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“When you were born you cried & the world rejoiced. When you live a life with purpose at the end the world will cry & you can rejoice!

Show Notes

Speaker 0 (0s): <inaudible> of my friends. 

Speaker 1 (22s): Terry can I tell you a good morning? And I hope you're having a great day. 

Speaker 2 (27s): I am George. Thank you. I appreciate you getting up at this hour in the morning to talk with us, 

Speaker 1 (32s): Man. For those of you that don't know, my friend Terry here is an amazing man. He is someone that I've read his story. And while I can tell everybody listening Terry story, Terry, I would like to turn it over to you and my friend. And can you tell us, I was hoping maybe you can start with something about a little something similar to the Monday motivational moment, and then tell us a little bit about yourself. 

Speaker 2 (59s): Sure. I, you know, it's funny cause I've, I've taken the Monday morning V a C for AMS. You can even say it it's a great alliteration, but you can't talk about the Monday morning. Motivational message was always, when I started, it was a, what was kind of a Story where people can read it and, and I've kind of gotten now into doing videos with people, you know, were, were kind of life lessons, animated things to stuff like that, because I think, you know, the visual part of it is, is so important to people. 

So I it's funny because years ago, I, I mean probably 25 years ago, there was a radio station in Santa Barbara, California when we lived out there and they had the Monday morning motivational message. And that's, that's really where I got that from and in that. So, so that's kinda kind of the message, you know, so you kind of got to go to my site, motivational and, and every Monday morning I'll have either a video or a story or something like that out there for ya. So a little bit about me I'm I was born and raised in Chicago. 

I'm the oldest of three boys. I'm six foot eight and I played college basketball at the Citadel. I've got a brother who's six foot seven that pitched for Notre Dame. And then I have another brother who's six foot six who was drafted by the Cleveland Cavaliers in 1983. And then my dad was six with five. So if you sat behind our family and church, when we were growing up, you weren't going to see a thing that was going on there. So athletics specifically basketball is an important part of my life growing up. 

And I attended college at the Citadel in Charleston, South Carolina, on a basketball scholarship, despite having three knee surgeries in high school. When I graduated from college, I moved home to find a job. This was old. So this was a log before the internet. I was in the first person in my family to graduate from college. And I was all, you know, set to make my Mark on the world with my newly obtained business administration degree. And I quickly realized, I didn't know a damn thing about business, you know, so I was fortunate to find that first job I worked in the corporate office of a Wendy's international, the hamburger chain in Dublin, Ohio and the marketing department. 

But I also ended up unfortunately, living with my parents for the next three and a half years is I helped my mother and my grandmother, or I helped my mother care for my grandmother and my father who were both dying of different forms of cancer. And then finally my wife and I had been married for 27 years. We have a daughter who's a graduate and the United States air force Academy, and as a Lieutenant in the, a newly formed space force. And that's pretty much a me in a nutshell, 

Speaker 1 (3m 43s): It's interesting. It's M in, in a way, it's the Story of all of us. It's the story of, you know, you live in your life and it's a story of taking chances and, and making the most out of what you can out of life. And is it fair to say Terry that along the way in your life, you've met with a little bit of a constraint, is that fair to say, 

Speaker 2 (4m 10s): So are you sending me off there at George? I I'd say that's a fair to say. 

Speaker 1 (4m 14s): Nice. Can you tell the people a little bit about maybe to define what you think a challenge is? And then maybe you, could you explain to some of the people that maybe the challenges that you have been through along the way? 

Speaker 2 (4m 27s): I, I think it's a challenge. I don't know if I can give you a good definition of a challenge that I can probably describe to you what, what I think a challenge is, but I mean, it's certainly something that, that you're faced with, at least in my circumstances, that, that you're not sure that you've got what it takes to, to deal with or, or to overcome. And that's certainly happened to me in, in early 2012, when I was diagnosed with a rare form of melanoma that presented on the bottom of my left foot. 

By the time the cancer was detected, it had metastasized to a lymph node in my groin. And because my cancer is so rare, you know, you, you learn more about this crap, then you, are you ever want to learn? You know what I mean? We all think of melanoma as a, you know, a mole or, you know, a dark spot on our skin. Well, and that's the vast majority. And then there's a second time that is similar to what I or not similar. It is what I have, which is melanoma that appears on the bottom of your feet or the palms of your hands. 

And then there's even a third type of melanoma that appears in the mucus membrane. So when your nose or your mouth or something like that, I didn't know any of that stuff. When I, when I first started and I didn't, I didn't really know anything about melanoma itself. And like I said, I'm old enough to remember that when we had acne, as kids, we were taken the dermatologist and put under a sunlamp, you know, that's how we treated. They didn't realize how bad that was for you. So anyways, so I, I got this rare form of, of, of melanoma for about 6,500 people in the United States are diagnosed with it every year. 

And so it was recommended that I be treated at the world renowned MD Anderson cancer center in Houston. I want you to know your audience to understand that the one I'm going to describe to you is what I experienced during my cancer journey. I realize that there are thousands and thousands of people out there who are suffering terribly with their diseases, whether those be mental or physical diseases. And I make no claims to have the market cornered on suffering. But one thing I've certainly learned during my cancer journey is that suffering is one of life's greatest teachers. 

So at MD Anderson, I had two surgeries to remove the lymph nodes, to remove the tumor and the lymph nodes in my groin. And then I had a skin graph to close the wound a on the bottom of my foot. And after I healed, I was put on a weekly injection of a drug called interferon to help keep the disease from coming back to my oncologist use to describe it as kicking the can down the road. Now, interferon for me was a horrible, nasty, debilitating drug. And I took those weekly interferon injections for four years and seven months before the medication became so toxic to my body that I ended up in the intensive care unit with a fever of a, a 108 degrees, which usually isn't compatible with being alive. 

But I was fortunately at a level one trauma center, and they were able to kind of stabilize me. So I was on this interferon, like I said, for, for, for years in seven months. And it gave me severe flu like symptoms. I mean, we've all had the flu. I imagine having the flu every week for almost five years, I lost 50 pounds during my therapy. I used to joke to my wife that I was pretty sure I was so skinny that I could go hang gliding on a Dorito, right. You know, laugh at this stuff because if you don't, it makes you cry. 

You know? So I was constantly nauseous, fatigued, and shield my ability to taste food diminished and my body continually age. And this misery went on over 1,660 days. And one thing I learned during all my pain and suffering is that you have two choices. You can succumb the debilitating discomfort and misery, or you can learn to embrace it and make it a stronger human being. And, and I chose the latter and, you know, I wish I could say that this was a feel good. 

Story, you know, that I had conquered my cancer, but unfortunately it is the, the, the melanoma that had plagued me since 2012 returned in 2017. And eventually my only treatment option was the amputation of most of my left foot, which occurred on January of 2018. And then it returned again in 2019 requiring two additional surgeries. And then in 2020 and undiagnosed tumor in my ankle fractured my tibia or my shinbone. 

And that led to the amputation on my leg, above the knee. And then further testing revealed that I have multiple tumors in my lungs, and I've been on a chemotherapy regimen. Most of them most recently in a clinical trial to try to address those tumors. But my oncologist is not exactly optimistic about my future longevity. 

Speaker 1 (9m 20s): Wow. It's hang gliding on a Dorito. 

Speaker 2 (9m 25s): Yeah. I was pretty sure it's a skinny enough. If I can do that, 

Speaker 1 (9m 29s): You know, it's, it always amazes me to talk to somebody who's been through things that would make a lot of people unable to get up in the morning, or it would make a lot of people take it out on other people they care about. And, you know, I have this theory about life and it's that when horrible things happened to us, you know, you, you don't get to choose in life. What happens to you, but you, and you will, don't get to choose the meaning of that event. 

And it seems to me that what the force of nature or God, or what, whatever divine beings people believe in is testing us. And its seems to me that when you go through any event like that, you went through, you know, you know, let me, let me try to say it this way. Some people say that people who were blind, that there were other senses make up for them, or if you lose a sense, your other senses become heightened. And it seems to me that when you go through tragedy, while part of you inside may die, something grows in that spot and something begins to grow that makes you better than you were. 

And when I talk to you, Terry when I listen to you and I hear these things that sound like these tragedies and they are tragedies, it seems to me that you have found something to grow in those spots to make your life better. What happens? Is there a strategy that you've you've you used to do that, or do you agree with that? Or how do you feel about that? 

Speaker 2 (10m 60s): I do agree with you. I mean, I look back on my life when I was a little kid, I was definitely afraid of doctors. I mean, it was when my mom was taking me to the pediatrician to have a, a vaccine or something like that. And I knew that that was coming, you know, this was long before a key fobs were available on cars and stuff like that. I have to wait until my mom got out of the car and then I'd lock all the doors from the inside, you know? And so you'd have to go get the pediatrician and they'd have to, you know, play this cat and mouse game until they finally, they extracted me from the car. 

I mean, that's how they definitely afraid I was with doctors. And then here I am presented with, you know, all of this, all of these surgeries and, and you know, these amputations and I, I joke with my, with my orthopedic doctor, I said, you know, you're piecemeal and me to hell in one body part of the time, you know, here's a foot, here's a leg. Here's kind of, you know, so I, I, I, I do understand where you're from. And, and I guess 

Speaker 3 (11m 54s): For me, from my perspective, you know, you're right, you kind of got two choices. You like, you know, Oh, I got this, Whoa is me, you know, life sucks. You know, God did this to me and all that kind of stuff. I never blamed God. I never blamed my circumstances. I never super good morning, young lady, how are you? 

Speaker 1 (12m 16s): Yeah. You can get to my, and it's about being in the car. Oh, she's trying to, she might, she might be locking herself in there with today. 

Speaker 3 (12m 23s): Yeah. I won't say these things so that she gets any of that and stuff like that. But, but yeah, I mean, I, I've always been very religious, spiritual, you know, growing up, God's been important to me. I probably spend an hour a day praying. I'm not so much for me, but for other people, because I've really connected with a lot of people who are in dire circumstances, you know, he's kind of look at it and say, gee, Yeah my life sucks. Well, you don't have to look too far to find somebody who's life sucks a whole lot worse than yours, but I guess I, you know, probably to answer your question, I have a posted note on my desk and I know I'm looking at it right now and it has three sentences on it. 

And here are the sentences. And, and I use this every day to get me stronger, to get me more motivated. And the first one is you need to control your mind, or it will control you. The second one is you need to embrace your pain and suffering and use it to make you a stronger and more determined individual. And the third one is, as long as you don't quit, you can never be defeated. And, and I found a way to take all this pain to take all of this misery and to turn it inside and use it as motivation, as fuel as energy, whenever you want to say, to keep going. 

And so when people ask them, well, how do you do that? I don't know. I just, I just did. I refuse to be a victim to this malignancy, you know? And so I was like, you know what, I'm going to turn this crap inside. I'm going to burn it as fuel. And it's going to make me stronger and tougher. 

Speaker 1 (14m 4s): Yeah. It's, it's, it's really something. And I really think that that is The, you know, one of my favorite authors is this guy, Joseph Campbell and Joseph Campbell is a gentleman that speaks a lot about mythology and anybody who's ever seen the star Wars movie, you know, Joseph Campbell, because that is the hero's journey. That is the journey of, of a man comes into the world. He is introduced to the ordinary world. He received the call to adventure, and then he's reluctant to the call. 

He refuses the call. He meets a mentor, and then he crosses the threshold into light. And I think that that's what the world life and God is trying to teach each. And every one of us was like, listen, you're going to play all of these roles. You're going to be the hero. You're going to be the mentor and your life is destined for greatness. If you just allow it to happen to you and then CS the bull by the horns and make the best of that situation. It also reminds me of another one of my favorite characters, who you may have a cool story about doc holiday. 

Speaker 2 (15m 11s): Do what you mean. 

Speaker 1 (15m 13s): Would you be so kind as to share that story with these beautiful people that are? 

Speaker 2 (15m 17s): Yeah, absolutely. So I'm always been a huge fan of westerns, you know, growing up, my mom and dad used to let me stay up and watch, you know, Gunsmoke or Maverick, or my favorite was wild, wild West, you know, which is your West love that love, love staying up late, watching that And in 1993, the movie tombstone came out and it starred a Kurt Russell as wider and Val Kilmer as Jon doc holiday. And these two men were best of friends, but could not have been more diverse in their backgrounds. 

I mean, Y what was a law man? And is it in his light and dark? Why are they called them doc? Cause he was a dentist by trade, but he was pretty much a <inaudible> on a cart shark. And, and that's what he would be Watts. So at the very end of the movie, tombstone, DOK is dying and a Sanitarium in Glenwood Springs, Colorado, and, and doc holiday. And let me back up a little bit, doc holiday and Wyatt, or work to living, breathing human beings that walked on the face of the earth. They are not made up characters for the moving. 

So fast forward to the, to the end of the movie, DOK is dying and the Sanitarium at Glenwood Springs, Colorado and, and doc holiday did die in that Santa term. And he's buried in the Glenwood Springs, Colorado cemetery. And I, one of my bucket list things is to go out there and see his grave. I don't know why we want to do that, but what I do wanna do that. So at, at the end of this movie, why it is destitute, he has no money. He has no job. He has no prospects for a job. So he comes every day to visit doc and the two men play cards to pass the time. 

And in this scene, they're talking about what they want out of life. And doc says, you know, I was in love with my cousin when I was younger and she joined a convent over the affair and she's all that I ever wanted. And he looks at At wine and he says, what about you? What, what do you want and why it says, I just want to lead a normal life. And doc looks at him and says, there is no normal. There's just life and get on with living in yours. And I think that was one of the greatest lines from a movie that I ever, that I ever heard, you know what I liked to not have cancer? 

Oh my God, you have no idea how much I would get for that. But you know what? These are the cards that I've been dealt. And because of that, I've got a plan. I don't have a choice to say, I can opt out of this. And I guess I do, but that's never been who I am. I've never quit anything in my life. And I, and I'm, I'm going through a clinical trial now. 

Speaker 3 (17m 50s): It's very, it's a very hard trial at my body. I do. I take a drug for every day, for a week and I shake and I throw up and I do all kinds of things that I can remember. A nurse came in one day and she said, Terry, nobody would blame you if you quit this drug. And I looked at it and I said, you know, I may, they may take me off the study or I may die on it, but I'm not quitting. I've never quit anything in my life. So, you know, I, I kinda, I like that doc holiday and net Wyatt Earp exchange 'cause to me, you know, we're all living our lives. 

And it's like you said, it's, it depends on how well do you want to live if you just want to. I mean, we all know people that when I call, they were dead. They go through life every day, they are doing the same thing. They are not growing. They're not mature in. And you know, they're really dead. They just have a fallen over yet. And those people bug me more than anything. You know, I just kind of like, it's like, just to get away from me. I, I don't, I don't want you in my life. I don't want you to part of my life, your negative energy. That just sucks the life out of me. So, you know, from my perspective, it's like, let's go, let's do this stuff. 

And if we go down, try and you know, what I can live with that death has never scared me is a matter of fact, I'm almost excited about it and get God. This is probably going to have every psychiatrist and the United States went after me after this. But it almost excites me to see what's on the other side of this, you know, because I don't think that this is it. I just in my heart. I mean, when you look at this country and I've lived all over the United States, it's too beautiful. It's too great. It's too grandiose to say that, Oh, this just happened. 

No, I don't think so. I, you know, there was something else bigger than us involved in this, and I kind of liked to see what that bigger thing is to me. It's God. And I want to see what's on the other side because I just don't think, well, one day I'm going to drop dead and that is going to be the end of it. 

Speaker 1 (19m 44s): Yeah. I agree that which was never born, can never die. And it seems to me, it's almost like a metamorphosis, the same way, a Caterpillar that becomes a butterfly. So do you and I, and move on to a more beautiful becoming of ourselves. And, you know, I, I really think that if you're just like, I like to listen to the classical music and regular music, and I would like to read a lot in, in for example, when I read Joseph Campbell, like, you know, I have all of these books in my book shelf and, and all of these people, like they may no longer be with us. 

They didn't die because I can read them. And when I read them or I listened to them, it's like, I get to become part of them or inspired by them and what you're doing right now and hear like, you can, you may move on from this part of the earth, as we know it, but you will never die. Because from now on, you live within me. Like every time I tell people about adventure or, or overcoming situations. And one, when I talk to my daughter whom you just saw it, like she knows your name, she knows the stuff you've been through. 

Even though I haven't met you on giving you a hug or shook your hand, like you, you live right here in my heart and you, you can't do as long as I'm alive, you are alive. As long as my daughters live, you are alive. And I think that is another beautiful part of life is that we're only here. We are only here for a tiny little bit. And it's, it's so important for us to share our stories two, to, to fail as much as we can scale, we can learn as much as we can. So when we move forward and we have that experience, and another point that I wanted to bring up is, you know, you, you have this, you, you have had some traumatic effects when you have quote unquote cancer, but the cancer you have is No where as debilitating as the cancer known as a negative attitude. 

And I, I don't understand, like, like, and I think those things cross over it. If you, if you look at the treatment that you went through, like there's treatments for that, but there's almost nothing worse than someone who has this negative attitude, because that's like themselves giving themselves cancer. It's like cancer is the cancer of Can and people that have that attitude, whether it's learned helplessness, or maybe they've been in a situation in life where they have been taught that they can't move forward. 

Or I always think of a dog on a chain, or have you guys ever, I'm a ups driver. So sometimes I'm walking around carrying packages and here it comes to this dog on a chain running full speed. And then you get to the end of this chain and smack, he stops in a while back. I was, there was this house that always had a big dog. He'd run to his chain and stop in one day, I was like, he ran, he was coming towards me and I go, he's on a chain, no big deal. But this time he wasn't on a chain, but sure enough, that dog got to the same spot you got to every day. And he just stopped. 

He no longer had the chain, but he stopped anyway. And I think it's a good metaphor for what we have in our life. The things we've been through, the situations we've been through, the people that have molded us have shaped us in a way where we get to a point where we just stop. And it's, it's similar to the people who have that cancer of, Oh, I can't make this happen or all. Can I tell you what happened to me or constantly feeling sorry for themselves? And I, I, I'm just thankful. 

And I'm inspired by hearing what you have to say, that it helps me. We want to help those people who have that attitude. And, you know, there was a, I think we have another thing in common in that when I was a little boy, my grandfather had a, a trucking company and he and his truck told me he was out on the Indian reservation. And I, I got to see all of the Indian reservation in California, this place called Paula. It's got a huge casino on it now. And there's, it's so different than when I was a young boy and running around and playing. 

And, and I remember meeting two girls from there when I was older and, and, you know, they, they were my age. So they had been through life on an Indian reservation with no money. And then the casino came in and that these girls started getting 10 grand a month. One of these girls became an actress. She bought some real estate, some property. She did really well for herself and her sister. She turned two a life of excess, or if that makes sense, because you had all this money now. 

And, you know, I, I remember talking to them and, and they were telling me a story about one of their uncles who had told the girls, you know, these casino and this money is going to do to us with the white man, never did to us. And they, you know, there was an interesting story to think about, but I believe you also have an interesting story. I think it's about the, the Blackfoot nation. Maybe you might want to share, and I'm hoping that you will share it with our audience, the North American Blackfoot Indians. 

Speaker 3 (24m 45s): Yeah. I, I, there's a, there's a saying that I, that I really enjoy that, that I heard years ago. And I wish to remember where I heard it, but it's always resident me resonated with me. And it was, it was, it was from the, the native American Blackfoot people in it. And it, and it went like this. It said, When, you were born, you cried. And the world rejoiced live your life in such a way so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice. And I think that is, you know, it's, it's, it's to quick little sentences, but if there's so much of a punch that, that that's, that is packed within that, you know, and I, and I look back I we were talking about quotes and stuff like that. 

They're, there's a quote from, from Mark Twain that, that I heard years ago that said, yeah, you know what? I loved English. And, and I, I was, I excelled in English. I don't know why, because I can barely talk these days. But I, I excelled in English when, when I was in high school and college and, and I loved to ride and I loved to read, and I, and I still do, but there's a quote from Twain. I thought was, was one of the greatest too. And it went like this. It said the two most important days of our lives are the day we were born. And the day we figure out why. 

And when I talk to groups, a lot of times I'll ask them, you know, do you have any idea why you, you know, why you're here? Why you were put on this earth, why did God put you here? And sometimes I'll even take that a step further, you know, with them and ask them, do you know, Y you were born at this time, you know, why weren't you born 5,000 years ago, or, you know, 50 for that 50,000 years in the future, there's a reason that we were all born. And to me, that reason that involves finding and living whatever our purpose is, I believe that we're all destined to live uncommon and extraordinary lives. 

And that has absolutely nothing to do with the kind of job we have, how much money we make, what kind of a house we live in, nothing like that. We're not all born with the same gifts and talents, but we all have the ability to become the best person that were capable of becoming. And this goes back to something you were saying a minute ago, but the problem is, is that most people take an unintentional approach to living. And by living that casual, so to speak life, their dreams, their goals, their aspirations, or whatever you want to call it, they become a casualty of that unplanned living. 

And during the eight years that I've been battling cancer almost nine years now, I've had plenty of time to think about my own death. And after I die, I can't imagine standing in the presence of our creator, whoever, or whatever you believe that entity to be, and being unable to account for the gifts and the talents that I was born with, and that I never used to make his or her world a better place. You know, I being a cop for a number of years. And certainly, you know, having met a lot of people with cancer, I've, I've seen a lot of people die and the experiences that I've had, or the people who die, what you and I would probably call it a peaceful deaths are those who utilize their time on this earth to find and live that purpose. 

And the other hand that people that we would probably describe as, you know, the ones that go kicking and screaming, they know they want another day or another year or whatever it is, those are the people that never did anything with their lives. They never saw the urgency of living there uncommon and extraordinary purpose. They never took the time to figure out who they were, why they were here and what they were supposed to do with their lives. You know what it's been said, that the richest real estate in any country, our cemeteries, because there are areas rich in businesses and never started books, never written relationships, never consumed and dreams never realize. 

And you know, the only way we can find our purpose is to search it out, to try things that make us uncomfortable. You know, what to fight against the status quo, to experience things that basically scare you and sometimes are just flat out embarrassing, or, you know, finding your why or your purpose is important because it's the reason that you were born. And the only way to discover, excuse me, to discover that reason is to be open to it and search for it with your heart. 

Speaker 1 (29m 5s): Wow. Chair. That was beautiful. That's so true. And it's, it really gives me pause for thought. You know, sometimes when I find myself feeling sorry for myself, or if I'm talking to someone else and I see that there may be hurting a little bit. I, I, I often think that right now, somewhere in this world, there is someone in the hospital begging for one more day, there is someone praying, like, please give my dad, please give my mom. Please allow my son or my daughter one more day. 

And there's so many of us that wake up are like, Oh, I can't do this today. Right? I can't do that. Or I can't believe this happened to me, but there's people right now begging God for one more day, give me one more. I'm going to change everything. You know? And if, if people can remember that, like when you start to get down and when you see somebody that's down, if you can just mentally remind yourself of life, listen, there's people that will be begging for one more of these days. And, and I, I sometimes it, it both inspires me and saddens me to know that people are, they, they rarely reach their potential. 

And that's sad because people can be so much more if you just believe in yourself than you can be that person or that thing that you want to be, you can accomplish that goal. If you can dream it, you can begin it. And it's, it's inspiring to know because I, I, I know that people can do it. And all it takes is seeing someone talk about difficult times or going through something in, and they can achieve all those things. And it just makes me want to get up and face life that every day and age, with a smile on my face and reach out to people and, and try to make their life better. 

Is something really positive about making everyone around you better? In fact, I would argue that may be the secret sauce in the hamburger of life is that if you can make everyone around you better than by default, you're going to make your life better. And people are going to want to be around you. People are going to want to come to you and reach out to you and talk to you. And it changes the way you see the world when you change the way you think. 

Right. I, I, I believe that thoughts are things. And if you can fundamentally change the way you think, then you can change the way you see the world and interact in it. I wanted to maybe shift gears a little bit and talk about thinking in inner dialogue, like all day long, we're walking around answering and asking questions that our own mind, who may not say it out loud. Sometimes I talked to myself a little bit, but you know, all day long, we have this inner dialog going on. And it seems to me that when we get in tough times, you hear people say, Oh, I heard this voice. 

Or I just thought this thing. And it's that inner dialogue that people are unconscious of. You can change that inner dialogue. And once you begin doing it, you'll change your life. And I was curious if you could talk a little bit about the thoughts you think, and maybe the inner dialog going on in your mind when you faced some of these situations that you spoke about earlier. 

Speaker 3 (32m 23s): Sure. That there's, you know, we, we just talked about, you know, what, we need to find a lot of our purpose and, and that's, that's great. Yes, we all should do that. But why, why don't, you know, there, there is an impediment, an obstacle that's preventing us from doing it. And, and that, that impediment, that obstacle that's us. It, it, it's totally up. 'cause we know that, you know, this is our brains are hardwired to avoid pain and discomfort and to seek pleasure. I mean, to our minds, to the status quo is comfortable and familiar, and it should just be left alone. 

Just leave me alone. Things are good right now. Just don't don't, don't try anything new because they don't do that. And you might fail. That's your brain. I mean, that's the part of that one sentence that I talked about where, you know, control your mind, or it will control you. Because if you, if you started listening to your mind, your mind knows your fears, it knows your vulnerabilities, and it's gonna play on those. If you start messing with the status quo, I always try to give an example. You know, we all know people that are stuck in, in dead end jobs and, and they should have been working somewhere else so years ago. 

But for some reason, they stay put and have always wondered. Why is that? And I would suggest is because every time that they decide to find new employment, their brain kicks in, it starts pointing out all the reasons they should stay. You know, Hey, you're making good money, or you're accustomed with your hands are in that space at the work's easy. You know what? You can go somewhere else. They might not get along with your coworker. That's your brain talking too. That's not the brand. You want to listen to whatever the reason to the brain in a new job presents all types of uncertainty and uncomfortableness. 

If you're in a job that you can't stand, and it would make sense for you to explore new opportunities, your brain will fight you on making that change. And I think that this next statement, I, I 

Speaker 2 (34m 13s): Mean, it's, I know there's a whole chapter of my book about 

Speaker 3 (34m 15s): It as the problem with most people is they think with their fears and their insecurities instead of using their minds. And we don't like to live in an uncomfortable state, but that's the only place where will growth can occur. Well, when I was, I was at a girls' high school basketball coach and in Houston for a while. And I used to constantly remind my players that they needed to be comfortable with being uncomfortable and as such I'd move players in and out of drills and practice that I knew caused them anxiety. 

I wanted them to be on the easy Cause, it's a practice. That's why your practice not because I was trying to get them to fail, but because I wanted them to realize that they can succeed. It's something that made them apprehensive. The only way that we can grow, the only way that we can push past those comfort zones is to do what we find unpleasant and undesirable. It's in those painful, difficult, ugly, sometimes embarrassing moments. The real growth can occur. And I'm going to date myself 

Speaker 2 (35m 15s): Here a little bit. Not that I already have it, but 

Speaker 3 (35m 18s): In 1976, the U S gold medal Olympics, Olympic swimmer by the name of Shirley Babish shot again. 

Speaker 2 (35m 26s): You know, every court I have ever heard was one of the greatest quotes I've ever heard in my life. You know, 

Speaker 3 (35m 29s): You know, she, she, but she did. You have a great quote. And I, and I still use it to this day. And this is what she said. She said, winners, think about what they want to happen. And losers think about what they don't want it to happen. Winners can override their brains, you know, and focused on the things that they want to occur. Losers focus on the negative aspect of competition. And they aren't able to see the positive qualities of pursuing a goal or a dream. Most people never get to where they want to be because they won't stop whining complaining about where they're at, if you want to lead an uncommon and extraordinary life. 

And I believe everybody should want that. The only way to make that happen is to embrace the uncomfortable and to do the things that you don't like, and you don't want to do to become successful or significant or whatever you want to say. Your purpose has to be bigger than your pain. And I try to put this in a, in a quick little, little store. If you were to go to a gym and pick up a 10 pound weight and do 10 arm curls, and you didn't find that movement difficult, then your muscles is never going to grow. 

However, if you go to that same gym, pick up that same 10 pound weight and do arm curls until you exhaust your muscle and you can't do another repetition, then you're stressing that muscle. And as a result, it will grow and get stronger. That same tactic is, is works with your mind. And it's, it's what I use every day. When I new, you know what? I got surgery today, or I got another treatment today, or whatever it is, if you stressed and push your mind by doing things that are uncomfortable, then it will grow. 

It will develop and you will become a stronger and tougher individual. 

Speaker 1 (37m 17s): Yeah. I mean, that's, that's beautifully put, and it sounds to me like I was a young as a young kid, I was a wrestler and my dad would always preach mental toughness. And he would always preach that. I think it was Henry Ford who said, well, do you believe he can or will be bullied? Can't either way your right. And so, you know what? I think a lot of that comes from sports and competition and you spoke about basketball. And there was a great story that you've probably heard about John wooden, the winningest coach of all time in basketball history. 

And he said that he would sit there at the young man down. When he, when he first started the team in there and the first day of practice, he would sit the men down and he would say, gentlemen, there's, here's the deal. Gentlemen, if you go out on that court and you give your all, I don't care about the score. I don't care about what happens at the end of the gate. If you go out there and you give your all, everything, you have to give your sole on that court, then you get to walk away the winner because you get more out of yourself than the other team did. 

And on the flip side, if you go out on that court and you'll kind of slacked off, or you weren't paying attention, or you didn't give 120%, then I don't care about the score either you're loser, because you made a conscious decision to go out there and not do what's best for you. You made a conscious decision to go out there and in Slack off. And that is the mindset of, of, of life. I think, you know, it just takes us back to giving everything you have for what you believe in and, and living life to the fullest and finding your purpose. 

And it's, it's a beautiful thing. And I, I, I just, I just want to say, thanks, Terry, for spending some time in, in, in, and talking to me and, and helping me out, what do you believe it or not? I've been reading a lot of the stuff on the, on the website, which I linked to below. And it's a beautiful, I mean, we can go there, everybody. Who's listening to this, please go to the link below. And just, if you just need a quick little hit of dopamine, you can read these awesome quotes that Terry's God. 

I have a friend name, Maurice had a really beautiful, let me just push all. You had a beautiful, you know, a new year's day post. And he says, I'm not taking anything with me into the new year that weighs me down. He says, if you owe me money, forget about it. If I have wronged you in the past, please accept my apology. If you've wronged me in the past, then I'm over it. I'm not bringing anything into this new year that was weighing me down. And it just reminds me of that same mindset we were talking about. What So. 

So can you tell us where are your book is available? And maybe some of the other sites we can go, and I'll also link to them in the, in the show notes, but can you tell us what we can find all your stuff at 

Speaker 2 (40m 12s): Sure. The easiest place to kind of find everything is back in 2019, I started this blog and you have to understand what an accomplishment that was for me, because I can barely turn on my cell phone. So, so to put a blog together was, you know, it, it was for pages. It took me for months, you know, I was like, I start something and I'm like, I don't know what that means. Now I got to go research it. And you're kind of like, okay, yeah, I get that. All right. Now what? I don't know what that means. I got to go research that literally mean my daughter could have probably done it in about 30 seconds. 

You know, it could be four months a put for pages to get, you know, I mean, it's this book really? I wrote this book between the time that I have my leg amputated in, in April of, of, of last year. At the time I started chemotherapy in June of this year or of last year. So it was a book that I wrote that I really believe was inspired by God. I really think God was like, yeah, you're going to write it, but just shut up and listen to what I'm going to tell you. I put this out. And so it's a everything you can, you, you want to know about me is available on motivational and you can link to the book the book's available on Amazon Barnes and noble, Apple I books and all that kind of stuff. 

It's called sustainable excellence. The 10 principles saluting your own common and extraordinary life. And also on there, there is a link to my account, my Facebook account on my LinkedIn account. So motivational will pretty much get you more Terry Tucker than you ever want it in your life. So 

Speaker 1 (41m 44s): Well, that's awesome. I am going to make some, I've already made breakfast as my daughter, but I got a pack your lunch and get this little girl off to school, but a Terry I got up, I hope we can talk again soon and maybe we can do it. You know, maybe we can check in a few times this year and I'm, if you have anything ever coming up, are you needed to get the word out, please reach out. And everybody listening to this, I, I, I hope that this interview did it justice, but I would truly recommend that everybody go and check out motivational and, and listen to Terry story. 

And I hope that a little piece of Terry can reside and everybody that's listening to this because I think it would be a better person. If you could take a little Terry Tucker and put them in your heart. 

Speaker 2 (42m 27s): Thank you, George. I really appreciate you having me on. And, and, and I really enjoyed talking with you, 

Speaker 1 (42m 32s): Me as well, and I'll will, I'll reach out to, you know, via all of the other channels later that week to touch base and stuff. But thank you so much for your time. Terry Aloha. If you've ever make it out, or your family thinks that the whole, while you, you got a place to stay, have a great rest of your day in Aloha. My friend, you too. Take care. Have a nice day. Thank you. Thank you, 

Speaker 0 (42m 57s): Right. 

What is TrueLife ?

Welcome to the TrueLife podcast. Take a deep breath because we are going to take a deep dive into the depths of the unconscious mind. Psychology, philosophy, psychedelic research and social engineering are but a few of the locations we will be investigating. Tactical empathy, purple dawn theory, beautiful beaches, & book reviews because some times you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right.