Jethro D. Jones: All right, Connor, welcome to a decade Never to be Forgotten.
I'm excited to have you here.
Thanks for taking the time.
And, uh, before we start, I think it'd be good to just kind of explain
a little bit about where this came from and, and what led to it.
in October 24, general conference, uh, elder Stevenson gave a talk
called Days Never to Be Forgotten.
as he was sharing that, uh, that message, I got this little prick in my heart that
said, you need to do something with this.
I was like, what does that mean, And, uh, you've, you've gotten your
own personal revelation before and.
And felt things tell you to do things.
And probably people who are listening have too.
And you don't always know what it means, but you know, when, when that
feeling comes, then you gotta act.
And so, so that's what I did.
And, um, what we're doing here is we're interviewing the same people
every year for the next 10 years to see how they've made this,
their decade never to be forgotten.
And I'm grateful for you coming on because, uh, we don't have
someone who is a recent college graduate or close to that.
uh.
Which is you who, uh, you're just finishing up at BYU.
And so, you've, you've been a center for a BYU football team and, uh, a
remarkable career, which is awesome.
now, uh, you're right now in the throes of preparing for the NFL.
So I wanna start by just talking about what brought you
to this point in your life?
Where, did you plan on this?
Was this part of the plan or did this just, happen?
Like, tell me about that.
Connor Pay: Yeah, I think, um.
My dad.
My dad played in the NFL.
Um, and so it, it is something that has kind of been a part of our family.
And so once I got into high school and got to the point where I was like,
okay, I'm getting college scholarships.
Like once, once you go to play division one football, your ultimate goal is to
at least have a chance, um, at the NFL.
And it's, it's obviously very difficult.
You know, it's, uh, you're in, you're in the 1% of the 1% if
you can, uh, make it to the NFL.
And so I, I feel really blessed that I'm in a position where I,
I get a chance to, and hopefully I can go and make the most of it.
But, um, yeah, it's, I mean, once, once I got to BYU and, uh, was a
backup my red shirt season, um, in 2020, then once I earned a starting
spot as a red shirt freshman.
Which was kind of considerably younger than some of the other players or
other starters in their careers.
You know, you typically, you don't get to start until your junior or senior
year, maybe your sophomore year.
And so to be a red shirt freshman starting, I was like, okay, I feel like,
you know, songs I keep playing well.
Like I, I could do something with this.
And so now here we are, four seasons later, you know, started somewhere
north of 45 to 50 games at this point.
And it, it kind of became a reality as I, as I played better and better
and started getting recruited by agents and stuff like that.
Were like, okay, like there my name is out there.
This could be a reality for me.
And so now here we are.
I'm in, uh, I'm in Atlanta, Georgia.
You know, it's staying in an Airbnb in the suburbs of Atlanta for.
eight weeks while I'm at a training facility down here,
getting prepared for Pro Day.
And it's, it's kind of surreal that now I've, you know, I, I
graduated from BYU in December.
Um, you know that I'm a college graduate now, and I'm, now, I'm,
I'm actually a professional athlete.
Like this is my occupation, this is, this is my job.
And so it is kind of surreal.
Jethro D. Jones: So, you know, there's, I, I've heard a lot of people talk
about, being an athlete is, a lot of it is, is mental and that it's probably
more mental than it is physical.
So I want to talk about that, but a lot of people don't talk about
spiritual part of it as well.
And one of the things we've seen with a lot of the recent college football bowl
games are, are guys finishing and praising Jesus after they finished and more of
that spirituality it, where it seemed like that was not So much of the focus before.
So can you talk about what brought you to this point and mentally?
And feel free to blur the lines on that.
And, you know, you don't have to like totally separate it, but what is,
what has that spiritual and mental process been like, getting to hear?
Because, you know, physically you've got a, a dad who played in the NFL,
so you know, you've got some genes, you've got the experience of that.
And so, talk about the mental and spiritual aspect of it.
Connor Pay: I think, uh, well, I think as I've gotten older, as I've grown closer
to the savior, those two things have kind of become one and the same a little bit.
I try to involve him in, in every aspect.
Uh, and so, but I, I guess maybe just, uh, a little background for maybe some
of the people who don't know, you know, what you were referencing when they said
how mentally challenging this can be.
It's, uh, I guess just one example is, you know, the, the turnaround
that it was coming to Atlanta.
Like, uh, my, my agent, I had told the agency before the bowl game.
I'm like, Hey, when, when the bowl game's over, I'm gonna sign with you
like, you're, you're who I'm going with.
Obviously, I couldn't actually physically sign with them, um,
or else I'd lose my eligibility.
So it had to be done after the bowl game.
Um, but I let 'em know.
And they're like, okay, you just focused on the bowl game.
We're gonna handle everything else behind the scenes.
And, and nowadays facilities, training facilities, uh, they
recruit you like agents do, which is, which is kind of interesting.
So this facility velocity that I'm out here in Georgia, which has been phenomenal
so far, they reached out to me almost a year ago, maybe a little more than
a year ago, and just starting to build the relationship and things like that.
And so you have multiple facilities reaching out and so your, sometimes your
agent has a facility they really want you to go to, and sometimes it's kinda like,
Hey, we, we have someones, we like, but we also want to hear where you want to go.
And, you know, this facility was, was one of my tops and I, and so I
said, here's my top three facilities I want to go to, blah, blah, blah.
And then, you know, after the bowl game, we get home and, uh.
That week we had a Zoom call with my agent in this facility on a Wednesday,
and they're like, we were going through dates of when my pro day was,
how the training would be structured.
And they're like, yeah, well, we want you to get here as quick as you can.
And I was like, okay.
And we, we worked it out like, we want you to start, you
know, can you leave tomorrow?
And she's like, yep, I guess I can.
And so I packed up and uh, you know, I packed up my car and I drove to Atlanta
the next day, you know, having no idea that that was gonna happen the day before.
And so that's, that could be a little bit mentally challenging how all of a
sudden now, just in a blink of an eye, I spent the night packing for eight
weeks and everything I need for training and I'm on the road and I'm leaving.
And that's, that's a little bit of like what the NFL lifestyle
is, you know, over the next uh uh.
Six or seven months of my life, it's gonna be a drop in an interviewing with a team.
If they wanna bring me out for a visit, bam, I get a phone call and I'm on
a plane that night or the next day.
And, you know, while that is exciting and it's really fun, it can be, it could
be a little bit challenging where like at any moment you're, you're all of a
sudden your, your life can totally change.
And once you actually get into the NFL, it will get even worse.
Where, you know, if you get cut from a team, you could
get, you can get fired any day.
Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm
Connor Pay: And if you do get fired, another team could pick you
up and say, Hey, you, we want you.
And if you clear your waivers, then bam, you're on a plane and
you're playing for a different team a day and a half later, you know?
And so it's a little, it's a little, it's taxing in, in that way,
Jethro D. Jones: Uh, or you could not get picked up for a while
Connor Pay: right.
Jethro D. Jones: you could be out there hanging out, waiting for someone to, to
pick you up when, when the deadline comes
Connor Pay: Totally.
You could be unemployed, no checks.
Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.
That's crazy.
Um, so, so talk more about what you've done to prepare to be ready
for this mentally and spiritually and, and how you got here and, and
what that actually looked like.
Like you've gotta be, gotta be prepared to say, okay, I can do this, I can leave.
At the drop of a hat, you've gotta do some prep work beforehand, and like have things
in order, have, have your life in order.
Talk a little bit about that.
I.
Connor Pay: Yeah, I think, no, there was definitely a lot of preparation.
Knowing that this is what my life was gonna be like.
You know, it's obviously having a dad who's done it was really helpful.
He gotta just give you some tips, be like, okay, this is,
this is what it's gonna be like.
And my dad played in the NFL for three seasons for three different teams.
He got cut out of the blue three different times, you know, and so he was, he
knows what that, uh, uh, lifestyle is like, and he is like, look, your life's
gonna be a little volatile for these next, uh, you know, six months or so.
And so I think I had a little bit of an advantage in terms of,
I kind of knew it was coming.
Um, and, uh, but no, you definitely have to be, get yourself into the head
space of being okay with that, where it's like, and I don't, I don't want
to use the word that, you know, your life is being upended, but it kind
of feels that way where it's like.
All of a sudden, before I even have time to think about it, I'm in this place
that, you know, I'm living in a place that I've, I've only visited before.
I've never stayed.
Um, my family's 2000 miles away, you know?
And, uh, it's, uh, it's a little weird, you know, it's a little weird.
And it can be, it can be a little lonely at first, but I think, um, one great
example when, when it, when the scriptures talk about the commandment we're given
to gather together often, you know, and, uh, you know, and, and those verses of
miah so that you can be numbered with the, with the people of the church.
I, I went to church just a few hours ago for the first time out here, and
that was one of the, one of those moments where I was like, uh, I kind
of felt like I was at home again.
You know?
And just, just sitting in a sacrament meeting, you know, preparing to take
the sacrament, going to elders quorum.
Obviously it was fun to meet the ward members.
'cause I kind of told I'm gonna be an honorary member of your ward for the
next , you know, eight weeks or whatever.
And, uh, you know, and obviously a lot of 'em recognized me from
football and stuff like that.
So it was fun, it was fun to chat with them.
But just, um, you know, that, that commandment kind of rang true
for me a little bit today where it's like, I was just thinking
about like, man, this is amazing.
No matter where I end up going, no matter what ends up happening, I'm always gonna
have a family and a support system, um, through the people of the church.
Right.
And then my, my brothers and sisters in Christ.
And you know, I think on my own personal faith journey, that's, that's what's
kept me in the boat, so to speak.
And, uh, I've, uh, I've been pretty public about some of the, the
faith challenges that I've had.
Uh.
BYU does this series called Deep Blue, where they kind of
dive deep into your stories.
I, I don't know if you were familiar or saw mine, but they, they
were able to do one with for me.
Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.
Connor Pay: Yeah.
And yeah, go ahead.
Jethro D. Jones: of you haven't always thought that church was the
place where you'd find that community and peace, you went to church
because was what we do as pays.
That's, that's why you would go.
Connor Pay: Yeah.
Jethro D. Jones: now like you made it a and, and I just wanna share like behind
the scenes, uh, you and I were texting about setting this up and you're like,
um, I get in Sunday's probably gonna be the only day I'm available to do it.
you gave yourself an hour after church got out, uh, to, to be able to do this.
but like that was a priority.
It wasn't like, Hey, let me, I'll skip church this week.
No, you were like planning on it.
And it wasn't a question, it was a, I already know what time church is.
That's already part of the plan.
That's already part of what I did to get ready to come out to
Atlanta was I found out what time church is and I'm ready to go.
so like that idea of going from We all go through faith journeys, right?
Going from a kid who's like, I'm not even interested to serving a
mission, playing at BYU, and then now you're like, this is, this is the
priority, and there's no question I, I know I'm gonna find my people here.
That's, that's pretty amazing, right?
Connor Pay: Yeah, no, it is, and it was not the way I
thought for a really long time.
You know, it was, uh, like, like you said, it was, I, I went because my
family went and kind of the, over the years as I thought more about it, the
kind of, the way I describe it, and I think I described it this way in that
video, I don't remember, but is that I was, I was physically active, but
I was spiritually inactive, you know?
And, uh, and that's how I spent most of my teenage years.
Um, and uh, and I think, uh, and I think that's a little bit, honestly,
uh, a little bit of a challenge with the, with the Utah culture.
Uh, a little bit too.
You know, I think there's a lot of, especially teenagers who are
physically active, they go to church every Sunday, but spiritually
they're completely inactive.
Um, and I think that comes with just like, oh, this is just
what everybody does, right?
Everybody around goes to church, blah, blah, blah.
You know, it's, uh, it's just what we do around here.
Um, but no, that, that community, and, you know, that, uh, the guy I referenced
in the video, that youth advisor Chip Taylor, he was, he was the one that
kind of got me, got me into it again, and I noticed some things with him.
And, um, and then now obviously getting in into the mission field and experiencing
all that for the first time and gaining a, a, a true testimony, a personal
testimony of the, not only the gospel of Jesus Christ as a whole, but also
the individual points of doctrine.
The church is founded upon.
That was, that's one thing that I, I, I did as a missionary is when, before this
new version of Preached by Gospel was released, or there's 40 now, but there
previously were 42 doctrinal points, um, in the missionary lessons where
it's like, look, the brethren broke down all the basic doctrines of the church,
and we believe in, they came up with 42 points and I took 42 days and I studied
and prayed and tried to gain a testimony of every single one individually.
And, and when I did that, I did that over a transfer in the, in the mission field.
I've, I, I, I was able to gain a testimony of all of them, and I haven't,
I haven't had to look back since.
'cause now I have something that I can, whenever I have questions or whenever
I don't understand something or I'm challenged by something or, or there's
something that's, uh, bothering me or I don't understand, I now have a backdrop.
A foundation I could go back to, um, in any of those moments, uh, in any
of those challenges and which, you know, one of those is right now, you
know, doing something that's, uh, you know, a little outside your comfort
zone, showing up in a random city with a bunch of guys I've never met
training to, to, you know, try to do something extremely difficult and, uh,
Jethro D. Jones: And, and you're all, you're all basically competing
against each other also, right?
Like, you're not, you're not there.
Like we're all gonna go do this together.
You're not a team like you were at BYU.
These are guys that you're gonna be
Connor Pay: yeah.
Jethro D. Jones: to head against.
Um, so, so that's, that's a reality.
Also, you, you mentioned something that I think is really powerful.
You said that you were physically active but not spiritually active.
And I wanna dive into that a little bit more because one of the things
that's so important is for each person.
To gain their own testimony have their own understanding of the
truthfulness the gospel of Jesus Christ.
And that doesn't seem important you're a teenager and you're just going
'cause your parents are making you.
I feel like every single year that becomes more and more important to me.
And so what would be your advice to yourself or to another kid,
uh, in their teenage years?
How do they gain their own testimony for themselves and why is that so important?
Connor Pay: I think, um, you know, the, the, uh.
The outline has been set pretty clearly on how you go and gain a, a testimony.
The, the most, the most repeated promise in all of the standard works
by a mile is ask, and you shall receive, you know, knock knocking.
It shall be open, done to you.
You know, if I remember, uh, uh, elder Holland, I remember him teaching this
where he said, that's, that's repeated more than any other scriptural promise.
All of the other ones combined, you know, and then, then that
promise is still repeated more.
And so I think it's safe to assume that God actually means that, you
know, a ask ask and you shall receive.
And I think that's, that's step number one is you gotta ask questions, right?
Like questions of yourself, you know, to discover what you
actually believe, and then go to correct sources for information.
Scriptures, standard works, words of the living prophets,
you know, the Gospel library.
You could read Gospel Library for the rest of your life and not go through
everything that's on there, you know, and it's, uh, um, and then there's, there's,
there's great historical sources too.
If, if, you know, there's things about the restoration or church
history you don't understand.
You know, the Joseph Smith Papers project was massive.
And, you know, I spent a lot of time reading that kind of stuff.
And so you have to gather information, but at the end of the
day, you have to take it to God.
And that's the only way you're gonna gain a testimony.
Um, you know, we always, I remember as a missionary where we are always told,
and my mission president always talked to us about how you, your job is to
convince your job is not to convert.
Your job is to convince somebody to try it for themselves.
That the Holy Ghost is the only.
Person capable of converting somebody to the gospel of Jesus Christ.
And that's, and I think that's what my advice would be, is to go and
study it out in your mind, like the, like the doctrine at covenants teach
us, then go ask God if it's right.
And uh, you know, there's a promise in that verse.
I think it's section 88, 84, I can't remember, but, uh,
Jethro D. Jones: okay.
We're nobody's citing us here.
Somebody will find it.
It's all good.
Connor Pay: Yeah.
Um, and, uh, and so then he says that, you know, he promises it'll
cause you bosom to burn within you.
And so I would say you have to, you have to take it to God.
You have to do something to put yourself in a position to have
experiences with the Holy Ghost, because that, that's what I wasn't doing.
You can only, you can only rely on what your parents are sharing with you or what
you hear other people say for so long.
That can all be helpful in creating the positive environment you need for
the Holy Ghost to touch your heart.
But until you act on an individual level and exercise your agency
to go and essentially challenge God and say, is this correct?
You're never gonna, you're never gonna have an understanding for yourself,
which is everyone's ultimate goal.
Right?
That was, that was the issue all the way from the pre-existence.
Jethro D. Jones: Yeah, and And you have to have that witness yourself,
your, parents having it is not gonna do you as good as you having it.
It'll, it'll provide some support, some foundation, but ultimately
when the hard things come, then it's, can't rely on that.
And so, like, I wanna, I wanna talk in that same vein, but a, a
little bit different, um, people looking on the outside, your life
successful, good season with football.
You started, you had an injury in there, but like, what, what has been
the challenge, the big challenges that you've gone through this year, whether
they're physical, spiritual, or mental.
What are, what are the things that you've gone through?
How have you overcome them and what has helped you through and persevere.
Connor Pay: Um.
I think, you know, the biggest one had to have been, uh, probably the injury.
Um, just because obviously football has been the biggest, uh, you know,
part of my life for the last, uh, uh, four and a half years or so.
I've dedicated most of my time to it.
Um, and, uh, I had never been injured before.
Um, and I, I had little things here and there, but nothing that had kept
me from playing and, you know, it was harder than I thought it was going to be.
'cause you know, I just tried to, I was like, you know what,
I'm gonna attack this head on.
Just immersed my, immersed myself in almost kind of a coaching
role to help, uh, Bruce Mitchell, my backup, get up to speed.
Who played phenomenal in those, those four games that I was out And, um, uh.
I tried to immerse myself in that and I was like, you know, the way I'm
gonna, that's, that's kind of how I, uh, it was, it's kind of the same idea
of in the mission field, I think, uh, the story of, uh, uh, Gordon b Hinkley
talking about when he was in the mission field and feeling sorry for himself
and wanted to go home, and he got a letter from his dad and all it said
was, forget yourself and go to work.
Like it was, I, I tried to do like, kind of that method, right?
Like, okay, I'm not gonna, I'm gonna attack my rehab, do everything the
trainers are saying and all that stuff.
It's like, but I'm gonna, I'm gonna immerse myself in other people, you know?
'cause at the end of the day, that's where I find the most joy and the most solace,
I think is when I'm helping others.
And so that's kind of what I tried to dive into.
But, but that didn't change how difficult it was.
It helped me get through it, but it didn't lessen the pain.
Um, not only the physical pain, but also when they, when they ran onto that field.
For that first drive of that game.
I think Arizona was the first game where I was injured when I ran out for
that first drive to start the game.
I remember standing on the sideline almo almost in tears.
'cause it was like, you know, it's been, it's been over four years since
I haven't been out there doing that.
You know, like since I hadn't jogged out there with the offense when they got out.
That was, that was harder for me than I had anticipated it being.
Um,
Jethro D. Jones: what made that so hard?
Because you're on the sideline when the defense is out.
Right?
And, and surely there was some time where you came off 'cause your helmet came
off or something, but what made this so different that you were like near tears?
Connor Pay: um,
I think there was a couple of reasons.
Uh, for one, I felt like I was letting my teammates down.
You know, you put in all this work all off season long and me as a, as a
captain of the team, you know, giving a lot of speeches and, and trying to
hype the guys up and talking about how I'm always gonna be there for 'em.
And it's like, you know, this is the first time in my career where out on
the field I couldn't be there for them.
And, and, uh, you know, just, uh, yeah.
I think just that feeling of letting the team down was, was really hard.
Jethro D. Jones: Okay.
Connor Pay: And then also, yeah, go ahead.
Yeah.
No, go ahead.
Jethro D. Jones: piece, but like, why do you feel like
you're letting the team down?
You couldn't control getting injured.
You didn't get injured from some.
Mistake you made, at least I don't think so,
Connor Pay: No.
Jethro D. Jones: caused that to happen, right?
It was an accident, and yet you still felt like you were letting people
down because you weren't there.
And, and the reason why I'm asking this deeper is because everybody feels that in
some way, shape, or form, you know, just wait till you have kids and then and then
you see your own weaknesses that manifest in them, and it just breaks your heart.
Talk about letting people down so you couldn't do anything about it.
You, you ha you couldn't be in there playing.
And so why do you think that felt like you were letting 'em down so much?
Tell me more about that.
Connor Pay: I think it's because in a way, especially as a leader,
I felt responsible for them.
Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm
Connor Pay: You know, I felt, I felt as a captain, I had a responsibility
for the performance of the entire team.
You know, that's what I was, that's what I was voted by my peers to do.
Is to, uh, is to lead the team.
And, and I, it was, it was a growth moment for me because I didn't know how to lead
the team in any other way, but by example.
And, and vocally obviously too, on the field as well.
But I could always, I could always be confident in what I was saying
as a leader, what I was challenging my teammates to do, because
they know they could just watch me and they'll watch me do it.
I'm not gonna ask 'em to do something that I'm not willing to do myself.
And then for the first time, it's like, I'm, I'm cha I'm yelling at
people and I'm challenging them and I'm on a scooter, you know?
And it just, it, it just, it felt, I had this like pit in my stomach
where it was like, man, you're at, you're getting on this guy for doing
something you can't even do right now.
And, and, and, and I know I shouldn't have been feeling that way.
'cause it's like, you know, I had over 40 starts.
I had, I.
I knew I had already earned the respect to my teammates,
like, and, and all that stuff.
And I, I don't, I think that was less the issue, but just more the
fact that for the first time I feel like I couldn't back it up.
You know?
I, I couldn't back up what I was saying or what I was challenging them to do.
Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.
Connor Pay: Um, which, which was hard.
Jethro D. Jones: yeah, to this point in your career, you'd never, never
had to not be able to back it up.
Right.
Connor Pay: Yeah.
I've never so much as missed a practice.
Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.
So for you to, to take some, some time off and heal, you were like diving into
supporting them, but you couldn't support them in the way that you knew how to do,
so you had to learn a new way to support
Connor Pay: Yeah.
Jethro D. Jones: And so, so how did that change things you came
back where you could support them?
Did you just forget about that and go back to now I can prove it again?
Or, or did that adjust anything?
Connor Pay: Um, yeah, I think I had to, I had to learn how
to lead a little differently.
Um, you know, and in terms of, uh, you know, like it's, uh, I, there's a
difference between leading on the field and leading off of it, you know, and
it's, uh, kind of more of the leadership role that a coach would normally take
on, you know, 'cause obviously they can't be out there, so, you know, you
have to motivate in a different way, you know, and, and, uh, I think that was
the, that was the biggest thing for me.
It was just kind of learning a few more of those leadership characteristics,
which, you know, at the end of the day was, it was a blessing, right?
'cause I then got to kind of expand my leadership horizons.
Uh, a little bit and, and, uh, you know, 'cause that's eventually, you know,
when I, uh, business is what I studied, that's what, that's what I want to go
do eventually in the business world.
I'm gonna be in some form of leadership position where I'm gonna have to be
able to motivate an employee or someone to do a job that I have never done
before or, or something like that.
Or I'm not physically doing at the moment, you know, but you, but it's
still your job as a leader, you know, to, to take care of that person.
And, and I think that's kind of what I had to learn, like,
okay, what are some new tactics?
And, and that, I think it created a new sense of me relying on my teammates.
Um, which is something that I felt like really did transfer
over to when I returned.
It's like, you know, I had to rely on guys like Braden K or Waylon,
Lapa, Caleb, et tn, the guys who had been in there and done it before,
who had been my teammates for years.
It's kinda like, you know, meeting with them a little more and be
like, okay, this is what we need.
And said, this is, this is what I need from you.
You're the leader out there right now where, 'cause it's always been me.
I've always been the one, you know, as, as the center, you're kind of a natural,
it's a natural leadership role anyways.
'cause you're making calls and everyone's waiting for you.
And so it's really easy to just take charge of everything out there.
And now we have a young center in there, you know, who's just,
who's just trying to do his job.
Right.
You know, that's, that's all he is worried about.
He can't worry about all, all four of the other guys.
And so, you know, and then when I came back it was like,
I, I brought that with me.
It's like now it's okay.
I, I'm relying on Waylon, you know, next to me in those games and, and time even.
And, uh.
Uh, Caleb, you know, like there was, and, and I could get super technical
into the football sense of how we did that, but you know, it was, it was a
lot more of us working con jointly, um, together as a unit versus me just barking
out commands and then us executing 'em, which, which still worked great for
us in the first half of the season.
We were playing really well, but I think, you know, we became really
unified as a group near the end, um, because of that too, in a lot of ways.
Jethro D. Jones: I, I think that's such a powerful statement.
Um, background is being a school principal, and so I would have
to go and do teacher evaluations on teachers teaching things
that I'd never taught before.
And my favorite was, uh, somebody doing a, uh, a Spanish teacher where I'd
have to go give feedback on teaching.
And I've never taught Spanish before.
I don't know how to do it.
I, I learned to.
Another language for my mission, but, um, but I didn't know Spanish.
And so how, what am I supposed to do?
How am I supposed to even give feedback to this person?
And yet that's part of my job is to be a support and help them.
and you really understand that, like you said, you can't just
be, you know, barking out orders.
have to give people an opportunity to see what they're doing and see
how they can impact and what, what they can bring to the table also.
And, and that just opens the door for, opportunity, revelation, uh,
the spirit to influence everything.
Like it just opens the door a ton for that.
Anything you want to add to that?
Connor Pay: Yeah, I think, uh, I think what I'm hearing is, you
know, great leaders in power, right?
And it's, uh, it's, uh, and, and you can, I think one of the marks of a
great leader is you can take something like an evaluation, which, you know,
can be intimidating for, you know, the employee, for someone else to have your
leader coming in, critiquing you, and you can turn that into a really empowering
experience for them by, I think helping them become or feel more personally
responsible for their performance.
And I think that's a little bit of what happened, at least in the
football sense with, with, with us.
And then I remember learning those lessons from my mission
president in the mission field.
And I think the savior is the ultimate example of that as
a leader and as a teacher.
You know, when you think about the way he taught.
Parables.
He, he empowered the people to figure and interpret things out on their own.
Um, very rarely did he just blurt out or tell you the answer.
And, uh, you know, and, and at the same time giving, you know, at times
harsh and, and scathing critiques of the Pharisees and the SOEs, but also
at the same time teaching them, right.
And, and, and maybe they weren't ready to receive it in a way, but everyone who was
around and listening was ready to receive it and, and interpret those teachings.
And, and he empowered the people.
And I think that's what made his, the response to him is, and the movement
that he started and, and his original church, I think that's what gave it
the strength to rise, is they had a great leader who was capable of
empowering the people who followed him.
And, you know, I think that's, uh.
At least that's what I think of when I think of the story of this year.
And as you were sharing your evaluation as a principal,
that's kind of what came to mind.
Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.
So there was something else you're gonna say about your injury.
Do you remember it or did you forget it?
Connor Pay: Hmm.
Um, it was, uh, it was about the challenges.
Right.
Jethro D. Jones: Uhhuh,
Connor Pay: Um,
let's see.
Do I remember what it was?
Yeah.
It was, um, not being able to be on the field anymore.
We might have to come back to it.
Jethro D. Jones: That's fine.
If, if you remember, just be like, I remember now
Connor Pay: Okay.
Okay.
Gotcha.
Jethro D. Jones: of thing.
It happens.
And, and the whole point here is for us to go where the conversation leads us and,
Connor Pay: Yep.
Jethro D. Jones: questions just for everybody who's listening, but we
don't have like a, bullet by bullet.
This is what we're going through.
Um, I want to talk about the, the idea of being, a D one athlete and
how much time, energy, and focus that takes how you stay faithful, and.
Uh, and stay close to the savior that's, when there's, there's
pressure on everybody, right?
No matter what you're doing.
How do you stay close to the savior when football, school, work, whatever can
be such a distraction from, from what the savior needs you personally to do.
Connor Pay: I think, I think it's honestly quite simple.
Um, in my opinion.
There's, uh, there's something that I would teach in the mission field.
I'm sure it's commonly used, but I call, I call it, uh, spiritual
CPR, you know, go to church.
Pray and read your scriptures.
I've never, I've never met anyone in my life who has lost their relationship
with the savior, who has consistently done on a daily basis those three things.
You know, it's almost always, you know, you the, it might, there might be some
blanket issue when we were helping to either, you know, help, uh, someone
who was first learning about the church to prepare for baptism or helping,
uh, members who's been inactive for a long time to come back to the church.
There might have been this glowing issue, but as we asked more questions
and got to know them better and got down to the crux of it, it all began
when they stopped reading their scriptures and stopped praying.
You know, that's, that's, uh, that's, that's where that path began.
And so for me, that's, that's what I, that's the approach I take.
I know that if I, if I am praying daily and I am reading my scriptures daily.
That I'm always gonna maintain my relationship with the savior and then if
I'm going to church weekly, but then also daily trying to live up to the covenants
I made this last Sunday, or the covenants rather I renewed this last Sunday.
You know, I think that's been, that's, and, and you know, I think
the gospel at its core is extremely simple and, and you can do a lot and
read a lot to over complicate it.
But when you really break it down to its five core elements, it's really
not, not, uh, not that complicated.
And so I think for me, that's what I've tried to do.
'cause anybody can do that in their busy schedule.
Like there, there were some days, especially when, when I was in, you know,
a heavy semester of school in season that, you know, I was getting home at 10
30 at night and I had to be up at seven o'clock the next morning for classes.
And it's like, you know what?
I found a way to just, okay, if, if five minutes is all I got for my
scripture study today, that's all I got.
Some days I have extra time and it's an hour and that's awesome.
Um, but I always made sure that I said my prayers and I read
something in the scriptures that day.
And, uh, because no matter how busy you think you are, you can
always find a way to do that.
Even if all you can get is that little verse of the day,
Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm
Connor Pay: you can set that on your phone in the Gospel library app, even
if all you do is get your notification once a day and you read that like
that, that sometimes that can be enough to sustain you for that day.
Um, but I think, you know, it's impossible to have a relationship with
someone you don't communicate with.
Jethro D. Jones: yeah.
Connor Pay: So you have to pray to talk to heavenly father.
And for me, the scriptures are how he speaks back to me.
Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm
Connor Pay: And so that's, that's how, uh.
I think that's how I've been able to maintain that relationship
the same way I would maintain any relationship here on Earth.
Jethro D. Jones: Yeah, You, um, talk a little bit more about that, about
maintaining relationships here on earth.
Connor Pay: Well, I think about what that means, like, okay, who are the
people I'm closest with on this planet?
My parents, my siblings, you know, I have a lot of friends, but I
have two or three that are like my real close friends, right?
I have my girlfriend.
It's like, okay, what, what makes us that close?
And it's the frequency of communication and the amount of
information they know about me.
That's, that's the only thing that separates them from everyone
else around me in the world.
They know more about me and they've spent more time with me.
That's, if you, if you really think about it, that's it.
Right?
And then obviously with parents and family, there's genetics
and all that stuff too.
I'm not disregarding that, but I'm just taking it kind of at
face value and it's like, okay, um, I feel like my relationship
with God isn't as good lately.
It's like, okay, well if I think about it like that, how much time
have I spent with him recently?
How much does he know about, you know, my life and what I'm going through right now?
I guess a better way to phrase that.
Obviously he knows how much have I told him?
Jethro D. Jones: Exactly.
Yep.
Connor Pay: know, and, uh, um, it's like, man, did I have, I said as much
of my prayers as I told my buddies when we got on to play Call of Duty tonight.
And we were, you know, just chatting, chatting about our lives over the headset
and what we were going through that week, you know, and challenges we're facing
what's going on with them at work or me at football or school or whatever.
It's like, have I told God those things?
Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm
Connor Pay: Oftentimes, oftentimes the answer is no.
You know?
And so that's kind of a, that's kind of my litmus test that I use a little bit.
Okay, okay.
Who, where, who are the people that I'm closest to?
Does have I told them or have I told God the same amount or
everything that I've told to them?
'cause then that's, that's 'cause that's how those close
relationships are developed.
And so that's, uh, I think there's a strong correlation with, uh, you know,
how relationships are built here.
I think in a lot of ways is the same way they're built up there just through avail.
Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.
Well, I, I like that the way you're talking about that, because I think about
my own prayers and I do not like tell God what's going on, and, and I haven't really
thought about telling God what's going on.
Like I would tell.
A, a friend, what's going on?
And there have been a few times where I've like had a real deep talk and like a
wrestle with God about things in prayer.
But those are few and far between.
But I'm, I'm now thinking like, what if I prayed like that every day?
What if I said like, here's what I did today here's, here's the
exciting things that happened and here's how I feel about it.
I mean, I do that with my wife pretty regularly, but I don't do that with God.
And so in your experience in doing that, um, like do you get, I don't
wanna say do you get, but do you feel like, like Don't take this wrong way.
I believe our prayers are heard so it's not that.
But I, I often feel like our, the, the heavens are silent when I want something
specific and they're not always like, I'm not like Joseph Smith where I can ask and
then I start dictating the revelation.
Like, doesn't happen with me.
It comes in much different ways for me.
So, um, so I haven't tried doing that on a regular basis and maybe that's
an area where I need to improve.
And to add there?
Connor Pay: Yeah, I think, I mean, obviously I think I feel the same, you
know, and it's, uh, you know, I can only count on maybe one hand the, those, those
very strong experiences that I've had with the Holy Ghost the rest of the time.
It's, uh, you know, um, I think, uh, the way the scripture's
described is, is still small voice.
That's, that's truly what it is.
It's not, it's not, you know, shaking you.
And, uh, um, but I, there are moments where it has and where I
definitely needed it, but that's, that's, uh, few and far between.
And it's, it's ironic that you say Joseph Smith because I hear people so many times
they draw that comparison where it's like, man, he just kept praying and we
got 130 something sections in the DNC.
And it's like, oh yeah, like, that's true, but you gotta remember he had a calling
and some keys we don't have, you know, and it's, uh, the, the roles are a little
different and if you really want to get into it, a lot of those revelations are
not what he was expecting and not probably exactly what he was hoping to hear.
Jethro D. Jones: yeah,
Connor Pay: and,
Jethro D. Jones: But if we think about our own stewardship, we could
probably fill a hundred and so sections about the things that we need
to be doing and paying attention to
Connor Pay: yeah.
Jethro D. Jones: and, and so he's do getting it for the whole church,
but we definitely are promised that we can get it for whole lives.
And I'm definitely here to testify that that is the case.
And anybody who's listened to my interview with my wife on this podcast, um, at
a decade never to be forgotten.com, there is definitely, um, we're in
the middle of that right now and we are, we're getting little inklings.
And, and that's it.
And this, this conversation right now, I didn't tell you this so
I'm gonna tell you it right now.
I, your name was one that came to me.
was like, there is no way I.
I am ever gonna get Connor Pay on my show.
There's just, it's just there.
It doesn't make any sense at all.
And I was listening to Two Point Conversion, which is a podcast
you do with Chase Roberts.
And, um, you said something on there, and I was in the gym and I was like,
I, I got this little impression.
You need to share this on social media and then you need to reach out to
Connor and, that's what you need to do.
And lemme tell you, man, like it was, it was like, you need
to just do it right this minute.
So I'm in the middle of a set and I finish my set and then I do it.
And, and then you got back to me and I was like, well that is amazing.
There's no reason why you would feel any need to reply
to me and yet, and yet you did.
And that's one of those things where, because I was pondering and open, I.
The spirit said something and, and then we were able to connect.
So those kinds of things happen often enough that, that you can either
say it's a fluke or you can ascribe it to, a miracle from God, which is
how I prefer to ascribe it myself.
Connor Pay: Agreed.
I think so much of, uh, um,
you know, so much of what happens around us is purely perspective.
Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm
Connor Pay: You gotta, you gotta make a choice, um, where you think
it came from because both make sense,
Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm
Connor Pay: right?
And I think, uh, um, no, but it's true.
But I do like what you said about, um, you know, where you, you can, you
can write your own DNC so to speak.
I think that's how it works with parents, you know, a husband
and wife for their family.
Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm
Connor Pay: You know, that's how it works for, uh, a bishop on behalf of
his ward, a relief society president on behalf of her relief society.
So we were always one, I think one of the key pieces of agency.
Um, is that we're all given jurisdiction over something,
Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm
Connor Pay: even if that only means you're given jurisdiction over yourself.
Right.
And, and you have the ability then to receive revelation on
behalf of that jurisdiction.
And, and for the vast majority of us, it's just us, right?
Like until, like, in my case, until I'm older, have a married, have a family,
you know, like it's just me right now.
And that's, that's who I have jurisdiction over.
And that's, that's who I have personal responsibility for, is myself.
Right?
And so I, I kinda love that that analogy you used of writing our own personal,
Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.
Connor Pay: DNC because it's, 'cause like I said earlier, it's the most
promised thing in the scriptures, the most repeated promise in the scriptures.
Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.
And, and so the other part of that is that you have to actually ask something.
Connor Pay: Yeah.
Jethro D. Jones: you can't just say, I need, I need, I need, you have to
say, I need, I need this, and I'm asking you to help me achieve this.
And, and, and that's what I think is so powerful is that, know, it's
not just, it's not, it's gotta be something that you're looking for.
You, the doctor in covenants came from Joseph asking specific questions and
wanting guidance on specific things.
That's a pattern for us to ask for guidance and, and
direction on specific things.
And so, as, as you are making decisions, how do you bring that in to your life?
There are some things where you're like, know, if I want to get ready
to be in the NFL, I gotta go.
some training and then go to a pro day, but like how do you decide which
one of these camps to go to and how do you make those kind of decisions
that may be big or they may be small.
Connor Pay: I try.
I try my very best and I'm not perfect at it.
Um, to, to just follow the instructions that were given in
the DNC to study it down your mind and then ask me if it'd be right
Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm
Connor Pay: where it's like, at least in my case, in the athletics world,
there's thousands and thousands of papers of research, of all kinds of stuff on
how, how, at least for me, how to train my body the best for upcoming pro day.
And it's like I, I could objectively look at each different facility I
wanted to go to, um, and be like, okay, here's pros and cons here.
Pros and cons here, blah, blah, blah.
But then it's like, okay, now that I've done all that, like I, I've done
the study it out in my mind part.
That's when now I, I took it to my knees.
I said, heavenly Father, this is what I found.
Um, you know, and then it's like, this is, this is what I'm feeling.
I feel like this, this place in Atlanta, um, you know, is, is the
one I feel like this is the one that would help me progress the best.
And it's like, if, if you please let me know in, in some way somehow that,
uh, you agree with that, and or if I'm, if I'm on the wrong track, please
find a way to or let me know that too.
You know?
And it's, uh, for me, that answer came when I presented my
top three options to my agent.
And they were like, we've worked with Velocity in Georgia before.
We've had great results there.
We think it should be velocity.
And for me that was kinda like a confirmation, like, okay, velocity
was what I was feeling, you know?
And then, and then, uh, now to have, uh, in this case, my agent
kind of be, um, in, in my mind kind of the, the, the confirmer, right?
The, the messenger that, okay.
I, I do think I'm on the right track here and you know, that I've, I've kind
of had a good feeling about it inside.
Um, ever since then.
And so that's kinda what I tried to do.
And, and sometimes it's not as cut and dry as this was.
'cause you know, I'm able, I'm able to categorize things
in this form of training.
Like I said, it was very easy to be very objective with all this stuff.
But then there's, it gets, I think it gets a little more interesting
now when you have to choose between good and good, right?
It's, I think it's very easy to choose between good and bad, but how do you
choose between good and good, right?
Or, or, uh, or good and maybe a little bit better, but you just can't quite tell
that it's a little bit better, you know?
And it's, I think that oftentimes is more of the challenge.
Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.
So how do you manage that?
Connor Pay: I think that one takes a little more work on, on your
part and a little more trust,
Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.
Connor Pay: um, where it's like, okay, there might, there might be something.
'cause it's like that the lines get thin.
Between good and good where it's like you may feel strongly about
something just 'cause of your own personal opinion, and God may say,
Nope, we're going the other way.
And you have to be, I think for me, I have to go into those prayers
being willing to act regardless of the answer that I receive.
Or it's like if I go in just secretly hoping like, oh my gosh, I really hope
it's this, I really hope it's this.
And then if like, if it's not this, I'm kind of gonna be deflated and
ugh man, I don't even know if I want to do it anymore, then why?
Why would God gimme an answer then if he knows I'm not gonna do anything with
the answer that he's gonna give me?
Right.
So I think having a humility and a willingness to where you, you really just,
you get to the point where it's like, look, I've, I've, I've done everything
I can to try to come to a decision.
I've done my part.
I need your help on this.
Like, help me figure this out and I will.
You know, the kind of the sense of not my will, but thine be done type
of a thing, type of a mindset, um, where it's like, just, just tell me
what I need to do and I will do it.
I think that's when that's when answers really come.
I think that's when, you know, when you hear the, the phrase regarding prayer,
the broken heart and the contrary spirit, you know, and, uh, willing to act.
I think, uh, that's, that's when we really can receive answers to those,
maybe those questions of good and good.
And I think I'd maybe put like the facilities and, uh, that I was choosing
from in a good and good category.
'cause they were all good.
They, they had all trained tons of professional athletes before, had
really good reputations and it was kind of having to find the fine lines.
And for whatever reason, I felt, uh, I just had a feeling, a little
inkling that I felt like this is the place I needed to go and.
Eventually got that confirmation and now after being here for a
week and a half, so far it's been nothing but a great experience.
Jethro D. Jones: Yeah, and, and I think that's so illustrative of.
What of the process that you need to go through.
Like you need to do your own work, you need to figure things out on your own,
and then you need to take it to the Lord.
And then you need to be willing to do what he directs you to do.
And, a lot of times, like you're, you're gonna go to Pro Day and the draft,
and it, it could be that you are an undrafted free agent or you could be
picked high or anywhere in between.
And so you have to be okay with whatever the result is when that comes.
And when you work hard for something and you, and you put all this effort in,
and then it doesn't come to fruition.
Um, that's, that's tough.
How do you foresee yourself dealing with that, if that were to happen?
Like what, how are you gonna stay strong and still trusting God?
Connor Pay: Um, I feel like that's a lot easier to handle when I know that
I've done everything that I can do.
Jethro D. Jones: Hmm.
So good.
Connor Pay: Um, that's, uh, when it's, I, I think, uh, you could take, uh,
this, uh, football season for example.
You know, we really, we really felt like we were the best team in the Big 12 and
we should have been in that championship game and we could have won it and
played in the college football playoff.
But, um, you know, this is this, we, we worked so hard in this off season and
during the season that, uh, you know, when we found out that we didn't get it,
as much as that stung and as much as that sucked, we could all look each other in
the eyes and be like, look, we had some things that didn't go our way, but we,
we poured our hearts out on that field.
We did everything we possibly could.
And at that point it's kinda like, you know what?
It's, uh, it is what it is.
Life, life goes on.
And thankfully we got another chance to go, to go and play in a, in a
Great Bowl game against a great team.
And I think because of that mindset, we were able to go and perform well.
Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.
Connor Pay: Um, and uh, you know, but I think that's, I think that
handling this, the potential failure that's in front of me is how I
handle, that's gonna be determined by what I do between now and then.
Or if I do everything in my power
to make an NFL team and I get cut, so be it.
You know?
I know I did.
I maxed out my potential.
I maxed it out.
If I just find different ways to get everything out of myself that I can,
I have nothing to be ashamed of or to be mad, I, I'll obviously, I'll be sad
about it and I'll be upset, you know?
'cause obviously it's a dream that I've always wanted, but at the same time,
if I know that I've given everything
at that point, you know, there's, there's nothing you can do.
And so I think, uh, I think that's why I can, uh, my mind can rest easy on it
and I can go in stress free because I know that, I mean, I'm only a week into
this eight week training process, right?
But I've, so far, I haven't wasted a second, right?
And so it's, uh, I know that I'm doing everything that I
need to do to be prepared.
And I think that kind of, uh, kind of helps you move forward because
sometimes you can, you can work so hard and work harder than everybody else,
and you still don't get what you want.
And that's just how the world works.
Sometimes it just wasn't meant to be right.
And that doesn't, that doesn't mean that you're, uh, that you're not,
you're not worth anything or, or that, uh, you know, there's, you, you must
have made some mistakes along the road.
Sometimes things just don't happen, right?
Because there's, there's a hundred other things happening around you
that you have no control over and God gave them agency to, right?
And it's, uh, I think, uh, you know, that's kinda where my head goes.
Jethro D. Jones: Well, I, I really appreciate that.
And for those who haven't seen your, your deep blue episode where you talk about.
hard you prayed for your grandpa to survive, uh, cancer and,
um, and then it didn't happen.
That's a good, parallel to this also.
And, you know, what, what I'm struck by is, is I'm hearing echoes of,
of similar sentiments, that it's, that God has a plan and it's okay
trust in God's plan and don't know it, and you, and that's okay too.
And you can still, you can still have joy and happiness, even not
understanding the full picture.
and, and that's what I'm, I'm hearing from you today and from, uh, knowing,
uh, a little bit about your past as well.
Um, I.
So
one of the other things that I think is, well, you touched on, on this,
remembering our covenants and, um, this was a few minutes ago, but, but
it peaked something in, in me that I think is really, uh, I'm not, I'm not
sure where exactly I'm at with it still.
So I, I go to sacrament meeting and we sing these songs,
uh, before the sacrament.
Then we take the sacrament and I feel such peace and I feel such, um, forgiveness
and I feel like, okay, I can do anything.
then the world hits and it's almost like I forget and, uh, and life gets
hard and then I do something stupid.
And I'm not talking like major sins, but it, it's exactly what you're
talking about where when you know you've put everything in and you've worked
as hard as you possibly can, then.
Then you're okay with the outcome.
so in those times, like I tried to put everything in and I try to
do my best and I still fall short of what I believe I'm capable of.
And, and I forget too quickly who I am and, and that I am God's son
and that he is given me gifts and abilities to be able to do things.
Um, what's your advice to someone who's in that situation where they wanna
do the best they can, it feels like they just constantly come up short?
Connor Pay: I think, um, it reminds me of a, a talk by Elder
Holland, um, in general conference.
Um, I, I don't know if this is the title.
I can't remember the title off the top of my head, but he talks about
how we can, we'll, uh, we'll never be perfect like the savior commands,
but we can be perfect in trying.
And, you know, I think, um, you know, and someone in that, in
that scenario where you feel like you're constantly falling short
Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm
Connor Pay: is where maybe, maybe sometimes.
You know, for where you're at, you're setting the bar too high, where,
you know, even, even the savior himself had to learn grace for grace.
You know, as we, as we learn in section 93 of the doctrine and covenants, and
you, it's, it's by small and simple things that great things are brought to pass, you
know, as the Book of Mormon teaches us.
And so it's like, okay, you might feel like you're falling short,
but okay, think about the small and simple things you did right that day.
Because I think oftentimes, um, we think of, we think of repentance and why
repentance is talked about so much, and we always think of, um, repentance as
stopping to do something that is bad.
But so much of repentance is simply starting to do things that are right.
It's, it's not always doing something that's bad and, you know, you might feel
it, the feel the need, you know, feel the, that godly sorrow as the scriptures
say after you've done something wrong.
It's just a little more poignant in those moments.
But I would say, um, you know, I loved, uh, the talk from Elder Dunn from Lesko.
It's 1% better,
Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.
Connor Pay: right?
You, you don't have to, you may feel like you're falling short and you don't
have to fix that all at once, right?
That's, that's not, that's not how things are done.
You know, history.
The scriptures make that clear, right?
That, that this is a process over time, you know, and that, and that we are
trying to go through a transformation of sorts while we're on this earth, right?
And you think of some of the best to ever do it.
The people who were translated Enoch and his people, he was
like 300 and something years old.
Like it took him a long time to figure it out and get to that point.
And I think he's a great example, right?
And I think of, I think of when he received his calling from, from God
in Moses chapter six, you know, where he talks about how he, God calls
him to lead these people essentially gets his little mission call, right?
Or uh, or uh, something of that nature or received a new calling at church.
And, and you know, this is, you gotta remember when you're reading these
verses, this is Enoch talking, the prophet that got an entire city translated
and he is like, why are you asking me?
He is like, I suck at talking.
Everybody hates me.
And he is like, I am not the person for this job.
. That was his initial response.
He was basically like, I am falling short.
I'm not, I don't think I'm the person for this.
And I think it's so interesting what God asks him to do.
He says, anoint your eyes with clay.
So Enoch anoints his eyes with clay.
And then I think the phrase is so interesting that it says he beheld the
spirits that God had created where he had a simple change in perspective, right?
His, his worldview had changed a little bit.
He started to see the world as God sees the world, you know, and,
and he saw people not for what they are right now, but what they
could be and what they can be.
And I think that's, I think that's the mindset we have to take with ourselves.
So I think the, the meanest person sometimes, or the, the meanest, uh,
person or the person we are, the meanest to oftentimes is ourselves.
And it's that we give ourselves no grace.
Sometimes the grace that we would, we as good people, as empathetic
people would easily give to others if they came to us with the similar
challenges that we're going through.
But for whatever reason, we refuse to give it to ourselves.
And so I think, you know, and I, and then maybe this is just a, a long-winded
answer, but, um, I'll, I'll try to wrap it up in, in a thought here where
it's just, you know, there's, I think, uh, all you need to do when you're
feeling that way, and it's, it's a lot easier said than done, is just simply
have a shift in perspective, right?
To where you don't view yourself as what you feel in that moment.
You view yourself as what God has said you are and what you can be.
And just find something, something small and say, that's what I'm gonna fix today.
This is what I'm gonna do today.
Small bite-sized pieces that are easy to accomplish and you can all of a
sudden start taking bigger and bigger bites and, and next thing you know,
you know, I think that's, I think that's a, a natural process in life.
I think of the way we grow as human beings, the way we grow
muscle or something like that.
If you're working out, you're never gonna notice any difference.
If you start lifting, if you look in the mirror after one day, even
a week, you're not gonna notice a difference of lifting every day.
But you still do it.
You tear and you break those muscles down.
And then if you go and look at day one and day 100, all of a sudden
you notice this huge difference.
But in the moment, it doesn't necessarily feel that way.
And I think, uh, oftentimes that's how it feels for us too.
You're probably making more progress than you realize.
Jethro D. Jones: Yeah, that that is absolutely correct.
And the other of that is that you, you may not be making progress in one
particular area, but you're likely making progress in another area that's
complimentary or, uh, or adjacent or even like on the other side of that, you know?
you know, I, I think about someone, um, who I know who's, who's trying
to, uh, quit smoking and, um, is really, really struggling with it.
Um, but then like they, they haven't kicked that habit yet, Their spiritual
growth over time, even though they're still saddled with this physical
weakness is, is growing immensely.
at some point they're gonna have the, the spiritual strength that
is stronger than their physical and they're gonna be able to kick that
habit, but it's just not there yet.
And, and they feel like a failure because they can't do that one
thing, but they, they're growing in other ways that are incredible and,
and it's often hard to see that.
And you know, one of the things that's beneficial about football is that you have
a clear, like is where the performance really needs to shine game day, right?
And, and you have that day where you can measure and say, this is how I performed.
And every mistake that you make, you go back and look at it in film and you can
see how you did and you can correct it.
And then in practice, you're working on it again.
And even as much as you practice these last four years, you
still make mistakes, right?
And you're still not perfect.
And so you were to beat yourself up over every one of those little things,
it would be, know, you'd, you'd never step back out on the field.
And yet you know that you gotta just keep on going.
And so being able to have that day of this is, this is where it matters, and
this is where I'm taking a snapshot.
I imagine that really helps.
Does, how does that help you in other areas of your life?
Connor Pay: I think it helps immensely because that, that process,
the reason we use that process is that's the quickest way to improve,
Jethro D. Jones: Uhhuh,
Connor Pay: right?
And so that's, uh, it's easily something that I can apply to other areas of my
life in my schoolwork, takeout I did on a pre the last test, for example.
Okay, these are the, these are the questions I got wrong.
This is the categories they're from.
Clearly didn't know that well enough that I know that that's the
area of emphasis I need to focus my studies on for the next test.
You know, and it's, uh, I think, um, you know, ironically.
There's something in preach my Gospel on more of a spiritual
sense that I still use today.
You know, I think, uh, I'm a massive proponent of, uh, preach my gospel.
I think every member in the church should study, preach my gospel, um,
just the outlines of the doctrines there that makes everything so clear.
And I think we'd have a lot less false doctrine being preached by accident in
church on Sundays if people would just read chapter three or preach by gospel.
But anyways, chapter six in Preached by Gospel is, is about
developing Christlike attributes.
And there's, there's a little quiz in the back of that chapter
where you can essentially gauge where you're at on developing some
of those Christ-like attributes.
And that's one of those things I like to do for fun.
Where it's, uh, I'll, I'll go through and I'll see where I'm at
on some of those, and I have to be honest with myself in answering it.
And I, I could find areas that I need to go back and study and find
ways to improve to help myself become more like the savior.
Right?
And that's been, that's, that's like one, one clear thing on paper
that I know I can do to kind of give myself a, so I mean a score, I, I,
if that's what you want to call it.
Um, but, but, uh, really all it is, is it's an assessment
of my strengths and weaknesses.
And you have to be honest with yourself and accountable to yourself
on what your strengths are, but also what your weaknesses are.
And, and just keep in the back of your mind that weaknesses
are not, are not detrimental.
They can seem that way in the moment, but you know, the.
God has made it clear in the scriptures that he gives unmet weakness, uh,
that it can become strong, right?
And, uh, and so that's, that's one, uh, that's one random thing I kind
of thought of, you know, is that, that that assessment is great.
I'm glad that put that in.
Preach by gospel.
Jethro D. Jones: Well, well that's awesome because that
gives, uh, a to game day and a
Connor Pay: Yeah.
Jethro D. Jones: checking in and seeing where you're at and performing to, to
make sure that what you're doing is, is meeting the goals that you're setting
for yourself and allowing you to become kind of person that want to become.
Look at you.
I mean, you got that within Arm's Reach.
Preach my gospel.
That's awesome.
You're just like, oh yeah, I just have that right over here.
Talk about like
Connor Pay: Oh yeah.
This is
Jethro D. Jones: mouth is.
There you go.
Connor Pay: This is, uh, this is a new one I just got, so I'm starting
to work my way through it, but.
It's, uh, I still study, preach by gospel almost every day if I can.
Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.
Connor Pay: And not only because I've been a mission trainer and a mission prep
teacher for the last four years, I'm not anymore, but it's just, like I said, it
outlines kind of the doctrines so clearly.
Um, yeah, it's called the attribute activity
Jethro D. Jones: Okay.
Connor Pay: and it's,
Jethro D. Jones: I did my mission and preach, my gospel was just being
developed when I left my mission.
And so I didn't have, uh, I didn't have any exposure to it, and so I've only
seen it cursory, uh, over the years.
And so it's fascinating to hear you say that.
Like you still study it because it's, uh,
Connor Pay: yeah.
Jethro D. Jones: it's almost like a, a, a, I almost think of it like a book that
doesn't really apply to me in the gospel.
'cause I'm not
Connor Pay: Yeah.
Jethro D. Jones: I think you're calling me to repentance on that.
in a nice
Connor Pay: no, I'm, uh.
No, I, I think, uh, yeah, this is one of those, this is one of those soapbox I'll
stand on, you know, it's, it's for members to, to study from preach by gospel.
'cause then I could stop hearing things that make me
go, what on earth are we doing?
And fast and testimony meaning, or something.
But, uh,
Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.
Connor Pay: yeah, no, if it just goes through, you can, you can respond to these
questions one through five, one being never, two, being sometimes three, often
four, almost always, and five always.
And there's like six or seven questions on the attribute of Faith, hope, charity
and love, virtue integrity, knowledge, and um, you know, and then it has a scripture
reference attached to all of them,
Jethro D. Jones: Hmm.
Connor Pay: you know, and so it's, uh, humility, diligence, obedience,
and, and so I'll go through that just to kind of as a little, uh,
check myself type of, type of thing.
But.
Jethro D. Jones: Well,
Connor Pay: This is my public endorsement of Preach my Gospel.
Jethro D. Jones: I'm, I've got a, uh, a three hour drive, uh, today with my wife.
Uh, we're going the west side of the state today, and, um, she, uh,
we're gonna do that in the car ride.
So that's, I
Connor Pay: Yeah,
Jethro D. Jones: had planned, but that's, I'm driving and this is, this
is the radio I wanna listen to is, uh, doing the Christlike attribute activity.
That's great.
Um, so as, as we get kind of close to wrapping up here, I wanna talk about
the, the future o obviously you want to be in the NFL this time next year.
What other, What other and things are you trying to accomplish in the next
year and then also in the next 10 years?
And, so let's
Connor Pay: Ooh.
Jethro D. Jones: the next year, 'cause we're gonna talk
about 10 years in a minute.
But what are some things you wanna accomplish in the next
10 years or next one year?
Excuse me.
Sorry,
Connor Pay: I was gonna say 10 years.
I don't even know if I thought about that.
Um, but no, I think, uh, obviously the biggest goal for me right now is, you
know, I wanna make an NFL team, right?
And that's, that's, that's my biggest goal right now.
Just 'cause, uh, not only has it been my dream for a long time,
but, and a very real way now.
It's how I provide for myself and for my family right now.
And so, uh, that's the biggest goal.
But I, I, I also, I also want to continue to develop my relationship
with my heavenly Father.
You know, it's, uh,
and, and honestly, I, I feel like I'm doing a decent job,
you know, at the moment.
And so, but now it's kind of like, okay, now.
What do I do now?
What are, what are some action items I can kind of use to
take that to the next level?
Because it's the, it's kind of the same thing about we were talking about earlier.
You know, it's, I, I look back 365 days ago from today and I'm like, Hey,
that's a lot of spiritual progress made, you know, and I, and I feel like
I could do that from now to last year.
It's like now, okay, I need to continue doing those things, but also take,
you know, the next step as well.
And I think, uh, you know, in, in a strange way, chase and I's
podcast has been a big thing.
And that for me, I feel like that's taken my study to another
level, uh, because I gotta, I gotta know what I'm talking about.
If, you know, thousands of people are gonna listen to me, talk about
it with, with church leaders and general authorities, you know,
on, or have it on these podcasts.
Like the one we just recorded this week was with Elder Michael Dunn.
Of the 70.
And so it's like if you're going in there to have a gospel conversation
with these dudes, like you gotta know what you're talking about.
Right?
And so it's like that, that's been the thing in the last, you know, six months
that's helped me take it to the next level for me on an individual basis.
Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.
Connor Pay: And so now I think I gotta, I gotta do some, uh, I gotta
do some introspection a little bit and figure out, okay, now what's,
what's my thing gonna be for this year to help me take that next step?
You know?
And uh, and uh, you know, and I guess, I guess we'll have to see,
Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.
Good.
So, uh, make an NFL team develop your relationship with your Heavenly Father.
let's think further out, like 10 years from now.
What is it that you wanna be focusing on and, and paying attention to what's gonna
be important your life 10 years from now?
Connor Pay: yeah, 10 years I better be married and have some kids.
Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.
There you go.
Connor Pay: That's for sure.
That's, that's, that's something that I've always wanted, you know?
And so, uh, um, yeah.
And so my girlfriend and I started dating recently.
That's why I didn't put that into, into this year's goals.
I'm not trying not, not trying to put too much pressure on us, right.
But, uh, um,
Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.
Connor Pay: no.
But in 10 years, I, I definitely, you know, that's, that's the highest
covenant we can make on this earth.
Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm
Connor Pay: All right?
And that's, uh, I wanna, I wanna do that, you know?
And, uh, and you know, the idea of bringing life into this world
is a, is a pretty special thing.
We've been given one godly power on this earth, the power to create life,
you know, and it's, that's something that I wanna, wanna participate
in, you know, and it's, uh, always been a dream to, to be a father.
Jethro D. Jones: Well, uh, I will say being a father is like
the best thing in the world.
um, and it is just incredible.
And it, you talk, you talk about creation, often you think like that's
just the act of creating a baby, right?
But really, you are creating a life all as long as they're with you
because their life isn't finished yet.
And so conversations that you have, like insights that you receive about them,
like you're still creating and molding their life by what you're doing with
them, and that like, you know, your dad is still influencing you and helping you
make decisions and helping you to find who you are now because you're an adult
out of the house, but, but still in a powerful way that, um, That you listen
when he says something and every child listens when their dad says something.
Even if their dad is a, is a deadbeat, you know, he's still their father.
Even if they don't really know him a personal level, uh, and haven't
really connected with him, he still is the one who gave them life and,
and can continue to influence them.
Um,
Connor Pay: Yeah, no doubt.
I think, uh,
Jethro D. Jones: go
Connor Pay: can I say one thing about that too before we jump ahead?
Do you have, do you have any adult kids yet?
Jethro D. Jones: Uh, my oldest is 18.
Connor Pay: Okay.
Um, nice.
I think the, the only reason I bring that up is because I remember when I
got back from my mission, my parents became less parents and more my friends,
Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.
Connor Pay: and it's been a pretty cool, it's been a really cool transition.
It's like now that I'm older, they share a lot more about their life with me and
like kind of the, the struggles that they had to hide when I was younger,
you know, and some things my dad's in, uh, my dad's a corporate attorney and.
There was some times when I was little, six or seven that some companies were
coming after his company and he, he was getting named these lawsuits that
could have landed him in prison and they were obviously totally false.
Right.
And, and he obviously is fine now, but it's like, dang, you were going through
all that and I was fricking playing Guitar Hero on the Wii or something, and you
were, and you would come home and throw the football around with me like nothing
was going on, you know, and it's like, you know, it's, it's, it's really fun Now
it's like, obviously, you know, my, my dad is, will always be like the leader of
our family and, uh, him and my mom will always be the leaders of our family and
I'll always respect them in that way.
But it's like, now my parents are more my friends than they are my parents.
And I gotta be careful with that sometimes when I tell them
how, how, uh, you know, how well they're doing their parenting job.
Sometimes I need to know my place and be more of a kid in certain moments.
And.
Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.
Connor Pay: I tell him that they don't make my little brother do anything,
and his life is so easy, but you know,
Jethro D. Jones: Yeah,
Connor Pay: But no, I don't, I don't know if you're seeing that transition
yet with your, with your 18-year-old, but, but you, you become more, more
friends and it's, it's pretty fun.
Jethro D. Jones: it, it totally is.
And, and what's really fun is, is listening to the spirit as you figure
out how to make that transition and what things you share and
what things you, you still don't.
And you know, we had four kids pretty quick, uh, all within
about two years of each other.
So 13 or 13 is the youngest, then almost 15, then 17, and
then the 18, almost 19-year-old.
And so like, they're all
Connor Pay: Yeah.
Jethro D. Jones: in age.
So You know, in just five short years, we're gonna be empty nesters, basically.
And like that really changes things too, because that's not very long.
The last five years went by so fast, I can't even believe it.
And, and, and yet, like we're seeing them grow and develop and
develop their own testimonies, and we think that's really important.
And so we've been harping on that for years and years.
And now when I see it, it's so inspiring see how they're doing and
see like, oh, has her own testimony.
He understands this aspect of the gospel that I didn't ever explicitly
teach, but he totally gets it.
And he just showed me by how he's acting now.
And like, oh man, it's, it's so good.
Um, so you are going from a very structured, place to less structure,
more structure right now in, in the, in the training facility.
you've gotta, you, you don't have devotional BYU weekly.
You don't have like.
Team
Connor Pay: Yeah.
Jethro D. Jones: day and all these other things, how are you going to,
uh, like in charge of your time?
So you're given the right amount of time for you to the Lord
as you make this transition.
Connor Pay: Um, I think that just comes onto to the basic
skill of time management.
You know, you kind of kinda, like I said earlier, you can always find
time for, for God during the day.
And, and thankfully right now, you know, this is, I'm almost on a, on a missionary
schedule right now with this training.
You know, we're just with a lot more free time at night, you know, just, uh,
you know, we're at the facility from like seven to about, I get home on a
longer night, I'll get home at like five.
And so that's, that's all at the facility, that's all structured over there.
I'm always doing something and then I, I get home and I kind of have the
night to myself, you know, and it's, uh.
It's, it's kind of nice.
I have like a two hour window during the day, which is kinda like my quiet time.
'cause I'm like, I'm, I'm two hours ahead, uh, from Utah time.
And so it's like my parents are siblings.
My girlfriend's still in the middle of their day.
Like they're not back from work or school or whatever yet.
And so it's kinda like I can turn my phone off.
Nobody's gonna text me or call me.
And it's like I can, I can, that's kind of the time when I
first get home from training.
Gotta be careful if I lay on my bed too quick, I'll be out
because I'm so tired from the day.
But, um, if I, uh, you know, or I can sit down and actually have, this
has been really fun being out here 'cause I've had more time to study the
scriptures than, you know, I had during the season just 'cause we're so busy.
And so that's been a big deal for me.
Just, uh, and then obviously once I, uh, once my schedule gets less structured.
You know, getting back for Pro Day, it's really just gonna be, I'm, I'm a big
scheduler person where it's like, okay, I'm gonna, I, I, I'm picking a window
during the day where I'm gonna do some studies and, you know, that's my window.
And then I always take when I wake up in the morning, and, you know, before I go
to bed to have that time to pray, right?
And, and obviously I, I pray throughout the day.
Um, but that's, that's kind of my structured time where, where I know
I can get it and, uh, um, you know, and I try to, try to cut that time
in half, you know, where I spend the first half praying and, and telling
heavenly father what's, what's on my mind and what I've been going through.
And then the other half, I'll have a little pen and paper and I just
spend sitting there listening, you know, to, uh, to see what heavenly
father has to say to me because, uh.
I remember Elder Holland talking about that at a youth devotional hill.
They're hiring, I think they did like the Hill Kimora like 10 years ago.
I don't remember exactly where it was.
We talked about how oftentimes we're talking to God, saying this prayer
that was saying everything we need.
And you know, it's like a phone conversation.
Like, okay, sweet, thanks.
Name of Jesus Christ am Amen.
Bam.
Slam the phone down right.
Conversation over.
And we didn't even give him a chance to talk back, you know?
And so ever since I've heard that, I've always tried to do that where I'd say,
I say my prayers and then I give some time to where I just listen within with
a notepad and paper and I write down the thoughts and feelings that come.
Um, and it's like those are things that I know I can do every
day regardless of my schedule.
Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm
Connor Pay: And so that's, that's what I like about those because I can, they're,
they're easily adaptable with all the crazy stuff, schedule-wise I'm gonna be
going through in the next little bit.
I, I know that I'm gonna be able to find windows to study, you know, and, uh, I
know that I can take five or 10 minutes before I go to sleep, or right when I
wake up in the morning to pray and listen.
Like it's, you know, it's, uh, it's, so that's, that's, uh, that's
kind of my, my philosophy that I'm, that I'm taking to it right now.
Jethro D. Jones: I like that and that, and what I appreciate about it is,
uh, another thing that, that I am just reminded of that I need to do better
is, um, take that time to listen.
And, uh, you know, I, able to listen at different times throughout the day
but the middle of that prayer, uh, I, I very much at the end of the day am
like, pray goodnight, and boom, hit the pillow and take much time to listen.
So I, I can definitely get better at that.
Um, thi this has been an awesome conversation.
Connor.
Anything else that you want to add or say before we sign off?
Connor Pay: Um, no, not that I can think of.
I just really appreciate the opportunity.
This is a cool thing.
You know, it's a cool, almost, uh, annual spiritual journal entry, right?
Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I, that is what I am most excited about because in the moment, like we
don't think about like this is going to impact and we can all look back
and be like, 10 years ago, wow, that really was amazing or hard or whatever.
Um, but to do it in the middle, like such a gift that you are, uh, like you're full
of anticipation and positivity about the NFL draft and, and that's, that's awesome.
and next year your life is gonna be totally different no matter what happens.
Right?
Connor Pay: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Next year's episode's gonna be a doozy probably.
Jethro D. Jones: Yep.
And, uh, and there's gonna be a lot going on for sure, and we may need to adjust it
because you might be, uh, preparing for the Super Bowl and you may not have time
to sit down and have this conversation.
So you know, that's, that's the prayer at least.
So, you know, this, I, I think it's gonna be really fun.
I think it's gonna be beneficial for your kids and, uh, your
posterity later to see this.
And,
well listen to it 'cause we're not saving the video, just the audio.
So, you know, I, I, I'm just really appreciative of it and to everybody
who's listening, thank you so much.
And, uh, um, can hear all the episodes at a decade never to be
forgotten.com Connor, thank you so much.
Is there any way you want people to connect with you, follow
you on Instagram or anything?
What do you I.
Connor Pay: Uh, hit me up on Instagram, Twitter, you know, uh, uh, feel free.
Those are kind of the main.
Platforms that I'm on and yeah, just, yeah.
Thanks again for, for putting this all together and doing this.
It's really cool.
Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.
Thank you.