1 00:00:00,316 --> 00:00:03,203 This is a reading from 1 Peter 3:1 2 00:00:03,203 --> 00:00:06,206 through 12. 3 00:00:17,183 --> 00:00:18,268 Likewise, wives, 4 00:00:18,268 --> 00:00:22,188 be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, 5 00:00:22,772 --> 00:00:26,426 they may be one without a word by the conduct of their wives, 6 00:00:26,426 --> 00:00:29,245 when they see your respectful, pure conduct. 7 00:00:29,245 --> 00:00:31,548 Do not let your adorning be external. 8 00:00:31,548 --> 00:00:35,935 The braiding of hair and the putting out of gold jewelry or the clothing you wear. 9 00:00:36,052 --> 00:00:40,523 But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable 10 00:00:40,523 --> 00:00:45,628 beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. 11 00:00:45,962 --> 00:00:48,832 For this is how the holy women who hoped and God 12 00:00:48,832 --> 00:00:52,469 used to adorn themselves by submitting to their own husbands. 13 00:00:52,702 --> 00:00:57,140 As Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, and you are her children 14 00:00:57,140 --> 00:01:00,443 if you do good, and do not for anything that is frightening. 15 00:01:01,010 --> 00:01:05,281 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, 16 00:01:05,598 --> 00:01:10,136 showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs 17 00:01:10,136 --> 00:01:14,307 with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. 18 00:01:14,424 --> 00:01:18,228 Finally, all of you have unity of mind, sympathy, 19 00:01:18,595 --> 00:01:22,282 brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. 20 00:01:22,615 --> 00:01:25,518 Do not repay evil for evil or reviling 21 00:01:25,518 --> 00:01:28,521 for reviling, but on the contrary, bless. 22 00:01:28,772 --> 00:01:31,758 For to this you are called, that you may obtain a blessing 23 00:01:32,342 --> 00:01:36,262 for whoever desires to love life and see good days. 24 00:01:36,663 --> 00:01:40,433 Let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit. 25 00:01:40,917 --> 00:01:43,787 Let him turn away from evil and do good. 26 00:01:43,787 --> 00:01:46,139 Let him seek peace and pursue it. 27 00:01:46,139 --> 00:01:49,142 For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, 28 00:01:49,225 --> 00:01:52,128 and his ears are open to their prayer. 29 00:01:52,128 --> 00:01:55,281 But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil. 30 00:01:58,818 --> 00:01:59,252 Everybody, good 31 00:01:59,252 --> 00:02:02,255 morning and welcome to Christ Community Chapel. 32 00:02:02,272 --> 00:02:05,275 I am really glad you're here. 33 00:02:05,542 --> 00:02:07,110 Thanks for coming. 34 00:02:07,110 --> 00:02:07,277 All right. 35 00:02:07,277 --> 00:02:11,097 This is our sixth week of our ten week series we're calling Rise Up. 36 00:02:11,698 --> 00:02:14,367 We're spending ten weeks in the book of First Peter. 37 00:02:14,367 --> 00:02:17,370 And every week we remind you that first Peter 38 00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:21,891 was written to a group of Christians who are living in a hostile culture. 39 00:02:22,909 --> 00:02:25,795 Culture is to a human being a little bit 40 00:02:25,795 --> 00:02:28,798 like a water is to a fish. 41 00:02:28,915 --> 00:02:31,768 It is so much a part of your environment, it's hard 42 00:02:31,768 --> 00:02:35,038 to recognize the impact it's having on you. 43 00:02:35,038 --> 00:02:39,259 But when you become a Christian, you realize that culture has a current 44 00:02:39,259 --> 00:02:42,328 like a river and it's taking you somewhere. 45 00:02:43,079 --> 00:02:46,533 And sometimes as a Christian, you not only have to recognize 46 00:02:46,533 --> 00:02:51,237 the impact of culture, but also resist where it's taking you. 47 00:02:51,237 --> 00:02:55,675 And that can require courage and intentionality. 48 00:02:56,609 --> 00:03:00,079 The early Christians were able to live in such a way that they actually 49 00:03:00,079 --> 00:03:04,434 changed their culture, and a lot of us would love to change our culture. 50 00:03:04,434 --> 00:03:06,953 Now we just don't know how. 51 00:03:06,953 --> 00:03:10,039 Well, that's why we're spending these ten weeks in first Peter, 52 00:03:11,090 --> 00:03:13,743 last week, pastors that covered the passage 53 00:03:13,743 --> 00:03:16,946 that dealt with the governing authorities. 54 00:03:17,780 --> 00:03:21,084 It's easy to think of culture as being out there. 55 00:03:22,068 --> 00:03:25,788 What happens when the culture you want to change 56 00:03:26,689 --> 00:03:29,058 is really close to you? 57 00:03:29,058 --> 00:03:31,861 What do you do if the people you want to change 58 00:03:31,861 --> 00:03:36,683 are the ones that live in your home, or the ones that you worship with? 59 00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:39,602 That's what this passage is about. 60 00:03:39,602 --> 00:03:42,322 So if you have your Bibles, you can go ahead and turn to First Peter 61 00:03:42,322 --> 00:03:43,890 chapter three. 62 00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:45,742 If you don't have a Bible, don't worry about it. 63 00:03:45,742 --> 00:03:49,612 The verses that I'm going to reference will come up on the screen. 64 00:03:50,430 --> 00:03:55,301 If you want to hold a Bible in your hand and kind of follow along with me, 65 00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:59,339 you can use one of our church Bibles and it's on page 954 66 00:03:59,689 --> 00:04:04,827 and our church Bibles, page 954 are here are the three points we had it read to us. 67 00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:09,032 Let me give you the three points I want to pull out of these 12 verses. 68 00:04:09,649 --> 00:04:14,604 I want to talk about the transforming power of true beauty, 69 00:04:15,204 --> 00:04:18,207 the transforming power of true strength, 70 00:04:18,241 --> 00:04:21,594 and the transforming power of true community. 71 00:04:22,312 --> 00:04:26,382 First, the transforming power of true beauty. 72 00:04:26,399 --> 00:04:29,252 This is what it says. The first four verses. 73 00:04:29,252 --> 00:04:32,455 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, 74 00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:35,575 so that even if some do not obey 75 00:04:35,575 --> 00:04:39,812 the word, they may be one without a word by the conduct of their wives. 76 00:04:39,812 --> 00:04:42,799 When they see your respectful and pure conduct, 77 00:04:43,016 --> 00:04:44,867 do not let your adorning be external. 78 00:04:44,867 --> 00:04:49,555 The braiding of hair, the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear. 79 00:04:49,555 --> 00:04:53,693 But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable 80 00:04:53,693 --> 00:04:56,696 beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, 81 00:04:56,996 --> 00:05:00,049 which in God's sight is very precious. 82 00:05:01,467 --> 00:05:02,402 I went off 83 00:05:02,402 --> 00:05:06,773 a a woman became a Christian back in the first century. 84 00:05:06,773 --> 00:05:09,859 It could cause a major disruption in the home. 85 00:05:10,410 --> 00:05:11,544 It still can. 86 00:05:11,544 --> 00:05:15,415 So Peter is actually answering the question, 87 00:05:15,415 --> 00:05:20,403 how does a believing wife impact an unbelieving husband? 88 00:05:21,170 --> 00:05:25,308 How does any wife change her husband? 89 00:05:25,858 --> 00:05:29,462 All right, wives, if you are wanting to change your husband, 90 00:05:29,462 --> 00:05:31,547 I'll tell you how to do it. 91 00:05:31,547 --> 00:05:34,133 Make a list of the top ten things you want to change. 92 00:05:34,133 --> 00:05:36,836 Read him that list in the morning, every night. 93 00:05:36,836 --> 00:05:37,670 Go over the list. 94 00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:38,905 Tell him how he's doing. 95 00:05:38,905 --> 00:05:41,607 All right. If you're writing that down, stop. 96 00:05:41,607 --> 00:05:44,010 I just want you to know 97 00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:45,478 some of you are really pumped. 98 00:05:45,478 --> 00:05:46,212 You're just going to. 99 00:05:46,212 --> 00:05:49,198 Finally, something I can use from a sermon, right? 100 00:05:49,732 --> 00:05:52,735 That's not the way you're going to change your husband. 101 00:05:52,735 --> 00:05:55,705 You know, when we think about changing someone, 102 00:05:55,705 --> 00:05:58,491 we usually focus on them, which makes sense. 103 00:05:59,842 --> 00:06:02,578 But when the Bible talks about changing some of that, 104 00:06:02,578 --> 00:06:05,581 the focus is always on us. 105 00:06:06,149 --> 00:06:09,152 You know, I almost made these three points. 106 00:06:09,419 --> 00:06:12,538 Instead of the beauty and strength and community almost made him. 107 00:06:13,322 --> 00:06:16,109 Don't worry about him. Worry about you. 108 00:06:16,109 --> 00:06:17,844 Don't worry about her. Worry about you. 109 00:06:17,844 --> 00:06:19,429 Don't worry about them. 110 00:06:19,429 --> 00:06:20,179 Worry about you. 111 00:06:20,179 --> 00:06:24,650 Because the the Bible is always focused on us 112 00:06:25,852 --> 00:06:27,019 in this passage. 113 00:06:27,019 --> 00:06:30,139 But what Peter does is he 114 00:06:30,239 --> 00:06:33,209 actually gives a wife two things. 115 00:06:33,209 --> 00:06:37,647 Two ways to change her husband one, 116 00:06:37,647 --> 00:06:42,318 he restates the pattern and then he redefines beauty. 117 00:06:43,052 --> 00:06:46,038 First, he restates the pattern. 118 00:06:47,223 --> 00:06:51,327 There's a pattern for changing people 119 00:06:52,278 --> 00:06:55,281 that is older than the Earth itself. 120 00:06:55,648 --> 00:06:59,936 It's weaved into the very fabric of the universe. 121 00:07:00,870 --> 00:07:03,806 And that pattern is surrender. 122 00:07:04,857 --> 00:07:07,043 It is laying aside. 123 00:07:07,043 --> 00:07:10,046 I'll give you a good definition of 124 00:07:10,163 --> 00:07:12,198 of submit or surrender. 125 00:07:12,198 --> 00:07:15,418 It's laying aside your desires 126 00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:18,838 for a higher purpose. 127 00:07:18,838 --> 00:07:22,108 Zach mentioned that last week in his sermon. 128 00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:25,228 If you didn't, if you missed last week's sermon, you should watch it. 129 00:07:25,228 --> 00:07:28,231 It was really, really a great sermon. 130 00:07:28,948 --> 00:07:31,134 But in it, what 131 00:07:31,134 --> 00:07:35,755 what Zach did was he drew attention to how Jesus 132 00:07:36,088 --> 00:07:39,742 actually changed you, how Jesus actually changed me. 133 00:07:40,877 --> 00:07:43,729 And he referenced, in the Garden of Gethsemane. 134 00:07:43,729 --> 00:07:47,066 He hours before Jesus goes to the cross, 135 00:07:47,783 --> 00:07:50,453 he is struggling in prayer. 136 00:07:50,453 --> 00:07:52,638 And this is what it says. 137 00:07:52,638 --> 00:07:53,823 And going a little further. 138 00:07:53,823 --> 00:07:56,809 And he fell on his face and prayed, saying, My father, 139 00:07:57,326 --> 00:07:59,962 if it be possible, let this cup pass through me. 140 00:07:59,962 --> 00:08:02,215 That was his own personal desire. 141 00:08:03,599 --> 00:08:06,352 And then it says, 142 00:08:06,352 --> 00:08:07,620 let this pass for me 143 00:08:07,620 --> 00:08:10,857 nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will. 144 00:08:11,807 --> 00:08:13,793 That was the surrender. 145 00:08:13,793 --> 00:08:17,313 And from that that unleashed the power of the gospel, 146 00:08:17,313 --> 00:08:20,399 which is the power to transform human 147 00:08:20,399 --> 00:08:23,402 beings and life on this planet. 148 00:08:24,053 --> 00:08:28,257 No power has ever no greater power has ever been unleashed 149 00:08:28,457 --> 00:08:31,711 on this world than what happened right there. 150 00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:35,631 So, and last week, 151 00:08:35,631 --> 00:08:39,769 the thing that that struck me in Zach's sermon, too, he had 152 00:08:40,303 --> 00:08:42,989 a, he drew a Venn diagram 153 00:08:42,989 --> 00:08:45,925 with two circles that were intersecting 154 00:08:45,925 --> 00:08:49,612 and one circle represented you, and the other circle represented Jesus. 155 00:08:49,612 --> 00:08:53,966 And what he said was the overlap, however big that overlap is between 156 00:08:53,966 --> 00:08:58,621 those two circles is how much you are like Jesus. 157 00:08:59,906 --> 00:09:02,308 Now, what Peter is saying 158 00:09:02,308 --> 00:09:05,311 when he says, wives, be subject to your own husbands. 159 00:09:05,678 --> 00:09:07,980 He is not telling them to be a doormat. 160 00:09:07,980 --> 00:09:09,782 He's not telling him to accept abuse. 161 00:09:09,782 --> 00:09:13,736 What he's telling them is to have the quiet confidence 162 00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:17,373 that when they become more like 163 00:09:17,373 --> 00:09:20,359 Jesus, when they're willing to put aside 164 00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:24,263 their own personal desires for a higher purpose, 165 00:09:24,497 --> 00:09:27,500 they will actually unleash a power, 166 00:09:27,917 --> 00:09:30,620 the power of God in their home. 167 00:09:32,154 --> 00:09:35,608 So, ladies, I will tell you this if you want to change your husband, 168 00:09:35,608 --> 00:09:38,611 the best way to do it is for you to become 169 00:09:39,211 --> 00:09:41,781 a little more like Jesus, 170 00:09:41,781 --> 00:09:44,033 to serve a little bit more 171 00:09:44,033 --> 00:09:47,753 like Jesus for love, a little bit more like Jesus. 172 00:09:47,753 --> 00:09:49,855 That's the first thing that Peter does. 173 00:09:49,855 --> 00:09:52,758 The second thing is he redefines beauty. 174 00:09:52,758 --> 00:09:57,229 He says, don't focus on outward beauty, but he says, focus on inward beauty. 175 00:09:57,229 --> 00:09:57,546 There. 176 00:09:57,546 --> 00:10:02,251 There is a movie that came out in 2001 called shallow how the comedy 177 00:10:02,251 --> 00:10:06,622 with Jack Black and Gwyneth Paltrow and Jack black. 178 00:10:06,622 --> 00:10:09,625 This is the premise of the movie Jack Black, 179 00:10:10,977 --> 00:10:14,397 played how and how was struggling to find a woman 180 00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:18,234 who would meet his very, very high standards of beauty. 181 00:10:19,135 --> 00:10:23,189 And then he gets stuck in an elevator with Tony Robbins, who's a self-help guru, 182 00:10:23,189 --> 00:10:27,810 and he, Tony Robbins, hypnotizes him, reprograms him to see the beauty 183 00:10:27,810 --> 00:10:32,214 inside of a woman not on the outside and the whole rest of the movie. 184 00:10:32,515 --> 00:10:36,802 Jack black is seeing things that no one else sees. 185 00:10:36,802 --> 00:10:40,289 I think it's fascinating that Hollywood would make that movie 186 00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:42,541 when our culture focuses it. 187 00:10:42,541 --> 00:10:46,979 Maybe particularly Hollywood focuses so much on the external. 188 00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:50,916 And I want you to know when when Peter is saying, don't pay attention to. 189 00:10:50,966 --> 00:10:54,086 He's not saying that you can't do any of those things. 190 00:10:54,086 --> 00:10:57,740 You can't braid your hair, wear jewelry, or try to look good on the outside. 191 00:10:57,740 --> 00:11:01,460 What he's saying is that is that beauty doesn't have the power 192 00:11:02,128 --> 00:11:06,849 that inward beauty has the the beauty that God values. 193 00:11:06,932 --> 00:11:11,604 There's a story in Samuel where Samuel is sent to find the next king of Israel, 194 00:11:12,121 --> 00:11:15,358 and he sent to the home of a man named Jesse, who has eight sons. 195 00:11:15,775 --> 00:11:19,261 And God says to Samuel, one of those sons is going to be the next king. 196 00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:22,648 Now God could have told him which one right then, 197 00:11:23,899 --> 00:11:26,902 but instead he wants to teach Samuel something. 198 00:11:27,203 --> 00:11:31,640 So sure enough, Jesse brings out his firstborn son, who is tall and handsome. 199 00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:34,043 And Samuel says, this has got to be the guy. 200 00:11:34,043 --> 00:11:35,911 What a great king he would make. 201 00:11:35,911 --> 00:11:39,648 And God speaks to Samuel and says, it's not him, Samuel. 202 00:11:39,648 --> 00:11:42,501 You look on the outside, 203 00:11:42,501 --> 00:11:43,736 but I look on the inside. 204 00:11:43,736 --> 00:11:46,589 I look at the heart. 205 00:11:46,589 --> 00:11:48,507 And then David, who was the youngest and least 206 00:11:48,507 --> 00:11:51,510 impressive, is the one that God says he's the one. 207 00:11:52,762 --> 00:11:55,831 So even in the Old Testament when it talks about the coming Messiah, 208 00:11:56,065 --> 00:11:59,702 what Jesus was going to look like physically, it says he was not going to be 209 00:11:59,785 --> 00:12:02,788 an attractive man physically. 210 00:12:03,689 --> 00:12:07,760 But I just started to read a book this morning on the beauty of Jesus. 211 00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:11,847 It was the beauty of Jesus that drew people to him. 212 00:12:13,132 --> 00:12:14,567 So what 213 00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:18,270 Peter is telling wives, there's a way for you 214 00:12:18,387 --> 00:12:22,558 not only to impact your husband and change them, but there's a way for you 215 00:12:22,558 --> 00:12:25,728 to become even more beautiful. 216 00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:30,783 And that, again, is to become a little bit more like Jesus. 217 00:12:31,734 --> 00:12:34,220 So those are the two things that he gives the wife. 218 00:12:34,220 --> 00:12:35,421 Then he moves to the husband. 219 00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:37,440 And this is what he says, the husband. 220 00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:41,360 Verse seven likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, 221 00:12:41,811 --> 00:12:45,181 showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs 222 00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:49,702 with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. 223 00:12:50,035 --> 00:12:50,252 All right. 224 00:12:50,252 --> 00:12:54,657 If I was a woman right away, I'd be irked by being called the weaker vessel. 225 00:12:55,007 --> 00:12:57,660 I get that, so let me cover that first. 226 00:12:58,611 --> 00:12:59,779 When Peter says weaker 227 00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:02,932 vessel, he's not talking about value. 228 00:13:02,932 --> 00:13:05,301 He's not talking about equality. 229 00:13:05,301 --> 00:13:07,503 What he's talking about is physical strength. 230 00:13:07,503 --> 00:13:11,423 But even more than that social vulnerability, 231 00:13:11,423 --> 00:13:14,426 it was much more dangerous in the first century 232 00:13:14,727 --> 00:13:17,730 to be a woman than it was to be a man. 233 00:13:18,330 --> 00:13:23,552 And what Peter is telling a husband is, you need to take all of your advantage 234 00:13:23,552 --> 00:13:27,590 and make sure you use it on behalf of your wife. 235 00:13:28,073 --> 00:13:30,242 It just like he gives the wife two things. 236 00:13:30,242 --> 00:13:31,727 He gives the husband two things. 237 00:13:31,727 --> 00:13:34,847 He is the way to live with his wife, 238 00:13:34,847 --> 00:13:38,634 and then the way to see his wife first, the way to live. 239 00:13:38,751 --> 00:13:41,754 He says, live with your wife in an understanding way. 240 00:13:42,738 --> 00:13:46,826 In order to understand your wife, you have to know her story. 241 00:13:47,810 --> 00:13:48,978 You have to know her strengths. 242 00:13:48,978 --> 00:13:50,179 You have to know her pressures. 243 00:13:50,179 --> 00:13:53,182 You have to know her pain. 244 00:13:53,899 --> 00:13:55,367 Years ago, I don't know 245 00:13:55,367 --> 00:13:58,370 what precipitated this conversation, 246 00:13:58,487 --> 00:14:02,124 but my wife Karen and I were talking and she ended up saying to me, 247 00:14:02,641 --> 00:14:05,244 Joe, you really don't know 248 00:14:05,244 --> 00:14:07,646 what my life is like. 249 00:14:07,646 --> 00:14:10,316 You don't know what I do day to day. 250 00:14:10,316 --> 00:14:13,319 What she was saying is, you don't understand me. 251 00:14:13,736 --> 00:14:17,389 And I remember feeling really defensive and I was about to respond. 252 00:14:17,389 --> 00:14:20,943 But those kind of conversations to me are a little bit like playing chess. 253 00:14:21,293 --> 00:14:23,846 And I have to anticipate the next move. 254 00:14:23,846 --> 00:14:27,533 So if I said to her, that's crazy, of course I understand you, 255 00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:28,767 I know what you do. 256 00:14:28,767 --> 00:14:32,238 And then her move would have been, well, then what did I do yesterday? 257 00:14:32,421 --> 00:14:34,757 At which point I would go, yeah. 258 00:14:35,791 --> 00:14:38,777 So I just knocked over my king apologized, 259 00:14:39,445 --> 00:14:42,648 and I said, let's go to lunch on Tuesday 260 00:14:42,648 --> 00:14:45,651 and I had lunch on Tuesday, had a yellow pad. 261 00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:49,471 And I said, I want to know what you do on Monday. 262 00:14:49,471 --> 00:14:51,690 I don't know what you do on Tuesday. 263 00:14:51,690 --> 00:14:52,675 And I went through every day. 264 00:14:52,675 --> 00:14:56,662 And now for years now, before I leave for work, I ask her, 265 00:14:56,879 --> 00:14:58,697 what do you have going on today? 266 00:14:58,697 --> 00:15:02,568 And then I try to remember when I come home to say, how did that go? 267 00:15:03,602 --> 00:15:08,090 Well, I'm trying to do is live with her in an understanding way. 268 00:15:08,574 --> 00:15:11,610 Men, can I can I ask if the two of us just sat down 269 00:15:12,711 --> 00:15:13,462 with no one else? 270 00:15:13,462 --> 00:15:14,730 And I said, tell me about your wife. 271 00:15:14,730 --> 00:15:16,615 Tell me her five greatest strengths. 272 00:15:17,733 --> 00:15:20,185 Tell me what keeps her up at night. 273 00:15:20,185 --> 00:15:23,155 Some of the pain she is carrying today. 274 00:15:23,155 --> 00:15:25,341 Could you tell me? 275 00:15:25,341 --> 00:15:27,543 So, according to Peter, 276 00:15:27,543 --> 00:15:30,412 if you're a Christian and you're married 277 00:15:30,412 --> 00:15:33,482 as a husband, ignorance is not neutral. 278 00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:36,468 It's neglect. 279 00:15:36,468 --> 00:15:38,237 That's the first thing. 280 00:15:38,237 --> 00:15:42,324 The second thing he gives them, he gives husbands, is how to see your wife. 281 00:15:42,992 --> 00:15:47,696 He says they are fellow heirs with you of the grace of life. 282 00:15:47,696 --> 00:15:53,002 When he says that, he's not just saying that they are co-equal heirs 283 00:15:53,002 --> 00:15:56,005 with you and are equal to you in every way. 284 00:15:57,089 --> 00:16:01,760 He is also reminding the husbands that your wife is a daughter 285 00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:04,763 of the King of the universe. 286 00:16:05,597 --> 00:16:07,082 I have two daughters. 287 00:16:07,082 --> 00:16:10,919 I love them fiercely, and I always have. 288 00:16:11,453 --> 00:16:12,471 Now they're both married, 289 00:16:13,622 --> 00:16:16,675 so I watch how their husbands treat them 290 00:16:17,993 --> 00:16:18,811 right. 291 00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:21,880 Both those guys come to this church, so I'm watching. 292 00:16:26,268 --> 00:16:29,271 The reason is because I care, 293 00:16:30,139 --> 00:16:31,290 right? 294 00:16:31,290 --> 00:16:31,940 You know, 295 00:16:31,940 --> 00:16:36,078 at the end of that passage, it says so that your prayers will not be hindered. 296 00:16:36,078 --> 00:16:41,333 Listen, men, you mistreat a daughter of the king of the universe. 297 00:16:42,117 --> 00:16:44,586 Heaven will go silent. 298 00:16:44,586 --> 00:16:48,957 So, Peter say, all right, so Peter starts out by saying, listen, 299 00:16:48,957 --> 00:16:52,411 if if the culture you want to change is the one that you lives 300 00:16:52,428 --> 00:16:55,431 right in your home, this is the way you do it. 301 00:16:57,232 --> 00:16:57,983 You got to work on. 302 00:16:57,983 --> 00:17:00,986 You become more like Jesus. 303 00:17:01,203 --> 00:17:03,272 Jesus is always easier. 304 00:17:03,272 --> 00:17:07,760 It's more powerful to experience Jesus than to just hear about him. 305 00:17:09,378 --> 00:17:11,880 And that's particularly true in your home. 306 00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:15,718 Then he jumps to the community at large, to the whole church, and he says this. 307 00:17:16,051 --> 00:17:18,587 Finally, all of you have unity of mind, 308 00:17:18,587 --> 00:17:21,623 sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. 309 00:17:22,157 --> 00:17:25,227 Do you not repay evil for evil or reviling 310 00:17:25,227 --> 00:17:28,230 for reviling, but on the contrary, bless? 311 00:17:28,397 --> 00:17:32,067 For to this you are called, that you may obtain a blessing. 312 00:17:32,901 --> 00:17:36,121 You know when when you read that you don't have to think very hard 313 00:17:36,121 --> 00:17:40,592 to realize that inside the walls of the church was not a picnic. 314 00:17:40,943 --> 00:17:43,679 When he says, don't repay evil for evil, 315 00:17:43,679 --> 00:17:46,682 he's talking about inside of here. 316 00:17:47,366 --> 00:17:50,002 And the reason is because 317 00:17:50,002 --> 00:17:52,404 churches are full of half 318 00:17:52,404 --> 00:17:55,557 baked followers of Jesus, right? 319 00:17:55,607 --> 00:17:57,659 You're half baked the people around you. 320 00:17:57,659 --> 00:18:02,147 And that means we're all these consent, these these circles, this Venn diagram. 321 00:18:02,147 --> 00:18:04,817 Some of us have a tiny sliver where we're like, Jesus, 322 00:18:04,817 --> 00:18:08,687 some of us have a little bit more that we are like Jesus, 323 00:18:09,505 --> 00:18:13,892 but it makes sense that there's going to be conflict inside of here. 324 00:18:13,892 --> 00:18:17,663 But one of the things that made the Christian community so much different 325 00:18:17,663 --> 00:18:21,500 than the culture out there is when people came in, they realized something. 326 00:18:21,867 --> 00:18:23,485 They do things differently. 327 00:18:23,485 --> 00:18:24,503 One of them, 328 00:18:24,503 --> 00:18:28,040 one of the negative things about having a lot of churches, a lot of good churches 329 00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:31,110 in the same area, is that it's easy to just get upset with 330 00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:34,163 somebody and just leave and go to another church. 331 00:18:34,163 --> 00:18:37,766 And, and I get that there are good reasons to leave a church, 332 00:18:38,100 --> 00:18:41,904 but sometimes you can short circuit what God wants to do, and you 333 00:18:42,738 --> 00:18:46,041 because remember it, my points were almost 334 00:18:46,525 --> 00:18:49,528 don't worry about them, worry about you. 335 00:18:49,678 --> 00:18:53,148 God can use anything and everything 336 00:18:53,148 --> 00:18:56,485 that is happening to you to make you more like Jesus. 337 00:18:57,536 --> 00:18:59,087 That is so 338 00:18:59,087 --> 00:19:03,242 hard to actually wrap our heads around and embrace. 339 00:19:03,242 --> 00:19:05,327 But it's true. 340 00:19:05,327 --> 00:19:08,597 God can use anything and everything that's happening in 341 00:19:08,597 --> 00:19:11,600 you right now to make you more like Jesus. 342 00:19:12,768 --> 00:19:17,222 Peter then goes through kind of the five characteristics of a community, 343 00:19:17,222 --> 00:19:20,209 a church that can actually have the power to transform 344 00:19:20,726 --> 00:19:23,478 the first thing he says unity of mind. 345 00:19:23,478 --> 00:19:23,879 I love that. 346 00:19:23,879 --> 00:19:28,467 That means the we have one thing, one thing that we can agree on. 347 00:19:28,467 --> 00:19:32,487 I was some years ago when the Cavs were in the playoffs. 348 00:19:33,138 --> 00:19:35,874 I was on my way to a Cavs game, 349 00:19:35,874 --> 00:19:38,877 and it happened to be when racial tensions 350 00:19:39,077 --> 00:19:42,114 here on our nation were pretty high. 351 00:19:43,081 --> 00:19:45,984 And as I got close to Rocket Mortgage Arena, I. 352 00:19:45,984 --> 00:19:50,539 I was stopped at a stoplight and I looked over at the car next to me. 353 00:19:51,273 --> 00:19:55,377 And the driver was a man about my age who was an African-American man. 354 00:19:55,377 --> 00:20:00,232 We locked eyes and we had the exact same Cavs t shirt on, 355 00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:03,652 and we looked at each other at the same time. 356 00:20:03,652 --> 00:20:06,655 We did this. 357 00:20:06,889 --> 00:20:09,441 Right. 358 00:20:09,441 --> 00:20:11,660 If something is 359 00:20:11,660 --> 00:20:15,931 as shallow as rooting for the same team 360 00:20:16,999 --> 00:20:21,003 can overcome racial tensions, even for a moment, 361 00:20:22,070 --> 00:20:24,323 because at that moment we had unity of mind. 362 00:20:24,323 --> 00:20:26,575 How much more 363 00:20:26,575 --> 00:20:29,661 should we be able to overcome the differences of the people 364 00:20:29,661 --> 00:20:32,331 sitting around us? 365 00:20:32,331 --> 00:20:34,549 Because we believe in Jesus? 366 00:20:34,549 --> 00:20:36,768 There isn't a person here. 367 00:20:36,768 --> 00:20:39,771 You shouldn't be able to look at and do a. 368 00:20:41,940 --> 00:20:42,441 Sit with. 369 00:20:42,441 --> 00:20:43,976 Together we're together. 370 00:20:43,976 --> 00:20:44,910 That's unity of mind. 371 00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:47,095 Second thing he says is sympathy. 372 00:20:47,095 --> 00:20:49,131 And sympathy is to feel what somebody else feels. 373 00:20:49,131 --> 00:20:50,782 But let me give you a different kind of twist. 374 00:20:50,782 --> 00:20:53,785 I think sympathy is is thinking the 375 00:20:54,002 --> 00:20:56,989 the best of somebody, not the worst of somebody. 376 00:20:56,989 --> 00:21:00,442 You know, I've told you before that one of my struggles is, 377 00:21:00,692 --> 00:21:04,129 how I judge other drivers when I'm out on the road. 378 00:21:04,730 --> 00:21:08,417 And one of the things that bugs me is when somebody drives 379 00:21:08,417 --> 00:21:11,753 under the speed limit, like, if you're driving 35 380 00:21:11,753 --> 00:21:15,207 and it's a 45, I'm like, what in the world? 381 00:21:16,908 --> 00:21:17,960 And then I remembered when I 382 00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:20,963 was teaching my kids to drive and they were driving. 383 00:21:21,830 --> 00:21:24,299 They drove slower than the speed I wanted them to. 384 00:21:24,299 --> 00:21:27,152 It was safer for everybody if they drove. 385 00:21:27,152 --> 00:21:28,287 And I remember cars 386 00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:32,190 being lined up behind me and just going, just take it easy, just relax. 387 00:21:32,190 --> 00:21:35,177 Don't you see? It's a it's a kid, 388 00:21:35,327 --> 00:21:36,595 but nobody would think so. 389 00:21:36,595 --> 00:21:40,248 Now, if you're driving in front of me and you're going 390 00:21:40,248 --> 00:21:44,152 35 and a 45, I'm going to assume you're just learning how to drive, right? 391 00:21:44,152 --> 00:21:46,672 That's sympathy. 392 00:21:46,672 --> 00:21:49,941 But when you look at somebody here in church 393 00:21:51,059 --> 00:21:54,029 and they're not acting the way you think they should act 394 00:21:54,029 --> 00:21:57,199 or they've said something to you, they shouldn't say, I want you to try to 395 00:21:57,749 --> 00:21:58,350 have sympathy. 396 00:21:58,350 --> 00:22:02,070 Everybody is carrying around some kind of pain. 397 00:22:02,988 --> 00:22:04,489 That's the second thing. 398 00:22:04,489 --> 00:22:06,708 The third thing, he says, is brotherly love. 399 00:22:06,708 --> 00:22:08,043 That's a particular kind of love. 400 00:22:09,227 --> 00:22:11,463 A lot of you have siblings. 401 00:22:11,463 --> 00:22:13,131 One of the things that is true is siblings. 402 00:22:13,131 --> 00:22:15,017 You can't get rid of them. 403 00:22:15,017 --> 00:22:17,519 You are stuck with those siblings. 404 00:22:17,519 --> 00:22:21,273 That's the kind of love that happens inside. 405 00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:21,840 And that's 406 00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:26,611 why it's good to just hang in there and let God do the work inside of you. 407 00:22:26,611 --> 00:22:27,896 He wants to do. 408 00:22:27,896 --> 00:22:30,899 When there are people with sharp edges around you. 409 00:22:31,700 --> 00:22:36,355 And then he he says, A tender heart and a tender heart 410 00:22:36,355 --> 00:22:40,559 is not allowing pain to make you hard, 411 00:22:41,393 --> 00:22:44,396 but allow pain to keep you soft. 412 00:22:44,913 --> 00:22:47,215 I had a friend give me this book last week. 413 00:22:47,215 --> 00:22:50,302 It's called Sacred Fire and I read this. 414 00:22:51,169 --> 00:22:53,188 It says all of us will get hurt. 415 00:22:53,188 --> 00:22:54,589 That's a given. 416 00:22:54,589 --> 00:22:56,341 However, this is the challenge. 417 00:22:56,341 --> 00:23:00,379 How we handle that hurt with either bitterness or forgiveness will cover 418 00:23:00,379 --> 00:23:04,099 the rest of our lives and determine what kind of person we're going to be. 419 00:23:04,766 --> 00:23:09,721 Suffering and humiliation will either soften our hearts or hardened our souls. 420 00:23:11,223 --> 00:23:13,458 One of the things that stood out 421 00:23:13,458 --> 00:23:16,495 in a Christian community in the first century is when people walked 422 00:23:16,495 --> 00:23:21,450 in, they realized people had the same kind of pain that they did out there. 423 00:23:21,950 --> 00:23:24,686 But people inside handled it differently. 424 00:23:24,686 --> 00:23:27,689 Instead of making them hard, it made them soft. 425 00:23:27,839 --> 00:23:30,842 Instead of making them bitter, it made them kind. 426 00:23:31,009 --> 00:23:34,830 And then finally says with a humbleness of mind, 427 00:23:35,781 --> 00:23:38,066 I read this this week about that. 428 00:23:38,066 --> 00:23:42,737 That that's having a a healthy self suspicion. 429 00:23:42,737 --> 00:23:45,107 That's what it said. 430 00:23:45,107 --> 00:23:46,558 That means to 431 00:23:46,558 --> 00:23:49,227 to believe that you might be wrong. 432 00:23:49,227 --> 00:23:51,897 You might be wrong 433 00:23:51,897 --> 00:23:54,900 when Peter is talking to a group of Christians 434 00:23:55,016 --> 00:23:57,752 who live in a hostile culture, and he's talking to them 435 00:23:57,752 --> 00:24:01,523 about not a culture out there on the East Coast or on the West Coast, 436 00:24:02,691 --> 00:24:05,694 but a culture that is right where they live, 437 00:24:06,745 --> 00:24:08,697 how they can change the people they live 438 00:24:08,697 --> 00:24:11,700 with, the change the people they worship with. 439 00:24:12,501 --> 00:24:16,021 He basically gave everyone the same task. 440 00:24:17,305 --> 00:24:20,308 He said, you want to change the people around you, 441 00:24:20,842 --> 00:24:23,845 be a little more, be a little more like Jesus. 442 00:24:24,446 --> 00:24:27,182 So this is my 443 00:24:27,182 --> 00:24:28,650 my assignment for you. 444 00:24:28,650 --> 00:24:32,237 And I started doing this in my quiet time in the morning in my journal. 445 00:24:32,237 --> 00:24:36,324 I would draw those concentric circles or those that Venn diagram, 446 00:24:37,292 --> 00:24:41,663 and I would draw it and how much I felt like I was overlapping. 447 00:24:41,663 --> 00:24:43,465 Jesus. 448 00:24:43,465 --> 00:24:45,767 And then I pray, 449 00:24:45,767 --> 00:24:48,086 Lord, by tonight, 450 00:24:48,086 --> 00:24:51,289 would you make me just a, just a little bit more like Jesus? 451 00:24:52,557 --> 00:24:55,527 So for you, by tomorrow, 452 00:24:55,527 --> 00:25:00,148 be asking God, make me just a little more like Jesus. 453 00:25:01,316 --> 00:25:04,319 And if all of us do that, 454 00:25:04,519 --> 00:25:07,706 there is no telling the power that will be unleashed 455 00:25:08,373 --> 00:25:11,359 in our homes and in our world. 456 00:25:11,459 --> 00:25:14,429 Would you pray with me? 457 00:25:14,429 --> 00:25:15,380 Our father in Heaven. 458 00:25:15,380 --> 00:25:18,383 I am grateful that you sent Jesus 459 00:25:18,900 --> 00:25:22,187 to live in our place and die in our place, and resurrect so that we could be 460 00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:25,373 reconciled to you so we could experience forgiveness, have hope. 461 00:25:26,691 --> 00:25:29,327 But I'm also grateful 462 00:25:29,327 --> 00:25:32,480 that you sent Jesus to transform us 463 00:25:33,231 --> 00:25:35,901 into his likeness, 464 00:25:35,901 --> 00:25:39,571 that even now we can become more like him. 465 00:25:39,571 --> 00:25:41,990 And as we do, 466 00:25:41,990 --> 00:25:44,993 we can impact the people around us 467 00:25:45,327 --> 00:25:48,330 in a way that we could never do it before. 468 00:25:49,347 --> 00:25:52,067 I pray that you would do that work inside of each 469 00:25:52,067 --> 00:25:55,070 one of us for your glory 470 00:25:55,186 --> 00:25:57,739 and for the the world's good. 471 00:25:57,739 --> 00:26:00,191 We pray this in Jesus name. Amen.