WEBVTT NOTE This file was generated by Descript 00:00:00.050 --> 00:00:00.340 Matt: Yeah. 00:00:01.200 --> 00:00:02.940 Why did I start talking about chewing gum 00:00:02.960 --> 00:00:07.120 Alison: I don't actually remember. 00:00:07.780 --> 00:00:10.630 There was something, there was something happening in your brain 00:00:10.660 --> 00:00:14.440 that was chewing gum adjacent. 00:00:14.530 --> 00:00:15.370 Um, 00:00:16.409 --> 00:00:16.700 Matt: Okay. 00:00:16.700 --> 00:00:16.980 Okay. 00:00:18.000 --> 00:00:20.920 Uh, hi Alison. 00:00:21.180 --> 00:00:21.680 Alison: Hi Matt 00:00:22.570 --> 00:00:30.420 Matt: Welcome to ADHd20, a podcast where we find the intersection between 00:00:30.780 --> 00:00:31.070 Alison: ADHD 00:00:31.416 --> 00:00:32.876 and TTRPGs. 00:00:33.696 --> 00:00:37.026 Matt: This is one of my favorite times, but I'm a little nervous about 00:00:37.036 --> 00:00:42.276 today because you have a topic that you came up with five minutes before 00:00:42.276 --> 00:00:42.576 Alison: Yep. 00:00:42.581 --> 00:00:42.626 Up 00:00:43.776 --> 00:00:44.996 Matt: And that's fine. 00:00:45.936 --> 00:00:49.196 See, the, the, the premise this podcast, which we never want to 00:00:49.266 --> 00:00:56.036 lose is it, is that we wanted this thing to be an honest conversation. 00:00:56.096 --> 00:01:02.033 We wanted this to be a learning experience and so and so forth. 00:01:03.533 --> 00:01:04.843 Alison: But first 00:01:05.323 --> 00:01:05.893 Matt: But first... 00:01:05.893 --> 00:01:08.573 Alison: I'm really proud of myself for one thing first. 00:01:08.963 --> 00:01:13.766 So we, we, we, already have our mainstay of the d100 table, and last week, 00:01:14.426 --> 00:01:19.196 I introduced a new topic and pondered if we would remember to do it ever again. 00:01:19.556 --> 00:01:21.896 So here we are, second week in a row. 00:01:21.896 --> 00:01:23.096 I'm gonna bring this topic up. 00:01:23.096 --> 00:01:25.826 Matt, what did you hyper fixate on this week? 00:01:26.100 --> 00:01:28.469 And if you need a minute to think about it, I can tell you mine, 00:01:29.089 --> 00:01:29.149 Matt: Yeah! 00:01:29.170 --> 00:01:31.659 Alison: But it does require that I eat a little bit of crow. 00:01:32.469 --> 00:01:36.820 confess out loud into the world listening that I was wrong about something. 00:01:37.630 --> 00:01:39.310 Is that, what does that sound crows make? 00:01:40.120 --> 00:01:40.690 I don't know. 00:01:40.690 --> 00:01:40.799 I don't, 00:01:41.320 --> 00:01:41.719 I don't know. 00:01:45.429 --> 00:01:51.916 Uh, the year was 2020 a television show hit streaming opportunities 00:01:52.166 --> 00:01:56.976 worldwide and the world fell in love the world except for one Alison Leigh 00:01:56.996 --> 00:02:03.776 Kendrick, who staunchly doubled down on how much she didn't like Ted Lasso. 00:02:03.940 --> 00:02:04.450 Matt: Mm. 00:02:05.240 --> 00:02:09.140 Alison: And with some gentle prodding of some friends, I was 00:02:09.145 --> 00:02:13.575 encouraged to give it another shot that maybe my initial assessment 00:02:13.575 --> 00:02:15.555 in season one wasn't the right one. 00:02:16.125 --> 00:02:21.855 So I have given Ted Lasso another shot and I am deep in the throes of season two. 00:02:21.855 --> 00:02:23.955 I think I've got one or two episodes left. 00:02:24.535 --> 00:02:24.825 Matt: Okay. 00:02:25.155 --> 00:02:26.265 Alison: It's so good. 00:02:26.265 --> 00:02:29.125 I understand why everybody loves Ted Lasso and I'm so sorry for 00:02:29.125 --> 00:02:35.325 the last three years of being a contrarian and telling everybody no. 00:02:35.775 --> 00:02:40.185 And I feel like that has opened some other doors for me. 00:02:40.185 --> 00:02:45.885 I have been very purposefully pushing myself into, let me try something new. 00:02:46.175 --> 00:02:47.525 Let me try something new. 00:02:47.855 --> 00:02:54.005 So I think that Ted Lasso is the micro hyper fixation, the macro hyper 00:02:54.005 --> 00:02:56.285 fixation is, I'm trying new shit, man. 00:02:56.495 --> 00:02:57.945 I'm, I'm, I'm, I am. 00:02:58.625 --> 00:03:01.565 So throw your new things at me guys. 00:03:02.235 --> 00:03:02.715 Matt: I love it. 00:03:03.155 --> 00:03:03.835 I love this. 00:03:04.275 --> 00:03:04.875 I love this. 00:03:06.510 --> 00:03:07.360 Full Glow-Up. 00:03:08.660 --> 00:03:09.930 Can we change it Glope? 00:03:09.980 --> 00:03:11.300 Alison: That sounds very sexy. 00:03:11.330 --> 00:03:11.810 Sure. 00:03:12.040 --> 00:03:13.250 Matt: Glope. 00:03:13.520 --> 00:03:16.640 Alison: So that, that was mine vamping for time. 00:03:16.640 --> 00:03:18.230 What did you hyper fixate on? 00:03:18.260 --> 00:03:19.940 That you were on vacation this week. 00:03:19.940 --> 00:03:22.420 You were not at home, you turned another year older. 00:03:23.390 --> 00:03:24.230 Wiser. 00:03:24.860 --> 00:03:25.280 Matt: Mm-hmm. 00:03:25.700 --> 00:03:26.630 Alison: Sexier. 00:03:27.510 --> 00:03:28.200 Matt: Well, thank you. 00:03:28.370 --> 00:03:28.880 Thank you. 00:03:29.320 --> 00:03:30.480 I feel a little sexier. 00:03:32.890 --> 00:03:35.360 Let's see, what did, what did I hyper-focus on? 00:03:35.550 --> 00:03:36.950 I know what I hyper-focused on. 00:03:37.050 --> 00:03:37.340 Alison: Okay. 00:03:38.100 --> 00:03:38.540 I can't wait. 00:03:39.240 --> 00:03:39.590 Matt: Right. 00:03:39.650 --> 00:03:43.940 So my friend Katie, who is the person that lives in Seattle that we went to 00:03:43.940 --> 00:03:51.180 visit and we stayed at her beautiful home in West Seattle, and got to spend 00:03:51.180 --> 00:03:55.820 five days with her where she wined us and dined us, took us to all these 00:03:55.820 --> 00:03:59.580 amazing places, like the best sushi I've ever, ever eaten in my life. 00:03:59.760 --> 00:04:04.420 She really, you know, she loves her city and it really shows. 00:04:04.650 --> 00:04:13.870 She has an adorable nephew that at eight even younger five, is obsessed with vacuum 00:04:13.950 --> 00:04:17.150 cleaners, which automatically makes him 00:04:17.845 --> 00:04:19.075 Alison: One of your favorite people. 00:04:19.900 --> 00:04:20.190 Matt: Yeah. 00:04:20.286 --> 00:04:22.886 Immediately, I support that every level. 00:04:23.826 --> 00:04:28.766 And his aunt asked him, what vacuum cleaner should I buy for my new house? 00:04:29.226 --> 00:04:33.950 And she showed me the she showed me the incredible review that he gave. 00:04:34.070 --> 00:04:39.013 I This beautiful review of the Miele German made vacuum 00:04:39.013 --> 00:04:41.093 cleaner, extremely expensive. 00:04:41.433 --> 00:04:43.253 She was able to find one for less. 00:04:43.558 --> 00:04:44.188 Alison: Nice. 00:04:44.736 --> 00:04:48.616 Matt: I went balls to the wall with this super powerful German 00:04:48.616 --> 00:04:50.656 vacuum cleaner, and I went nuts. 00:04:50.871 --> 00:04:51.341 Alison: Of course you did. 00:04:51.341 --> 00:04:56.416 Matt: I was exhausted afterwards, the entire house, top to bottom, just 00:04:56.546 --> 00:04:58.616 every little crevice I could find. 00:04:58.913 --> 00:05:00.133 And it was fun. 00:05:00.133 --> 00:05:01.613 It was very fun. 00:05:01.638 --> 00:05:04.428 Alison: If you added a hot dog pizza to that day, that would 00:05:04.428 --> 00:05:05.868 be like Matt's best day ever. 00:05:08.838 --> 00:05:12.408 Hot dog pizza, some D&D and hardcore vacuuming. 00:05:12.408 --> 00:05:14.123 He's a simple man, my friend Matt. 00:05:15.348 --> 00:05:17.248 Matt: I'm a, I'm a simple and strange man... 00:05:17.468 --> 00:05:19.798 and many, many people you know, point this out. 00:05:20.098 --> 00:05:24.710 There's something about vacuum cleaners and the process of cleaning a house that 00:05:24.710 --> 00:05:27.510 is so meditative and relaxing and for me. 00:05:28.522 --> 00:05:29.062 Alison: All right. 00:05:29.212 --> 00:05:29.692 All right. 00:05:29.752 --> 00:05:31.452 Enough, enough, enough vacuuming. 00:05:31.452 --> 00:05:32.582 Matt: We've got lives to lead. 00:05:32.602 --> 00:05:33.262 Alison: Um, yeah. 00:05:33.262 --> 00:05:39.442 So today I am rolling with my, uh, these are my Cora dice that Fitz, uh, gave 00:05:39.442 --> 00:05:41.212 me for Christmas, and I just love them. 00:05:41.212 --> 00:05:42.352 They're from Dispel Dice. 00:05:42.357 --> 00:05:45.212 They are sharp edge and sexy as hell. 00:05:45.237 --> 00:05:47.932 They've got little, they've got little waves on 'em from my, 00:05:47.942 --> 00:05:49.402 my beautiful little sea elf. 00:05:49.880 --> 00:05:50.900 How about a 93? 00:05:52.175 --> 00:05:53.115 Matt: Ooh, 93. 00:05:54.075 --> 00:05:54.845 Okay, here we go. 00:05:55.015 --> 00:05:55.375 Alison: Okay. 00:05:56.165 --> 00:05:57.845 Matt: Speaking of Dice Alison, 00:05:58.285 --> 00:05:58.855 Alison: Ooh. 00:05:59.209 --> 00:06:03.309 Matt: If you were to commission a set of personal dice, what would they look like? 00:06:04.439 --> 00:06:10.829 Alison: Oh, There are just so many ways that could go, oh, my brain is breaking. 00:06:11.039 --> 00:06:11.429 Okay. 00:06:11.549 --> 00:06:11.969 Okay. 00:06:12.029 --> 00:06:12.419 Okay. 00:06:12.929 --> 00:06:13.739 I can do this. 00:06:14.649 --> 00:06:19.809 My most favorite dice have some kind of in like inclusion in them. 00:06:19.809 --> 00:06:23.949 So I love the ones that have like the, it's like almost like a cellophane or 00:06:23.949 --> 00:06:26.109 like Micah chips and things like that. 00:06:27.399 --> 00:06:32.379 So if I were to commission, okay, here's what I would do. 00:06:32.619 --> 00:06:34.359 First of all, they would be purple and gray, because 00:06:34.359 --> 00:06:35.739 those are my signature colors. 00:06:36.159 --> 00:06:41.799 Second of all, they would, I would want an inclusion of my favorite thing inside. 00:06:42.759 --> 00:06:44.769 Which would be D&D dice. 00:06:44.769 --> 00:06:50.169 So I want a set of D&D dice with D&D dice inside. 00:06:50.272 --> 00:06:50.882 Matt: Inception. 00:06:51.182 --> 00:06:51.602 Alison: Yeah. 00:06:51.732 --> 00:06:52.792 Dice-ception. 00:06:53.100 --> 00:06:53.720 Matt: That's fun. 00:06:53.800 --> 00:06:56.020 Alison: I'm proud of myself for coming up with that answer that quickly on 00:06:56.020 --> 00:07:00.640 the fly, cuz that is a Fitz question I, I had never thought of before. 00:07:00.640 --> 00:07:01.930 So, thank you Fitz. 00:07:02.490 --> 00:07:03.310 Matt: That's difficult. 00:07:03.380 --> 00:07:03.670 Yeah. 00:07:04.340 --> 00:07:04.630 Okay. 00:07:04.850 --> 00:07:05.230 I'm rolling. 00:07:06.049 --> 00:07:07.939 This looks like four. 00:07:08.624 --> 00:07:09.194 Alison: Wow. 00:07:09.544 --> 00:07:12.364 What's something that you're kind of a snob about? 00:07:12.664 --> 00:07:14.194 Just, just one thing, Matt. 00:07:14.784 --> 00:07:16.204 Matt: That's, come on, man. 00:07:17.034 --> 00:07:19.034 Talk about difficult questions. 00:07:19.084 --> 00:07:20.174 Alison: I know. 00:07:20.449 --> 00:07:22.609 I'm so glad you got this question and not me. 00:07:23.674 --> 00:07:24.164 Matt: Come on. 00:07:24.259 --> 00:07:25.729 Alison: Everybody's favorite hipster. 00:07:26.507 --> 00:07:27.817 Matt: What am I not a snob about? 00:07:27.817 --> 00:07:28.407 Alison: That's true. 00:07:29.582 --> 00:07:30.512 Know thyself. 00:07:30.800 --> 00:07:32.520 Matt: I just like nice things. 00:07:33.240 --> 00:07:43.760 I appreciate artistry in all forms, I, really, I really can't stand mediocrity. 00:07:44.107 --> 00:07:49.847 Now, look, I will get all up into a box of Kraft macaroni and cheese. 00:07:51.767 --> 00:07:52.057 Okay? 00:07:53.837 --> 00:07:59.337 So I'm not saying I don't have my redneck elements, my my common man elements. 00:07:59.337 --> 00:08:02.817 However, okay, I can do this. 00:08:03.191 --> 00:08:05.711 I kind of wanna ask you what I'm the most snobby about 00:08:12.491 --> 00:08:15.311 Alison: I would say the first thing that came to mind was your coffee. 00:08:15.311 --> 00:08:17.641 You're the first person that taught me there is a precise temperature 00:08:18.141 --> 00:08:21.761 and, uh, grind to water ratio. 00:08:21.761 --> 00:08:24.551 And because of that I always make coffee that way, 00:08:24.551 --> 00:08:26.001 Matt: That's pretension rather than... 00:08:26.931 --> 00:08:27.281 right? 00:08:28.151 --> 00:08:30.401 Because I'm, I am pretentious about it, but 00:08:30.461 --> 00:08:33.731 Alison: All right, so language then, because you're now correcting the 00:08:33.731 --> 00:08:38.111 thing that I said, you're snobby about by saying, well actually 00:08:38.381 --> 00:08:39.851 that's pretentious, Alison. 00:08:40.871 --> 00:08:41.981 Semantics. 00:08:42.041 --> 00:08:42.531 Matthew 00:08:43.141 --> 00:08:48.481 Matt: No, no, no, no, no. 00:08:48.481 --> 00:08:51.131 Alison: I mean, the jokes just write themselves on this show. 00:08:51.851 --> 00:08:52.061 They're 00:08:52.711 --> 00:08:54.221 Matt: They're just ready to go. 00:08:54.881 --> 00:08:56.961 No, that's not right either. 00:08:57.041 --> 00:08:58.031 Alison: Okay. 00:08:58.131 --> 00:09:01.491 The other thing would obviously be something technology adjacent, 00:09:01.509 --> 00:09:02.009 Matt: That's it. 00:09:02.009 --> 00:09:02.289 Windows. 00:09:02.669 --> 00:09:03.479 Windows Android. 00:09:03.479 --> 00:09:04.034 Alison: Yeah, yeah, yeah, 00:09:04.034 --> 00:09:07.279 Matt: I'm extremely aggressively snobby them yeah. 00:09:07.279 --> 00:09:07.429 Alison: Yeah. 00:09:07.479 --> 00:09:10.769 Matt: I am aggressively snobby about those operating systems. 00:09:11.302 --> 00:09:17.262 I will go on diatribes about what I feel Windows, what is it, 11 now? 00:09:17.436 --> 00:09:24.316 And just again, again, an incredible state of mediocrity, It's just living 00:09:24.696 --> 00:09:27.916 in an incredible state of mediocrity. 00:09:27.916 --> 00:09:28.216 Alison: Oh, my God. 00:09:28.416 --> 00:09:29.376 Matt: So I will be very snobby. 00:09:29.396 --> 00:09:32.876 I will make, I will dive into the ADHD tax for it. 00:09:33.356 --> 00:09:35.996 I will do anything I can to not use a Windows machine. 00:09:36.416 --> 00:09:38.036 So that's that's pure snobbery. 00:09:38.036 --> 00:09:38.556 Good job. 00:09:39.026 --> 00:09:39.476 Love it. 00:09:39.572 --> 00:09:41.347 Alison: Know thyself or ask Alison. 00:09:44.015 --> 00:09:45.545 Matt: This is the best podcast ever. 00:09:45.935 --> 00:09:46.225 Okay. 00:09:47.295 --> 00:09:47.585 Okay. 00:09:47.885 --> 00:09:50.195 How much, how much more can I learn about myself today? 00:09:50.265 --> 00:09:50.895 Alison: Let's go. 00:09:50.895 --> 00:09:51.105 Well, 00:09:51.465 --> 00:09:53.865 well, funny you should bring it up, Matt. 00:09:53.865 --> 00:09:55.175 Let's get into the meat of this. 00:09:55.175 --> 00:09:55.405 Okay. 00:09:55.405 --> 00:09:58.245 Matt: Let's get the meat of this topic. 00:09:58.555 --> 00:10:00.195 Alison's got something to say me. 00:10:00.615 --> 00:10:02.755 Uh, should, should I try to wind it up a little bit? 00:10:03.185 --> 00:10:06.085 You came to me five minutes before we started this podcast and said, 00:10:07.565 --> 00:10:14.515 I think that we should talk about our Sunday D&D session in Barovia. 00:10:15.055 --> 00:10:19.244 Because something happened during that game that caused great 00:10:19.284 --> 00:10:25.338 feelings, and I would like to discuss it with you live on a podcast. 00:10:26.598 --> 00:10:32.518 And the thing that happened was your character named Chimerical 00:10:33.048 --> 00:10:41.441 was killed in the game during a a all out drag out fight. 00:10:42.091 --> 00:10:48.895 Your party, decided to take on an entire camp full of Vistani. 00:10:48.915 --> 00:10:49.335 Mm-hmm. 00:10:50.205 --> 00:10:54.931 They're, they're sort of an evil ish group you were trying to 00:10:54.931 --> 00:11:01.454 rescue your friend Willem from imprisonment, and it just went south. 00:11:01.664 --> 00:11:03.094 Alison: Hoodog! 00:11:03.124 --> 00:11:03.864 Matt: It was a trap. 00:11:03.974 --> 00:11:10.744 They set the trap, you walk into the trap, you trigger it, and really you, 00:11:10.884 --> 00:11:12.904 you kind of had to fight your way out. 00:11:13.044 --> 00:11:13.274 Alison: Mm-hmm. 00:11:13.274 --> 00:11:13.554 Mm-hmm. 00:11:13.554 --> 00:11:19.064 Matt: But this is an enormous camp full of humans you kind of had to smash through. 00:11:19.364 --> 00:11:27.528 And the Vistani overwhelmed Chimerical and basically beat her to death. 00:11:28.054 --> 00:11:28.864 That was the setup. 00:11:29.244 --> 00:11:32.464 Now what, what would you like to talk about today? 00:11:33.356 --> 00:11:35.846 Alison: I feel like you feel like I've called you into the principal's office. 00:11:36.491 --> 00:11:36.931 Matt: I do. 00:11:37.371 --> 00:11:37.891 I do. 00:11:39.091 --> 00:11:39.611 I do. 00:11:39.991 --> 00:11:40.691 Oh my gosh. 00:11:41.191 --> 00:11:41.731 Oh my gosh. 00:11:41.841 --> 00:11:42.331 Well see. 00:11:42.681 --> 00:11:42.971 Okay. 00:11:43.001 --> 00:11:43.291 Okay. 00:11:43.561 --> 00:11:44.411 Okay, Ms. 00:11:44.411 --> 00:11:45.771 Kendrick, here's the thing though. 00:11:45.931 --> 00:11:50.811 I was just like doing my thing and then, then Billy 00:11:52.616 --> 00:11:54.396 Alison: So let me, let me add a little bit more. 00:11:54.776 --> 00:11:58.706 Um, so everything that you just said is correct as far as like the in-game setup. 00:11:58.946 --> 00:12:04.806 The, the setup for why I thought this would maybe, and listeners of ADHd20, 00:12:04.826 --> 00:12:08.816 please feel free to let me know if, if this feeling is to the contrary. 00:12:09.056 --> 00:12:13.676 The reason I thought this might make for an interesting podcast episode is 00:12:13.946 --> 00:12:18.806 because this episode is falling directly after last episode where we were prompted 00:12:18.806 --> 00:12:23.096 to talk about what makes a safe space for the neurospicy in game and in life. 00:12:23.606 --> 00:12:29.366 And one of the points that Matt and I made collectively in that episode was 00:12:29.371 --> 00:12:34.396 around how we deal with conflict, both in game and in life, you know, and we kind 00:12:34.396 --> 00:12:38.026 of both like, hey, let's, let's, let's calm it down and then come back later. 00:12:38.026 --> 00:12:40.816 So I thought that this could be, there isn't any conflict 00:12:40.816 --> 00:12:42.316 between me and Matt as friends. 00:12:42.316 --> 00:12:44.206 Let, let me just go ahead and blanket statement that. 00:12:44.716 --> 00:12:49.906 Um, but I do have questions and feelings about what went down, 00:12:51.026 --> 00:12:51.446 Matt: Mm-hmm. 00:12:51.749 --> 00:12:55.229 Alison: On Sunday with, so Chimerical is the character 00:12:55.229 --> 00:12:55.909 I've been playing the longest. 00:12:56.929 --> 00:12:57.219 Matt: Yeah. 00:12:57.329 --> 00:12:59.819 Alison: She's, she's the second character that I ever rolled up. 00:13:00.509 --> 00:13:02.773 Um, I started playing her in 2020. 00:13:02.773 --> 00:13:05.793 It was the first game that Matt started DMing for us, and 00:13:06.133 --> 00:13:07.303 I've been playing her since. 00:13:07.483 --> 00:13:12.013 So of course I'm emotionally wound up in this character. 00:13:12.013 --> 00:13:14.533 Of course, I'm gonna feel certain ways. 00:13:15.503 --> 00:13:18.503 I think something being emotional doesn't mean that it's bad. 00:13:18.503 --> 00:13:22.193 In fact, I love when things I, I love, the episodes where 00:13:22.193 --> 00:13:23.303 we get real with each other. 00:13:23.403 --> 00:13:26.373 And so I've been trying to like open up more and, you know, when 00:13:26.373 --> 00:13:29.343 you find the people that you can be vulnerable and squishy with. 00:13:29.393 --> 00:13:35.243 But in, in true ADHD, super impulsive fashion, we had, we had a topic for today. 00:13:35.243 --> 00:13:36.233 We had an outline. 00:13:36.238 --> 00:13:39.173 I had done the research for it, and I was like, Hey, you know what, 00:13:40.013 --> 00:13:41.123 just, let's just throw that out. 00:13:41.123 --> 00:13:44.453 So, yeah, so Matt has set the scene, Chimerical has died, 00:13:45.133 --> 00:13:45.553 Matt: Mm-hmm. 00:13:46.276 --> 00:13:47.776 Alison: and here's what happened next. 00:13:48.866 --> 00:13:49.326 Matt: Uh oh, 00:13:49.496 --> 00:13:54.386 Alison: So unfortunately for all of us, Chimerical's death happened fairly quickly 00:13:54.386 --> 00:13:59.066 into the session, like I think within, within the first hour or so of gameplay. 00:13:59.116 --> 00:14:03.136 So what was interesting about that is then I'm just, I was 00:14:03.136 --> 00:14:04.806 just kind of left there to, 00:14:04.886 --> 00:14:05.576 Matt: Yeah, I hate that. 00:14:05.646 --> 00:14:08.106 Alison: To do nothing to be dead, which is not a good feeling. 00:14:08.196 --> 00:14:09.576 And as I'm sitting there. 00:14:11.016 --> 00:14:15.936 Being dead, not liking that, feeling angry about the fact that my character died and 00:14:15.936 --> 00:14:20.436 then all of the, like, what was happening to me is that all of the emotions of 00:14:20.436 --> 00:14:24.256 like, this isn't it for Chimerical for me, like this is, this is the 00:14:24.261 --> 00:14:26.506 campaign that a love story has happened. 00:14:26.506 --> 00:14:27.796 So I wanna see what happens there. 00:14:27.801 --> 00:14:30.076 So there was this little part of me, he's like, I found love and now it's 00:14:30.076 --> 00:14:31.326 being taken from me cuz I'm dead. 00:14:31.726 --> 00:14:35.536 You know, so I'm having this like, very like, personal reaction to that. 00:14:35.746 --> 00:14:38.656 Uh, you know, Matt and I have been hard at work on all of these different like, 00:14:38.661 --> 00:14:43.121 level ups for uh, for Chimerical and like, what's gonna happen next in her story. 00:14:43.121 --> 00:14:47.111 And I'm watching all of that just float away. 00:14:47.116 --> 00:14:48.111 And, and I, and so, 00:14:48.111 --> 00:14:49.411 Matt: With every drop of blood. 00:14:49.481 --> 00:14:50.891 Alison: So I was uncomfortable. 00:14:50.921 --> 00:14:52.691 Like I was sad, I was upset. 00:14:52.741 --> 00:14:56.691 But then Matt you, you kept looking at me and you kept going, Alison gets so mad. 00:14:57.111 --> 00:14:58.861 Alison gets so mad. 00:15:00.368 --> 00:15:03.248 And so I think this is where like my personal RSD probably 00:15:03.253 --> 00:15:03.939 kicked in a little bit. 00:15:04.028 --> 00:15:04.318 Like 00:15:04.873 --> 00:15:05.293 Matt: Mm-hmm. 00:15:05.683 --> 00:15:07.333 Alison: Where like, of course I'm sad. 00:15:08.073 --> 00:15:08.363 Matt: Yeah. 00:15:08.413 --> 00:15:09.733 Alison: Of course I'm not happy. 00:15:09.853 --> 00:15:11.593 I'm not mad at you, Matt. 00:15:11.603 --> 00:15:13.973 You were acting in character through the bad guys that we, I 00:15:13.973 --> 00:15:15.113 mean, we were fighting bad guys. 00:15:15.113 --> 00:15:15.843 I wanted to kill them. 00:15:16.033 --> 00:15:17.094 They wanted to kill me. 00:15:17.603 --> 00:15:20.693 I lost, they won, like, all of those different things. 00:15:20.693 --> 00:15:24.363 But I definitely felt, am I doing this wrong? 00:15:24.363 --> 00:15:28.173 Am I, am I reacting bad to to this? 00:15:28.794 --> 00:15:32.839 Matt: I'll speak to this first and say that I think that I 00:15:32.839 --> 00:15:35.559 was experiencing my own RSD... 00:15:35.559 --> 00:15:36.149 Alison: I could feel that. 00:15:36.339 --> 00:15:40.488 Matt: ...at that moment, because believe it or not, I may talk a lot about 00:15:40.488 --> 00:15:42.008 wanting the stakes to be super high. 00:15:42.288 --> 00:15:49.618 I may talk a lot about wishing that the game was just harder and it's so 00:15:49.618 --> 00:15:56.168 easy now and, in D&D 5E for people to become unconscious and then pop back up. 00:15:56.188 --> 00:15:56.408 And 00:15:56.463 --> 00:15:57.503 Alison: Mm-hmm. 00:15:57.553 --> 00:15:59.458 Matt: and bing boing boing like a little, jack in the box. 00:15:59.753 --> 00:16:03.053 I didn't know what your party was going to, I didn't know everyone was going to 00:16:03.053 --> 00:16:03.328 Alison: Yeah. 00:16:03.383 --> 00:16:07.923 Matt: So I was not trying to, to kill people for sure, and 00:16:08.043 --> 00:16:10.703 I did not like that the dice 00:16:10.833 --> 00:16:10.963 Alison: Yeah. 00:16:11.363 --> 00:16:13.493 Matt: Rolled your death. 00:16:13.493 --> 00:16:14.103 Alison: Yes, 00:16:14.133 --> 00:16:15.428 Matt: dice told that 00:16:15.738 --> 00:16:15.958 Alison: yes. 00:16:16.283 --> 00:16:20.623 Matt: Here's where I think being a Dungeon Master is so hard, right? 00:16:20.623 --> 00:16:26.143 Like, me, me, me, because I do have the power at that 00:16:26.178 --> 00:16:26.468 Alison: Yeah. 00:16:27.083 --> 00:16:33.103 Matt: to wave a magic wand and say something distracts this, this group 00:16:33.163 --> 00:16:35.303 of people that are just full on... 00:16:35.318 --> 00:16:35.608 Alison: Yeah. 00:16:37.718 --> 00:16:39.808 Matt: ...gang warfare on this one person. 00:16:40.028 --> 00:16:41.728 You are a body, you've gone unconscious. 00:16:41.728 --> 00:16:42.608 What are they going to do? 00:16:42.848 --> 00:16:43.268 Alison: Mm-hmm. 00:16:44.068 --> 00:16:48.038 Matt: In a movie, in a horror movie, in a, in an action movie. 00:16:48.428 --> 00:16:48.538 Alison: Mm-hmm. 00:16:48.628 --> 00:16:50.368 Matt: the bad guys aren't going to stop 00:16:50.793 --> 00:16:51.053 Alison: Yeah. 00:16:51.053 --> 00:16:51.903 Mm-hmm. 00:16:51.903 --> 00:16:54.088 Matt: They're not gonna, they're not gonna go away. 00:16:54.468 --> 00:16:57.648 So, I do have the power to make them go away. 00:16:57.983 --> 00:17:01.088 I could make something up, do, I know that that's, 00:17:01.193 --> 00:17:01.433 Alison: Mm-hmm. 00:17:01.433 --> 00:17:02.983 Matt: that feels cheap sometimes. 00:17:03.228 --> 00:17:08.288 And I know also that it could also feel cheap to you as 00:17:08.413 --> 00:17:08.833 Alison: Mm-hmm. 00:17:10.828 --> 00:17:13.488 Matt: You don't necessarily want me to do that cuz you know 00:17:13.763 --> 00:17:13.983 Alison: No. 00:17:14.473 --> 00:17:14.863 Yeah. 00:17:14.963 --> 00:17:15.183 Yeah. 00:17:15.183 --> 00:17:15.613 And I, 00:17:16.283 --> 00:17:18.073 Matt: I'm basically cheating keep you alive. 00:17:18.763 --> 00:17:19.993 Alison: I definitely did not want that. 00:17:19.993 --> 00:17:23.593 There was no part of me that wanted you to like hand wave and be like, this was a 00:17:23.593 --> 00:17:26.054 bad dream, or, I, I wanted none of that. 00:17:26.059 --> 00:17:28.783 Like real stakes, Chimerical really died. 00:17:28.843 --> 00:17:32.963 No issue with any of that at all. 00:17:33.213 --> 00:17:41.005 Matt: So, so this happens and I, I do worry because I, I know that you, you 00:17:41.005 --> 00:17:43.685 have a, a very emotional reaction to this. 00:17:43.905 --> 00:17:45.045 As well you should. 00:17:45.865 --> 00:17:48.465 As well you should, because everything that you said is true. 00:17:48.965 --> 00:17:52.205 So I immediately am worried about what you think of me. 00:17:52.205 --> 00:17:53.015 Alison: Mm-hmm. 00:17:53.085 --> 00:17:55.185 Matt: I'm always talking about killing you guys. 00:17:55.525 --> 00:17:57.185 But I don't really want you to die. 00:17:57.225 --> 00:17:58.745 I really don't want that. 00:17:59.085 --> 00:18:00.265 It, but it happened. 00:18:00.965 --> 00:18:06.875 And I, what I should have been saying instead of you get so mad 00:18:07.575 --> 00:18:09.635 is I should have said are you mad? 00:18:09.735 --> 00:18:10.395 Are you mad? 00:18:11.545 --> 00:18:14.315 But instead I was like, she gets so mad. 00:18:15.095 --> 00:18:19.018 Uh, so that is my, not a defense, but that is what went through my 00:18:19.788 --> 00:18:19.978 Alison: Yeah. 00:18:19.978 --> 00:18:20.038 Yeah. 00:18:20.103 --> 00:18:23.763 So, yeah, then I felt, I felt called out like, and so that, and then that 00:18:23.768 --> 00:18:28.263 helps nothing cuz then I get into the squirrely bad RSD place where 00:18:28.268 --> 00:18:30.813 like, and, and I think that you and I weren't doing it to each other. 00:18:30.813 --> 00:18:32.403 Like we were both having a reaction. 00:18:32.408 --> 00:18:34.923 I'm like, how do I show Matt that I'm not mad at him, but also 00:18:34.923 --> 00:18:36.243 have the appropriate emotions? 00:18:36.813 --> 00:18:41.343 And then, and this is constructive feedback as far as like in session, 00:18:41.343 --> 00:18:44.223 what I'm curious about how to signal for the next part goes. 00:18:44.223 --> 00:18:48.333 Death can be a, a poetic thing, right? 00:18:48.783 --> 00:18:49.203 Matt: Mm-hmm. 00:18:49.493 --> 00:18:52.983 Alison: But I wish in game there could have been, when Chimerical's 00:18:53.003 --> 00:18:55.823 rounds came up, storytelling there. 00:18:55.823 --> 00:18:57.233 Like, what was I experiencing? 00:18:57.233 --> 00:18:59.088 What memories? 00:18:59.118 --> 00:19:03.798 You know, like that was one thing when we played, and Evan and my characters died. 00:19:04.248 --> 00:19:05.628 It's just a recurring thing. 00:19:05.968 --> 00:19:07.313 What did we do in death? 00:19:07.313 --> 00:19:09.383 What were the first memories that came? 00:19:09.873 --> 00:19:12.843 But I guess my question to you is in the heat of the moment, right? 00:19:13.313 --> 00:19:13.603 Matt: Yeah. 00:19:13.837 --> 00:19:17.827 Alison: What is the non-aggressive non, I think you're doing this wrong 00:19:17.827 --> 00:19:18.817 cuz that's not what it was about. 00:19:18.867 --> 00:19:21.987 But like what for you would be a good way to get your attention 00:19:22.917 --> 00:19:24.267 to be like, Hey, look over here. 00:19:24.272 --> 00:19:26.787 Like there, there's a, there's a storytelling element that 00:19:26.787 --> 00:19:28.467 some of us are missing here. 00:19:29.487 --> 00:19:30.937 Matt: Well, uh, yes, I love it. 00:19:30.987 --> 00:19:34.337 Let's go back to the, the episode that we recorded, where we start 00:19:34.337 --> 00:19:35.777 talking about this and how we 00:19:35.872 --> 00:19:36.232 Alison: Mm-hmm. 00:19:36.232 --> 00:19:37.122 Matt: How can do this. 00:19:37.137 --> 00:19:42.017 And my first reaction would be simply just ask me. 00:19:42.017 --> 00:19:43.257 Alison: Mm-hmm. 00:19:43.673 --> 00:19:51.413 Matt: So the, complicated thing about this session was, number one, again, 00:19:51.473 --> 00:19:53.393 I'm saying, I don't know, it's so hard 00:19:53.393 --> 00:19:53.633 Alison: Yep. 00:19:53.813 --> 00:19:59.293 Matt: I just want so badly to get to the point where, what happened 00:19:59.593 --> 00:20:06.693 in game I could be better at, and I'm not, I'm not saying that to 00:20:06.693 --> 00:20:09.493 knock myself, it's pure experience, 00:20:10.218 --> 00:20:10.638 Alison: Mm-hmm. 00:20:11.363 --> 00:20:13.643 Matt: because I was juggling 00:20:13.713 --> 00:20:14.473 Alison: Yes. 00:20:14.713 --> 00:20:17.463 Matt: 50 non-player character enemies 00:20:18.273 --> 00:20:18.463 Alison: Mm-hmm. 00:20:18.533 --> 00:20:23.653 Matt: I was trying to clock where the players were going because I'm, I'm also 00:20:23.653 --> 00:20:25.653 trying to make an interesting combat 00:20:25.918 --> 00:20:26.338 Alison: Mm-hmm. 00:20:26.833 --> 00:20:31.013 Matt: and I felt like I was doing a better job of that because I was really trying 00:20:31.033 --> 00:20:34.733 to make them use their action economy. 00:20:34.763 --> 00:20:35.003 Alison: Mm-hmm. 00:20:35.003 --> 00:20:38.373 Matt: I trying to make them move more, which is all something 00:20:38.443 --> 00:20:40.493 also that I've just really hard. 00:20:41.043 --> 00:20:42.263 It's really hard me to do. 00:20:42.288 --> 00:20:42.708 Alison: Mm-hmm. 00:20:44.783 --> 00:20:47.603 Matt: I simply let it slip. 00:20:48.323 --> 00:20:52.038 But here's what you can do in the future. 00:20:52.388 --> 00:20:54.405 Just say, Hey, I'd like my turn. 00:20:56.395 --> 00:20:56.685 Yeah. 00:20:56.725 --> 00:20:58.675 I mean, just say, could, may I have my turn? 00:20:59.275 --> 00:21:06.145 Because after you died, I, I still had the entire combat go, but I would have 00:21:06.275 --> 00:21:08.378 loved to take that time and energy 00:21:08.403 --> 00:21:08.823 Alison: Mm-hmm. 00:21:09.498 --> 00:21:14.822 Matt: to say, oh, yeah, Chimerical, you're in a, you're in a field. 00:21:15.612 --> 00:21:17.022 It's your family's farm, 00:21:17.267 --> 00:21:17.687 Alison: Mm-hmm. 00:21:18.082 --> 00:21:23.445 Matt: and you have this deep, deep feeling of comfort and peace 00:21:23.910 --> 00:21:24.330 Alison: Mm-hmm. 00:21:25.345 --> 00:21:29.740 Matt: uh, A far cry from the way that you just died. 00:21:29.740 --> 00:21:29.830 Alison: Mm-hmm. 00:21:29.830 --> 00:21:32.850 Matt: And are heading to, you know, we can go full cliche, 00:21:32.910 --> 00:21:34.440 you are heading To the light. 00:21:35.130 --> 00:21:36.090 I would have loved, 00:21:36.190 --> 00:21:36.480 Alison: Okay. 00:21:37.310 --> 00:21:41.330 Matt: to stop and, and do that and give you the time that you deserve 00:21:41.330 --> 00:21:45.870 because you are 100% correct and I think there are bad ways of doing that. 00:21:45.910 --> 00:21:49.630 I think there are good ways of doing far as a player goes, but I know 00:21:49.690 --> 00:21:51.630 you would never do it in a bad way. 00:21:52.650 --> 00:21:58.110 So that, but but in my brain, because I'm juggling so much again, not an 00:21:58.110 --> 00:22:03.270 excuse, simply inexperience, but that's why I was saying why, what I, 00:22:03.470 --> 00:22:06.950 I want to give my friend something to do cuz she's just sitting around now. 00:22:07.070 --> 00:22:07.910 Her character is dead. 00:22:08.070 --> 00:22:08.470 I want, 00:22:08.550 --> 00:22:08.970 Alison: Mm-hmm. 00:22:10.010 --> 00:22:11.750 Matt: Fitz's character to heal her. 00:22:12.070 --> 00:22:13.510 I want her to come back to life. 00:22:13.710 --> 00:22:15.160 I don't want this to be happening. 00:22:15.160 --> 00:22:15.340 Alison: Yeah. 00:22:15.940 --> 00:22:20.080 Matt: And yet I do want the stakes to be how I them up. 00:22:20.410 --> 00:22:23.380 And I do want to have this experience. 00:22:24.650 --> 00:22:28.810 Luckily for me it was an experience cuz we're making an entire podcast about it. 00:22:29.030 --> 00:22:29.760 And I love that. 00:22:30.130 --> 00:22:35.060 But yeah, I think that's what I would say is if anybody is 00:22:35.060 --> 00:22:38.817 in this situation, especially with someone who experiences RSD 00:22:38.842 --> 00:22:39.262 Alison: Mm-hmm. 00:22:40.387 --> 00:22:41.647 Matt: And you know this. 00:22:42.112 --> 00:22:47.572 As a Dungeon Master, Game Master, definitely try to remember that. 00:22:47.722 --> 00:22:48.142 Alison: Mm-hmm. 00:22:49.162 --> 00:22:52.652 Matt: Even if you have ADHD yourself, try to remember that and, and 00:22:52.652 --> 00:22:55.532 reach out to them, which I feel like normally I'm really good at. 00:22:56.432 --> 00:23:01.892 I'm, I do try sometimes to if anybody's too quiet, I try to like ask them 00:23:02.912 --> 00:23:03.202 Alison: Yeah. 00:23:03.352 --> 00:23:03.642 yeah, 00:23:04.122 --> 00:23:05.692 Matt: Yeah, I was just juggling too much. 00:23:05.872 --> 00:23:12.052 And if you are someone that is, is playing and, and experiencing 00:23:12.052 --> 00:23:17.152 that, certainly you, yourself would know you could ask me anything. 00:23:17.518 --> 00:23:26.065 And so I, I think that putting it back on you, only in that way, meaning, not 00:23:26.292 --> 00:23:32.808 not a passing the buck situation, but saying that is where the most beautiful, 00:23:33.162 --> 00:23:36.962 examples of playing this game can be. 00:23:37.892 --> 00:23:43.272 Where the players take up the story that I think I know the 00:23:43.272 --> 00:23:44.677 answer to because it's in my brain. 00:23:44.707 --> 00:23:47.637 Well, but it's also in your brain and it's in Evan's brain and 00:23:47.637 --> 00:23:48.957 Fitz's brain and Matt's brain. 00:23:49.007 --> 00:23:51.277 And it's, that's the beauty of it. 00:23:51.500 --> 00:23:52.085 Alison: I feel like 00:23:52.215 --> 00:23:52.965 Matt: just talked a lot 00:23:53.355 --> 00:23:54.380 Alison: No, and I loved it. 00:23:54.380 --> 00:23:59.030 That's, that was the spirit in which I wanted to have this conversation was like, 00:23:59.420 --> 00:24:01.400 what was going on in both of our heads. 00:24:02.225 --> 00:24:06.215 Because I think it was similar, like we were both having these like panic 00:24:06.215 --> 00:24:10.775 attacks about like, what is the other one thinking and how can I stay present? 00:24:12.245 --> 00:24:12.815 You know? 00:24:13.655 --> 00:24:16.595 That's where like, that's why I didn't speak up because what I didn't want 00:24:16.595 --> 00:24:18.245 to happen is I didn't want to come. 00:24:18.395 --> 00:24:21.486 I think I needed to hear you give that permission that I would never 00:24:21.491 --> 00:24:26.015 come from a place of trying to correct you, but like remind you. 00:24:26.015 --> 00:24:29.045 Because I think an another, uh, topic that we've tucked away that 00:24:29.045 --> 00:24:31.685 we have to talk about one day is apparently our mislabeling of 00:24:31.685 --> 00:24:33.425 the notion of object permanence. 00:24:33.605 --> 00:24:35.945 So whatever it is, the out of sight, out of mind. 00:24:35.945 --> 00:24:41.105 I think, and this is something I struggle so hard with as a DM, it's one of the 00:24:41.105 --> 00:24:42.875 reasons I think I don't love DMing. 00:24:43.085 --> 00:24:46.265 So when I tell you that trust, I see your struggle here. 00:24:46.325 --> 00:24:49.805 Please know that it is true when everybody's eyes are on you, when 00:24:49.810 --> 00:24:53.225 you are in charge, when you are running the thing you feel like. 00:24:53.820 --> 00:24:57.070 Matt: You gave quotes just then, you gave air quotes in charge, right? 00:24:57.360 --> 00:24:57.870 Alison: "In charge" 00:24:58.200 --> 00:25:00.130 You, you feel like all eyes are on you. 00:25:00.130 --> 00:25:03.760 You feel like you've gotta make all decisions in a split second. 00:25:04.000 --> 00:25:05.110 I feel that way. 00:25:05.170 --> 00:25:08.020 I don't feel that way about you, but I think we all do that, right? 00:25:08.040 --> 00:25:10.460 When you're performing, you're, you know, trying to like, get it right. 00:25:10.770 --> 00:25:13.680 You're trying to say the right things and find the right facial expressions 00:25:13.680 --> 00:25:16.440 and the right tone, and do the thing that's funny and entertaining, and 00:25:16.440 --> 00:25:21.030 you're like, your mind is just like worrying at a million miles an hour. 00:25:21.120 --> 00:25:25.080 Which is why I th that's why I find DMing so stressful, even though y'all have been 00:25:25.085 --> 00:25:27.661 nothing, nothing but supportive of me. 00:25:27.840 --> 00:25:31.170 And I know that if every single one of you knew that that was what was going on 00:25:31.170 --> 00:25:33.420 in my brain, you'd all say take a breath. 00:25:33.700 --> 00:25:38.245 Like, take a beat and, and, but, so then I, I would say the same thing to you. 00:25:38.245 --> 00:25:44.485 So how do we, and I had this thought too, you know, with Lindsay, with her 00:25:44.485 --> 00:25:47.125 profound deafness, she has cued speech. 00:25:47.555 --> 00:25:51.665 So what, in, in the realm of ADHD and neuro spiciness, what are the 00:25:51.665 --> 00:25:58.648 ways that we can like cue each other in a non shaming or invasive, way? 00:25:58.648 --> 00:26:02.000 Matt: That's Let, let, let me uh, maybe just a little more context 00:26:02.170 --> 00:26:07.680 about the, the Lindsay reference is that my wife is profoundly deaf and 00:26:07.680 --> 00:26:13.200 she reads lips incredibly well and she has had a cochlear implant for 10 00:26:13.200 --> 00:26:14.560 years, we discovered the other day. 00:26:14.890 --> 00:26:15.490 is not hearing. 00:26:15.910 --> 00:26:20.010 For those of you who don't know, it's, it's a, it is a hearing help, 00:26:20.190 --> 00:26:21.680 but she's not a hearing person. 00:26:22.178 --> 00:26:27.028 When she grew up, she learned a system called cued speech that 00:26:27.488 --> 00:26:34.428 allows you to phonetically spell with hand shapes, sounds of all types. 00:26:35.832 --> 00:26:39.782 So, what you're referencing is the times that I say something to Lindsay 00:26:40.162 --> 00:26:43.342 and she doesn't understand me, she can't read my lips, she can't hear me. 00:26:44.787 --> 00:26:52.027 I then have this cueing to fall back on to help her on another 00:26:52.027 --> 00:26:53.817 level to understand what I'm saying. 00:26:54.057 --> 00:26:54.237 Alison: Mm-hmm. 00:26:54.307 --> 00:26:55.387 Matt: That's what you're referencing 00:26:55.497 --> 00:26:58.977 Alison: And even I, I remember it wasn't too long ago, she put up a, like a 00:26:58.977 --> 00:27:04.797 Facebook status talking about in her world, physically touching her is great. 00:27:05.247 --> 00:27:08.967 You have to, cuz you have no other way espe and, but like stranger danger, right? 00:27:08.972 --> 00:27:10.947 Like we don't put our hands on people we don't know. 00:27:10.947 --> 00:27:15.537 So it's very rude and she didn't realize that tapping somebody on the shoulder 00:27:15.597 --> 00:27:19.557 to people who hear is considered rude. 00:27:19.557 --> 00:27:21.777 And so she tapped somebody on the shoulder to get their attention 00:27:21.777 --> 00:27:24.807 because that's how she expects we'll all get her attention and they gave 00:27:24.807 --> 00:27:27.267 her this, you know, how dare you. 00:27:27.447 --> 00:27:31.198 Um, and so I, I think about that in the lens of any disability, right? 00:27:31.203 --> 00:27:35.547 Like what is our version of tapping on the shoulder that others may perceive 00:27:35.547 --> 00:27:41.157 as rude, that is anything but to get our attention back into the space. 00:27:41.827 --> 00:27:44.497 And so tho those were the things that were going through my mind of like, 00:27:44.677 --> 00:27:48.697 how do I get Matt's attention out here that like, you don't have to rush this. 00:27:48.697 --> 00:27:50.047 We don't have to resolve this today. 00:27:50.047 --> 00:27:51.277 We only have three hours. 00:27:51.332 --> 00:27:55.352 Take a breath, take a, because I could, like you were, you were doing so 00:27:55.352 --> 00:27:58.442 much, Matt, so much like the thing, I need everybody who listens to this to 00:27:58.442 --> 00:28:03.152 understand what it's like to play D&D with Matt as your DM, is that everything 00:28:03.152 --> 00:28:04.532 he is doing, he is doing for us. 00:28:04.532 --> 00:28:07.712 You were trying to give us the best audio experience with music, and 00:28:07.712 --> 00:28:10.712 you're trying to give us a visual experience with our virtual tabletop, 00:28:10.742 --> 00:28:14.672 and you're trying to give us, you know, elevate our characters again, 00:28:14.672 --> 00:28:15.662 to have those stakes in the meeting. 00:28:15.662 --> 00:28:19.915 And you're trying to give us real villains and you're, you're feeding us constantly, 00:28:19.920 --> 00:28:21.225 like all these different things. 00:28:21.665 --> 00:28:25.135 So of course when you're doing all of that, you can't like stop and like, 00:28:25.165 --> 00:28:26.276 but how does Alison feel right now? 00:28:26.975 --> 00:28:30.685 Um, and that's not the point is to make you stop and think, how does Alison feel? 00:28:30.685 --> 00:28:35.785 But like, in a situation like that, what is our cue for you to be like, over here? 00:28:36.180 --> 00:28:38.960 Matt: I think that, I should do that. 00:28:39.360 --> 00:28:40.400 I actually can do that. 00:28:40.500 --> 00:28:43.760 And that is, that is something that is really hard for me to learn, 00:28:43.760 --> 00:28:44.160 Mm-hmm. 00:28:44.190 --> 00:28:48.840 I think that's, that's a tough one, is I, I disagree. 00:28:48.960 --> 00:28:54.360 I think that I should be able to say, Hey, how are you Alison? 00:28:54.700 --> 00:28:55.280 How are you? 00:28:55.370 --> 00:28:56.030 How are you feeling? 00:28:56.345 --> 00:28:56.585 Alison: Mm-hmm. 00:28:57.810 --> 00:28:59.310 Matt: And, and again, experience. 00:28:59.993 --> 00:29:09.293 But until that time, until I get better at it, until I learn better, I, gosh. 00:29:09.815 --> 00:29:13.425 Because we're, we have to come up with something that's not just quote 00:29:13.425 --> 00:29:17.145 unquote inoffensive to me, but something that could be used for everybody. 00:29:17.725 --> 00:29:23.425 And that's a little tougher because you could just say, Hey, 00:29:24.675 --> 00:29:24.965 Alison: Yeah. 00:29:25.278 --> 00:29:25.968 Matt: This is my feeling. 00:29:26.365 --> 00:29:29.873 Alison: Well, this is following the, the trail that we started blazing 00:29:29.873 --> 00:29:33.317 last week, those conversations that you have as a table are so vital. 00:29:33.317 --> 00:29:36.467 It's why we recommended things like discussing the X card 00:29:36.467 --> 00:29:37.907 and having a session zero. 00:29:38.927 --> 00:29:41.477 And I think that this can play out into our real lives and 00:29:41.477 --> 00:29:42.737 real relationships as well. 00:29:42.737 --> 00:29:42.738 Right? 00:29:42.743 --> 00:29:47.057 When you can in those calm moments, sit people down and say, Hey, you know, 00:29:47.477 --> 00:29:52.757 it's what you were saying last week about, um, if you know that you're the 00:29:52.757 --> 00:29:54.467 neuro spicy one at the table, right? 00:29:54.497 --> 00:29:58.577 It's okay to say, Hey, I'm neuro spicy and my particular flavor 00:29:58.577 --> 00:30:00.867 is impulsivity, and it's okay. 00:30:01.757 --> 00:30:03.857 I know, I know I do this, right. 00:30:03.857 --> 00:30:08.597 So it's okay if I am speaking too loud, interrupting too much, just to, you 00:30:08.597 --> 00:30:14.627 know, say, hey, like, let, let Evan talk, you know, or whatever that case is. 00:30:15.242 --> 00:30:20.842 Matt: I think it would be incredibly cool if we could think of something. 00:30:21.910 --> 00:30:23.980 Alison: Are we gonna try to do it live here today? 00:30:24.925 --> 00:30:25.215 Matt: Okay. 00:30:25.475 --> 00:30:28.765 Here's an example of something that, probably have said this before, but when 00:30:28.765 --> 00:30:34.205 I was in a rock band, and we were in a situation that we felt uncomfortable in, 00:30:35.605 --> 00:30:42.720 we found a way to work the word Shamu into a conversation with that person. 00:30:43.690 --> 00:30:48.546 Where, if any of the band members felt awkward, and you cannot overuse it. 00:30:48.606 --> 00:30:49.886 You, cannot use it lightly. 00:30:49.946 --> 00:30:52.466 It was was an extreme and it was serious. 00:30:52.466 --> 00:30:52.576 Alison: Mm-hmm. 00:30:52.596 --> 00:30:55.606 Matt: And we would find a way to talk about Florida and Shamu. 00:30:56.306 --> 00:31:01.926 And we would do it, you know, so that another member or, or the, the manager 00:31:01.976 --> 00:31:07.126 could hear, and he knew, I'm gonna sweep in and I'm going to, but it 00:31:07.126 --> 00:31:09.416 wasn't, it wasn't offensive to a fan. 00:31:09.536 --> 00:31:09.746 Alison: Mm-hmm. 00:31:09.746 --> 00:31:12.886 Matt: It you know, we weren't trying to hurt anyone's feelings. 00:31:13.166 --> 00:31:13.276 Alison: Mm-hmm. 00:31:13.346 --> 00:31:15.486 Matt: Uh, and we were saved. 00:31:15.671 --> 00:31:16.091 Mm-hmm. 00:31:16.886 --> 00:31:19.326 I think it'd be super fun to come up with 00:31:19.511 --> 00:31:20.651 Alison: With our safe word. 00:31:20.651 --> 00:31:20.741 Yeah. 00:31:22.031 --> 00:31:26.171 Matt: but a saying that is fun and light, and it would just say, yep, okay, great. 00:31:26.191 --> 00:31:32.611 Taking a breath, taking back doesn't even have to be any kind of major thing. 00:31:32.921 --> 00:31:35.611 Just like a check it and go. 00:31:37.281 --> 00:31:38.731 Because I agree with you. 00:31:38.821 --> 00:31:39.171 Right? 00:31:39.171 --> 00:31:42.331 Because I agree with you and it's something that I want to get better at. 00:31:43.731 --> 00:31:44.951 So what is it? 00:31:45.051 --> 00:31:47.231 Do we want, are we doing it right this minute or are we, 00:31:48.451 --> 00:31:49.461 Alison: Draxx. 00:31:49.801 --> 00:31:50.321 Them. 00:31:50.321 --> 00:31:52.491 Sklounst. 00:31:52.516 --> 00:31:54.016 No, we say that too often. 00:31:54.016 --> 00:31:55.476 It can't be that cause. 00:31:56.171 --> 00:31:56.871 Matt: It can't be that. 00:31:57.201 --> 00:31:58.761 Alison: Um, all right. 00:31:58.766 --> 00:32:01.581 What's our, what's our, I don't know. 00:32:01.821 --> 00:32:02.541 We'll have to think of it. 00:32:02.546 --> 00:32:03.981 We might not be able to come up with this. 00:32:04.496 --> 00:32:06.756 Matt: But I, I think that this is a really cool thing, and I 00:32:06.756 --> 00:32:08.676 think that systems like this, 00:32:08.901 --> 00:32:09.221 Alison: Mm-hmm. 00:32:09.526 --> 00:32:14.936 Matt: When approached in a, in a very open manner 00:32:15.361 --> 00:32:15.781 Alison: Mm-hmm. 00:32:16.143 --> 00:32:17.543 Matt: That does help 00:32:18.213 --> 00:32:18.703 Alison: Mm-hmm. 00:32:19.033 --> 00:32:19.673 Matt: parties 00:32:19.673 --> 00:32:19.873 Alison: Yep. 00:32:20.733 --> 00:32:21.433 Matt: is fantastic. 00:32:21.778 --> 00:32:21.988 Alison: Mm-hmm. 00:32:22.573 --> 00:32:26.633 Matt: And I think if you add an element of fun to it, then it, 00:32:26.773 --> 00:32:29.263 it, it can remove the RSD element 00:32:29.263 --> 00:32:29.793 Alison: Yes. 00:32:29.833 --> 00:32:34.086 Matt: for people who have, who are on the autism spectrum or, or ADHD. 00:32:34.146 --> 00:32:35.846 You could remove that if it's fun. 00:32:35.846 --> 00:32:38.246 You're like, uh, yeah, yeah, they mean it in this fun. 00:32:38.441 --> 00:32:38.961 Alison: Mm-hmm. 00:32:39.331 --> 00:32:42.886 Matt: Much like Lindsay's cueing, much like Shamu. 00:32:43.046 --> 00:32:46.761 Alison: I think all these were supremely helpful and I just, I think that, you 00:32:46.766 --> 00:32:51.575 know, at the end of the day, it's all about, I get to, in my head sometimes to 00:32:51.575 --> 00:32:53.855 worry, and that's the RSD speaking, right? 00:32:53.855 --> 00:32:55.205 Too worried. 00:32:55.565 --> 00:32:57.995 Am I not going at the pace that's enjoyable for everybody? 00:32:57.995 --> 00:33:01.265 Am I, you know, not creating this, that, and it's just a reminder that like the 00:33:01.265 --> 00:33:04.325 best games are the ones that we're fully present in just a call to presence. 00:33:04.325 --> 00:33:07.015 Like, don't worry about all of those different things. 00:33:07.595 --> 00:33:10.385 And that was my biggest curiosity of like, how could I have 00:33:10.385 --> 00:33:13.415 helped us be more in the moment. 00:33:13.536 --> 00:33:13.826 Matt: Yeah. 00:33:13.946 --> 00:33:15.306 I love that you were wondering about that. 00:33:15.426 --> 00:33:16.346 I love the question. 00:33:16.506 --> 00:33:22.086 I love bringing me to task, but not in a way that made me feel 00:33:22.086 --> 00:33:23.006 like you were bringing me to task. 00:33:23.026 --> 00:33:26.083 But you, I mean, you weren't, you weren't, you were just were saying your truth, 00:33:26.123 --> 00:33:31.323 speaking the truths, and I, I think it did actually, it was a perfect timing. 00:33:31.383 --> 00:33:34.083 And now I understand why you wanted to kind of talk about it today. 00:33:34.953 --> 00:33:38.763 Both because we're, the game is fresh in our heads, but also the podcast was, 00:33:38.878 --> 00:33:39.318 Alison: Yeah. 00:33:39.318 --> 00:33:39.498 Yep. 00:33:39.498 --> 00:33:43.243 Matt: This is kind of like a part two of 00:33:43.498 --> 00:33:45.288 Alison: I promise we didn't do this on purpose. 00:33:45.318 --> 00:33:47.093 Matt: We didn't, though we didn't, we really 00:33:47.308 --> 00:33:49.948 Alison: I just realized it fit in so beautifully that we talked about how 00:33:49.953 --> 00:33:54.538 we'd like to, to, you know, Sunday was a very high emotional, high stakes day. 00:33:54.658 --> 00:33:58.378 Um, and it wouldn't have served us if I had come in swinging at 00:33:58.383 --> 00:34:00.148 you, you know, immediately after. 00:34:00.598 --> 00:34:04.618 Um, you know, cause then I was wrapped up in the emotion of, of my character dying. 00:34:04.738 --> 00:34:09.838 And let me just say, at no point, I, I, I knew, I knew you 00:34:09.838 --> 00:34:10.868 were pulling for Chimerical. 00:34:10.888 --> 00:34:11.248 Okay. 00:34:11.998 --> 00:34:13.018 I knew, I knew you were. 00:34:13.228 --> 00:34:15.479 There was no, there was no, like, he's trying to kill me, 00:34:15.778 --> 00:34:17.518 but it was still like, oh. 00:34:17.923 --> 00:34:18.213 Matt: Yeah. 00:34:18.898 --> 00:34:21.718 Alison: That doesn't, that does not make the worry of like, what if I 00:34:21.718 --> 00:34:23.548 have to let her go before I'm ready? 00:34:25.048 --> 00:34:26.578 Uh, subside any faster. 00:34:27.353 --> 00:34:28.173 Matt: No, I love it. 00:34:28.253 --> 00:34:28.813 I love it. 00:34:28.813 --> 00:34:34.213 And, and it's another example in, in real time basically, of how 00:34:34.553 --> 00:34:40.293 people can get so attached to these characters that you, that you become, 00:34:40.293 --> 00:34:41.613 that you inhabit in your brain. 00:34:42.033 --> 00:34:45.013 And phew, as I say, almost every podcast. 00:34:45.723 --> 00:34:46.253 Love that. 00:34:47.158 --> 00:34:47.718 Alison: I love that. 00:34:49.488 --> 00:34:49.978 Matt: Amazing. 00:34:50.158 --> 00:34:51.598 Alison: I love that journey for us. 00:34:52.078 --> 00:34:53.968 I love the journey for all of us. 00:34:53.968 --> 00:34:54.898 Matt: Love that journey for us. 00:34:55.118 --> 00:34:57.308 Alison: Can I be super snobby for a second? 00:34:57.378 --> 00:34:59.198 It's my turn to be snobby about something? 00:34:59.958 --> 00:35:00.778 Um. 00:35:01.658 --> 00:35:06.828 If you are not playing with people again in life and in game, that you can 00:35:06.828 --> 00:35:08.778 have this level of a discussion with? 00:35:09.528 --> 00:35:10.578 Get better friends. 00:35:11.478 --> 00:35:12.308 Matt: Get better friends. 00:35:12.378 --> 00:35:16.158 Alison: I, I like, I mean, that's been the beauty of, you know, you Evan Fitz, 00:35:16.158 --> 00:35:21.138 Matt Williams, you know, like everybody in my life now is that I can like, sit down 00:35:21.718 --> 00:35:22.008 Matt: Yeah. 00:35:22.428 --> 00:35:26.508 Alison: and have these real conversations with and say, this is how I felt 00:35:26.508 --> 00:35:31.518 about that without, I mean, y'all don't trigger my RSD I, I shared that. 00:35:31.518 --> 00:35:35.568 I, I used to live in this just constant state of nervous energy of what does the 00:35:35.568 --> 00:35:37.248 world think about me and why is it hate? 00:35:37.308 --> 00:35:40.908 And, and I just don't feel that way anymore because of y'all, so. 00:35:41.663 --> 00:35:45.983 Matt: Do you know why that you know why you're enjoying Ted Lasso? 00:35:46.453 --> 00:35:47.173 Alison: Mmm.. 00:35:47.173 --> 00:35:51.883 Matt: You're opening yourself up to trust, you have people now that you trust. 00:35:51.883 --> 00:35:52.133 Alison: Mm-hmm. 00:35:52.133 --> 00:35:53.563 Matt: And you trust that they won't hurt you. 00:35:53.919 --> 00:35:58.289 You are now surrounding yourself with better and better people 00:35:58.689 --> 00:36:03.569 that are worthy of your trust, and you're like, okay, well, damn it. 00:36:03.669 --> 00:36:04.129 If they, 00:36:04.664 --> 00:36:05.084 Alison: Mm-hmm. 00:36:05.839 --> 00:36:07.009 Matt: I'll give it another try. 00:36:07.179 --> 00:36:07.839 It's still you. 00:36:07.839 --> 00:36:13.565 It's still your feelings and your personality, but I love it. 00:36:13.995 --> 00:36:18.285 Alison: All right, so we just connected the dots between our d100 roles between 00:36:18.285 --> 00:36:22.815 the game that we love, between the neuro diversion that is our brain... 00:36:22.820 --> 00:36:24.685 neurodiversity, neurodivergentness... 00:36:24.754 --> 00:36:24.974 Matt: Yes. 00:36:25.134 --> 00:36:26.424 Alison: We connected all the dots today. 00:36:26.904 --> 00:36:27.534 Matt: Let's do it. 00:36:27.534 --> 00:36:30.134 Alison: Well, Matt, thank you for coming on my podcast. 00:36:30.754 --> 00:36:32.104 Matt: Thank you for coming on my 00:36:32.304 --> 00:36:35.304 Alison: Thank you for, for standing in front of the Firing Squad. 00:36:35.334 --> 00:36:37.134 Thank you for coming to the principal's office. 00:36:37.939 --> 00:36:39.369 Matt: She's a pretty cool principal. 00:36:39.499 --> 00:36:42.769 Alison: Remember, you can't spell principal without pal. 00:36:43.476 --> 00:36:43.996 Matt: good podcast 00:36:44.201 --> 00:36:45.701 Alison: Good, good podcasting. 00:36:48.604 --> 00:36:51.805 Matt: Thank you for listening and being a part of our ADHd20 family. 00:36:52.075 --> 00:36:55.462 If you're looking for more, we'd love to see you in our public Discord server. 00:36:55.462 --> 00:36:59.855 Look for the link in our show notes and come join the chatter about all things 00:36:59.855 --> 00:37:06.723 TTRPG and ADHD, but also TV, music, pretty much anything on our minds. 00:37:06.850 --> 00:37:10.204 Alison: We also have a Patreon where you can get access to bonus content 00:37:10.304 --> 00:37:14.204 and outtakes, be the first to hear new episodes, join us for live streamed 00:37:14.204 --> 00:37:19.219 recording sessions, and even play Dungeons and Dragons with us and our friends. 00:37:19.253 --> 00:37:22.873 Matt: The best way you can help us though, is just to share this podcast 00:37:23.063 --> 00:37:25.113 with people you think will like it. 00:37:25.133 --> 00:37:26.323 Alison: Thank you for being a pal! 00:37:26.463 --> 00:37:31.123 To us as people, to ADHd20 the podcast, and to the greater Bivins Brothers 00:37:31.363 --> 00:37:32.989 Creative Commonwealth of Nerds.