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Have you been hesitant to call
yourself a speaker or a thought leader?

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My hope is that this changes after
you listen to this episode of

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The Speaking Your Brand podcast.

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More and more women are making an impact
by starting businesses, running for

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office, and speaking up for what matters.

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With my background as a TV political
analyst, entrepreneur, and speaker,

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I interview and coach, purpose-driven
women to shape their brands, grow

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their companies, and become recognized
as influencers in their field.

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This is Speaking Your Brand, your
place to learn how to persuasively

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communicate your message to your audience.

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Hi there, and welcome to the
Speaking Your Brand podcast.

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I'm your host, Carol Cox.

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Now I know because you're
listening to this podcast that

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you want to share your message.

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You have an important message to share.

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You also want to shape
your personal brand.

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You want to make a a difference for your
audiences, and you want to build your

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business or your professional career.

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Yet for many of you, you resist calling
yourself a speaker or maybe you feel

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comfortable with speaker, but you don't
wanna call yourself a thought leader.

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I cannot tell you how many times
I've heard clients say to me.

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I'm not a speaker yet.

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These exact same clients have delivered
keynotes to big audiences and have been

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paid thousands of dollars to do so, and
they still tell me I'm not a speaker.

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There are the clients who've been
invited by event organizers to speak

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at conferences, so they've been.

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Invited as speakers.

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I've had clients who have taught
classes in workshops for years.

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Clients who give presentations at
work all the time, but still don't

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think of themselves as speakers,
much less as thought leaders.

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So in today's episode, we're gonna talk
about why we resist claiming the identity

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as a speaker or a thought leader, what to
do to start feeling more comfortable doing

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so, and why it's so important that you do.

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And I'm gonna share in this episode how.

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I've been struggling with claiming
the identity as a book writer.

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If you've been listening to this
podcast for several years, and I

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know that there are many of you
who have, and I am so grateful.

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For those of you who have been a long
time listeners, I did a challenge

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back in the beginning of 2020.

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This was February, 2020.

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I can't believe this.

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It's been in over four years
called Choosing Women's Voices.

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And the challenge was around making sure
that the podcasts that we listened to,

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the books that we read, the people that
we're following, that there as are as many

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women, or hopefully more women than men.

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And this challenge came about because
I was doing an audit of all the books.

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That I had read the year prior and
the podcasts that I listened to, and I

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realized that so many of them were by men.

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Now, of course, men have
great things to say.

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It's not that, but I wondered,
where are the women's voices?

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Why aren't there more women at the
top, the New York Times bestseller

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list, or the marketing and business
books that are recommended to us?

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So that's why it's so important
that you claim the identity as

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a speaker, as a thought leader,
because we need you out there.

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If you would like to find out you
are a speaker archetype, this is

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a fun 10 question quiz that we
have that you can take for free.

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And once you identify your speaker
archetype, you get recommendations

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of how to lean into your strengths
and how to amplify them along with

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recommended podcast episodes and more.

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You can take this quiz for free as
Speaking Your Brand dot com slash quiz.

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Again, that's Speaking Your
Brand dot com slash quiz.

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Now let's get on with the show.

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Why do we resist claiming the identity
as a speaker or as a thought leader?

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Why do we hesitate to put that title on
our LinkedIn profile or on our website?

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I think there are a
number of things going on.

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First, you may not feel
like you have the skillset.

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Or the experience or the expertise
to be called a speaker or to

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be called a thought leader.

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Now, that may or may not be the case.

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As I mentioned in the intro, I hear this,
that I'm not a speaker from women who have

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delivered keynotes and been paid to do so
for women who've spoken at conferences,

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at work, at business events, and so on.

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So clearly many of you have the
skillset and you have the experience,

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but you're still not feeling
comfortable calling yourself a speaker.

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So the other thing that I
think is going on is that we're

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comparing ourselves to others.

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So we have this idealized image of a
speaker out there, this person who's on

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a big stage with big screens and lights,
and they're speaking to hundreds and

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thousands of people and the audience.

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So for some of us, we may feel
like it seems presumptuous.

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Of us to call ourselves as a speaker,
because after all, maybe we like doing

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workshops of 30, 40, 50 people, or maybe
we've spoken to a, to an audience of a

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hundred or 150 people, maybe we've served
on panels, maybe we've taught a lot of

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classes, so we don't really feel like we
match that idealize image of a speaker.

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And oftentimes the idealized
image of a speaker is also a man.

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We, maybe we picture someone like
Tony Robbins running around the

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stage with his booming voice and
jumping up and down, and that's not

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the type of speaker we wanna be.

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We all have a natural speaking and
communication style, and our approach here

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is Speaking Your Brand is we wanna help
you amplify your natural style, not try to

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make you someone that you're not, not try
to make you a different type of speaker.

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So if you've have fallen.

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To comparing yourselves to others
or comparing yourself to this

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idealized image of a speaker.

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And so that's why you haven't claimed
the identity, identity of as a speaker.

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Just know that you can be any
type of speaker you want to be.

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The other thing that I think is going on
as far as why we resist identities, and

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this goes for speaker, for thought leader,
for me, it goes claiming the identity as

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a book writer is risking disappointment.

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Not meeting expectations of ourselves or
our imagined expectations of other people.

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Fear of failure comes into this fear
of not being good enough, and maybe

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we have an idealized image of what a
great speech is or a great talk is.

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Or I had this idealized image
of what a great book is, or

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what I want my book to be.

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And of course we know that the more
we actually work on the theme work

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on the talk or on the book that it
gets, it's more, it becomes more

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real so it becomes less idealized.

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And that can feel really
uncomfortable for a lot of us.

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And that is certainly the case
that I'm feeling right now

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as I'm working on my book.

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And then I think back to the book,
atomic Habits by James Clear.

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It's a great book.

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I highly recommend it
if you haven't read it.

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And what he talks about
is that if you want to.

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Create new behaviors.

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If you wanna create new habits, you
have to first adopt the identity of

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that type of person that you want to be.

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Not the idealized person that I was
just talking about, but instead,

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what does that type of person do?

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So for example, if you want to exercise
and be healthier, say you want to go

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for a run every day, or go for a run
four or five days a week, you wanna get

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up in the morning, go for a run, come
back, have your breakfast, and so on.

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As he explains in the book for so many
people, we have this goal that we have,

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but then we never quite get to it.

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We don't develop the habit.

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Maybe we do it one time and then we stop.

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And he argues that we first have
to adopt the identity of a runner.

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Really think about what would a runner do.

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So we almost kind of put that,
put that costume on for ourselves,

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kind of put that cloak on for
ourselves and imagine ourselves.

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Okay.

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If I was a runner, what would I do?

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Well, the first thing, I would set my
alarm at a certain time in the morning.

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I would have my running clothes
and my running shoes set out.

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Invisible to me when I, when I
get outta bed, and I would tell

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myself the night before, okay,
I'm gonna get up a certain time.

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I'm really excited to go running.

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This is gonna feel really good.

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I'm gonna be really glad that I did it.

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So we start adopting that identity.

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We start adopting the thought patterns,
and that's what creates the habit.

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So in the same way.

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When you resist adopting the identity as
a speaker and a thought leader, you're

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actually preventing yourself from becoming
those things, and you're preventing

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yourself from being the messenger
that your audience is waiting for.

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So here are some very concrete things that
you can do to start claiming this identity

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as a speaker and as a thought leader.

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The very first thing I want
you to do is on your LinkedIn

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profile or your Instagram profile.

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If you primarily use Instagram,
then, then do it there.

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I highly recommend though having a
LinkedIn profile, especially if you

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wanna get more speaking engagements.

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'cause a lot of event organizers.

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Do search for speakers on LinkedIn.

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So on your LinkedIn profile,
put the word speaker.

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You can put the word keynote speaker,
you can put speaker and workshop

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facilitator, and then further down
on your LinkedIn profile in the

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about section, mention some of the
topics that you speak about as well.

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The second thing to do is add a
speaking page to your website.

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Go back and listen to episode 3 71
from January of this year called What

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to Include in Your Speaker Video Reel
and Speaker Page, because we talk about

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specific things to that you can put
on your speaker page on your website.

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So if you don't already have one,
definitely go and put one on there.

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Just keep it simple for now
because you can always add to it.

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Doing those two things are already gonna
get you more comfortable as a speaker.

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The third thing to do is I want you
to post a photo of you speaking.

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Post it on LinkedIn and then tag me.

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You can connect with me my LinkedIn
profiles in the show notes.

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So connect with me and then
tag me when you post a photo

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of you speaking on LinkedIn.

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Now this photo could have
been taken a month ago.

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It could have been taken a year ago.

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It could have been taken 10 years ago.

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It could have been taken
when you were in college.

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You can do a throwback Thursday
post if it's from a while ago.

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I bet you, even if you feel like
you're not a speaker, even if you feel

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like you haven't been doing a lot of
speaking, especially not recently,

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there are photos of you somewhere of
you speaking or speaking on a panel,

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and I want you to find one of those.

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Post it on LinkedIn.

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Just say something like,
oh, I, you know, I was.

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Going through my phone or going through
my computer, and I found this photo of

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this panel that I was on back in 2015 and
you know, I really enjoyed it and enjoyed

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meeting the other people who were there.

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Just something like that.

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And tag them too.

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It's a great way also for your
new LinkedIn network, your

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current LinkedIn network, to
remember that you're a speaker.

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The fourth thing to do to get
more comfortable claiming the

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identity as a speaker and a
thought leader is repetition.

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So practicing often, speaking regularly.

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Now, as a podcaster, I do
this every single week.

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I record these episodes, whether
solo episodes or guest interviews.

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I also appear as a guest
on other people's podcast.

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I speak both virtually and in person.

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So the more speaking you do, the
more repetition you have that's

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gonna get you more comfortable.

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Claiming this identity.

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Now this is the identity as a writer
that I'm developing and how I'm doing.

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This is on my calendar.

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I have an hour each morning after I get
up, which is my daily writing practice.

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So back thinking to the book, atomic
Habits, what does a writer do?

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A writer sits down every single day and
for a lot of people the morning works.

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So for me, that's what works is
in the morning and writes whether

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the writing is useful or not.

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Whether the writing is is
gonna be actually in the book

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or not, doesn't really matter.

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It's more just building that
repetition, building that practice.

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The fifth thing to do is to join
a community of fellow speakers.

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That's what I'm doing right now.

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I'm in a part of a book writing
group with my book coach

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Tiffany Hawk, who is fantastic.

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She was on this podcast
back a couple of years ago.

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I'll include a link to
that in the show notes.

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So being around other people who are
also writing books, being around other

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authors makes me feel more like one.

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This is also what I hear from the
women who join us in our Thought

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Leader Academy, is that being around
other women who are in a similar place

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that they're in, and their speaking
journey, and their business journey

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and their career journey, they start
to recognize that, oh, I am a speaker.

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I am a thought leader.

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I do have important things to say.

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And that is the reason to adopt this
identity of a, as a speaker and as

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a thought leader, both for yourself
internally, but also externally, like

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on your LinkedIn profile and on your
website, because you're going to have

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a bigger positive impact when you can
share your message with more audiences.

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You're gonna get more speaking
engagements, including

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paid speaking engagements.

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And as I mentioned in the introduction
about this idea of choosing women's

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voices, we need more women to
claim these identities so that more

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people can find women to follow,
to read, to listen to, and so on.

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Let me share with you a testimonial that
I got from one of the women who were

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attended, our in-person client retreat.

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And by sharing this testimonial,
it really illustrates this idea of

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claiming this identity as a speaker.

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Here's what she wrote to me.

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I wanted to tell you how
much your retreat helped me.

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I recently facilitated a workshop
at my most prestigious venue yet,

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and people told me how warm and
charismatic I was, and charismatic

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isn't something I normally hear.

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One attendee even flew in from overseas
for the weekend, said it was even

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better than he expected when he booked.

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Trip.

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Obviously I bring decades of experience
to the table and I have spoken on stages

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before, but never with this sense of
ease and confidence and never with so

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much of my personality shining through.

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She continues after getting
on stage over and over.

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This is at our retreat in front
of you and such an incredible

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and supportive group of women.

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I not only got comfortable in
my own skin, but I discovered

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strengths I didn't even know I had.

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This time without even thinking about
it, I was able to move around the

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room and take up space and just be
so much more confident and be me.

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Than I otherwise would have to be honest.

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Although I was proud of myself
after the retreat, I love feeling

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like I didn't wanna do that again.

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And that being a quote
speaker isn't my thing.

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And then this is me, Carol.

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You see like not wanting
to claim the identity.

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Now this is back to the retreat client.

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She continues.

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I still felt like leading workshops
was right, but when people said that

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when they got up on stage, they felt
like they wanted to do that every

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day for the rest of their life.

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I was like, what?

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Not me.

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Then after I finished leading that
workshop, I absolutely thought

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this is what I wanna do every
day for the rest of my life.

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I suddenly got exactly what those other
women were saying, and then she concludes.

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I knew intuitively that I needed to
do your retreat, and now I know why.

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Isn't that incredible?

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All of those things that
I just talked about.

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This idea of feeling like, well,
I'm, I'm not really a speaker.

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Even though she's delivered workshops
in classes and she's spoken on stages

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over the years, feeling like, like
she didn't have the skillset or the

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experience comparing herself to others.

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This idealized image as,
as a speaker, but then.

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Because being around this incredibly
supportive group of women that we put

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together, whether it's at our in-person
retreat or it's in our online Thought

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Leader Academy, being around these other
women, having the opportunity to hone your

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skillset, to develop your message and your
thought leadership, that is what gives you

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the confidence to claim the identity as
a speaker and as a thought leader, and to

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put yourself out there in a bigger way.

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If you would like to work with us, you
can join us in our Thought Leader Academy.

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You can get all the details and
submit your application at Speaking

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Your Brand dot com slash academy.

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Again, that's Speaking Your
Brand dot com slash academy.

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Don't forget to take our free quiz
to discover your speaker archetype.

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So many women who have taken it have
emailed me and told me how much it

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resonated with them and how much it helped
them, especially the recommendations

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that we provide, including specific
podcast episodes to listen to.

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Take the quiz at Speaking
Your Brand dot com slash quiz.

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Until next time, thanks for listening.