
Speaker 2: Hey, remember when you read the definition of a potato?
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's a highlight of fucking really, I would say,
Speaker 3: not just podcasts, but communication in general, the first written language.
Speaker 3: And then there's did you know a potato? You know what?
Speaker 3: How many people have ever stopped to read the definition?
Speaker 3: For granted, even you didn't know all those things we
Speaker 3: learned ship on beard li stickless me.
Speaker 2: You're welcome, La, La, You're welcome.
Speaker 3: I'm coming at you from mister potato hat himself.
Speaker 8: Hey you can't, mister potato hat.
Speaker 3: Did you know what potatoes? Why is that any more
Speaker 3: than loose? In fact, I would like to speak to
Speaker 3: the Catholic church, mister potato hat.
Speaker 8: Mister potato hat, Jesus died for your sins.
Speaker 2: Actually yeah, I like that.
Speaker 3: People. What's the what does the potato have to do
Speaker 3: with Jesus?
Speaker 8: Well, what does loose have to.
Speaker 3: Do with Jesus? Like you got us there?
Speaker 2: You put on you have a cross, that's.
Speaker 3: Right, he's wearing across around his neck and the potato
Speaker 3: and that hat is forward, not like my backwards. We
Speaker 3: got to the top.
Speaker 2: It's a top hat.
Speaker 3: No, because then then the plants people are on the
Speaker 3: phone going like Catherine or not, your fucker's getting suited.
Speaker 2: I forgot about that peanut that's.
Speaker 3: Right, the most famous.
Speaker 8: So we got to catch up.
Speaker 3: That fucker's had one hundred years ahead of fucking mister
Speaker 3: potato hat.
Speaker 8: So we got to pick the right chapeau. That's gonna
Speaker 8: make all the difference.
Speaker 2: Peanut is so sassy looking.
Speaker 3: He's so sassy looking that Robert Downey Junior voiced him
Speaker 3: a few years ago. Really, he never had a voice
Speaker 3: all that time. And then one day they were like,
Speaker 3: you know who the voice is, probably Jr. I was like,
Speaker 3: that's sassy, so demure, you love it, you love so
Speaker 3: we can't be that hat.
Speaker 2: It has to be your hat. It wouldn't make sense
Speaker 2: if if if you were mister potato hut.
Speaker 3: Now we're branching. Well, I'm doing the voice, but I
Speaker 3: don't have to look like you are the costume and Shrek,
Speaker 3: you could do a voice and.
Speaker 2: That look like, oh, you're wearing the costume.
Speaker 3: This is this is like they're gonna make animation? What
Speaker 3: did they call that? In Disney? When you wear the
Speaker 3: face character or face character is like Bell? Who is
Speaker 3: the costume mascot? What do they when you wear the cars? Oh? Yeah,
Speaker 3: how do you know? How do you not know the
Speaker 3: Disney term?
Speaker 2: When you're let me let me think back to let
Speaker 2: me think back to Freshman.
Speaker 3: Look at you accessing information. You're digging into your pensive.
Speaker 3: This is like a moment out of Harry Potter, but
Speaker 3: the America.
Speaker 8: But no magic whatsoever.
Speaker 2: But I'm just stupid.
Speaker 3: It really just comes down. You have glasses like Harry Potter.
Speaker 2: Why can't I I've said it before. It's the weed.
Speaker 3: Oh god, it could be. That's where it all starts
Speaker 3: going away, slipping away.
Speaker 2: Wait, I'm so bothered.
Speaker 3: I mean, if only there was some mission, I could
Speaker 3: tell us information we're missing. And once again, I'm just
Speaker 3: gonna blend this out. She's not here to hear it.
Speaker 3: But this is the third time. Would have been super
Speaker 3: really abuse my mother. All Right, what am I looking at?
Speaker 3: What do they call Disney costume characters?
Speaker 8: Don't let the show go dark?
Speaker 3: You got sorry? I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: I was still trying. I was my mind was racing.
Speaker 3: Somebody's gonna eat something.
Speaker 2: So there were these dogs, then they something.
Speaker 3: Disney costume characters, also known as costumed performers. That's it.
Speaker 3: That's what you were struggling to remember. One, I think
Speaker 3: you're okay. One they interact with guests and yeah, blah
Speaker 3: blah blah. That's it. They just create. So there's costume.
Speaker 2: I think there is like a fresh bake like term.
Speaker 3: But I'll just I'll just like, what's it like to
Speaker 3: work as a costumed character Disney Amusement parks Man. We
Speaker 3: just fell down the rabbit hole of that. So what
Speaker 3: was the point of that? So if I'm playing the guy,
Speaker 3: you're right, he should be wearing a baseball capital. Yeah,
Speaker 3: but I can't be back. If it's backwards, then people
Speaker 3: know the guy.
Speaker 2: You know what you don't?
Speaker 3: Why am I letting it go? I gotta hold on
Speaker 3: a piece of this.
Speaker 2: Yeah, why why do you not want people to know
Speaker 2: you are mister potato Hot?
Speaker 3: Good fucking point. I wasn't thinking because I was.
Speaker 6: Because fucking Hannah Montana, you're mister potato Hot. That's true,
Speaker 6: mister potatot Potato.
Speaker 3: Yes, that's right. It don't have to be the best
Speaker 3: of both worlds.
Speaker 2: It's one the world, the best of mister potato.
Speaker 3: I could be the adult Anna Montana who's not hiding
Speaker 3: a secret, who's just living openly. On the opposite of
Speaker 3: Hannama alter ego is a potato with a hat.
Speaker 8: I'm Spiderhoe Idaho. I got the best the world.
Speaker 10: Because life ain't always a dead I got the best
Speaker 10: of both worlds because I've got a hat on the Yes.
Speaker 2: I was like, you did not just say dudd and
Speaker 2: are not going to rhyme.
Speaker 3: It was would I would kids believe me. I was
Speaker 3: gonna eat something and play with something. In the end,
Speaker 3: I was gonna take you there.
Speaker 2: Hey, put some fucking respect on that name. That's how
Speaker 2: I got.
Speaker 3: Strong, writing strong, Thank you strong, my beginnings. Yes, one
Speaker 3: day when you're accepting an Oscar for your screenplay, Yes,
Speaker 3: you could be like my whole career guided. Number one,
Speaker 3: I hate of siblings. I would never have never do
Speaker 3: telling a story that's me.
Speaker 7: Number two my dad never I would thank my father
Speaker 7: for being away on the road where Nana and I
Speaker 7: had to write him emails where he would say something
Speaker 7: somewhat amusing back, but not really cover the fact.
Speaker 3: That I was alone, alone, so alone. I'll never be
Speaker 3: alone again because I have this. Why you want me
Speaker 3: to do your real voice? This isn't even I'm up
Speaker 3: here accepting this. I would also like to remind others
Speaker 3: in the audience that this is Suffice as an award.
Speaker 3: I appreciate it. But I did play John Proctor once
Speaker 3: and that was a little something like that.
Speaker 8: You can't.
Speaker 3: Like she okay, did she even really win?
Speaker 2: It's actually plastic. I brought it from all I wasn't.
Speaker 3: Uh Half half of the Beautiless Stickless podcast walked down
Speaker 3: to the Oscars stage tonight and what is the most
Speaker 3: shocking moment of the Academy Awards since the infamous slap.
Speaker 3: She accepted a Screamplip award and talked about.
Speaker 2: Her child childhood trauma.
Speaker 3: And she is.
Speaker 6: Wearing a shirt that's his mister Potato Hot on it
Speaker 6: and her father is outside dressed as a potato Leave
Speaker 6: me out of this.
Speaker 3: I'm on stage. I was just watching. The moment was crazy.
Speaker 2: We're confused by the statement he's making with the Potato
Speaker 2: Hot costume.
Speaker 3: Like and now we go live to the Hollywood Hills
Speaker 3: where her father is standing by for comment. Look, we're
Speaker 3: very proud of her for everything, even.
Speaker 1: Though yeah, you know what, especially this. You know, my
Speaker 1: kid has a gaty warned. You know why you ship
Speaker 1: don't understand art. That's the problem here.
Speaker 11: That's art and that whole fucking ceremonious bought and soul,
Speaker 11: and my kid came up here and broke the system.
Speaker 11: So horrah for Harley Quinn Smith, daughter of Kevin uh
Speaker 11: DoD Kevinsmith dot com.
Speaker 3: If you want to watch us on our podcast listenlets.
Speaker 8: Yeah again, and then you close the door.
Speaker 3: What the fuck was that? They turned back to the camera.
Speaker 3: A family of scammerasis this reporting back to even the studio.
Speaker 3: In the studio like shocking and sad, so shocking, so sad,
Speaker 3: A family unmoored.
Speaker 2: You open the door for a crack and throw out
Speaker 2: a mister Potato hot shirt.
Speaker 8: Hold hold on, we're.
Speaker 3: Hearing back from live on scene, Maria, what's going on?
Speaker 3: You missed it? He opened the door, crack, went to
Speaker 3: throw the shirt out, hit his knuckles on the door frame,
Speaker 3: said oh funk a few more times, then through a
Speaker 3: blood his shirt out us. I saw where he slammed
Speaker 3: the doors. He scraped the skin, knuckle, the knuckle out
Speaker 3: of skin, and.
Speaker 2: His phone is now exposed.
Speaker 3: It's I think if we wait here for a few
Speaker 3: more minutes, he's going to be coming out to go
Speaker 3: to the emergency. I'm pretty sure I'm.
Speaker 2: Right, and I hear an ambulance approaching.
Speaker 3: I'll throw it back to you, Okay, thank you. We'll
Speaker 3: be ready to go back if anything further develops. Shocking incident.
Speaker 3: What we're back.
Speaker 6: Knuckles and he's now running out and blood is gushing
Speaker 6: out of his knuckles once.
Speaker 3: The all words spoke spokesperson of gen X now now sat.
Speaker 2: With minor injuries, wearing up potato hot.
Speaker 3: You or someone you love is acting this.
Speaker 2: Way, Please please, we beg you don't let you.
Speaker 3: Please take them home, Sit them on the couch, tell
Speaker 3: them the story about somebody eating something and playing with something.
Speaker 3: The end. That's all I can handle.
Speaker 2: It's really all all they can handle it.
Speaker 3: Look, you permission to storm the Oscar stage and take
Speaker 3: what you were saying. You know what, Thanks, I got
Speaker 3: backed that place.
Speaker 2: I've been waiting for you to say that.
Speaker 3: My whole life, I've been waiting to say it took
Speaker 3: to this moment. You know what, It's weird my whole life.
Speaker 3: I knew I was gonna say it when I was
Speaker 3: a child, when I was good. I was like, one day,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna say this, And I don't know why.
Speaker 2: One time you tried to tell me that you could
Speaker 2: see the future.
Speaker 3: You doubt me. Yep, you should. Nobody could prognosticate. But
Speaker 3: there have been weird happens to it is which, when
Speaker 3: lined up one could make mean something more.
Speaker 2: I see, well, yeah, for sure, for sure.
Speaker 3: Believe in that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that brings us back to hall.
Speaker 3: So very witchy. Kids go out and fucking eat your
Speaker 3: Halloween candy or eat someone else's Halloween candy. Make sure
Speaker 3: make sure it's begin Halloween is a time for dads
Speaker 3: and daughters, and so that's that's how I should have
Speaker 3: started the episode. Halloween is the time for Yeah, you
Speaker 3: take the kid out or treating, and then the kids like,
Speaker 3: leave my brother home. I hate him. That would have
Speaker 3: been me. I was like, you leave Virginia home. It's
Speaker 3: just me and Donald going trigger treat.
Speaker 2: I would have killed it.
Speaker 3: Going back to that point, I'm going to close that point.
Speaker 3: I think I can only handle people one at a time.
Speaker 3: I was very like that with my mom. I was like,
Speaker 3: like everyone stay away. It's I'm like, I'm like, fucking Bertie.
Speaker 3: That's why I got a lot of like sympathy for Bertie.
Speaker 3: Where Bertie like gets in between me and Walkie and
Speaker 3: she's like no, no me, yeah, oh my god, no me.
Speaker 3: Me and Bertie have a lot in common.
Speaker 2: She's right here wearing her Halloween pajamas.
Speaker 3: Same thing. So am I look at me? There it
Speaker 3: is kids, ok, And there's your beardless nicolos for Halloween. Halloween,
Speaker 3: the first Danuel Halloween.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, the literally wow, happy freaking do you
Speaker 2: know my favorite horror movie?
Speaker 3: Your favorite horror movie? Silence of Lambs. Wow, I've been
Speaker 3: paying attention. Oh my god, the fucking camera went like, way,
Speaker 3: of course, what is there?
Speaker 5: It is?
Speaker 3: Kids. If you want to see beardless stickless me, go
Speaker 3: to that Kevin Smith dot club, that Kevinsmith club dot
Speaker 3: com and uh dot club and join up. Man, you
Speaker 3: can actually watch the fucking show.
Speaker 2: You can see us be this crazy or just.
Speaker 3: Keep sticking it in your ears. Siate, y'all listen. Yeah
Speaker 3: when I read people who are there, yeah, I'll tend
Speaker 3: you what eleven just signed up. I love when people
Speaker 3: talk about the show and they invariably there's always a
Speaker 3: review that's like it reminds me of old smartcast.
Speaker 2: I see a lot of Rose.
Speaker 3: I like that because that essentially, that's a code for
Speaker 3: like Kevin's having a good time. You having a good time.
Speaker 3: That's having a good time. We make having a good ten.
Speaker 3: We makey because she got no siblings. I didn't have
Speaker 3: them because I wouldn't know what to do. I was like, well,
Speaker 3: you got to get out. We're doing a podcast together.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, can you imagine that'd be so awkward?
Speaker 3: I know, I.
Speaker 2: Look, I'd be like, get out, dad loves me more.
Speaker 3: He totally would be like that one cat He's like.
Speaker 2: I'd probably be a bad.
Speaker 3: And your brother would be like, boom, whoa, whoa horribly.
Speaker 3: Let me be on the Paul Kyles please.
Speaker 2: As more.
Speaker 3: Just give me my shop moment. That's that's Halloween move, Bob.
Speaker 3: Have a special spooky Halloween kids for beardless. I'm Kevin
Speaker 3: Smith Smith the Beardless Halloween. This has been a podcast production,
Speaker 3: some podcast podcast using our mouths on you since two
Speaker 3: thousand and seven. Hey kids, did you like what you
Speaker 3: just heard? Well, guess what. We've got tons more, man
Speaker 3: thousands of hours of podcasts waiting for you at that
Speaker 3: Kevinsmith club dot com. Go sign up now