Speaker 1: Welcome back to beardless, dickless me twenty twenty five. I'm
Speaker 1: Kevin Smith.
Speaker 2: I'm Harley Quinn Smith.
Speaker 1: That's right. We're in the fucking future. Kids, it's happened. Well,
Speaker 1: we're not. We're in the past recording this.
Speaker 3: Actually, yeah, that's true. We're in the past.
Speaker 1: We don't even know what twenty twenty five looks like.
Speaker 3: I hope it's good. I'm really I'm really hoping that.
Speaker 1: God, that's your fucking move. Hope it's good.
Speaker 2: I hope it's good.
Speaker 3: I'm really hoping we're fucked.
Speaker 1: If that's the case. I thought you were coming with
Speaker 1: a plan all you came with a hope. Thank god, kid,
Speaker 1: we spent all months ago we got nothing.
Speaker 3: Now it's gonna be great.
Speaker 1: You got to come with a plan. How are you
Speaker 1: gonna make twenty twenty five thrive?
Speaker 2: I'm gonna put out music. I'm gonna write sounds like
Speaker 2: you do a plan.
Speaker 3: Write more music.
Speaker 1: Sounds like you have a plan beyond the plan, And.
Speaker 2: I'm going to write a script.
Speaker 1: Oh look at you, that's your twenty twenty five.
Speaker 2: We got big plans.
Speaker 1: Okay, what are are you a resolutions person?
Speaker 2: I am kind of but more just like goals, but
Speaker 2: that is what resolution?
Speaker 1: You know, like this is mad newslution.
Speaker 3: Is that a song?
Speaker 1: I think so. It's like a radio hit, like fucking
Speaker 1: that was.
Speaker 2: I think that.
Speaker 1: This is my reason. I think it was like on
Speaker 1: an episode of Donnie Marie or some shit ship, like
Speaker 1: some variety show where they had to fucking sing about
Speaker 1: New Year's or resolutions. It stuck with me and what not?
Speaker 1: Do you have aside from the ones the aforementioned.
Speaker 3: Mum hum, like more goals?
Speaker 1: Yeah? There? Do you go from up there? I got
Speaker 1: goals and goals, goals, goals, all kinds of goals, big goals,
Speaker 1: little goals, lost goals.
Speaker 2: Okay, I would love to be like ripped.
Speaker 3: I'd love to get super.
Speaker 1: Strong, oh like muscle and ship.
Speaker 2: Don't say it like that, but yeah, yes, I want
Speaker 2: to be strong.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean, you know what, You're not wrong to
Speaker 1: want to be strong. It ain't wrong to be strong. Yeah,
Speaker 1: come on, now, Like fucking you see Sidney Sweeney taking
Speaker 1: a lot of ship online. Yeah, but she's playing a
Speaker 1: boxer in the movie and she got all like kind
Speaker 1: of buff cool, and then a bunch of people online
Speaker 1: were like fucking chill, good, no more. It's like, that's crazy,
Speaker 1: that's your nuts, that kind of buff because you don't
Speaker 1: want to do that. Sidney Sween. These boys they like
Speaker 1: they were ribbandey a little bit, doe. It's just a
Speaker 1: little bit.
Speaker 3: Let me take that into it.
Speaker 1: I don't even know what the average American male wants
Speaker 1: anymore in a world where like online, like the most
Speaker 1: you know, fucking beautiful women in our business like are
Speaker 1: picked apart. You know, where somebody can look at a
Speaker 1: fucking Sidney Sweeney has just been lifting some weights and like.
Speaker 3: Ew, yeah, insane.
Speaker 1: I mean I tried, like I really every once in
Speaker 1: a while I remember that, like I got I put
Speaker 1: the internet in perspective of the day that somebody called
Speaker 1: Quenton like the worst filmmaker ever, and I was like, well,
Speaker 1: I know for a fact he's wanted the best, so
Speaker 1: like then put through this filter, all the ship is suspect.
Speaker 3: I have some questions.
Speaker 1: I mean, good lord, yeah, but yes, I what was
Speaker 1: my original point? Oh yeah, stay off, booze, Right, what
Speaker 1: was I talking about? Rambling about? Fucking Yeah, I was
Speaker 1: not for me.
Speaker 2: I would love well, you know what, I'm not looking
Speaker 2: for it.
Speaker 1: To be for you.
Speaker 4: It's for me.
Speaker 1: What do you mean you're not looking for it to
Speaker 1: be for me? I thought everything was for fucking me.
Speaker 2: Wait wait a second, everything should Yeah wait I'm baffled.
Speaker 1: Wait so you want to get all muscly and.
Speaker 3: Ship that would be so cool.
Speaker 1: I just go to the Hamilton and Terminator too.
Speaker 5: Sure.
Speaker 1: They made a big deal about that when that movie
Speaker 1: came out and was like Joe rip she is. They
Speaker 1: did news reports man like twenty twenty Lynda Hamilton is ripped?
Speaker 1: What's what's your fucking excuse? And then they would show
Speaker 1: her like working out Now she got all fucking ripped
Speaker 1: for Tea too, she is.
Speaker 3: She's like, you see how ripped Genesis is? She's so ripped.
Speaker 1: Not only did I see how ripped Genesis is, that's
Speaker 1: a lot more Genesis than I ever wanted to Without
Speaker 1: any warning whatsoever, she didn't have the fucking courtesy to
Speaker 1: be like, uh bruh. At one point in Linus, I
Speaker 1: take a shower.
Speaker 2: Why would she say that?
Speaker 1: Because we're friends, and it's like, you know, fucking that's weird.
Speaker 1: She's like a like a like, yeah, I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: say she's like a daughter to me, but she's like
Speaker 1: young enough and like that was just weird. It's like
Speaker 1: seeing my sister naked.
Speaker 6: It was just like she's not being said.
Speaker 1: Though, she's fucking ripped. I mean, I didn't need the
Speaker 1: shower scene to see how rip but like, fucking she's
Speaker 1: all throughout the whole thing. Do you want to be
Speaker 1: like that? Why don't you reach out to her and
Speaker 1: be like how that happened? And she'd be like, I
Speaker 1: got paid that fucking tailor shared in money. That's literally
Speaker 1: is it tie shared? No tailor shared.
Speaker 2: It's either high Taylor.
Speaker 1: Because there's another tailor's. It's the year of tailor's eras
Speaker 1: in Yosemite. Ty Sheridan was in a movie I watched
Speaker 1: last night called The Order with Jude Law and Journey Smollett.
Speaker 1: It was on the Oscar.
Speaker 2: App Oh was it? When are you gonna give me
Speaker 2: the log into the Oscars tribe?
Speaker 1: Here's the funny thing. Harley was like, can I you're
Speaker 1: ac act watch things? And I was like, yeah, just
Speaker 1: don't tell the fucking academy and they'll take it away
Speaker 1: from me. So everybody don't tell you the academy. So I
Speaker 1: gave it to her and then she downloaded the apps
Speaker 1: you watch on her Apple TV, and I gave her
Speaker 1: the logins and then there's one, you know, final layer
Speaker 1: of code, like where they text a number that you
Speaker 1: have to insert a code and Harley's like, what number
Speaker 1: is this? I was like, Oh, ask Carol. Carol runs
Speaker 1: the business. Carol is the best money manager on the planet.
Speaker 1: Spend with me for like damn near thirty years. But
Speaker 1: this is how good Carol is. A thing was that
Speaker 1: fucking shit the you know, the pedal on the bike
Speaker 1: a peloton? So during COVID hardly got a peloton. When
Speaker 1: I guess you joined Peloton, like you had to pay
Speaker 1: like twelve bucks a month. There was a whole year.
Speaker 1: Carol spent a year trying to cancel the Pelotons wasn't
Speaker 1: even mine And she would be like Harley, like, you know,
Speaker 1: this is twelve dollars a.
Speaker 2: Month and it wasn't you got my account.
Speaker 1: You gotta get on the kid to cancel this.
Speaker 2: It was mom's account the whole time. And I kept saying, I,
Speaker 2: this is not mine. I wish I could help you,
Speaker 2: but there was.
Speaker 1: A bill for like four dollars and eighty cents. Carol
Speaker 1: wanted to reimburst from Harley. Harley was outraged, so Carol
Speaker 1: spent as with it. I mean, I've you know, the
Speaker 1: only reason I have any money ever is thanks to
Speaker 1: Carol because she, you know, fucking takes care of it all.
Speaker 1: Won't let anybody take advantage of me, even.
Speaker 2: Even me trying to use your fatex account. I can't.
Speaker 2: I can't even do that.
Speaker 1: Harley was like, whose number is this? And I was
Speaker 1: like Carol, and then that was that the conversation died.
Speaker 1: She didn't fucking use the oscar app. So if the
Speaker 1: Academy's listening like, can't get people your oscar aps like,
Speaker 1: don't worry, don't worry. Yeah, Carol stopped that did Carol
Speaker 1: did nothing? It just would have taken hardly to be like.
Speaker 4: Carol, do you have the code that they just sent
Speaker 4: you that I can insert into.
Speaker 1: The oscar app? And then Carol had been like, where's
Speaker 1: my four dollars and eighty fucking cents? She wouldn't say mi,
Speaker 1: she'd be like, where's your father's four dollars and eighty cents?
Speaker 1: Hardly could have been like he gave it to me?
Speaker 1: Where she'd be like, oh no, I didn't get a
Speaker 1: memo about that me, please have code. So instead of
Speaker 1: simply asking for the forges of code, hardly just went without.
Speaker 7: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Now missing all these free movies?
Speaker 1: Now, man, how you gonna never see nice?
Speaker 3: I need to see it.
Speaker 1: That opened today, I really need to see it? All right,
Speaker 1: New year, mm hmm new opportunities.
Speaker 2: I'm hoping.
Speaker 1: Man present one too. Oh Lord, have you given a
Speaker 1: thought to the world of pageantry being.
Speaker 2: A miss something, a missed market? Perhaps truly?
Speaker 1: I think if you were like, like, where are we,
Speaker 1: uh you know, miss start with miss your hometown, Miss Hollywood,
Speaker 1: Move on to Miss los Angeles.
Speaker 2: I scream, Miss Hollywood move Oh my god, look at me,
Speaker 2: Miss Hollywood, not you.
Speaker 1: Man, set the standard. Then Miss los Angeles.
Speaker 2: Then Miss California or or the greater Los Angeles County.
Speaker 1: Yes, the Southland area. Then Miss Southern California, So cauntaul,
Speaker 1: how do we miss that? Then Miss California. Okay, Now
Speaker 1: for all this, you got to remain single. And once
Speaker 1: you enter the pageant life, that's good ten years of
Speaker 1: your fucking run. So how old are you right now?
Speaker 1: Twenty five? That means you're gonna be doing pageants till
Speaker 1: you're thirty five. You can't get married.
Speaker 2: Till then I can't even be engaged, but I can't
Speaker 2: even be with.
Speaker 1: You can be with him on the slot. You can't
Speaker 1: be publicly and shit because you got an image.
Speaker 3: Uh huh.
Speaker 1: You waar to crown the scepter and shit like that.
Speaker 3: Uh huh.
Speaker 1: And then you know your spokeswoman. You do a lot
Speaker 1: of this ship right, But what you can't be doing
Speaker 1: is fucking no boys. You can give the illusion that
Speaker 1: maybe you can't even do this, but if the audience
Speaker 1: thinks maybe she sucking a girl, that's okay for some reason.
Speaker 1: But for Miss America, they're like no dick for a year.
Speaker 1: I never heard of a Miss America. That's just like
Speaker 1: me and my boyfriend.
Speaker 3: Bitch, why would I want this scenario?
Speaker 1: A lot of money?
Speaker 3: How much?
Speaker 1: The right question? Finally asking that right question, how much?
Speaker 1: Let's see is it traditionally Miss America. Let's see what
Speaker 1: Miss America earns? Like, what the what comes with the prize?
Speaker 2: So far this deal is not sounding great.
Speaker 1: Let's see miss what does Miss America make?
Speaker 2: Is it? Miss America?
Speaker 5: Kid me?
Speaker 1: This is like, this is great? What does.
Speaker 2: Is it.
Speaker 1: She is? There's a guy named Burt Parks, who the
Speaker 1: host for years and years.
Speaker 3: He type like such an old man.
Speaker 1: One finger right, yeah, but I had to hold the phone.
Speaker 1: What do you take a two finger like this?
Speaker 2: Yeah? He never texts with two fingers. It's always one.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I hunt and peck, but super fucking fast. No,
Speaker 1: you're like boopepepep, like I'm dialing a fucking phone. Miss
Speaker 1: America is an annual competition. Yeah, I know, bro. The
Speaker 1: winner receives the title of Miss America.
Speaker 2: Oh, as I could imagine, And yeah, it's kind.
Speaker 1: Of goes without saying. And at least fifty thousand dollars
Speaker 1: in scholarships, so so wow, not marrying Austin for a decade.
Speaker 1: Fifty thousand scholarships. The title holder also spends a year
Speaker 1: traveling in the country to advocate for a social issue
Speaker 1: of her choice.
Speaker 3: Yours would be animal advocacy.
Speaker 1: What exactly like chicken?
Speaker 3: We like chicken too, veganism, veganism.
Speaker 1: Animal pro animal veganism.
Speaker 2: Animal rights advocacy, Animal rights advocacy.
Speaker 1: So you go to towns and you're like, I love animals.
Speaker 4: Here's a video of me as a child, and.
Speaker 1: I have animals.
Speaker 2: Fifty thousand dollars in scholarship.
Speaker 1: Yeah, man, so you can go to like, you know,
Speaker 1: trade school, Oh, fucking DeVry Academy. You know, fucking to
Speaker 1: Kobe and Myers. Now it's a law firm. Oh you
Speaker 1: can afford Jacoby and Myers at that point fifty thousand
Speaker 1: in scholarship money. I didn't know scholarship. So Miss America,
Speaker 1: you gotta be pretty young, all right, so let's read.
Speaker 1: Let me scale back. It ain't ten years, okay, is
Speaker 1: a year? You and Austin can't get married for a year.
Speaker 3: I don't make fifteen.
Speaker 1: Thousand bucks, but you'reing me Miss America. Everybody knows who
Speaker 1: Miss America is.
Speaker 2: I don't think I want this. Why I don't think
Speaker 2: I want Every.
Speaker 1: Young woman dreams of being.
Speaker 2: I've dreamt of it for so long.
Speaker 1: Your fucking mom pushing she's gonna be fifty four, still
Speaker 1: talks about her sleep. She's like, and I think I'm advocating.
Speaker 3: Charity home, So thank you for this tier charity.
Speaker 2: Do you know that Carl has a foundation. It's called
Speaker 2: the Kisses for Carl Foundation. It's where she accepts your kisses.
Speaker 1: Thanks them for later.
Speaker 2: Yeahs, Kisses for Carl Foundation.
Speaker 1: Pussy's worn herself out for charity.
Speaker 2: No, it's where I just kissed carl se.
Speaker 1: Your charity, your charity, I don't know. Let's go back
Speaker 1: to reality. So you miss America for a years, one year,
Speaker 1: fifty thousand dollars in scholarship. But you're fucking famous, bruh.
Speaker 2: For the things that I want though, Give a ship
Speaker 2: to America.
Speaker 1: Be famous for whatever you can. You talk to a
Speaker 1: hawk to a girl, she'll.
Speaker 2: Tell you, Oh my god, you know what that is?
Speaker 1: The hawk to a girl? I mean, I'm fucking alive.
Speaker 2: I didn't even know what it was.
Speaker 1: Did he find out about her because of her crypto scam?
Speaker 1: That's when she popped up on his radaro?
Speaker 2: No, Nick told him and he was Nick referenced her
Speaker 2: and Austin was like, who is that Haley?
Speaker 3: And we were like, bro, sure.
Speaker 2: Where are you been?
Speaker 1: I find that?
Speaker 8: Where are you?
Speaker 3: He also didn't know who, like, I.
Speaker 1: Think your boyfriend may have been replaced by an android
Speaker 1: or a manroid. Yeah, and somebody forgot to program something
Speaker 1: like that, because who don't fucking know.
Speaker 2: Who that girl is there? He's weirdly like out of
Speaker 2: touch with pop culture. I would have to say, yeah, I.
Speaker 1: Mean look you know, I'm not like I wish I
Speaker 1: was in him. I don't want to know what the
Speaker 1: function is either. But like you know, it's not like
Speaker 1: he's cells holding on to something. You know, we can't
Speaker 1: what was it? Like Sherlock Holmes said, in order to
Speaker 1: hold on to all the things he had, he had
Speaker 1: to let go of some other things. In order to
Speaker 1: hold on to hawk To he would have.
Speaker 2: To go something a core memory for exactly the.
Speaker 1: Deep core memory. It was just like my grandma was
Speaker 1: really love letting me. One day. It's like, let go
Speaker 1: of that because you need to notice shit. One day
Speaker 1: this girl was like hawk too on that thing. But wait,
Speaker 1: my grandma, I let her go for that. Why oh
Speaker 1: my god, oh god, yeah she is. But yeah, man,
Speaker 1: fucking I ain't saying like model of your life on her,
Speaker 1: but holy shit, start saying some clever shit.
Speaker 3: So true.
Speaker 1: We got a camera running on you. What's a how'd
Speaker 1: they get hurt? Was the thing all men love in bed?
Speaker 1: Go make something up, Go like the father Dave. No,
Speaker 1: Like that's when you're like, oh, on that bag.
Speaker 2: This is crazy.
Speaker 1: Put that on a T shirt and shit, you don't
Speaker 1: need to be famous forever. Just like you know, fifteen minutes,
Speaker 1: like Andy Warrel said, he predicted this shit. You know that, right, No,
Speaker 1: it's Andy Warrel, you know that is of course, so
Speaker 1: Andy Warhol is one of many things he's famous for.
Speaker 1: Is the expression in the future. Let me say it
Speaker 1: as Andy would in the future, everyone would be famous
Speaker 1: for fifteen minutes. You're him, he was prophetic.
Speaker 2: That's that's pretty that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, except he's off by shouldn't be minutes seconds at
Speaker 1: this point. Yeah, his only last real fucking long and everyone,
Speaker 1: but I mean everyone can be famous for fifteen seconds.
Speaker 1: I have to say something fucking clever, do a fucking TikTok.
Speaker 1: I watched a video about now you want to talk
Speaker 1: about somebody who's out of the loop. You know, I
Speaker 1: may know who the Hawk Tour girl is, but I
Speaker 1: didn't know who the Island Boys were.
Speaker 3: I don't know who the Island Boys are.
Speaker 1: I didn't miss anything. But apparently the whole fucking world
Speaker 1: knew who they were for a red hot minute, and
Speaker 1: somebody did like this deep dive video on what happened
Speaker 1: to him? And I was like, what happened to him?
Speaker 1: Like what happened to me? But I missed this because
Speaker 1: it seemed like something everybody fucking knew about, like the
Speaker 1: Hawk Tour Girl. So they were two like kids who
Speaker 1: had like crazy aircuts, and they put tattoos all of
Speaker 1: it her fucking faces and kept putting more, thinking like
Speaker 1: this is gonna last forever. But they got famous off
Speaker 1: like an Instagram or TikTok where they're just sitting in
Speaker 1: the pool going like Island Boys, a near second figure.
Speaker 1: They blew up and they tried to turn it into
Speaker 1: a real act, but then people like boot them on
Speaker 1: stage and shit, I mean it was the epitome of
Speaker 1: like fifteen minutes or fifteen seconds. So somebody did this
Speaker 1: steep dive video on him, one of these YouTubers, and
Speaker 1: did it like a fucking breakdown of everything they did
Speaker 1: over the course of like one year to see how
Speaker 1: much they made at the height of their Oh wow,
Speaker 1: and this is I think in light of the Hawk
Speaker 1: Tour Girl. Helly got in trouble because of the crypto scam,
Speaker 1: Like she made a fuck ton of money, but like
Speaker 1: a bunch of everyone else got fucked and now like
Speaker 1: people are looking into it, the government's looking.
Speaker 3: Into Are you serious?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, she's she ain't gonna go to jail. But
Speaker 1: the company that she worked with apparently say, oh, her
Speaker 1: podcast called talk to.
Speaker 2: Her, Ah, is it for real? You know that that's
Speaker 2: fucking awesome?
Speaker 1: Okay, And so we should have called this legend talk to.
Speaker 2: Her, talk to us? So good she.
Speaker 1: Would have had to work with us. We could have
Speaker 1: a crossover and like that right now, then people will
Speaker 1: be trying to cancel us because they're like, you're part
Speaker 1: of that fucking crypto scam.
Speaker 2: Dan, are you familiar with the wristler?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yes, I saw him and didn't know about the wrestler
Speaker 2: boom guys, the.
Speaker 1: Cost coke, Oh who are they? Also it's a father
Speaker 1: and a son who eat like costcoat food and graded
Speaker 1: on a scale of booms like the Costcoat chicken. It's
Speaker 1: good three booms, boom, boom boom. They're fucking billionaires. And
Speaker 1: so I'm saying, get going, dude. The time is I
Speaker 1: missed my window, I had my chance, I took my shot.
Speaker 1: I'm the clerk's guy. It's all all over. Be you
Speaker 1: got a chance. You could be as big as the wrizzler. Oh,
Speaker 1: as big as the fucking Costco guys. They got a
Speaker 1: whole fucking song we bringed up boom, it's got a
Speaker 1: billion views?
Speaker 2: Are you serious?
Speaker 1: Billion lessons?
Speaker 3: Fuck telling me youays don't have.
Speaker 1: To be fucking you don't need a I overshot like
Speaker 1: with making a whole ass movie and ship.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you really should have fucking.
Speaker 1: I should have been a creature man.
Speaker 3: Should have known better.
Speaker 1: I know. No, I'm not good at short subject. It
Speaker 1: takes me a long time to tell the story. But
Speaker 1: the Rizzler.
Speaker 2: But the Rizzler, he knows what's going on.
Speaker 1: Storytelling magician him, the Wrizzler and fucking the Costco guys
Speaker 1: who are buddies and new crossover videos and ship but
Speaker 1: completely unrelated, even though when you see all three of
Speaker 1: them together you're like, oh, there's one big family, but
Speaker 1: they're not. They were on, uh, Jimmy Fallon.
Speaker 2: The Wrizzler was on Jimmy Fallon.
Speaker 1: Yes, and it was so weird because then weird acting
Speaker 1: in a way where like they were like wait a second,
Speaker 1: but not like why does Jimmy Fallon have them on?
Speaker 1: They were like why are they even bothering with Jimmy
Speaker 1: Fallon and Legacy Media, Like really, these guys, like if
Speaker 1: you look at even if you just did YouTube hits.
Speaker 1: The Whistler is billions more than fucking like, you know,
Speaker 1: the Tonight Show gets and then Side Show gets some
Speaker 1: pretty healthy fucking hits, but like, these cats get way more.
Speaker 1: So it's like they're they're doing fucking legacy media favor
Speaker 1: at least as far as online goes, And let's be honest,
Speaker 1: that's all that matters anymore.
Speaker 2: The Rizzler, God, Wriztler is king.
Speaker 3: Wrizzler is king in.
Speaker 1: In this era. Wow, Wrizzler wants to team up with
Speaker 1: Miss America.
Speaker 2: Oh Wow, whoa, we're taking it there.
Speaker 1: So you're not getting again, it's only fifty thousand dollars
Speaker 1: in scholarship.
Speaker 2: I don't want.
Speaker 1: So you get to go to the school choice. Well
Speaker 1: maybe you think rethink that, but what you do is
Speaker 1: you're spending a year on the road with the Wrizzler
Speaker 1: and the Costco guys. Oh my god, every stop you
Speaker 1: get up talk about the animal. The first Wrizzler gets
Speaker 1: up opens for you, people go fucking crazy, Oh my lord.
Speaker 1: Then the Costco boys come out and they fucking do
Speaker 1: we bring the boom? Then they introduce you and you
Speaker 1: get up and talk about you know, fucking animal rights
Speaker 1: and ship and you find out by the second stop
Speaker 1: then nobody gives a fuck about animal rights.
Speaker 9: Like, God, we don't give a shit about you the animals.
Speaker 9: We walked up boom, Oh my.
Speaker 1: God, you're like, that's miss America. I need to bring
Speaker 1: attention to the ammals.
Speaker 2: That sounds. But it's like a nightmare. Bro.
Speaker 1: Well you know it's not meant to be pleasant. You
Speaker 1: gotta pay your dues. But you're getting like your Instagram
Speaker 1: blows up.
Speaker 2: Bro, you're doing like you got to not really like
Speaker 2: what I care about in life.
Speaker 1: Well, we're not done because with so many Instagram followers,
Speaker 1: your little Instagram club membership.
Speaker 2: Oh bruh, duh, the subscribers.
Speaker 1: That's right. So whatever you got now, time is it
Speaker 1: by ten thousand? Okay, time whatever money comes through by
Speaker 1: ten thousand. Dang, that's what I'm saying. That's the power
Speaker 1: of the fucking cost code guys, and the Wrizzler and
Speaker 1: a little bit by for a year, one year straight.
Speaker 2: And Austin.
Speaker 1: Because people have to think that you might marry the
Speaker 1: rizzlerler like the eight Yeah, in their head, they're shipping
Speaker 1: you in the Rizzler. They call you, they call you
Speaker 1: Hizzler or Raarley Hizzler his wrizzler, Harley in the Rizzlerler.
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is gonna be in the relationship.
Speaker 1: What you don't have to fucking even kiss this kid.
Speaker 1: You just gotta let the audience. You gotta let the
Speaker 1: audience think that when he grows up you will marry. Look,
Speaker 1: let's be honest, By the time, in one year's time,
Speaker 1: nobody can remember any of this. But for one year,
Speaker 1: you want to feed the narrative a little bit. You
Speaker 1: don't even to feed the narry. You just don't have
Speaker 1: to correct the narrative. People like she's gonna wait for
Speaker 1: the rizzler and when he's old, when he's legal, they're
Speaker 1: gonna get married.
Speaker 3: This is the creepiest thing I've ever heard of.
Speaker 1: The reason America thinks it's adorable, they don't think it's
Speaker 1: creepy at all.
Speaker 2: This is no question, hard pass, the hardest pass I
Speaker 2: could pass on.
Speaker 1: Moms like this, I feel like I didn't raise your
Speaker 1: right seem like an instant.
Speaker 2: Yes, absolutely, one year's time.
Speaker 3: Huge pass.
Speaker 1: And he's a nice kid, the wrestler like you actually
Speaker 1: like hanging out with him. I'm not gonna say like
Speaker 1: slowly fall in love this saint pretty woman for some shit.
Speaker 1: But like you do, You're like, legit, You're like it's funny.
Speaker 2: Couldn't pass harder. If I try to spend a lot.
Speaker 1: Of time on a bus going from city to city,
Speaker 1: I don't watch and the wrizzler makes the time go by.
Speaker 1: He likes playing Mario Kart with you, and like the
Speaker 1: whole time, he's making funny voices. And he's a kid,
Speaker 1: so he farts a lot, and you think that's hysterical.
Speaker 1: Oh right, I'm telling you, man, And like, and look,
Speaker 1: this wrizzler is making serious money. So he's like, currently,
Speaker 1: have you bank me my babysitting? He paye you like
Speaker 1: ten ten thousand dollars a week. Just this is the no,
Speaker 1: this is amazing. Ten thousand dollars a week. Hold on
Speaker 1: two weeks in a year, it's like five hundred and
Speaker 1: twenty thousand dollars soever. So this is like when you're
Speaker 1: the president. You get one salary, but then all the
Speaker 1: perks that come in and shit, you've got you know,
Speaker 1: the fifty thousand dollars scholarship money going course, of course,
Speaker 1: anytime you think about going to college at age twenty.
Speaker 2: Most appealing part it's there for you too late.
Speaker 1: It's that Wristler money that spends Bro five hundred thousand
Speaker 1: dollars for one year, and you're hanging out with a
Speaker 1: kid that you legit like you're fan, and you remain you.
Speaker 2: Don't like this. The world thinks I'm gonna be with
Speaker 2: the Wristler.
Speaker 1: I mean again, they'll forget, They're gonna forget twelve years.
Speaker 1: It's like, uh, do you remember the first year of
Speaker 1: American Idol you were around for, you were alive, we
Speaker 1: didn't watch it, but remember there was like Justin and
Speaker 1: Kelly and they made a whole movie from Justin to Kelly,
Speaker 1: and Kelly is like she hosts the show now right,
Speaker 1: like she's yeah, sins thing, She's true. Then there was
Speaker 1: a boy with curly hair named Justin who was her equal.
Speaker 1: They both fucking won or she won and he was
Speaker 1: second place or whatever the fuck runner up, and they
Speaker 1: were always inseparable. And now nobody fucking remembers any of that.
Speaker 1: They know her though, because she's currently got a show
Speaker 1: as you and a Rizzler that's me and yeah, like
Speaker 1: for nothing ten years time, nobody remembers the rizzler. But
Speaker 1: you get your own fucking talk show. You're making the
Speaker 1: insane fucking money at age forty five. At age forty.
Speaker 3: Five, bro, I don't want a talk show.
Speaker 1: Nobody wants a talk show. But is all boats Well's
Speaker 1: I would love to talk, she would love a talk show.
Speaker 1: Just get it for me. Take the talk show and
Speaker 1: like Sam your system. But then like you start calling
Speaker 1: out sick every week and I'm taking on three four
Speaker 1: shows a week.
Speaker 2: Oh my dad's gonna have to take over today, right.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, welcome back, everybody, Hardy's sick again. I'm
Speaker 1: sick in any event, Welcome to the Kevin Show, Kevin,
Speaker 1: just like I'm so tired of Kevin Show. She turns
Speaker 1: it off, The Kevin Show. I'm telling you this ain't
Speaker 1: a bad thing. Nobody's saying you got to sleep with
Speaker 1: these people.
Speaker 2: It's all.
Speaker 3: It's all and no, really, it's all in know.
Speaker 1: See it's that kind of snobbishness, you know that fucking
Speaker 1: number one don't come from me and comes there number two. Wow,
Speaker 1: the look, because I'd be all over this. They have
Speaker 1: the boom boys or whatever the fuck the costco kids.
Speaker 2: This is this is just your hopes for twenty twenty five.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's my I'm projecting my dreams into you. Like
Speaker 1: most parents, I'm like, I failed live out my dreams.
Speaker 2: Your dream is to tour with the Wrizzler.
Speaker 1: Means make that fucking to have.
Speaker 2: You could probably tour with the Rizzler.
Speaker 1: I ain't big enough. I'm sure the rizl be like,
Speaker 1: who is this fucking creepy old man and his dad?
Speaker 1: Maybe maybe his dad might be like, hey, he made quicks.
Speaker 1: I think they're very New York or whatever, so maybe,
Speaker 1: but I doubt it. That guy seems way hup burn
Speaker 1: that shit, so like they wouldn't know him. I ain't
Speaker 1: doing them no favors unless they're like, oh, you make
Speaker 1: the movies. We want to make a movie.
Speaker 2: I'm like, all right, oh my god, can you make
Speaker 2: a movie with the Wrizzler?
Speaker 1: I mean, are you flipping the hypothetical on me? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'll start building it. Let me see, sweeten the pot.
Speaker 1: I can't just leave it there. Oh my god. I
Speaker 1: spent twenty minutes building a world, and you're like, would
Speaker 1: you make a movie with the wrestler? Man? All right,
Speaker 1: my nipples get there, get me there.
Speaker 2: That's horrible. That's horrible. Okay, So you get to make
Speaker 2: a movie with the Rizzler, and it.
Speaker 1: Makes if I drowned because the mic might olious and
Speaker 1: you just first keep drinking and I bu drought.
Speaker 3: He just avoided an accident.
Speaker 1: And you're like, I should have told him. I would
Speaker 1: have loved working with the That's all I wanted to hear.
Speaker 2: Here's the here's the thing, all right, you get to
Speaker 2: make a movie.
Speaker 3: With the Wrizzler.
Speaker 2: You what do you mean I get to well, just
Speaker 2: wait a second, gets to make a movie man.
Speaker 1: That we start there. Yes, no, you're right. Rizzlor's got
Speaker 1: more power. Whizzer's like my Ryan Gosling to my Ruben
Speaker 1: Fleischer on fucking you know it was that Gangland Murders
Speaker 1: whatever that fucking movie was called. He's definitely got the
Speaker 1: upper hand here. If the studio is gonna fire anybody,
Speaker 1: it's gonna be me. So, yes, you're right, this is
Speaker 1: Wrizzler's movie.
Speaker 2: It gross is a billion Oh my god.
Speaker 1: That's all every dream about. But I don't even care
Speaker 1: if it's Wrestler's movie.
Speaker 2: The way you get to that, yeah, you have to
Speaker 2: stand on a rock in the middle of the ocean.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, we're back out of my God. At
Speaker 1: least you're consistent, I mean an answer.
Speaker 2: For five years straight.
Speaker 1: Five Ye. The Whistler is gonna be like twenty eight
Speaker 1: by the time I'm done with this labor of hercules.
Speaker 1: That gets me to working with the rizzler.
Speaker 3: But you get to make a billion.
Speaker 1: Dollars in five years?
Speaker 2: Yeah, five years. You're gone out of our lives for
Speaker 2: five years because you're too busy standing on the rocks.
Speaker 1: And a little too fucking excitedly. You're gone out of
Speaker 1: our lives for five years, five mercifully pleasant years, quiet years. Yeah, yeah, yeah, No,
Speaker 1: for five fucking years.
Speaker 2: You're gonna pass up a billion dollar grossing film.
Speaker 1: I have no upper body strength. These babies are falling
Speaker 1: into the mouths of sharks. Yes, I'd make five billion,
Speaker 1: but I'm forever. Everyone's like, that's the guy's too weak
Speaker 1: to hold five babies in the shark eight fucking four
Speaker 1: one and ate the leg off a fifth eight four
Speaker 1: and a quarter babies because he ain't strong.
Speaker 2: You're in the middle of a tropical storm, ario, man,
Speaker 2: so you have to also hold the babies through a
Speaker 2: tropical storm.
Speaker 1: You're making it harder. Yeah, I already told you I'm
Speaker 1: gonna drop the babies.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I mean no, do you want the billiona
Speaker 2: or no?
Speaker 1: Wait, but if I dropped the babies, I'm gonna lose
Speaker 1: billion anyway.
Speaker 2: No, you just have to live with the fight that
Speaker 2: you dropped.
Speaker 1: Them very much. Five billion. I think I can handle that.
Speaker 2: You still get it.
Speaker 1: You'd be like, what am I? I didn't I'm a
Speaker 1: victim too.
Speaker 2: But you know the parents of the babies, and you
Speaker 2: have to tell them that I dropped the baby into
Speaker 2: the mouth of a shark.
Speaker 1: Do I get to break off like a billion for them?
Speaker 1: Because that would really go a long way towards sat
Speaker 1: and the wound. No, I'm not gonna say the.
Speaker 2: Movie grossed a billion, so you're not getting five billion?
Speaker 1: What am I getting?
Speaker 5: Umm?
Speaker 2: B right, I don't want that one million?
Speaker 3: Uh gotta be at least a billion dollars? A honeymal.
Speaker 2: A hundred?
Speaker 1: Is that a new figure? Oh? One hundred mili one
Speaker 1: hundred million dollars? And what am I doing again?
Speaker 2: Standing on a rock in the middle of the ocean,
Speaker 2: surrounded by shorts, balancing five babies for five years? And
Speaker 2: you can let the babies drop. However, you have to
Speaker 2: deliver the news to the parents that you drop their baby.
Speaker 1: Did the Rizzler get dropped out of this equation altogether?
Speaker 2: No, the Wrizzler stars in your film.
Speaker 1: That I get to make it five fucking years? Yeah,
Speaker 1: when nobody gives a fuck about the risk.
Speaker 2: No, they do, because the movie grows to billion dollars.
Speaker 1: What movie? The movie I didn't make with them until
Speaker 1: I've lived five years at sea with five babies on
Speaker 1: my ye. That's what I'm saying. Five years from now,
Speaker 1: somebody's gonna pay.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they did, and it grows to billion dollars. That's
Speaker 2: what I'm telling you.
Speaker 1: Why then would anyone want to see the risen five
Speaker 1: years from now to the point that but the Wrizzler serious?
Speaker 1: This is like it's a modern day Wicked. Like I'm
Speaker 1: John was his name John.
Speaker 3: Cho John Chue?
Speaker 1: John, I'm John Jue now the modern day John Jew.
Speaker 6: Yes, how well do I know the parents of these
Speaker 6: babies that I'm destined to drop it? It's babies like
Speaker 6: one that's going to grow up to be a Hitler.
Speaker 2: No, they were all gonna be Nobel Prize winning humans.
Speaker 2: One was gonna stop climate change.
Speaker 1: Well, I'm definitely fire. I don't need the money that bad.
Speaker 1: I'm fifty four years old, you know. And also what
Speaker 1: I'll slowly get my own TikTok followers, I don't mean
Speaker 1: the fucking wrestler.
Speaker 2: Then you get to make any movie you want to
Speaker 2: make forever after that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, man, no, I ain't letting babies die of
Speaker 1: my watch, particularly if like.
Speaker 3: They got all right, it took you long enough.
Speaker 1: I want to say the kid in the future, like
Speaker 1: I don't know none ever fucking pops in the pans.
Speaker 1: Some of them, you know, stay as colonels. So I
Speaker 1: was riding my fucking chances. Maybe it's like, you know,
Speaker 1: five duds anyway, but the world of them being nobel
Speaker 1: laureates and fucking shit, like you know, the ones that
Speaker 1: could cure diseases.
Speaker 2: But one is Hitler.
Speaker 3: Yes, but you don't know which one is.
Speaker 1: Which you're talking.
Speaker 3: That's the double speaking.
Speaker 1: I can see my jeans at work.
Speaker 8: One of them's Hitler.
Speaker 3: You don't know which one.
Speaker 1: Though four of them will move humanity forward, one of
Speaker 1: them will take us back so far. But but if
Speaker 1: I drop one, one could be one one of that
Speaker 1: one of the ones I drop could be future Hitler.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but you don't know.
Speaker 1: You will. I know in my lifetime because I'm.
Speaker 3: Yeah for me, you'll know in your lifetime.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean it's gonna take you a long time
Speaker 1: to get to Hitler.
Speaker 2: No, you'll see, you'll know by age twenty.
Speaker 3: They'll start young.
Speaker 1: I'm fifty four now I'll be seventy four then, I mean,
Speaker 1: will I even notice? I'll be probably drooling. I won't
Speaker 1: even remember I did this. I'll be like, why am
Speaker 1: I starting at see with babies and moms.
Speaker 2: My legs so strong, bro oh my god, imagine imagine
Speaker 2: your calves. Your calves are ready, they made of steel.
Speaker 1: Now they'd be cut from bronze now literally particularly, that's
Speaker 1: some you know, I'd be getting so much sun and ship.
Speaker 2: And you're literally balancing on a rock for five years.
Speaker 2: You never sit down.
Speaker 1: The whole babies die. Part of it really fucking puts
Speaker 1: a damper in Yeah, to see, I know there's a
Speaker 1: lot of money. How much again time for you?
Speaker 2: Five hundred No, No, it was actually one hundred mil.
Speaker 2: It's actually one hundred dollars one hundred.
Speaker 1: Mill five babies, this like twenty mili baby one of
Speaker 1: them's future Hitler, but like, be sure.
Speaker 2: You can't be sure. There's no way of knowing until
Speaker 2: until it's too late.
Speaker 1: If I'm sure, the moment they're like, okay, you're balanced
Speaker 1: on the rock. Then here's all the five babies and
Speaker 1: go I'm pitching baby Hitler right to the Oh. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so that trying to hold on to four. Yeah, good
Speaker 1: shots at the future.
Speaker 3: But you don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know. You don't do that strategem doesn't one. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't want to do this. It's not worth the money,
Speaker 1: you know what. I'd rather fucking try. I'd rather go
Speaker 1: stand on stage and be like, this is the most
Speaker 1: fucked up thing it was ever offered to me. Let
Speaker 1: me walk you through the hypothetical. So did I do
Speaker 1: right or did I do wrong? I watched the thing,
Speaker 1: you know, I watch a lot of creepy internet.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love them. Is this one dude so strange?
Speaker 1: Oh my god?
Speaker 2: They've really instilled like a new fear in me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, me too, But this one dude was like, fuck, now,
Speaker 1: you made me forget where I was going with it.
Speaker 3: I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1: What was the What was I just talking about before?
Speaker 2: You were like you're standing on a rock. You would
Speaker 2: have to go on stage and tell people, walk them
Speaker 2: through the hypothetical that you were given. He's gone gone.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, buddy. Yeah, I guess best we don't.
Speaker 1: My short term is shot.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: No, it was good though. It was gonna give me
Speaker 1: lunch of fucking content. What I need to do is
Speaker 1: keep a pad and a pape and a pen. You
Speaker 1: should nearby, because like, it just goes and then I'm like, wait,
Speaker 1: I answer when I go to come back, it's gone.
Speaker 1: But it was good. What was the video I watched.
Speaker 3: Where I was like, oh my god, it was a
Speaker 3: scary one.
Speaker 1: They're all scary. Oh my god, every one of them
Speaker 1: is unnervous. But this one is a guy who does
Speaker 1: a series of these videos that are like there's a
Speaker 1: I guess a meme online which is like hey Apple,
Speaker 1: it's from Annoying Orange and he would say hey Apple,
Speaker 1: and then he go yeah, and then he would like
Speaker 1: eat him. But they wouldn't show that, but then they
Speaker 1: would play like an old timey version of Amazing Grace.
Speaker 1: It's meant to be like he's dead now. So they
Speaker 1: do these series where they're like hey Apple, yeah, Grace
Speaker 1: and it's like a series of three pictures, and one
Speaker 1: picture will be you know, like people praying a church,
Speaker 1: and then inside people praying, and then the third picture
Speaker 1: is like the headline of like church roof collapses, kills
Speaker 1: five hundred Jesus. Yeah. And now there's a guy who
Speaker 1: then watches those and then pauses them and sometimes cuts
Speaker 1: them off before the third shot, because mostly the third
Speaker 1: shot is graphic and horrible. So he'll explain what they mean,
Speaker 1: because he'll do a deep dive research and be like,
Speaker 1: so this photo of the three photos, the first one
Speaker 1: is this, and it comes from this, and this one
Speaker 1: is this and it comes from that, and that's when
Speaker 1: and everyone's in a while. There's one that's like easily
Speaker 1: debunked because it's like spooky ship. But most of the
Speaker 1: time it's like some just some bad ship that fucking
Speaker 1: happened to other people.
Speaker 3: What a weird subsect of the internet?
Speaker 1: You it's it's it's not like the dark Web, but
Speaker 1: it is a lot of.
Speaker 3: Like giving like weird corners of the Internet.
Speaker 1: Though it is in as much how you got there,
Speaker 1: but I don't know. It popped up in my feeds,
Speaker 1: in my in my threats, but I watch a lot
Speaker 1: of like ring cam video stuff where they're like, this
Speaker 1: is the most horrible thing that ever happened in front
Speaker 1: of a ring cam.
Speaker 2: The hay orange is very specific. It is, that's very specific.
Speaker 1: I was watching this one, bro. It was dark. It
Speaker 1: was the same series. It was a kid's show. It
Speaker 1: was like the darkest kids show on the internet. And
Speaker 1: it was called Life with Grandfather And it was the
Speaker 1: kids show that was produced for this cult where this
Speaker 1: guy his name was Bergh or something like that, I
Speaker 1: don't know, but he was like, you know, it's like
Speaker 1: an offshoot of Christianity, but it was more hippie ish
Speaker 1: and then it was like more about free love. So
Speaker 1: in these kids shows, like there's this one like robot
Speaker 1: that has like female breasts on it and it looks
Speaker 1: like a like a fucking standard R two D two
Speaker 1: with like a wig on it and then these like
Speaker 1: female boobs on it, and so slowly like the show
Speaker 1: was grooming, like conditioning kids to be like sexual relationships
Speaker 1: with adults or is fine, Like it's it was pet
Speaker 1: a Christian peto cult.
Speaker 3: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: Fucking mind betting. But they produced their own fucking pro
Speaker 1: children's programming called Life with Grandfather with these puppets that
Speaker 1: played out these scenarios. There was a little boy that
Speaker 1: they adopted called Davidita. No, there was David and David
Speaker 1: Ta that was a girl. But the boy they built
Speaker 1: a fucking you know, Jesus type mythology around and wrote
Speaker 1: a book about how he was going to save the
Speaker 1: world and shit like that. But this kid grew up
Speaker 1: and like, you know, it was like, fuck all these
Speaker 1: people straight to hell. Like he bought like a gun
Speaker 1: and was like, I'm going to kill that old man
Speaker 1: for what they did to me, Like it was not
Speaker 1: a fucking good thing, and he wanted to go rescue
Speaker 1: his sister, but his sister is like so deeply still
Speaker 1: in the cult. All of this is horrible. But the
Speaker 1: children's show that they produced is just a mind fuck,
Speaker 1: an absolute mind fuck, where it's like, Okay, this was
Speaker 1: produced for an audience of like twenty.
Speaker 3: And it's so you got to tell me that.
Speaker 1: There's another one that was called like joy Station, Joy Junction,
Speaker 1: and they did. Oh, the show was on for twelve
Speaker 1: fucking years, Joy Junction, and it was on the Christian
Speaker 1: Broadcasting Network and it was on like some regular channels
Speaker 1: in Tampa and shit like that. Twelve more than twelve years,
Speaker 1: fourteen years the show went on, maybe close to twenty.
Speaker 1: I don't think I'm over exaggerating. It went on for
Speaker 1: a long time, to the point where I'm watching this
Speaker 1: video going like this is there must be some Mandela
Speaker 1: effect here, because I look, I've been balls deep in
Speaker 1: pop culture for fucking fifty years. I would have heard
Speaker 1: about this show. I don't even care if it was
Speaker 1: on a Christian broadcasting network. I would have heard about
Speaker 1: the show. Then you get to the reason why you've
Speaker 1: never heard about this show. Why there's only like three
Speaker 1: episodes available on YouTube and shit where the rest of
Speaker 1: them are gone? And it disappeared from the Christian Broadcasting network,
Speaker 1: no reference to it on any of their websites, disappeared
Speaker 1: from the network it used to air on in Tampa.
Speaker 1: There's no reference to it anywhere. It's like, everyone wipe
Speaker 1: their slates clean of this fucking thing. Because one of
Speaker 1: the guys who worked the Ventrilli's quist puppet, the guy
Speaker 1: that was like Jesus wants us to welcome him into
Speaker 1: our hearts, was a hardcore fucking pediastue.
Speaker 2: Jesus christ I'm telling you.
Speaker 1: Man, I'm watching this video and I'm like, why don't
Speaker 1: I know this ship? And that's why they're like fucking
Speaker 1: they had. Well, world's an awful place.
Speaker 2: Why are we talking about this?
Speaker 1: Because this is this is what I watch on YouTube.
Speaker 2: You're so weird.
Speaker 1: It's fascinating to me, creepy. All they have to do
Speaker 1: I was, I was telling Jordan, I was like, all
Speaker 1: they have to do is put up a ringcam video,
Speaker 1: play this fucking like spooky one note on a synthesizer,
Speaker 1: and then have somebody be like this ringcam was discovered
Speaker 1: in a Reddit forum where oh ship like that. I'll
Speaker 1: sit there and watch it for hours, and.
Speaker 2: Shit, I never want to hear anything about my Disney
Speaker 2: blogs because yours. Your ship is even weirder. It is
Speaker 2: your shits way weirder. Actually, you're right, it's so I
Speaker 2: can't believe this is what you watch.
Speaker 1: It's it's spooky.
Speaker 3: You're looking for the spooky, the spooky times.
Speaker 1: It's spooky, and it also makes me like turn the
Speaker 1: alarm on at night, where I'm.
Speaker 2: Like, I mean I would hope, so yeah.
Speaker 1: Well I do now like crazy, like now we now
Speaker 1: we lock the front door during the day. I mean good, yeah,
Speaker 1: especially because of them videos and ship and it's so
Speaker 1: weird because like I'll try to watch them with your
Speaker 1: mother and she's like, I don't watch this trash and
Speaker 1: then she puts in her podcast and it's.
Speaker 8: Like they had the perfect marriage until this motherfucker killed
Speaker 8: the other motherfucker.
Speaker 1: Like all she listens to fucking true crime, but she
Speaker 1: won't watch these things with me.
Speaker 3: How interesting?
Speaker 1: Yeah, she should.
Speaker 3: I be scared for both of you.
Speaker 1: I mean, look, if I ever turn up fucking missing,
Speaker 1: she did it hands down, because all she does is
Speaker 1: listen to murder podcasts and she knows she knows how
Speaker 1: to get rid of a body.
Speaker 3: I'll keep that in mind.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm telling you right now, if I ever turn
Speaker 1: up missing, fucking's start there, all right, and you know,
Speaker 1: then have them look at her fucking audible history and
Speaker 1: her wondery history understood. You know what I'm saying. It's
Speaker 1: just a serious and in all these videos, they're like,
Speaker 1: you know, this fucking motherfucker was twelve and he went
Speaker 1: crazy and killed a bunch of people and shit, and
Speaker 1: they look at their internet history and it's like murder, murder, murder, murder, murdership.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be your mother. You watch it. Oh, I'm
Speaker 1: not watching it to learn anything. It's like she's taking note.
Speaker 1: I watched this ship like in the way that you watch.
Speaker 2: Horror movies where you're like, so strange.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be scared. I don't want to
Speaker 1: be scared. I do want to be scared. I take
Speaker 1: me there, take me there. Yes, this is horrible.
Speaker 2: This is horrible.
Speaker 1: This is the worst thing I've ever seen by the
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I must peak. Speaking of a peak.
Speaker 1: You like beardless stickless me in twenty twenty five? Why
Speaker 1: don't you watch it? Good that Kevinsmith club dot com kids,
Speaker 1: and you can literally watch the show. You could see
Speaker 1: me peeking through my fingers.
Speaker 2: You could watch me watch my dad with the concern
Speaker 2: yeah the kid.
Speaker 1: You could watch the kids' faces because when I went
Speaker 1: down that fucking description hole, you were like, then what happened?
Speaker 3: But I was also like, are you?
Speaker 1: But but then when yeah, I ain't doing a ship myself,
Speaker 1: and like and the ones I watch like with the
Speaker 1: kid refers to like, you know, he goes Okay. Since
Speaker 1: there's no sound at the top of this video, you
Speaker 1: can pretty much figure out the worst thing happened. It's
Speaker 1: interesting because the kid they don't curse these YouTubers because
Speaker 1: I guess that fucks with the algorithm and shit, wish
Speaker 1: somebody would have told me, Oh, I do is curse.
Speaker 1: I mean they don't use certain trigger words, Like they
Speaker 1: won't say murder, kill, They say unalive, like this guy
Speaker 1: was unlived. They don't say gun, they don't say knife.
Speaker 1: The guy will say things like you know, he had
Speaker 1: something with him. They can pretty much find in any kitchen.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, isn't that weird. They don't say suicide, they
Speaker 1: don't say murder, they don't say killed, like trigger words
Speaker 1: essay stuff like that, Like they it's yeah, that's your
Speaker 1: generation though, is a real Like you guys are sensitive
Speaker 1: and you don't want to like trigger folks, so they
Speaker 1: go with these tricks and stuff. Yeah, I'm saying it's
Speaker 1: a bad thing, but it's interesting to me like that.
Speaker 1: I'm like, that's that's crazy. Like I'm writing a script
Speaker 1: for the mystery show for local heroes, so in it,
Speaker 1: like you know, it's a mystery show, so there's a murder,
Speaker 1: but like we're a comedy. Yeah, so it's like you don't.
Speaker 1: It's not like, you know, we're not even a matlock
Speaker 1: where it's like, you know, dramedy and shit like that.
Speaker 1: Like we're a flat out sitcom. So it can't be
Speaker 1: too fucking like somebody died and that's sad, Like you know,
Speaker 1: it's got to have like a comedic edge to it,
Speaker 1: and shit, us talking about it with your mom, she's like, well,
Speaker 1: I know that's bad things to happen to people, like yeah, no, shit,
Speaker 1: you sit there every she wakes up and she's like.
Speaker 3: That can't be good.
Speaker 8: Motherfucker killed another motherfucker and here's an eight part show
Speaker 8: about it.
Speaker 3: That can't be good.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 2: I feel like I think it's my side of the
Speaker 2: Internet's perhaps it's a bit more you're not thinking about anything.
Speaker 2: But the Disney side is at least they.
Speaker 1: Got fucking Disney videos out there, like they went to
Speaker 1: Disneyland for a good time, but then when the boat
Speaker 1: was more the rope.
Speaker 8: Snapped and decapitated him and her.
Speaker 3: I have watched some videos like that.
Speaker 1: Things that ever happened at Disney video And.
Speaker 2: I was like, did you did you hear about the
Speaker 2: water park that closed because of the brain eating amiba?
Speaker 3: Where in Florida.
Speaker 1: Number one, don't go to a water park for that
Speaker 1: exact reason.
Speaker 3: So true. Number two, it was a Disney water park.
Speaker 1: And they shut it down for that because they're.
Speaker 3: Like, that was one of the reasons.
Speaker 1: Was the other reason alligators in the source?
Speaker 2: Well, I mean I feel like, yeah, that's.
Speaker 1: That happened at disney World. Yeah that was That wasn't
Speaker 1: in the video I watched because I was like, hey man,
Speaker 1: how can this not be number one? But yeah, then
Speaker 1: I saw it was Disneyland.
Speaker 2: I was like, oh yeah, no, this was disney World.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Brain eating a meta though, no joke.
Speaker 1: How many people?
Speaker 3: Only one?
Speaker 1: I mean, that's enough to show.
Speaker 2: That's enough. But there were some other reasons. I think
Speaker 2: they didn't say it was for that, but.
Speaker 1: People shipping in the water.
Speaker 2: But some someone died of a brain eating a meba.
Speaker 1: Could you imagine to you? There's a lot of these
Speaker 1: videos where it's just like they were doing something innocuous.
Speaker 1: Now they're fucking dead.
Speaker 2: What a positive way to start out the new year.
Speaker 1: There's the video series that goes like, this person's already dead,
Speaker 1: they just don't know it yet.
Speaker 3: Oh my god.
Speaker 2: That's so they're.
Speaker 1: Showing you like a photo of somebody who something horrible
Speaker 1: is about to have that's so scary they cut out
Speaker 1: and stuff. Oh oh, I just look, we all got
Speaker 1: to go. I just don't want to go with some
Speaker 1: wacky video that somebody was like, Oh my god, you
Speaker 1: see this.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's not it's not.
Speaker 2: I yeah, what a what a beautiful positive sort.
Speaker 1: There's you're hopeful.
Speaker 3: Here's your full of hope.
Speaker 1: Twenty twenty five. That's how we begin. Twenty twenty five.
Speaker 2: Is full of hope.
Speaker 1: Here we'll flip the script passion.
Speaker 3: Irration, Passion irration.
Speaker 1: Here's your passion I ration. Kids, you're like, what you
Speaker 1: guys are doing this shit?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, hasn't it been weeks?
Speaker 1: I got passion irration. You want my regular passion and
Speaker 1: my single passion and my single ration? Or do you
Speaker 1: want me to do.
Speaker 3: My single passion, single ration.
Speaker 1: Single passion? Ready?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: My scripts I'm writing or I wrote a comic book
Speaker 1: script forty pager for a comic book crossover that I
Speaker 1: fucking thought was I had so much fun doing and
Speaker 1: it'll come out around the time of Comic Con. So
Speaker 1: it's like future past keV planning for future keV. That
Speaker 1: and the sitcom script which me and and the Josh
Speaker 1: and Dylan are working on. But first draft has done
Speaker 1: thirty three pages. It's fucking wonderful.
Speaker 2: That's awesome.
Speaker 1: So and I like, they sent it to me last
Speaker 1: night Christmas Eve. I was like, what a great gift.
Speaker 1: But they sent it like by the time I saw
Speaker 1: it, it was like eleven thirty at night. So I thought
Speaker 1: about getting up, but I was like, you know what,
Speaker 1: just go go sleep and and get up and when
Speaker 1: you get up in the morning you can read it
Speaker 1: and then you know, start your read draft. So all night,
Speaker 1: like I kept waking up every hour in the hour
Speaker 1: because I just wanted to go read it and fucking
Speaker 1: start working on it. And I read it and it
Speaker 1: was absolute fire. And then I did my pass and
Speaker 1: sent it in. So yeah, I'm very happy with with
Speaker 1: those scripts. Yeay, very delighted. Awesome my ration. Yeah, for
Speaker 1: twenty twenty five, sweets and breads. For the last month,
Speaker 1: I've just been living on come on, sweets and breads.
Speaker 1: I know it's a holiday, and shit, fucking I gotta
Speaker 1: be on stage, man, I got a show. Oh, I mean,
Speaker 1: they're listening to this on January second. But I had
Speaker 1: shows in Phoenix on the twenty eighth, and then I
Speaker 1: had New Year's Eve show and a New Year's Day
Speaker 1: show as Spokane. So being on you know, I gotta
Speaker 1: be on stage and shit.
Speaker 3: Like, So don't you want to be happy? No?
Speaker 1: No, I won't be thin. I've never wanted to be happy.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. We watched those videos that Jen had transferred,
Speaker 1: and shit, one of them is a Christmas where I
Speaker 1: got like this workout station. You know, it's like wait,
Speaker 1: it's on this side and with your legs on this
Speaker 1: side and shit like that. And it was just like
Speaker 1: a painful reminder of like, you know, for decades, I've
Speaker 1: been on one diet or another. Like in there, it
Speaker 1: was like, all right, we got the exercise equipment. Now
Speaker 1: I'm going to be healthy. And I used it like
Speaker 1: three times.
Speaker 8: Yeah.
Speaker 2: It was a nice gym.
Speaker 1: Too, a nice gym, but yes, you know, I what
Speaker 1: was the point there?
Speaker 8: Oh?
Speaker 1: Sweets and breads? Fuck them? Yeah, I've had too many.
Speaker 3: Man to life without bread is not a life at all.
Speaker 1: You know. I was doing very well in life without bread,
Speaker 1: and I got to move back to it. I'm going
Speaker 1: to eat my burgers and my fucking big juice marbles
Speaker 1: without the bread. Problem is the besties. They carried this
Speaker 1: fucking nice bread, which we keep getting.
Speaker 3: Because it's amazing and you should be able to eat it.
Speaker 1: No. No, I want to be on fucking television, wear
Speaker 1: anything else way more and eat and chocolate.
Speaker 3: You can do that and deep bread.
Speaker 1: No, I don't want to be talking like on TV
Speaker 1: and like he's that funny, heavy guy like I want
Speaker 1: to be fucking You're not. I want to be.
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker 1: Look like I looked like when I got out of
Speaker 1: the booby hatch. You the best I fucking looked in
Speaker 1: my adult life.
Speaker 3: You literally look fantastic.
Speaker 1: No more sweets, no more breads. That's my passion and
Speaker 1: ration yours.
Speaker 2: Well, my rash now is you don't in the moment.
Speaker 3: Okay, fine, but I don't like that. Just for the record,
Speaker 3: I don't like it. I think you should be able to.
Speaker 1: Reach all right, I'm just telling you how life is.
Speaker 2: My passion is twenty twenty five. In my ration is
Speaker 2: twenty twenty four.
Speaker 1: You know what, not bad. I was gonna come down
Speaker 1: and you're like, what twenty three? But that's actually pretty clever.
Speaker 2: Twenty twenty four kind of there were there were good parts,
Speaker 2: but it kind of kind of fucking sucked. Is So
Speaker 2: I'm very excited for twenty twenty five. I do really
Speaker 2: enjoy a fresh new start, and I am feeling optimistic
Speaker 2: and positive.
Speaker 1: Why I don't know.
Speaker 2: Well, one, I'm.
Speaker 1: Not saying don't, but I'm just saying, what do you
Speaker 1: know that I don't?
Speaker 2: I I twenty twenty five feels like a good number,
Speaker 2: first of all.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and sounds futuristic.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it sounds nice. It just feels feels nice.
Speaker 1: Metal Storm twenty twenty five, Medal Storm. It sounds like
Speaker 1: a movie, a three D movie from the Ages.
Speaker 3: But also, I'll have my golden birthday. I'll be twenty six.
Speaker 1: That's a golden birthday because.
Speaker 2: My birthdays on the twenty six. I'll turn twenty six
Speaker 2: on the twenty six.
Speaker 1: Explain this concept, this is a new one.
Speaker 2: So you have you only have one golden birthday your
Speaker 2: whole life. Yours was when you were two, because your
Speaker 2: birthday is on the second. Mine is when I'm twenty six.
Speaker 1: So whatever day you were.
Speaker 2: Born, that's your golden birthday.
Speaker 1: When you hit that age, that's your golden birthday. So
Speaker 1: I was born in August second, so when I was
Speaker 1: I had my golden birthday before I was even cognizant
Speaker 1: of the concept.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yours has gone in past.
Speaker 1: Seems unfair, but you know what, life has been fair
Speaker 1: to me in many other ways.
Speaker 2: Maybe that's why, and maybe so true. Maybe the university
Speaker 2: that's for me.
Speaker 1: Like this fucking kid missed the whole golden birthday fucking trip,
Speaker 1: so let them be fakus.
Speaker 2: Or the golden birthday set you up for success. You
Speaker 2: got to have your golden birthday so early, so early that.
Speaker 1: I was like, I need something else. Yeah, you meant
Speaker 1: this whole time you've been working toward this.
Speaker 4: You're like, it's Quentin Tarantina movie back and living for
Speaker 4: my golden.
Speaker 3: I can't wait for my golden birthday.
Speaker 1: So because you were born June twenty sixth, the twenty
Speaker 1: your twenty sixth birthday is your golden.
Speaker 3: Birthday, and it's happening the whole year.
Speaker 1: Yeah six months from now, Yeah.
Speaker 2: Fair enough, exactly six months from tomorrow.
Speaker 1: So your mom's golden birthday also passed, Yeah, because she
Speaker 1: was April seventh, so she happened when she was seventh.
Speaker 1: So the key is to have one that happens.
Speaker 3: In like later in life so you can enjoy it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like if you were born on the twenty first
Speaker 1: and your golden birthday is your twenty first birthday.
Speaker 2: Oh your your golden quick literally, yes, the.
Speaker 1: Golden birthday is a new.
Speaker 2: Concept, all right, I'm so ready for it, the year.
Speaker 1: Of the Golden Birthday. Let's keep an eye on that.
Speaker 3: I love my birthday as I'm a.
Speaker 1: I reallythday change my life.
Speaker 3: But you know how some people are.
Speaker 1: My whole fucking life has been shaped around your birth
Speaker 1: from a certain point forward.
Speaker 2: You know, some people don't like their birthday, like they
Speaker 2: don't like celebrating. Yeah, I'm not one of those people.
Speaker 1: It's my birthday month.
Speaker 2: I love my birthday.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he liked, you'll take a whole month to do it,
Speaker 1: especially because like yours is at the end of the month,
Speaker 1: his is at the beginning of the month like mine,
Speaker 1: since we share the same birthday, so Uncle don takes
Speaker 1: all of August.
Speaker 2: As he should.
Speaker 3: Honestly, I don't really.
Speaker 1: Give a fuck about a birthday. To me, my birthday
Speaker 1: is a marketable holiday, like I can sell tickets for that.
Speaker 1: But in terms of like I'm just many years old
Speaker 1: and getting gifts and ship. I don't give a ship.
Speaker 1: Life has been one big fucking birthday celebration since Clerks
Speaker 1: I love. Yeah, well good, I mean you should.
Speaker 2: The golden birthday is gonna go so hard.
Speaker 1: What are you gonna do for it?
Speaker 3: I don't know?
Speaker 2: Orgy Okay, yeah, you're probably probably right.
Speaker 4: Path eat my clothing birthday? Path, Yeah, my golden birthday,
Speaker 4: I know, Path?
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Should we have a golden birthday orgy?
Speaker 1: What the fuck?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 4: Puff, it's my golding birthday?
Speaker 2: Oh my? What the fuck?
Speaker 4: So on my golden birthday, we're gonna have an orgy
Speaker 4: where smoke hows smoke hows.
Speaker 1: Fucking restaurant valley across mor What the fuck?
Speaker 2: What?
Speaker 1: We're written at the smoke house. Path we have a
Speaker 1: rented place, a restaurant anyway, fucking my house. We're going
Speaker 1: to this smokecast. Why are we doing this? Okay? Maybe
Speaker 1: this is the fucking maybe you release, bro, what release
Speaker 1: your music on your golden birthday?
Speaker 3: Maybe the whole it may maybe.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. I mean, I know you
Speaker 1: got the two songs done, but maybe the EP or whatever.
Speaker 1: Maybe that's how you set yourself up for success with
Speaker 1: superstitions and nonsense.
Speaker 3: I love superstitions and nonsense.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, you go along together.
Speaker 1: You can't laugh one without the other.
Speaker 3: Alice in Wonderland is my favorite movie.
Speaker 1: There's a little video of you at ween and Jimmy's
Speaker 1: in one of the old videos, and you're dressed like
Speaker 1: Alice dress. All right man, twenty twenty five, it's begun.
Speaker 1: A bunch of people are like, you know, I said
Speaker 1: to myself, fuck this show, but I said I'll give
Speaker 1: it one more chance in twenty twenty five, and now, yeah,
Speaker 1: fuck this show.
Speaker 2: And then my dad talked about ring footage, ring camera footage.
Speaker 2: I'm terrifying.
Speaker 1: There was a graph on audience in audience engagement, that
Speaker 1: fucking ring camera YouTube video. Shit. Everyone was leaning a
Speaker 1: little bit forward.
Speaker 3: And then my dad talked about Hey.
Speaker 1: Orange, and then people were like, oh, I can remember that.
Speaker 1: That was. That was reminiscent, That was nostalgic. Where they
Speaker 1: got a little weirded out though, for sure, was probably
Speaker 1: when you started talking about your fucking golden birthday orgy.
Speaker 1: Nobody wants to hear dad.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're so right, you freak, Hey Orange.
Speaker 1: Yeah, comply, it is so specific. It is, I'm telling you,
Speaker 1: it's crazy. People are talented, bro. Like when I'm look
Speaker 1: at that shit, I'm like, I spent hours watching that,
Speaker 1: Like Ridley Scott spent hundreds of millions of dollars making
Speaker 1: gladiat Or two. I don't watch that, but I'll tell
Speaker 1: you what I have watched. Hey Orange, oh mapp what
Speaker 1: twenty seconds long? And there are hundreds of them, hundreds.
Speaker 1: I appreciate homemade entertainment and ship man, so can you.
Speaker 1: And this is it. Those people are there are people.
Speaker 1: We have homemade entertainment. This is our version of hay Apple.
Speaker 1: Every episode I'm like, hey Apple, you're.
Speaker 7: Like what I'm like, but I hit like Father Dave
Speaker 7: Stalk Oh.
Speaker 5: Oh sweet, he.
Speaker 1: Bring it off sometimes.
Speaker 5: Oh oh you have to.
Speaker 2: You have to join that Kevin Smith club to watch
Speaker 2: my dad when he does Father Dave.
Speaker 1: Doing face to get there. Yes, there's that's all right there.
Speaker 2: I know, I know pro No, it's.
Speaker 1: That's what I'll say. I'm a gravestone, you know. I
Speaker 1: saw some fucking mean tweets about me and one of
Speaker 1: them was in reference to the TV show announcement. They
Speaker 1: were like, ow can you stop making things about yourself?
Speaker 1: And I'm like, no, like my whole fucking life has
Speaker 1: been making ship about myself, like, and I found a
Speaker 1: little niche where I could do it and get away
Speaker 1: with it and get paid for it and ship, So
Speaker 1: no pers gonna, yeah, it's going to respond, But then
Speaker 1: I was like, it's Christmas Eve and I was going
Speaker 1: to respond by being like who writes this on Christmas Eve?
Speaker 1: But I was about to respond, so I was like,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm gonna say, ship so true.
Speaker 2: But it did haunt me, It really did, but I'm
Speaker 2: still thinking about it.
Speaker 1: Get out of that apple. I was like what he
Speaker 1: was like? And then some other motherfucker there was some
Speaker 1: like tweet that I was that I responded to two
Speaker 1: years ago, in regardless to some Masters in the Universe thing,
Speaker 1: some rando on Christmas Eve responded to that tweet that
Speaker 1: I put up two years ago. I didn't fucking make
Speaker 1: sure he was wasn't talking about the original poster, but
Speaker 1: it was definitely aimed at me. But it was like,
Speaker 1: fuck you, You're an asshole and had nothing to do
Speaker 1: with this person, and I was like, that's timely.
Speaker 3: Well a little light there, buddy, yeah.
Speaker 1: And it's like, how far down the rabbit.
Speaker 2: Hole are you ration. We lead that hate in the
Speaker 2: past ration.
Speaker 3: We don't. We don't pay attention to people on the Internet.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I can ever do that. I've
Speaker 1: been I've been here since the internet started.
Speaker 3: Kid, leave it in twenty twenty four, bro, No, seriously,
Speaker 3: leave it in twenty twenty four.
Speaker 1: That's where it belongs.
Speaker 3: Twenty twenty five, none of that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, but I want to be on a TV show.
Speaker 1: Shouldn't I care what the audience says?
Speaker 3: No, fuck them, Wow, I'm.
Speaker 1: Gonna go tell Universal on NBC. My kid says, fuck me,
Speaker 1: fuck them, fuck them? Nielsen? The fuck? What center are
Speaker 1: you from? Like twentieth I don't even know how they
Speaker 1: do ratings anymore. If they do ratings and shit, I
Speaker 1: guess it's all clicks. We'll see. God. I hope I'm
Speaker 1: got a TV show, got it? I hope I get it.
Speaker 1: I hope I get it. I hope I get a
Speaker 1: TV show.
Speaker 2: You will.
Speaker 1: That's course line, me pastor course line. NBC was like
Speaker 1: we were on the verge giving you a show until
Speaker 1: we heard you fucking ruined Courseline. No, No, how about
Speaker 1: the quick list passionate ration? All right? Did you do
Speaker 1: both yours. Yeah, yeah, your list was great.
Speaker 3: Thanks.
Speaker 1: I can't believe my ration was sweets and bread.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know, come on, bro, sound.
Speaker 1: Like a young Sweets and breads?
Speaker 2: Sweet and bread?
Speaker 5: Please me?
Speaker 1: Can I have some sweets and bread? Mom?
Speaker 2: Please have a loaf of bread?
Speaker 4: Well?
Speaker 1: But could I have some sweet breads? More sweet breads?
Speaker 1: Like when you take them from an animal for cooking.
Speaker 1: It's like their kidneys or something.
Speaker 3: Sweet bread, I miss, I haven't seen them since this morning.
Speaker 2: Well it's Christmas and I seen more new I gotta
Speaker 2: go moves waiting.
Speaker 1: All right, here's my fucking passion ration for you.
Speaker 3: Okay, passion Yeah.
Speaker 1: No, no passion ration New Year's resolutions.
Speaker 2: Past.
Speaker 3: I think it's good to have goals.
Speaker 1: Fair you know what, I can judge it. Yeah, come on,
Speaker 1: let you say, come on.
Speaker 2: It's about being a better version of you, and I
Speaker 2: support that.
Speaker 1: Fair enough passion ration. TikTok rasan, why one?
Speaker 3: I don't have one.
Speaker 2: It's a dark hole for me if I that in
Speaker 2: YouTube shorts?
Speaker 1: So what are YouTube shorts?
Speaker 2: It's like TikTok on YouTube. Yeah yeah, I can be
Speaker 2: doing that. And Instagram reels yeah all those, all those
Speaker 2: are just not good.
Speaker 1: For me with Instagram, I enjoy that curating my Instagram,
Speaker 1: but like TikTok seems like it's a medium, not for me.
Speaker 1: TikTok is a big ration for me. Traction.
Speaker 3: It's hard. It's hard out there when the wrizzler is
Speaker 3: just controlling the game.
Speaker 1: Oh fucking wrizzler. It is just like right on and
Speaker 1: fucking absolutely missed my window. You know what, I have,
Speaker 1: my time. I should enjoy time.
Speaker 3: You're still here, buddy.
Speaker 1: Good point, passion, ration, frupples.
Speaker 2: Passion, respect to whatever you want.
Speaker 1: Because you're in one with Luke, Austin and Luke.
Speaker 2: With my bandmate in Austin's best friend.
Speaker 1: Yep, well you guys are always together. You live in
Speaker 1: that same fucking house.
Speaker 2: Nick lives in the house.
Speaker 1: Austin doesn't.
Speaker 2: Austin does. Luke you said.
Speaker 1: No, three, you live in the house. Any a thrule.
Speaker 1: I don't know what it is. It don't have to
Speaker 1: be sex. It could be maybe you're a lavender thruptle,
Speaker 1: a lavender. Do you know what this is? Something I
Speaker 1: just read about lavender couples coming back. It was the
Speaker 1: New York Times. Lavender couple back in the day was
Speaker 1: like you know you're a gay man and you marry
Speaker 1: like a gay woman because you're like, you know what
Speaker 1: they call beer like that, but you can like, hey man,
Speaker 1: we'll get like fucking all the benefits of being married,
Speaker 1: but not going to be married like that. But your
Speaker 1: generation apparently they're into like they've redefined it. They don't
Speaker 1: claim they don't know. It's called lavender marriage. New York
Speaker 1: Times is saying, like, essentially this is lavender marriage, but
Speaker 1: a lot of them are getting married, not going like
Speaker 1: I'm in fucking love or oh my god, I love
Speaker 1: to fuck this person, Like I just like to watch
Speaker 1: TV with this person. I want somebody to watch TV with.
Speaker 1: Like to coupling up and marrying, not just coupling up
Speaker 1: and hanging out like friends, but marrying, you know, with
Speaker 1: the prime directive not being what most people would think
Speaker 1: is that you know why people get married.
Speaker 2: I respect to whatever anybody wants to do.
Speaker 1: I like to all get married to my wife or
Speaker 1: my husband is like somebody I just liked being with,
Speaker 1: which should be part of the equation.
Speaker 3: Yeah, respect to whatever anyone wants to do.
Speaker 1: So passion for the throuttle Sure.
Speaker 2: Yeah I know, nick boy.
Speaker 3: You already know.
Speaker 2: Nick would be like, what did they say? For those
Speaker 2: who are listening, my dad is air strumming a guitar.
Speaker 3: With a mug.
Speaker 1: Drag.
Speaker 2: My dad has a really weird idea of who my
Speaker 2: bandmates are anyways. Passion irration, Yeah, juicy marbles.
Speaker 1: Passion, juicy marbles for those who don't know. Fake vegan steak.
Speaker 1: That's like a flame. Andgnon it's amazing when cooked. Well,
Speaker 1: it's pretty impressive. Comes from a different country altogether.
Speaker 2: Does it.
Speaker 3: It's amazing we had them today. It was so fire.
Speaker 1: That was Christmas Christmas meal.
Speaker 2: That was fire as though.
Speaker 1: Shout out to Misty.
Speaker 2: All right, Wicked, Passion and all day.
Speaker 1: It's fantastic. I loved it when it was in the
Speaker 1: Broadway show. I love it as a movie, true. I
Speaker 1: can't wait for the fucking sequel. I know what happened.
Speaker 3: Oh I wonder if they change up.
Speaker 1: No, they wouldn't they change.
Speaker 2: They're not changing, man.
Speaker 1: They they got a name for it though. It's wicked
Speaker 1: for good the internet, you know I follow that closely.
Speaker 3: I'm aware.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I hope you're happy. I hope you're happy now.
Speaker 2: I hope you're happy.
Speaker 1: My friend.
Speaker 4: So sad um, something has changed within me.
Speaker 3: He's gonna cry.
Speaker 1: Something is not the same. Uh, all right, what's your
Speaker 1: third one?
Speaker 2: Conscious?
Speaker 1: My conscience?
Speaker 3: Conscious?
Speaker 2: Conscious?
Speaker 1: Concis yes, passion.
Speaker 2: We love.
Speaker 1: House that local leg it's Te Luca Bakery that is
Speaker 1: all vegan and they make these amazing conches and bokitos
Speaker 1: and just a bunch of like crazy wonderful desserts and banadas.
Speaker 2: A concias like sweet bread.
Speaker 1: Conscious. That's why I was like sweets and breads. So
Speaker 1: ration on the ConA passion for then the big ration.
Speaker 2: On the concha man, but huge passion.
Speaker 1: Yeah, especially there because not all conscias are vegan.
Speaker 3: But oh yeah, no, no fire one.
Speaker 1: Everyone's a while. I'm in a seven to eleven somewhere
Speaker 1: in the world and I'll see like in their little
Speaker 1: tiny ass Latin section and I'm like, but then I
Speaker 1: look at the ingredients, I'm like, what the fuck? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I realized that I'm breathing rarefied air out here in
Speaker 1: Los Angeles.
Speaker 2: Bread is my most favorite food. And to have a
Speaker 2: dessert bread, a sweet bread, it's my ideal. It's my
Speaker 2: ideal dessert.
Speaker 1: Bro. I took a cut one and a half put
Speaker 1: a burger on it. That's so fucking fucking amazing. It
Speaker 1: was like when people, you know, take a crispy cream
Speaker 1: put a burger on it.
Speaker 2: That's so wild. I would have had that. We're fucking
Speaker 2: contro Burger next time.
Speaker 1: All right, Contu Burger. That's the fucking restaurant. We could
Speaker 1: conch Burger. We should be like, what's the gimmick? Like
Speaker 1: we put our burgers in contraction fire? Nice? Why did
Speaker 1: not think of that?
Speaker 7: Right?
Speaker 3: That sounds kind of good?
Speaker 1: Actually, in twenty twenty five, Contu Burger. All right, there
Speaker 1: are just kids. There's your beardless stickless me for the
Speaker 1: start of twenty twenty five. Man, if you like this,
Speaker 1: stick around for fucking more. Yeah, Sky's limit. It's more
Speaker 1: of this where that came from twenty five going her
Speaker 1: dad bullshit with one another The hawk Tua Family Podcast,
Speaker 1: Thank Ye for Beardless Dickless Me.
Speaker 3: I'm Kevin Smith, I'm Harley Quinn Smith cover.
Speaker 1: Beardless Dickless fucking day. And hey, and if you're that
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