[instrumental music plays] The noon hour of madness and mayhem, the podcast.
It's the noon hour of madness and mayhem. What up, Peaches?
Well, as a raging leftist, I like to use Reddit from time to time.
Yes, I know, I know.
And I found this, uh, community called R/StupidFood. [cymbals clash]
Stupid food? Okay.
Have you looked at this one before?
Nope, I'm gonna pull it up right now. [instrumental music plays] Give it a look here.
I shouldn't even asked that question, 'cause I just... Based off her reaction, I assumed you haven't seen it before.
[laughs] That's true. Okay. The top post, at least on my screen, is somebody cooking steak in Nutella.
Yep.
Baking it in Nutella-
I just watched a video-
... in an oven
... where this guy was baking cookies inside a porta potty.
Ugh. Now that is stupid food. Now-
Are those chocolate chips?
Ew. Ew.
[laughs]
Now, I don't know. Okay, I've had the burger on a donut, and it was pretty good. Steak cooked in Nutella? What if it's actually really good? Adds a little bit of sweetness to it.
Have you ever had an outrageous order somewhere? Like, have you ever gone to a restaurant, and you specifically want your food a certain way-
Okay
... and you know it's gonna make the chef extremely mad?
Um,
I guess probably not, 'cause mine are pretty basic. Like, on a burger, I don't like onions, so I'll be like, "No onions."
My friend Matt decided, decided that he likes cold cheese on his In-N-Out Burger. And so he posted in the In-N-Out Burgers Lover Facebook group, "Cold cheese is the only way of the..." Uh, something along the lines of that. And everybody in the comments
arguing back and forth, going crazy over cheese on a burger.
Okay, so does he order the cheese, like, on the side?
No, they just give you the, the, the cheese, or they put the cheese on the burger after the whole burger is pretty much made.
Oh, rather than-
Melting it on the grill
... melting it on the grill?
Yeah.
So, yeah. 'Cause all the fast food places I've worked at, they just put the cheese on after the burger's cooked and wrap it up, and then it tends to melt a little bit, you know, when it... when the burger's all packaged.
Mm-hmm.
So I didn't realize In-N-Out puts the cheese on while it's on the grill.
Yeah, that's why it's all melted and nice-
And delicious
... and delicious. Yeah.
Ah.
He also gets his bun not toasted, which seems kinda dumb.
Okay, now that is weird.
Why I want, like, just regular bread? You get to toast the bun.
Yeah, yeah. And- and at In-N-Out, do they, like, put some, like, butter on the bread or something before they toast it?
No, no.
Okay. Now, I, I think they should. At McDonald's, I seem to remember that we would put some kind of a buttery thing on before you put them through the, uh, bun toaster.
Which restaurant's known for better quality, In-N-Out or McDonald's? [laughs]
Um-
McDonald's does too much. In-N-Out's like one system, and that's it.
Yeah. I mean, I think In-N-Out's known for better quality, uh, burgers, but McDonald's is definitely known for better quality fries.
The worst thing McDonald's has done in a while is gotten rid of their, uh, all-day breakfast.
Yeah, I mean, it was kinda nice, 'cause on the weekends I like to sleep in and-
Yeah
... you only have one option for all-day breakfast, Jack in the Box.
Sunday morning, Aubrey and I were like, "Let's go get McDonald's breakfast," but it was 10:15.
Ah, it's getting close.
Something along the lines of that, so we- we... Yeah, we- we booked it over. We did it through the app, of course-
Mm-hmm
... so that we could have, you know, made sure we got the breakfast.
Yeah.
But you can tell, like, we kinda irritated them a little bit.
Yeah, 'cause they're in the middle of changeover and this and that. But, you know, if they're gonna advertise breakfast till 10:30, you gotta serve it-
Right, yeah
... and not be cranky about it. So yeah, I'm- I'm still scrolling through the, uh, Stupid Food subreddit. I don't know. A lot of this looks good to me. I don't know why it's stupid food.
A steak in Nutella? Do you, do you wanna try that?
Not g-
Because we could prep that for Victor Eats.
Steak is too expensive to buy right now. [laughs]
And that was like a Wagyu steak that that guy was putting in Nutella.
Yeah, yeah. Like right here, they have macaroni with ham. Macaroni and cheese with ham? That-
That sounds delicious.
It, it looks delicious too.
My- my friend Zach had a controversial take recently where he was like, "Yeah, me and Rachel, uh, made macaroni and cheese, but it's with, uh, sausage and mixed vegetables." And I'm like, "Why would you ruin the mac and cheese by adding chopped up carrots, peas, and all that stuff?" Like, if I took a big bite of mac and cheese and all of a sudden tasted peas, I'd be furious.
I don't know. To me, it sounds kinda good.
White.
[laughs] And you're getting your veggies and your mac and cheese. Oh, there's the guy baking cookies in a porta potty. That's just gross. That's just nasty. Nasty. But there is a lot of stupid food in here, like Cup of Noodles pumpkin pie flavor. I don't know about pumpkin pie ramen. You know? Pumpkin spice ramen? It, it just don't sound right, but maybe it's delicious. I don't know. I don't know.
Well, it's like that whole, like, who put... Like, people put cheese on apple pies for some reason.
Yeah, I've never understood that one. I don't even know if I've tried it.
Or in the South, they put peanuts in a Coke bottle-
I've heard of that too
... and drink it that way.
And, um, I, I don't know if I've tried that either, but... Uh, hot ice cream?
That's that Tyra Banks thing that she's trying to do.
Yeah. Now, hot ice cream is just melted. You can't have hot ice cream.
I... Yeah.
Ice is in the name. It's ice cream. [laughs] So I would call that stupid food. And I'm looking at a picture here. W- is it just, uh, melted ice cream in a cup?
I'm assuming so.
All right. All right. That's pretty weird. All right, here's the Chum Bucket from the San Jose Sharks, um,
concessions. They've got, uh, popcorn with strawberry Pop-Tarts, teal chocolate, red chocolate, and fries dries- uh, freeze-dried, sorry, strawberries.[gentle music] Uh, it's kind of rainbow colored, looks kind of weird.
Which stoner made that food?
Uh, someone at the San Jose Sharks concessions. [laughs]
San Jose, man, they're known for that.
They're like, "Hey, man, you gotta try this. It's great popcorn with Pop-Tarts, and then chocolate and freeze-dried strawberries." Nah. I bet that's what a lot of this is, [laughs] in this subreddit, is people sitting around going, "Yeah, man." Oh, now this just looks gross. Coronavirus soup, did you see that one?
No. [laughs]
What are those?
Coronavirus soup. [laughs]
They've got, like, meatballs with something sticking in them that look like tiny mushrooms or something, or... I don't know what they are, but it... you know, the coronavirus molecule.
Sure.
Yeah, it, it looks like that.
Funny.
Um, hmm, yeah, it... it doesn't look-
Way to make your food political, now.
Very appetizing.
[laughs] Are you down with the, the 'rona? We've got the perfect meal for you while you're [laughs] just hacking, and miserable, and just fever-ridden. Coronavirus soup, just to remind you.
I'll make the, uh, Republican, uh, dessert, where it's just raspberries, strawberries, any fruit that's red, with some whipped cream.
There you go. Lot- lots of just... it's all red food.
Yeah, same with the... same with the, the, the liberal dessert dish.
[laughs]
All blue.
All blue. We got blueberries. What else is blue [laughs] that you can eat? [laughs] [instrumental music plays] It's the noon hour of madness and mayhem. What's up?
Uh, I was looking up who came up with that phrase, "The customer's always right." [laughs] And then I was thinking about this whole... I was thinking about it over the weekend, and then this meme popped up talking about how, like, it would be great if you just walked into a business and the employees weren't, uh, having to stick to some stupid script that the manager set in place. You know, that type of thing.
Mm-hmm.
They would much rather walk in somewhere and see the, the staff having genuine conversations with one another. Like, getting along pretty well.
Yeah.
Playing music that they wanna play, not the same old commercialized, you know, pop playlist that gets integrated into every store.
Oh, absolutely, man. I don't remember where I was at, and I probably wouldn't throw them under the bus anyway, but I, I went out somewhere to eat, and the, the guy was, like, swearing and stuff, and I was like, "This is awesome." [laughs]
Right.
You know? It's like, "Wow, a human being," and that made me feel a lot better about the establishment. Just 'cause... you know, I don't know. People swear. A lot of people like to pretend that people don't swear, but most people swear.
Yeah, absolutely.
And so when you hear people just talking naturally, it does make things feel more comfortable. Absolutely.
Yeah.
I think we need to introduce swearing at all businesses. [laughs]
I, I think... [laughs] yeah, that, and also-
"What the [censored] is up, everybody."
Ye- yeah, "We're having our big sale." [laughs]
Yeah, I'd be like, "All right, I'm there. I'm there." [laughs]
'Cause I, I hate the whole, like, "Hi, w- how can I help you today?" Like-
Yeah
... buzz off, you know? I'll, I'll, I'll ask you if I need help.
"What the blank do you wanna eat, fool?"
Yeah, go to Karen's Diner. That's the-
[laughs]
That's the place for that, right? Or the, uh, the D-word's Last Resort.
Yeah. See, there, they talk normal, but-
I'd, I'd l- love a job there.
I mean, what, what are some businesses you can walk into and people are gonna talk normal to you, outside of, like, maybe the bar?
The barber?
Sure.
Yeah. I haven't gone to one in so long that I wouldn't know, but a bunch of dudes gathered around-
Right
... chatting it up while we cut some hair. Yeah, a barber shop. Tattoo shop?
Yeah.
I bet a tattoo shop, they'd, you know, talk normal to you.
Imagine they're all formal there.
[laughs] "Hello, how may I help you today?"
"And by the way, if you get this other chest piece, you could save up to 50% off." Like, it-
[laughs] Yeah, it'd be great if you could hit the drive-through and, you know, just the voice coming out of the speaker.
"What do you want, man? It's midnight."
[laughs]
That type of thing.
I have heard some late night, uh, drive-through, uh, speaker people talk a little bit more relaxed. You know? But I, I don't know about swearing. I don't know about swearing.
The worst part is they can hear you, too.
Yeah, you gotta be careful.
As soon as you pull up to the speaker, they can hear everything that you say. Even when you're leaving, they can still somewhat hear you.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Be careful what you're saying-
Right
... 'cause that's how you end up with, uh, crappy food. You know, always be nice.
Yesterday, I think I was a Karen in Walmart.
You were a Karen in Walmart?
Because we went there pretty late last night, it was like 10:15.
Okay.
We wanted to return a poster frame that I bought that was the wrong size.
Okay.
Had the receipt and everything. Customer service area, lights off, everything. There was, like, 10 employees behind the counter, behind that little register there.
Mm-hmm.
And we both were like, "Hey, can we return this?" Like, "Oh, no returns past 10:00 PM."
Okay.
And I was like, "But you're behind the counter. You could just return it."
But are their systems shut down?
I don't know. But if it's like... if they're scanning stuff, doing all this crap behind the counter, I'm sure they could just turn it back on for one return and give me my money back, and that's it. Now I gotta go during my lunch break today, and-
[laughs]
... so the whole time, I'm, like, I'm cussing them out, like-
[laughs]
... uh, and I'm, I don't... And then w- when I- we would go down an aisle with an employee, and I'm like, "Oh, can we purchase this past 10:00 PM?" "I don't know."
[laughs]
"Can we bu- can we buy this past 10:00 PM?"
[laughs] Jesus.
I was just being a petty jerk the whole night. [laughs] 'Cause my back's been killing me, so I'm just full on, like, in pain.
Yeah, that sounds like, uh, Karen behavior, Peaches.
[laughs]
And, uh, again, being polite goes a long ways. Like, when you call customer service somewhere, if you just start unloading on them, you're not gonna get anywhere. You know, you might get, like, refunds and all kinds of stuff.
I honestly... I was nice for quite some time, and then some people have said things about me and stuff like that. And I'm just like, "You know what? If they can do it, I'm gonna do it too."
[laughs] Yeah, I mean, like, if a listener calls and is rude to me, do you think I'm gonna play their request? No. No. I'll be like, "Yeah, I'll see what I can do. Bye."
[laughs]
And then they get nothing. 0.0 requests.
Ooh.
Yeah, you be polite to us if you wanna get anything, or else you can eat- [instrumental music plays] All right, Peaches, I figure we could do this one 'cause we got two fat guys in this room.
Sure.
So, we can-
Where are they?
We can talk about the word "fat." Uh, there was a post in one of the Am I the Jerk, uh, subreddits, where a guy was saying, "Am I a jerk for telling my American friend I will not stop referring to myself as being fat?"So, you know, reading through it here, person moved to America recently and they know that many Americans consider being called fat an insult. They say they don't call anyone in the United States fat, but while hanging out with their friends, they made a comment about the way I eat is the reason I'm fat. And-
Geez
... a friend was like, "Hey, you shouldn't be talking bad about yourself." And he's like, "Well, I don't feel bad about myself. The word fat is just a descriptor, like the word tall." So she asked again, you know, "Please don't call yourself fat," 'cause I guess she's of similar size. And he's like, "No, it's my body and I can choose to describe my body however I want." And then she got mad and accused him of fat shaming her, even though he only called himself fat.
Is she the American one?
Yeah.
I could tell.
Yeah. [laughs]
Uh, getting, getting offended for the whole thing, yeah. Uh, uh, uh, there was one thing I was gonna point out to you. I don't know if you've ever seen this before, or if you've walked into a store like JCPenney, or whatever. Uh, there is like the big and tall section, and then w- we were looking at the, the, well, the woman's sizes, and they have the plus size.
Mm-hmm.
We were like saying could you imagine if it was like the woman's big and tall section? And then th- that, that-
Oh, yeah
... wouldn't be a good name.
They don't have that, huh?
But, but then there's the boy's husky section.
[laughs] Husky.
That's what it's called.
Yeah. [laughs]
There's a whole size that's boy's husky. Could you imagine being called that, or having, I don't know, the, the, the, the clothes that are ... Uh, I'm a 4X hu- husky, like a 4XH. I don't know what, like, what that could be.
Yeah, that's just a nice way of saying fat kids.
Yeah.
You know? [laughs] Husky means fat.
Why not just also big and tall too? [laughs]
Big and tall. Why not fat and tall? Big. Would you rather be called big or fat? I guess big could mean you're like buff.
Yeah, there was one listener that came up to me at the, uh, show, and he's like, "You gotta be at least 400 pounds."
[laughs]
Really?
Does that not work? [laughs]
Yeah, I had my friend Terry call me the other night from Boise. I hadn't talked to him in, I, I don't know, maybe years, um, the night of the In This Moment show, and he's been doing really good. He just had ... Him and his wife had a kid, and he, you know, stopped drinking for two years, so he's really slimmed down. And he's like, "Yeah, you know, it's, it's really wild looking at my, my body index, you know. Now I'm down to about, you know, 150." And I'm like, "Are you fat shaming me, Terry? What's going on, bro?"
But the worst is when they try to like subtly give you the same advice, like, "Maybe you should be on Ozempic, huh, Victor?"
[laughs]
"Stop eating the Culver's cheeseburgers and, you know-"
You know, like-
"... pick up an apple."
And I've been ... Uh, the problem is I've been eating better, 'cause I'm eating a lot of home cooked stuff, but those home cooked meals sometimes are like really rich, you know? And even though you're getting some veggies and stuff, you know, you're, you're eating a full plate.
Right.
So, you know, back when I was eating like once a day, and-
Oh, not that crap.
Yeah. I was starting to slim down pretty good 'cause I wasn't getting lots of food into the system. Does Ozempic really work pretty good? Should I start sticking myself in the guts? Do you think they'd-
I mean, you already have like four booster shots in your system. Might as well just keep jabbing yourself with stuff.
I did find out, I was at the pharmacy the other day, and I was like, "Hey, listen, I, I've heard that only really old people can get booster shots."
"I identify as 76."
And they're like, "No," you know, "everybody can get one," a- at the pharmacy I went to, which I'm not gonna say which one.
Right.
But I was like, "Okay, cool, I'll come back." I, I should probably try to do that maybe, maybe Saturday. You know, 'cause I got that show I gotta host at the Heart on Friday.
You should get so many jabs that you should qualify for that, uh, Enhanced Games, the Olympics with steroids.
[laughs]
I just wanna see you come in with roid rage.
Yeah. Do- does O- does Ozempic give you any kinda rage? Isn't there bad side effects potentially to it?
Oh, there's horrible side effects. Like, there's the, uh-
I know the sunken face
... the, the sagging of the face. Yeah, the sunken face. There's, uh, um ... Well, there's been articles about how, like, "Ozempic caused me bone weakness and blindness," and all that stuff.
It's so hard, so hard to tell anymore what information is legit and what isn't, 'cause you, you can find, uh, both sides on like every type of thing. I mean, look how much Tylenol's [laughs] been in the news lately. Uh, also little operations you could have that ... I don't know, dude. It's, it's gotten so crazy out there that I'm just gonna pretty much listen to doctors. Maybe I should talk to my doctor, be like, "What about that Ozempic? Look at this gut."
Well, Ozempic is mostly for, I would- I would- I believe type 2 diabetes.
I think that's what it was started for-
Yeah
... but now everybody's just using it to lose weight.
Right.
You know?
Which is not a good thing.
And does it just suppress your appetite?
Yeah, but you, you have-
Okay
... you have to also do your part, exercise-
Exercise and all that
... eat better.
Yeah. So I think if I was to start exercising, that would probably be the first best step. But, uh, you know, does walking around count-
Sure
... as exercise? [laughs]
Yeah, walking around helps a lot.
I've been doing that-
It's good
... at shows and stuff, you know?
I mean, just take like a big lap around your neighborhood. That's something.
I should. I should before the weather gets too crappy or-
And when the weather gets bad, get on that treadmill.
I know I've got that treadmill.
Have Becca hold a Twinkie and a fishing pole.
[laughs] Go. You're almost to the burger. You're almost to it. It's the noon hour of madness and mayhem.
You know there's the Idaho Pen Pals page where there's different inmates asking for pen pals, I think?
No, I've never seen that.
You've never seen that?
Is that on Facebook?
That's a whole viral thing. That's not what I wanted to talk about. I thought you already knew about that for some reason.
No.All right, let me bring it up here.
The group that I wanted to talk about is 208 Missed Connections.
Okay, you, now ... Oh, I haven't heard that one. I thought you were gonna talk about ... There's those groups where it's like, "Are we dating the same person?"
Well, there's that one. We've already talked about those.
Okay, 208 Missed Connections [laughs].
There's 21,000 people in here, and what makes me laugh is that there's a lot of different posts that say, like, "To the girl who I saw crying pulling out of the Caldwell Neighborhood Walmart-"
[laughs]
"... yesterday, I hope you're okay."
[laughs]
"You had a bonnet. Like, you maybe were m-" Okay, [laughs] I don't wanna go further into this. [laughs]
Dude, this post-
But I love the anonymous participant, "Rianne at Dave & Buster's is so cute."
Yeah, that was the one I just saw-
[laughs]
... when I pulled this page up. Um, I'm certainly not gonna join this page, 'cause I don't [laughs] want-
Uh, not-
... my girlfriend going, "Victor Will just joined 208 Missed Connections." [laughs]
Another anonymous participant said, "Her dude works there too. They're both cool people." So-
Oh.
She's taken.
Oh, putting the, putting the shut down on that. Yeah, there's a lot of an- anonymous participants.
"To the, to the man at Wahoo's today with your little boy. Thanks for the cute smile."
Gee, like, if you're going to go to one of these pages and try to actually make a connection from a missed connection, wouldn't you not post anonymously? You know? "Hey, I saw you at, uh, you know, the In This Moment show the other night. We talked for a few minutes in the crowd," blah, blah, blah. "I, I, you know, didn't catch your name." You never know, they might show up in here. And they're like, "Please keep it PG-rated in this page." Pretty much every post is an anonymous participant. Let's see if we can find one from somebody brave enough to put themselves out there. Okay, here's Tyler Dunkle who wants to-
You called him out by full name. [laughs]
Yeah. [laughs] He posted himself, you know? This is public. He says, "Anyone know the woman who drives the red Mini Cooper with the plates..." And he gives her license plate number. [laughs] And he says, "She was super cute. I was gonna wave and roll down my window and ask for her number, but I was in my work truck. I stay professional [laughs] during work, just not after work when I get on [laughs] Facebook and put her license plate number, describe her vehicle, and ask [laughs] if anyone knows her." Oh, and then someone says, "Rebecca. She's awesome." [laughs]
Uh, please, uh, don't put people's license plates out on the internet, [laughs] okay? I don't know why, but it just seems weird to me. I should've known this would be a page, 'cause back in the day, Peaches, we used to do Miss-
On Craigslist.
Uh, we'd do Missed Connection Mondays on Craigslist.
Yeah.
And they were really, really funny sometimes. Especially the ones for, like, guys who were, you know, had missed connections with other guys, 'cause dudes are dumb, and they can be really, like, graphic, [laughs] you know? We would laugh so hard, me and Jade and Brad, doing those Missed Connection Mondays, and then Craigslist got rid of 'em. So I don't know why I didn't think of going to Facebook.
We might as well just do it from here on out.
Yeah.
Here on out with this group.
I, I-
I got burnt there for a second.
I know, I hope that one guy that I mentioned earlier wasn't local. All right, we got Jake Coombs. Uh, he says, "To the Snap-On guy that drove past the shop on Emerald by St. Al's. I didn't get a ca- a chance to catch your name or number. I'm just trying to replace my missing 10 millimeter." [laughs]
I like this one from Heather. "To the shorter Coca-Cola delivery guy." [laughs] Not off to a good start.
[laughs]
You can't describe him as short.
Yeah, dudes don't wanna be called short. [laughs]
Uh, "You deliver to the Shoshone area. Not sure if you were flirting or just being nice. I'm one of those girls who never expects someone to be actually interested in me. Either way, I was definitely flirting with you. LOL."
I wonder if these ever lead to anything. Like, you got Tyson here, Coeur d'Alene.
Yeah. "You called me the shorter Coca-Cola delivery guy." From then on, it was love at first sight.
Yeah, "I couldn't stop thinking about you once you called me the shorter Coca-Cola delivery guy."
That Facebook status, you know, that Facebook post gets, uh, framed at their wedding real big.
[laughs] Yeah. "This is how we fell in love." Oh, my goodness. Yeah, and again, there's so many of these anonymous participants, and they're like, "Hey, long shot, but I figured I'd try anyway. Chatted briefly with a six-foot-seven man in a BSU shirt at the Boise Costco. I would be interested in connecting with him again."
How do you know his exact height?
Uh, that's a good question. Maybe they talked about it.
[laughs]
"How tall are ..." You know that people ask that. "How tall are you-"
Right.
"... when you're tall?" So, i- let's say you were the, uh, the guy. You can't get back to her if you post anonymous.
Oh, my gosh. [laughs] I'm looking at Mark's connection, or Mark's, uh, post here. "French fry gal in car by the Ford Idaho Center. I'm the kind of guy that looks at other people when driving. Sometimes I make faces or blow kisses or signal that I'm about to race you, whatever, LOL. Well, today..." It goes on this, he goes on this whole tirade. "Well, today as I was stopped at the light in my car, maybe it was just the energy drink I had or the madness from racing from one job to another, I decided to do what I did next. There was a pretty gal in the next lane. I blew kisses and did a heart shape with my hands to see what would happen. What happened next was awesome. She smiled and waved. She even showed me the fries she was eating."
[laughs]
"She motioned if I wanted some." [laughs]
[laughs] Says, "Brah, you want some of these?"
"You want some of these, huh, fat boy?" It's like a seal.
[laughs]
I'm like bark- Like, if it was me, I'd be barking. [laughs]
Now, did he pull over and share the fries?
No, let's see here. "I motioned back with my hands and said, 'Heck yes.' I rolled down my car windows. She rolled down hers. She tossed a French fry across the lane, and I caught it. It was a McDonald's French fry that I savored from some random gal. Our moment ended. She went in one direction. I went in the other. Such a fun, crazy, memorable moment. Aha. Definitely a top Nampa moment, haha. To whoever this gal was, you brightened my day. Thanks a bunch."
Wow. I wonder, uh, wonder if that dude's gonna find her again. Like, dude, if she's tossing you fruit- free food and laughing, you, you could probably have at least asked for her number. Be like, "Hey-
Should've been creepy and followed her.
[laughs] I would, yeah, do that. [laughs] Don't listen to Peaches advice there, buddy.
"I want more fries."
[laughs] "I'm hungry."
"Forget you. Just give me the fries."
"I'm hungry."
Yeah. "I'm loving it."
[laughs]
The Noon Hour of Madness and Mayhem is a production of Riverbend Media Group. For more information or to contact the show, visit riverbendmediagroup.com.