Finder: A wayward dream of 2 parts trust and 1 part entropy. Where hope is a worm that rides in the hands of its captors.
Keeper: It's finally that time,
Finder: They never tell the worm why it has been locked away. They never tell it much of anything.
Keeper: This one has potential. It's a shame they're keeping so much from her, though.
Finder: And even when they let it go, when it can move freely once more, The knowledge that it may be plucked again with such ease will always remain.
Keeper: Let's hope that doesn't cause problems. I don't ever wanna see this place again.
Finder: The bars may open and the chains may unlock, but what awaits on the other side is only a larger cell.
Keeper: I haven't had coffee in 40 years and still tastes like shit. She's been looking around like a deer in headlights for 5 minutes now. She doesn't trust her senses yet. She seems confident in her actions, but likely takes a lot of unnecessary risks. At a glance, I wouldn't believe our aptitude scores.
It is my personal opinion that I have my work cut out for me.
Finder: Okay. So I'm pretty sure it's you, but if I look crazy, let
Finder: me know. But when I look at you,
Finder: I get the whole thing, you know, in your head when one of us is around. You
Keeper: are truly an ace detective.
Finder: You're the keeper. With how old they said you were, I thought you'd be a lump of wrinkles.
Keeper: Well, when the watchers keep you in their pen, things work a little differently.
Finder: Mind if I have a seat?
Keeper: I guess not.
Finder: So, what do I call you?
Keeper: I'm Finder. You are Finder. I am Keeper.
Finder: Well, that's no fun. Not even a hint of your name?
Keeper: No. And I'm sure you know how all of this works.
Finder: Right. I, the finder, use my supernatural heebajeebies to find things for people, and you, the keeper, keep the finder in line.
Keeper: Maybe I should brief you properly.
Finder: Probably.
Keeper: As you know, you are a finder. You use those supernatural heebie jeebies of yours to find whatever the watchers, our employers of sorts, tell you to find. You fulfill the request of a client that needs something returned to them, and then you're sent to the next job, plain and simple.
Finder: When do we get to
Finder: the parts I don't know?
Keeper: And I am the keeper, specifically your keeper.
Finder: And why is it that we need a keeper?
Keeper: Because a finder left to their own devices can be a very bad thing.
Finder: But isn't it a punishment to become a keeper? Like, when a
Finder: finder does something bad, they're locked away until they're loyal again like us.
Keeper: In some cases, and I wouldn't call it loyalty.
Finder: So you do as they say because of the alternative,
Finder: and the only other option
Keeper: Is death.
Finder: What exactly did you do?
Keeper: I wasn't obedient enough to be like you.
Finder: Well, that's rude.
Keeper: Listen. Just think of us as detectives. We're partners, but my job is to keep track of you. If you slip, I let them know, And then, I catch you.
Finder: You catch me? Listen, buddy. Look at me, then look at you, then look at me again,
Finder: then maybe consider which of us is young enough to still run.
Keeper: I'm legitimately not that old.
Finder: You're totally allowed to lie to yourself. There's also the fact that I can do the poof thing.
Keeper: They taught her how to apparate. They didn't warn her. You shouldn't just, teleport in public.
Finder: That's boring. How'd you find me so fast?
Finder: What are your secrets?
Keeper: How did the guy that used to be a finder locate me in the only available on 100 feet we can do that in?
Finder: That's fair. That's fair.
Keeper: You know, we aren't supposed to just do that.
Finder: Right. Right. Right. Because then you'd have to try a little harder.
Keeper: I hate this job. I hate this job. I hate this job. They teach her how to apparate, but not how to hide. Yep.
That sounds about right.
Finder: Do you always appear on the left side?
Keeper: What? No. Why?
Finder: No reason. Just curious.
Keeper: We're not supposed to jump this much. We why are we doing this? I I just I
Finder: It worked. Hey, you don't always appear on the left side after all.
Keeper: Fuck. Jesus Christ. Before we go setting up any more garbage cans for me to run into, if we do this too much, we end up getting pulled here.
Finder: I remember that being the first time I had ever seen them. Those eyes Everywhere I looked, they were there. It was like I couldn't escape them. Even when I closed my eyes or at least, when I thought I did I could still see them watching, learning, feeding. I had so many questions and no voice to ask them.
Maybe it was the way Keeper casually strolled around with his hands in his pockets or how composed he was. Maybe it was a lot of things, but that was when things became clear. He had been there before. He understood something. Something I've only just recently begun to understand myself.
Something vital, but we'll get there.
Keeper: So you guys leaving it up to me to explain?
Finder: I guess that's a yes.
Keeper: So, kiddo, we're not supposed to apparate whenever we want.
Finder: Okay.
Keeper: If nothing else, it is a safety mechanism. These guys consider it a gift, but they don't like when you abuse their gifts. So if you use them too much
Finder: They bring you here?
Keeper: You're starting to catch on, kiddo. You'll figure out soon enough that what you see, they see. If you learn it, they know it. The Watchers are not something to understand. They are something hesitate, I will not.
Understood. We don't have to be friends, but I would prefer not to be your enemy. It is my job as a Keeper to ensure that you stay on task and do not deviate. That will always come first. Follow their orders, and we both keep breathing.
Okay? Shake on it.
Finder: I, yeah. By the way, you can call me
Keeper: Find her. I believe we have a job to do.
Finder: Was I right to shake his hand? I guess it doesn't matter. I did it, And we're here now.
Finder: Hey. Where are you going?
Keeper: To the client. We have a job to do.
Finder: Are we not going to talk about that?
Keeper: Isn't that what we just did?
Finder: Can we talk outside the big dark room with the creepy eyes everywhere?
Keeper: What's the difference?
Finder: Maybe the lack of eyes, maybe.
Keeper: The parts you need to know are really simple. If you do what you call the poof thing too much, they'll redirect you to that place the next time you abuse it. Any gift they give, really. If too many people see it, they have to cover it up, and they can't always cover it up with a pawn they have in PR. So remember what you might be doing to someone if they witness it.
You have to understand the dangers behind what you just did.
Finder: They
Finder: can they really just do that?
Keeper: Can you explain to me what you saw a minute ago? Are you going to arrest them for killing someone? How do you punish omnipotence?
Finder: But if we listen, we're fine?
Keeper: Hopefully. They aren't necessarily against us. They had the courtesy to spit us out at the right address.
Finder: I did not expect the building to be this big.
Keeper: Why did we take the elevator?
Finder: I I thought we weren't supposed to apparate. I don't know. The music is a nice touch. Should we have taken the stairs?
Keeper: That would have been a lot of stairs.
Finder: Yeah. Yeah. Long,
Finder: long way up.
Keeper: Yeah. Yeah.
Finder: So how long were you walked away?
Keeper: About 40 years.
Finder: That's a while.
Keeper: Yeah. Yeah.
Finder: So do you ever No. But I No. But
Keeper: thank God.
Finder: I didn't think it was that bad.
Keeper: I wish I could describe this feeling properly. After knocking on that door, it feels like something is crawling up my skin. I've experienced this before, but where? I'm trying to shake it off as my eyes focus on a small screen beside the door that lights up to show a middle aged man smiling at us.
Finder: Hi there. I expect to have an appointment. Can I get a name?
Keeper: The Finders Keeper.
Finder: That's the right answer. We've been anticipating your visit. Please proceed through the corridor and take the second left.
Keeper: Why is it that when that door opened just now, it staggered me, the feeling the walls give me right now. It's like a sickening laugh that won't let up. I I absolutely cannot place it. And as we enter this room, something about the way mister Stygian is sitting far across from us makes me uneasy. This this feeling is only growing.
Mr. Stygian: Thank you so much for being prompt. Have a seat.
Keeper: The lack of formalities is only making me more uneasy. No handshake, no welcome, just lingering expectations. Am I overreacting?
Mr. Stygian: I requested you because I wish to find something invaluable. Something that intrigues me beyond measure.
Keeper: What does that mean?
Finder: Alrighty. That's what we do. What can we help you find?
Mr. Stygian: Well, it may please you to know that I have found, but not acquired it. It. Acquired?
Finder: It means retrieved. You know, gotten.
Keeper: I know what it means, finder.
Mr. Stygian: Let's not worry ourselves with terminology. It's a wonderful occasion after all.
Finder: Good. See, Keeper? That's the kind of positivity you could use.
Mr. Stygian: See now, my friends, my lovely, talented friends, I have been searching for what one might call a grandiose amount of time for this. It's not often that one gets such a chance, as these chances are reserved only for the privileged. I suppose I happen to be one such lucky individual. Because here, you are now to aid me in the retrieval.
Keeper: I don't know what it is, but something about this man feels wrong to me. In this room. The entire apartment seems fairly large, so why do I feel the slightest bit trapped here? Like, there's more around us than just the contents of the apartment and the walls everywhere. Finder doesn't seem to notice it.
She walked in and sat down with no hesitation. Can she not feel this? It's almost deafening. I haven't heard a word he said since acquired, but something tells me that even if I had, they wouldn't be words I could trust. This this doesn't feel like a normal client.
Why are we really here? Finder looks so relaxed, and I can't even focus on my own thoughts because this feeling is consuming me. She's giving me the strangest look. She knows I've only been paying attention for half of the conversation. That much is clear.
But it's also morbidly transparent that she thinks I'm being rude.
Finder: Don't mind him. He just gets a little lost in thoughts sometimes.
Keeper: She is fucking clueless. But before I can say anything else, mister Stygian's on his feet, extending his hand. When did he stand up? I really shouldn't be so rude, so I stand, extending my own hand to shake his. That's when everything comes back to me, right as my hand firmly grasps his own.
It's been 45 years since I felt this, but I should have realized it sooner before the thin, smoky black tendrils extended from his sleeves and wrap around my wrist. Now, before I even have a chance to pull back, the searing pain gnaws at my arm like the whole thing has been submerged in an acid bath.
Finder: Let's get the fuck out of here.
Keeper: She's going to hold this over my head for the rest of my life, but I can think about this later. Exiting the room, I looked down the hall in horror as those same charred black tendrils begin to tear at the baseboards, freeing themselves. This was a trap the entire time.
Finder: I what do we do?
Keeper: Find her, we only have one option. Run. That doorway is its boundary.
Finder: How do you know that?
Keeper: I don't have time to explain this to you.
Finder: Why are you stopping? We gotta keep going.
Keeper: No. We're safe now. It's not coming out of there. And it's also likely not still in there.
Finder: Since you seem to have written an encyclopedia on these things, what was that?
Keeper: Short answer, we don't know.
Finder: Okay. Long answer?
Keeper: We don't know.
Finder: That's the same as the short answer.
Keeper: It's the only answer we have. Seriously? Look, all we know is that whatever that thing is, or whatever those things are, they take us.
Finder: What do you mean they take us?
Keeper: Finder, I wish I had a proper answer for you. They take both finders and keepers, Anyone with the ability. That's what we know. That, and if you look here at my hand, it's already scarred over. It's just that quick.
Finder: Okay. What do they do with us?
Keeper: We don't know that either. Anyone that's been taken by one has never been seen again. Gone without a trace. We don't even have theories because with as many as they've taken, they ain't gonna have anything in the world by now.
Finder: So we can assume the worst.
Keeper: Yeah. There's a way to tell if you're near one. I'd simply forgotten after such a long time what that felt like. You didn't get that feeling when we walked in.
Finder: Feeling? I mean, I got
Finder: a little nauseous, but I didn't think it would be a big deal.
Keeper: Is finder really that strong? I've never seen anyone so unaffected by this.
Finder: You're telling me that we have
Finder: a sense for them, but
Finder: we don't know what they are? Do you really expect me to believe that?
Keeper: Do you think the watchers would really share that deep of a secret with us? I
Finder: yeah. That's a good point. You would think that if this happens
Finder: so often, we'd know a little more.
Keeper: Oh, this? Yeah. No. This is only the 3rd time I've seen one. I was in my early thirties the last time I saw one.
Finder: 60 years ago?
Keeper: It was 45 years ago, and I told you we don't age in lockup.
Finder: Actually, you never explicitly stated that. Time works differently and all that nonsense.
Keeper: I thought that was clear enough for you.
Finder: I really feel like things like that are
Finder: kind of important not to just wax poetic about. But hold on. I'll grill you
Finder: for it later. But you said these are rare?
Keeper: Extremely.
Finder: Okay. Great. So I'm on a hero's journey or something?
Keeper: Let's not give ourselves main character syndrome here.
Finder: I will do whatever I want right now because I just went through a lot. I swear, I don't care if you're 80 years old. I will fight you.
Keeper: Technically, I'm only in my seventies logistically. I was 35 when they locked me away. 40 years passed and I did not age physically. I was in there for longer than I wasn't.
Finder: It's all the same to me, buddy. Now fold those wrinkles up and maybe explain what just happened a little better.
Keeper: Looks like I don't really have time to explain. We have another job.
Finder: Are you reading that off of a pager? You are old.
Keeper: I'll let you know these things were extremely cool before I got put away.
Finder: Whatever, felon. Let's just hope this next job doesn't kill us. This also does not mean you can't explain. We're on the way.
Keeper: Maybe one day when you're old enough.
Finder: If only everything had stayed exactly like that. If we had never learned anything else. Should we have pride? No. It's a little late to be asking that question.
What doesn't kill you might make you stronger, but it still hurts. And just because it made you stronger, doesn't mean it had to happen. But now we're the worm, and we haven't gotten any better at hiding.
Outro: You have just listened to the first episode of The Finder's Keeper, a Stygian Catalyst production created during Pod Jam with the podcast book club. What are the Watchers, and whose life did Finder have to take in the end? I guess we'll find out in the future. The Finder's Keeper was written by Maddie Girouard and Landon Whisnant. Sound design was by Landon Whisnant.
Finder was voiced by Maddie Girouard. Keeper was by Landon Whisnant, and Mr. Stygian was voiced by Randy Lovings. You know what else came out today for Pod Jam? Space Specs and Working Tidal. So go give those a listen, because remember, they are always watching.