1 00:00:53,039 --> 00:00:57,920 SPEAKER_01: So for anybody who is brand new to our 2 00:00:57,920 --> 00:01:02,159 conversations, our uh our podcast, this one's gonna be a 3 00:01:02,159 --> 00:01:06,719 little bit different than the ones uh in the past. 4 00:01:07,359 --> 00:01:12,879 Um very excited because not only is Laura with me, but I have my 5 00:01:12,879 --> 00:01:14,400 parents with me as well. 6 00:01:14,719 --> 00:01:17,599 And so we're gonna be having a conversation between the four of 7 00:01:17,599 --> 00:01:18,959 us, which is kind of a stretch, right? 8 00:01:19,040 --> 00:01:23,439 We before we've done where we'll have one person call in or 9 00:01:23,760 --> 00:01:25,280 actually a video chat, right? 10 00:01:25,519 --> 00:01:28,000 And uh and we have our conversations that way. 11 00:01:28,159 --> 00:01:32,319 But now there's four people, right? 12 00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:34,640 So we're moving on up. 13 00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:36,239 No? 14 00:01:36,879 --> 00:01:37,920 And it's what huh? 15 00:01:38,159 --> 00:01:39,359 SPEAKER_03: I just dated myself, I suppose. 16 00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:40,480 SPEAKER_01: Right. 17 00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:42,159 So it's funny, it's funny you say that. 18 00:01:42,319 --> 00:01:47,040 Um so what's really cool about this too is that it's almost 19 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:50,400 like uh it is almost like a crossover episode. 20 00:01:50,799 --> 00:01:51,120 SPEAKER_03: Yeah. 21 00:01:51,519 --> 00:01:55,040 SPEAKER_01: Because you and I, we we do this thing and and we 22 00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:55,760 have a lot of fun. 23 00:01:55,840 --> 00:02:00,719 And then also, um, when we have time, uh, which seems to almost 24 00:02:00,719 --> 00:02:04,640 be never lately, um, my dad and I will we'll do a podcast 25 00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:08,800 together too that's uh you know focused on scripture and walking 26 00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:11,680 through uh different passages and talking about it and and 27 00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:13,919 kind of um expounding. 28 00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:16,159 Is that the right word? 29 00:02:16,319 --> 00:02:19,120 I believe you know, with all the education, what's that 30 00:02:19,439 --> 00:02:20,159 expressing? 31 00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:22,960 Expressing, you know, it you would think with all of the 32 00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:27,120 education um that I am in debt for, I would know words better 33 00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:27,919 than I do. 34 00:02:28,159 --> 00:02:30,000 But, you know, I digress. 35 00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:32,960 So anyway, yeah, so we're all kind of come together and we're 36 00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:39,599 gonna talk about something that um has kind of weighed heavy on 37 00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:48,000 on our hearts, um and looking at the the state of society, which 38 00:02:48,319 --> 00:02:51,680 putting it that way sounds pretty pretty huge, and it's 39 00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:53,680 like, well, how do you talk about something like that? 40 00:02:53,919 --> 00:02:57,199 I was looking just the other day, or actually even today too, 41 00:02:57,520 --> 00:03:00,960 and uh I try to stay away from the news. 42 00:03:01,199 --> 00:03:04,879 Like just get the little bits and pieces that I have to have 43 00:03:04,879 --> 00:03:08,080 to know what's going on in the world around me, uh, because it 44 00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:09,520 can be quite depressing. 45 00:03:09,759 --> 00:03:14,719 Uh-huh I was looking uh at um just in the last you know three 46 00:03:14,719 --> 00:03:18,400 months, there's been a handful of these mass shootings. 47 00:03:19,039 --> 00:03:24,639 Um you know, we we hear stories of there was the uh was it the 48 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:31,039 the politician whose house got torched up north? 49 00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:32,719 Was it in Minnesota? 50 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:35,520 SPEAKER_03: I don't know because I watched the news less than 51 00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:35,599 years. 52 00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:41,759 SPEAKER_01: And just like these horrible violent acts. 53 00:03:41,919 --> 00:03:46,879 There was uh, you know, Charlie Kirk and him being shot because 54 00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:52,639 somebody came to the conclusion that what this person is saying 55 00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:57,199 is so dangerous, my that these words are so dangerous to me 56 00:03:57,439 --> 00:03:59,759 that I need to act out in violence. 57 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:02,080 And then, of course, if you're listening to this, you may be 58 00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:04,159 wondering, well, what does that have to do with special 59 00:04:04,159 --> 00:04:04,960 education? 60 00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:09,199 Uh we see the same things in the schools around us. 61 00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:12,400 Um, I read a story, I don't remember when it was, it wasn't 62 00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:16,560 too long ago that we were talking, Laura, about a teacher 63 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:21,040 that had been arrested because let's see if I get this right. 64 00:04:21,279 --> 00:04:25,199 The student they were trying to get the student to eat, the 65 00:04:25,199 --> 00:04:30,480 student vomited, and they force fed the student his own vomit. 66 00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:31,759 Right? 67 00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:37,600 So there's these there's these stories of of uh these kids who 68 00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:43,120 don't necessarily have the ability to share what goes on in 69 00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:44,399 their classrooms. 70 00:04:44,720 --> 00:04:47,759 And so there's things that are taking place that we don't even 71 00:04:47,759 --> 00:04:48,399 know about. 72 00:04:48,959 --> 00:04:56,240 Um and while we would love to look at laws and we would love 73 00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:59,439 to look at authority, and we would love to look at all these 74 00:04:59,439 --> 00:05:04,959 different ways to minimize the suffering, the pain, the 75 00:05:04,959 --> 00:05:12,240 wrongdoing, um, I believe that we have to start with ourselves 76 00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:16,480 and ask the question: what happens when we become 77 00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:18,240 compassionate people? 78 00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:23,600 What happens when we begin to look at others in a way that 79 00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:28,959 isn't necessarily uh you know, looking at myself to see what do 80 00:05:28,959 --> 00:05:33,839 I think of me, but question myself as to how why do I view 81 00:05:33,839 --> 00:05:35,759 the people around me as I do? 82 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:39,600 What would cause that teacher to think it was a good idea to do 83 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:40,720 that to that student? 84 00:05:40,959 --> 00:05:43,360 What is it that would cause somebody to think it's a good 85 00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:48,319 idea for me to burn down somebody's house or to go to a 86 00:05:48,319 --> 00:05:51,600 homecoming and start shooting, or to walk into a church and 87 00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:52,160 start shooting? 88 00:05:52,319 --> 00:05:57,600 Like this is the next logical step in my life based on what I 89 00:05:57,600 --> 00:06:01,279 hear, what I see, and uh what I feel. 90 00:06:03,040 --> 00:06:06,240 SPEAKER_03: I know I've heard both you and your dad, and we've 91 00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:08,959 had conversations, people don't just wake up one day and that 92 00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:11,120 and that's the choice they make. 93 00:06:11,439 --> 00:06:16,000 It there's things leading up to that act. 94 00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:19,680 It's not just one day they wake up and say, Hey, I think I'm 95 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:20,319 gonna do this. 96 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:25,519 And so it makes you wonder that where at what point in their 97 00:06:25,519 --> 00:06:29,040 life could a compassionate individual have changed that 98 00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:29,759 trajectory. 99 00:06:30,079 --> 00:06:31,279 What happened to them? 100 00:06:32,319 --> 00:06:34,879 SPEAKER_01: And so what we're gonna do is we are gonna have a 101 00:06:34,879 --> 00:06:38,959 conversation between the four of us, and we're gonna talk about 102 00:06:41,759 --> 00:06:44,480 we're gonna talk about how how we how we deal with that. 103 00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:46,240 This is gonna be a different episode. 104 00:06:46,560 --> 00:06:53,279 And so uh I think I think people need to hold on, um prepare to 105 00:06:53,279 --> 00:06:54,560 be uncomfortable. 106 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:59,680 Uh but we ask that you just at the very least listen to what is 107 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:02,639 said and consider the things that are shared. 108 00:07:02,879 --> 00:07:06,560 So, first things first, what is compassion? 109 00:07:07,519 --> 00:07:08,879 Y'all want to go ahead and answer that? 110 00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:10,399 What is compassion? 111 00:07:11,279 --> 00:07:12,480 We can make it up if we want. 112 00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:15,600 SPEAKER_03: The definition of compassion is not only 113 00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:20,480 recognizing another um individual's suffering, but also 114 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:25,519 having a desire to do something about it, to alleviate it. 115 00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:30,480 SPEAKER_01: So, um, like I said, I've got I've got my parents 116 00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:32,480 here with me, and I'm very excited about this. 117 00:07:32,879 --> 00:07:34,000 SPEAKER_02: We're excited to be here. 118 00:07:34,319 --> 00:07:34,720 Yeah. 119 00:07:34,879 --> 00:07:36,959 SPEAKER_00: Well, yeah, I'm sorry. 120 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:41,120 I I get my mind going, I forget whether but I think it's it's 121 00:07:41,199 --> 00:07:45,759 it's a desire to live alleviate it, but it's also uh taking the 122 00:07:45,759 --> 00:07:51,120 action to the best of your ability to begin that um that 123 00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:54,160 healing or that help or whatever that person may need. 124 00:07:54,319 --> 00:07:57,680 So I think it goes a little bit more than a desire or a feeling, 125 00:07:57,759 --> 00:08:00,240 and you're we're gonna talk about like sympathy and empathy 126 00:08:00,319 --> 00:08:01,120 and all of that. 127 00:08:01,519 --> 00:08:06,000 But it's it's it's working back to show compassion, you may not 128 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:06,560 feel like it. 129 00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:11,199 You know, you do it because you're driven to do it. 130 00:08:11,439 --> 00:08:15,600 There's something inside of you that compels you to say, I can't 131 00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:18,959 let this pain and this person's life persist. 132 00:08:19,439 --> 00:08:25,600 And um so I I think it's it's an action and it's uh uh it's 133 00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:27,920 saying, okay, you know, what is my plan? 134 00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:30,879 Because I love these people so much. 135 00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:34,240 And I even know Jesus in Matthew chapter nine, he looks over 136 00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:34,960 Jerusalem. 137 00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:38,080 He says they're like they're like sheep without a shepherd. 138 00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:40,320 And the scripture says he had compassion. 139 00:08:40,399 --> 00:08:42,240 He he cried, he wept. 140 00:08:42,399 --> 00:08:43,600 You know, what makes you cry? 141 00:08:43,759 --> 00:08:46,720 What makes what makes you say I can't sleep at night because 142 00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:49,840 I've got to do something because I care so much. 143 00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:54,399 SPEAKER_01: And and that is an important um differentiation 144 00:08:54,399 --> 00:08:57,279 there between sympathy and empathy, right? 145 00:08:57,360 --> 00:09:00,480 Sympathy we know uh means we we look at others that are 146 00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:02,159 suffering and we feel bad for them. 147 00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:03,279 And that's a good thing. 148 00:09:03,440 --> 00:09:06,480 There's there's absolutely nothing wrong with sympathy. 149 00:09:06,639 --> 00:09:11,679 We can read in scripture where where sympathy is is something 150 00:09:11,679 --> 00:09:14,720 that is um is a godly characteristic. 151 00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:18,240 Empathy is a really hard one, though. 152 00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:21,919 Because empathy says I need to put myself in the shoes of 153 00:09:21,919 --> 00:09:22,399 others. 154 00:09:22,639 --> 00:09:25,919 Well, like we've already talked about though, that's really hard 155 00:09:25,919 --> 00:09:30,320 to do because mom, you you even just said it's we all experience 156 00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:31,360 different things. 157 00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:34,559 We all we interact with different people. 158 00:09:35,039 --> 00:09:39,120 SPEAKER_02: I think it's I think it's impossible to know exactly 159 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:40,639 what people are going through. 160 00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:45,840 Even, you know, like it's I believe that when we go through 161 00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:50,799 a hurt that um as a follower of Jesus Christ, he wants me. 162 00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:54,639 If I if I go through that same hurt, I should share it with 163 00:09:54,639 --> 00:09:58,720 those that are going through that that same thing. 164 00:09:59,279 --> 00:10:03,360 But we're still two different people with different makeups 165 00:10:03,360 --> 00:10:06,320 and different strengths and different weeks and uh 166 00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:07,200 weaknesses. 167 00:10:07,360 --> 00:10:11,600 And um, there's no way we can really know what people are 168 00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:12,240 going through. 169 00:10:12,879 --> 00:10:14,399 SPEAKER_00: Even if it's similar, right? 170 00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:19,039 Even if you know if if somebody loses a child, well, they they 171 00:10:19,039 --> 00:10:23,759 lose a child, but the circumstances are different. 172 00:10:23,919 --> 00:10:28,159 So how they process that, how they feel about that, uh is 173 00:10:28,159 --> 00:10:28,639 different. 174 00:10:28,720 --> 00:10:31,120 So empathy, it's almost impossible. 175 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:32,960 SPEAKER_02: That's what I was thinking. 176 00:10:33,039 --> 00:10:34,000 It's really impossible. 177 00:10:34,559 --> 00:10:37,120 SPEAKER_00: You can say, you can say, well, that you know, we 178 00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:38,480 both went through some of the same things. 179 00:10:38,559 --> 00:10:41,440 So there's there's that empathetic kind of feeling, but 180 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:44,559 to really know what somebody else goes through is you know, 181 00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:47,039 only only God knows that, you know. 182 00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:47,519 SPEAKER_01: Right. 183 00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:52,399 So we can say in in just speaking on sympathy, empathy, 184 00:10:52,639 --> 00:10:56,320 and compassion from from the sympathy standpoint, that is 185 00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:57,120 something that we can do. 186 00:10:57,279 --> 00:11:01,440 We can we can and it's almost a natural when we can look at 187 00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:03,759 other people and and and hurt for where they are. 188 00:11:03,919 --> 00:11:07,759 And I we've um all of us actually have uh at different 189 00:11:07,759 --> 00:11:13,679 times had the opportunity to to go to Ethiopia and to and to 190 00:11:13,679 --> 00:11:18,000 spend time with the people there and and fantastic people, uh 191 00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:23,120 compassionate people, loving people, uh, but to see some of 192 00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:28,159 the the hardship that they go through, and it it moves you to 193 00:11:28,159 --> 00:11:31,200 the point of sometimes even tears. 194 00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:34,720 We can't empathize with that, right? 195 00:11:34,879 --> 00:11:35,919 Especially in our country. 196 00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:39,840 So, you know, it things we don't deal with in our country, we 197 00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:42,639 don't deal with starving people in our country. 198 00:11:42,879 --> 00:11:45,759 As a matter of fact, I I think it's fair to say it's kind of 199 00:11:45,759 --> 00:11:47,120 the up the opposite, right? 200 00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:49,679 We don't take care of ourselves very well because we stuff 201 00:11:49,759 --> 00:11:49,919 ourselves. 202 00:11:50,159 --> 00:11:54,080 We have an obesity problem, not right um and there's so there's 203 00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:57,039 no way for us to empathize with that. 204 00:11:57,200 --> 00:12:00,879 We can look at it, we can feel bad, we can't empathize with it, 205 00:12:00,960 --> 00:12:02,799 but what does compassion look like? 206 00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:03,200 Right? 207 00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:09,360 Compassion is that that that stirring in me that I have to, 208 00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:12,000 as you were saying, I have to respond to. 209 00:12:12,639 --> 00:12:16,559 And so for just for the sake of conversation, let's label these 210 00:12:16,559 --> 00:12:17,600 three in that way. 211 00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:22,159 Our sympathy is we can look at others and we can genuinely feel 212 00:12:22,159 --> 00:12:27,519 sorry, not being ridiculous and oh but can genuinely feel sorry. 213 00:12:27,759 --> 00:12:31,840 Empathy is like I said, almost impossible to do. 214 00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:36,799 But compassion compassion drives us to move. 215 00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:44,960 So what do we tether the decision to be compassionate to? 216 00:12:45,759 --> 00:12:48,000 Because there's some issues with this, right? 217 00:12:49,440 --> 00:12:55,919 If it's based on how I feel, compassion is subjective. 218 00:12:57,039 --> 00:12:59,759 Compassion happens when I feel like it. 219 00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:03,200 It's the actually the exact opposite of what you said. 220 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:06,879 So there has to be something objective. 221 00:13:07,039 --> 00:13:13,600 There has to be something that is more of an authority over me 222 00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:22,720 that requires me to submit to it for me to be compassionate. 223 00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:27,919 Now, can I can I have moments of compassion? 224 00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:33,840 Can I can I at times be moved based on that feeling to do 225 00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:34,080 something? 226 00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:34,960 Yes. 227 00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:40,799 But what does that look like when it is something that we 228 00:13:40,799 --> 00:13:43,919 want to be core in our lives? 229 00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:45,279 SPEAKER_00: How do we do that? 230 00:13:45,519 --> 00:13:49,519 I think it comes from a calling, which is a little bit different 231 00:13:49,519 --> 00:13:53,600 than uh, you know, every day I walk down the road, or I don't 232 00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:55,840 walk down the road, I may drive down the road. 233 00:13:56,240 --> 00:13:59,519 Walking, think about walking down the road, but I should. 234 00:13:59,679 --> 00:14:03,200 But uh drive, or I see people and I and I say to myself, you 235 00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:05,200 know, um, they that's sad. 236 00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:08,799 This person's hurting here, this person's hurting there, but 237 00:14:08,799 --> 00:14:11,519 there's really nothing I can do about that. 238 00:14:11,759 --> 00:14:15,200 So what happens is, you know, I I kind of that's a sympathy kind 239 00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:16,879 of thing, maybe even a little bit of an empathy. 240 00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:19,679 And uh, you know, I I've maybe been where they've been. 241 00:14:19,919 --> 00:14:24,879 However, compassion is birthed, I think, out of something that's 242 00:14:25,039 --> 00:14:27,840 uh that that's who you are, what you're called. 243 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:31,759 And and I can only attest to that personally in my life, I've 244 00:14:31,759 --> 00:14:36,159 been called to the gospel uh message to preach the gospel, 245 00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:41,759 and uh because I understand the incredible uh results and 246 00:14:41,759 --> 00:14:43,200 effects of the gospel. 247 00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:48,080 So so for me it's a calling, something that I have to do, I 248 00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:52,240 have to say, I have to, and uh and I think I think I don't 249 00:14:52,240 --> 00:14:57,279 think I think everybody's got some kind of a uh a calling to 250 00:14:57,279 --> 00:14:57,919 their life. 251 00:14:58,240 --> 00:15:02,159 They may not be a preacher of the gospel, but they God may put 252 00:15:02,159 --> 00:15:06,000 them in a situation where not only do they empathize a little, 253 00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:10,000 sympathize, but now they have this compassion where they can 254 00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:11,039 make a difference. 255 00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:15,840 That maybe I I can use my sister for an example, my sister Lori, 256 00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:20,799 uh, when my dad was dying, she uh attended to him, she took 257 00:15:20,799 --> 00:15:23,679 care of him, and she did everything she could to help 258 00:15:23,679 --> 00:15:23,840 him. 259 00:15:23,919 --> 00:15:28,159 And out of that birthed within her a compassion to care for 260 00:15:28,159 --> 00:15:28,399 people. 261 00:15:28,559 --> 00:15:33,840 And at 50 years old, she became a nurse and uh and cared for 262 00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:34,080 people. 263 00:15:34,159 --> 00:15:37,519 And and so something of that nature, maybe with your 264 00:15:37,519 --> 00:15:41,840 situation, of course, with with Xander, who um, you know, I 265 00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:45,360 remember when his diagnosis first came in, how difficult 266 00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:46,799 that was for you, Jared. 267 00:15:47,039 --> 00:15:51,039 And uh, but rather than uh being upset and wondering, what do I 268 00:15:51,039 --> 00:15:55,440 do, you you God developed in you and in Laura, because I've seen 269 00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:59,360 her deal with these kids, develop within you, and Xander 270 00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:01,840 especially, uh, a calling. 271 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,720 This is maybe something more than I do in my home. 272 00:16:04,879 --> 00:16:07,919 This is something I do with my, and in my home is my life, but I 273 00:16:07,919 --> 00:16:09,200 do with my life. 274 00:16:09,440 --> 00:16:16,000 And I think compassion uh on a long-scale uh long haul level is 275 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:19,759 something that we say, you know, this is just something I have to 276 00:16:19,759 --> 00:16:20,000 do. 277 00:16:20,159 --> 00:16:21,919 It's something within my heart. 278 00:16:22,080 --> 00:16:26,960 And it doesn't matter who uh insults me, it doesn't matter 279 00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:30,639 who makes fun of me, it doesn't matter who ridicules me. 280 00:16:30,879 --> 00:16:32,320 I've got to do this. 281 00:16:32,559 --> 00:16:36,399 Now it may not always go to that extreme, but but I think I think 282 00:16:36,399 --> 00:16:39,360 within everybody, you know, whatever your situation, 283 00:16:39,519 --> 00:16:43,120 whatever the situation maybe your child's in or or a friend 284 00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:46,960 of yours is in, God will, I think, place within you a kind 285 00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:50,080 of calling to help you exhibit compassion. 286 00:16:50,799 --> 00:16:52,240 SPEAKER_02: And often it's sacrificial. 287 00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:53,360 SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely. 288 00:16:53,519 --> 00:16:54,960 Yeah, quite often. 289 00:16:55,519 --> 00:16:58,320 Compassion is not because it makes it may make you feel good, 290 00:16:58,399 --> 00:16:59,759 but it's not about a feeling. 291 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:02,639 It's about, you know, you love your kids and you have 292 00:17:02,639 --> 00:17:04,160 compassion for your kids. 293 00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:07,119 And when they're sick at two in the morning, you don't may not 294 00:17:07,119 --> 00:17:08,400 feel like tending to them. 295 00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:09,440 SPEAKER_01: Absolutely not. 296 00:17:09,839 --> 00:17:14,240 SPEAKER_00: But the but the love for them and that you care about 297 00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:18,240 them, uh, you know, uh brings up the compassion in your heart and 298 00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:18,720 your soul. 299 00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:21,839 I'm gonna do whatever it takes to take care of them. 300 00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:25,279 SPEAKER_01: So it reminds me of a a a story years ago. 301 00:17:25,359 --> 00:17:30,079 I was working at a at a hotel and there's a a doctor staying 302 00:17:30,079 --> 00:17:34,319 there, and he was obviously very successful at what he did. 303 00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:37,279 And there was nobody else in the lobby, and we're just kind of 304 00:17:37,279 --> 00:17:42,079 hanging out, and and uh, and he asked me about what it was I was 305 00:17:42,079 --> 00:17:45,200 gonna do with my life, if I planned on staying in the 306 00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:48,240 hospitality industry, and uh and I told him, I said, no, I said 307 00:17:48,319 --> 00:17:50,799 it's it's fun sometimes, but I don't know. 308 00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:54,640 There it's just not anything that's gonna get me up in the 309 00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:56,799 morning and excited about doing. 310 00:17:56,960 --> 00:18:02,480 Uh, I don't I don't see for me that being super fulfilling. 311 00:18:02,559 --> 00:18:05,200 Now, for other people it may be, but I was like, I I've got to 312 00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:07,759 know that what I'm doing is making a bigger difference. 313 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:10,720 And in this particular setting, I don't feel that. 314 00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:14,000 And I had a doctor look at me and say, Yeah, I don't 315 00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:14,880 understand that. 316 00:18:16,319 --> 00:18:20,880 Like, how are you a doctor and not it's like, no, I you know, I 317 00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:25,200 I went to school and I make my money and that's what I did. 318 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:26,799 SPEAKER_00: Yeah. 319 00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:30,240 You know, and and watch nails rust kind of thing, you know, 320 00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:32,400 not really make an impact with my life. 321 00:18:32,559 --> 00:18:34,720 But but uh I think everybody, Jared. 322 00:18:34,799 --> 00:18:38,000 I I mean, I know preachers and teachers, and but I think 323 00:18:38,319 --> 00:18:41,839 parent, you know, God gives you, I think there's this kind of uh, 324 00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:45,519 you know, built-in calling to take care of and be 325 00:18:45,519 --> 00:18:46,640 compassionate for your kids. 326 00:18:46,799 --> 00:18:49,920 Now we when we read his stories or hear of horrible incidents 327 00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:53,599 where where parents you know kill their kids or uh that story 328 00:18:53,599 --> 00:18:57,039 some years ago where the the mom put the kids in the car and oh 329 00:18:57,119 --> 00:18:59,839 yeah and put them into uh somewhere in South Carolina into 330 00:18:59,839 --> 00:19:00,880 a lake and killed them. 331 00:19:01,039 --> 00:19:01,920 That's unusual. 332 00:19:02,079 --> 00:19:03,599 In fact, that is so bizarre. 333 00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:06,240 We we look at that and go, ah, that's crazy. 334 00:19:06,559 --> 00:19:09,680 But but to have that kind of compassion for your kids 335 00:19:09,759 --> 00:19:14,640 wherever they are, uh it goes beyond feelings, it goes beyond 336 00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:15,279 sympathy. 337 00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:20,000 There's sympathy and empathy, but it goes to, I've got to, you 338 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:23,440 know, I've got to do this because I love this person or 339 00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:24,720 these people so much. 340 00:19:25,119 --> 00:19:28,160 SPEAKER_01: So we've kind of touched on it, Laura, but like 341 00:19:28,319 --> 00:19:33,279 why why would you say, you know, if if I were that doctor and I 342 00:19:33,279 --> 00:19:37,759 was gonna ask you, why does compassion really matter? 343 00:19:39,279 --> 00:19:40,880 How would you respond to that? 344 00:19:44,319 --> 00:19:50,400 SPEAKER_03: I think that um I mean it matters in almost 345 00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:53,920 everything we do, like in in in people that we interact with and 346 00:19:53,920 --> 00:20:01,759 it in our um relationships, it is uh it matters in ourself. 347 00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:08,079 Uh it's if we are just doing whatever we want to do and 348 00:20:08,079 --> 00:20:14,799 everything's about me, then be a a shallow person and not have a 349 00:20:14,799 --> 00:20:17,119 whole lot of of personal growth. 350 00:20:17,279 --> 00:20:22,400 So um so it as far as being, I guess, a well-rounded 351 00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:23,119 individual. 352 00:20:23,359 --> 00:20:26,559 SPEAKER_01: Um I think I'm a pretty well-rounded individual. 353 00:20:27,759 --> 00:20:30,400 SPEAKER_03: Um but in yeah, and your relationships with others, 354 00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:34,880 and then it also impacts um the community that you live in. 355 00:20:35,039 --> 00:20:41,519 So not just your immediate relationships, but also the 356 00:20:41,519 --> 00:20:46,559 different areas in your life and different places that you um 357 00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:52,000 interact, and it can it impacts all of all of that. 358 00:20:56,799 --> 00:20:57,920 SPEAKER_01: Compassion. 359 00:20:58,480 --> 00:20:59,839 I like to say it that way. 360 00:21:00,079 --> 00:21:00,960 Compassion. 361 00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:04,480 SPEAKER_03: I like opera announcer, right? 362 00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:08,720 SPEAKER_01: So well it and it's one of those conversations that 363 00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:09,920 is kind of really strange. 364 00:21:10,079 --> 00:21:14,799 So uh uh there's this like constant battle inside of my 365 00:21:14,799 --> 00:21:21,680 head to where I um I have this issue, and and I'm sure 366 00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:24,319 everybody sitting around the table is gonna sh nod their head 367 00:21:24,319 --> 00:21:26,400 when I say this because they've all seen it. 368 00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:29,839 I really struggle with doing things just because somebody 369 00:21:29,839 --> 00:21:30,880 told me to. 370 00:21:31,440 --> 00:21:35,759 Like I I was that kid who, you know, it could be something as 371 00:21:35,759 --> 00:21:38,960 silly as you know, we get up in the morning and and mom says, 372 00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:41,039 Hey, remember today's your dad's birthday. 373 00:21:41,119 --> 00:21:42,559 Don't forget to tell him happy birthday. 374 00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:45,440 And I'm like, Well, I could have came up with that on my own. 375 00:21:45,599 --> 00:21:47,519 So I'm not gonna tell them right now. 376 00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:49,920 I'll wait and tell them when it's my idea. 377 00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:51,680 And then I would forget. 378 00:21:51,839 --> 00:21:52,079 Right? 379 00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:53,440 That that's that's me. 380 00:21:53,519 --> 00:21:57,359 That's how I'm that not saying it's right, and I work on it, 381 00:21:57,519 --> 00:21:59,039 but that's how I'm wired. 382 00:21:59,279 --> 00:22:03,359 SPEAKER_03: Um Which is why I like have to say, you know, you 383 00:22:03,359 --> 00:22:04,319 might want to consider. 384 00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:05,680 SPEAKER_01: You might want to consider. 385 00:22:05,839 --> 00:22:06,720 Here's an idea. 386 00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:09,839 If you would like to write this down, look at it later when 387 00:22:09,839 --> 00:22:12,720 you're on your own, and and and feel free to make whatever 388 00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:16,160 decision it is that you want to make, and it can be your idea. 389 00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:19,920 Uh the problem with that though is that does come from a uh it 390 00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:22,960 comes from a perspective of I'm in control. 391 00:22:23,599 --> 00:22:26,079 And and and there's this almost like a power struggle that 392 00:22:26,079 --> 00:22:32,640 happens in our lives where um you know we have to establish 393 00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:38,799 ourselves, we have to jockey for position, we have to um be in 394 00:22:38,799 --> 00:22:41,279 control of what is going on. 395 00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:45,759 And and it almost seems as we have this conversation, it's 396 00:22:45,759 --> 00:22:54,720 very difficult to be the the the master of your universe and be 397 00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:57,200 compassionate at the same time. 398 00:22:57,519 --> 00:22:57,920 SPEAKER_03: Absolutely. 399 00:22:58,160 --> 00:23:00,640 SPEAKER_01: Like it's one of those things that we cannot do. 400 00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:03,599 And so one of the things, you know, when we talk, of course, 401 00:23:03,759 --> 00:23:07,119 we look through the lens of of teachers working in special 402 00:23:07,119 --> 00:23:11,119 education and and you know, we learn how to say the right 403 00:23:11,119 --> 00:23:11,759 things. 404 00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:12,720 Right? 405 00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:15,920 We can say, we can when we're working with kids, we can say, 406 00:23:16,079 --> 00:23:20,799 Yes, I've I've I've had the training, I will not have a 407 00:23:20,799 --> 00:23:26,880 power struggle with this student because it's not most important 408 00:23:27,039 --> 00:23:30,720 that that I'm right or that I'm in control. 409 00:23:31,759 --> 00:23:35,359 I understand that what's most important is that this student 410 00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:38,799 can become the best student they can be. 411 00:23:39,599 --> 00:23:43,200 So I understand that there's not gonna be any power struggle. 412 00:23:43,599 --> 00:23:47,279 I understand that I'm gonna speak to them in a calm way. 413 00:23:47,759 --> 00:23:51,599 And I understand that when we walk down the hall, I'm gonna 414 00:23:51,599 --> 00:23:54,480 praise them and I'm gonna let them know that I'm so glad that 415 00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:59,119 they're walking down the hall in in in the right manner. 416 00:23:59,759 --> 00:24:04,720 And then life happens, and then that kid wants to be a stinker, 417 00:24:05,039 --> 00:24:08,720 and it's funny, like all of that just runs right out your ear. 418 00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:09,920 I said ear. 419 00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:11,839 It's okay, I didn't ear. 420 00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:12,559 E-A-R. 421 00:24:13,279 --> 00:24:14,880 Oh, you gave me a look. 422 00:24:15,119 --> 00:24:15,440 Sorry. 423 00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:17,759 Like I was talking about my butt. 424 00:24:19,039 --> 00:24:19,519 Sorry. 425 00:24:19,839 --> 00:24:21,440 See, I I've got problems. 426 00:24:21,599 --> 00:24:24,319 But anyway, back to what I was saying. 427 00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:26,880 SPEAKER_00: And we have compassion for you. 428 00:24:27,279 --> 00:24:27,839 SPEAKER_04: Yeah, thank you. 429 00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:30,400 SPEAKER_01: Yeah, uh yeah, I'm sure they do. 430 00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:32,079 They're about to move on that compassion. 431 00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:38,240 So if you hear me screaming or something, um but it again, it's 432 00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:42,160 real easy to say the right things, it's real easy to even 433 00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:46,240 know the right things, but it's different to do them. 434 00:24:47,279 --> 00:24:52,960 And so I I keep kind of going back to this question of how do 435 00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:53,759 we do that? 436 00:24:54,000 --> 00:25:02,880 How do how do I tie myself to a decision that doesn't feel what 437 00:25:03,279 --> 00:25:08,880 what do I do when this kid is spitting at me? 438 00:25:09,039 --> 00:25:10,480 I had this happen today. 439 00:25:11,759 --> 00:25:13,920 Kid wanted to go to the playground, it just wasn't time 440 00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:14,799 to go to the playground. 441 00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:17,920 He got mad, spit at me and kick me in the shin. 442 00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:19,519 Yeah. 443 00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:22,000 And I didn't even lose my mind. 444 00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:27,279 Because in that in that moment in time, I was being successful 445 00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:32,319 and being compassionate and knowing that me just being right 446 00:25:32,319 --> 00:25:34,640 and in control is not what's most important here. 447 00:25:35,599 --> 00:25:36,960 How do I do that in life? 448 00:25:37,119 --> 00:25:41,039 How do I do that when somebody can push my buttons, when 449 00:25:41,039 --> 00:25:45,599 somebody knows the exact thing to say to me to get me spun up, 450 00:25:45,839 --> 00:25:48,559 how do I stay compassionate with that person? 451 00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:50,799 SPEAKER_02: You protect your heart. 452 00:25:51,759 --> 00:25:55,519 You protect your heart because if you if your heart isn't 453 00:25:55,519 --> 00:25:57,440 right, you're not gonna have compassion. 454 00:25:57,680 --> 00:26:01,119 And if you don't have compassion, when a child throws 455 00:26:01,119 --> 00:26:05,680 up, it's not gonna be, oh, this poor kid, it's oh, you've made 456 00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:06,720 my life complicated. 457 00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:09,839 For me, and I'm gonna make you eat it, you know. 458 00:26:10,319 --> 00:26:12,960 And to me, it it's a heart thing. 459 00:26:13,279 --> 00:26:15,519 SPEAKER_03: I don't know how many piles of vomit you cleaned 460 00:26:15,519 --> 00:26:23,359 up when Xander was was um first eating foods, and was it easy? 461 00:26:23,440 --> 00:26:27,119 No, it wasn't easy because that little stinker would finish that 462 00:26:27,119 --> 00:26:30,880 whole bowl and look at us, turn his head, and right on the floor 463 00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:31,519 it went. 464 00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:33,680 Now, now did we start over? 465 00:26:33,839 --> 00:26:35,279 Yes, but with a new bowl. 466 00:26:35,519 --> 00:26:36,160 SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah. 467 00:26:36,799 --> 00:26:39,599 SPEAKER_03: That's and that's the was it hard? 468 00:26:39,839 --> 00:26:41,039 Yes, it was hard. 469 00:26:41,119 --> 00:26:43,519 There were tears and both. 470 00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:46,799 SPEAKER_02: And if your heart's not right and it's all about 471 00:26:46,799 --> 00:26:50,240 you, that that's not a that's not a good thing. 472 00:26:52,559 --> 00:26:52,880 SPEAKER_00: Right. 473 00:26:53,119 --> 00:26:59,279 Compassion cannot be about a selfish right what makes me feel 474 00:26:59,279 --> 00:27:03,599 good, or a lot of people get it go into different professions or 475 00:27:03,599 --> 00:27:08,400 vocations because of what they can do, not what they can give. 476 00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:10,559 And I guess I know this is true. 477 00:27:10,640 --> 00:27:14,160 I've I'm not taught, I've been with Xander a lot, but I haven't 478 00:27:14,319 --> 00:27:15,920 taught special needs kids. 479 00:27:16,079 --> 00:27:19,519 You have to say it's not about what I want or what I like or 480 00:27:19,519 --> 00:27:24,319 what I think, but it's about helping them to get what they 481 00:27:24,319 --> 00:27:24,640 need. 482 00:27:24,799 --> 00:27:30,559 And when that kind of um heart happens, when the hurling 483 00:27:30,799 --> 00:27:35,440 happens and when the difficulty happens, you you see past that. 484 00:27:35,599 --> 00:27:39,119 You see past yourself and you say, you know, I'm not gonna be 485 00:27:39,119 --> 00:27:41,839 about myself, even though I feel like being about myself. 486 00:27:42,079 --> 00:27:44,079 You know, like I feel like saying, I don't want to deal 487 00:27:44,079 --> 00:27:44,559 with this. 488 00:27:44,720 --> 00:27:48,960 Uh, but I say I deal with it anyway because that's what 489 00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:52,400 compassion is, caring for those who can't maybe can't care for 490 00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:53,119 themselves. 491 00:27:53,279 --> 00:27:55,359 SPEAKER_02: So wouldn't I get over? 492 00:27:55,599 --> 00:27:55,839 I'm sorry. 493 00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:56,400 No, go ahead. 494 00:27:56,640 --> 00:27:59,599 I still can't get over the doctor saying he can't 495 00:27:59,599 --> 00:28:01,920 understand the whole compassion thing. 496 00:28:02,079 --> 00:28:04,480 You would think, because most of the time you hear people going 497 00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:07,599 into the medical field because they have compassion. 498 00:28:07,839 --> 00:28:09,680 So that that's real weird to me. 499 00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:13,039 SPEAKER_00: Well, sometimes they go into their fields because of 500 00:28:13,039 --> 00:28:16,240 prestige or power or possession or money. 501 00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:20,319 So one that's why we went into special education. 502 00:28:20,559 --> 00:28:20,880 Yeah, I know. 503 00:28:21,599 --> 00:28:22,319 All three of those. 504 00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:25,599 SPEAKER_04: Yeah, you know, because you got a lot of power 505 00:28:25,599 --> 00:28:26,400 there, don't you? 506 00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:30,319 SPEAKER_01: That's and I think that like uh I can I can you 507 00:28:30,319 --> 00:28:33,759 know remember times thinking, why is my shoe getting wet 508 00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:35,920 looking down and there's a kid peeing on it? 509 00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:39,200 I'm like, this this is what I got, this is what I got all of 510 00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:40,799 that student loan debt for. 511 00:28:41,039 --> 00:28:43,440 But no, uh no, no, and I I I do love the kids. 512 00:28:43,519 --> 00:28:44,319 I'm being silly. 513 00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:46,319 I don't know if the kids ever pee on my shoe or not. 514 00:28:46,559 --> 00:28:47,279 It's very evident. 515 00:28:47,599 --> 00:28:48,720 Yeah, that's that's obvious. 516 00:28:49,519 --> 00:28:54,079 But something that that if I'm I say I say things like this all 517 00:28:54,079 --> 00:28:56,240 the time, something we talk about a lot. 518 00:28:56,799 --> 00:28:57,759 But we really do. 519 00:28:58,079 --> 00:29:02,880 Something that that that we've talked about a lot is how we 520 00:29:02,880 --> 00:29:06,400 only perceive the world through our eyes, right? 521 00:29:06,559 --> 00:29:12,400 From a from a psychological, from a physical, we are in the 522 00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:17,279 middle of our life and we are watching everybody else operate 523 00:29:17,440 --> 00:29:18,319 around us. 524 00:29:18,559 --> 00:29:22,079 And so it is incredibly easy for us to believe that we are the 525 00:29:22,079 --> 00:29:23,599 center of our universe, right? 526 00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:24,720 I mean, it makes sense. 527 00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:26,720 Not that it's right, but it makes sense. 528 00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:31,200 And so as we look around at the people around us, and we kind of 529 00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:35,279 alluded to it a little bit earlier, is that the way that 530 00:29:35,279 --> 00:29:39,039 I'm seeing the world around me has been shaped and molded 531 00:29:39,039 --> 00:29:42,799 through all of my experiences over the course of life, right? 532 00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:48,000 And my interactions with um my parents, my interactions with my 533 00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:51,359 siblings, my interactions with friends, with teachers, right? 534 00:29:51,519 --> 00:29:54,799 It all of my interactions in life shape and mold the way I 535 00:29:54,799 --> 00:29:55,759 look at the world. 536 00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:59,599 And if I leave it to that, that will be how I live my life. 537 00:30:01,759 --> 00:30:04,480 It's almost a reactionary lifestyle. 538 00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:08,079 I'm allowing everybody to to shape and form the way I look at 539 00:30:08,079 --> 00:30:09,200 the world around me. 540 00:30:09,279 --> 00:30:14,160 And it's very, very difficult for anybody to say, oh wow, this 541 00:30:14,160 --> 00:30:16,000 is the wrong way to see the world. 542 00:30:16,240 --> 00:30:18,640 I need I need that to change. 543 00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:24,480 So what if we're gonna have to wrap this thing up in a minute? 544 00:30:25,119 --> 00:30:30,000 What if somebody is listening, like I would say two of our 545 00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:33,279 listeners, but mom's here, so there's one other one out there. 546 00:30:34,559 --> 00:30:38,960 If that one listener says, you know what, there's I believe 547 00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:45,440 there's some truth to what this weird Curtis family is talking 548 00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:45,759 about. 549 00:30:46,720 --> 00:30:52,640 I recognize in my life that I am void of compassion. 550 00:30:52,799 --> 00:30:58,319 I may do some compassionate things on occasion, but my 551 00:30:58,319 --> 00:31:05,039 overall perspective when it comes to my job, my family, my 552 00:31:05,359 --> 00:31:06,079 whatever. 553 00:31:07,759 --> 00:31:13,680 My overall perspective is lacking compassion. 554 00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:16,799 What is it that I can do? 555 00:31:17,039 --> 00:31:19,599 How do I change who I am? 556 00:31:21,599 --> 00:31:25,200 How do I change the way I see the world? 557 00:31:25,359 --> 00:31:29,920 How do I change the way I view my family, my kids, my you know, 558 00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:32,880 I years ago I was a youth pastor, and I used to tell the 559 00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:37,519 kids that if you want to get an idea of the person that you're 560 00:31:37,519 --> 00:31:42,480 dating, if you want to get an idea how they would treat you in 561 00:31:42,720 --> 00:31:47,839 in a in a marriage relationship, watch your girlfriend and how 562 00:31:47,839 --> 00:31:49,839 she interacts with her dad. 563 00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:54,000 Watch your boyfriend and see how he interacts with his mom. 564 00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:56,799 Because what's happening is they're being taught how to view 565 00:31:56,799 --> 00:31:58,640 the world, and they're being taught how to view your 566 00:31:58,640 --> 00:32:02,880 relationship in that house, whether they're doing it on 567 00:32:02,880 --> 00:32:04,160 purpose or not, right? 568 00:32:04,240 --> 00:32:07,359 We're all being shaped, we're all being molded by our 569 00:32:07,359 --> 00:32:08,640 experiences. 570 00:32:10,480 --> 00:32:14,960 What if I'm somebody right now that says, I obviously am 571 00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:17,839 lacking compassion in my life? 572 00:32:18,079 --> 00:32:22,480 I'm lacking it in my relationships, I'm lacking it in 573 00:32:22,799 --> 00:32:27,519 my job, like I'm just viewing my job as a job, even talking about 574 00:32:27,519 --> 00:32:28,799 the the hotel. 575 00:32:29,039 --> 00:32:32,160 When I was working there, I could still be compassionate to 576 00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:32,720 those there. 577 00:32:32,880 --> 00:32:37,200 I could still in that setting put them as a high priority in 578 00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:41,200 my life to move and to care for and to help take care of them 579 00:32:41,200 --> 00:32:42,880 the best that I possibly can. 580 00:32:43,279 --> 00:32:48,000 How does somebody change who they are to be more 581 00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:49,119 compassionate? 582 00:32:50,559 --> 00:32:52,160 SPEAKER_00: You want me to preach? 583 00:32:54,720 --> 00:32:55,839 SPEAKER_03: You don't change who you are. 584 00:32:56,400 --> 00:32:57,279 SPEAKER_00: I'm open to an idea. 585 00:32:57,599 --> 00:33:00,559 I don't think you can change who I don't think only God can 586 00:33:00,559 --> 00:33:02,880 change who a person is. 587 00:33:03,119 --> 00:33:06,880 And uh and what you know, what the whole, and I'm a I'm a 588 00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:09,920 Christian, so I'm coming from that perspective. 589 00:33:10,240 --> 00:33:15,759 But the whole Christian life is about I think it begins, I think 590 00:33:15,759 --> 00:33:20,160 its foundation is humility, where I say humility is not 591 00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:23,599 thinking less of yourself, it's thinking more of others. 592 00:33:24,400 --> 00:33:28,079 Humility is not thinking less of yourself in a biblical sense, 593 00:33:28,160 --> 00:33:30,240 it's thinking more of Christ. 594 00:33:30,880 --> 00:33:34,799 And uh one of the one of the big scriptures that a lot of people 595 00:33:34,799 --> 00:33:40,160 don't like to use is a scripture that says, uh, deny yourself. 596 00:33:40,480 --> 00:33:44,319 And I'm you have you have uh you know personal growth 597 00:33:44,400 --> 00:33:46,960 relationships and community impact. 598 00:33:47,440 --> 00:33:51,200 Well, it all starts with denying yourself, not doing what feels 599 00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:54,559 good to me, not doing what I want to do, but with doing 600 00:33:54,559 --> 00:33:58,880 what's best for the people that I'm uh I'm around and that I 601 00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:01,839 have uh any kind of uh connection with. 602 00:34:02,079 --> 00:34:05,599 But in a real spiritual sense, it's saying, God, I want to put 603 00:34:05,599 --> 00:34:06,960 you first in my life. 604 00:34:07,200 --> 00:34:10,400 Because when we learn to put God first in our lives, something 605 00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:11,760 really amazing happens. 606 00:34:11,920 --> 00:34:15,360 We learn to put other people first in our lives. 607 00:34:15,679 --> 00:34:18,159 And uh and and it's an amazing thing. 608 00:34:18,320 --> 00:34:20,960 Jesus says you can't be my disciples unless you deny 609 00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:22,880 yourself, take up your cross and follow me. 610 00:34:23,119 --> 00:34:26,960 And I just did the message last week and we talked about uh uh 611 00:34:27,119 --> 00:34:30,719 Jesus and his children, and that when the children came to Jesus, 612 00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:33,119 the disciples said, No, you guys get away. 613 00:34:33,280 --> 00:34:34,480 He's he's too busy for you. 614 00:34:34,559 --> 00:34:38,719 And Jesus said, No, let the children come into me, for such 615 00:34:38,719 --> 00:34:40,239 is the kingdom of God. 616 00:34:40,639 --> 00:34:46,239 And so uh so that kind of compassion uh just runs out of 617 00:34:46,239 --> 00:34:49,599 you when you the closer you get to God, the more passionate get 618 00:34:49,760 --> 00:34:50,320 towards others. 619 00:34:50,719 --> 00:34:54,400 SPEAKER_02: We've seen so many people who were miserable 620 00:34:54,400 --> 00:34:58,159 because they didn't like who they they are, because they 621 00:34:58,159 --> 00:35:02,719 didn't have compassion or sympathy, and and we've seen 622 00:35:02,719 --> 00:35:08,559 them uh surrender their lives to Christ and become brand new 623 00:35:08,559 --> 00:35:11,920 people, you know, and that that's that's biblical, you 624 00:35:11,920 --> 00:35:12,159 know. 625 00:35:12,639 --> 00:35:16,719 You become a new person and um it's an amazing thing to watch. 626 00:35:17,039 --> 00:35:17,840 SPEAKER_00: That's the evidence. 627 00:35:18,239 --> 00:35:18,800 That's the evidence. 628 00:35:19,280 --> 00:35:21,599 SPEAKER_03: Left left to ourselves, we're just gonna end 629 00:35:21,599 --> 00:35:26,000 up on on autopilot and just going through the motions and 630 00:35:26,400 --> 00:35:29,280 going through, okay, this is what I have to do today. 631 00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:32,559 Today I have to do this and I have to do this and I have to do 632 00:35:32,559 --> 00:35:32,719 that. 633 00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:37,199 And when something gets in the way of us on this autopilot, 634 00:35:37,360 --> 00:35:41,119 that's when the things the hor those horrible things happen 635 00:35:41,840 --> 00:35:44,719 with like the story we're talking about with the child 636 00:35:44,719 --> 00:35:45,440 that vomited. 637 00:35:46,639 --> 00:35:48,400 Nope, okay, now you're in my way. 638 00:35:48,639 --> 00:35:51,679 Now like you said, Robin, they made it about them and then 639 00:35:51,760 --> 00:35:54,880 you've impacted my life, and so now I have to do something. 640 00:35:55,119 --> 00:36:03,519 But right when we have Jesus' to guide us, that's when we can see 641 00:36:03,519 --> 00:36:08,400 this child that is learning to eat and vomits, whether they're 642 00:36:09,199 --> 00:36:13,519 being a stinker and being defiant, or whether there is 643 00:36:13,519 --> 00:36:16,800 really something like, oh yeah, they don't like mashed potatoes. 644 00:36:17,280 --> 00:36:22,559 And you can take a step back and say, okay, why did this happen? 645 00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:27,519 SPEAKER_02: Not just there's a scripture that says that we need 646 00:36:27,519 --> 00:36:30,960 to protect our hearts because what's in there, it's gonna come 647 00:36:30,960 --> 00:36:31,119 out. 648 00:36:31,519 --> 00:36:36,000 And and I know from experience it's gonna come out at the worst 649 00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:37,119 time, you know. 650 00:36:37,360 --> 00:36:42,000 And um, so it's really important to protect our hearts because 651 00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:43,599 what's in there is gonna come out. 652 00:36:44,079 --> 00:36:46,480 SPEAKER_00: For sure, because compassion isn't automatic. 653 00:36:46,719 --> 00:36:47,039 SPEAKER_02: Right. 654 00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:50,320 SPEAKER_00: Compassion is developed, I think, as God 655 00:36:50,320 --> 00:36:53,760 places that inside of you, that he develops it through you. 656 00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:58,880 That's why a truly converted person who comes to Christ is 657 00:36:58,880 --> 00:37:01,119 one who will be a compassionate person. 658 00:37:01,679 --> 00:37:05,119 Uh you know, but people who play church or play religion, that 659 00:37:05,519 --> 00:37:08,559 you know, their their self-centerness is going to come 660 00:37:08,559 --> 00:37:08,800 out. 661 00:37:09,039 --> 00:37:13,840 But uh if we can learn to allow Christ to just live and grow and 662 00:37:13,840 --> 00:37:17,360 and thrive in us, the compassion will flow out of us. 663 00:37:17,599 --> 00:37:20,719 Not that we don't have to learn it and and grow in it and allow 664 00:37:20,719 --> 00:37:21,360 it to be developed. 665 00:37:23,760 --> 00:37:24,480 SPEAKER_01: It's a process. 666 00:37:24,960 --> 00:37:29,920 Just like just like us becoming adults or becoming who we are in 667 00:37:29,920 --> 00:37:30,239 life. 668 00:37:30,320 --> 00:37:32,079 It's that again, that process. 669 00:37:32,239 --> 00:37:35,760 There's things that are taking place, there's influences that 670 00:37:35,760 --> 00:37:36,400 are going on. 671 00:37:36,480 --> 00:37:41,679 And and and when your influence is the creator of the universe 672 00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:48,960 who specifically decided to make you um well it changes 673 00:37:48,960 --> 00:37:49,440 everything. 674 00:37:49,679 --> 00:37:50,880 It changes everything. 675 00:37:51,119 --> 00:37:53,840 Um I I can say this, and and we're gonna wrap up our 676 00:37:53,840 --> 00:37:54,480 conversation. 677 00:37:54,639 --> 00:37:57,280 This is one that we might have to get back together again on 678 00:37:57,280 --> 00:37:57,599 this one. 679 00:37:57,920 --> 00:37:58,719 We got a lot to cover. 680 00:38:00,320 --> 00:38:01,920 SPEAKER_03: I think we just barely scratched the surface. 681 00:38:02,239 --> 00:38:03,039 Thank you for inviting us. 682 00:38:03,679 --> 00:38:04,800 SPEAKER_00: Thank you for letting us be a part of this. 683 00:38:05,440 --> 00:38:05,760 I love you. 684 00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:06,400 We're so proud of it. 685 00:38:06,639 --> 00:38:07,760 SPEAKER_02: So proud of you. 686 00:38:08,320 --> 00:38:10,079 SPEAKER_00: And let me just say this one thing. 687 00:38:10,159 --> 00:38:12,800 And I've seen the compassion in both of your lives. 688 00:38:13,360 --> 00:38:18,079 Definitely amazing ways, uh, and ways that you people don't know 689 00:38:18,079 --> 00:38:19,679 about, but I get to see it. 690 00:38:19,760 --> 00:38:23,440 Uh, you know, I've seen you both just God just just take a hold 691 00:38:23,440 --> 00:38:27,599 of your heart in your lives and the in the and a major impact 692 00:38:27,599 --> 00:38:29,519 that you're making on families and children. 693 00:38:29,679 --> 00:38:30,320 Thank you so much. 694 00:38:30,480 --> 00:38:30,960 God bless you. 695 00:38:31,119 --> 00:38:31,360 unknown: Thank you. 696 00:38:31,519 --> 00:38:33,440 SPEAKER_01: And so now, whoever's listening to this, 697 00:38:33,519 --> 00:38:34,239 it's just me and you. 698 00:38:34,320 --> 00:38:36,239 We're not going to talk to them anymore. 699 00:38:36,800 --> 00:38:40,480 Um, but I can tell you, just between me and you, right? 700 00:38:40,639 --> 00:38:41,920 It's just me and you talking now. 701 00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:43,039 Nobody else is here. 702 00:38:43,280 --> 00:38:46,159 Laura and and mom and dad aren't listening anymore, and neither 703 00:38:46,159 --> 00:38:47,440 is anybody else. 704 00:38:47,760 --> 00:38:52,719 Um, I've I've I've grown up in this area where we live. 705 00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:59,599 I've been here for um about 38 years, and the life that I have 706 00:38:59,599 --> 00:39:04,960 chosen to live over the course of that 38 years has been pretty 707 00:39:04,960 --> 00:39:06,079 ridiculous. 708 00:39:06,400 --> 00:39:10,400 There have been um a lot of poor decisions. 709 00:39:10,559 --> 00:39:15,440 There have been a lot of responding to feelings versus 710 00:39:15,440 --> 00:39:18,960 doing what we know to be right, what I know to be right. 711 00:39:19,519 --> 00:39:24,400 Um, and I gotta tell you, it is the compassion of the people 712 00:39:24,400 --> 00:39:28,079 that have been around me during the course of my life that has 713 00:39:28,079 --> 00:39:36,960 helped me to live a life that I believe is more productive and 714 00:39:36,960 --> 00:39:40,239 more fulfilling um than ever before. 715 00:39:40,559 --> 00:39:44,079 It has nothing to do with talent, it has nothing to do 716 00:39:44,079 --> 00:39:48,960 with knowledge, it has nothing to do with uh anything that we 717 00:39:48,960 --> 00:39:55,280 can drum up on our own, but the compassion of people around me 718 00:39:55,599 --> 00:40:00,400 changed my life and allowed me to move in a direction where I 719 00:40:00,400 --> 00:40:04,880 had the opportunity to impact other people's lives as well. 720 00:40:05,840 --> 00:40:07,679 And again, it's just me and you. 721 00:40:11,199 --> 00:40:12,559 Consider that. 722 00:40:12,960 --> 00:40:14,079 Think about that. 723 00:40:14,480 --> 00:40:19,599 Think about the person you you have a desire to be. 724 00:40:19,840 --> 00:40:23,840 And hey, if you want to, you can reach out to us, you can shoot 725 00:40:23,840 --> 00:40:27,360 us an email, you can get us on uh Facebook, and we would love 726 00:40:27,360 --> 00:40:32,079 to talk to you more about how to become that person that your 727 00:40:32,079 --> 00:40:34,880 creator desires you to be. 728 00:40:35,519 --> 00:40:37,119 We'll talk to you next time.