Grab your weirdest fruit puree and pour one out for your dignity—this week, we say goodbye to the Seltzer Bracket in true Beer Engine fashion: with a burp, a rant, and a few questionable decisions.
Tony returns with sticky hands and suspicious cans after a hard-fought bracket finale, while Griff does his best to pretend this is a serious podcast. We crown a champion (spoiler: it’s not your palate), reflect on what we’ve learned (spoiler: nothing), and question the state of “craft” in a world full of glitter and guava foam.
Also in this episode:
– A Seltzer Hall of Shame induction
– Griff’s unsolicited thoughts on carbonation levels
– Tony’s plan for a hard kombucha deathmatch
– A quick detour into macro nostalgia and malt liquor futures
– Plus: Is this the last waltz… or just the intermission?
It’s bubbly. It’s dumb. It’s exactly what you need in your ears right now.
Drink pairing: Whatever’s cold, vaguely citrusy, and legally considered alcohol.
Listener challenge: Guess how many times Tony says “it’s not that bad” in one episode.
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What is The Beer Engine?
Every bar worth its salt has its regulars. Cheers had Cliff and Norm, Moe's had Barney and Homer and Lenny and Carl and the guy with the hat and the green vest and that one balding guy (?). Barstool Sports has that maniac who rates pizza and goes on alt-right tirades. Hey, but what if the regulars came to you and maybe the conversations were recorded? Maybe they talked about their beers, and they might have unusual hobbies or know too much about buying beer on the internet. Tony and Griff are the regulars at the bar chatting over a few cold ones about beer, or whatever else is going on. Belly up, crack open a Hamm's and feel free to eavesdrop on what these two drunks are going on about today.