Well, hello all you beautiful people.
You know what time it is.
Ladies and gents, guys and dolls and
everyone in between.
Gather around. Get you something real
nice to sip on and comfy to slip on.
Cuz it's time for Smite Club. Here's
your hosts, Chelsea and Hannah.
Announcement time. Um, so we have been
doing this podcast for several years
now. Um, we launched in 2022 and we've
built such a wonderful community over
these last several years and are looking
for new ways to kind of expand and be
able to connect more deeply. So, the
first one of those ways that we've been
talking about is life coaching. um which
is a chance to work one-on-one
individually to help make life feel a
little less sticky. Um spots will be
limited as we launch that. So if you're
interested, we will have a link in our
show notes and in our Insta bio. So
definitely go and join the wait list so
that as soon as we launch, you are first
in line to grab a spot. And if life
coaching really doesn't feel like a good
fit or not quite your jam, but you're
still interested in connecting and
engaging more with our community, we are
also looking into launching a book club.
So, if you're interested in that option,
follow the same link and uh you can get
on the wait list for that as well. And
now back to the show.
Hey everybody and welcome to Smut Club.
I'm Hannah. and I'm Chelsea. And this is
the show where we are two licensed
professional counselors and life coaches
who enjoy drinking while reviewing
romance novels of varying caliber.
Yep.
Yeah, that is the show.
Let I mean, you know what you're here
for now. So,
expectations have been set.
Yeah. If that sounds good to you, stick
around. Stay a while.
We're so happy you're here.
If you're like, I don't like any of
those things. Um, there are so many
podcasts.
I was going to say, "How did you get
here?" Cuz we're not subtle about it.
Smut Club.
I told someone I was like, "I co-host a
podcast called Smut Club." They're like,
"Oh, what's it about?"
I don't know how to tell you this.
Yeah. And I was like, "Oh, if that's
your first question, we read different
books."
It's about the economic rise and fall of
the Roman Empire. Like,
well, I was at the hair salon recently
and I was talking to my stylist because
the last time I'd been there, she was
telling me like she'd gotten a Kindle.
She was starting reading more, was
becoming a book girly. And I'm like,
"Love this." And so I asked him like,
"Oh, what have you been reading?" And
like, she's like, "Oh, like you know, I
read I just finished recently like The
Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo." And I
was like, "Yeah." I was like, "I've read
these other ones by her." So, we were
talking about that. and she's like, "You
reading anything good recently?" Um, and
then I told her about the book we're
reviewing today and she was just getting
more and more quiet and I was like, "I I
see. I've learned
there are there is a varying caliber."
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
And I was like, I found the line and
then I was like, how do I walk this
back? And I was like, I can't, man. I
can't. Um, but to bring y'all into the
review, I was giving my hair stylist.
Um, we today are reviewing Why Cheese?
Why Cheese? There's a question mark at
the end of Cheese. This is not the
sequel to Who Moved My Cheese? Which
would be my initial
like expectation of a book called Why
Cheese? I'd be like, "Who Moved My
Cheese? Why Cheese?"
The squeak.
Exactly. You get it.
That joke works on multiple levels for
our OG list here. It does.
Um, so this book is by Ellen Mint.
Cool.
And mint is spelled like the kind you
pop in your mouth. M I N T. Yeah.
Peppermint.
Mhm. There you go.
Mhm.
I don't know why I'm feel like I need to
spell it. No, I do know why I need to
feel like I need to spell it because
earlier I said it thinking mint, you
know, as one traditionally spells mint
and my husband was like adding several
vowels to it. What? He was like, "Is
there an E in there?" And I was like,
"No, just just like just the traditional
one."
Did he mean mint? M E A N T. Is that
what he thought?
Maybe that's what he was clarifying.
Maybe it was like a pen pin situation.
Sure.
But yeah, that's why I felt like I
needed to spell it because earlier I was
like,
"Everyone will know." And then the very
first person I said it to was my husband
and he did not know. Um, okay. So, this
book,
so I
Yeah,
content warning for lactose intolerance.
Hannah, I was taking a sip of wine.
Cuz I'm over here like, are we eating
cheese? What are What are we doing with
the cheese? I'm a little I'm I'm
experiencing
trepidation
in your tummy. Yes.
Is that what you're doing with your
hands there?
To my tummy.
Are you lactose intolerant?
No, but I did recently have my
gallbladder removed, which has changed
my relationship with cheese. So,
Oh, cheese is on your no-go list now.
It's not a nogo. It's more like
proceed with caution go.
Yeah. It's like if I'm going to have
cheese, it's fine. I just might be a
little bloated later. And it's a
calculated risk that I usually take
daily if I'm honest. So
you're like, I know what this risk is
and
permablat and I've got it.
You're like, and I have zero regrets.
Yeah. Yeah. I wonder if different
cheeses
like do soft cheeses do you respond to
those differently than hard cheeses?
Not that you really want to get into
your GI tracks experience of various
cheeses.
Well, the higher fat versus the lower
fat content makes a difference.
This is going to be a silly thing that I
should maybe know after reading a book
about cheese. I'm assuming soft cheeses
have higher fat.
Yeah.
Yeah. Cuz I'm like a hard cheddar.
Yeah.
But like also cheese is fat.
Yeah. So, it is just fat in general,
right?
Well, okay. So, let's get into it.
Anyway, there's cheese.
There's cheese. Um, we open with Violet.
Okay.
Violet.
Cute name again.
She has been left a cheese shop called
Guda Fellas.
Hell yeah.
Yes.
Immediate. Yes.
Every single chapter starts with a
different cheese pun.
The cheese puns abound in this book.
I love that.
Yes.
Okay, I'm on board.
A lot of respect.
So, Gudafellas was owned by Violet's
great uncle, Matteo. Um, when she was a
child, she would go and visit him and
like work at the cheese shop in the
summer,
like as a young child. And then at some
point, she stopped going to visit, but
like was young and like didn't remember
like really know why, just like she's
like, "Oh, yeah, I used to go." And then
like I stopped. Um, so Uncle Matteo has
passed away and has left her his cheese
shop. Cool.
Gudafellas. Um, it's across the country
from where they live.
So, she has flown to wherever it is.
Mhm.
They said the Sirloin district. So, is
that Philadelphia?
You could tell me anything. I should
have Googled that before we started. Um,
wherever there's a sirloin district,
they live on the opposite side of the
country. That's my metric. Got it. Yes.
I can't give you the longitude and
latitude for it.
Either way, we're going to the other
coast.
Yes. And so, Violet has flown across the
country to get this shop ready to be
sold.
Um, she's working with a realtor and
already has that set up. Her mom calls
her to check in and
the vibes are immediately not good with
her. like
reading this, you'll find later. I had
like visceral reactions when reading
about like just the way in which this
mom exists in the world and like
calls her and like it's so immediately
overbearing and she's like, "Yeah, I
just got to the shop." What do you mean
you just got to the shop? It's dark out.
Well, my flight was delayed. Well, there
could be murderers. Have you locked the
door? Like, oh, no, I didn't lock the
door. You're always so forgetful. just
like that kind of
Yeah. Like
like I understand the point that they're
making and I'm like, "Yep, we
I I get it." Um, so there's some bad
weather. Her mom's super overbearing,
but luckily the call drops and so we we
love some in weather. Yep, we do.
Pro tip,
put your phone on airplane mode instead
of hanging up.
Yep.
Don't ask how I know that.
Oh, crazy. My phone died. That that call
totally dropped. I don't know why.
So, Violet is walking around the shop
and she's looking at like there's like
cheese that has clearly Uncle Matteo
passed a couple months ago. Um, so like
there like there's something that she's
like, "Oh, this is like a is this a blue
cheese?" And it's like, "Oh, no. That
that's legit mold on that sort of
energy." Um, but
it's not the good mold people pay for on
their cheese.
Yes.
It's the oopsie mold, not the bougie
mold,
the penicellin mold.
Yes, 100%.
Um, she sees a photo of Uncle Mateo with
like four super hot guys. And she's
like, "Oh, wonder what that's like an
old photo of them like that's clearly
worn over the years." Um, and then she
finds a seller that she like didn't know
about as a kid. Hm. Uh, and so she goes
down and there's like wheels and wheels.
Like it's a cheese seller. Like there's
just
all of the extra supply is down there.
Um, very pungent, you know.
Sure.
At least that's what I'm imagining.
You open a cheese seller that's been
closed for months.
Yeah.
Pungent.
Pungent is the word.
Yeah.
Um, her mom calls back and is like
reminds her to like lock the door. I
think I was kind of alluding to that
earlier. And then we also find out here
that Violet definitely has some OCD um
and struggles with intrusive thoughts in
a real way. And so she goes to lock the
door, she has to turn the lock five
times and like and it'll like it's
written in the book like what her inner
monologue is if she doesn't. She's like
if you don't lock it like
you're like you'll die like your mom
will die. Like just all of like the the
true you're like oh no that's not
we need to get you help my love. like
that.
And so as she's locking the door, she
suddenly hears several male voices.
And so she goes to investigate
and they're like and like shines a light
down in the cellar and there's like four
naked men in the Yeah. And she's like,
"What?" Um
I think she like goes down to
investigate, but it's very dark in the
cellar.
She then tries to run, but like slams
into the ladder.
Oh. and her vision goes out. But then
she even said she's like, "I didn't
black out though. That might have been
less embarrassing cuz now I'm just
laying on the ground.
Why couldn't I be unconscious for this?"
I have had that thought. Like sometimes
[ __ ] is awkward. Like
But I don't know if being unconscious
would make it less awkward. For me it
would until you wake up.
Yeah. But then we have to deal with the
whole why were you unconscious thing and
we move right past why it was so
uncomfortable. You're like if anything
I'm giving them an out. Yeah.
Look how benevolent I am.
You're welcome.
Are you just going to hold your breath
in awkward situations moving forward?
Like what's the plan?
I don't have a plan. I did have a doctor
tell me I had the vapors once.
Did I ever tell you about that?
No. So years ago, I was at work um where
I worked with my husband at the time and
I blacked out for no reason. Like I just
suddenly went down. And so um we weren't
married yet, but we were dating and
everything. And so my husband came to
get me, whatever. I followed up with the
local doctor cuz I was like, obviously
it's not normal to just like Yeah.
pass out. and she ran a bunch of tests
and she was like, "Everything looks
fine. I think you just got the vapors."
And I was like, "Cool." Uh, I knew my
corset was a little tight that morning.
I should have planned better. Um,
you're like, "Oh, is the cure to keep
sniffing salts on hand?" Like, why
what does one do when they've been
diagnosed with the vapors? What's the F
code for the vapors? So what I found out
this year nearly 10 years later is I
have a very mild orthostatic imbalance.
And so once every few years I just pass
out. But like orthostatic imbalance.
It's like POTS but really really like I
don't have POTS.
Yeah.
But it's like that.
Is that why you passed out when you were
in line for the show?
That's why that's how I found out.
That's how you found out?
Yeah. I passed out again earlier this
year. which makes it sound like I pass
out a lot, but it's just those two
times. You're
like, it's literally like a once a
decade occurrence,
right? You're like JLo has been married
more times in the past 10 years than
I've passed out. It's fine.
Exactly. Sometimes my blood pressure
just goes, nah. Like, that's fine. What?
And there's nothing you can do.
It doesn't happen often enough for them
to put me on anything. Do you have
indicators or
Yeah. Okay.
Yeah. So, I just have to watch for
those. But since it happened this year,
I'm probably good until the 2030s, I
would imagine. So, just hang out. See
what happens.
I've got years before I'm going to pass
out again, don't you?
Plenty of time to plan.
Yeah.
That's fascinating. Yeah.
No, I did not know that. Um, and that
does feel like a more helpful diagnosis
than the vapors. Yeah. Mhm. I never went
back to that doctor.
I can't imagine why.
She's now the ma the medical director
for a major facility. So
that also feels Well, I told you about a
facility that I was once at where
I was talking with the doctor and we
were staffing a case and the person that
we were there staffing the case for um
really wanted to go to the hospital.
Sure. Um, and they were really trying to
make that happen, even though there was
actually no reason for them to go to a
hospital. So, while we're staffing it,
one of the like RAS walks in and she's
like,
she broke her shower bin and ate some
plastic, like ate the plastic from the
bin, swallowed it. And the doctor just
like takes a deep sigh and is like,
like, how much? She was like, like less
than a pinky nail size. He's like,
she'll pass it. It'll be fine anyways,
as you were saying. And he just like
moved on. And I'm like,
it's it's a specific energy to be able
to like be a medical director at a
facility like that.
Just be like, you've got the vapors,
it'll pass. Like, what? Okay.
You're like, and it did for 10 years,
right? She wasn't wrong technically.
So, maybe you should go back to her.
No, no, no, no. I shant. Um, so as
Violet's laying on the ground wishing
she'd passed out, all of the guys are
gathered above her and around her. And
this is where we get some introductions.
Sure.
So we have Cam, who is very much like a
Casanova heartthrob, like very Yeah.
Very flirty.
You've got Cheddy, Sir Cheddar, if we're
being formal. Um,
and then your face on that one. Um,
okay. Yeah, you're like, "Oh my god, can
like cam bear?" I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm I'm on board. I get it.
Okay. Then we've got Bri. Sure. Bri is
very shy and kind of like hiding behind
the others.
It's a mild soft cheese. I get it.
You get it. And then um Rock is like R O
Q is like the leader for Rocka. I know
cheese
pretty well for someone who gets the
bubble guts when they eat it. you
shouldn't be eating it anymore.
So, the guys are all like asking like,
"What day is it? What month is it?"
Like, they think they've been locked
away for a couple of months. Um like
Cheddy is like, "Oh my gosh, I'm so
hungry. Is that a chocolate bar?" And he
like picks up her cell phone and tries
to take a bite and he's like, "Ooh, that
hurts." And she's like, "Yeah, that's
not it's not food." Um, and it's just a
very like chaotic scene of the guys
trying to figure out what's happening,
her trying to figure out what the hell's
happening with these naked men, realizes
it is the dudes, the four hot dudes from
the photo with Uncle Matteo.
So, Uncle Matteo, my mind would go to
he's been keeping people in the basement
in the cheese cellar. What the [ __ ]
Soilent green,
right?
It's people.
After I saw Soilent Green for the first
time, I was looking at our HP computer
and I asked my sister, I was like, "What
does HP stand for?" She's like, "Hula
Packard." And I was like, "Okay, so not
homeless people. They aren't making
computer parts like young Chelsea's
brain."
I fairly regularly think about the scene
where they're carrying him out of the
church at the very end and you just see
his hand coming up and he's screaming,
"It's people." Like, I don't know. It
just lives in my head.
Yeah. So green stays with you for a lot
of reasons.
Really does.
Wasn't there like a protein shake that
came out called like Soylent?
Probably.
Yeah. And I was like, "For real? For
real? We could have done better than
that."
I'm like, "This will either really land
for a certain demographic. I wonder if
they're still open. I haven't I remember
that being forever.
It might be worth a Google later."
So Violet goes, "Oh my gosh, these are
all the dudes from that photo. That
photo's so old. These must be ghosts."
And so she
runs out of the shop and like takes off
and like runs down the street. And
that's how the night is.
She's like, I need an exorcist. Is this
all from Violet's point of view?
Yes, this is all Violet's point of view.
Great question. Um, so the next morning
she returns to the shop. She sees that
some of the shelves have been like
tipped over and it it looks like someone
had been there. Um, and so she calls the
cops and the cops are like, "We didn't
find anything except like some clothes
and cheese on the floor."
Clothes and cheese on the floor. A
a indeed.
So, as like after the cops leave, the
realtor shows up and he's like, "Hey,
Veronica, like great to see you." She's
like, "It's Violet." He's like, "Yeah,
Veronica." Like that sort of just like
slimy
slimy. His name is Josh.
Sure. Yeah.
Which I'm like, for the energy of this
realtor, it made sense that his name was
Josh. But I do also know several lovely
Joshes.
Yeah. But I know some really chaotic
Joshes.
My nephew Josh.
Well, I didn't even know you had a
nephew named Josh.
Yeah, Joshy.
Yeah.
Is Which end of that spectrum is your
Josh on?
To be determined. Both.
Yeah. To be determined.
You can both be lovely and bring some
chaos.
He's primarily lovely. Yeah. But he is
chaotic in the way that 15-year-old boys
are chaotic. So
Oh, yeah. It's just its own brand of
we do love that. Um the realtor we learn
like he's really anxious to help her
sell this property because it is prime
real estate.
Pun pun intended. Um
okay.
It's a a yeah a prime cut of your sloin
from the district. The sirloin district.
Yeah. It's not my best joke. Also,
probably not my worst joke,
unfortunately.
There are cheese puns. You miss 100% of
the shots you don't take.
This property is worth a minimum of 5
million.
Woo!
Yes. So, he is anxious to help her sell.
And like she didn't realize it was worth
that much. Um because he's like, "Yeah,
I think we can get like five." And she's
like, "Thousand?" He's like, "Million."
And she's like, "Wait, what?" Um, so
she's like, "Yeah, this sounds like a
good plan." So the plan is to sell the
cheese shop at this point in the realtor
set up. Several hours pass as she's at
the shop and just kind of
cleaning and getting organizing.
Exactly. And and she hears several
voices again
and uh one of the things she hears is
Rock asking where Matteo is and he's
like, "It's been 20 years."
You're like, "Wait, what?" They like
they ask who she is. Um since last
night's intros had been cut short when
she
ran out assuming they were all ghosts.
Um and so at some point she like joins
this conversation. They're clarifying
things. So she explains that Matteo had
passed uh due to liver failure and
Cheddy's like, "Oh no, was it my brandy
wines that I made?"
Yeah. Um, at some point in the future,
we'll learn that Chetty was a knight
like back in the day. Um, but like the
ultimate bro knight who is like always
down for a ch like a chug challenge is
like like golden retriever energy.
Yeah.
He's here for a good time.
Yeah. Every night when she shows up,
he's like so excited for whatever food
she's bringing. Like one night she she
shows up and he's like pizza. And she's
like tacos. And he's like, "Tacos."
He's just happy to be here.
Yeah. Like here for a good time, not for
a long time because he will turn to
cheese. You know,
it happens to the best of us. Um, so she
explains to the guys that she's uh going
to be selling the shop and the guys are
all realizing that like they'll be
uprooted and they'll no longer be safe.
M
um and asked if she would take them on
like as apprentices. And so they're
like, "Hey."
She goes, "I don't even know what you
are." I was like, "Apprentice in what?"
And one of them is like, "We're where
cheese."
Where cheese?
I just love watching your face through
this. Um
where being the Latin root for man.
Um, so they they turn to cheese by day.
So at sunset they turn back into like
real human men.
Sure.
But by day they turn to cheese.
So not having a safe place to be as
cheese during the day makes them very
vulnerable because if you turn into a
wheel of cheese,
someone could eat you,
right? You don't want to be at the deli
counter when that shift occurs.
You get it? Yeah. So they're like, "Hey,
we had this deal with Matteo. We we help
helped him make all of the cheese for
the shop." Um, and like in return, we
kind of had this safe space. And so they
like they take her down to the cellar
and like in the back there's like a
cheese vault that like Rock is like
super protective of. He like makes her
turn around so like she can't even see
like how to get into the cheese vault
where his like vats are there of I don't
know what goes into cheese making, but
vats of whatever it is. Hm. You know,
Kurds, I don't know, right? I'm like, is
it just milk in the vats? And I'm like,
I don't know.
If we have any cheese mongers out there,
please let us know.
He does give her lessons in the book on
how to make cheese.
Never mind. We don't need your lessons.
Well, apparently we do cuz I read the
book and I'm still like, what's in the
vats? So,
maybe Hannah's questions will be
answered.
My request ends. Yes,
there are like when they take her down
to the secret vault area, there are like
36 lb wheels of cheddar that have been
aging for like 20 years.
That's so much cheese.
So much cheese. And it's really nice,
high quality cheese.
And so
Rock is like, "Hey, we'll help you make
extra cheese and like this can all be
sold at a decent price. So, what if we
open the shop to sell the current
supply? Like, that gives us time to like
find a new home is the deal that they
end up making,
which feels it's a good deal. Yeah, cuz
she's like, "Well, I don't want to like
I don't want them to be eaten." Like,
I'm just saying it is a What What do you
do when you find out that there are four
naked cheesemen? Are you Are Cheesemen
cheese where cheesemen
I don't know.
So the next morning, Violet wakes up um
back like I think she fell asleep in the
shop um and the guys are all back in
their cheese form and left her a note
like with like the list of supplies of
like things that she needed to buy. And
so she brings all of the guys upstairs
in their cheese form cuz she wants to
put them in a safe space. And so she
like puts them all on the table
and she's like, "Okay, this this way
they'll all be like elevated and safe,
but then also like not thinking through
like
so cheese shop."
Well, no, they'll turn to men again and
then they'll just be on the table.
Oh, sure. Sure.
Yes. And so like that night when the sun
sets, they all start moving and Chetty
falls off the table and so his wheel of
cheese falls and she like sees it falls
like oh no. 5-second rule,
which is the screenshot you sent me.
Yes, that was the screenshot I sent you
where I was like, "This book is
wild."
Yeah, cuz then uh now mind you, when
they all turn into their cheese form,
she never actually knows where Rock is.
She like knows where the other three
are, but like Rock is very private.
In the vault.
Probably in the vault. Yes.
Um but like Cam and Bri are kind of
like, "Why are we on the table?
We are men again. Um, Violet has
purchased all of the supplies from the
list that she can. Um, they're like some
of the requested items were like raw
sheep's milk. And she's like,
"Yeah,
no one really wants to sell that to me."
And he's like, at Rock's like, "Tell
them it's to make cheese and it should
be a
Right." Like where do I find
like
I used to get raw goats milk for my dog?
Yeah.
From a specialty shop.
Was that the same specialty shop you got
the food at?
Yeah.
I didn't know your dog also needed to be
on raw goats milk.
That was something we tried.
Okay.
When she first got sick, but we didn't
wind up sticking with it. But yeah,
that's
right. I'm like
it was a lot.
A lot. And I imagine you also weren't
buying it in the size amount that you
would need to like make copious
quantities of cheese.
No, it was like a a pint perhaps.
Yes.
Versus like like at some point she's
like, I found a cheese supplier. I did
have to promise I wouldn't drink it or
use it for anything weird. But like use
it for anything weird. What? I don't
want to know.
That might have been my wording, but I
feel like it was hers. I don't know.
I'm comfortable with that. So, not only
has Violet purchased all and brought all
of the supplies that she can, she also
is bringing dinner for them every night.
Um, and Bri is a vegetarian, so she like
always gets him like a vegetarian dish,
which is just
very nice.
So sweet. Um, and we also see in this
scene like there's clearly some tension
between Rock and Cam,
like the just [ __ ] already kind of
tension, but like also like maybe you
did just [ __ ] and that's
part of the problem.
Yeah. Um, but that general energy and
and Cheddy definitely says he's like,
"Oh, yeah, they used to be close." And
Violet's like, "Like like brothers." And
Cheddy's like, "No, the different kind
of close than brothers."
Yeah. Distinct differences there.
One can hope.
Yeah.
So, Violet goes to take some of the
supplies down to the seller and
overhears Rock and Cam. Um, and like
Rock saying like it'll work this time
and Cam's like 3 months like you think
she's not going to figure this out like
like do you think you'll really be able
to like get your peace day resistance
finished before she figures it out and
you're like what is
you don't like fully understand like
yeah but Cam's like she's not a fool
she's like going to catch on at some
point. Um and then she falls down the
rest of the ladder so they very much
classic
yeah hear her and and catch her. Um, I
will say in the book there's a lot of
her inner monologue that's like a lot of
like her intrusive thoughts
and so that is like a very large
overarching theme in the book that I
probably like
don't go into as much um because
it's a lot.
Well, it's like she calls them the
gremlins like keeping the gremlins at
bay. So, she's like, "I'll do something
to appease the gremlins for a few hours,
like locking a door five times or things
like that." But then also with her
relationship with her mom,
you can just tell like she's very
insecure.
Yeah.
Which makes a lot of sense if someone's
been telling you that you're not worth
[ __ ] your entire life, right? Like
that gets internalized.
Absolutely. Like I not faulting her. I
see how we got there. But I'm probably I
don't touch on that necessarily as much
or I'm I'm realizing that I'm not
touching on it as much, but that is a
overarching
ongoing
theme throughout the book for sure.
Um and so Cam goes over to check on
Violet once she's fallen and Rock is
essentially like, "Thanks for the
supplies. You're dismissed."
And yeah,
uh sir.
Yeah. like straight up says we only have
so many hours to accomplish our tasks.
You being here will only slow us down.
Cool. And for the like emotional state
that Violet's in, she's like, "Oh my
gosh, like I'm so sorry." Like I'm not
trying to like and just like runs out of
the shop and like
Right. She's like, "Message received.
Bye." She's like, "My anxious attachment
will not tolerate this situation."
No. like Cam kind of shouts after her
and then as she like runs out the front
of the shop cuz like Chetty and Bri were
still upstairs um like in the main shop
when they'd been in the cellar
and so like you like can hear like the
guys like ask like what what happened?
Yeah. Like where's she going? Um but
yeah, she's like mortified and so
embarrassed and it's just like I always
ruin everything like
Yeah. And that's very much a lot of her
inner monologue in in the book. Um,
my heart
truly.
And so it's now been 2 days
and she's like by day she'll go and
she'll like get the supplies and she'll
leave food for them and then she's been
clearing out before sundown and it's
just
as as requested.
Yeah. She's like
I can follow instructions.
Yep. like
heard message received. I
my heart it really it really hurt. Um
but she finally found the sheep's milk
that Rock had been requesting. And so
she's like trying to move the jugs down
to the seller and ends up like spilling
some on her shirt, but moving them ends
up taking longer than she expected. So
by the time she's done, she's like,
"Shit, like the sun has set." like I was
planning on clearing out before then.
And so now that the sun is set, the guys
are all like really excited to see her
and they're like, "You're back. You're
here." Like, "Oh my gosh, we've missed
you." But like in that way, we're like
it'll be like, "We've missed you." Then
the next line in the book will just be
like italicized like being her inner
thoughts and then it's just like they're
just being nice. They just need you.
There's nothing that you're contributing
here is like an ongoing thing.
Yeah. Yeah. Like don't believe them.
Yes. Yeah. Don't believe them. They're
It's just because they need you for
whatever.
Um and so the guys are all really
excited about like man Rock cannot fill
the room. And it's just like such a
drill sergeant
and like taskmaster that like the guys
are all like really excited to see her
and he's like, "Okay, get back to work."
And the guy's like, "Well, we're
eating." And he's like, "The food will
hold, the cheese won't, like
go to your station." Sort of energy. So
the guys are like, "Oh, okay. It's good
to see you, Violet." Like,
yeah, like
Rock is for all intents and purposes
their leaders, like while it annoys
them, they also like still respect him
and kind of go along with it.
He's like, "There are cheese molds to
fill."
Like those will hold as well, right?
Just saying, Rock. Um, Violet asks how
long it will take to be able to sell
everything. And I think that's when they
actually determine the time frame of
like a they're planning for 3 months for
this transition. And she's like, "Well,
I only have my hotel for a week and like
that's eating into my money and into my
savings. Purchasing all these supplies
is eating into my savings. Feeding you
guys buying you guys dinner every night
is eating into my
is eating into my savings." And they're
like, "Well, why aren't you you using
the apartment above the shop?" And she's
like, "There's an apartment above the
shop? What?"
Oh, Violet.
Yeah. She had no idea. So Rock actually
like takes her like like in the back
alley behind the shop there's a ladder
you have to go up and then like the
apartment door is up there
and so he takes her up. It's filthy like
Right.
Uncle Matteo was older and like clearly
hadn't been using the apartment for a
long time. So like very very dusty but
it does exist.
Yeah. Um,
they offer to wash her shirt for her
because it has the sheep's milk all over
it. And Rock gives her his shirt to
change into so that she she can have
something clean. But like he gives her
the shirt. She turns around to face the
other like direction. But like her inner
monologue is like, "Oh my gosh." Like
taking my shirt off in like with him in
the room like he must think I'm such a
[ __ ]
But then she also like she's like, "Oh,
that's not the gremlin. That's my mom."
Oh man.
Yes.
Oh man, Violet. Oh yes. The generational
trauma.
Oh,
it it hurts in a real way.
Um
while they're up there, Rock is like
trying to like warn her off of Cam and
is like
he's flirts with like watch yourself
with him like he like flirts with
everyone and she's like okay.
I knew he thought I was a [ __ ] like
you know like
like a little Yeah. Like
you're like are you also is it because
you guys have that tension because you
were close but not like brothers close
and they're kind of have like she's
having a bit of a moment with Rock like
he's a little softer when they're
talking up like or talking in the
apartment.
Yeah. Um but their moment is interrupted
by Cam um who's like Cheddy's done with
the current step. we need you to come
back. And Rock does invite Violet to
join them and so she's like really
excited to to be a part of it to be a
part of anything. Bless Violet.
I can my heart.
Yes.
Cuz I will say there are books where you
read someone having a a similar struggle
and there's also like a I need you to
like [ __ ] do anything for yourself.
like,
hey, a therapist can't work harder for
you than you're willing to work for
yourself.
You have to show up.
Yes. And I feel like this book is not
that. And while I didn't enjoy
reading her mom's behavior, I also like
didn't feel like
Violet, like get your [ __ ] [ __ ]
together, girl. Like, I felt more like
heartstrings being tugged than feeling
like
go to therapy, [ __ ] Like, it didn't
feel like that. And it we've definitely
read books where it feels like that.
This feels more like we have all the
context for where it came from. And she
is working really hard to do all the
things she needs to do to like
keep everything together to keep her
head above water. It's not a wo is me.
It's this is just the way her brain
works at this point. Like
Yes. That's such a great way to describe
it.
This is her reality.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, 100%. And so they're like
drinking some wine and filling the
cheese molds. And uh
I think Cam says he's like wine, cheese,
a beautiful woman. Like what more could
a man want? And Shett's like a a sturdy
lance would be nice.
And Violet gets like beat red and
they're like are you feeling like a
little flush? Like what happened? And
she's like, "Wait, do you mean like a a
real Lance?" And like that's that's when
we find out that Cheddy is was a knight.
And he's like, "Yeah, like what else
would I be talking about?
I'm jousting, madam."
That's so good.
A sturdy lance would be nice.
It sure would.
Well, and then they go to offer Bri more
wine and Bri declines. And then Cheddy's
like, he's worried he'll get drunk and
tell you he likes you.
Cheddy.
Poor Bri.
Yeah, poor Bri. And like Cheddy can't
feel the room, but it's always like so
well intended,
right?
that it's also like one of those where
you're like, "Oh, Cheddy reminds you."
It's not that deep where if it's just
fun.
Right. Right.
Follow-up announcement time.
Announcement two, Electric Booaloo.
Friendly reminder that if you have any
interest in life coaching or Smut Club
book club with your fellow smut [ __ ]
follow the link in our Instagram bio or
the show notes.
And so we also learn in this
conversation that Cam was um a highway
man back uh before he was cursed.
Before he was cheese.
Yes. Before he he succumbed
to
which is the first draft of Before He
Cheats.
Before he cheats.
Harry Underwood.
before he was
I dug my knife into the grind.
It sounds very much like Cam was Robin
Hood.
Yeah.
Uh like he's like, "Yeah, we stole from
the rich, but also probably would have
stolen from the poor if they had things
to steal."
He's like, "Please don't get it twisted.
I am not the moral compass you're
looking for. Well, and at at one point
it's like, oh, and did you have like a
band of merry men? And he's like, I
mean, they were all kind of buffoons.
It's not hard math. Knife plus highway
equals easy pickings. Like, just saying
1 plus 1 very much equals two here.
Um, and so yes, we've learned Cheddy was
a knight. We've learned Cam was like
kind of Robin Hood Casanova. Sure.
Um and then Bri was a clerk for a
shipping magnet.
Oh. Um he was supposed to be a Viking
sailor as was his family's uh and what
his size would indicate he should be
doing. But he
really loves reading books and
journaling sort of energy. giving what's
his name from How to Train Your Dragon.
Yeah. Yeah.
Where it's like he was supposed to be
like the Viking chief and then he's like
this weird little dude who likes to read
and hang out.
Just wants to vibe with with the dragon.
Just wants to be in the woods having a
good time.
So do I.
Right.
Maybe we all had something to learn from
him, which we did because if you've
watched the movie, that's the whole
[ __ ] point.
We all did have something we had to
learn from that specific character. Not
going to ruin How to Train Your Dragon,
but also it has been out for a long
time, so I don't feel bad if I
accidentally ruin How to Train Your
Dragon.
I don't think we did.
Can you ruin How to Train Your Dragon?
No. It's a classic. It's really good.
Did you see the live action remake?
It's like shot for shot.
Really?
Yes.
Oh, well maybe I'll check it out then.
Um,
so Violet does ask like, "Oh, so like
what was Rock?" And they're like, "No
one really knows. Rock is like very
private with his history, so they don't
actually know." But they all have they
all ate cursed cheese. They all ate
cheese. They like weren't supposed to
and have
been cheesed ever since. I don't know
what the what the verb is there.
All right.
Yes. Um and also it seems as though
they've always kind of been drawn to
each other like since this curse cuz I
did wonder I'm like so each of you
was kind of cursed in a different
generation,
right? These seem like very vastly
different geographical areas and time
frames.
Yes. You've got like a Nordic Viking
dude who's a the clerk for the shipping
magnet. You've got a like
I'm going to say medieval knight if
you're jousting and such.
Yeah.
I don't know the timeline of when Cam
was a highway man. Sorry.
Um whatever era Robin Hood was.
Sure. that one
that's debated by scholars,
right? So,
so choose your own adventure there.
But Violet's also like, "It's so
convenient that you guys all turned into
the cheeses that you were that your
names are."
Oh, Violet.
Oh, yeah. And the guys like all kind of
get quiet and then just they're like,
"No, we just like don't it's been so
long we don't remember
like our our real names
given names." Yeah. our government name.
Our government names.
Yeah. No, my my government name wasn't
Sir Cheddward.
So, like in the past couple of weeks, my
aunt sent me and my mom and my sister a
text and was like, "Hey, I have a family
friend who just published this
children's book on Amazon. Um, it's
listed for free the next couple days. It
would love if you could download it,
review, like read it, review it,
whatever." And it would be like
Chelsea and Hannah's Christmas Adventure
was like essentially the name of the
book. The author was Aunt Puddin. Aunt
and Uncle Puddin, not with a G on the
end. God's comma. You got a full comma
to the top.
Yep. Got a full apostrophe going.
Yep. Aunt and Uncle Puddin. And so my
mom replies and I don't I did I download
the book. Yes. Can I tell you what the
names were? No. But my mom replied and
for all intents and purposes was like,
"Oh, Chelsea and Hannah, would that make
the author of this book this person?"
Because that's their kids' names.
And
this this group that like runs Yeah.
They've all known each other since way
before I was born, right?
Yeah.
And so my aunt replies and is like,
"Yes, it was written by like an aunt,
like whoever it was, but it was like
definitely like it was written by
Joyce." And I just replied and I go,
"Ah, so Aunt Puddin wasn't her
government name."
And my aunt laughed. My mom didn't reply
at all. And I'm like, "Mom, I am I'm
giving you prime content here,
right? Like you're welcome."
Well, damn.
Okay. So, recently just like the way in
which my like is it just how boomers
text? My dad wanted to know what the
game was called. That's like the Mario
video game board game.
Oh, Mario Party is what he was asking.
Um, but he sends me a text that asks the
name of this game that's on a thread
with me, him, my mom.
Yep.
And two family friends.
Yep.
That no one has text on this thread
since whatever event happened several
years ago.
Yep.
So, I just reply and I'm like, "It's
Mario Party. Hey, Tito and Austin.
Great. Hope you're doing great." like
and they're like love to be a fly on
this wall. So then like the ne I'm like
freaking texting with boomers. And so
the next day
yep as soon as they start with that
group chat that they found from 5 years
ago.
That's like suddenly all they use.
Unless we forget about the time my
father sent a photo of my vibrator
on a text thread with my mother-in-law
on it. Yeah.
Well, and so the ne the very next day
after that happened, I had text my
parents. Um, so we have like a little
scooter that Ford can ride around the
house.
Yeah.
And also has a mop head on it so he can
clean the floors while he does it. And
my parents like, I wonder if they make a
vacuum version. I was like, h, like
wouldn't that be great if he could
vacuum the floors while he did it? Well,
wouldn't you know, your phone is always
listening. I get an ad later that day
for a vacuum scooter that can be ridden
around the house and I send it to my
parents and I was like, "Haha, so
funny." Right after we talked about
that, the last time I text my parents
just to my parents with like not my
husband or anyone else on the thread had
been November 29th, 2024
when I sent them a podcast
recommendation and my mom replies to the
scooter and is like, "Haha, that like so
funny scooter versus whatever." like
replying. Then like 10 minutes later,
she replies again and I was like, "We'll
have to check out that podcast. Thanks
for sending it over." And I literally
went, "I sent it to you November of last
year. It's still worth a listen, but
like god damn it, guys."
Yeah. I was like, "What texting
adventures are you guys choosing? It
shouldn't be this hard.
It shouldn't." No,
but it really is.
Yeah.
Yeah. We have a family group chat that
pretty much just my dad and my
brother-in-law
send memes in multiple times a day and I
had to like
multiple times a day.
Yeah. I had to mute it cuz they just get
going between the two of them and it's
like
that is sweet for them. I love that they
have that.
Yeah. But like I don't need to be a fly
on that wall.
I don't need my phone vibrating off my
desk while I'm trying to work. Like, oh
my god. Like, yeah. You're like, only if
there's an emergency should my phone be
vibrating that often,
right? Like, aside of that, no, I don't
need the the weird Garfeldian
meme
from like 10 years ago. I don't need
that. Thank you for sharing it.
I hope they're just sharing like Charlie
bit my finger
basically.
but sharing it as though it's
Yeah. It's brand new content. Yep.
Incredible. So, they're all having this
conversation. We're learning that no,
they don't they just don't remember what
their names had been. And then Rock
shows up and is like, "It's almost
dawn." Um,
and like they're like having a nice
time, but they're like, "What do you
think of like the samples of like the
new cheese we made?" And like Rock takes
a bite and he's like, "Too salty." and
just moves on and like you can just like
feel everyone deflate and like rock not
necessarily un maybe he does and just
like doesn't care but I'm choosing to
believe that he's just like so focused
that he's just like missing that
it's not landing
we need the sandwich method the good
stuff the constructive stuff more good
stuff
yes and so Cam offers to walk her back
um for the night so she can sleep and so
on the walk He's She's like, "Thanks so
much for walking me." And then he's
like, "Oh." He's like, "Yeah." He's
like, "Truthfully, I thought it was the
apartment upstairs, but I'm happy to
walk you to your motel." And she's like,
"Oh, I'm like, I'm so sorry. I didn't."
And he's like, and he stops her. And I
adore this because he stops her and he's
like, "I don't deserve your your sorrow.
Like, spending the evening with a pretty
lady is no hardship for me."
But then she's like, "You don't have to
lie."
Oh my heart, Violet. And he's like,
"What?" And she's like, "No, like I know
I'm not that girl. Like, I know I'm not
that girl you take home." And I have the
full quote for you.
Oh, Violet, you're more striking than
your namesake. These past few days
without your cheery presence have been a
dark chasm in my life. I do not regret
drenching you in my flirtatious
compliments, and I hate that I cannot
give you enough to make up for the
wounds the world has caused you.
Cam,
and I hate that I can't make up for the
wounds. I can't give you enough
compliments to make up for the wounds
that the world has caused you.
What a sentiment.
Oh, it's so sweet.
That is really nice.
Yes. And then they kiss and then things
kind of start escalating, so they like
rush back to her hotel room. Yeah.
Um and like right as things are really
starting to heat up,
he turns into cheese.
Yep.
Like there's like a close your eyes to
kiss me and she's like waiting and then
she opens her eyes and she's like a damn
it.
And he is cheeks back to KMA bear.
So she puts him in the mini fridge for
the night.
That's really good.
Cuz she's like, and then she's so
nervous the next day cuz she puts it in
her purse to like take him back to the
shop and she's like, "What if I get
mugged and someone takes my cheese?
Not the cheese.
Not the cheese." So that So she she
brings him back and leaves him at the
shop. So he will awake there that
evening
there and be safe. Yes. And so that
from muggers
from muggers.
Well, her mom has convinced her there
are muggers on every corner of the
sirloin district and beyond.
Did I ever tell you about the time that
we got mugged when I was a kid?
No. What?
It's not as traumatic as it sounds. It
was at the time, but it's very funny
now. So, we were going into Michaels.
Okay. In
supply store.
Yes. In downtown Orlando. And I was
maybe I had to have been eight or nine.
And so my little sister was like five or
six.
Yeah.
And I had been going on a field trip
that day. So my mom had her ID and cash
in her pocket because she had been the
chaperon. M
but she had her purse on her shoulder
and she was holding my my sister's hand.
And as we were walking into the
Michaels, this this car drove up, slowed
down, and a guy jumped out and grabbed
my little sister to yank her away from
my mom to get to her purse because my
mom was holding her on the side that she
had her purse.
Okay. Not that I want your mom's purse
being stolen either, but when you
started with yanked your sister, I was
like significantly.
I was like, "Hey, being mugged is
different than your sister almost being
No, no, no, no. He had no interest in my
sister. He was going for the purse.
Holy [ __ ] Hannah. Still not great, but
like, oh my god.
But at that point, my mom then decided
to chase the car down the street
screaming my purse. So, I'm on the
sidewalk with my little sister like
holding her while we're looking around
while people are like yelling and
calling the police. And my mom was fully
like two city blocks. on the road
chasing this car. Also, your mom is a
fast runner in this situation.
She went for it and I was like, uh,
did did she just happen to get their
license plate number in all of those
blocks? Cuz I feel like that might have
been the most effective thing we could
have done.
No. No. So, I didn't make it to my uh
field trip.
But I'll never forget my mother like
doing a battle call of my purse down the
street. My purse. Well, it's like like
that king of the hill. That's my purse.
I don't know you.
Okay, but for how casually you started
that story, straight up when I was doing
so, my undergrad is in elementary
education. When I was doing like my
final semester of like the full student
teaching for the full semester, one of
the teachers at the school, as casually
as you just told that story, she's like,
"Oh, yeah, no, I was kidnapped. They
took me to Puerto Rico."
Like, as a child, she was kidnapped,
held for ransom,
in the way. Yeah. She told it so
casually. And I'm like, I don't like I
remember listening to it and being like,
"Oh, I don't think that's how we're
supposed to tell that story." Like,
well, my only memory of it is my mom.
Oh, no.
Yours makes a lot more sense. Yours has
a funny punchline. Hers literally ended
with, "I was held for ransom, but I'm
here now, so I guess it's fine."
Incredible.
I was held for ransom.
Like, she said it almost in like a way
like, "Wait, you haven't been held for
ransom,
right?" Like, this is a childhood
experience. We all have.
Yeah. You know that that core childhood
memory of being kidnapped? Yeah. Holy
[ __ ]
No, that is
I have a cute kid. I do think they would
return him, but I have a cute ass kid.
And it is a like a different like you
see the world differently when you like
have a small child that you need to make
sure no one snatches.
Of course,
my parts.
I don't know you.
like your mom is two city blocks over
and you're just sitting there and like
some poor person is standing there like
well going to keep an eye on the kids
while I call 911 while that woman runs
after the car,
right?
Like what are you doing?
We never got the purse back.
You think
you didn't get the purse back?
It was also not a priority for the
Orlando Police Department. Believe it or
not, my mom had her ID and all of her
cash in her pocket. So, it was like,
well,
well, cancel your credit cards. Yeah.
And I was going to say it was
if you were eight or nine, it was the
late ' 90s, early 2000s. So, also, it's
not like your mom like had her credit
card loaded to her phone where like you
can just easily purchase things. Like,
yes, you still had to cancel your card,
but it was harder to like
utilize in that regard.
All right.
Sorry.
Got distracted by the mugging.
You know, the mugger that doesn't exist
in this book, but she's just afraid of
the cheese mugger.
That would be my crime,
mugging people for cheese.
And what was stolen?
a 20 year aged cheddar.
It was a 36 pound wheel. Do you know how
much you can sell that for? That would
be very difficult to run away with. It's
36 lb. It wouldn't be that difficult,
but it would be unwieldy in a wheel.
Hannah,
your arms were just like 3 feet apart. I
don't think a 36B wheel of cheese is
three feet wide. Maybe not. I'm
overthinking. Anyway, she successfully
makes it to the shop.
Well, no, now I'm I guess I'm really
thinking about the size of the wheel of
cheese cuz I It's tall as well, right?
So, I assumed it would be like 12 to 16
in in diameter.
We're going to have to give that a
Google cuz I don't know the density of
the various cheeses.
And we will do a corrections corner if
necessary where I where I apologize for
being like, "Sorry guys, I thought a
36lb wheel of cheese was a lot smaller
than it is. Because I have full faith in
you that if it was like only like 16 in
and 36 lb, it'd be clunky. But like,
okay,
you could get away with that.
Yeah,
I couldn't. I'm a slow ass runner. Uh, I
should not mug anyone. I will not get
away on foot fast enough to get away
from any crime.
You have to lengthen your stride.
What? What is that? That's what my
running coach used to say. And I'd be
like, I don't I'm I am 54, dude. My my
stride is only physically so long. Like,
I can't lengthen further.
You're like, at some point, I'm lunging,
and that feels counterproductive,
right? Like,
all right. All that said,
they she didn't get mugged. She made it
back to the shop. Um, Rock then when she
like shows up with dinner that night,
he's like, "Why? Why didn't you why
weren't you in the apartment? Like, why
didn't you sleep there?" And she's like,
quite frankly, because it's very gross
and very dirty, but also she's like,
"Did you go up and check?" And he like
gets a little like sheepish about it
because we're like, "Oh, okay. Rock does
have some some human moments."
Um, and so when she's like, "It's gross.
It needs to be cleaned." Rock is like,
"Hey, Bri, why don't you help Violet
clean the apartment? That way it's
usable again. Um, in the apartment
upstairs, Violet and Bri
just like have a sweet conversation.
They talk about their interest. He
really likes reading. He always wanted
to be a painter. A
right. Um, we learned that Violet was
premed when she was in college. Um, but
she had to drop out her sophomore year
because the more stressful school
became,
Yep. the more intense her OCD symptoms
became. Um, and she was like the rituals
kept growing and would take so long that
like she was like I would spend hours
like locking doors and washing my hands
and like
Yeah. couldn't get to class, couldn't do
my homework.
Exactly. So, ended up uh dropping out
because of that. And then throughout
this whole conversation, Bri like loses
a fight with a bathroom pipe and ends up
drenched in water. And they're getting
closer throughout the convo. As you you
can imagine,
tension is building. Yes. Um they end up
kissing. She asks him if he wants to
paint her. Um and he's like
like one of your French girls.
He no I want to make sweet love to you.
Stop it.
Adorable.
This book was not what I expected when I
heard cheese shifter romance if I'm
being completely honest.
Yeah.
They start going at it.
Great.
It is
a lot of limbs.
limbs.
Like it's
Shouldn't there be four each?
Like he like tries to like put her on
the table and be like sexy and
doineering, but like
it's like she's too far on the edge so
the table kind of slides out from under
her. Then they like hit the ground and
it's just like
Sure. Yeah.
Yeah. She's like I think I trapped his
[ __ ] when we fell but I'm we're still
making out. Like it's just like
that's so real though because that's
what real life is where you're like in
the middle of something and you're like
wait a second my body is not where it
needs to be. Like hold on let's pause.
Yes.
And that's not even like it's not even
going to take you out of the moment
really. It's like that's part of the joy
of communicating with your partner and
like figuring things out.
But for a first time that is
well and he's trying to be really like
doineering.
Maybe not dominant. He's trying to be
very dominant and is like
trying to take control.
And so when they like hit the ground,
she's like, "We no like we can keep
going." And he's just like,
"That's not me. Like I thought you'd
like the bravado. The bravado was for
you, but like that's not who I am." And
she's like,
"No, Bri, like I really like how sweet
you are. Like that's
that's the draw here." Yeah. And so they
they try again and it's far more
hesitant but like very sweet. Um there
are lots of cheese themes exultations
throughout this. Like at one point she's
like, "Oh, sweet cheeses." And at
another point she's like, "Hot queso."
Um what I think is just fondue
or just queso.
Queso is just fondue by another name.
A rose by any other name shall taste as
good, right? Like
Yeah.
Queso fondue.
It just liquid cheese.
It's the same thing. It just depends on
if I'm eating it at a Mexican restaurant
or at the melting pot,
right?
It's still melted cheese regardless.
Yeah, it's still liquid cheese and we're
happy about it. Um, we do also learn
here that when Violet comes, she has
sneezing attacks.
And so she has like a full sneezing fit
during all of this and is like really
embarrassed afterwards. And he's like,
"Watching you sneeze was like somehow
like the hottest and like most adorable
thing I've like ever seen." And she's
like, "Oh, okay.
That's so cute."
She's so embarrassed. But yeah, he
thought it was really adorable. Then in
their uh postquidal bliss, there's a
knock on the door and it's Cam like
being like, "Hey, like Rock was
requesting you come back down so we can
all
Yeah.
talk. And then like opens the door and
he's like, "Well, well, well,
well, hello.
This is a surprise."
He goes, "Bre a bit of a dark horse,
though. It's nice to learn that you're
not unplowed soil as I had feared."
And Violet's like, "I've been with men
before, two of them." And Cam's like at
the same time.
And Violet's like, "Uh, no, not that,
but
at different times."
Yes. But Violet's also like nervous that
Cam will be upset,
right? Cuz they were kind of getting it
the night before.
Yes. And he like is very quick to
clarify. He's like not upset at all.
Like we share everything.
Yeah. Jokes on you. I'm into that [ __ ]
No need to be concerned here. When they
get back down in the cheese shop, um Cam
immediately tells Shetty, he's like,
"Bri got there first. Got there before
all of us. Wasn't on my bingo card."
Like that sort of energy that my words,
not his. And Rock is like, "Will you
guys get serious?" And like gives them
another list of supplies and is like,
"We need to move on."
But yeah, I thought it like the whole
like they come immediately down and
Cam's like, "You'll never guess what I
just walked in on."
Right.
Bri beat us all there.
Guess what you guys? Bri get it,
right? Good for him. Like, so proud of
this guy.
Um, so now it's I don't know, maybe the
next night, maybe the night after. Who
can say? I can't. Um, not Bri. Violet
checks her phone and she's had several
missed calls from her mom. Her mom at
this point
is just like, "You need to come home."
And it's like booked her a return flight
every day.
Oh my god. Yeah. You're like, "What?
This like doesn't even make sense." Um
the realtor shows up to talk about the
open house, but it's like right around
sunset and she's like, "Well, like we
have I want to like sell off the rest of
the product and the cheese, so I like
need 3 months." And the realtor is like,
"What the hell?" Like that's not what we
talked about.
And like I do, he does seem smarty. And
I do also get where if you've been
setting up a open house for a property
that's supposed to fetch 5 to 10 mil.
Yeah. and they're suddenly like actually
for scrap that I would also have some
questions.
Um but he's like pretty like what do you
mean know like we like need to move
forward like this is what you and I have
agreed on this that and the other.
More pushy.
Yes. Pretty pushy about it. And the sun
has set as this conversation's
happening. So suddenly all of the guys
are there
and Josh is like why are you naked?
because they don't pop into human form
with their clothes still on. They got to
they got to put them back on once they
shift.
Um, and they're like, "The real question
is, why aren't you naked? It's freeing.
Try it sometime.
What a pivot. That's really good." Um,
Rock and the realtor kind of like end up
in a standoff because
like Rock's like she said like she's not
selling for 3 months and he like and the
realtor is like you don't speak for her
and Rock's like neither do you and this
is what like she said like get out of
the shop now. Um, when the realtor
leaves though, Rock is big mad and like
accuses Violet of lying to them and he's
like, "I thought we had this deal. Like
we were like we had 3 months and like
you you were going to sell the shop out
from like underneath us and like not in
like hold up your end of the bargain.
Slow your roll, Rock."
Yes. And Violet's like, "So, a lot's
been going on. You guys are cheese, lest
we forget, right?" Like, a lot's been
going on. I forgot to call the realtor.
My bad. I'm sorry. Yeah. And like Rock
is just like an ass about it and not
having it. Like to the point where the
rest of the guys are like, "It was an
honest mistake, Rock. Like, lay off.
Like, let it go. Fine."
And he just like stomps back to the
seller.
So, it's really sweet. When Violet
brought dinner for the guys that night,
she also bought Brie painting supplies.
A.
And so he's so touched and so excited
and is like wanting to like break out
the paints immediately. And so rocks in
the basement or seller. Bri decides he's
going to like start with his paints. And
then Cam and Shetty decide to take the
night off and they're going to go on an
adventure with Violet.
They end up finding like a street fair
block party sort of situation happening.
Okay. Um, Cheddy immediately just jumps
into the the dance circle and is like,
"Ooh, this looks fun. Teach me." Like
has no concerns of like looking foolish,
just there for a good time, not for a
long time. So, a few weeks ago, several
friends, we were getting together and we
realized we needed to eat something cuz
a bunch of us were hanging out. And so
we had shared with a a newer person into
our circle that one particular friend,
Lisa,
yeah,
she
has no social anxiety at all. And so
what does that freedom feel like? It's
[ __ ] bizarre cuz we'll be out at a
bar or we'll be out at a restaurant or
whatever and she will just strike up a
conversation with someone and before we
leave she will know all of their
children's names and where they grew up
and like have plans to meet up with them
in the future. And it's like what the
[ __ ] is happening right now, right?
So,
we order Chinese. Lisa and I go to pick
it up and we are sitting there and
it's a Saturday night in our very small
town. And it turns out everyone ordered
Chinese that night. So, normally it
takes 15 minutes.
We were there for a very long time, like
45 minutes or an hour. And when we got
back, one of our friends was like, "Oh,
we thought like Lisa held you hostage
while she made new friends."
I was like, "No." But that's the Cheddy
vibes I'm getting is like my friend who
just
she'll hear somebody say something and
be like, "Oh my gosh, me too." And just
like she knows everybody. It's it's for
me with a person with social anxiety
bizarre. Well, the funny thing is I have
I definitely have very real social
anxiety and I do also do that some like
like Vance Vance called me out not like
called me out on it but just like noted
it one time he's like yeah he's like
Chelsea we were at Home Depot yesterday
the woman next to us was looking at
several blue colors you ended up in a
conversation with her about all of the
different shades of blue like that were
the and like making a quippy comment and
suddenly you guys are talking about it
and I'm like
I guess that does happen but And for me,
that's where it ends. Like we have the
quicky
quicky. No, quirky. Quippy.
Quippy was what I was going for. Not
quickie. We do not have a quickie. We
got to have a lot more questions about
that.
Different vibes. Like I feel like it's
just like a quick quippy interaction.
And then we both go back to what we were
doing versus like the
Cuz my dad is similar to Lisa. When we
were still living in Nashville, he and I
walked into Lowe's one day and the
manager waved at my dad and said, "Hey,
Ralph."
What? Why do you know the manager at the
Lowe's? Oh, great guy. Just moved here.
He had been at another shop, but this is
actually a promotion for him. Really
excited. Still finding his way around
the city.
What?
Yep.
I just needed a sophet. Like, how did we
get here? The rest of us are literally
like cringing and like clenching up and
she's like gathering people's social
security numbers because people just
tell her things and like it's like what
the [ __ ] is happening? Like
what is going on? But she's always
dragging me to [ __ ] and like you know
she'll find a belly dancing class in the
middle of nowhere, North Georgia. I was
going to say, you don't live next to
many places that I would say are known
for belly dancing,
but it's there. She found a pickle ball
league that she joined and is trying to
convince everybody to join. I'm I am
remaining firm that that's not for me.
Um, but that's just what she does. But
that's Chetty vibes of just like showing
up and having a good time.
Yeah. And here's the thing, as an
introvert, we all need that extrovert.
We all need that like person cuz I'm
like if you're not dragging me there I
won't be there.
And if you get me there I will have a
great time but like I'm not going to
just end up there. No by happen stance.
No.
No. Not at all.
So they're at this block party. Cheddy
starts like in the dance circle and is
having a blast. Cam ends up joining the
they like give him a guitar. He's
playing with the band suddenly
and it's like
like a minstrel
that's from that era, right?
It's from one of their eras, which one I
don't feel as confident in if I'm being
completely honest, but one of their
eras.
Sure.
Yes.
Then suddenly the police are there and
it's like being broken up and then
everyone's like scatter and I'm like
what? A block party? Why are we
scattering from a block party? But I
digress.
They didn't have the proper permits,
Chelsea.
Honestly, probably.
Yeah,
cuz they like a street fair block party.
I'm like that
you got tents set up that feels like
more. I don't know.
Right. But yeah, so like one guy's like
holding open a broken chain link fence.
Like everyone can run through it and
Cheddy and Violet get separated from
Cam, but they're like, "We'll meet up.
It'll be fine." And so Cheddy ends up
leading her to a park, which I think is
more like muscle memory. And he's like,
"Oh my gosh, I remember this place." But
then like
at some point Rock's like, "Yeah, that
park is like Cheddy's favorite place in
the city." I'm like, "Oh yeah, he just
like naturally found his way back
there."
Back there. Yeah. Um, they end up
swimming in like the fountain. Like he
like splashes her with the fountain and
then they're like playing in the
fountain water and just like having fun.
Sure.
And then Cam finds them there because he
also knows it's Cheddy's favorite place.
And then things start escalating.
This is my my breakdown. Cheddy is
fingering her. Cam pulls down her
panties. Climb aboard the cheese train
is said. Choo choo. These are my actual
notes.
Yes. Climb aboard the cheese train. Choo
choo.
Choo choo.
I dislike I don't dislike it. It really
makes me laugh.
So there is a weird techno metal band
from Germany called Electric Callboy
that has a song called Techno Train.
It is hilarious like but that's what
they do is very funny light-hearted
mostly kind of music and at one point
the guy who does all of the growling
like metal type vocals just repeats choo
choo over and over and over again and
then we're riding on the techno train in
this very deep like very intense growl
and so that's all I can think is like
Choo choo. Like incredible.
We're riding on the techno train.
Yeah.
Yeah. Um
Yeah.
That is a bit of this choo choo energy.
Um
like there's a lot of moving pieces in
this where at one point like I like
would go back and reread it cuz I'm like
I I missed a line. Yep, I did miss a
line on how this is all happening. Like
she ends up riding Chetty. Cam is
playing with her boobs. Cheddy suddenly
like I won't last much longer.
So then he's like, Cam, you got to take
her. So he has Violet get off.
Then I think was Violet riding Cam. And
then Cam is jerking Chetty. Cool. Good.
Then suddenly Cheddy is back inside of
her and he's jerking Cam. Great.
She has a sneezing fit
cuz she's having a very good time.
Yes. Um
then Cam comes inside of her then
Cheddy's eating her out.
Like there's just so many I'm like
it's a very intense scene when I'm like
in a park.
I was like did everybody get an orgasm?
I honestly I think so. Aren't the cops
about and aren't we like in a park?
We are in a public park. Like this is
happening on the bench by the fountain
in the park.
Sure. Yeah.
But I guess also it's probably
it could be like 2:00 in the morning at
this point.
Sure.
For all we know.
Clearly this is not a park in any of the
cities I've lived in because there are
still people a foot doing nefarious
things.
You've never lived in the sirloin
district.
That's true. The sirloin district of a
place.
Of a place. Yeah.
Mhm. There are honestly so many moving
parts in this scene that it was hard to
keep it.
Yeah, cuz I'm like, wait, you were just
inside her. Why is he jerking you off?
Why didn't you just Wait, so he's going
to finish inside her? Then you're going
to eat her out after, but then who's
jerking who at this point? Like,
where are the penises? Logistically,
I did get a little lost.
Um they get back to the cheese shop and
now remember right like they left that
night. Rock was really mad about the
realtor situation. So like Violet's
really worried that like she's going to
get there and Rock's going to yell at
her.
Um
and when they get back, Bri has been
painting and has some uh landscapes done
that are that are really lovely.
A
um and he's really proud and excited of
his art. And so, but when they get
there, Rock also like looks at Violet
and he's like, "We need to we need to
talk." And she's like, "I love that."
Um, for someone with anxiety, that's the
worst thing you can say.
Oh, yeah. I literally, my boss once like
came over to my desk and was like, "Hey,
can you come with me to my office for a
minute?"
Fired. I'm getting fired.
So, like there were two separate times
cuz she like she'd be like, "Hey, close
the door."
Fired. One time she was like, "Hey,
yesterday during like the supervisor's
meeting, it just seemed like you were
maybe a little amped and I wanted to
check and make sure everything was
okay."
And I was sitting there being like I
literally thought I was I was like about
to get reprimanded for something. Then
the next time she was like, "Close the
door." And I was like, "Oh, fuck." And
then she's like, "Okay, so Pablo's
birthday is this week. What surprise
party are we going to throw for him?"
And I was like, "You [ __ ] I
I thought I was getting fired.
So, it did happen to me once that when I
was working at a place, the entire team
I was on got fired in a single day
except for me, right?
What?
So, I was waiting for the call for me to
also be fired, right? Cuz I'm like,
"Okay, so I'm next." Yeah.
Yeah. You're like, "Writing's on the
wall here." So, I get a call from not
from HR, from the program director. And
I was like, "That's weird." But he said,
"Hey, come down to my office." And I was
like, "All right, so this is it."
Yeah,
cool. I'm like breathing through it. I'm
like, "I'm going to be okay. Everything,
you know, I'm coaching myself through
it." I get there and he's like, "I know
today was really hard. I know you were
close with some of your teammates and so
I just wanted to check in with you and
make sure that you're okay." And I was
like, "Chuck, you son of a bitch." Like,
"Oh, so I'm not fired." He was like, "Of
course not. Why would you think that?"
And I was like,
"Why?" Great question.
I'd love to tell you. Here's all of the
things that have happened today that led
me to believe I was next on the chopping
block.
I just got watched my co-workers get
frog marched out of the building. Like,
what do you mean?
What do you mean? Why would I think
that? Oh my god. Oh my god. Why would
you think you were fired?
Right. What? Cuz the odds weren't in my
favor, bro. Right. I honestly at this
point kind of like, take me with you
because it's just me now to cover this
entire workload.
You're like, it probably would have been
a grace to have been fired. Yeah, but I
guess I'll do the job of 10 people
instead.
Sure, it's fine.
I feel great about it, Chuck. Thanks for
asking.
So, Rock says that they need to talk.
Sure.
But then immediately apologizes to her
and he's like, "I want to apologize. I
know I've been like really sharp with
you and I like
that I I'll I will be better about that
moving forward." Um, and he asks why
she's helping them. And he's like, "Is
it because of one of the guys? Like what
what's your motivator for like doing
this?" and she's like
it was like it's not the guys but she's
just kind of processing through and
she's like it's my mom and he doesn't
actually ask for more detail. He's just
immediately like family can make us
take the most foolish action like say no
more. I get having a family motivator.
Um which I think for her is more of
being able to get away from her mom is
like that that motivator there. like
well because all of that money would
mean independence,
you know, like Yeah.
And that's one of the very first things
mentioned in the book is she's like, I
need to sell this place so that I can
get money so I can get my own apartment
and like
be my own person at this point.
How old is she? You might have mentioned
that
she's 25.
Okay.
Yes.
Okay.
So,
he then I don't know. They figure out
their plan. It's the next day. She has
officially opened the shop, but it's
just her running the shop. Um Cam, I
think had had a really great idea of
like doing little like taster shakurerie
boards. So like for $25 you get like a
tasting board.
I'm like, "Yeah, I'd go to shop for a
$25 tasting board." Absolutely. Um it
was very successful, but now like
everything is a wreck and very messy and
she's so exhausted. And so when it's now
sundown,
yeah, it's now dusk and the sun has gone
down and and the guys appear and she
like apologize. She's like, "I'm so
sorry. Like been so busy today. Like I
didn't get a chance to like get you guys
dinner or me dinner." Like they're like,
"Hey, we got this." So they make fondue.
Yeah, they do.
They make fondue.
Hot queso. Hot queso.
Well, and it has like cheddar and chemar
and bree in it. But then when she's
like, "Oh, like no, no, Rockef." And
Cam's like, "That bitter goat would
spoil the taste." And just like you like
feel the tension like m like you're
like, "Whoa." Like
shots fired.
Yes.
Yeah.
Ragavore is a very strong cheese in
fairness.
Yeah. He's not wrong. But also the way
in which he said it
wasn't about the cheese, was it?
No. So this feels like it's not about
the cheese.
This feels like it's not about the
Rockefford ruining the fondue.
Um, while they're eating, Violet's mom
calls and Cam answers the phone and is
like,
"Violet's phone sort of energy." And her
mom is like
wants her back from the filthy city.
Sure. And it's like at one point she's
like, "Who's the best mother in the
world?"
Like it is so gross. That's very like
weird mommy dearest.
Yes.
No wire hangers vibe.
Yep. 1,000%.
Um and then also at this juncture rock
agrees to teach Violet to like actually
like how to make the cheese. Um instead
of just like kind of pouring the molds,
but at first she's kind of like I'd like
love to learn. And he's like well that
like won't work. But it's like he's
thinking of it from like a logistical
standpoint like with the shop being open
and in her head she's like,
"Oh, of course it won't work." And like
that like I shouldn't have asked.
Too dumb and like it's too much for him
to do and it's asking too much.
Yes. And he's just like that won't work.
And so as her like inner monologue is
really starting to take off, he's like
we'll have to wait till Sunday. And
she's like,
"Okay." Like is so so excited. Um and so
it's now Sunday evening. She's been like
anxiously awaiting her cheese making
lessons and is like very excited about
this. She made the guys an eggplant
lasagna.
Oo,
it's just sweet.
I love an eggplant lasagna.
Yes. And I'm sure Bri does as well as as
the vegetarian that she always takes his
dietary needs into consideration.
Um, but as she's like walking up to the
shop with the lasagna in hand, she
crosses paths with Alva, who owns the
soap shop across the street, and she's
like, "Oh, like did you buy the the
shop? I see that it's open again. Like,
it's nice to see foot traffic." Um, but
then like also mentions like the rumors
about the cheese shop and she's like,
"Yeah, like I mean, you know, it's just
old lore, but like rumor has it Matteo
used to be seen late at night with four
men sometimes naked like
and Violet's like like getting like
feeling tense.
You guys [ __ ] my uncle."
I don't think that was her thought. No,
I will say I guess at one point she
might she might actually ask if they had
all been with her uncle, but I think
it's more of like the
it's dawning on her that like oh people
are like can see through the windows,
right?
And like
whoops.
Oh, maybe
maybe I should be mindful of like what
all is happening on the main floor when
the guys are at like more of that
energy. M
um
and when so when she gets to the shop
that night um with the lasagna in hand,
Bri has painted her and like did an
actual little portrait of her and she's
like it's me but with like all of the
beauty filters. Like it's like there's
no gremlins and there's no acne and
there's no res. Like it's like all of
like
it's like the best version of me that I
could like never attain sort of sort of
energy. Um
and like once again the intrusive
thoughts are like he's just being nice
that he drew you this way. like they
just need you. They don't want you,
honey.
Yeah. But also like once again, I really
like how you worded it earlier of just
being like, "Oh, no." Like this is her.
This is not a woe is me.
This is just like, "Oh, reality." Yeah.
She's like, "No, this is how people view
me." And like
it makes me sad, but I also
I get it.
I I get it.
Mhm.
So that night, the cheese lessons cheese
making lessons begin. Um, Rock asks if
she has like old clothes to change into,
and she's like, "No, like I have a
suitcase of like seven days of clothing.
I This wasn't I wasn't planning on
staying." Um, and so he tells her to
like strip off her shirt so it doesn't
get dirty. Um, and so she's just like in
her undies and a apron. And the guys are
V into it. This this is working for all
of them that she's in at her cheesem
lessons in just her bra and panties and
an apron.
But Rock takes these lessons as
seriously as you could imagine.
Yeah, that sounds right.
Rock takes them.
Yeah.
And he's like, "Okay, now we have to
wait for like the cultures to like
acidify." Then he's like, "Don't jostle
it. Jostling it can ruin the like just
like that kind."
Okay. Yes. Right. Okay. Yeah. So then at
like they get through that step.
Cheddy's then working on like the next
batch and Violet joins him. Um he asks
her in this conversation. He actually
brings up that he's like noticed how she
locks up the shop and he's like hey you
he's like so you get the voices and
she's like what what are what are you
talking about? out and he's like, "No,
like I had a night friend who was sim
like he had to like pray in all four
directions
um and ended up joining a church and
he's like and I think that worked out
really well for him." Oh
my heart.
Yes. Um and so like it's definitely
acknowledged and they they talk to her
about it. Um, but the conversation gets
interrupted because it's now the next
step of the cheese making lesson that
Rock is taking.
Rock's like, "Great heart to heart,
everybody.
Time to do whatever you do for cheese.
Strain it, mold it, mark it with a B." I
don't know. I don't know.
I like your patty cake rendition.
I don't know.
Um, so they finish the next step, but
then they're like, what do we do for the
next hour while we wait?
Make sweet, sweet loving. You get it.
Um, it's a group scene. We start with
Bri boning her, and she starts sucking
Cheddy's finger while Bri is boning her.
Okay, she's trying to get the condom on
Cheddy. It's orange,
which is actually an orange flavor
condom, but she sees that it's orange as
she's like trying to put it on him. And
just like her in her monologue, it's
like a cheddar condom for a cheddar man.
Okay.
She ends up sucking Cheddy off.
Great.
Okay. This this part though, so I'm like
I see the vision. She's bent over.
Bria's
behind her.
Behind her. He needs my breast while
tipping back on his heels. It lifts me
higher and higher until my arms leave
the table. Breeze got me by my legs and
Chedd suspending me by my tits. I'm
being spit roasted by cheese.
Also, suspending someone in the air by
their tit is wild.
So, I have friends who do
suspension.
Suspension, right? Where like you pierce
your skin and you are suspended, right?
Mhm.
It's very intense. I actually have
friends who
got married that way. Like they did
their vows that way. Um
Wow.
Very into the lifestyle. Good for them.
Is not for me.
That's no shade. But I'm also like, "Oh,
yeah. You are very committed to the
lifestyle if that is part of your
wedding."
Yeah. Not for me. Um, but love it for
them. And I'm imagining like, "No,
sorry. I just grabbed my boobs."
You did grab your boobs. I like I like
that you're protecting your boobs from
me as I'm saying a cheddar condom for a
cheddar man.
I just I have a lot of boob and I that
frightens me.
Yeah. I'm also
I don't know if that would be better or
worse. Being suspended while getting
Eiffel Tower is like
I reread that she was being suspended by
her tits at least four times. She be
like, "No, I got that right and I'm
putting the full quote in my outline."
Yeah. And thank you for it.
You're welcome.
What a journey. While she didn't black
out at the beginning of the book when
she ran into the ladder, she does black
out from the pleasure.
Okay. Um,
so she didn't have to sneeze.
Yeah, not this time. This is apparently
it goes sneezing
real good
blacking out.
So then Cheddy is taking her from
behind.
Okay.
Once again, logistically, there are
always so many moving pieces in these
chairs.
Yes. And so Rock then like sits down in
a chair in front of her and her hands
are on his thighs and like he like moves
her hand up so it's cupping his junk.
Cheddy releases his hold on her at some
point so she falls face first into
Rock's lap.
Okay.
But I'm like, you're still thrusting
into her and you just let her fall like
that, bro? What?
This feels intentional on Cheddy's part.
Now Cam is eating her out.
Okay. and she sneezes again
onto Rock's lap.
I don't know. Logistically, there was so
much happening cuz then like after this
Rock suddenly like pushes Cam against
the wall and like has his hand at like
on his throat
and then next thing you know like Rock
is jacking Cam off and then Cam comes
all over Rock's hand. Rock seems to come
in his pants. My notes literally say
it's heated, intense, and hot and weird.
Is that not just sex in general?
You know,
touche.
Yeah. You're like, is that not just the
summary of the experience of sex? Well,
that's on uh Bob's Burgers. The kids
find amberree on the uh beach one day,
which is a weird waxy substance from
whales that is very expensive and
it's used for perfume and food and
stuff. And the kids keep sniffing it and
they go, "Gross, great, gross, great."
And Jean goes, "Is that what sex is?"
It also kind of feels like the This
smells so bad, you've got to sniff it.
Yeah. Same vibes.
Yes. Um, so like they're all like
watching this like tense scene between
Cam and Rock.
Mhm.
Afterwards, like Rock storms out.
Sure.
And Violet's like, "Does this happen
often?" And Cam's like, "Not as often as
I'd like. I have to needle him for
months to get a reaction from him. Um,
and then the guys say that they'll clean
so she can rest. And when she goes to
like sneak back out, Rock once again is
like,
"We should talk."
Yeah. I'm a little I'm like, "Rock, come
on.
It doesn't have to be this traumatic."
Yeah.
Also, you don't need to say we should
talk every time you want to talk to her.
I'm just saying,
right? They have a heartto-heart. He
clarifies that like he doesn't hate her,
but I think he's been waiting on her to
betray them. Uh because we find out that
Matteo had told him like, "Hey, I have
um a guest coming to stay with me for a
couple months that like can't can't know
about you guys."
Yes. Um and so the guys had agreed to
stay in this for 3 months
while like for the summer while Violet
was with Matteo. Yeah. Um, so like for
them the last they like conversation
they had they talked to Matteo about
like hey like this is the plan. We're
going to stay cheese for 3 months and
then the next time they are aware of
time or space like the world goes black
and then the next time they open their
eyes Violet's standing there in a dusty
ass shop.
Wow.
And so they're like what the [ __ ]
happened? Like
right what did Matteo do?
Yes. Because also
we've been cheese for 20 years that like
Matteo like Yes.
Um
but also Violet realizing as you did
that she's like oh it's when I when I
came to visit for the first time.
They've been in their cheese form ever
since.
Um he apologizes for being standoffish
and then he walks her back to the
apartment. Um, and he invites her to
help with like the cutting and pressing
and molding of the cheese the next day.
Um, which she's once again excited
about, but then she sees her phone
ringing. It's her mom again, and she's
like immediately kind of deflated.
Yeah.
So, it's now a month and a half later.
Whoa. Yes. Um, they've they've all
developed a really good rhythm.
uh they all like have date night on
Monday nights and so like they'll like
go to like the late showing at the movie
theater and like things like that and
it's it's just
sweet rhythms that they've gotten into.
Um
they're planning on like renting a big
hotel room that has a bed large enough
for all of them and a hot tub and
yeah,
so things are just kind of progressing
well and she's living in this bliss
while also kind of being like this only
exists for 90 days,
right?
Like because in 3 months like that's the
end of this deal and this agreement. Um,
and so as she's like about to book the
hotel, her mom is calling her and she
like declines the call cuz she's about
to hit book on the hotel. Then there's a
banging on the front door of the shop.
No,
mom is there.
No.
Yes. Um, mom is a [ __ ] downer. This
is like when I said I had a visceral
reaction to mom. Like this is the the
part where that was happening. Mhm. Like
her mom like asks who the guys are and
she's like, "These two are janitors.
These two are delivery guys." But then
the the like her mom is like
telling the janitors what like you
missed a spot. Like how are you so
incompetent?
And like when she's like, "What? You
like her mom's like, "You think you're
making cheese? You don't know the first
thing about cheese making. You're
probably poisoning people with your
incompetence."
Lovely.
Yes.
Like I hope you weren't delusional
enough to believe you could do this by
yourself.
Like just Yeah. I'm like what? No
dude.
Show me how you love your daughter in
any way.
Yeah. Yeah.
Nope. That doesn't count.
Yeah.
You telling her she's incompetent
doesn't count as you loving her. That's
not keeping her safe. That's not caring.
No. It's also not expressing concern,
right?
Yes. cuz I could see how this would be
motivated by concern, but saying I'm
worried that maybe you don't know all
the ins and outs and you know
food is really sensitive and can make
people sick. Like can you talk me
through like how you're doing this,
right?
Yeah. What's your plan to like
like cheese making is a complicated
process that
Yeah.
I a month and a half ago you didn't know
like what how are Yes. there there are
so many ways to ask questions
around this versus how this is
communicated.
Um 100%. And like the guys like even
like try to like lightly come to
Violet's defense a little bit and her
mom is immediately like get back to work
or you're fired.
I don't work for you. You're not my
supervisor.
Well, and then mom is like now that I'm
here the place should run more
efficiently. we can sell off all of this
cheese in the in the next two weeks and
like get back to our lives and be done
with this
now that I'm here meaning I'm here.
Yes.
For the long haul.
And Violet's like, "Wait, so you're
staying it? Way to catch that." Yep.
She's like, "Fuck." And so the mom's
like, "I'm staying at like the hotel.
You're staying there with me."
And Violet's just like, "Yes, mom." And
like it's just like going along with it.
Right. Right. Right. Right.
Um, and like on their walk, like at some
point like Violet like said something
about like, "Does it bother you that
like I was alone with four men?" And her
mom's like, "Men like that don't have
any interest in a chubby mouse like
you." Oh
yeah. Like at one point it's also
mentioned like Violet had like dyed the
tips of her hair pink and her mom calls
her a sugary [ __ ] You're like, "What
do these things even mean?" Like, and
once again, I get the point that that
Ellen Mint is making here. And I also
like we could have rained mom's vitriol
in by like
25%
and it still communicated it.
Yes. And I still would have fully
understood everything you were trying to
communicate.
The nausea that's currently bubbling
with it. Yeah.
Yes. Like I like had to like put the
chapter down a couple of times. I was
like, "Oh, this like
this really hurts to read." Like
Yeah. And I'm so bummed for anyone who
has this lived experience
because as Cam said, like I we I can't
give you enough compliments to like
right
erase the wounds the world has given
you,
right?
But like you're not no one deserves to
be spoken to like this.
No. No.
Yeah. Like it it really hurt.
So, for the next, I don't know, week
probably, um, Violet doesn't see the
guys cuz she's at the shop when her mom
is there. And so, she's like kind of
just like sneaking notes and and leaving
them at night. Um, her mom is also a
horrible saleserson like
is like tells Violet like the cheese
tasting is a waste of your time. Like,
why are you doing this? And like one
person is like go like tried the cheese
and like is like throwing away their
toothpick and mom's like either buy
something or get out of the shop. What
are you doing here?
Like what? Like it doesn't even make
sense.
Yeah.
Um
she just seems hateful and angry and
bitter and miserable.
Yes. Um mom then is like looking on the
back wall and sees where the portrait of
Violet is hanging up
and is like, "This is a terrible
likeness of you. It belongs in the
dumpster." And just literally takes it
off the wall and throws it in the
garbage.
Like the [ __ ] Like that's where I'm
like, "Hey, like this is so over the
top."
Yeah. Um
like we get it and it didn't have to be
quite that bad.
Yes. Cuz like also like the shop like is
supposed to close at 6:00 and it's 4:15
and mom's like, "I guess we should
finish. Like we're done for the day."
And I'm like, "Yeah, maybe you're done
because you kicked out all of your
patrons for telling them they weren't
buying things fast enough." And then
when like uh not Charlotte, Violet goes
to lock the door, her mom's like, "Are
you finished locking up or are you being
weird again? Like why couldn't I have a
normal child?" Oh
yeah. Like insane.
That's like the movie The Baba Duke,
which I am certain you didn't watch.
Oh, I have.
Oh, did you?
I have watched the look floored by that.
It's like, why can't you be normal? And
the kid is like screaming in the back of
the car.
I had an exboyfriend who he's like, "No,
you'll like this one."
You won't.
You know me better than he did. Note,
he's not my husband. Plot twist.
Cuz I watched that and I was like, "What
about this movie? Were you like this
feels like Chelsea's energy?"
Yeah. Not me literally saying earlier
like, "I wanted to tell you to watch the
new Frankenstein because the
cinematography is so cool and like the
use of color is amazing." And then I was
like, "Chelsea will hate it."
I love Young Frankenstein.
Different movie,
different vibes. Yeah.
Ovaltine.
Nothing.
Thank you.
Yeah,
that is a classic in our in my house.
Del Toro is not uh young Frankenstein
vibes unfortunately. Although again, the
new Frankenstein movie is fantastic.
Um but anyway,
so it's now 2:00 a.m.
Um because they went back to the hotel
room. Violet waited until her until her
mom fell asleep and then she went back
to the shop to get the portrait out of
the dumpster.
And so as she's like reaching and like
trying to get it in the dumpster. Yeah.
She's literally dumpster diving at her
own shop. But like as she's dumpster
diving,
uh like Cheddy hears it and comes out
and like grabs her to like help her be a
like but like sees what's in her hand
and he's like, "How'd that end up out
here?" She's like, "Oh, I think it was
thrown away accidentally."
And he's like, "Thank goodness you found
it." Cuz like Bri would be so sad if
that went missing and she's like, "Yeah,
definitely." And then like when Bri sees
it, she's like, "No, I just like I like
took it back with me, but like cuz I
wanted to see it." Like just
very awkward.
Yes.
Yeah.
Um but is also like where are like Cam
and uh Rock? And they're like, "Oh, well
they aren't they aren't the cleaners.
They aren't the janitors. So they're
down in the basement." So it's like they
they can't be seen. Um, and so he takes
her inside to like let Rock and and Cam
know that they're there. And they start
overhearing this conversation where Rock
is like, "I just need a few more weeks
and it'll work." And Cam is like,
"You've been claiming this for like
hundreds of years now
to break the curse."
Yeah. And and Rock is like, "We'll be
able to see the sun again. Like, don't
you want to see the sun again?" And like
Cheddy starts like tensing up because
he's like, "What the hell are they
talking about?"
Uh, and Cam is like, you you're just
doing this to like assuage your guilt
essentially. And then Bri and Shetty are
both kind of like, what what's there to
feel guilty about?
Guilty about um is he like King George
III or something ridiculous?
No. What we find out is that Rock
inadvertently was the one who brought
forth the the first cheese curse.
Oh,
yes.
Okay. Okay. Um, he had been trying to
craft the perfect cheese. There was like
a festival in town like for like the
king. He was like trying to get the
perfect cheese and he made like a deal
with a shadow man or something like that
that he was like quite frankly I was so
fixated on this cheese and so out of it
that like I thought it was a fever
dream.
Um, but the deal was he would be able to
make the perfect cheese but he could
never taste it. Oh,
but he like didn't reme like he was like
I thought it was a dream and so he ate
the perfect cheese that he made and like
that's what like brought forth the
cheese curse.
Okay. Okay.
Um the guys are big mad about this
because it's been hundreds of years.
I was going to say that's a long time to
keep a secret.
Yep. And they've never known all of
this. Like they take off and are big
mad. Rock is like starting to like throw
cheese around the vault and like
punching walls and is just like having a
full temper tantrum.
Sorry, that was a hiccup.
Uh, and like shouting that like he did
it for them and
like takes up like takes off up the
ladder and like runs out of the shop as
well. So like then Violet's just like in
the cellar alone being like I ruin
everything.
Oh, Violet. and like go and like cleans
up all of the spilled milk that had like
a mess had been made. And then when she
goes to leave, Rock is like not like
like outside the shop and he is several
bottles of wine in.
Sure.
And singing old songs and just
wallowing. Um we we finally get his
history. He was a shepherd.
Oh. Who became so fixated on cheese.
He's like, "My sheep's hair was like
growing in their eyes." And like I like
wasn't trimming it back cuz I was too
focused on the cheese and like this that
and the other.
I was not shearing my sheep.
Yep.
And so he like tells her the full like
this is how the curse came about, the
shadowman deal, this that and the other.
Um and then she tells him like she's
like well we all have our things. She's
like I have like this gremlin inside me.
like tells him like about her intrusive
thoughts and that that like she's a
coward and a failure and that like no
one can love her. And Rock's like,
"I love you."
Well, he's like, "All of the guys love
you." And she's like, "They can't love
me. I'm I'm broken." And he like, she
says, "I have invasive thoughts. I do
stupid things I know uh I do stupid
things I know are stupid just to appease
them for a few hours after she'd said
she was broken." And he like denied it.
And she's like, "No, like I know I am.
Like I do these things all the time."
Right. Right.
And he goes, "Dented." Then
a little bruise in the clay that tells
the hand this mug was made with passion
and love.
Once again, I don't know what I thought
I was getting with a cheese shifter
romance.
It's so heartwarming. This just happened
to us recently with Pounded by Produce,
too, where I was like, and then I was
like, oh, is this healing healing trauma
right now? You're like, I feel like my
religious trauma is healed with Pounded
My Produce,
right? I'm like, oh, look at that. Oh,
self-esteem healed by cheese shifters.
So, Rock asks her to help him like get
the guys back and so that they they can
clear the air. And so they start by
going to the park, but the guys are not
all not all there. Um, which they're
like, "Oh, they're not here." Then
suddenly like Cam pops up and you're
like, "So Cam is there. Whatever." Um,
and so then we learn like how Cam and
um, Rock met was that Cam's merry band
of thieves found out he turned into
cheese by day. So he like had to flee at
some point.
And then also at one point they're like,
"Yes." And then I was being chased by
all of like the jealous townsmen or
something. And Rock's like, "All of the
jealous husbands cuz you were sleeping
with all of their wives." Yeah. Like
that's why you got chased out of town,
bro. So like Cam went to like hide in a
cave, but it's the cave that Rock was
living in.
Sure. And so he like held him at knife
like Rock held Cam at knife point, but
then by day they both turned to cheese.
Then by night they both turned back to
men. But like that night like Cam got
the knife first. So for like a week
straight they're just in like a knife
standoff
turning into cheese.
Okay.
But that like it also seems like through
this retelling like they're like
laughing a little bit like
it's healing to 100%. And so that's when
Cam also mentions that like the guys are
like across the street at the bar, which
is like a full club.
Yeah.
Um and so things look like they're
getting a little spicy between Cam and
Rock. So Violet's like, "I'm going to
go."
Yeah. Feels like a pilot moment. You
guys take this moment. I'm going to go
find the guys. So she goes once again.
Cheddy's like dancing his heart out.
Uh, if I'm remembering correctly, Bri is
at the bar drinking every single
cocktail that they have on the menu,
just trying. And she's like, "Don't do
that. You'll get alcohol poisoning." And
they're like, "No, like bars always
water down drinks." And she was like,
"No, not modern ones." And she looks
around and she's like, "This bar looks
like young college kids."
Yeah,
maybe they do. Fine. Drink away. I did
try I went to a show recently and they
had like a specialty cocktail or
whatever that was a rum and coke and
amordo and lime.
Huh.
And I was like, I'll try that. And the
bartender was like, that's [ __ ]
weird, right? Cuz it was like the the
band that came in. It was like they made
it up for them, right? And I was like,
sure, I'll like a rock bottom. Sure,
whatever.
And so I tried it. And he goes, "How is
it?" And I said, "I wouldn't order it
again, but I will drink it." And he
went, "Noted. And thank you so future
patrons when they ask." I was like,
"Yeah, it's gross."
There was a restaurant back in St. Pete
that on their like dessert menu, they
had like a Guinness
cream float.
And I was like, "Oh, like is this good?
Is this worth ordering?" And she's like,
"I think people think it's it's going to
be different than it is." She's like,
"It's literally exactly what you think
it is. It is Guinness and ice cream."
She's like, "So, choose your own
adventure." But like, she's like, "No,
when they're combined, they don't
suddenly make a different flavor
palette."
Yeah.
I was like,
"Yeah,
all I need to know. Thank you so much."
When I worked in a tequila bar, they had
a specialty like prick prickly pear
margarita.
Yeah.
It was disgusting.
Oh, that's a bummer. I've had really
good pear margaritas.
Prickly pear. So gross. And so people
would ask and I would be like, if you
have had it before and you liked it,
strongly recommend.
If not, I would not because people would
send it back. Like it was really gross.
Dang.
I was like, can I interest you in a
Texas margarita with a Grand Marier
floater? That might be more up your
alley.
Yeah. You're like, I can recommend
several other things for you that will
give you a better experience. 100%.
So she finds him in the bar. Bree's
drinking all of these drinks. They're
like she's like, "Come back." Like, "No,
like he really cares." And they're like,
"If he really cared, he would have like
told us the truth."
And then Rock is suddenly there. He's
like, "You're right. Like I like I
should have told you sooner." But also
Violet's kind of first thought is
they got here quick. Was really trying
to give him a moment.
Like Okay.
So soon, huh? So, like they're all
having this like heartto-heart very
necessary debrief in the Yeah, in the
club in the bar. Um, but it's also like
it's beyond last call. It's now like
lights are turning on. It's time to go
home. Like not like dawn, but just like
and they all turn to cheese.
And they all turn to cheese.
But like they're all trying to like have
this heartto-heart and a bouncer's
coming up to like tell them they need to
leave. And Cam tries to say like, "Hey
man, like just give us a moment." and
the bouncer just like punches him in the
stomach.
So then it turns into this giant brawl
between the four of them and bouncers.
Then like end of scene, next scene
they're all walking back to the cheese
shop and just like debriefing how it
went. Like at one point Chetty jumped on
a bouncer's back to like get him off of
someone. Bri tried to throw a punch but
ended up punching Rock instead but like
hurt his hand in the process. Classic
Bri.
Um, when they get back to the shop, I
think Cam goes to open another bottle of
wine and Bri just like starts puking cuz
he had too many drinks.
She ends up like Violet ends up like
kissing Bree's knuckles
and then Rock ends up kissing her and
like telling her that she's a miracle
and is like then asks like, "Who wants
next?" Like that's where the scene ends.
Okay.
Yes.
So Violet
next chapter starts wakes up to someone
like shaking her telling her to wake up
and it's her mom and she fell asleep on
the shop floor and is just like
surrounded by cheese four cheeses and
men's clothing. And her mom is like are
those men's shirts? Is that cheese? Did
you sneak out in the middle of the night
to dress cheese up? Like,
do you have cheese friends?
Like,
yes, I do, Mom.
Which, like, for all of her mom's
horrific behavior, I do think that's a
legitimate question.
Yeah, I like that a lot.
Did you sneak out to dress up cheese in
the middle of the night? Like, what's
happening?
Um, mom is now like, "We're going home.
We're leaving this godforsaken city
behind." Like, it's just once again so
over the top. Um, and Violet boils over
and she's like, "This place isn't a hell
hole. It's a lovely [ __ ] cheese
shop." Like, and you'll respect it. And
her mom's like, "What's gotten into
you?" And in her head, Violet's like,
"Four tick. That's not the answer to
this question."
So much cheese is what has gotten into
me.
So much cheese.
So much cheese
in more ways than you would would
consider. Right.
Um, and Violet's like, "Nothing's gotten
into me." And her mom's like, "Don't
piss on my cupcake and tell me it's
frosting." And Violet's like, "That
saying doesn't even make sense.
Frosting's not a liquid."
Yeah.
Like in that way where like it's like
one of her mom's go-to sayings that
she's just been biting her tongue for
years and she's like,
"You're saying is illogical." Although
one time when I worked uh crisis and did
like emergency psychiatric services,
there was a dude that I went to the
hospital to do an assessment. He was
definitely malingering. Um, for those of
you that don't readily use the word
malingering in this context, he uh was
looking for a place to stay cuz he
didn't have a better option of where he
wanted to go and he was maybe um
exaggerating
exaggerating. Yes. Embellishing some of
his symptoms to get what he wanted in
this situation.
And I go to talk to the doctor and also
like this is like not the bougie
commercial insurance hospital. This is
like the local
state general hospital and it's just
this old school doctor. I'm like, "What
do you think?" He goes, "I think my leg
is wet."
And I go, "Yeah." He goes, "Yeah, I
think he's pissing on my leg and telling
me it's raining."
He goes, "I feel good discharging them."
I bet he would tell me I had the vapors.
He would tell you you had the vapors
beyond a shadow of a doubt. You got the
vapors. I'm going to discharge you.
You'll be fine.
So all of this like Violet realizes it's
escalating but like tries to take a deep
breath and she's like, "Hey mom, like
you've been working so hard helping me
at the shop the past couple of days. Why
don't you just go back to the hotel?
Take a day off.
Take take a day off, rest
all clean." Um,
and so her mom like calls her a spoiled
child, but ultimately leaves.
Yeah.
And like through this whole
conversation, Violet's terrified for her
cheeses, so she's like holding them to
her chest, which I'm like, I get your
mom's concern in this moment if I'm if
I'm being honest. Like, did you sneak
out to dress cheese up
and now you're you're clutching it like
it's an infant or something? What are
you doing?
Well, and her mom is also like, "This is
just the brain rot. Like, we'll get you
help when we get back." You're like,
"The fuck?"
Yeah. So
Violet stays to clean like kind of gets
everything back to rights, puts the guys
back in the cellar like next to the box
that they'd all initially kind of been
in.
Um, and like but has to carry them one
at a time because to your point earlier,
they're not small. I don't I don't know
if it's a 3ft wide wheel, but like
they're not small and it's pretty
clunky. Um, and so after she does all
this, she goes upstairs to the apartment
to just like take a nap.
Yeah. So she wakes up from the nap being
like, "That was exactly what I needed.
That was the right call." She and then
she gets down the ladder and sees like
construction dudes like throwing [ __ ] in
the dumpster.
She's like, "What is happening?" And and
she looks down and her mom is like at
the end of the al at the end of the
alley with Alva, the soap show the soap
shop
soap shop owner. um who's like I'm so
like your daughter's fallen into these
like so sorry your daughter's fallen
into this debauchery like that sort of
like conversation
right
and her mom's like well my daughter's a
magnet for temptation and sin like
you're like the [ __ ] and they're like
clearing things out like the garbage
guys are like hey like these paintings
look kind of nice are you sure you want
to like throw these away like breeze
paintings and her mom's like either give
me $10 a painting or throw them in the
garbage.
Yes. Like
absolutely banana pants this entire
time.
Um Violet loses it and tells everyone to
stop and she's like looking at her mom
and she's like, "You have no right." And
her mom's like, "I have every right. I'm
your mother." She's like, "No, this is
my store, not yours." Like legally like,
and she goes off on her mom, like
talking about like the doctor, like her
mom's like, "Well, look, like you're
having an episode right now." And she's
like, "No, the do you know why I'm
having an episode? The doctor straight
up told you why I have an episode. It's
because of you."
And her mom's like, "No, he was just
saying that to like turn you against
me." And Violet's like, "I was on
medication that helped me and you took
me off of it. Like
you you want to control me and you want
a baby doll more than you want a
daughter and I'm a [ __ ] human, man.
But like this like isn't
Damn.
Yeah. Like everyone has stopped to just
like watch this fight at this point.
It's very Jerry Spring.
The garbage men, construction workers,
whatever you want to call them, are like
confused, like do what do we
Yeah.
And like Violet's like, "Put everything
back in my shop." And they're like,
"Well, it's all in the dumpster." She's
like,
"Then get it out."
Yes.
Yeah. Absolutely. She's like, "This is
my shop. Put everything back or I will
sue you." When she goes into the shop
though, there are like more workers
there who are eating the cheese.
And she's like, "What the fuck?" And
they're like, "Well, she said we could
have it." And she's like, "You can't
have it." But she's like, "Oh my god, oh
my god. Oh my god. That's the guys.
That's That's the guys. Like this one's
down to the rind. That one just has a
nibble off of it. Like Oh my god. Oh my
god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Like
Oh [ __ ] Yes. And she's like where did
you find this? And they're like down in
the creepy cellar. She's like what? Like
how did you get to the cellar?
Right. Why were you even in there?
And so like they're like oh like we've
like we couldn't get the vats out. So
like they also like they got into like
the back vault as well.
And so she waits until sunset and like
has all of them like laid out and they
don't
they don't shift.
Oh no.
I know when I tell you this book was
more than I anticipated.
I know. I'm like way more emotionally
invested than I thought I was going to.
And so like but like her like gremlin is
being like you killed them. Like this is
all on you. Yeah. Um, and so she just
like at night after night she's like
waiting for them to like keeps keeps
waiting but like at this point like
they're all starting to mold and so she
like throws out like the rest of the
cheese in the shop but like is like
keeping them in like plastic bags to
like try and keep what she has of them.
It's so heartbreaking.
Oh my god.
Yeah. I was like her daily vigil with
this like molded cheese. That's like the
classic denial stage of grief, right?
Yes.
It was like,
you know,
and so she does realize, she's like,
"Okay, all of the like
the rest of the cheese in the shop has
gone bad. This is molded as like
everything." She's like, "I I can't do
this without them. I like I know what
was real."
Yeah.
But like I
I I have to move on at this point. I I
can't do this. And so her plan is then
to like take the money from selling
the property and like return each of
them to their like ancestral home.
Oh my god.
She said I'm going to do a world tour to
take everybody home.
Yes.
Oh my god, my heart. And so like at this
point the shop is now like cleared out
cleared out of like equipment
refrigerated kit like everything is gone
because it's ready to sell and the open
house is planned for the next day. And
so realtor Josh is like okay
everything's like gone. He's like but
there was like it kind of looked like an
heirloom or something in the seller. It
was heavy. We like couldn't move it. So
like if you want your heirloom take it.
And she's like oh okay what? Like I
missed it. And it was the old box. And
when she opens it, she's like, "Oh,
there's like extra cheese in here that
they must have missed." So, she like
opens the box and like takes the cheeses
out.
Um, and then starts like go up the
ladder again to like do whatever she
needs to do. Then she hears voices and
like it's like, "I could piss for days
and like why is it so dark down here?"
And then like suddenly the voices are
like, "What the hell happened?" Like,
and so it's all four guys and they're
like, but like they're all like, "Did we
lose another 20 years?" Like, "Oh no,
what's happened?"
So, like it's a they're obviously
they're all okay. They're reunited. She
tells them what happened and like she
like she like I thought this was you and
like it's like holding her bag of moldy
cheese that she was like that she was
saying that
she's been protecting.
Yes. That she's been diligently
protecting. Um and they explain that
like in the box it's essentially like
cryogenics. like they can just like so
like that's where they'd been for the 20
years
when they they'd initially been been
gone. Um how they got back in the box I
think were like the universe was looking
out for them and that's left a little
bit as a mystery because she didn't put
them in the box. She put them next to
the box
when she went to sleep. So
we'll leave that plot hole as is.
We'll give that to Ellen.
Yes, we'll give that to Ellen Mint. And
so the shop once again very empty. And
they're like, "Well, like what do we do
for our next steps?" Cuz you also have
to remember that for her it's been
several weeks. But for the guys, they
were just all having this giant fight,
right?
And then it's the next day for them. So
like it's like 5 minutes later for their
purposes. So Bree's like, "Why would I
stay?" Like after like I'm still like
mad at Rock. Um, and then Violet's like,
"You stay like because you're family and
we like you love each other and like
this, that, and the other." And it turns
into like general declarations of love
and a big heart to heart for them all.
And she decides not to sell and that
they're going to like reopen the shop.
Ruin Josh's day.
Oh, yeah. I'm like, Josh, poor Josh. I
do. He might have called her Veronica,
but when you have
Is that really a crime?
You keep getting your chain yanked with
this $5 billion deal being ripped back
from you. I get your frustration.
So, now we're at the epilog. It's 2
years later.
Okay.
Yes. Um, they've rebuilt the shop. They
now do like evening and night hours. So,
I think they have someone who like runs
the shop from like 12:00 to 5:00. And
then, uh, in the evening, so it started
with like they're like, well, everything
was out was gone from the shop. They
like didn't have money. So they started
with just like small like custom cheese
tasting boxes and then they were over
able to over time rebuild the shop. Um
and so now it's been like fully
remodeled and there's a book club going
that like Cam is leading that's like
bodice rippers.
Hell yeah.
And he's helping the next generation
figure out like how to talk to women.
And he's like okay so how do you start
the conversation? And the guy was like
you up. And he's like no. He's like,
"You don't just send a photo of your
Johnson. You ask and if she would like
one like Mrs. Cam giving feedback." Um,
Bri is teaching painting lessons in his
little section of the shop. Cheddy
became obsessed with making like the
world's hottest cheese. So that he has
like he hosts
hot cheese eating competitions that like
go up in Scoville.
That feels good for for Cheddy,
right? That feels exactly like Cheddar.
Yes. And then uh Rock has won a couple
of awards for his cheese making at this
point. And so all of like the
homesteaders and cottage corers come for
paid lessons to learn how to make cheese
there. And so like they all just are
living this happy life. And then there's
like another long gratuitous sex scene
that I was like, "Yeah, I get it." And
it's at the end of the epilogue.
Sure.
Sex, man. She She probably sneezes
again. Um I
love that for them.
What a delightful journey.
It is far more than we anticipated.
Yes.
So fun though.
Yes. I'm like, "Oh." Oh, and at one
point in the epilogue, like she sees her
mom is calling her and she's like, "And
I don't have to answer. Like, she
doesn't have a right to all of my time,
and I'm allowed to hold boundaries that
I've been working on with my therapist."
Yeah, you are, Violet.
Like, hell yeah, Violet.
Yes.
Good for you, babe.
It's so sweet and wholesome.
So nice.
I know. Yeah. So, thanks for going on.
Oh, and they renamed the shop Why Not
Cheese?
Why Not Cheese? I like that I have to
say it multiple ways with a question
mark.
Why Not cheese?
Oh, so lovely.
Um,
shocking.
Yeah,
and I enjoyed it.
Yes,
I might have to check out more of Ellen
Mint.
Yeah, there are more. I haven't read
more, but there are more. And I might
need to as well.
Yeah. So, what is our rating scale?
Cheese wheels, fondue pots.
We could go with fondue pots. Or are we
going with 36 lb cheese wheels?
How many pounds of cheese?
How many pounds out of a 36B cheese
wheel? How many pounds do you give this
book?
Um,
30.
Wow.
It's okay. I get it.
Yeah. like for all of the
smut that we like
there were so many layers. This was so
much more wholesome than I expected.
Um cuz also like what I likely didn't
capture is that
like Cheddy speaks like a knight. Like
Cam speak like the way in which they
speak is very true to the era that
they're from which is very endearing as
well. Um, and I know we said it before,
I like Well, there were parts with like
mental illness that were like really
difficult to listen to. Oh, cuz even
like when everyone was watching Violet
and her mom have that fight, her mom's
like, "Don't listen to her. She's
mentally ill."
Jesus Christ.
Yes. Like my jaw was on the floor.
And once again, I was like, I get the
point you're making. I could have had it
rained in a little. Um, but no, like it
was a delight.
Yeah. Also
lovely.
Do you remember Monty Python?
Of course.
Yeah, of course you do. Um, they had an
old skit called The Cheese Shop.
I don't recall that one.
The only reason I recall it is because
my father memorized the entire script.
And on like our morning ride to school,
he would do the entire cheese shop skit.
Wow.
Both parts for us.
Wow.
Yes. Um, and so it was fun. Like all of
the different like chapter titles being
a different cheese pun. Like yeah,
thoroughly enjoyed it. I'm gonna give it
30 out of 36 lb.
Hell yeah.
Of a 36 lb 20 year aged cheddar wheel.
And I love it.
I don't think I worded that properly, so
don't come at me. Cheese mongers.
I don't know that that's our target
demographic. I would I would be curious
to know how many cheese mongers are
listening.
Listen, this episode might might give us
some crossover. Hey. Hey. All right. Let
us know how many pounds of cheese you
would rate this. Don't forget to like,
subscribe, let us uh what you Why are
words so hard today? Let us know what
you'd like us to review next. We are
always looking for new recommendations.
Um cuz you're like may maybe you're here
for cheese shifters. Maybe you're like I
would like something else. If you want
something else, tell us what you want.
We'll try. If you want more of this,
share your Rex
either way. Yeah.
Yeah. We're here for a good time and for
a long time. Hell yeah.
Hey. All right. See you next time, smut
[ __ ] Bye, smart puppies.
Well, that's it for this week, smut
[ __ ] We hope it was good for you, cuz
it sure was great for us. If you're
digging what we're doing, it would mean
a lot if you'd take a minute to rate and
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next week. Stay spotty.