{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":0.0,"endTime":0.36,"body":"Music."},{"startTime":12.72,"endTime":17.1,"body":"Welcome to the uproot project,"},{"startTime":12.72,"endTime":17.1,"body":"podcast, where we dig deep to"},{"startTime":17.1,"endTime":21.2,"body":"uncover and dismantle toxic"},{"startTime":17.1,"endTime":21.2,"body":"beliefs about God, ourselves and"},{"startTime":21.2,"endTime":24.8,"body":"each other. Our goal is to"},{"startTime":21.2,"endTime":24.8,"body":"replant new insights in the"},{"startTime":24.8,"endTime":29.06,"body":"fertile soil of wisdom and love,"},{"startTime":24.8,"endTime":29.06,"body":"fostering personal growth and"},{"startTime":29.06,"endTime":33.26,"body":"transformation. Join us as we"},{"startTime":29.06,"endTime":33.26,"body":"explore new ways of thinking and"},{"startTime":33.26,"endTime":36.5,"body":"living in a world of complexity"},{"startTime":33.26,"endTime":36.5,"body":"and diversity."},{"startTime":39.32,"endTime":43.72,"body":"Hello and welcome to the first"},{"startTime":39.32,"endTime":43.72,"body":"episode of the uproot project."},{"startTime":43.72,"endTime":50.38,"body":"To him, I am Christian. She her,"},{"startTime":43.72,"endTime":50.38,"body":"I am Chris, he him, and I'm"},{"startTime":50.38,"endTime":55.12,"body":"Whitney. Also, she her, um, so"},{"startTime":50.38,"endTime":55.12,"body":"we're excited to have you all"},{"startTime":55.12,"endTime":59.68,"body":"join us, and as a norm setting"},{"startTime":55.12,"endTime":59.68,"body":"for this podcast, we want to"},{"startTime":59.68,"endTime":63.0,"body":"start always with a mindfulness"},{"startTime":59.68,"endTime":63.0,"body":"moment, just to welcome"},{"startTime":63.0,"endTime":65.88,"body":"everybody in the space. And to"},{"startTime":63.0,"endTime":65.88,"body":"be fully honest, we also need it"},{"startTime":65.88,"endTime":69.3,"body":"to ground ourselves in this"},{"startTime":65.88,"endTime":69.3,"body":"space. So if everyone could just"},{"startTime":69.3,"endTime":72.0,"body":"take a second, if you are"},{"startTime":69.3,"endTime":72.0,"body":"driving, do this with your eyes"},{"startTime":72.0,"endTime":76.08,"body":"open. Please be safe. If you are"},{"startTime":72.0,"endTime":76.08,"body":"not and you are in some place"},{"startTime":76.08,"endTime":79.2,"body":"that is safe, close your eyes"},{"startTime":76.08,"endTime":79.2,"body":"with me for just a few seconds,"},{"startTime":80.28,"endTime":82.82,"body":"and I want you to inhale. We're"},{"startTime":80.28,"endTime":82.82,"body":"going to do a quick box breath,"},{"startTime":83.3,"endTime":87.74,"body":"and then we'll get started. So"},{"startTime":83.3,"endTime":87.74,"body":"inhale to the count of 41234,"},{"startTime":91.58,"endTime":92.84,"body":"we'll hold for 4321,"},{"startTime":96.26,"endTime":97.88,"body":"release. 12341,"},{"startTime":101.18,"endTime":102.76,"body":"more time, inhale. 1234,"},{"startTime":106.06,"endTime":107.14,"body":"hold for 1234,"},{"startTime":111.1,"endTime":112.66,"body":"release. 1234,"},{"startTime":116.5,"endTime":120.78,"body":"so quick tool, I hope you all"},{"startTime":116.5,"endTime":120.78,"body":"are in this space. More"},{"startTime":120.78,"endTime":124.74,"body":"importantly, I hope you all are"},{"startTime":120.78,"endTime":124.74,"body":"in your bodies and feeling into"},{"startTime":124.74,"endTime":128.34,"body":"your body. Our body is"},{"startTime":124.74,"endTime":128.34,"body":"incredibly intelligent and lets"},{"startTime":128.34,"endTime":131.04,"body":"us know a lot of things. So if"},{"startTime":128.34,"endTime":131.04,"body":"you're there and you feel"},{"startTime":131.04,"endTime":133.86,"body":"yourself in that breath you are"},{"startTime":131.04,"endTime":133.86,"body":"holding or tensing, just try to"},{"startTime":133.86,"endTime":137.4,"body":"release whatever might be"},{"startTime":133.86,"endTime":137.4,"body":"tensing your body and come chill"},{"startTime":137.4,"endTime":140.22,"body":"on the couch with us. All right,"},{"startTime":137.4,"endTime":140.22,"body":"we're gonna get started. You."},{"startTime":140.22,"endTime":150.74,"body":"All right, so today's thing,"},{"startTime":140.22,"endTime":150.74,"body":"well, the thing for this season,"},{"startTime":150.74,"endTime":156.62,"body":"rather, is going to be talking"},{"startTime":150.74,"endTime":156.62,"body":"about the sin of certainty."},{"startTime":158.18,"endTime":162.1,"body":"If you are listening to this"},{"startTime":158.18,"endTime":162.1,"body":"podcast, you may have heard of"},{"startTime":162.1,"endTime":166.42,"body":"an author by the name of Peter"},{"startTime":162.1,"endTime":166.42,"body":"ends, and he has a very"},{"startTime":166.54,"endTime":173.02,"body":"enlightening book about the"},{"startTime":166.54,"endTime":173.02,"body":"subject, especially about when"},{"startTime":173.02,"endTime":174.34,"body":"we talk about"},{"startTime":176.14,"endTime":179.98,"body":"when things are being uprooted"},{"startTime":176.14,"endTime":179.98,"body":"from our lives, how we can hang"},{"startTime":179.98,"endTime":183.96,"body":"on the things that appear to be"},{"startTime":179.98,"endTime":183.96,"body":"normal, but they're slipping"},{"startTime":183.96,"endTime":187.74,"body":"through our fingers, and we need"},{"startTime":183.96,"endTime":187.74,"body":"to find a new way to reorient"},{"startTime":187.74,"endTime":193.98,"body":"ourselves, to go on to this"},{"startTime":187.74,"endTime":193.98,"body":"journey. And sometimes our"},{"startTime":193.98,"endTime":198.18,"body":"obsession with certainty can"},{"startTime":193.98,"endTime":198.18,"body":"cause us to do very harmful"},{"startTime":198.18,"endTime":198.6,"body":"things,"},{"startTime":199.62,"endTime":202.88,"body":"to both to ourselves and to the"},{"startTime":199.62,"endTime":202.88,"body":"people we love and the people we"},{"startTime":202.94,"endTime":203.54,"body":"don't love."},{"startTime":205.64,"endTime":208.04,"body":"So So Here's an excerpt"},{"startTime":209.84,"endTime":212.78,"body":"that I have from his book."},{"startTime":214.22,"endTime":217.46,"body":"And so we'll start there, and"},{"startTime":214.22,"endTime":217.46,"body":"we'll just launch out from there"},{"startTime":217.94,"endTime":223.3,"body":"our beliefs about God, which is"},{"startTime":217.94,"endTime":223.3,"body":"to say, our thoughts about God"},{"startTime":223.3,"endTime":226.42,"body":"are precious to us because they"},{"startTime":223.3,"endTime":226.42,"body":"give us a sense of who we are"},{"startTime":226.48,"endTime":231.28,"body":"and our place in this chaotic"},{"startTime":226.48,"endTime":231.28,"body":"world, and we often can't"},{"startTime":231.28,"endTime":237.04,"body":"imagine any other way of being"},{"startTime":231.28,"endTime":237.04,"body":"us. And so when our beliefs are"},{"startTime":237.04,"endTime":241.74,"body":"threatened, the instinct,"},{"startTime":237.04,"endTime":241.74,"body":"understandably, is to guard them"},{"startTime":241.74,"endTime":246.36,"body":"fiercely, to resist any move as"},{"startTime":241.74,"endTime":246.36,"body":"long as possible, to make the"},{"startTime":246.36,"endTime":250.68,"body":"stress go away and to stay in"},{"startTime":246.36,"endTime":250.68,"body":"the comfort of our familiar"},{"startTime":250.92,"endTime":255.48,"body":"spiritual homes. But in"},{"startTime":250.92,"endTime":255.48,"body":"resisting, we may actually be"},{"startTime":255.48,"endTime":260.3,"body":"missing an invitation to take a"},{"startTime":255.48,"endTime":260.3,"body":"sacred journey where we let go"},{"startTime":260.3,"endTime":264.62,"body":"of needing to be right and trust"},{"startTime":260.3,"endTime":264.62,"body":"God, regardless of what we feel"},{"startTime":264.62,"endTime":266.24,"body":"we know or don't know."},{"startTime":271.52,"endTime":274.7,"body":"Let's just sit in that for a"},{"startTime":271.52,"endTime":274.7,"body":"moment, yeah,"},{"startTime":276.74,"endTime":277.28,"body":"and"},{"startTime":278.84,"endTime":280.96,"body":"speak to any thoughts that may"},{"startTime":278.84,"endTime":280.96,"body":"arise from that?"},{"startTime":282.34,"endTime":287.8,"body":"Yeah, I think the first thing"},{"startTime":282.34,"endTime":287.8,"body":"that comes up for me and y'all"},{"startTime":287.8,"endTime":292.3,"body":"know this. So for context, we"},{"startTime":287.8,"endTime":292.3,"body":"are all close folks in this"},{"startTime":292.3,"endTime":292.84,"body":"room,"},{"startTime":294.34,"endTime":297.16,"body":"or am I going to get into our"},{"startTime":294.34,"endTime":297.16,"body":"relationship to one another?"},{"startTime":297.16,"endTime":299.86,"body":"Yeah, so me and the other Chris"},{"startTime":297.16,"endTime":299.86,"body":"are married."},{"startTime":300.0,"endTime":303.42,"body":"Yes, so Christian and"},{"startTime":300.0,"endTime":303.42,"body":"Christopher, the Christians are"},{"startTime":303.42,"endTime":309.54,"body":"married, and I Whitney, am"},{"startTime":303.42,"endTime":309.54,"body":"Christian's best friend of like"},{"startTime":309.72,"endTime":313.62,"body":"forever, like before, we have"},{"startTime":309.72,"endTime":313.62,"body":"memories. And so that makes her"},{"startTime":313.62,"endTime":316.74,"body":"my sister, period. The end,"},{"startTime":313.62,"endTime":316.74,"body":"fight your mama, and that makes"},{"startTime":316.74,"endTime":319.92,"body":"Christopher my brother. So also"},{"startTime":316.74,"endTime":319.92,"body":"fight your daddy. I don't care,"},{"startTime":320.04,"endTime":324.14,"body":"family, yeah, you can fight"},{"startTime":320.04,"endTime":324.14,"body":"everybody. We are family, and we"},{"startTime":324.56,"endTime":328.46,"body":"know each other really well, and"},{"startTime":324.56,"endTime":328.46,"body":"so we will try our best not to"},{"startTime":328.46,"endTime":331.94,"body":"have inside thingies, but we can"},{"startTime":328.46,"endTime":331.94,"body":"explain them, if possible, that"},{"startTime":331.94,"endTime":333.92,"body":"part, right? We will so in"},{"startTime":334.94,"endTime":339.26,"body":"thinking about uncertainty,"},{"startTime":334.94,"endTime":339.26,"body":"there is so I'm in a very"},{"startTime":339.26,"endTime":345.04,"body":"specific it feels like season of"},{"startTime":339.26,"endTime":345.04,"body":"my life where earlier this year,"},{"startTime":345.1,"endTime":347.86,"body":"at the top of the year in the"},{"startTime":345.1,"endTime":347.86,"body":"spring, well, I guess not the"},{"startTime":347.86,"endTime":349.6,"body":"top on top of the winter. Yes,"},{"startTime":347.86,"endTime":349.6,"body":"thank"},{"startTime":350.98,"endTime":355.3,"body":"you. I had this moment. And this"},{"startTime":350.98,"endTime":355.3,"body":"actually, I think, was my second"},{"startTime":355.3,"endTime":356.92,"body":"moment with this. So I was"},{"startTime":355.3,"endTime":356.92,"body":"working"},{"startTime":358.48,"endTime":362.1,"body":"in a leadership position at a"},{"startTime":358.48,"endTime":362.1,"body":"place, and it was one of those"},{"startTime":362.1,"endTime":366.66,"body":"moments where I it was time to"},{"startTime":362.1,"endTime":366.66,"body":"go, and I knew it was time to"},{"startTime":366.66,"endTime":369.66,"body":"go. And so in our like,"},{"startTime":366.66,"endTime":369.66,"body":"transition as an organization, I"},{"startTime":369.66,"endTime":372.78,"body":"was like, Oh, this is actually a"},{"startTime":369.66,"endTime":372.78,"body":"perfect time to leave. And the"},{"startTime":372.78,"endTime":376.32,"body":"plan was for me to like, off"},{"startTime":372.78,"endTime":376.32,"body":"board sometime closer to now, or"},{"startTime":376.32,"endTime":381.5,"body":"like, a month from now. And"},{"startTime":376.32,"endTime":381.5,"body":"oddly enough, last year, around"},{"startTime":381.5,"endTime":386.9,"body":"this time, I actually was like,"},{"startTime":381.5,"endTime":386.9,"body":"I'm out. Yeah, I'm ready to go."},{"startTime":386.9,"endTime":391.7,"body":"I hate this place. And instead"},{"startTime":386.9,"endTime":391.7,"body":"of leaving, because I was so"},{"startTime":391.7,"endTime":396.44,"body":"uncertain, right? I was like,"},{"startTime":391.7,"endTime":396.44,"body":"babes, yes, keep the pop in."},{"startTime":396.44,"endTime":397.16,"body":"It's important,"},{"startTime":399.02,"endTime":401.5,"body":"yeah. And so I was just like,"},{"startTime":399.02,"endTime":401.5,"body":"not only that, but like, can you"},{"startTime":401.5,"endTime":404.14,"body":"swing it, and what's going to"},{"startTime":401.5,"endTime":404.14,"body":"happen to you, and all these"},{"startTime":404.14,"endTime":406.12,"body":"things. And so I was like, oh,"},{"startTime":404.14,"endTime":406.12,"body":"things have changed. Things are"},{"startTime":406.12,"endTime":409.12,"body":"changing because there was a"},{"startTime":406.12,"endTime":409.12,"body":"little bit a change in our top"},{"startTime":409.12,"endTime":412.0,"body":"leadership, right? And so I was"},{"startTime":409.12,"endTime":412.0,"body":"like, Oh, let me give it a try."},{"startTime":412.06,"endTime":415.18,"body":"And, babe, we didn't even make"},{"startTime":412.06,"endTime":415.18,"body":"it six months before. I was"},{"startTime":416.2,"endTime":417.94,"body":"like, actually, right,"},{"startTime":419.02,"endTime":422.82,"body":"right? And so I thought it was"},{"startTime":419.02,"endTime":422.82,"body":"going to be good. It did not go"},{"startTime":422.82,"endTime":426.72,"body":"so well. And so what ended up"},{"startTime":422.82,"endTime":426.72,"body":"happening is I was in a moment"},{"startTime":427.08,"endTime":432.36,"body":"where a very specific series of"},{"startTime":427.08,"endTime":432.36,"body":"events happened to the point"},{"startTime":432.36,"endTime":434.16,"body":"that it was a blatant"},{"startTime":436.68,"endTime":441.74,"body":"disregard of my boundaries. It"},{"startTime":436.68,"endTime":441.74,"body":"was also a blatant like I could"},{"startTime":441.74,"endTime":443.96,"body":"not avoid it. So I'm one of"},{"startTime":441.74,"endTime":443.96,"body":"those people, one of the things"},{"startTime":443.96,"endTime":447.02,"body":"I don't like, and I'm, y'all, I"},{"startTime":443.96,"endTime":447.02,"body":"don't like to lie like, that's"},{"startTime":447.02,"endTime":449.48,"body":"just not my favorite thing at"},{"startTime":447.02,"endTime":449.48,"body":"all. And I can't stand to be"},{"startTime":449.48,"endTime":452.6,"body":"lied on so I try not to lie on"},{"startTime":449.48,"endTime":452.6,"body":"people. Um, I don't lie on"},{"startTime":452.6,"endTime":457.52,"body":"people. Um, but, but, yeah. So"},{"startTime":452.6,"endTime":457.52,"body":"that, like, dishonesty is a"},{"startTime":457.52,"endTime":461.92,"body":"thing for me. And there was a"},{"startTime":457.52,"endTime":461.92,"body":"situation where dishonesty was"},{"startTime":461.92,"endTime":464.86,"body":"abound, and so like, all of my"},{"startTime":461.92,"endTime":464.86,"body":"values were challenged, because"},{"startTime":464.86,"endTime":467.62,"body":"I was like, I can't trust you"},{"startTime":464.86,"endTime":467.62,"body":"enough to believe what you say,"},{"startTime":467.62,"endTime":471.1,"body":"baby. How we gonna do work,"},{"startTime":467.62,"endTime":471.1,"body":"especially at a leadership"},{"startTime":471.1,"endTime":471.64,"body":"level,"},{"startTime":473.26,"endTime":476.44,"body":"and everything in my life,"},{"startTime":473.26,"endTime":476.44,"body":"right? Like, God was supportive."},{"startTime":476.44,"endTime":478.78,"body":"Family was supportive. Friends"},{"startTime":476.44,"endTime":478.78,"body":"were like, Girl, it's time,"},{"startTime":478.78,"endTime":483.12,"body":"right? But this feeling of, I"},{"startTime":478.78,"endTime":483.12,"body":"don't know what's going to"},{"startTime":483.12,"endTime":488.28,"body":"happen. Had me shaken in my"},{"startTime":483.12,"endTime":488.28,"body":"boots. I was shaking in my"},{"startTime":488.28,"endTime":492.78,"body":"boots, but I but I had to jump."},{"startTime":488.28,"endTime":492.78,"body":"It was one of those, like I felt"},{"startTime":492.78,"endTime":497.46,"body":"the call on my spirit to say,"},{"startTime":492.78,"endTime":497.46,"body":"girl, I know you are unsure. We"},{"startTime":497.46,"endTime":503.18,"body":"are sure do it. So I did it, and"},{"startTime":497.46,"endTime":503.18,"body":"I've been fun employed, because"},{"startTime":503.18,"endTime":506.84,"body":"that's what I've been calling it"},{"startTime":503.18,"endTime":506.84,"body":"ever since. But I've been good"},{"startTime":506.9,"endTime":509.6,"body":"in ways that I didn't think I"},{"startTime":506.9,"endTime":509.6,"body":"was good. And what actually"},{"startTime":509.6,"endTime":514.88,"body":"opened for me is I've been on a"},{"startTime":509.6,"endTime":514.88,"body":"crazy personal and spiritual"},{"startTime":514.88,"endTime":517.52,"body":"journey. This summer. I was"},{"startTime":514.88,"endTime":517.52,"body":"like, would this journey have"},{"startTime":517.52,"endTime":521.98,"body":"happened if I was still working"},{"startTime":517.52,"endTime":521.98,"body":"there, and if it was trying to"},{"startTime":521.98,"endTime":525.82,"body":"happen, would I be able to"},{"startTime":521.98,"endTime":525.82,"body":"process it and experience it,"},{"startTime":525.82,"endTime":529.12,"body":"for it right the way that it's"},{"startTime":525.82,"endTime":529.12,"body":"because the answer is no, like,"},{"startTime":529.12,"endTime":532.84,"body":"I didn't have the space for"},{"startTime":529.12,"endTime":532.84,"body":"this, because it's been a lot of"},{"startTime":532.84,"endTime":537.52,"body":"shadow work, inner child work,"},{"startTime":532.84,"endTime":537.52,"body":"like, you know, primary wound"},{"startTime":537.52,"endTime":539.68,"body":"work. And it's been hard, it's"},{"startTime":540.76,"endTime":543.42,"body":"been hard, but it's been"},{"startTime":540.76,"endTime":543.42,"body":"beautiful, and so and I've been"},{"startTime":543.42,"endTime":547.5,"body":"saying to people, I'm like,"},{"startTime":543.42,"endTime":547.5,"body":"yeah, if you knew me in 2023 you"},{"startTime":547.62,"endTime":551.34,"body":"don't know me now. And if you"},{"startTime":547.62,"endTime":551.34,"body":"knew me in like, March, and you"},{"startTime":551.34,"endTime":555.06,"body":"haven't updated your software,"},{"startTime":551.34,"endTime":555.06,"body":"then you don't know this version"},{"startTime":555.06,"endTime":557.52,"body":"of me that's sitting in front of"},{"startTime":555.06,"endTime":557.52,"body":"you because it's been firmware"},{"startTime":557.52,"endTime":559.98,"body":"update you did not. Okay,"},{"startTime":557.52,"endTime":559.98,"body":"firmware I'm sorry. Y'all know"},{"startTime":559.98,"endTime":562.16,"body":"you. Chris is our tech person."},{"startTime":559.98,"endTime":562.16,"body":"So this is"},{"startTime":564.44,"endTime":569.0,"body":"everything. He is the everyday"},{"startTime":564.44,"endTime":569.0,"body":"person. Minister. He's literally"},{"startTime":569.0,"endTime":572.18,"body":"the everything person. We'll"},{"startTime":569.0,"endTime":572.18,"body":"have to do a bonus episode so I"},{"startTime":572.18,"endTime":575.18,"body":"can tell you all the things that"},{"startTime":572.18,"endTime":575.18,"body":"my husband does, because he"},{"startTime":575.18,"endTime":576.38,"body":"won't tell y'all."},{"startTime":577.46,"endTime":580.16,"body":"Let me tell y'all. It's so"},{"startTime":577.46,"endTime":580.16,"body":"expansive. I literally misheard"},{"startTime":580.16,"endTime":582.28,"body":"Christian on the phone last"},{"startTime":580.16,"endTime":582.28,"body":"night, and thought she said this"},{"startTime":582.28,"endTime":584.74,"body":"man played the flute, because he"},{"startTime":582.28,"endTime":584.74,"body":"doesn't play the flute, but"},{"startTime":584.74,"endTime":586.66,"body":"that's not outside of the realm"},{"startTime":584.74,"endTime":586.66,"body":"of possibility."},{"startTime":588.22,"endTime":592.66,"body":"He does everything, but, but"},{"startTime":588.22,"endTime":592.66,"body":"yeah, and so basically, like I"},{"startTime":592.66,"endTime":596.44,"body":"needed, I needed to walk in the"},{"startTime":592.66,"endTime":596.44,"body":"season of uncertainty, yeah,"},{"startTime":596.5,"endTime":599.92,"body":"because what is here for me?"},{"startTime":596.5,"endTime":599.92,"body":"What has."},{"startTime":600.0,"endTime":604.68,"body":"Been here for me has been life"},{"startTime":600.0,"endTime":604.68,"body":"transforming, um, and just in"},{"startTime":604.68,"endTime":608.7,"body":"how I see myself, how I love"},{"startTime":604.68,"endTime":608.7,"body":"myself, how I show up in love,"},{"startTime":608.76,"endTime":611.76,"body":"in relationship with other"},{"startTime":608.76,"endTime":611.76,"body":"people, how I even see other"},{"startTime":611.76,"endTime":614.46,"body":"people, it has been and like, if"},{"startTime":611.76,"endTime":614.46,"body":"you know me, I was already kind"},{"startTime":614.46,"endTime":616.5,"body":"of, it was looking good on"},{"startTime":614.46,"endTime":616.5,"body":"paper,"},{"startTime":618.42,"endTime":622.16,"body":"but it's man, we done. We done"},{"startTime":618.42,"endTime":622.16,"body":"dug in the deep down and, I"},{"startTime":622.16,"endTime":624.56,"body":"mean, there's always more"},{"startTime":622.16,"endTime":624.56,"body":"digging to do, so who knows"},{"startTime":624.56,"endTime":625.34,"body":"what's coming next,"},{"startTime":627.02,"endTime":631.52,"body":"but, like, it's been wild, and I"},{"startTime":627.02,"endTime":631.52,"body":"wouldn't have experienced it"},{"startTime":631.58,"endTime":639.32,"body":"this way if I hadn't trusted but"},{"startTime":631.58,"endTime":639.32,"body":"that trust, y'all trust, is it?"},{"startTime":639.86,"endTime":645.16,"body":"Yeah, it builds, and it's a slow"},{"startTime":639.86,"endTime":645.16,"body":"process, and it's like, it's"},{"startTime":645.16,"endTime":650.02,"body":"like, God pretty much knows how"},{"startTime":645.16,"endTime":650.02,"body":"each one of us needs to go along"},{"startTime":650.02,"endTime":655.12,"body":"that journey to virtual trust."},{"startTime":650.02,"endTime":655.12,"body":"And so he's just, you know, I'm"},{"startTime":655.12,"endTime":657.88,"body":"trying to use gender neutral"},{"startTime":655.12,"endTime":657.88,"body":"pronouns when it comes to God,"},{"startTime":658.12,"endTime":663.42,"body":"it hasn't always come off, but"},{"startTime":658.12,"endTime":663.42,"body":"they are. They're patient,"},{"startTime":663.54,"endTime":669.12,"body":"they're understanding, and they"},{"startTime":663.54,"endTime":669.12,"body":"go with you at the pace of what"},{"startTime":669.18,"endTime":672.66,"body":"they know you're possible, yeah."},{"startTime":669.18,"endTime":672.66,"body":"And it's like, yeah, we could go"},{"startTime":672.9,"endTime":677.22,"body":"further faster, but you choosing"},{"startTime":672.9,"endTime":677.22,"body":"this track, all right? Well, I"},{"startTime":677.22,"endTime":679.14,"body":"know how to navigate this with"},{"startTime":677.22,"endTime":679.14,"body":"you, yeah."},{"startTime":680.16,"endTime":686.24,"body":"And so, yeah, like, it's even"},{"startTime":680.16,"endTime":686.24,"body":"for me, you know, I had this"},{"startTime":686.24,"endTime":691.7,"body":"thought, these ideas, back in"},{"startTime":686.24,"endTime":691.7,"body":"2017 before the pandemic, of how"},{"startTime":691.7,"endTime":695.36,"body":"I wanted to do faith community,"},{"startTime":691.7,"endTime":695.36,"body":"what I wanted to do church."},{"startTime":696.92,"endTime":701.38,"body":"But I think, similar to you, I"},{"startTime":696.92,"endTime":701.38,"body":"think for for a lot of I was"},{"startTime":701.38,"endTime":703.96,"body":"like, oh, I need to get these"},{"startTime":701.38,"endTime":703.96,"body":"things done. I need to"},{"startTime":705.04,"endTime":708.22,"body":"go down this path. I need to get"},{"startTime":705.04,"endTime":708.22,"body":"legitimacy."},{"startTime":710.02,"endTime":712.48,"body":"You know, I need to be connected"},{"startTime":710.02,"endTime":712.48,"body":"to another church. I don't want"},{"startTime":712.48,"endTime":716.32,"body":"to do nothing. I didn't want to"},{"startTime":712.48,"endTime":716.32,"body":"go to non denominational route"},{"startTime":716.32,"endTime":719.08,"body":"and be unsupported and be"},{"startTime":716.32,"endTime":719.08,"body":"looking like we're just a"},{"startTime":719.08,"endTime":722.1,"body":"Christian doing my whole thing."},{"startTime":719.08,"endTime":722.1,"body":"And it's like all of those"},{"startTime":722.1,"endTime":726.78,"body":"barriers of, again, holding on"},{"startTime":722.1,"endTime":726.78,"body":"to certainty, the established"},{"startTime":726.9,"endTime":728.76,"body":"way of doing things,"},{"startTime":730.08,"endTime":733.56,"body":"you know, that began back then"},{"startTime":730.08,"endTime":733.56,"body":"to strip away"},{"startTime":734.7,"endTime":736.8,"body":"and and then"},{"startTime":738.18,"endTime":740.78,"body":"when I actually went down the"},{"startTime":738.18,"endTime":740.78,"body":"path of"},{"startTime":742.04,"endTime":745.22,"body":"doing the work. And I was like,"},{"startTime":742.04,"endTime":745.22,"body":"Okay, God, all right, I don't"},{"startTime":745.22,"endTime":748.1,"body":"know a lot, but okay, if you"},{"startTime":745.22,"endTime":748.1,"body":"think I'm supposed to do it,"},{"startTime":748.16,"endTime":753.14,"body":"then okay, go down and to find"},{"startTime":748.16,"endTime":753.14,"body":"out going down the path that I"},{"startTime":753.14,"endTime":759.08,"body":"still had shit I needed to"},{"startTime":753.14,"endTime":759.08,"body":"unload, yeah, and in terms of"},{"startTime":759.14,"endTime":764.8,"body":"certainty, and it was not until,"},{"startTime":759.14,"endTime":764.8,"body":"like, last week, that I had"},{"startTime":764.8,"endTime":772.06,"body":"finally, like, closed a door"},{"startTime":764.8,"endTime":772.06,"body":"that was open because of my need"},{"startTime":772.06,"endTime":777.82,"body":"for certainty, yeah, and my need"},{"startTime":772.06,"endTime":777.82,"body":"for okay, you know, you've built"},{"startTime":777.82,"endTime":780.52,"body":"this church and this institution"},{"startTime":777.82,"endTime":780.52,"body":"for a reason. Now you actually I"},{"startTime":780.52,"endTime":785.28,"body":"should try to be a part of it,"},{"startTime":780.52,"endTime":785.28,"body":"and that door closed. Until now"},{"startTime":786.48,"endTime":790.56,"body":"we're on this path, and this"},{"startTime":786.48,"endTime":790.56,"body":"podcast is a part of this path"},{"startTime":791.28,"endTime":796.44,"body":"of going down to see what"},{"startTime":791.28,"endTime":796.44,"body":"happens. Yeah, and pursuing"},{"startTime":796.44,"endTime":801.2,"body":"truth and like what Peter Anne"},{"startTime":796.44,"endTime":801.2,"body":"says in being invited onto the"},{"startTime":801.2,"endTime":803.78,"body":"sacred journey. And"},{"startTime":805.04,"endTime":807.74,"body":"I feel at peace. I feel"},{"startTime":805.04,"endTime":807.74,"body":"resolved. I mean, there's a lot"},{"startTime":807.74,"endTime":811.4,"body":"of shit I don't know. There's"},{"startTime":807.74,"endTime":811.4,"body":"gonna be sometimes I'm a cuss,"},{"startTime":811.52,"endTime":814.58,"body":"yeah, that's just where I am."},{"startTime":816.74,"endTime":820.48,"body":"And there's a lot of stuff I"},{"startTime":816.74,"endTime":820.48,"body":"don't know, and it's not going"},{"startTime":820.48,"endTime":823.78,"body":"to, you know, go the way I think"},{"startTime":820.48,"endTime":823.78,"body":"it's going to go, you know,"},{"startTime":823.78,"endTime":826.06,"body":"especially when you invite more"},{"startTime":823.78,"endTime":826.06,"body":"people into the joint,"},{"startTime":827.86,"endTime":831.46,"body":"you know. But I always keep in"},{"startTime":827.86,"endTime":831.46,"body":"mind that, you know, God, you're"},{"startTime":831.52,"endTime":835.48,"body":"talking to other people. You're"},{"startTime":831.52,"endTime":835.48,"body":"speaking to them as well, and"},{"startTime":835.6,"endTime":840.04,"body":"you love them too. And so it's"},{"startTime":835.6,"endTime":840.04,"body":"going to be a it's"},{"startTime":841.18,"endTime":844.26,"body":"going to be right, it's going to"},{"startTime":841.18,"endTime":844.26,"body":"be a journey, and I'm looking"},{"startTime":844.26,"endTime":849.9,"body":"forward to what comes of it, and"},{"startTime":844.26,"endTime":849.9,"body":"not try to have my thumb on the"},{"startTime":849.9,"endTime":855.18,"body":"pulse and try to control it"},{"startTime":849.9,"endTime":855.18,"body":"because of it doesn't look like"},{"startTime":855.18,"endTime":859.08,"body":"what I think it should, or what"},{"startTime":855.18,"endTime":859.08,"body":"I'm used to it looking like in"},{"startTime":859.08,"endTime":862.04,"body":"the past. Yeah, I think while"},{"startTime":859.08,"endTime":862.04,"body":"you were speaking, the thing"},{"startTime":862.04,"endTime":864.74,"body":"that resonates in both of our"},{"startTime":862.04,"endTime":864.74,"body":"stories is that sense of peace."},{"startTime":865.16,"endTime":868.94,"body":"And for me, the word I use here"},{"startTime":865.16,"endTime":868.94,"body":"is alignment, right? So, like,"},{"startTime":869.12,"endTime":873.38,"body":"even though I have no clue"},{"startTime":869.12,"endTime":873.38,"body":"what's coming, y'all, y'all, and"},{"startTime":873.38,"endTime":876.14,"body":"there's been other moments of"},{"startTime":873.38,"endTime":876.14,"body":"testing in this, I didn't tell"},{"startTime":876.14,"endTime":879.56,"body":"y'all. They about to find out"},{"startTime":876.14,"endTime":879.56,"body":"live on the air, I received a"},{"startTime":879.56,"endTime":882.1,"body":"job offer from a place I turned"},{"startTime":879.56,"endTime":882.1,"body":"it down, did you? I"},{"startTime":884.32,"endTime":888.4,"body":"wrestled with it because I went"},{"startTime":884.32,"endTime":888.4,"body":"back and forth. It was people"},{"startTime":888.4,"endTime":891.16,"body":"that had recruited me, and the"},{"startTime":888.4,"endTime":891.16,"body":"conversation was good things I"},{"startTime":891.16,"endTime":893.92,"body":"can do. And I woke up the day I"},{"startTime":891.16,"endTime":893.92,"body":"was supposed to give them the"},{"startTime":893.92,"endTime":896.68,"body":"answer, and I felt so"},{"startTime":893.92,"endTime":896.68,"body":"unenthused, and I was like, What"},{"startTime":896.68,"endTime":899.32,"body":"is going on? And so I was just"},{"startTime":896.68,"endTime":899.32,"body":"like, I heard it very clear in"},{"startTime":899.32,"endTime":899.92,"body":"my spirit. You?"},{"startTime":900.0,"endTime":902.28,"body":"Can slow down. They said, take"},{"startTime":900.0,"endTime":902.28,"body":"the time you need. This offer"},{"startTime":902.28,"endTime":906.06,"body":"doesn't expire until two weeks"},{"startTime":902.28,"endTime":906.06,"body":"from now, slow down. And so I"},{"startTime":906.06,"endTime":909.3,"body":"did. And I was like, Okay, this"},{"startTime":906.06,"endTime":909.3,"body":"is actually going to be very"},{"startTime":909.3,"endTime":913.14,"body":"similar to walking into walk"},{"startTime":909.3,"endTime":913.14,"body":"what I walked out of, yeah, and"},{"startTime":913.14,"endTime":917.04,"body":"I decided not to, right? And so"},{"startTime":913.14,"endTime":917.04,"body":"you want to talk about the the"},{"startTime":917.04,"endTime":920.46,"body":"shaking response that happened"},{"startTime":917.04,"endTime":920.46,"body":"after. I was like, this is not i"},{"startTime":920.58,"endTime":923.0,"body":"i actually did a big, bold"},{"startTime":920.58,"endTime":923.0,"body":"pitch, and I was like, I think"},{"startTime":923.0,"endTime":925.28,"body":"you could actually benefit me in"},{"startTime":923.0,"endTime":925.28,"body":"other ways. And they were like,"},{"startTime":925.28,"endTime":928.1,"body":"Yeah, we ain't got the budget"},{"startTime":925.28,"endTime":928.1,"body":"for that, but we love you, so"},{"startTime":928.1,"endTime":930.14,"body":"we'll keep you in mind for other"},{"startTime":928.1,"endTime":930.14,"body":"things. Me. Okay, great."},{"startTime":931.28,"endTime":935.84,"body":"But it, it was alignment. It was"},{"startTime":931.28,"endTime":935.84,"body":"the I don't have peace with"},{"startTime":935.84,"endTime":939.2,"body":"this, yes, right? Or I don't"},{"startTime":935.84,"endTime":939.2,"body":"have peace with how this is"},{"startTime":939.2,"endTime":941.44,"body":"going, like there is something"},{"startTime":939.2,"endTime":941.44,"body":"unsettled"},{"startTime":942.76,"endTime":947.32,"body":"that doesn't feel like it's"},{"startTime":942.76,"endTime":947.32,"body":"clicking. And even though the no"},{"startTime":947.32,"endTime":951.88,"body":"is scary, the no clicks, right?"},{"startTime":947.32,"endTime":951.88,"body":"Or the release clicks"},{"startTime":952.9,"endTime":956.26,"body":"it, it went into alignment, and"},{"startTime":952.9,"endTime":956.26,"body":"it was like, oh, so we going"},{"startTime":956.26,"endTime":959.62,"body":"deep up off in this trust thing."},{"startTime":956.26,"endTime":959.62,"body":"Okay, right? And so, and that"},{"startTime":959.62,"endTime":962.82,"body":"reminded me of your story,"},{"startTime":959.62,"endTime":962.82,"body":"Chris, and just thinking about,"},{"startTime":962.82,"endTime":966.3,"body":"like this whole process and like"},{"startTime":962.82,"endTime":966.3,"body":"the things you have been, the"},{"startTime":966.3,"endTime":967.74,"body":"things that we"},{"startTime":969.06,"endTime":973.86,"body":"build like into our identity,"},{"startTime":969.06,"endTime":973.86,"body":"around certainty, or like our"},{"startTime":973.86,"endTime":976.2,"body":"process around it, right? Like"},{"startTime":973.86,"endTime":976.2,"body":"these are the things that need"},{"startTime":976.2,"endTime":978.72,"body":"to be in place, and this will"},{"startTime":976.2,"endTime":978.72,"body":"make meaning for me. Yeah,"},{"startTime":978.78,"endTime":982.76,"body":"right, right. And what does it"},{"startTime":978.78,"endTime":982.76,"body":"look like to shed those things"},{"startTime":983.0,"endTime":986.42,"body":"and then your left ass out"},{"startTime":983.0,"endTime":986.42,"body":"right? It's very much giving"},{"startTime":986.42,"endTime":987.26,"body":"naked mole rat,"},{"startTime":989.54,"endTime":994.16,"body":"you know, but you're still here,"},{"startTime":989.54,"endTime":994.16,"body":"and now you you have the space"},{"startTime":994.34,"endTime":997.58,"body":"because you've released all the"},{"startTime":994.34,"endTime":997.58,"body":"shit you were carrying. Yeah,"},{"startTime":997.58,"endTime":1001.86,"body":"you now have the space for the"},{"startTime":997.58,"endTime":1001.86,"body":"things that are for you to,"},{"startTime":1001.86,"endTime":1004.62,"body":"like, attach. You can hold it,"},{"startTime":1001.86,"endTime":1004.62,"body":"yeah, if I'm, if I'm back lady"},{"startTime":1004.62,"endTime":1006.9,"body":"and in the hand, how am I hold"},{"startTime":1004.62,"endTime":1006.9,"body":"it? Right? You can't, can't"},{"startTime":1006.9,"endTime":1009.24,"body":"receive anything. If your hands"},{"startTime":1006.9,"endTime":1009.24,"body":"already fooling you, clutching"},{"startTime":1009.24,"endTime":1012.24,"body":"onto it for dear life, right?"},{"startTime":1009.24,"endTime":1012.24,"body":"That one of the things, and I"},{"startTime":1012.24,"endTime":1015.12,"body":"have not read this book, so for"},{"startTime":1012.24,"endTime":1015.12,"body":"for reference, if you didn't"},{"startTime":1015.12,"endTime":1017.64,"body":"listen to any of our prequels,"},{"startTime":1015.12,"endTime":1017.64,"body":"where you got to know us"},{"startTime":1017.64,"endTime":1021.02,"body":"individually, I'm the regular."},{"startTime":1017.64,"endTime":1021.02,"body":"Both of these people are very"},{"startTime":1021.02,"endTime":1024.62,"body":"intelligent. I mean, we're all"},{"startTime":1021.02,"endTime":1024.62,"body":"intelligent. Stop that these"},{"startTime":1024.62,"endTime":1027.26,"body":"people have a passion for their"},{"startTime":1024.62,"endTime":1027.26,"body":"learning to the point where they"},{"startTime":1027.26,"endTime":1029.96,"body":"actually wanted more education."},{"startTime":1027.26,"endTime":1029.96,"body":"I am not that person. I"},{"startTime":1029.96,"endTime":1032.54,"body":"understand most of what they say"},{"startTime":1029.96,"endTime":1032.54,"body":"unless they start using words"},{"startTime":1032.54,"endTime":1037.34,"body":"with like 18 syllables. That's"},{"startTime":1032.54,"endTime":1037.34,"body":"mostly my husband, maybe"},{"startTime":1037.34,"endTime":1040.46,"body":"occasionally, but that's mostly"},{"startTime":1037.34,"endTime":1040.46,"body":"Chris. So if you hear something,"},{"startTime":1040.46,"endTime":1044.32,"body":"they sounds like Greek is"},{"startTime":1040.46,"endTime":1044.32,"body":"probably literally Greek. That's"},{"startTime":1044.32,"endTime":1044.56,"body":"true."},{"startTime":1047.14,"endTime":1050.32,"body":"That's an aside. They certainly"},{"startTime":1047.14,"endTime":1050.32,"body":"know the joke. So being Whitney"},{"startTime":1050.32,"endTime":1053.86,"body":"bust out when he says some kind"},{"startTime":1050.32,"endTime":1053.86,"body":"of weird word we want, like 18"},{"startTime":1053.86,"endTime":1057.52,"body":"vows in it. We will ask him to"},{"startTime":1053.86,"endTime":1057.52,"body":"define it for you and us. We"},{"startTime":1057.52,"endTime":1060.54,"body":"won't know, because what are you"},{"startTime":1057.52,"endTime":1060.54,"body":"saying? But yeah, no. Like, you"},{"startTime":1060.54,"endTime":1065.22,"body":"know, the way that I grew up in"},{"startTime":1060.54,"endTime":1065.22,"body":"my faith practice, and honestly,"},{"startTime":1065.46,"endTime":1068.64,"body":"we all, we all grew up in"},{"startTime":1065.46,"endTime":1068.64,"body":"similar faith practices. Whitney"},{"startTime":1068.64,"endTime":1072.24,"body":"and I grew up in church"},{"startTime":1068.64,"endTime":1072.24,"body":"together, so we had, like, it"},{"startTime":1072.24,"endTime":1074.76,"body":"still didn't match, because"},{"startTime":1072.24,"endTime":1074.76,"body":"we're individuals, but we don't"},{"startTime":1074.76,"endTime":1078.06,"body":"get the same under the same"},{"startTime":1074.76,"endTime":1078.06,"body":"teachings. Yeah, we had"},{"startTime":1078.06,"endTime":1080.3,"body":"different takeaways from those"},{"startTime":1078.06,"endTime":1080.3,"body":"teachings. We'll just leave it"},{"startTime":1080.3,"endTime":1083.54,"body":"at that, and y'all will find out"},{"startTime":1080.3,"endTime":1083.54,"body":"what those mean later. But we"},{"startTime":1084.02,"endTime":1085.58,"body":"take away we had,"},{"startTime":1088.76,"endTime":1093.56,"body":"we came to different conclusions"},{"startTime":1088.76,"endTime":1093.56,"body":"a lot of the time. Fair, fair. I"},{"startTime":1093.56,"endTime":1097.82,"body":"was, I have always been and"},{"startTime":1093.56,"endTime":1097.82,"body":"working on the fact that I am"},{"startTime":1097.82,"endTime":1100.66,"body":"very much alike. That's what you"},{"startTime":1097.82,"endTime":1100.66,"body":"said. Okay, and Whitney's like,"},{"startTime":1100.66,"endTime":1104.26,"body":"wait what? Make it. Man, yes,"},{"startTime":1100.66,"endTime":1104.26,"body":"Whitney, want you to make it. I"},{"startTime":1104.26,"endTime":1107.26,"body":"need more information. So it"},{"startTime":1104.26,"endTime":1107.26,"body":"took me a while for to get to"},{"startTime":1107.26,"endTime":1110.32,"body":"the point where I needed what I"},{"startTime":1107.26,"endTime":1110.32,"body":"was like, asking more of those"},{"startTime":1110.32,"endTime":1114.88,"body":"questions. And so for me, like,"},{"startTime":1110.32,"endTime":1114.88,"body":"the journey of faith that I've"},{"startTime":1114.88,"endTime":1116.62,"body":"been on has been a very like"},{"startTime":1118.42,"endTime":1122.64,"body":"roller coaster kind of"},{"startTime":1118.42,"endTime":1122.64,"body":"situation, and so I clung to a"},{"startTime":1122.64,"endTime":1125.64,"body":"lot of those ideas, much like he"},{"startTime":1122.64,"endTime":1125.64,"body":"mentioned in that book that he"},{"startTime":1125.64,"endTime":1128.76,"body":"that he read from earlier. I"},{"startTime":1125.64,"endTime":1128.76,"body":"clung to a lot of those ideas"},{"startTime":1128.76,"endTime":1132.66,"body":"because, like, anything that"},{"startTime":1128.76,"endTime":1132.66,"body":"didn't fit the narrative that I"},{"startTime":1132.66,"endTime":1134.28,"body":"had been taught felt like an"},{"startTime":1132.66,"endTime":1134.28,"body":"attack,"},{"startTime":1136.74,"endTime":1140.12,"body":"you know, whatever I believed,"},{"startTime":1136.74,"endTime":1140.12,"body":"and I didn't think about it at"},{"startTime":1140.12,"endTime":1143.78,"body":"the time, but it was like, Oh,"},{"startTime":1140.12,"endTime":1143.78,"body":"why are you so angry? Why are"},{"startTime":1143.78,"endTime":1147.62,"body":"you so aggressive with people"},{"startTime":1143.78,"endTime":1147.62,"body":"who disagree with you? And I"},{"startTime":1147.62,"endTime":1153.14,"body":"think that that energy, right"},{"startTime":1147.62,"endTime":1153.14,"body":"it, it kept me in a position"},{"startTime":1153.14,"endTime":1158.54,"body":"where I was not growing, and I"},{"startTime":1153.14,"endTime":1158.54,"body":"didn't realize that the thing"},{"startTime":1158.54,"endTime":1161.68,"body":"that was keeping me from growing"},{"startTime":1158.54,"endTime":1161.68,"body":"was me, yeah, right. Like, and I"},{"startTime":1161.68,"endTime":1164.8,"body":"think this happens to a lot of"},{"startTime":1161.68,"endTime":1164.8,"body":"people who are like, in"},{"startTime":1165.04,"endTime":1168.76,"body":"evangelical spaces, is the idea"},{"startTime":1165.04,"endTime":1168.76,"body":"that, like, Oh, I'm not growing"},{"startTime":1168.76,"endTime":1171.28,"body":"at this church, I'm not growing"},{"startTime":1168.76,"endTime":1171.28,"body":"with this pastor, I'm not"},{"startTime":1171.28,"endTime":1174.82,"body":"growing in this class, right?"},{"startTime":1171.28,"endTime":1174.82,"body":"And it's like, yeah, but they"},{"startTime":1174.82,"endTime":1177.7,"body":"are not the ones impeding"},{"startTime":1174.82,"endTime":1177.7,"body":"growth. You are, yeah, it's hard"},{"startTime":1177.7,"endTime":1179.86,"body":"to see that come through."},{"startTime":1181.66,"endTime":1184.98,"body":"And so, like, for both of y'all,"},{"startTime":1181.66,"endTime":1184.98,"body":"like, it's like, I had to decide"},{"startTime":1184.98,"endTime":1188.28,"body":"to release the job. I had to"},{"startTime":1184.98,"endTime":1188.28,"body":"decide to release the pre"},{"startTime":1188.28,"endTime":1190.98,"body":"planned program. I had to"},{"startTime":1188.28,"endTime":1190.98,"body":"myself, I had to decide to"},{"startTime":1190.98,"endTime":1194.22,"body":"release a lot of the theology"},{"startTime":1190.98,"endTime":1194.22,"body":"that I clung to, like it was a"},{"startTime":1194.22,"endTime":1198.24,"body":"life raft, realized like, and at"},{"startTime":1194.22,"endTime":1198.24,"body":"that point, then you can"},{"startTime":1198.24,"endTime":1199.92,"body":"actually start to grow. You get"},{"startTime":1198.24,"endTime":1199.92,"body":"to."},{"startTime":1200.0,"endTime":1202.76,"body":"Move forward, you get to"},{"startTime":1200.0,"endTime":1202.76,"body":"experience what was there all"},{"startTime":1202.76,"endTime":1207.26,"body":"along, kind of waiting for you."},{"startTime":1202.76,"endTime":1207.26,"body":"But that fear, that desire to"},{"startTime":1207.26,"endTime":1210.32,"body":"control everything. Oh Lord, I'm"},{"startTime":1207.26,"endTime":1210.32,"body":"going back to therapy for that"},{"startTime":1210.32,"endTime":1216.02,"body":"one y'all, but that desire to"},{"startTime":1210.32,"endTime":1216.02,"body":"control everything, including"},{"startTime":1216.02,"endTime":1216.56,"body":"you."},{"startTime":1217.76,"endTime":1220.78,"body":"But like you can barely control"},{"startTime":1217.76,"endTime":1220.78,"body":"you, you show can't control"},{"startTime":1220.78,"endTime":1224.62,"body":"nobody else. Oh, man, that's"},{"startTime":1220.78,"endTime":1224.62,"body":"really the one that all of that"},{"startTime":1224.62,"endTime":1228.88,"body":"stuff. It really like it, I"},{"startTime":1224.62,"endTime":1228.88,"body":"think, like when, when Chris"},{"startTime":1228.88,"endTime":1231.28,"body":"first pitched this episode, and"},{"startTime":1228.88,"endTime":1231.28,"body":"he was like, the sin of certain."},{"startTime":1231.28,"endTime":1233.68,"body":"He was like, Oh, me, and this"},{"startTime":1231.28,"endTime":1233.68,"body":"word sin, we got beef. However,"},{"startTime":1233.86,"endTime":1237.16,"body":"like, if you think about sin as"},{"startTime":1233.86,"endTime":1237.16,"body":"like a thing that is separating"},{"startTime":1237.64,"endTime":1240.96,"body":"the desire to have certainty and"},{"startTime":1237.64,"endTime":1240.96,"body":"to be in control of everything."},{"startTime":1241.02,"endTime":1244.5,"body":"It separates you from a ton. And"},{"startTime":1241.02,"endTime":1244.5,"body":"one of those things is the"},{"startTime":1244.5,"endTime":1247.8,"body":"experience of what happens when"},{"startTime":1244.5,"endTime":1247.8,"body":"you just let stuff happen, like"},{"startTime":1247.8,"endTime":1253.08,"body":"when you let it go, when you tap"},{"startTime":1247.8,"endTime":1253.08,"body":"into like, that spirit, like"},{"startTime":1253.08,"endTime":1255.84,"body":"when you're looking for peace."},{"startTime":1253.08,"endTime":1255.84,"body":"Instead of, it's like, do I feel"},{"startTime":1255.84,"endTime":1258.6,"body":"peace about it? Instead of, does"},{"startTime":1255.84,"endTime":1258.6,"body":"this look like the right thing"},{"startTime":1258.6,"endTime":1261.02,"body":"that everybody else does is this"},{"startTime":1258.6,"endTime":1261.02,"body":"following the path that"},{"startTime":1261.02,"endTime":1264.92,"body":"everybody else followed. But do"},{"startTime":1261.02,"endTime":1264.92,"body":"I feel peace about this for me"},{"startTime":1264.98,"endTime":1267.62,"body":"right now? And if the answer is"},{"startTime":1264.98,"endTime":1267.62,"body":"no, then you don't do it, then"},{"startTime":1267.62,"endTime":1271.4,"body":"the answer is no, and it's a"},{"startTime":1267.62,"endTime":1271.4,"body":"hard No, hard No, final No,"},{"startTime":1271.64,"endTime":1275.72,"body":"like, yeah, and don't fight it,"},{"startTime":1271.64,"endTime":1275.72,"body":"because, you know, just to try"},{"startTime":1275.72,"endTime":1278.72,"body":"to make yourself fit in a box,"},{"startTime":1275.72,"endTime":1278.72,"body":"you are not a box. You are a"},{"startTime":1278.72,"endTime":1282.04,"body":"very oddly shaped thing,"},{"startTime":1278.72,"endTime":1282.04,"body":"physically and spiritually,"},{"startTime":1282.22,"endTime":1286.42,"body":"right? Don't try to put yourself"},{"startTime":1282.22,"endTime":1286.42,"body":"in the back. Yeah. So funny to"},{"startTime":1286.42,"endTime":1291.04,"body":"mention it because I had a dream"},{"startTime":1286.42,"endTime":1291.04,"body":"this, and I very rarely remember"},{"startTime":1291.04,"endTime":1296.8,"body":"my dreams, but I had a dream on"},{"startTime":1291.04,"endTime":1296.8,"body":"Sunday or Saturday night, on"},{"startTime":1296.8,"endTime":1299.38,"body":"Sunday, and I woke up that"},{"startTime":1296.8,"endTime":1299.38,"body":"Sunday morning. Not gonna go"},{"startTime":1299.38,"endTime":1302.28,"body":"into the details dream, because"},{"startTime":1299.38,"endTime":1302.28,"body":"it's weird and wonky, but"},{"startTime":1302.76,"endTime":1306.96,"body":"normally are. But how I came out"},{"startTime":1302.76,"endTime":1306.96,"body":"supposed to be the fucking"},{"startTime":1306.96,"endTime":1307.56,"body":"music."},{"startTime":1315.3,"endTime":1320.72,"body":"But I went through it, and one"},{"startTime":1315.3,"endTime":1320.72,"body":"thing that it seemed to come"},{"startTime":1320.72,"endTime":1324.2,"body":"through for me, when I started"},{"startTime":1320.72,"endTime":1324.2,"body":"processing the dream is that"},{"startTime":1324.2,"endTime":1326.96,"body":"divorce came and said, All power"},{"startTime":1324.2,"endTime":1326.96,"body":"is my power."},{"startTime":1328.22,"endTime":1329.0,"body":"And"},{"startTime":1330.5,"endTime":1331.58,"body":"for me,"},{"startTime":1333.44,"endTime":1336.56,"body":"when he said that all power is"},{"startTime":1333.44,"endTime":1336.56,"body":"my power, and I was just like,"},{"startTime":1337.28,"endTime":1342.22,"body":"it's like, so you really don't"},{"startTime":1337.28,"endTime":1342.22,"body":"need to walk in fear when"},{"startTime":1342.22,"endTime":1345.7,"body":"somebody is exhibiting power"},{"startTime":1342.22,"endTime":1345.7,"body":"against you, because that's"},{"startTime":1345.7,"endTime":1352.84,"body":"yours too, period. And if I"},{"startTime":1345.7,"endTime":1352.84,"body":"align my and if I align myself"},{"startTime":1352.84,"endTime":1358.72,"body":"with you, whatever's coming my"},{"startTime":1352.84,"endTime":1358.72,"body":"way, Psalm 91 talks about that"},{"startTime":1358.72,"endTime":1362.46,"body":"10,000 followed your side and"},{"startTime":1358.72,"endTime":1362.46,"body":"1000 side, but it won't come"},{"startTime":1362.46,"endTime":1363.18,"body":"near you."},{"startTime":1364.2,"endTime":1370.8,"body":"And it is this idea that that"},{"startTime":1364.2,"endTime":1370.8,"body":"certainty, when you are things"},{"startTime":1370.8,"endTime":1373.32,"body":"have been stripped away from"},{"startTime":1370.8,"endTime":1373.32,"body":"you. It puts you out of"},{"startTime":1373.32,"endTime":1377.4,"body":"alignment, because you're not"},{"startTime":1373.32,"endTime":1377.4,"body":"moving where God is moving. And"},{"startTime":1377.4,"endTime":1380.12,"body":"so when there's an when there's"},{"startTime":1377.4,"endTime":1380.12,"body":"powers coming against you,"},{"startTime":1381.32,"endTime":1384.44,"body":"you become a victim of that,"},{"startTime":1381.32,"endTime":1384.44,"body":"because you're not moving with"},{"startTime":1384.44,"endTime":1386.72,"body":"the principle of life, yeah?"},{"startTime":1384.44,"endTime":1386.72,"body":"Stepping into that is that"},{"startTime":1386.72,"endTime":1389.9,"body":"change as a constant. That's"},{"startTime":1386.72,"endTime":1389.9,"body":"right. Oh, that's good. Chris,"},{"startTime":1389.9,"endTime":1394.64,"body":"so Tokyo was smart, yeah, my"},{"startTime":1389.9,"endTime":1394.64,"body":"face was over here, fighting the"},{"startTime":1394.64,"endTime":1395.0,"body":"whole time,"},{"startTime":1396.02,"endTime":1398.9,"body":"screech, maybe one day, you"},{"startTime":1396.02,"endTime":1398.9,"body":"don't care what. So y'all can"},{"startTime":1398.9,"endTime":1400.94,"body":"see some of the faces she'd be"},{"startTime":1398.9,"endTime":1400.94,"body":"making, but there, I'm"},{"startTime":1402.74,"endTime":1406.96,"body":"sorry. No, and that's really it,"},{"startTime":1402.74,"endTime":1406.96,"body":"like, No. Say more if you go,"},{"startTime":1406.96,"endTime":1411.46,"body":"No, I'm gonna breathe. Oh, yeah,"},{"startTime":1406.96,"endTime":1411.46,"body":"that was so you can go, I need"},{"startTime":1411.46,"endTime":1417.4,"body":"to breathe. I like, can we just"},{"startTime":1411.46,"endTime":1417.4,"body":"call into the room? That control"},{"startTime":1417.4,"endTime":1418.12,"body":"is an illusion."},{"startTime":1419.38,"endTime":1423.0,"body":"It is, but it is such an"},{"startTime":1419.38,"endTime":1423.0,"body":"enticing one. Oh, absolutely."},{"startTime":1423.12,"endTime":1425.1,"body":"Oh, my god. It's so like,"},{"startTime":1426.18,"endTime":1429.42,"body":"the fact that it's not real"},{"startTime":1426.18,"endTime":1429.42,"body":"doesn't make you not want it."},{"startTime":1429.84,"endTime":1435.0,"body":"That's real, right? You know, it"},{"startTime":1429.84,"endTime":1435.0,"body":"definitely intoxicating. It's"},{"startTime":1435.0,"endTime":1437.88,"body":"very enticing. It's how people"},{"startTime":1435.0,"endTime":1437.88,"body":"build narratives that build"},{"startTime":1437.88,"endTime":1438.84,"body":"nations. That's it."},{"startTime":1440.04,"endTime":1442.94,"body":"It's how people that build"},{"startTime":1440.04,"endTime":1442.94,"body":"narratives, that build entire"},{"startTime":1442.94,"endTime":1445.22,"body":"lives and worlds on one idea,"},{"startTime":1446.24,"endTime":1448.46,"body":"some people go out for the"},{"startTime":1446.24,"endTime":1448.46,"body":"sunset and die and they sleep"},{"startTime":1448.46,"endTime":1449.96,"body":"with it, and then other people"},{"startTime":1451.76,"endTime":1455.6,"body":"that shit comes, coming calming"},{"startTime":1451.76,"endTime":1455.6,"body":"down midlife, and that's why"},{"startTime":1455.6,"endTime":1458.12,"body":"that's when you have midlife"},{"startTime":1455.6,"endTime":1458.12,"body":"crisis. That's where I'm at."},{"startTime":1459.86,"endTime":1462.88,"body":"Because the story of crisis, oh,"},{"startTime":1464.8,"endTime":1469.12,"body":"my God, it's crazy that we're in"},{"startTime":1464.8,"endTime":1469.12,"body":"midlife. We're like in our 30s,"},{"startTime":1469.24,"endTime":1470.86,"body":"late 30s, we're all in our"},{"startTime":1472.6,"endTime":1476.92,"body":"late 30s. I'm the oldest by"},{"startTime":1472.6,"endTime":1476.92,"body":"what, one year a year,"},{"startTime":1478.06,"endTime":1481.8,"body":"11 months of change. No, I am"},{"startTime":1478.06,"endTime":1481.8,"body":"older than you Christian by"},{"startTime":1481.8,"endTime":1483.12,"body":"like, a year and two weeks."},{"startTime":1485.28,"endTime":1488.46,"body":"I am Wow. You. It's crazy how"},{"startTime":1485.28,"endTime":1488.46,"body":"you just told these people my"},{"startTime":1488.46,"endTime":1489.12,"body":"business."},{"startTime":1493.26,"endTime":1497.04,"body":"Y'all can leave it in, I guess."},{"startTime":1493.26,"endTime":1497.04,"body":"But that was Tia. I said, my"},{"startTime":1497.04,"endTime":1499.92,"body":"year. So, oh, nobody, right. I."},{"startTime":1500.0,"endTime":1500.3,"body":"87"},{"startTime":1502.88,"endTime":1507.2,"body":"period you are, no, I think,"},{"startTime":1502.88,"endTime":1507.2,"body":"like it is an enticing thing."},{"startTime":1507.2,"endTime":1509.78,"body":"But one of the things, and we've"},{"startTime":1507.2,"endTime":1509.78,"body":"talked about this before, one of"},{"startTime":1509.78,"endTime":1513.2,"body":"the things that I think people"},{"startTime":1509.78,"endTime":1513.2,"body":"find so enticing is that the"},{"startTime":1513.2,"endTime":1516.38,"body":"illusion that you can control,"},{"startTime":1513.2,"endTime":1516.38,"body":"like external things to"},{"startTime":1516.38,"endTime":1519.38,"body":"yourself, like the only thing"},{"startTime":1516.38,"endTime":1519.38,"body":"you actually have control over"},{"startTime":1519.44,"endTime":1524.32,"body":"is you, right, the the"},{"startTime":1519.44,"endTime":1524.32,"body":"narratives you create, the"},{"startTime":1524.32,"endTime":1528.82,"body":"responses that you have to"},{"startTime":1524.32,"endTime":1528.82,"body":"situation, to stimuli, but like"},{"startTime":1528.88,"endTime":1533.32,"body":"you cannot control what other"},{"startTime":1528.88,"endTime":1533.32,"body":"person says, Does, thinks, any"},{"startTime":1533.32,"endTime":1536.14,"body":"of that, how they show up, where"},{"startTime":1533.32,"endTime":1536.14,"body":"they show up, if they show up,"},{"startTime":1536.32,"endTime":1540.72,"body":"if the stars will align and give"},{"startTime":1536.32,"endTime":1540.72,"body":"you your highest wish. You"},{"startTime":1540.72,"endTime":1545.28,"body":"cannot control, that what you"},{"startTime":1540.72,"endTime":1545.28,"body":"can control is you. And so"},{"startTime":1545.28,"endTime":1548.1,"body":"oftentimes, so I'm assuming"},{"startTime":1545.28,"endTime":1548.1,"body":"we're gonna say this in the"},{"startTime":1548.1,"endTime":1552.66,"body":"intro, but I'm a therapist, so"},{"startTime":1548.1,"endTime":1552.66,"body":"oftentimes I have clients that I"},{"startTime":1552.66,"endTime":1557.7,"body":"will and I have self I just"},{"startTime":1552.66,"endTime":1557.7,"body":"won't be clear that, like we're"},{"startTime":1557.7,"endTime":1559.92,"body":"coming in, we're having these"},{"startTime":1557.7,"endTime":1559.92,"body":"conversations, and it's like,"},{"startTime":1559.92,"endTime":1562.82,"body":"oh, but I'm responding like this"},{"startTime":1559.92,"endTime":1562.82,"body":"because this person, because"},{"startTime":1562.82,"endTime":1565.46,"body":"this person, no, no, you're"},{"startTime":1562.82,"endTime":1565.46,"body":"responding like this because"},{"startTime":1565.46,"endTime":1567.62,"body":"you're trying to control them,"},{"startTime":1565.46,"endTime":1567.62,"body":"because if they don't have that"},{"startTime":1567.62,"endTime":1572.18,"body":"behavior, then now you don't"},{"startTime":1567.62,"endTime":1572.18,"body":"have that response. But if your"},{"startTime":1572.18,"endTime":1576.2,"body":"regulation of any kind is"},{"startTime":1572.18,"endTime":1576.2,"body":"contingent upon how someone else"},{"startTime":1576.2,"endTime":1580.36,"body":"behaves, you are codependent."},{"startTime":1576.2,"endTime":1580.36,"body":"Love will tell you. That's how"},{"startTime":1580.36,"endTime":1583.72,"body":"road rage starts. Road rage,"},{"startTime":1580.36,"endTime":1583.72,"body":"yeah, this is how it this is"},{"startTime":1583.72,"endTime":1587.62,"body":"raising a child that is raising"},{"startTime":1583.72,"endTime":1587.62,"body":"a child that's co regulation. So"},{"startTime":1587.62,"endTime":1590.08,"body":"we have a toddler, Chris and I,"},{"startTime":1591.22,"endTime":1597.34,"body":"and oh, my God. There are so"},{"startTime":1591.22,"endTime":1597.34,"body":"many times where they're doing"},{"startTime":1597.34,"endTime":1603.54,"body":"something and, you know, I have"},{"startTime":1597.34,"endTime":1603.54,"body":"a response, and they'll ask me,"},{"startTime":1603.54,"endTime":1607.62,"body":"why did you do that? And in my"},{"startTime":1603.54,"endTime":1607.62,"body":"response, I will say, because"},{"startTime":1607.62,"endTime":1611.52,"body":"you did such and such. And my"},{"startTime":1607.62,"endTime":1611.52,"body":"brain goes, No, you chose to act"},{"startTime":1611.52,"endTime":1615.84,"body":"like that. Yeah, you that was,"},{"startTime":1611.52,"endTime":1615.84,"body":"that was a response. You chose"},{"startTime":1615.84,"endTime":1621.38,"body":"your your response is not their"},{"startTime":1615.84,"endTime":1621.38,"body":"fault. And I try to catch myself"},{"startTime":1621.44,"endTime":1624.44,"body":"before I say that, because I"},{"startTime":1621.44,"endTime":1624.44,"body":"don't want that in their head."},{"startTime":1624.44,"endTime":1629.0,"body":"That's right. This is, this is"},{"startTime":1624.44,"endTime":1629.0,"body":"my I made mommy mad. No, mommy"},{"startTime":1629.0,"endTime":1632.24,"body":"got mad. Mommy was already"},{"startTime":1629.0,"endTime":1632.24,"body":"frustrated. Mommy was on 10, and"},{"startTime":1632.24,"endTime":1635.48,"body":"that's why Mommy's going back to"},{"startTime":1632.24,"endTime":1635.48,"body":"therapy. Mommy was on 10."},{"startTime":1635.84,"endTime":1641.2,"body":"Period, you were being a"},{"startTime":1635.84,"endTime":1641.2,"body":"toddler, right? That's it? No,"},{"startTime":1641.2,"endTime":1645.94,"body":"that's real. And I think owning"},{"startTime":1641.2,"endTime":1645.94,"body":"that, right? It's important,"},{"startTime":1645.94,"endTime":1648.16,"body":"like, think about it. Y'all we"},{"startTime":1645.94,"endTime":1648.16,"body":"grew up in 80s, right? When we"},{"startTime":1648.16,"endTime":1652.3,"body":"were born in 80s, kids of the"},{"startTime":1648.16,"endTime":1652.3,"body":"90s, yeah? But it's like, Yo,"},{"startTime":1652.36,"endTime":1655.66,"body":"y'all know the parent generation"},{"startTime":1652.36,"endTime":1655.66,"body":"we had. Our parents are boomers,"},{"startTime":1657.82,"endTime":1660.84,"body":"seen and not heard my parents,"},{"startTime":1657.82,"endTime":1660.84,"body":"my parent was a boomer, yeah?"},{"startTime":1660.84,"endTime":1664.44,"body":"Well, no, I could be seen and"},{"startTime":1660.84,"endTime":1664.44,"body":"heard, however, but like, it was"},{"startTime":1664.44,"endTime":1667.44,"body":"very cause and effect in the"},{"startTime":1664.44,"endTime":1667.44,"body":"house, right? Always, right."},{"startTime":1667.44,"endTime":1670.62,"body":"It's just like, and I now,"},{"startTime":1667.44,"endTime":1670.62,"body":"people say I grew there are some"},{"startTime":1670.62,"endTime":1673.14,"body":"ways in which I had a liberal"},{"startTime":1670.62,"endTime":1673.14,"body":"childhood, because I got to ask"},{"startTime":1673.14,"endTime":1676.08,"body":"questions and make my preference"},{"startTime":1673.14,"endTime":1676.08,"body":"known, and got to negotiate"},{"startTime":1676.08,"endTime":1679.44,"body":"questions. Um, I don't, but I it"},{"startTime":1676.08,"endTime":1679.44,"body":"never occurred to me to"},{"startTime":1679.44,"endTime":1682.04,"body":"negotiate. But that's just the"},{"startTime":1679.44,"endTime":1682.04,"body":"personality thing. Keep going."},{"startTime":1683.6,"endTime":1686.24,"body":"That's fair. No, it's also a"},{"startTime":1683.6,"endTime":1686.24,"body":"personality thing that I'm gonna"},{"startTime":1686.24,"endTime":1692.54,"body":"negotiate. But like, even still,"},{"startTime":1686.24,"endTime":1692.54,"body":"it is, like, a if you wouldn't"},{"startTime":1692.54,"endTime":1695.06,"body":"act this way, you wouldn't get"},{"startTime":1692.54,"endTime":1695.06,"body":"you, you wouldn't get your ass"},{"startTime":1695.06,"endTime":1699.02,"body":"beat. Just act right, right,"},{"startTime":1695.06,"endTime":1699.02,"body":"like you wouldn't get this go to"},{"startTime":1699.02,"endTime":1701.2,"body":"school, to my I mean, I was a"},{"startTime":1699.02,"endTime":1701.2,"body":"great kid. I was a great"},{"startTime":1701.2,"endTime":1703.66,"body":"student, but so it wasn't school"},{"startTime":1701.2,"endTime":1703.66,"body":"issues. Like, you stopped"},{"startTime":1703.66,"endTime":1707.44,"body":"talking back. We wouldn't have"},{"startTime":1703.66,"endTime":1707.44,"body":"to do this. It was very much"},{"startTime":1707.44,"endTime":1710.32,"body":"just projected. And like, if we"},{"startTime":1707.44,"endTime":1710.32,"body":"could all Millennials take a"},{"startTime":1710.32,"endTime":1713.98,"body":"moment, and probably some of"},{"startTime":1710.32,"endTime":1713.98,"body":"y'all exes, uh, Gen X's to,"},{"startTime":1714.94,"endTime":1718.06,"body":"like, take this moment and say,"},{"startTime":1714.94,"endTime":1718.06,"body":"like, Yo,"},{"startTime":1719.26,"endTime":1722.16,"body":"a little moment for healing."},{"startTime":1719.26,"endTime":1722.16,"body":"They response was never your"},{"startTime":1722.58,"endTime":1726.66,"body":"fault. Their response was the"},{"startTime":1722.58,"endTime":1726.66,"body":"same way I am saying to you now"},{"startTime":1726.72,"endTime":1727.14,"body":"that"},{"startTime":1728.28,"endTime":1732.96,"body":"anyone else your response is not"},{"startTime":1728.28,"endTime":1732.96,"body":"their fault. Those people's"},{"startTime":1732.96,"endTime":1737.4,"body":"responses were not your fault."},{"startTime":1732.96,"endTime":1737.4,"body":"And so, like, we have this onus"},{"startTime":1737.4,"endTime":1741.2,"body":"to, like, right, own our own"},{"startTime":1737.4,"endTime":1741.2,"body":"experience."},{"startTime":1743.72,"endTime":1747.98,"body":"Right? And I was going to even"},{"startTime":1743.72,"endTime":1747.98,"body":"think about Sonya Massey in that"},{"startTime":1747.98,"endTime":1752.18,"body":"situation, where can we just"},{"startTime":1747.98,"endTime":1752.18,"body":"take a breath? Let's let's see."},{"startTime":1752.36,"endTime":1755.48,"body":"Let's say her name. Silence for"},{"startTime":1752.36,"endTime":1755.48,"body":"Sonya Massey."},{"startTime":1757.58,"endTime":1759.8,"body":"I'm so weary. Geez, so weary."},{"startTime":1761.36,"endTime":1767.14,"body":"But the idea that you could be"},{"startTime":1761.36,"endTime":1767.14,"body":"threatened by a pot of boiling"},{"startTime":1767.14,"endTime":1770.8,"body":"water to the extreme when you"},{"startTime":1767.14,"endTime":1770.8,"body":"have a gun, to the extent that"},{"startTime":1770.8,"endTime":1774.34,"body":"you feel like you need to shoot"},{"startTime":1770.8,"endTime":1774.34,"body":"to kill somebody, at the very"},{"startTime":1774.34,"endTime":1780.04,"body":"least, Al Green survived ball"},{"startTime":1774.34,"endTime":1780.04,"body":"and stuff, you read my mind,"},{"startTime":1782.02,"endTime":1787.98,"body":"which so like, like, you are"},{"startTime":1782.02,"endTime":1787.98,"body":"okay, yeah, if ball and water"},{"startTime":1787.98,"endTime":1792.0,"body":"gets on it did not warrant you"},{"startTime":1787.98,"endTime":1792.0,"body":"feel like you need to shoot"},{"startTime":1792.0,"endTime":1794.4,"body":"somebody to death, to death, to"},{"startTime":1792.0,"endTime":1794.4,"body":"death. And"},{"startTime":1795.84,"endTime":1798.6,"body":"this is what I'm talking about,"},{"startTime":1795.84,"endTime":1798.6,"body":"in terms of regulating your your"},{"startTime":1798.6,"endTime":1799.92,"body":"emotions and."},{"startTime":1800.0,"endTime":1805.1,"body":"And and don't get me wrong, I"},{"startTime":1800.0,"endTime":1805.1,"body":"appreciate what this police"},{"startTime":1805.1,"endTime":1808.64,"body":"people have to do, or any first"},{"startTime":1805.1,"endTime":1808.64,"body":"responder, multiple responder,"},{"startTime":1808.94,"endTime":1813.56,"body":"but if fear rules your"},{"startTime":1808.94,"endTime":1813.56,"body":"disposition in this job, you"},{"startTime":1813.56,"endTime":1816.14,"body":"don't need to be in that"},{"startTime":1813.56,"endTime":1816.14,"body":"position. Word that's it."},{"startTime":1816.14,"endTime":1818.96,"body":"Because, part of the reason why"},{"startTime":1816.14,"endTime":1818.96,"body":"you have the gun and why you"},{"startTime":1818.96,"endTime":1821.62,"body":"have the badge or why you have"},{"startTime":1818.96,"endTime":1821.62,"body":"to fire holes or whatever. It's"},{"startTime":1821.62,"endTime":1825.28,"body":"because you have been trained."},{"startTime":1821.62,"endTime":1825.28,"body":"We expect you to have been"},{"startTime":1825.28,"endTime":1831.34,"body":"trained to regulate and de"},{"startTime":1825.28,"endTime":1831.34,"body":"escalate situations when people"},{"startTime":1831.64,"endTime":1835.12,"body":"are themselves, are out of"},{"startTime":1831.64,"endTime":1835.12,"body":"control. You need to be the"},{"startTime":1835.12,"endTime":1839.74,"body":"adult in a row. Yeah, and so."},{"startTime":1835.12,"endTime":1839.74,"body":"But I mean, I'm thinking about"},{"startTime":1839.74,"endTime":1842.82,"body":"that even with my toddler like"},{"startTime":1839.74,"endTime":1842.82,"body":"that to that point, yeah, we"},{"startTime":1842.82,"endTime":1845.88,"body":"don't get taught that. Like,"},{"startTime":1842.82,"endTime":1845.88,"body":"that's a, that's a, I'm using my"},{"startTime":1845.88,"endTime":1849.78,"body":"air quotes. That's a new thing."},{"startTime":1845.88,"endTime":1849.78,"body":"It's like, oh, gentle parenting."},{"startTime":1849.78,"endTime":1852.42,"body":"And, you know, responsive"},{"startTime":1849.78,"endTime":1852.42,"body":"parenting and all this. There's"},{"startTime":1852.42,"endTime":1855.48,"body":"other there's other bird words"},{"startTime":1852.42,"endTime":1855.48,"body":"for it. I think the simplest way"},{"startTime":1855.48,"endTime":1859.98,"body":"to say it is, I try to treat my"},{"startTime":1855.48,"endTime":1859.98,"body":"toddler like I treat other human"},{"startTime":1859.98,"endTime":1864.86,"body":"beings hard, stop. Yeah, and for"},{"startTime":1859.98,"endTime":1864.86,"body":"some reason, I don't know why it"},{"startTime":1864.86,"endTime":1870.14,"body":"happened, but we try to, we're"},{"startTime":1864.86,"endTime":1870.14,"body":"trying to adjust our, our our"},{"startTime":1870.14,"endTime":1872.6,"body":"awareness of how we interact"},{"startTime":1870.14,"endTime":1872.6,"body":"with our toddler."},{"startTime":1873.8,"endTime":1881.08,"body":"They are a person, period. I"},{"startTime":1873.8,"endTime":1881.08,"body":"would not treat any other person"},{"startTime":1881.08,"endTime":1885.22,"body":"like that, I try to, like,"},{"startTime":1881.08,"endTime":1885.22,"body":"ascertain, I'm not saying that"},{"startTime":1885.22,"endTime":1887.92,"body":"there are times that I make them"},{"startTime":1885.22,"endTime":1887.92,"body":"do things they don't want to do."},{"startTime":1887.92,"endTime":1890.2,"body":"Of course they do. You don't"},{"startTime":1887.92,"endTime":1890.2,"body":"want to brush your teeth. That's"},{"startTime":1890.2,"endTime":1893.5,"body":"too bad. That's the thing we"},{"startTime":1890.2,"endTime":1893.5,"body":"need to do. But instead of me"},{"startTime":1893.5,"endTime":1896.32,"body":"like, shoving a toothbrush in"},{"startTime":1893.5,"endTime":1896.32,"body":"their mouth while they gag,"},{"startTime":1896.38,"endTime":1899.98,"body":"because that's, that's that's"},{"startTime":1896.38,"endTime":1899.98,"body":"not a good that's violent. That"},{"startTime":1899.98,"endTime":1902.7,"body":"sounds like a thing that's going"},{"startTime":1899.98,"endTime":1902.7,"body":"to put you in therapy Yeah, it's"},{"startTime":1903.06,"endTime":1905.52,"body":"throwing up in my seat. Or have"},{"startTime":1903.06,"endTime":1905.52,"body":"you with dental issues because"},{"startTime":1905.52,"endTime":1907.8,"body":"you don't want to brush your own"},{"startTime":1905.52,"endTime":1907.8,"body":"teeth because now you got tooth"},{"startTime":1907.8,"endTime":1910.74,"body":"trauma, trauma, right, creating"},{"startTime":1907.8,"endTime":1910.74,"body":"all sorts of like mental garbage"},{"startTime":1910.74,"endTime":1913.2,"body":"in the back of your head, just"},{"startTime":1910.74,"endTime":1913.2,"body":"trying to keep your teeth clean."},{"startTime":1913.2,"endTime":1918.0,"body":"But why? Right? It is on me, if"},{"startTime":1913.2,"endTime":1918.0,"body":"I dealt with any other person"},{"startTime":1918.0,"endTime":1921.62,"body":"who I was trying to get to do"},{"startTime":1918.0,"endTime":1921.62,"body":"something, either I decide I"},{"startTime":1921.62,"endTime":1924.86,"body":"don't care, which sometimes we"},{"startTime":1921.62,"endTime":1924.86,"body":"do not lie. Sometimes, when"},{"startTime":1924.86,"endTime":1927.8,"body":"Tyler is like, I'm not feeling"},{"startTime":1924.86,"endTime":1927.8,"body":"it today. I'm like, You know"},{"startTime":1927.8,"endTime":1932.06,"body":"what? I'm like, You know what?"},{"startTime":1927.8,"endTime":1932.06,"body":"That's fine. You don't have to"},{"startTime":1932.06,"endTime":1934.22,"body":"feel it today. You don't want to"},{"startTime":1932.06,"endTime":1934.22,"body":"take a shower. I'm not in the"},{"startTime":1934.22,"endTime":1937.58,"body":"mood to fight you. To take a"},{"startTime":1934.22,"endTime":1937.58,"body":"shower. Go get in bed. Yeah, and"},{"startTime":1937.58,"endTime":1940.52,"body":"we do that with adults. It's"},{"startTime":1937.58,"endTime":1940.52,"body":"like, Oh, you want to be an"},{"startTime":1940.52,"endTime":1943.12,"body":"idiot. I'm gonna let you do that"},{"startTime":1940.52,"endTime":1943.12,"body":"over there. You got it."},{"startTime":1943.54,"endTime":1947.74,"body":"Sometimes I need you to do a"},{"startTime":1943.54,"endTime":1947.74,"body":"thing now. I need to regulate"},{"startTime":1947.86,"endTime":1948.4,"body":"and go,"},{"startTime":1949.78,"endTime":1953.2,"body":"use my big brain. Use the front"},{"startTime":1949.78,"endTime":1953.2,"body":"part of my brain, the big part,"},{"startTime":1953.2,"endTime":1957.4,"body":"not the survival part. Okay."},{"startTime":1953.2,"endTime":1957.4,"body":"What can I do that will make you"},{"startTime":1957.4,"endTime":1961.5,"body":"think less about the thing. How"},{"startTime":1957.4,"endTime":1961.5,"body":"can I distract you? How can I"},{"startTime":1961.5,"endTime":1964.5,"body":"encourage you? How can I make"},{"startTime":1961.5,"endTime":1964.5,"body":"this fun? How can I make this a"},{"startTime":1964.5,"endTime":1970.32,"body":"game? Right? There's all these"},{"startTime":1964.5,"endTime":1970.32,"body":"ways that we have to, that we"},{"startTime":1970.32,"endTime":1973.14,"body":"have access to, that can turn"},{"startTime":1970.32,"endTime":1973.14,"body":"something that could end up"},{"startTime":1973.14,"endTime":1977.94,"body":"being traumatic into something"},{"startTime":1973.14,"endTime":1977.94,"body":"that's best case benign, worst"},{"startTime":1977.94,"endTime":1981.8,"body":"case benign and best case like"},{"startTime":1977.94,"endTime":1981.8,"body":"fun, yeah, um, but that's,"},{"startTime":1981.98,"endTime":1984.08,"body":"that's a skill set, right?"},{"startTime":1981.98,"endTime":1984.08,"body":"That's a skill set that we have"},{"startTime":1984.08,"endTime":1988.46,"body":"to build, and I don't think a"},{"startTime":1984.08,"endTime":1988.46,"body":"lot of us built it. A lot of us"},{"startTime":1988.46,"endTime":1991.88,"body":"have this idea that certain"},{"startTime":1988.46,"endTime":1991.88,"body":"people are less important and"},{"startTime":1991.88,"endTime":1994.52,"body":"less valuable than other people,"},{"startTime":1991.88,"endTime":1994.52,"body":"yeah, whether that's because of"},{"startTime":1994.52,"endTime":1998.18,"body":"the color of their skin, who"},{"startTime":1994.52,"endTime":1998.18,"body":"they choose to love, or the fact"},{"startTime":1998.18,"endTime":1999.98,"body":"that they're three, right?"},{"startTime":2001.3,"endTime":2004.56,"body":"So it's like, all this stuff is"},{"startTime":2001.3,"endTime":2004.56,"body":"connected, and I don't think we"},{"startTime":2004.56,"endTime":2006.54,"body":"always think of it that way."},{"startTime":2004.56,"endTime":2006.54,"body":"It's like, oh, they have a"},{"startTime":2006.54,"endTime":2009.06,"body":"problem. It's like, No, our"},{"startTime":2006.54,"endTime":2009.06,"body":"society has a problem. Period,"},{"startTime":2009.12,"endTime":2012.66,"body":"valuing certain groups of"},{"startTime":2009.12,"endTime":2012.66,"body":"people. It's just a matter of"},{"startTime":2012.66,"endTime":2016.2,"body":"which group of people is it?"},{"startTime":2012.66,"endTime":2016.2,"body":"Yeah, and what kind of effort"},{"startTime":2016.2,"endTime":2020.16,"body":"are you going to put into making"},{"startTime":2016.2,"endTime":2020.16,"body":"like, into shifting that right?"},{"startTime":2020.16,"endTime":2023.12,"body":"And those like you saying, and I"},{"startTime":2020.16,"endTime":2023.12,"body":"think it's based on a narrative"},{"startTime":2023.12,"endTime":2027.5,"body":"that we have in our society, in"},{"startTime":2023.12,"endTime":2027.5,"body":"civilization, that you know,"},{"startTime":2027.5,"endTime":2029.6,"body":"that they can only be one at the"},{"startTime":2027.5,"endTime":2029.6,"body":"top,"},{"startTime":2030.68,"endTime":2034.34,"body":"and they're gonna be one of the"},{"startTime":2030.68,"endTime":2034.34,"body":"top. Individualism is gonna kick"},{"startTime":2034.34,"endTime":2035.54,"body":"our ass. Y'all,"},{"startTime":2036.68,"endTime":2037.82,"body":"I'm special process"},{"startTime":2039.02,"endTime":2044.02,"body":"everyone you know, and so I'm"},{"startTime":2039.02,"endTime":2044.02,"body":"significant, therefore you must"},{"startTime":2044.02,"endTime":2047.02,"body":"not be, because only one of us"},{"startTime":2044.02,"endTime":2047.02,"body":"can be significant"},{"startTime":2048.46,"endTime":2052.42,"body":"this idea that's built on and"},{"startTime":2048.46,"endTime":2052.42,"body":"yeah, and I'm just, I'm just"},{"startTime":2052.42,"endTime":2055.66,"body":"trying to decide where I am on"},{"startTime":2052.42,"endTime":2055.66,"body":"the political spectrum. But yet,"},{"startTime":2055.66,"endTime":2056.38,"body":"capitalism,"},{"startTime":2058.0,"endTime":2061.98,"body":"in itself, is, is just,"},{"startTime":2063.06,"endTime":2067.32,"body":"I can see all of its flaws,"},{"startTime":2063.06,"endTime":2067.32,"body":"especially when it comes to how"},{"startTime":2067.32,"endTime":2071.58,"body":"we value and structure our"},{"startTime":2067.32,"endTime":2071.58,"body":"society, evaluate ourselves as"},{"startTime":2071.58,"endTime":2075.12,"body":"individuals in light of what"},{"startTime":2071.58,"endTime":2075.12,"body":"we're trying to build in terms"},{"startTime":2075.12,"endTime":2079.56,"body":"of the society. Because, again,"},{"startTime":2075.12,"endTime":2079.56,"body":"narratives build nations, yeah,"},{"startTime":2079.62,"endTime":2082.7,"body":"and depending on the kind of"},{"startTime":2079.62,"endTime":2082.7,"body":"nation you want to build,"},{"startTime":2082.7,"endTime":2086.6,"body":"depends on the narrative you"},{"startTime":2082.7,"endTime":2086.6,"body":"want to start and put in motion."},{"startTime":2086.6,"endTime":2091.46,"body":"And once you set that thing in"},{"startTime":2086.6,"endTime":2091.46,"body":"motion, it's hard to undo it."},{"startTime":2092.12,"endTime":2096.26,"body":"It's hard, yeah, you talking"},{"startTime":2092.12,"endTime":2096.26,"body":"about 50 years, 100 years, 200"},{"startTime":2096.56,"endTime":2099.02,"body":"years down the line, this"},{"startTime":2096.56,"endTime":2099.02,"body":"nation's what, 230 something"},{"startTime":2099.02,"endTime":2099.62,"body":"years old. Don't."},{"startTime":2100.0,"endTime":2100.6,"body":"Make, okay?"},{"startTime":2102.16,"endTime":2106.84,"body":"76 to 250, some odd years old."},{"startTime":2102.16,"endTime":2106.84,"body":"We trust you. Chris, yeah, 77"},{"startTime":2107.14,"endTime":2111.64,"body":"cents. But I don't do the math,"},{"startTime":2107.14,"endTime":2111.64,"body":"you know, right? But we all do"},{"startTime":2111.76,"endTime":2115.18,"body":"it. We could do the math. Do any"},{"startTime":2111.76,"endTime":2115.18,"body":"of y'all care, right? 48"},{"startTime":2116.62,"endTime":2118.9,"body":"years, 48 years old. Chris, I"},{"startTime":2116.62,"endTime":2118.9,"body":"like"},{"startTime":2120.04,"endTime":2124.92,"body":"your I like your round math. It"},{"startTime":2120.04,"endTime":2124.92,"body":"was very effective, yes, yeah,"},{"startTime":2124.92,"endTime":2130.26,"body":"but it's, it's this idea that"},{"startTime":2124.92,"endTime":2130.26,"body":"this narrative is baked into our"},{"startTime":2130.26,"endTime":2136.14,"body":"society, that there must be an"},{"startTime":2130.26,"endTime":2136.14,"body":"underclass for this society to"},{"startTime":2136.14,"endTime":2141.92,"body":"thrive, yeah. And so we begin to"},{"startTime":2136.14,"endTime":2141.92,"body":"structure power and values in"},{"startTime":2141.92,"endTime":2145.16,"body":"service to that narrative,"},{"startTime":2141.92,"endTime":2145.16,"body":"because we cannot envision it"},{"startTime":2145.16,"endTime":2149.42,"body":"any other way, yeah. And whereas"},{"startTime":2145.16,"endTime":2149.42,"body":"there's other societies that are"},{"startTime":2149.48,"endTime":2153.32,"body":"egalitarian, that are, you know,"},{"startTime":2149.48,"endTime":2153.32,"body":"that had that their moment of"},{"startTime":2153.32,"endTime":2157.28,"body":"collective repentance, yeah? And"},{"startTime":2153.32,"endTime":2157.28,"body":"also keep that remembrance,"},{"startTime":2157.52,"endTime":2158.3,"body":"think of Germany."},{"startTime":2161.42,"endTime":2164.38,"body":"Yeah. You think of Germany, how"},{"startTime":2161.42,"endTime":2164.38,"body":"they went off the deep end in"},{"startTime":2164.38,"endTime":2169.42,"body":"1940s and 50s, yeah, of course,"},{"startTime":2164.38,"endTime":2169.42,"body":"with the obvious"},{"startTime":2170.56,"endTime":2174.28,"body":"moment in history. And they just"},{"startTime":2170.56,"endTime":2174.28,"body":"did it about face, and goes,"},{"startTime":2174.28,"endTime":2178.84,"body":"Okay, what does it take for us"},{"startTime":2174.28,"endTime":2178.84,"body":"as a people, never to be in this"},{"startTime":2178.84,"endTime":2179.62,"body":"spot again?"},{"startTime":2181.06,"endTime":2186.78,"body":"And and they literally did that."},{"startTime":2181.06,"endTime":2186.78,"body":"Now I'm not saying that Germany"},{"startTime":2186.78,"endTime":2189.18,"body":"is perfect or this is heaven on"},{"startTime":2186.78,"endTime":2189.18,"body":"earth. I'm pretty sure they got"},{"startTime":2189.18,"endTime":2192.24,"body":"their own structural problems,"},{"startTime":2189.18,"endTime":2192.24,"body":"issues based on other narratives"},{"startTime":2192.24,"endTime":2196.02,"body":"they got going on absolutely but"},{"startTime":2192.24,"endTime":2196.02,"body":"on this issue, they have"},{"startTime":2196.5,"endTime":2201.14,"body":"repented and restructured and"},{"startTime":2196.5,"endTime":2201.14,"body":"thought differently about what"},{"startTime":2201.14,"endTime":2204.26,"body":"it takes to, yeah, to not do"},{"startTime":2201.14,"endTime":2204.26,"body":"that."},{"startTime":2206.3,"endTime":2210.32,"body":"We have yet to do that over here"},{"startTime":2206.3,"endTime":2210.32,"body":"as a nation, with the offended"},{"startTime":2210.32,"endTime":2213.92,"body":"parties, as it were, because,"},{"startTime":2210.32,"endTime":2213.92,"body":"because, be honest, we're still"},{"startTime":2213.92,"endTime":2219.2,"body":"doing it absolutely, and we're"},{"startTime":2213.92,"endTime":2219.2,"body":"also a mentality which is"},{"startTime":2219.5,"endTime":2223.3,"body":"infuriating, yeah, that those"},{"startTime":2219.5,"endTime":2223.3,"body":"are who, who are in control are"},{"startTime":2223.3,"endTime":2224.38,"body":"the offended parties"},{"startTime":2226.24,"endTime":2230.32,"body":"that the people who have their"},{"startTime":2226.24,"endTime":2230.32,"body":"thumb on everybody else's neck"},{"startTime":2230.5,"endTime":2233.56,"body":"or foot on everybody else's"},{"startTime":2230.5,"endTime":2233.56,"body":"neck, that's how they that's"},{"startTime":2233.56,"endTime":2237.04,"body":"how, um, they're the ones. It's"},{"startTime":2233.56,"endTime":2237.04,"body":"like, How dare you, you. They."},{"startTime":2237.04,"endTime":2238.24,"body":"Nobody wants to work"},{"startTime":2239.26,"endTime":2242.76,"body":"for nothing. No, not like this."},{"startTime":2239.26,"endTime":2242.76,"body":"Nobody wants to work for"},{"startTime":2242.76,"endTime":2244.62,"body":"nothing. This is also not"},{"startTime":2242.76,"endTime":2244.62,"body":"working."},{"startTime":2245.94,"endTime":2247.26,"body":"It only works for you"},{"startTime":2248.46,"endTime":2252.0,"body":"if this is and this is why, this"},{"startTime":2248.46,"endTime":2252.0,"body":"is what happens when you stop"},{"startTime":2252.0,"endTime":2254.46,"body":"teaching actual history and"},{"startTime":2252.0,"endTime":2254.46,"body":"history class. But that's a"},{"startTime":2254.52,"endTime":2258.18,"body":"that's a conversation by the end"},{"startTime":2254.52,"endTime":2258.18,"body":"of the day, the the idea, like"},{"startTime":2258.18,"endTime":2259.62,"body":"you said, that we"},{"startTime":2261.0,"endTime":2263.96,"body":"and we're speaking from an"},{"startTime":2261.0,"endTime":2263.96,"body":"American context, because that's"},{"startTime":2263.96,"endTime":2267.2,"body":"where we live. We are aware that"},{"startTime":2263.96,"endTime":2267.2,"body":"there are other contexts that"},{"startTime":2267.2,"endTime":2269.9,"body":"are similar to this and very"},{"startTime":2267.2,"endTime":2269.9,"body":"dissimilar. Just to put that out"},{"startTime":2269.9,"endTime":2273.02,"body":"there, however, in the American"},{"startTime":2269.9,"endTime":2273.02,"body":"context, and we live in the"},{"startTime":2273.02,"endTime":2273.2,"body":"south,"},{"startTime":2274.46,"endTime":2275.54,"body":"do with that what you will"},{"startTime":2276.62,"endTime":2281.32,"body":"mostly praise and vibes, and I"},{"startTime":2276.62,"endTime":2281.32,"body":"don't know, generations, life"},{"startTime":2281.32,"endTime":2284.8,"body":"raft, please. I hope we don't"},{"startTime":2281.32,"endTime":2284.8,"body":"need no rafts and a life straw."},{"startTime":2284.8,"endTime":2287.62,"body":"I've taken up camping, and I"},{"startTime":2284.8,"endTime":2287.62,"body":"need supplies. Oh, I've heard of"},{"startTime":2287.62,"endTime":2288.94,"body":"them. Yeah, I used to have one."},{"startTime":2290.02,"endTime":2292.42,"body":"I got some stuff. Anyway, your"},{"startTime":2290.02,"endTime":2292.42,"body":"things? Okay, I'm sorry."},{"startTime":2295.78,"endTime":2300.72,"body":"Anyway, like, there's a there's"},{"startTime":2295.78,"endTime":2300.72,"body":"a very there's this idea that"},{"startTime":2300.72,"endTime":2305.82,"body":"parties that are the aggressors"},{"startTime":2300.72,"endTime":2305.82,"body":"are the aggrieved, and it's that"},{"startTime":2307.98,"endTime":2311.16,"body":"they are the aggrieved. Well,"},{"startTime":2307.98,"endTime":2311.16,"body":"yes, unchallenged, they're fine."},{"startTime":2311.16,"endTime":2314.28,"body":"But once it's once the status"},{"startTime":2311.16,"endTime":2314.28,"body":"quo is challenged, and we're"},{"startTime":2314.28,"endTime":2316.98,"body":"trying to shake shit up so that"},{"startTime":2314.28,"endTime":2316.98,"body":"it works for everybody, you"},{"startTime":2316.98,"endTime":2319.5,"body":"know, lower more than just them."},{"startTime":2316.98,"endTime":2319.5,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2322.14,"endTime":2326.24,"body":"Yeah, you know, written this out"},{"startTime":2322.14,"endTime":2326.24,"body":"if you didn't mean it, all men"},{"startTime":2326.24,"endTime":2328.34,"body":"are created equal. No, they did"},{"startTime":2326.24,"endTime":2328.34,"body":"what. They didn't mean that."},{"startTime":2328.34,"endTime":2331.16,"body":"They didn't mean it. Well, no,"},{"startTime":2328.34,"endTime":2331.16,"body":"pause, they did mean it by their"},{"startTime":2331.16,"endTime":2334.1,"body":"definition. Because, who is men,"},{"startTime":2331.16,"endTime":2334.1,"body":"right? They literally. They were"},{"startTime":2334.16,"endTime":2337.82,"body":"specific about men, not all"},{"startTime":2334.16,"endTime":2337.82,"body":"people men. There was men, and"},{"startTime":2337.82,"endTime":2340.78,"body":"men at the time was defined by"},{"startTime":2337.82,"endTime":2340.78,"body":"white men, yeah, and they met"},{"startTime":2340.78,"endTime":2344.44,"body":"men, not like and I think"},{"startTime":2340.78,"endTime":2344.44,"body":"oftentimes it can still be"},{"startTime":2344.44,"endTime":2350.56,"body":"defined as white men. Frequently"},{"startTime":2344.44,"endTime":2350.56,"body":"we had a discussion Chris. Chris"},{"startTime":2350.56,"endTime":2353.32,"body":"is the kind of person who"},{"startTime":2350.56,"endTime":2353.32,"body":"watches tiktoks And then wants"},{"startTime":2353.32,"endTime":2355.36,"body":"to show them to me, even though"},{"startTime":2353.32,"endTime":2355.36,"body":"they're about topics that I"},{"startTime":2355.36,"endTime":2357.76,"body":"don't enjoy. But he usually"},{"startTime":2355.36,"endTime":2357.76,"body":"tries to find the ones that he"},{"startTime":2357.76,"endTime":2359.62,"body":"thinks I think is funny. Um,"},{"startTime":2360.64,"endTime":2364.08,"body":"mainly politics. So if I talk"},{"startTime":2360.64,"endTime":2364.08,"body":"about politics, it's because"},{"startTime":2364.08,"endTime":2365.7,"body":"Chris showed me something"},{"startTime":2368.1,"endTime":2373.98,"body":"that's fair. So he was watching"},{"startTime":2368.1,"endTime":2373.98,"body":"something on the new channel"},{"startTime":2373.98,"endTime":2376.5,"body":"that I'm not going to give any"},{"startTime":2373.98,"endTime":2376.5,"body":"press to, but you probably know"},{"startTime":2376.5,"endTime":2381.02,"body":"which one it is. And we're"},{"startTime":2376.5,"endTime":2381.02,"body":"watching a clip, and this,"},{"startTime":2382.4,"endTime":2385.52,"body":"this guy is talking to, you"},{"startTime":2382.4,"endTime":2385.52,"body":"know, one of one of the news"},{"startTime":2385.52,"endTime":2390.38,"body":"anchors, and he calls one of the"},{"startTime":2385.52,"endTime":2390.38,"body":"presidential candidates a name,"},{"startTime":2390.92,"endTime":2396.74,"body":"and was lamenting about her"},{"startTime":2390.92,"endTime":2396.74,"body":"giggling and how it was"},{"startTime":2396.98,"endTime":2398.06,"body":"unpresidential."},{"startTime":2399.08,"endTime":2399.92,"body":"And."},{"startTime":2400.36,"endTime":2404.62,"body":"I called her a ding dong. Let's"},{"startTime":2400.36,"endTime":2404.62,"body":"not forget that. Y'all joy. And"},{"startTime":2404.62,"endTime":2405.58,"body":"that's wild to me."},{"startTime":2406.78,"endTime":2411.94,"body":"So this is, this is what. And"},{"startTime":2406.78,"endTime":2411.94,"body":"then in, in the clip goes on to"},{"startTime":2411.94,"endTime":2416.38,"body":"say that, um, what's her name,"},{"startTime":2411.94,"endTime":2416.38,"body":"she was in, she was like, the"},{"startTime":2416.38,"endTime":2420.78,"body":"prime minister of Britain, um,"},{"startTime":2416.38,"endTime":2420.78,"body":"Thatcher, who's like, Margaret"},{"startTime":2420.78,"endTime":2423.0,"body":"Thatcher didn't giggle, and I"},{"startTime":2420.78,"endTime":2423.0,"body":"was like,"},{"startTime":2424.86,"endTime":2431.16,"body":"but he did also British. So"},{"startTime":2424.86,"endTime":2431.16,"body":"there's so many issues, but this"},{"startTime":2431.16,"endTime":2431.46,"body":"is what"},{"startTime":2432.6,"endTime":2435.12,"body":"I said. After the British they"},{"startTime":2432.6,"endTime":2435.12,"body":"freed ourselves from, well, you"},{"startTime":2435.12,"endTime":2437.94,"body":"know what? Apparently, we stole"},{"startTime":2435.12,"endTime":2437.94,"body":"their national anthem. We just"},{"startTime":2438.0,"endTime":2441.86,"body":"decided to redo the words and"},{"startTime":2438.0,"endTime":2441.86,"body":"make some reason, apparently we"},{"startTime":2441.86,"endTime":2446.42,"body":"do that. That's what we do. But"},{"startTime":2441.86,"endTime":2446.42,"body":"however, the thing that I really"},{"startTime":2446.66,"endTime":2449.84,"body":"noticed was they were like, Oh,"},{"startTime":2446.66,"endTime":2449.84,"body":"would you be saying this if she"},{"startTime":2449.84,"endTime":2453.26,"body":"wasn't a woman? And his response"},{"startTime":2449.84,"endTime":2453.26,"body":"was, I don't care if she that"},{"startTime":2453.26,"endTime":2456.26,"body":"she's a woman. I don't care that"},{"startTime":2453.26,"endTime":2456.26,"body":"she's black. I just think she's"},{"startTime":2456.26,"endTime":2460.16,"body":"incompetent. And I said to"},{"startTime":2456.26,"endTime":2460.16,"body":"Chris, you know what he might"},{"startTime":2460.16,"endTime":2463.42,"body":"actually be telling the truth,"},{"startTime":2460.16,"endTime":2463.42,"body":"because he could like he he"},{"startTime":2463.42,"endTime":2466.12,"body":"referenced Margaret Thatcher."},{"startTime":2463.42,"endTime":2466.12,"body":"And so basically what he was"},{"startTime":2466.12,"endTime":2469.48,"body":"saying is, as long as you think"},{"startTime":2466.12,"endTime":2469.48,"body":"what I think, and behave how I"},{"startTime":2469.48,"endTime":2474.34,"body":"behave, I eat like a man, and"},{"startTime":2469.48,"endTime":2474.34,"body":"particularly, preferably like a"},{"startTime":2474.34,"endTime":2478.9,"body":"white man, then I don't care"},{"startTime":2474.34,"endTime":2478.9,"body":"what you actually look like. And"},{"startTime":2479.08,"endTime":2484.62,"body":"according to him, men don't"},{"startTime":2479.08,"endTime":2484.62,"body":"giggle. And I was just like,"},{"startTime":2486.54,"endTime":2488.88,"body":"they sound so sad. Okay,"},{"startTime":2491.94,"endTime":2496.98,"body":"the way that you need first of"},{"startTime":2491.94,"endTime":2496.98,"body":"all, because she knew y'all"},{"startTime":2496.98,"endTime":2500.34,"body":"niggas was out there. That part"},{"startTime":2496.98,"endTime":2500.34,"body":"made her life hell. I was about"},{"startTime":2500.34,"endTime":2503.84,"body":"to say, she's probably"},{"startTime":2500.34,"endTime":2503.84,"body":"miserable, stressed. That was,"},{"startTime":2503.9,"endTime":2506.48,"body":"honestly my first thought. Is"},{"startTime":2503.9,"endTime":2506.48,"body":"Margaret was probably miserable."},{"startTime":2506.54,"endTime":2508.34,"body":"Yeah, if I had to deal with"},{"startTime":2509.72,"endTime":2514.04,"body":"every day, yes, only men every"},{"startTime":2509.72,"endTime":2514.04,"body":"day, I too, would not giggle,"},{"startTime":2514.04,"endTime":2516.8,"body":"because I'd be like, this is"},{"startTime":2514.04,"endTime":2516.8,"body":"something. There's nothing funny"},{"startTime":2516.8,"endTime":2521.14,"body":"about this. Ain't nothing funny."},{"startTime":2516.8,"endTime":2521.14,"body":"No shade to me. We're not man"},{"startTime":2521.14,"endTime":2524.68,"body":"hating. Here we do. I happen to"},{"startTime":2521.14,"endTime":2524.68,"body":"love this one, yeah,"},{"startTime":2526.12,"endTime":2527.08,"body":"and a few others,"},{"startTime":2528.76,"endTime":2532.48,"body":"man hating. But like, Y'all have"},{"startTime":2528.76,"endTime":2532.48,"body":"watched the crown, no, y'all"},{"startTime":2532.48,"endTime":2535.72,"body":"seen them. Room full of them."},{"startTime":2532.48,"endTime":2535.72,"body":"There is a there is, I mean, I"},{"startTime":2535.72,"endTime":2538.42,"body":"hate on the patriarchy all day."},{"startTime":2535.72,"endTime":2538.42,"body":"And that's what that is well,"},{"startTime":2538.42,"endTime":2541.62,"body":"because patriarchy doesn't"},{"startTime":2538.42,"endTime":2541.62,"body":"benefit anybody like it,"},{"startTime":2541.62,"endTime":2545.88,"body":"ultimately, in a box. Ultimately"},{"startTime":2541.62,"endTime":2545.88,"body":"a box of certainty, sorry, a box"},{"startTime":2545.88,"endTime":2550.2,"body":"of certainty that don't fit."},{"startTime":2545.88,"endTime":2550.2,"body":"Doesn't fit. It don't fit. And"},{"startTime":2550.2,"endTime":2552.36,"body":"you know what? Everybody needs"},{"startTime":2550.2,"endTime":2552.36,"body":"to get a little bit more"},{"startTime":2552.36,"endTime":2555.36,"body":"sensitive about the fact that"},{"startTime":2552.36,"endTime":2555.36,"body":"stuff don't fit, like my toddler"},{"startTime":2555.42,"endTime":2558.66,"body":"when their shoes don't fit. You"},{"startTime":2555.42,"endTime":2558.66,"body":"know they're not wearing them."},{"startTime":2559.2,"endTime":2562.82,"body":"But what will we do, we will"},{"startTime":2559.2,"endTime":2562.82,"body":"shove ourselves in a box, be"},{"startTime":2562.82,"endTime":2565.82,"body":"uncomfortable as hell, end up"},{"startTime":2562.82,"endTime":2565.82,"body":"with hammer toes trying to keep"},{"startTime":2565.82,"endTime":2569.66,"body":"your feet in the damn you are"},{"startTime":2565.82,"endTime":2569.66,"body":"literally cramped up. You have"},{"startTime":2569.66,"endTime":2572.66,"body":"permanently damaged stuff, and"},{"startTime":2569.66,"endTime":2572.66,"body":"now you need surgery, and this"},{"startTime":2572.66,"endTime":2575.24,"body":"analogy is going off the rails."},{"startTime":2572.66,"endTime":2575.24,"body":"But Come with me. No, I like to"},{"startTime":2575.24,"endTime":2575.48,"body":"go."},{"startTime":2576.68,"endTime":2581.56,"body":"You will contort yourself, yes,"},{"startTime":2576.68,"endTime":2581.56,"body":"until you barely recognize"},{"startTime":2581.56,"endTime":2585.64,"body":"yourself at the first"},{"startTime":2581.56,"endTime":2585.64,"body":"opportunity to stretch at all."},{"startTime":2585.64,"endTime":2588.52,"body":"You're like, Oh, it's scary. And"},{"startTime":2585.64,"endTime":2588.52,"body":"then you're like, oh, but it"},{"startTime":2588.7,"endTime":2593.2,"body":"feels good. That's it. And that"},{"startTime":2588.7,"endTime":2593.2,"body":"right there. That is why"},{"startTime":2593.2,"endTime":2596.8,"body":"certainty it, it is just like"},{"startTime":2593.2,"endTime":2596.8,"body":"the patriarchy. It does come on."},{"startTime":2596.8,"endTime":2598.18,"body":"Patriarchy, him too,"},{"startTime":2600.16,"endTime":2602.94,"body":"the pancreas, the pancreatic"},{"startTime":2600.16,"endTime":2602.94,"body":"pancrear,"},{"startTime":2604.98,"endTime":2607.56,"body":"pancreatic cancer. Once you get"},{"startTime":2604.98,"endTime":2607.56,"body":"that, you probably gone, just"},{"startTime":2607.56,"endTime":2611.46,"body":"like Sheila, makes you rest in"},{"startTime":2607.56,"endTime":2611.46,"body":"peace. So patriarchy is just"},{"startTime":2611.46,"endTime":2612.6,"body":"like it. Podcast"},{"startTime":2616.2,"endTime":2619.5,"body":"is done real quick. We're"},{"startTime":2616.2,"endTime":2619.5,"body":"digging into the roots. Y'all,"},{"startTime":2619.5,"endTime":2619.68,"body":"it's"},{"startTime":2621.3,"endTime":2622.46,"body":"dark down"},{"startTime":2623.48,"endTime":2623.84,"body":"there."},{"startTime":2625.52,"endTime":2628.88,"body":"You get your hands dirty. It's"},{"startTime":2625.52,"endTime":2628.88,"body":"grimy, yeah, but once you get to"},{"startTime":2628.88,"endTime":2631.16,"body":"stretch out them roots a little"},{"startTime":2628.88,"endTime":2631.16,"body":"bit, you get a little more"},{"startTime":2631.16,"endTime":2634.16,"body":"space. You got to get repotted,"},{"startTime":2631.16,"endTime":2634.16,"body":"and you can stretch out. That's"},{"startTime":2634.16,"endTime":2637.52,"body":"really it. Then you can move up,"},{"startTime":2634.16,"endTime":2637.52,"body":"right? Because you listen, you"},{"startTime":2637.52,"endTime":2640.58,"body":"won't grow unless you're"},{"startTime":2637.52,"endTime":2640.58,"body":"grounded. All right, come on."},{"startTime":2640.58,"endTime":2643.6,"body":"All right, y'all are gonna get"},{"startTime":2640.58,"endTime":2643.6,"body":"all of the brainstorming we did."},{"startTime":2643.6,"endTime":2644.68,"body":"Y'all are gonna get all the"},{"startTime":2647.38,"endTime":2649.72,"body":"things because we had some good"},{"startTime":2647.38,"endTime":2649.72,"body":"thoughts, and they go keep"},{"startTime":2649.72,"endTime":2652.6,"body":"popping up. It's actually an"},{"startTime":2649.72,"endTime":2652.6,"body":"ariletic song I was referencing."},{"startTime":2652.72,"endTime":2653.74,"body":"Oh, see,"},{"startTime":2654.88,"endTime":2659.2,"body":"I stopped listening to new music"},{"startTime":2654.88,"endTime":2659.2,"body":"after like, 2009 so, yeah, now"},{"startTime":2659.2,"endTime":2660.72,"body":"it's a good song. You should"},{"startTime":2659.2,"endTime":2660.72,"body":"listen to"},{"startTime":2661.74,"endTime":2664.44,"body":"it. I will. It's a good thing. I"},{"startTime":2661.74,"endTime":2664.44,"body":"have to send it. I'd sing it,"},{"startTime":2664.44,"endTime":2668.88,"body":"but I can't sing like Ari so and"},{"startTime":2664.44,"endTime":2668.88,"body":"we don't thing to, like, get,"},{"startTime":2668.94,"endTime":2673.62,"body":"get, not demonetized. What's the"},{"startTime":2668.94,"endTime":2673.62,"body":"word copyrighted? Do you get"},{"startTime":2673.74,"endTime":2678.0,"body":"podcasts and change the melody?"},{"startTime":2673.74,"endTime":2678.0,"body":"You just gotta sing it poorly."},{"startTime":2678.06,"endTime":2678.42,"body":"Like,"},{"startTime":2680.28,"endTime":2683.54,"body":"grow, once you are Graco, turn"},{"startTime":2685.46,"endTime":2691.76,"body":"it into a show too. I hope that"},{"startTime":2685.46,"endTime":2691.76,"body":"didn't deem I hope it didn't"},{"startTime":2691.76,"endTime":2692.9,"body":"bad. Bat, no, good, okay, yeah,"},{"startTime":2697.64,"endTime":2698.48,"body":"you got the vision."},{"startTime":2699.8,"endTime":2699.92,"body":"No."},{"startTime":2700.0,"endTime":2704.14,"body":"Oh, I try to remember, wow, not"},{"startTime":2700.0,"endTime":2704.14,"body":"you call the vision in part, but"},{"startTime":2704.14,"endTime":2707.44,"body":"that okay, but That'll preach,"},{"startTime":2704.14,"endTime":2707.44,"body":"because that, I think that is"},{"startTime":2707.44,"endTime":2710.86,"body":"what happens, right? Like"},{"startTime":2707.44,"endTime":2710.86,"body":"certainty is having, sometimes"},{"startTime":2710.86,"endTime":2713.2,"body":"none of the vision, but"},{"startTime":2710.86,"endTime":2713.2,"body":"sometimes it's having the vision"},{"startTime":2713.2,"endTime":2717.1,"body":"in part, right? Like we may"},{"startTime":2713.2,"endTime":2717.1,"body":"know, we may feel good about"},{"startTime":2717.22,"endTime":2721.02,"body":"this is where I want to end."},{"startTime":2717.22,"endTime":2721.02,"body":"Yeah, right. Maybe you don't"},{"startTime":2721.02,"endTime":2724.68,"body":"know the journey. You don't"},{"startTime":2721.02,"endTime":2724.68,"body":"know. And what I've learned is"},{"startTime":2724.68,"endTime":2729.12,"body":"people don't like the journey."},{"startTime":2724.68,"endTime":2729.12,"body":"People, sometimes it's me. I'm"},{"startTime":2729.12,"endTime":2734.4,"body":"people, but like we like to"},{"startTime":2729.12,"endTime":2734.4,"body":"arrive. Yes, we like to show up."},{"startTime":2735.72,"endTime":2738.66,"body":"The whole resolution. If you get"},{"startTime":2735.72,"endTime":2738.66,"body":"to the end of the book and that"},{"startTime":2738.66,"endTime":2740.84,"body":"shit don't make sense, it's"},{"startTime":2738.66,"endTime":2740.84,"body":"because you didn't read all 27"},{"startTime":2741.14,"endTime":2746.06,"body":"chapters in the middle, right?"},{"startTime":2741.14,"endTime":2746.06,"body":"In order to truly get there and"},{"startTime":2746.06,"endTime":2749.84,"body":"have what you need for there to"},{"startTime":2746.06,"endTime":2749.84,"body":"make sense, you gotta go on. You"},{"startTime":2749.84,"endTime":2752.06,"body":"gotta go on the journey. And I"},{"startTime":2749.84,"endTime":2752.06,"body":"think that's what's what has"},{"startTime":2752.06,"endTime":2756.38,"body":"kept me and y'all, it's like 17"},{"startTime":2752.06,"endTime":2756.38,"body":"transitions happening in my"},{"startTime":2756.38,"endTime":2759.98,"body":"life. Let's not, let's not"},{"startTime":2756.38,"endTime":2759.98,"body":"minimize but like, the thing"},{"startTime":2759.98,"endTime":2764.5,"body":"that keeps me is that like I am"},{"startTime":2759.98,"endTime":2764.5,"body":"always where I need to be. So"},{"startTime":2764.5,"endTime":2767.14,"body":"whatever moment I'm in, no"},{"startTime":2764.5,"endTime":2767.14,"body":"matter how uncomfortable it is,"},{"startTime":2767.32,"endTime":2770.56,"body":"I am always where I need to be."},{"startTime":2767.32,"endTime":2770.56,"body":"And there's something here for"},{"startTime":2770.56,"endTime":2774.76,"body":"me. So in this room right now,"},{"startTime":2770.56,"endTime":2774.76,"body":"there's something here for me if"},{"startTime":2774.76,"endTime":2777.46,"body":"something amazing happens, okay,"},{"startTime":2774.76,"endTime":2777.46,"body":"great, that's something here for"},{"startTime":2777.46,"endTime":2782.82,"body":"me. If something less than"},{"startTime":2777.46,"endTime":2782.82,"body":"desirable happens, then that"},{"startTime":2782.82,"endTime":2785.58,"body":"there's something there for me"},{"startTime":2782.82,"endTime":2785.58,"body":"that I'm going to need when I"},{"startTime":2785.58,"endTime":2789.06,"body":"get to the place I'm going"},{"startTime":2785.58,"endTime":2789.06,"body":"right. Like, yeah, yeah. And I"},{"startTime":2789.06,"endTime":2792.84,"body":"think in this particular season"},{"startTime":2789.06,"endTime":2792.84,"body":"of my life where I need it to"},{"startTime":2792.84,"endTime":2795.42,"body":"shift, like I needed to be"},{"startTime":2792.84,"endTime":2795.42,"body":"uprooted,"},{"startTime":2797.34,"endTime":2798.0,"body":"well,"},{"startTime":2799.56,"endTime":2803.36,"body":"like there are so many things I"},{"startTime":2799.56,"endTime":2803.36,"body":"have gathered in this part of"},{"startTime":2803.36,"endTime":2807.68,"body":"the journey that I'm like, yo, I"},{"startTime":2803.36,"endTime":2807.68,"body":"don't know where. I don't know"},{"startTime":2807.68,"endTime":2811.46,"body":"exactly where the next, like"},{"startTime":2807.68,"endTime":2811.46,"body":"stop is on this thing, but what"},{"startTime":2811.46,"endTime":2814.82,"body":"I know is, baby, I think I'm"},{"startTime":2811.46,"endTime":2814.82,"body":"equipped. You picking up stuff."},{"startTime":2815.18,"endTime":2818.78,"body":"I think I'm equipped. And I"},{"startTime":2815.18,"endTime":2818.78,"body":"hope, Jesus, I hope I'm"},{"startTime":2818.78,"endTime":2821.26,"body":"equipped. But what I know is, I"},{"startTime":2818.78,"endTime":2821.26,"body":"got more equipment than I had"},{"startTime":2821.38,"endTime":2826.42,"body":"right, right at the start, yeah,"},{"startTime":2821.38,"endTime":2826.42,"body":"and like, internal equipment"},{"startTime":2826.6,"endTime":2830.98,"body":"that I had at the start. And so,"},{"startTime":2826.6,"endTime":2830.98,"body":"like, we can't, you cannot"},{"startTime":2830.98,"endTime":2833.74,"body":"bypass. There is no shortcut,"},{"startTime":2830.98,"endTime":2833.74,"body":"right? Like, what did Jennifer"},{"startTime":2833.74,"endTime":2836.32,"body":"Lewis used to say, there's no"},{"startTime":2833.74,"endTime":2836.32,"body":"shortcut to success. You got to"},{"startTime":2836.32,"endTime":2838.96,"body":"take that. There's no elevator"},{"startTime":2836.32,"endTime":2838.96,"body":"to success. You have to take the"},{"startTime":2839.14,"endTime":2843.24,"body":"stairs. Life is the stairs,"},{"startTime":2839.14,"endTime":2843.24,"body":"right? The problem is we want"},{"startTime":2843.24,"endTime":2846.66,"body":"the elevator because we know the"},{"startTime":2843.24,"endTime":2846.66,"body":"elevator is going up, and we"},{"startTime":2846.66,"endTime":2850.02,"body":"know we can press the button and"},{"startTime":2846.66,"endTime":2850.02,"body":"it'll go and it'll go to that"},{"startTime":2850.02,"endTime":2850.68,"body":"floor."},{"startTime":2852.3,"endTime":2855.6,"body":"Sometimes life will present us"},{"startTime":2852.3,"endTime":2855.6,"body":"with opportunities, just to show"},{"startTime":2855.6,"endTime":2859.14,"body":"that principle, yeah, that life"},{"startTime":2855.6,"endTime":2859.14,"body":"does not come with it. They will"},{"startTime":2859.2,"endTime":2863.84,"body":"actually give somebody an"},{"startTime":2859.2,"endTime":2863.84,"body":"elevator. Yeah, to success, and"},{"startTime":2863.84,"endTime":2867.14,"body":"we see how they crumble, yeah,"},{"startTime":2863.84,"endTime":2867.14,"body":"because they they took the show,"},{"startTime":2867.14,"endTime":2871.1,"body":"and we'll see it. And like in"},{"startTime":2867.14,"endTime":2871.1,"body":"their life becomes a story about"},{"startTime":2871.76,"endTime":2875.06,"body":"this eternal principle of going"},{"startTime":2871.76,"endTime":2875.06,"body":"through the process. That's"},{"startTime":2875.06,"endTime":2878.78,"body":"right. And I don't want to be"},{"startTime":2875.06,"endTime":2878.78,"body":"one of them, people that that"},{"startTime":2878.78,"endTime":2881.6,"body":"have to be a story to somebody"},{"startTime":2878.78,"endTime":2881.6,"body":"else about this is what happens"},{"startTime":2881.6,"endTime":2884.68,"body":"when you don't go to the"},{"startTime":2881.6,"endTime":2884.68,"body":"process. Bypass, yeah, it's"},{"startTime":2884.68,"endTime":2888.88,"body":"like, bypass, Okay, y'all know"},{"startTime":2884.68,"endTime":2888.88,"body":"Okay, y'all don't know this. I"},{"startTime":2889.06,"endTime":2890.86,"body":"they've been doing the"},{"startTime":2889.06,"endTime":2890.86,"body":"analogies. I've been letting"},{"startTime":2890.86,"endTime":2894.46,"body":"them have it. I'm the analogy"},{"startTime":2890.86,"endTime":2894.46,"body":"queen in this life."},{"startTime":2895.84,"endTime":2899.38,"body":"I think I want to say it's in my"},{"startTime":2895.84,"endTime":2899.38,"body":"Instagram description, Queen of"},{"startTime":2899.38,"endTime":2902.16,"body":"analogies, or something like"},{"startTime":2899.38,"endTime":2902.16,"body":"that. Author of analogy, because"},{"startTime":2902.16,"endTime":2902.94,"body":"I love alliteration,"},{"startTime":2904.92,"endTime":2909.54,"body":"yeah, but it's literally like"},{"startTime":2904.92,"endTime":2909.54,"body":"building a house, right? Like,"},{"startTime":2909.54,"endTime":2913.08,"body":"if you see yourself, is this the"},{"startTime":2909.54,"endTime":2913.08,"body":"analogy? No, it's similar to the"},{"startTime":2913.08,"endTime":2917.46,"body":"one I used at photosynthesis,"},{"startTime":2913.08,"endTime":2917.46,"body":"but it's, it's like, what"},{"startTime":2917.46,"endTime":2920.6,"body":"happens if you bypass"},{"startTime":2917.46,"endTime":2920.6,"body":"fundamental steps, right?"},{"startTime":2920.78,"endTime":2926.18,"body":"Digging a big ass hole is not"},{"startTime":2920.78,"endTime":2926.18,"body":"fun, no, but it is necessary to"},{"startTime":2926.18,"endTime":2929.24,"body":"get if you're gonna build a slab"},{"startTime":2926.18,"endTime":2929.24,"body":"foundation, it's necessary to"},{"startTime":2929.24,"endTime":2933.92,"body":"get that thing in the ground"},{"startTime":2929.24,"endTime":2933.92,"body":"right. It's not fire. You gotta"},{"startTime":2933.92,"endTime":2936.98,"body":"have space for all your plumbing"},{"startTime":2933.92,"endTime":2936.98,"body":"and that part, yeah, if you"},{"startTime":2936.98,"endTime":2940.84,"body":"don't do that right, my guy, yo,"},{"startTime":2936.98,"endTime":2940.84,"body":"shit is gonna be like the house"},{"startTime":2940.84,"endTime":2943.18,"body":"built on the sand, and it's"},{"startTime":2940.84,"endTime":2943.18,"body":"going to crumble. You're going"},{"startTime":2943.18,"endTime":2945.64,"body":"to see cracks. You're going to"},{"startTime":2943.18,"endTime":2945.64,"body":"have an unstable structure"},{"startTime":2945.7,"endTime":2948.88,"body":"getting knocked the fuck down,"},{"startTime":2945.7,"endTime":2948.88,"body":"because we live in the worst"},{"startTime":2948.88,"endTime":2952.96,"body":"place ever for their stupid"},{"startTime":2948.88,"endTime":2952.96,"body":"storms. That part, that's that's"},{"startTime":2952.96,"endTime":2955.24,"body":"the reason why there's a lot of"},{"startTime":2952.96,"endTime":2955.24,"body":"there was a lot of trees that"},{"startTime":2955.24,"endTime":2958.18,"body":"got uprooted because they were"},{"startTime":2955.24,"endTime":2958.18,"body":"planted in spaces where they"},{"startTime":2958.3,"endTime":2962.04,"body":"didn't have space, the space to"},{"startTime":2958.3,"endTime":2962.04,"body":"go down, that's correct. And"},{"startTime":2962.1,"endTime":2963.0,"body":"because of that,"},{"startTime":2964.44,"endTime":2968.76,"body":"storm comes to roots for shallow"},{"startTime":2964.44,"endTime":2968.76,"body":"and it got toppled over. Now my"},{"startTime":2968.88,"endTime":2972.66,"body":"my house, our house, has four"},{"startTime":2968.88,"endTime":2972.66,"body":"trees. It does, one on the"},{"startTime":2972.9,"endTime":2977.46,"body":"right, one on the left, behind"},{"startTime":2972.9,"endTime":2977.46,"body":"the fence, and then two big ass"},{"startTime":2977.46,"endTime":2979.74,"body":"mcnogger trees in the front"},{"startTime":2977.46,"endTime":2979.74,"body":"yard. They're my favorite."},{"startTime":2979.74,"endTime":2982.4,"body":"That's like mine too, the whole"},{"startTime":2979.74,"endTime":2982.4,"body":"and they've been there for 3040,"},{"startTime":2982.82,"endTime":2984.08,"body":"years now. Yeah,"},{"startTime":2985.1,"endTime":2989.6,"body":"I know they planted them after"},{"startTime":2985.1,"endTime":2989.6,"body":"they moved in. They moved in in"},{"startTime":2989.6,"endTime":2989.84,"body":"83"},{"startTime":2992.3,"endTime":2997.46,"body":"so I'm sorry, my house, your"},{"startTime":2992.3,"endTime":2997.46,"body":"grand your dad grew up in. No,"},{"startTime":2997.46,"endTime":2999.92,"body":"he live in. My grandparents old"},{"startTime":2997.46,"endTime":2999.92,"body":"house. My grandparents."},{"startTime":3000.0,"endTime":3002.88,"body":"Passed away, and we bought their"},{"startTime":3000.0,"endTime":3002.88,"body":"old home for for reference. And"},{"startTime":3002.88,"endTime":3005.64,"body":"so this is, this is why this"},{"startTime":3002.88,"endTime":3005.64,"body":"discussion is being had, right?"},{"startTime":3005.64,"endTime":3009.6,"body":"So, yes, they built this house,"},{"startTime":3005.64,"endTime":3009.6,"body":"and they planted these trees,"},{"startTime":3009.72,"endTime":3011.82,"body":"and they're gorgeous, and"},{"startTime":3009.72,"endTime":3011.82,"body":"they're gorgeous, and they're"},{"startTime":3011.82,"endTime":3015.24,"body":"all around you got like, Oh, two"},{"startTime":3011.82,"endTime":3015.24,"body":"oak trees, two oaks and two"},{"startTime":3015.24,"endTime":3020.24,"body":"Magnolia two magnolias. And the"},{"startTime":3015.24,"endTime":3020.24,"body":"storms come hurricane bear, only"},{"startTime":3020.24,"endTime":3023.72,"body":"thing that fell off with the"},{"startTime":3020.24,"endTime":3023.72,"body":"branches, but because them"},{"startTime":3023.72,"endTime":3028.16,"body":"joints have space grow and"},{"startTime":3023.72,"endTime":3028.16,"body":"develop roots like I don't have"},{"startTime":3028.16,"endTime":3031.04,"body":"a decent lawn because the"},{"startTime":3028.16,"endTime":3031.04,"body":"magnolia trees roots"},{"startTime":3033.38,"endTime":3033.56,"body":"like"},{"startTime":3036.02,"endTime":3040.16,"body":"I want to repack it with dirt"},{"startTime":3036.02,"endTime":3040.16,"body":"and put some side. The point is"},{"startTime":3041.96,"endTime":3042.98,"body":"they're healthy."},{"startTime":3044.26,"endTime":3049.66,"body":"They had the space to get down"},{"startTime":3044.26,"endTime":3049.66,"body":"deep and spread out, yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":3049.78,"endTime":3052.54,"body":"And our foundation into our"},{"startTime":3049.78,"endTime":3052.54,"body":"house is not even affected,"},{"startTime":3052.6,"endTime":3056.5,"body":"yeah, because there's space,"},{"startTime":3052.6,"endTime":3056.5,"body":"because there's space. Imagine"},{"startTime":3056.5,"endTime":3060.18,"body":"having land. I'm I've recently"},{"startTime":3056.5,"endTime":3060.18,"body":"finished a book,"},{"startTime":3063.24,"endTime":3066.12,"body":"the title is all black girls are"},{"startTime":3063.24,"endTime":3066.12,"body":"activists. There's a very long"},{"startTime":3066.12,"endTime":3069.42,"body":"subtitle that I can't remember."},{"startTime":3066.12,"endTime":3069.42,"body":"It's also upstairs, should I go"},{"startTime":3069.42,"endTime":3072.9,"body":"grab it? You don't have to go"},{"startTime":3069.42,"endTime":3072.9,"body":"grab it. However, it's by ebony"},{"startTime":3072.9,"endTime":3077.58,"body":"janiece. Both names don't take"},{"startTime":3072.9,"endTime":3077.58,"body":"one off, period. And the things"},{"startTime":3077.58,"endTime":3080.54,"body":"that she talks about, one of"},{"startTime":3077.58,"endTime":3080.54,"body":"them is definitely like the idea"},{"startTime":3080.54,"endTime":3082.94,"body":"that particularly as black"},{"startTime":3080.54,"endTime":3082.94,"body":"people and black women, but"},{"startTime":3082.94,"endTime":3085.52,"body":"black people, this is a thing"},{"startTime":3082.94,"endTime":3085.52,"body":"for black people in general,"},{"startTime":3085.58,"endTime":3091.22,"body":"probably bipoc as well, but like"},{"startTime":3085.58,"endTime":3091.22,"body":"that, we are taught to take up"},{"startTime":3091.28,"endTime":3092.96,"body":"as little space as possible"},{"startTime":3094.16,"endTime":3098.36,"body":"to be. And like I said, this is"},{"startTime":3094.16,"endTime":3098.36,"body":"specifically for women. Men"},{"startTime":3098.36,"endTime":3101.38,"body":"don't get quite the same"},{"startTime":3098.36,"endTime":3101.38,"body":"indoctrination, but for women"},{"startTime":3101.38,"endTime":3103.9,"body":"like to take up as little space"},{"startTime":3101.38,"endTime":3103.9,"body":"as possible, to not be"},{"startTime":3103.9,"endTime":3108.34,"body":"obtrusive, to not be loud, to"},{"startTime":3103.9,"endTime":3108.34,"body":"not like, feel your feelings."},{"startTime":3108.34,"endTime":3113.5,"body":"You. I was trained in the art of"},{"startTime":3108.34,"endTime":3113.5,"body":"emotional suppression. I am"},{"startTime":3113.5,"endTime":3117.64,"body":"quite good at it. It is"},{"startTime":3113.5,"endTime":3117.64,"body":"incredibly detrimental."},{"startTime":3119.32,"endTime":3123.9,"body":"To say my roots are bound, is an"},{"startTime":3119.32,"endTime":3123.9,"body":"understatement. Also, hashtag"},{"startTime":3123.9,"endTime":3125.58,"body":"therapy on my way,"},{"startTime":3127.2,"endTime":3130.5,"body":"on my way. Hopefully, by the"},{"startTime":3127.2,"endTime":3130.5,"body":"next season of this, I can say a"},{"startTime":3130.5,"endTime":3133.26,"body":"little bit more about that,"},{"startTime":3130.5,"endTime":3133.26,"body":"because I've actually been"},{"startTime":3133.26,"endTime":3134.46,"body":"through some however,"},{"startTime":3135.48,"endTime":3142.82,"body":"the the the way that we as a"},{"startTime":3135.48,"endTime":3142.82,"body":"people, black, FEM so on and so"},{"startTime":3142.82,"endTime":3147.2,"body":"forth, are taught to become"},{"startTime":3142.82,"endTime":3147.2,"body":"small, to not rock the boat, to"},{"startTime":3148.22,"endTime":3150.2,"body":"to assimilate, to"},{"startTime":3151.28,"endTime":3153.92,"body":"degrees that people probably"},{"startTime":3151.28,"endTime":3153.92,"body":"don't even recognize in"},{"startTime":3153.92,"endTime":3156.38,"body":"themselves, not just like code"},{"startTime":3153.92,"endTime":3156.38,"body":"switching. I mean, Code"},{"startTime":3156.38,"endTime":3159.56,"body":"switching is a big one. Yeah,"},{"startTime":3156.38,"endTime":3159.56,"body":"right, changing our names or"},{"startTime":3159.56,"endTime":3163.48,"body":"using our initials on, you know,"},{"startTime":3159.56,"endTime":3163.48,"body":"things, so that our parents even"},{"startTime":3163.6,"endTime":3167.14,"body":"our appearances, you know, the"},{"startTime":3163.6,"endTime":3167.14,"body":"whole thing about hair and all"},{"startTime":3167.14,"endTime":3169.9,"body":"of that. How do we stay safe?"},{"startTime":3167.14,"endTime":3169.9,"body":"How do we I move my hands in"},{"startTime":3169.9,"endTime":3172.96,"body":"such a way that doesn't make me"},{"startTime":3169.9,"endTime":3172.96,"body":"a threat? How do I never put my"},{"startTime":3172.96,"endTime":3175.78,"body":"hands in my pocket in the store"},{"startTime":3172.96,"endTime":3175.78,"body":"so people don't think I'm"},{"startTime":3175.78,"endTime":3179.74,"body":"stealing right? How do I"},{"startTime":3175.78,"endTime":3179.74,"body":"modulate my voice when somebody"},{"startTime":3179.74,"endTime":3182.52,"body":"has aggressed me? Yeah, and"},{"startTime":3179.74,"endTime":3182.52,"body":"they're like, they're literally"},{"startTime":3182.52,"endTime":3185.58,"body":"being aggressive, but I can't be"},{"startTime":3182.52,"endTime":3185.58,"body":"the angry black women, right? Or"},{"startTime":3185.58,"endTime":3188.04,"body":"how do I moderate my voice to"},{"startTime":3185.58,"endTime":3188.04,"body":"sound more feminine? Because"},{"startTime":3188.04,"endTime":3191.34,"body":"black and feminine are not"},{"startTime":3188.04,"endTime":3191.34,"body":"inherent in people's minds. The"},{"startTime":3191.34,"endTime":3196.38,"body":"list is so long, the way that"},{"startTime":3191.34,"endTime":3196.38,"body":"you walk the Can you turn flips"},{"startTime":3196.38,"endTime":3200.42,"body":"until you're 12 because you have"},{"startTime":3196.38,"endTime":3200.42,"body":"too big of a butt, like the list"},{"startTime":3200.42,"endTime":3206.78,"body":"of things that we are told we"},{"startTime":3200.42,"endTime":3206.78,"body":"don't get to do because we are"},{"startTime":3206.78,"endTime":3209.72,"body":"black, because we are FEM,"},{"startTime":3206.78,"endTime":3209.72,"body":"because we are queer, whatever"},{"startTime":3209.72,"endTime":3213.8,"body":"it is, the list of things you"},{"startTime":3209.72,"endTime":3213.8,"body":"don't get to do, sometimes just"},{"startTime":3213.8,"endTime":3216.86,"body":"to be safe and sometimes just to"},{"startTime":3213.8,"endTime":3216.86,"body":"not make other people air quotes"},{"startTime":3216.86,"endTime":3217.7,"body":"uncomfortable"},{"startTime":3219.08,"endTime":3223.36,"body":"is ridiculous, and you get bound"},{"startTime":3219.08,"endTime":3223.36,"body":"up, and you carry a lot of that"},{"startTime":3223.36,"endTime":3227.14,"body":"a lot of times, and we spend a"},{"startTime":3223.36,"endTime":3227.14,"body":"lot of time unpacking that,"},{"startTime":3227.26,"endTime":3228.28,"body":"trying to"},{"startTime":3229.36,"endTime":3232.36,"body":"uproot those ideas that made us"},{"startTime":3229.36,"endTime":3232.36,"body":"think we had to be less of"},{"startTime":3232.36,"endTime":3234.1,"body":"ourselves than we actually are."},{"startTime":3235.36,"endTime":3238.9,"body":"And once you start to do that"},{"startTime":3235.36,"endTime":3238.9,"body":"work, yeah, it's hard, it's"},{"startTime":3238.9,"endTime":3242.1,"body":"dark, it's uncomfortable and"},{"startTime":3238.9,"endTime":3242.1,"body":"it's scary, but when you start"},{"startTime":3242.1,"endTime":3245.52,"body":"coming out on the other side,"},{"startTime":3242.1,"endTime":3245.52,"body":"it's like, oh, oh, my God, I've"},{"startTime":3245.52,"endTime":3249.12,"body":"broken through the dirt. I can"},{"startTime":3245.52,"endTime":3249.12,"body":"see the sun. Look. There is air"},{"startTime":3249.12,"endTime":3253.62,"body":"out here, you know. But it takes"},{"startTime":3249.12,"endTime":3253.62,"body":"it takes work, and it's scary,"},{"startTime":3253.8,"endTime":3257.16,"body":"but as long as you're clinging"},{"startTime":3253.8,"endTime":3257.16,"body":"to like, I know I'm safe over"},{"startTime":3257.16,"endTime":3260.48,"body":"here. I know this. I know that"},{"startTime":3257.16,"endTime":3260.48,"body":"you know nothing, because you"},{"startTime":3260.48,"endTime":3264.26,"body":"can literally get a pot of water"},{"startTime":3260.48,"endTime":3264.26,"body":"and ask somebody not to shoot"},{"startTime":3264.26,"endTime":3266.48,"body":"you, and they'll do it anyway."},{"startTime":3264.26,"endTime":3266.48,"body":"Yep, you might as well be"},{"startTime":3266.48,"endTime":3270.2,"body":"yourself. Well, and that's it,"},{"startTime":3266.48,"endTime":3270.2,"body":"like it's so I remember, uh, so"},{"startTime":3270.2,"endTime":3272.9,"body":"for context, I don't know,"},{"startTime":3270.2,"endTime":3272.9,"body":"around the age of 30, I went"},{"startTime":3272.9,"endTime":3277.04,"body":"through a divorce, and that"},{"startTime":3272.9,"endTime":3277.04,"body":"year, my biggest takeaway y'all,"},{"startTime":3277.04,"endTime":3279.92,"body":"30 was one of my favorite ages."},{"startTime":3277.04,"endTime":3279.92,"body":"It was a tough year, but it was"},{"startTime":3279.92,"endTime":3283.24,"body":"one of my favorite ages, because"},{"startTime":3279.92,"endTime":3283.24,"body":"what I learned that year is, I"},{"startTime":3283.24,"endTime":3287.86,"body":"don't know shit. I don't know"},{"startTime":3283.24,"endTime":3287.86,"body":"anything, even the things I"},{"startTime":3287.86,"endTime":3292.06,"body":"thought I knew about myself to"},{"startTime":3287.86,"endTime":3292.06,"body":"be true, like proven to not be"},{"startTime":3292.06,"endTime":3296.32,"body":"true. And I was just like, well,"},{"startTime":3292.06,"endTime":3296.32,"body":"girl, if you don't know things"},{"startTime":3296.8,"endTime":3298.24,"body":"that, what do you know?"},{"startTime":3299.44,"endTime":3299.92,"body":"So I was."},{"startTime":3300.0,"endTime":3305.1,"body":"Like, well, what happens when"},{"startTime":3300.0,"endTime":3305.1,"body":"you don't know anything, then I"},{"startTime":3305.1,"endTime":3308.88,"body":"have the freedom to learn"},{"startTime":3305.1,"endTime":3308.88,"body":"everything, right? And so then,"},{"startTime":3308.88,"endTime":3311.4,"body":"like that started me down, like"},{"startTime":3308.88,"endTime":3311.4,"body":"my whole, like, spiritual"},{"startTime":3311.4,"endTime":3314.28,"body":"journey, yeah, right? Of being"},{"startTime":3311.4,"endTime":3314.28,"body":"like that, I will say, of all"},{"startTime":3314.28,"endTime":3319.02,"body":"the things to let go, the way I"},{"startTime":3314.28,"endTime":3319.02,"body":"conceived of my spiritual"},{"startTime":3319.02,"endTime":3323.3,"body":"identity was the hardest,"},{"startTime":3319.02,"endTime":3323.3,"body":"because, well, when a hell"},{"startTime":3323.3,"endTime":3327.14,"body":"exists to put you in, yeah,"},{"startTime":3323.3,"endTime":3327.14,"body":"eternal damnation is fucking"},{"startTime":3327.14,"endTime":3328.22,"body":"terrifying, right?"},{"startTime":3329.24,"endTime":3330.02,"body":"Motivated."},{"startTime":3331.04,"endTime":3333.14,"body":"So, like, there are journal"},{"startTime":3331.04,"endTime":3333.14,"body":"entries. I'm also a lifelong"},{"startTime":3333.14,"endTime":3336.56,"body":"journaler, and so I have journal"},{"startTime":3333.14,"endTime":3336.56,"body":"entries like, way back to, like,"},{"startTime":3336.62,"endTime":3339.8,"body":"third grade, I think because"},{"startTime":3336.62,"endTime":3339.8,"body":"somebody threw away my Lisa"},{"startTime":3339.8,"endTime":3343.84,"body":"Frank, and I don't know who, but"},{"startTime":3339.8,"endTime":3343.84,"body":"we need to fight anyhow, but,"},{"startTime":3344.2,"endTime":3347.8,"body":"but, like, I remember reading"},{"startTime":3344.2,"endTime":3347.8,"body":"journal entries from that era,"},{"startTime":3347.8,"endTime":3351.82,"body":"and it was like, I'm literally"},{"startTime":3347.8,"endTime":3351.82,"body":"writing to God, like, God,"},{"startTime":3351.82,"endTime":3354.94,"body":"here's what I'm letting go."},{"startTime":3351.82,"endTime":3354.94,"body":"Please don't let me go to hell."},{"startTime":3355.84,"endTime":3358.06,"body":"God, I would like to try this."},{"startTime":3355.84,"endTime":3358.06,"body":"Please don't let me go to hell."},{"startTime":3358.06,"endTime":3361.08,"body":"Like, if I'm wrong, just steer"},{"startTime":3358.06,"endTime":3361.08,"body":"me back and like at this point,"},{"startTime":3361.08,"endTime":3363.84,"body":"I will trust you to do so. But"},{"startTime":3361.08,"endTime":3363.84,"body":"what I do know is I can no"},{"startTime":3363.84,"endTime":3367.62,"body":"longer function under this set"},{"startTime":3363.84,"endTime":3367.62,"body":"of rules, because this set of"},{"startTime":3367.62,"endTime":3373.92,"body":"rules is against who I am in so"},{"startTime":3367.62,"endTime":3373.92,"body":"many ways. And like, if you made"},{"startTime":3373.92,"endTime":3377.16,"body":"me and I actually don't, got no"},{"startTime":3373.92,"endTime":3377.16,"body":"beef with me. And I got, like at"},{"startTime":3377.16,"endTime":3380.48,"body":"the time, I had so many other"},{"startTime":3377.16,"endTime":3380.48,"body":"beefs with myself, but not the"},{"startTime":3380.48,"endTime":3384.2,"body":"in these particular ways, like"},{"startTime":3380.48,"endTime":3384.2,"body":"help guide. And what happened"},{"startTime":3384.2,"endTime":3388.82,"body":"was, when I let go, it wasn't"},{"startTime":3384.2,"endTime":3388.82,"body":"God putting the rules on me, it"},{"startTime":3388.82,"endTime":3391.94,"body":"was me holding on to the rules"},{"startTime":3388.82,"endTime":3391.94,"body":"that everybody else had put on"},{"startTime":3391.94,"endTime":3395.48,"body":"me. And so when I let that go,"},{"startTime":3391.94,"endTime":3395.48,"body":"it was And y'all, when I say"},{"startTime":3395.48,"endTime":3397.4,"body":"terrifying, like I"},{"startTime":3399.68,"endTime":3402.46,"body":"it was really scary, because"},{"startTime":3399.68,"endTime":3402.46,"body":"we're talking about the fate of"},{"startTime":3402.46,"endTime":3405.58,"body":"my soul, right, right? Like, who"},{"startTime":3402.46,"endTime":3405.58,"body":"gives a shit about this other"},{"startTime":3405.58,"endTime":3408.58,"body":"stuff that's material when the"},{"startTime":3405.58,"endTime":3408.58,"body":"fate of your soul is at risk?"},{"startTime":3408.58,"endTime":3411.1,"body":"But what I learned is, it turns"},{"startTime":3408.58,"endTime":3411.1,"body":"out, it was not that at risk,"},{"startTime":3411.1,"endTime":3414.1,"body":"that as I thought it was right,"},{"startTime":3411.1,"endTime":3414.1,"body":"and like, God can hold my"},{"startTime":3414.1,"endTime":3417.58,"body":"questioning, God can hold my"},{"startTime":3414.1,"endTime":3417.58,"body":"doubt, God can hold my"},{"startTime":3417.58,"endTime":3420.42,"body":"uncertainty right. And honestly"},{"startTime":3417.58,"endTime":3420.42,"body":"thrives there."},{"startTime":3421.86,"endTime":3424.86,"body":"Man, that does the best work in"},{"startTime":3421.86,"endTime":3424.86,"body":"that, in that realm,"},{"startTime":3427.08,"endTime":3428.82,"body":"okay? That registered, that"},{"startTime":3427.08,"endTime":3428.82,"body":"resonated,"},{"startTime":3430.68,"endTime":3434.28,"body":"right? We still give references"},{"startTime":3430.68,"endTime":3434.28,"body":"like we we just talked. It's a"},{"startTime":3434.28,"endTime":3436.86,"body":"flexible word, yeah? It's a"},{"startTime":3434.28,"endTime":3436.86,"body":"flexible word. It's a flexible"},{"startTime":3436.86,"endTime":3440.3,"body":"so, but everybody can't use it."},{"startTime":3436.86,"endTime":3440.3,"body":"Girl, I was about to say, let me"},{"startTime":3440.3,"endTime":3442.76,"body":"be clear. I'm about, I was about"},{"startTime":3440.3,"endTime":3442.76,"body":"to say it."},{"startTime":3443.78,"endTime":3448.16,"body":"So the idea that you mentioned"},{"startTime":3443.78,"endTime":3448.16,"body":"about"},{"startTime":3449.24,"endTime":3452.48,"body":"God writing to God and saying,"},{"startTime":3449.24,"endTime":3452.48,"body":"Hey, I gotta let these go. These"},{"startTime":3452.48,"endTime":3456.2,"body":"are let me go. And so that I"},{"startTime":3452.48,"endTime":3456.2,"body":"went down a similar line of"},{"startTime":3456.2,"endTime":3459.8,"body":"thinking that, like early years"},{"startTime":3456.2,"endTime":3459.8,"body":"of my marriage, I told"},{"startTime":3460.58,"endTime":3465.04,"body":"Christian. I was like, Look, I"},{"startTime":3460.58,"endTime":3465.04,"body":"can't be in relationship with a"},{"startTime":3465.04,"endTime":3469.24,"body":"God that in the back of my head"},{"startTime":3465.04,"endTime":3469.24,"body":"wants to kill me, you know, yep,"},{"startTime":3469.24,"endTime":3472.3,"body":"it's like, I don't, yeah, I"},{"startTime":3469.24,"endTime":3472.3,"body":"can't reconcile the two. I"},{"startTime":3472.3,"endTime":3475.18,"body":"understand. This is my fucking"},{"startTime":3472.3,"endTime":3475.18,"body":"theology. I've been preaching"},{"startTime":3475.18,"endTime":3480.54,"body":"since I was 16. I'm church boy."},{"startTime":3475.18,"endTime":3480.54,"body":"Yeah, all the way I get it. But"},{"startTime":3480.54,"endTime":3484.26,"body":"I started to think about this"},{"startTime":3480.54,"endTime":3484.26,"body":"shit that sounds very Stockholm"},{"startTime":3484.26,"endTime":3489.06,"body":"Syndrome is, yes, it sounds very"},{"startTime":3484.26,"endTime":3489.06,"body":"traumatic, and I get it. I don't"},{"startTime":3489.06,"endTime":3492.78,"body":"care how you legalize. A lawyer"},{"startTime":3489.06,"endTime":3492.78,"body":"would talk about you. I don't"},{"startTime":3492.78,"endTime":3496.56,"body":"see hell. You see yourself in"},{"startTime":3492.78,"endTime":3496.56,"body":"hell. Why is it there? Why is"},{"startTime":3496.56,"endTime":3502.1,"body":"who maintains it? Who keeps it?"},{"startTime":3496.56,"endTime":3502.1,"body":"Who powers hell? Who powers him,"},{"startTime":3502.1,"endTime":3506.84,"body":"who pays his light bills, who"},{"startTime":3502.1,"endTime":3506.84,"body":"keeps this shit on, who? And so"},{"startTime":3507.14,"endTime":3510.86,"body":"you want to say, Satan. Okay,"},{"startTime":3507.14,"endTime":3510.86,"body":"then Satan is an equal power to"},{"startTime":3510.86,"endTime":3514.64,"body":"God. Like, what are we doing?"},{"startTime":3510.86,"endTime":3514.64,"body":"This is the conversation. So, so"},{"startTime":3514.76,"endTime":3518.24,"body":"again, the narrative started"},{"startTime":3514.76,"endTime":3518.24,"body":"unraveling. Then, like, you"},{"startTime":3518.24,"endTime":3521.14,"body":"know, start thinking through."},{"startTime":3518.24,"endTime":3521.14,"body":"And again, it's and it's like,"},{"startTime":3521.74,"endTime":3525.46,"body":"and I haven't gone to the to the"},{"startTime":3521.74,"endTime":3525.46,"body":"lens of, like to be an atheist,"},{"startTime":3525.52,"endTime":3528.58,"body":"yeah, but it's definitely put me"},{"startTime":3525.52,"endTime":3528.58,"body":"in a more necessary, no, it's"},{"startTime":3528.58,"endTime":3528.82,"body":"not"},{"startTime":3531.28,"endTime":3535.24,"body":"God. God exists. He's done"},{"startTime":3531.28,"endTime":3535.24,"body":"enough. The stories about him"},{"startTime":3535.48,"endTime":3539.74,"body":"can be questioned. But him,"},{"startTime":3535.48,"endTime":3539.74,"body":"right? Them in particular, for"},{"startTime":3539.74,"endTime":3542.4,"body":"me, that's not, not on the"},{"startTime":3539.74,"endTime":3542.4,"body":"table. Yeah, big, higher power,"},{"startTime":3542.46,"endTime":3542.76,"body":"energy,"},{"startTime":3543.96,"endTime":3549.24,"body":"not on the table, if you like."},{"startTime":3543.96,"endTime":3549.24,"body":"Again, if you're atheist in"},{"startTime":3549.24,"endTime":3552.78,"body":"here, we would love you and we"},{"startTime":3549.24,"endTime":3552.78,"body":"respect you. You're welcome. I"},{"startTime":3552.78,"endTime":3555.54,"body":"don't have no beef with you. No."},{"startTime":3552.78,"endTime":3555.54,"body":"Everybody has to do their own"},{"startTime":3555.54,"endTime":3558.48,"body":"journey. Everybody has to do"},{"startTime":3555.54,"endTime":3558.48,"body":"their own study. And if you have"},{"startTime":3558.48,"endTime":3562.88,"body":"reason to the point that there,"},{"startTime":3558.48,"endTime":3562.88,"body":"that God does not have that the"},{"startTime":3562.94,"endTime":3566.3,"body":"idea of God has no relevance. Or"},{"startTime":3562.94,"endTime":3566.3,"body":"resident, you know, whatever,"},{"startTime":3566.3,"endTime":3569.6,"body":"President, God's cool, but you"},{"startTime":3566.3,"endTime":3569.6,"body":"do. I would also like invite you"},{"startTime":3569.6,"endTime":3572.9,"body":"to be opening your certainty as"},{"startTime":3569.6,"endTime":3572.9,"body":"well, right? We all can be open,"},{"startTime":3572.9,"endTime":3575.6,"body":"not to, like, change your mind,"},{"startTime":3572.9,"endTime":3575.6,"body":"but to answer questions, baby."},{"startTime":3575.6,"endTime":3579.44,"body":"Why is it dark? It just shifted"},{"startTime":3575.6,"endTime":3579.44,"body":"for free. It was like, turned"},{"startTime":3579.44,"endTime":3582.7,"body":"off the light. He's about to"},{"startTime":3579.44,"endTime":3582.7,"body":"run. Who turned I don't need no"},{"startTime":3582.7,"endTime":3585.76,"body":"more rain. Jesus, no, that's"},{"startTime":3582.7,"endTime":3585.76,"body":"real. I mean, don't say that,"},{"startTime":3585.76,"endTime":3587.8,"body":"though, because normally we in a"},{"startTime":3585.76,"endTime":3587.8,"body":"drought in the summer. So yeah,"},{"startTime":3587.98,"endTime":3592.12,"body":"we ain't in no dryer. I know we"},{"startTime":3587.98,"endTime":3592.12,"body":"got so much water. Who else"},{"startTime":3592.12,"endTime":3595.96,"body":"needs some water? We got extra."},{"startTime":3592.12,"endTime":3595.96,"body":"I will trade you water for"},{"startTime":3595.96,"endTime":3598.24,"body":"stable electric grid."},{"startTime":3599.26,"endTime":3599.56,"body":"Atheists."},{"startTime":3600.0,"endTime":3603.96,"body":"Y'all also, sorry, atheism, also"},{"startTime":3600.0,"endTime":3603.96,"body":"neurodivergence. It's a lot of"},{"startTime":3603.96,"endTime":3606.36,"body":"it in this room, and so you"},{"startTime":3603.96,"endTime":3606.36,"body":"know, just we're gonna do our"},{"startTime":3606.36,"endTime":3609.96,"body":"best to stay on track. But just"},{"startTime":3606.36,"endTime":3609.96,"body":"know, yeah, so we were talking"},{"startTime":3609.96,"endTime":3613.32,"body":"about like, we want to invite"},{"startTime":3609.96,"endTime":3613.32,"body":"everybody in the space to"},{"startTime":3613.32,"endTime":3619.38,"body":"release the certainties that"},{"startTime":3613.32,"endTime":3619.38,"body":"they have around God, whether he"},{"startTime":3619.38,"endTime":3624.08,"body":"exists, doesn't exist. What kind"},{"startTime":3619.38,"endTime":3624.08,"body":"of faith practice is the right"},{"startTime":3624.08,"endTime":3625.52,"body":"one? Air quotes again, yeah, um,"},{"startTime":3627.02,"endTime":3629.84,"body":"that's what we want this space"},{"startTime":3627.02,"endTime":3629.84,"body":"to be. Is a place where we can"},{"startTime":3629.84,"endTime":3633.32,"body":"have these conversations, and it"},{"startTime":3629.84,"endTime":3633.32,"body":"doesn't turn into people"},{"startTime":3633.32,"endTime":3636.5,"body":"yelling, you know, because right"},{"startTime":3633.32,"endTime":3636.5,"body":"My way is the best way. Like,"},{"startTime":3636.86,"endTime":3639.44,"body":"I'm not coming at you with that"},{"startTime":3636.86,"endTime":3639.44,"body":"energy. I'm just going to speak"},{"startTime":3639.44,"endTime":3643.66,"body":"from like. So we, all of us, are"},{"startTime":3639.44,"endTime":3643.66,"body":"speaking from our experiences"},{"startTime":3643.66,"endTime":3646.96,"body":"and our stories, and hopefully"},{"startTime":3643.66,"endTime":3646.96,"body":"you'll be at some parts of that"},{"startTime":3646.96,"endTime":3650.26,"body":"will resonate with you in ways"},{"startTime":3646.96,"endTime":3650.26,"body":"that help you."},{"startTime":3651.52,"endTime":3656.26,"body":"And again, being in America, we"},{"startTime":3651.52,"endTime":3656.26,"body":"get this tendency to want to"},{"startTime":3656.26,"endTime":3658.66,"body":"think that that some one way,"},{"startTime":3659.68,"endTime":3664.26,"body":"that one way has to be the best"},{"startTime":3659.68,"endTime":3664.26,"body":"way, right? And and it has to be"},{"startTime":3664.26,"endTime":3667.62,"body":"the best way for everybody,"},{"startTime":3664.26,"endTime":3667.62,"body":"unilateral that don't even make"},{"startTime":3667.62,"endTime":3668.58,"body":"sense. It doesn't make"},{"startTime":3669.6,"endTime":3671.88,"body":"like, I want y'all to listen to"},{"startTime":3669.6,"endTime":3671.88,"body":"that back. That don't make"},{"startTime":3671.88,"endTime":3674.4,"body":"sense. It don't make no sense."},{"startTime":3671.88,"endTime":3674.4,"body":"You can have a sibling and"},{"startTime":3674.4,"endTime":3676.98,"body":"what's best for your sibling and"},{"startTime":3674.4,"endTime":3676.98,"body":"what's best for you. And y'all"},{"startTime":3676.98,"endTime":3679.32,"body":"grow up in the same house. There"},{"startTime":3676.98,"endTime":3679.32,"body":"are twins who can't tolerate"},{"startTime":3679.32,"endTime":3683.9,"body":"doing the same thing. Hello."},{"startTime":3679.32,"endTime":3683.9,"body":"Like I put in the same reverent"},{"startTime":3684.14,"endTime":3686.54,"body":"and all of that, in the same"},{"startTime":3684.14,"endTime":3686.54,"body":"clothes, in the same clothes,"},{"startTime":3686.54,"endTime":3691.04,"body":"got the same parents, yeah, they"},{"startTime":3686.54,"endTime":3691.04,"body":"came into the world at the same"},{"startTime":3691.04,"endTime":3693.86,"body":"time, relatively, right,"},{"startTime":3691.04,"endTime":3693.86,"body":"compared to the rest of us for"},{"startTime":3693.86,"endTime":3697.64,"body":"app, absolutely right. So same,"},{"startTime":3693.86,"endTime":3697.64,"body":"general roommates for real,"},{"startTime":3697.64,"endTime":3701.14,"body":"yeah? And they got, they're not"},{"startTime":3697.64,"endTime":3701.14,"body":"the same, um, so, you know, so"},{"startTime":3701.14,"endTime":3704.26,"body":"why we gotta all we don't need"},{"startTime":3701.14,"endTime":3704.26,"body":"to one size fits all anything"},{"startTime":3704.26,"endTime":3707.74,"body":"here. Yeah, Chris, you was"},{"startTime":3704.26,"endTime":3707.74,"body":"talking about the atheist, yeah,"},{"startTime":3707.74,"endTime":3710.92,"body":"I gave them an invitation to be"},{"startTime":3707.74,"endTime":3710.92,"body":"open, right, right, just right."},{"startTime":3710.92,"endTime":3715.6,"body":"You said to be open. And again,"},{"startTime":3710.92,"endTime":3715.6,"body":"that's the point of it. Is that"},{"startTime":3715.72,"endTime":3718.48,"body":"for me, when I was in my"},{"startTime":3715.72,"endTime":3718.48,"body":"journey, that's what we're"},{"startTime":3718.48,"endTime":3719.86,"body":"talking about, questioning"},{"startTime":3720.88,"endTime":3724.44,"body":"my relationship to God and what"},{"startTime":3720.88,"endTime":3724.44,"body":"is acceptable and what is not"},{"startTime":3724.44,"endTime":3729.54,"body":"acceptable for us as a unit to"},{"startTime":3724.44,"endTime":3729.54,"body":"thrive, me and me and God in"},{"startTime":3729.54,"endTime":3732.3,"body":"particular, hell was just like,"},{"startTime":3729.54,"endTime":3732.3,"body":"you know, I don't need to be"},{"startTime":3732.3,"endTime":3736.02,"body":"scared there. Yeah, I don't. I"},{"startTime":3732.3,"endTime":3736.02,"body":"know I've done some things or"},{"startTime":3736.02,"endTime":3739.68,"body":"whatever, and when I say I've"},{"startTime":3736.02,"endTime":3739.68,"body":"I've been human, I'm gonna say"},{"startTime":3739.68,"endTime":3741.14,"body":"that I've committed"},{"startTime":3742.4,"endTime":3747.5,"body":"no crimes but the law. It was"},{"startTime":3742.4,"endTime":3747.5,"body":"nothing but of the soul, of the"},{"startTime":3747.5,"endTime":3749.0,"body":"soul. Sometimes"},{"startTime":3753.68,"endTime":3756.02,"body":"she literally, I say this all"},{"startTime":3753.68,"endTime":3756.02,"body":"the time. She married her best"},{"startTime":3756.02,"endTime":3759.14,"body":"friend in more than wasted one."},{"startTime":3756.02,"endTime":3759.14,"body":"I did. They're they're like,"},{"startTime":3759.14,"endTime":3763.6,"body":"eerily similar, yeah, sometimes"},{"startTime":3759.14,"endTime":3763.6,"body":"and I'm like, Good god, I"},{"startTime":3763.6,"endTime":3767.5,"body":"really. I was like, I need a"},{"startTime":3763.6,"endTime":3767.5,"body":"male Whitney."},{"startTime":3771.52,"endTime":3771.88,"body":"Found him."},{"startTime":3775.84,"endTime":3776.44,"body":"Found him."},{"startTime":3778.78,"endTime":3782.76,"body":"Yeah. So hold her on the things,"},{"startTime":3778.78,"endTime":3782.76,"body":"feel free to not feel free to"},{"startTime":3783.0,"endTime":3787.38,"body":"explore that, especially when"},{"startTime":3783.0,"endTime":3787.38,"body":"the story that you've been told"},{"startTime":3787.38,"endTime":3790.26,"body":"is not working for you in your"},{"startTime":3787.38,"endTime":3790.26,"body":"life, that part you need to be"},{"startTime":3790.26,"endTime":3793.68,"body":"able to tweak that. Your your"},{"startTime":3790.26,"endTime":3793.68,"body":"story is still being told, your"},{"startTime":3793.68,"endTime":3797.88,"body":"pen is still to the paper. You"},{"startTime":3793.68,"endTime":3797.88,"body":"can write a new chapter on"},{"startTime":3797.88,"endTime":3802.94,"body":"everything, including God. All"},{"startTime":3797.88,"endTime":3802.94,"body":"of us have ideas about God"},{"startTime":3804.62,"endTime":3808.52,"body":"that we need to shape and shift."},{"startTime":3804.62,"endTime":3808.52,"body":"And part of being in this"},{"startTime":3808.52,"endTime":3812.78,"body":"experience, and part of being"},{"startTime":3808.52,"endTime":3812.78,"body":"here is to explore and"},{"startTime":3812.78,"endTime":3817.94,"body":"experience God in new ways, and"},{"startTime":3812.78,"endTime":3817.94,"body":"not to have arrived to the point"},{"startTime":3817.94,"endTime":3822.82,"body":"to where I found a true way, and"},{"startTime":3817.94,"endTime":3822.82,"body":"there's no deviation from this"},{"startTime":3822.82,"endTime":3828.16,"body":"script, yeah, nobody. No, not"},{"startTime":3822.82,"endTime":3828.16,"body":"even in Hollywood, do they? Are"},{"startTime":3828.16,"endTime":3830.5,"body":"they committed to a script like"},{"startTime":3828.16,"endTime":3830.5,"body":"that, that they that they feel"},{"startTime":3830.5,"endTime":3833.86,"body":"like they can't change it? Yeah,"},{"startTime":3830.5,"endTime":3833.86,"body":"they're writing off in a minute."},{"startTime":3833.86,"endTime":3835.78,"body":"Absolutely. Rewrites are"},{"startTime":3833.86,"endTime":3835.78,"body":"happening all the time."},{"startTime":3836.86,"endTime":3841.14,"body":"People go in real time. So you"},{"startTime":3836.86,"endTime":3841.14,"body":"know? So you know, nothing is"},{"startTime":3841.14,"endTime":3842.82,"body":"for certain, yeah,"},{"startTime":3844.38,"endTime":3847.74,"body":"and that's good that. That"},{"startTime":3844.38,"endTime":3847.74,"body":"should be good news."},{"startTime":3849.84,"endTime":3852.96,"body":"It should be good news. Nothing"},{"startTime":3849.84,"endTime":3852.96,"body":"is for certain, because you"},{"startTime":3852.96,"endTime":3856.2,"body":"don't always feel that. I think"},{"startTime":3852.96,"endTime":3856.2,"body":"it actually induces a lot of"},{"startTime":3856.2,"endTime":3859.08,"body":"anxiety for people, right?"},{"startTime":3856.2,"endTime":3859.08,"body":"Because if nothing's for"},{"startTime":3859.08,"endTime":3863.0,"body":"certain, what can I stand on?"},{"startTime":3859.08,"endTime":3863.0,"body":"And I think this is stand on"},{"startTime":3863.0,"endTime":3866.24,"body":"business period, stand on the"},{"startTime":3863.0,"endTime":3866.24,"body":"Word."},{"startTime":3867.74,"endTime":3870.92,"body":"But I think there are things"},{"startTime":3867.74,"endTime":3870.92,"body":"this is why it's so important to"},{"startTime":3870.92,"endTime":3875.42,"body":"become grounded in self, and not"},{"startTime":3870.92,"endTime":3875.42,"body":"just self, but like whatever"},{"startTime":3875.42,"endTime":3878.48,"body":"your higher power, you can call"},{"startTime":3875.42,"endTime":3878.48,"body":"it God. You can call it creator."},{"startTime":3878.48,"endTime":3881.44,"body":"You can call it universe. You"},{"startTime":3878.48,"endTime":3881.44,"body":"could call it big. I don't care."},{"startTime":3883.12,"endTime":3886.9,"body":"But you know, like staying"},{"startTime":3883.12,"endTime":3886.9,"body":"grounded in knowing that, like"},{"startTime":3887.14,"endTime":3891.76,"body":"you are here on purpose, all"},{"startTime":3887.14,"endTime":3891.76,"body":"will be well, all things are"},{"startTime":3891.76,"endTime":3895.78,"body":"working towards your good, and"},{"startTime":3891.76,"endTime":3895.78,"body":"that you've got you right. And I"},{"startTime":3895.78,"endTime":3898.3,"body":"think that's important. This is"},{"startTime":3895.78,"endTime":3898.3,"body":"why it's important to do our"},{"startTime":3898.3,"endTime":3899.92,"body":"inner work so that you can."},{"startTime":3900.0,"endTime":3903.9,"body":"Be in a place where you're like,"},{"startTime":3900.0,"endTime":3903.9,"body":"oh, no, no one else has to save"},{"startTime":3903.9,"endTime":3908.82,"body":"me. I don't need a sky daddy and"},{"startTime":3903.9,"endTime":3908.82,"body":"a cape because that that is not"},{"startTime":3908.82,"endTime":3911.82,"body":"the form of God in which I"},{"startTime":3908.82,"endTime":3911.82,"body":"believe, right? Like, that's not"},{"startTime":3911.82,"endTime":3914.76,"body":"how God necessarily functions"},{"startTime":3911.82,"endTime":3914.76,"body":"for me. Yeah, it's not a sky"},{"startTime":3914.76,"endTime":3918.42,"body":"daddy and a cape or, like, you"},{"startTime":3914.76,"endTime":3918.42,"body":"know, on a white horse. Yeah."},{"startTime":3918.48,"endTime":3922.1,"body":"God is not some outside entity,"},{"startTime":3918.48,"endTime":3922.1,"body":"right? It's not connected to me,"},{"startTime":3922.1,"endTime":3925.46,"body":"right? And so, like, if God is"},{"startTime":3922.1,"endTime":3925.46,"body":"in you, which, if you"},{"startTime":3925.46,"endTime":3927.86,"body":"traditional Christian, I'm just"},{"startTime":3925.46,"endTime":3927.86,"body":"gonna say that's the holy"},{"startTime":3927.86,"endTime":3933.56,"body":"Sprite, okay? It's on the inside"},{"startTime":3927.86,"endTime":3933.56,"body":"at work. Yes, you know. And so,"},{"startTime":3933.62,"endTime":3938.24,"body":"like it is in you. And so trust,"},{"startTime":3933.62,"endTime":3938.24,"body":"it's a matter of, like, this is"},{"startTime":3938.24,"endTime":3943.36,"body":"Faith, this is Faith, this is"},{"startTime":3938.24,"endTime":3943.36,"body":"trust. And it is even though,"},{"startTime":3943.36,"endTime":3945.64,"body":"what is it? Faith is the subject"},{"startTime":3943.36,"endTime":3945.64,"body":"of things hoped for, the"},{"startTime":3946.9,"endTime":3951.28,"body":"evidence of things. And so like,"},{"startTime":3946.9,"endTime":3951.28,"body":"Yeah, you can't see it, but it's"},{"startTime":3951.28,"endTime":3955.96,"body":"that. It's a deep, settled inner"},{"startTime":3951.28,"endTime":3955.96,"body":"knowing that, like, all this"},{"startTime":3955.96,"endTime":3960.9,"body":"shit could crumble and I'm gonna"},{"startTime":3955.96,"endTime":3960.9,"body":"be good. There's this imagery"},{"startTime":3960.9,"endTime":3965.52,"body":"that I liked in the Marvel movie"},{"startTime":3960.9,"endTime":3965.52,"body":"with the X Men. And there's this"},{"startTime":3965.52,"endTime":3971.64,"body":"scene where Magneto is trying to"},{"startTime":3965.52,"endTime":3971.64,"body":"get from one part to Magneto is"},{"startTime":3971.64,"endTime":3974.16,"body":"one of the villains. Magneto is"},{"startTime":3971.64,"endTime":3974.16,"body":"one of the villains."},{"startTime":3975.42,"endTime":3975.6,"body":"And"},{"startTime":3976.92,"endTime":3981.56,"body":"so magnetos power, mutant"},{"startTime":3976.92,"endTime":3981.56,"body":"superpower, is to like, he can"},{"startTime":3981.56,"endTime":3984.86,"body":"attract metal. Oh, because he's"},{"startTime":3981.56,"endTime":3984.86,"body":"magnetic, because he's making,"},{"startTime":3984.86,"endTime":3989.0,"body":"that's what our names are, big,"},{"startTime":3984.86,"endTime":3989.0,"body":"very important. And this is who,"},{"startTime":3989.0,"endTime":3992.06,"body":"who plays Magneto. It doesn't"},{"startTime":3989.0,"endTime":3992.06,"body":"matter. Keep going. I'm sorry,"},{"startTime":3992.12,"endTime":3996.26,"body":"going on. Going on. Anyway,"},{"startTime":3992.12,"endTime":3996.26,"body":"Magneto, yes, Magneto. And so"},{"startTime":3996.26,"endTime":4000.6,"body":"he's, he's going, he finally"},{"startTime":3996.26,"endTime":4000.6,"body":"breaking out of, broken out of"},{"startTime":4000.6,"endTime":4003.78,"body":"prison because someone handed"},{"startTime":4000.6,"endTime":4003.78,"body":"him a key, whatever, so he can"},{"startTime":4004.5,"endTime":4007.98,"body":"manipulate a small piece of"},{"startTime":4004.5,"endTime":4007.98,"body":"metal. I think. Okay, breaks out"},{"startTime":4007.98,"endTime":4010.68,"body":"of prison. Wait, they handed it"},{"startTime":4007.98,"endTime":4010.68,"body":"to him. He couldn't just draw it"},{"startTime":4010.68,"endTime":4013.44,"body":"to himself. No, no. So they,"},{"startTime":4010.68,"endTime":4013.44,"body":"they basically enclosed him in"},{"startTime":4013.44,"endTime":4014.22,"body":"plastic"},{"startTime":4016.62,"endTime":4018.78,"body":"so there was nothing that he"},{"startTime":4016.62,"endTime":4018.78,"body":"could use."},{"startTime":4019.92,"endTime":4022.64,"body":"It's, it makes sense, if you"},{"startTime":4019.92,"endTime":4022.64,"body":"watch the movies,"},{"startTime":4025.52,"endTime":4028.4,"body":"can't believe it's superhero and"},{"startTime":4025.52,"endTime":4028.4,"body":"suspend disbelief. But you can't"},{"startTime":4028.4,"endTime":4029.84,"body":"suspend it in your own life,"},{"startTime":4032.06,"endTime":4034.46,"body":"you know? Sorry, somebody digs"},{"startTime":4032.06,"endTime":4034.46,"body":"through"},{"startTime":4037.88,"endTime":4040.78,"body":"the plastic somehow hands him"},{"startTime":4037.88,"endTime":4040.78,"body":"this tiny metal key that he that"},{"startTime":4040.78,"endTime":4046.0,"body":"he couldn't attract because he"},{"startTime":4040.78,"endTime":4046.0,"body":"was in plastic hurt because it"},{"startTime":4046.0,"endTime":4049.54,"body":"was far away. He gets out of"},{"startTime":4046.0,"endTime":4049.54,"body":"prison. Okay? Magnets fail."},{"startTime":4050.38,"endTime":4053.38,"body":"Magnetic fields. There's still"},{"startTime":4050.38,"endTime":4053.38,"body":"science on that. Yeah, no, that"},{"startTime":4053.38,"endTime":4054.64,"body":"makes sense."},{"startTime":4055.96,"endTime":4058.9,"body":"And so, of course, there's a"},{"startTime":4055.96,"endTime":4058.9,"body":"steep space between him and"},{"startTime":4058.9,"endTime":4062.4,"body":"where he needs to be. And so"},{"startTime":4058.9,"endTime":4062.4,"body":"he's walking, and as he's"},{"startTime":4062.4,"endTime":4067.08,"body":"walking, he's the platform is"},{"startTime":4062.4,"endTime":4067.08,"body":"building as he's walking,"},{"startTime":4067.08,"endTime":4070.5,"body":"because he's drawing, he's"},{"startTime":4067.08,"endTime":4070.5,"body":"drawing metal from the wall."},{"startTime":4070.5,"endTime":4073.92,"body":"That's it. That's attraction,"},{"startTime":4070.5,"endTime":4073.92,"body":"yeah. And so"},{"startTime":4078.12,"endTime":4084.32,"body":"him trying to build the entire"},{"startTime":4078.12,"endTime":4084.32,"body":"like expanse while he's at one"},{"startTime":4084.38,"endTime":4085.94,"body":"end, as he takes a step, it"},{"startTime":4087.74,"endTime":4091.76,"body":"shows us as he arrives. It"},{"startTime":4087.74,"endTime":4091.76,"body":"appears as he arrives. And so"},{"startTime":4097.16,"endTime":4101.26,"body":"that's my life shouting is on a"},{"startTime":4097.16,"endTime":4101.26,"body":"Marvel movie. Anyway. Magneto"},{"startTime":4101.26,"endTime":4101.74,"body":"the villain,"},{"startTime":4107.44,"endTime":4111.58,"body":"Professor X, represent two"},{"startTime":4107.44,"endTime":4111.58,"body":"opposing ideologies. So repeat"},{"startTime":4111.58,"endTime":4114.82,"body":"that, because I didn't hear that"},{"startTime":4111.58,"endTime":4114.82,"body":"over my own thoughts. He and"},{"startTime":4114.82,"endTime":4118.3,"body":"Professor X, the other mutant,"},{"startTime":4114.82,"endTime":4118.3,"body":"represent two opposing"},{"startTime":4118.3,"endTime":4121.74,"body":"ideologies. Stan Lee, the One"},{"startTime":4118.3,"endTime":4121.74,"body":"who created comic thought, not"},{"startTime":4121.74,"endTime":4124.56,"body":"to be confused with Stan Smith,"},{"startTime":4121.74,"endTime":4124.56,"body":"who is who I'm always confusing"},{"startTime":4124.56,"endTime":4128.4,"body":"him, right? So Professor X is"},{"startTime":4124.56,"endTime":4128.4,"body":"kind of representing this is"},{"startTime":4128.4,"endTime":4131.22,"body":"going into comic Lord, but I'm"},{"startTime":4128.4,"endTime":4131.22,"body":"not necessarily too far. Babe"},{"startTime":4132.12,"endTime":4134.82,"body":"represents Martin Luther King."},{"startTime":4132.12,"endTime":4134.82,"body":"Professor X,"},{"startTime":4138.6,"endTime":4140.22,"body":"that's the idea behind"},{"startTime":4142.56,"endTime":4144.92,"body":"black character. Of course,"},{"startTime":4142.56,"endTime":4144.92,"body":"they're not, no, they're not"},{"startTime":4144.92,"endTime":4148.34,"body":"black in the comic. They're not"},{"startTime":4144.92,"endTime":4148.34,"body":"black in the comic. So that's"},{"startTime":4148.34,"endTime":4151.52,"body":"why I said, y'all stay still."},{"startTime":4148.34,"endTime":4151.52,"body":"That's, well, that's why I said"},{"startTime":4151.52,"endTime":4154.34,"body":"we don't need to go that far,"},{"startTime":4151.52,"endTime":4154.34,"body":"because it's a that's, that's,"},{"startTime":4154.52,"endTime":4159.08,"body":"that's complicated. The reason"},{"startTime":4154.52,"endTime":4159.08,"body":"Stanley did what he did, that's"},{"startTime":4159.08,"endTime":4162.52,"body":"a whole separate conversation."},{"startTime":4159.08,"endTime":4162.52,"body":"However, the point is,"},{"startTime":4163.6,"endTime":4167.02,"body":"as it comes, right? What did you"},{"startTime":4163.6,"endTime":4167.02,"body":"say? What was the phrase we said"},{"startTime":4167.02,"endTime":4170.92,"body":"that? Y'all both said it and I"},{"startTime":4167.02,"endTime":4170.92,"body":"forgot it. Attract, attraction,"},{"startTime":4170.92,"endTime":4174.88,"body":"as you arrive, as you arrive."},{"startTime":4170.92,"endTime":4174.88,"body":"There we go. It comes as you it"},{"startTime":4174.88,"endTime":4179.98,"body":"will come when you arrive. Yes,"},{"startTime":4174.88,"endTime":4179.98,"body":"Lord Jesus, it comes when you"},{"startTime":4179.98,"endTime":4183.78,"body":"when it's time, it's time. And I"},{"startTime":4179.98,"endTime":4183.78,"body":"think that is alignment right?"},{"startTime":4183.78,"endTime":4187.38,"body":"Is that you get what you need"},{"startTime":4183.78,"endTime":4187.38,"body":"when you need to get it right."},{"startTime":4187.38,"endTime":4192.12,"body":"And you have that power. You do."},{"startTime":4187.38,"endTime":4192.12,"body":"Everyone has that power to walk."},{"startTime":4192.96,"endTime":4193.98,"body":"You don't."},{"startTime":4197.28,"endTime":4199.92,"body":"Bible talks about is without"},{"startTime":4197.28,"endTime":4199.92,"body":"faith. It is."},{"startTime":4200.0,"endTime":4201.32,"body":"Possible to please God."},{"startTime":4202.64,"endTime":4203.42,"body":"And"},{"startTime":4204.5,"endTime":4208.88,"body":"what that means by that is that"},{"startTime":4204.5,"endTime":4208.88,"body":"you don't get to exist on this"},{"startTime":4208.88,"endTime":4212.96,"body":"plane without exerting a level"},{"startTime":4208.88,"endTime":4212.96,"body":"of faith"},{"startTime":4214.1,"endTime":4219.56,"body":"on any level. Okay, I can, I"},{"startTime":4214.1,"endTime":4219.56,"body":"don't, you know, like said, it"},{"startTime":4219.56,"endTime":4224.08,"body":"took me, it didn't take any"},{"startTime":4219.56,"endTime":4224.08,"body":"faith or whatever. I believed"},{"startTime":4224.08,"endTime":4226.78,"body":"that this chair would hold me. I"},{"startTime":4224.08,"endTime":4226.78,"body":"didn't know that it would, yeah,"},{"startTime":4227.8,"endTime":4232.48,"body":"but I sat in it believing that"},{"startTime":4227.8,"endTime":4232.48,"body":"it would. You know, there's"},{"startTime":4232.48,"endTime":4237.28,"body":"trust that happens with evil."},{"startTime":4232.48,"endTime":4237.28,"body":"With babies exerting trust. They"},{"startTime":4237.28,"endTime":4241.86,"body":"trust that when they cry, they"},{"startTime":4237.28,"endTime":4241.86,"body":"will get food. And so they do,"},{"startTime":4242.76,"endTime":4245.58,"body":"yeah, and that cry becomes the"},{"startTime":4242.76,"endTime":4245.58,"body":"substance of things that are"},{"startTime":4245.58,"endTime":4249.06,"body":"hoped for. That cry becomes the"},{"startTime":4245.58,"endTime":4249.06,"body":"evidence of things that are not"},{"startTime":4249.06,"endTime":4255.9,"body":"seen. I don't see food, but I"},{"startTime":4249.06,"endTime":4255.9,"body":"believe that if I do this, food"},{"startTime":4255.9,"endTime":4262.46,"body":"will come, yep. And so there are"},{"startTime":4255.9,"endTime":4262.46,"body":"things that we do that are that"},{"startTime":4262.46,"endTime":4266.12,"body":"we do by faith but, and that's"},{"startTime":4262.46,"endTime":4266.12,"body":"the coupling of faith and work."},{"startTime":4266.18,"endTime":4269.0,"body":"Faith without works is dead,"},{"startTime":4266.18,"endTime":4269.0,"body":"yeah, if you believe it, then go"},{"startTime":4269.0,"endTime":4273.14,"body":"do something about it. That"},{"startTime":4269.0,"endTime":4273.14,"body":"part, if you believe that, like"},{"startTime":4273.14,"endTime":4276.08,"body":"you said, If you believe that"},{"startTime":4273.14,"endTime":4276.08,"body":"there's greater for you at the"},{"startTime":4276.08,"endTime":4281.8,"body":"at the end of a job, okay, go,"},{"startTime":4276.08,"endTime":4281.8,"body":"yeah. And again, the path will"},{"startTime":4281.8,"endTime":4285.58,"body":"become clear as you go. But"},{"startTime":4281.8,"endTime":4285.58,"body":"yeah, that's why I just wanna"},{"startTime":4285.58,"endTime":4289.36,"body":"say, but our faith is impossible"},{"startTime":4285.58,"endTime":4289.36,"body":"to please God, right? But you"},{"startTime":4289.36,"endTime":4292.0,"body":"know what that and I know we"},{"startTime":4289.36,"endTime":4292.0,"body":"gotta wrap but I think the"},{"startTime":4292.0,"endTime":4296.8,"body":"challenge here is that"},{"startTime":4292.0,"endTime":4296.8,"body":"oftentimes we in in making God"},{"startTime":4296.8,"endTime":4301.08,"body":"in our image. We often like, I"},{"startTime":4296.8,"endTime":4301.08,"body":"think about how we were taught"},{"startTime":4301.08,"endTime":4304.32,"body":"about God, Christian like Father"},{"startTime":4301.08,"endTime":4304.32,"body":"God, right, right? So we tend to"},{"startTime":4304.32,"endTime":4310.08,"body":"make God into a parent. That is"},{"startTime":4304.32,"endTime":4310.08,"body":"really complicated. When your"},{"startTime":4310.08,"endTime":4312.6,"body":"parents are people that are"},{"startTime":4310.08,"endTime":4312.6,"body":"easily displeased, or your"},{"startTime":4312.6,"endTime":4315.54,"body":"parents are people, right? And"},{"startTime":4312.6,"endTime":4315.54,"body":"they come with their own things,"},{"startTime":4315.54,"endTime":4318.12,"body":"like we talked about earlier,"},{"startTime":4315.54,"endTime":4318.12,"body":"right? And so you're constantly"},{"startTime":4318.12,"endTime":4321.56,"body":"feeling like, oh, shit, can't do"},{"startTime":4318.12,"endTime":4321.56,"body":"this, can't do that, gotta,"},{"startTime":4321.56,"endTime":4321.92,"body":"like,"},{"startTime":4323.12,"endTime":4326.3,"body":"tuck clip, all these things to"},{"startTime":4323.12,"endTime":4326.3,"body":"please this person. The"},{"startTime":4326.3,"endTime":4329.42,"body":"difference between your parent"},{"startTime":4326.3,"endTime":4329.42,"body":"and God is that God is a God,"},{"startTime":4330.38,"endTime":4334.58,"body":"right? And God can meet your"},{"startTime":4330.38,"endTime":4334.58,"body":"needs. And so I think in order"},{"startTime":4335.06,"endTime":4337.58,"body":"for a lot of us, in order to"},{"startTime":4338.66,"endTime":4342.64,"body":"learn to have faith in God and"},{"startTime":4338.66,"endTime":4342.64,"body":"learn to trust that if we cry,"},{"startTime":4343.06,"endTime":4347.44,"body":"then the need will be met. We're"},{"startTime":4343.06,"endTime":4347.44,"body":"gonna have to unpack the feeling"},{"startTime":4347.5,"endTime":4351.22,"body":"and fear that it won't, and"},{"startTime":4347.5,"endTime":4351.22,"body":"where that stems from. And for a"},{"startTime":4351.22,"endTime":4353.38,"body":"lot of us, that might be"},{"startTime":4351.22,"endTime":4353.38,"body":"parental relationships, and"},{"startTime":4353.38,"endTime":4355.72,"body":"maybe not, like, Oh, my parents"},{"startTime":4353.38,"endTime":4355.72,"body":"like Blackpool, they didn't feed"},{"startTime":4355.72,"endTime":4358.42,"body":"me, but oftentimes we didn't"},{"startTime":4355.72,"endTime":4358.42,"body":"get, like, emotional things"},{"startTime":4359.5,"endTime":4363.24,"body":"that we needed. Some people"},{"startTime":4359.5,"endTime":4363.24,"body":"absolutely physical, right?"},{"startTime":4363.24,"endTime":4365.7,"body":"Sometimes you didn't have"},{"startTime":4363.24,"endTime":4365.7,"body":"physical safety or physical"},{"startTime":4365.7,"endTime":4368.16,"body":"provision, but are being"},{"startTime":4365.7,"endTime":4368.16,"body":"provided for."},{"startTime":4369.18,"endTime":4373.86,"body":"But you know, it that emotional"},{"startTime":4369.18,"endTime":4373.86,"body":"safety can it scars you. And"},{"startTime":4373.86,"endTime":4379.44,"body":"then, if you relate God to a"},{"startTime":4373.86,"endTime":4379.44,"body":"parent, Father, God, right? Now,"},{"startTime":4379.44,"endTime":4382.04,"body":"it's like, Oh, what if he"},{"startTime":4379.44,"endTime":4382.04,"body":"doesn't, and what if, what if he"},{"startTime":4382.04,"endTime":4384.92,"body":"punishes me, right? Right?"},{"startTime":4382.04,"endTime":4384.92,"body":"Because that is what your"},{"startTime":4385.04,"endTime":4388.7,"body":"parents do. But you're God and"},{"startTime":4385.04,"endTime":4388.7,"body":"your parents are not the same,"},{"startTime":4388.7,"endTime":4391.28,"body":"yeah. And here's the thing"},{"startTime":4388.7,"endTime":4391.28,"body":"again, without faith is"},{"startTime":4391.28,"endTime":4393.92,"body":"impossible to please God, but"},{"startTime":4391.28,"endTime":4393.92,"body":"it's impossible to live here"},{"startTime":4393.92,"endTime":4396.38,"body":"without faith. That's it. So"},{"startTime":4393.92,"endTime":4396.38,"body":"that means to God, in God's"},{"startTime":4396.38,"endTime":4399.92,"body":"eyes, you God is perpetually"},{"startTime":4396.38,"endTime":4399.92,"body":"pleased, yeah? That's"},{"startTime":4402.26,"endTime":4405.28,"body":"because you're, you're walking,"},{"startTime":4402.26,"endTime":4405.28,"body":"you could walk a little bit more"},{"startTime":4405.28,"endTime":4407.68,"body":"faith and all that, he's giving"},{"startTime":4405.28,"endTime":4407.68,"body":"every man of measure of faith."},{"startTime":4407.68,"endTime":4410.32,"body":"That's, that's Romans, yep. So"},{"startTime":4407.68,"endTime":4410.32,"body":"if he's giving you a measure of"},{"startTime":4410.32,"endTime":4413.14,"body":"faith, without faith is a"},{"startTime":4410.32,"endTime":4413.14,"body":"positive pleasing, then he's"},{"startTime":4413.14,"endTime":4417.76,"body":"perpetually Please, yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":4413.14,"endTime":4417.76,"body":"So connect those connected and"},{"startTime":4417.76,"endTime":4422.04,"body":"rest in that, and even in the"},{"startTime":4417.76,"endTime":4422.04,"body":"uncertain moments. Again, all"},{"startTime":4422.04,"endTime":4425.52,"body":"power is his power. And what"},{"startTime":4422.04,"endTime":4425.52,"body":"space can you take with a God"},{"startTime":4425.52,"endTime":4429.42,"body":"that is perpetually pleased? How"},{"startTime":4425.52,"endTime":4429.42,"body":"can you show up if you know"},{"startTime":4429.42,"endTime":4434.22,"body":"you're not going to disappoint"},{"startTime":4429.42,"endTime":4434.22,"body":"God, how does that change how"},{"startTime":4434.22,"endTime":4436.74,"body":"you show up? What space does"},{"startTime":4434.22,"endTime":4436.74,"body":"that create in your life and in"},{"startTime":4436.74,"endTime":4437.22,"body":"your body,"},{"startTime":4438.96,"endTime":4443.06,"body":"right? If I can't be wrong and"},{"startTime":4438.96,"endTime":4443.06,"body":"not, like, wrong, obviously,"},{"startTime":4443.06,"endTime":4446.18,"body":"don't murder, right? You're not"},{"startTime":4443.06,"endTime":4446.18,"body":"talking about the, like, basic"},{"startTime":4446.18,"endTime":4448.64,"body":"moralism. Like, don't go"},{"startTime":4446.18,"endTime":4448.64,"body":"murdering people, yeah. But"},{"startTime":4448.64,"endTime":4452.54,"body":"like, if, if, my if I cannot"},{"startTime":4448.64,"endTime":4452.54,"body":"make a wrong decision because"},{"startTime":4452.54,"endTime":4454.46,"body":"I'm acting out of faith,"},{"startTime":4452.54,"endTime":4454.46,"body":"regardless. Um,"},{"startTime":4457.4,"endTime":4460.16,"body":"well, how does that alleviate"},{"startTime":4457.4,"endTime":4460.16,"body":"that pressure? How does that"},{"startTime":4460.16,"endTime":4462.88,"body":"alleviate that anxiety that"},{"startTime":4460.16,"endTime":4462.88,"body":"you're going to get it wrong and"},{"startTime":4462.88,"endTime":4467.68,"body":"somehow be punished for it"},{"startTime":4462.88,"endTime":4467.68,"body":"right? And also, I'm just going"},{"startTime":4467.68,"endTime":4471.4,"body":"to speak from my experience,"},{"startTime":4467.68,"endTime":4471.4,"body":"God, ain't never punished me"},{"startTime":4471.94,"endTime":4475.6,"body":"that has given me opportunity to"},{"startTime":4471.94,"endTime":4475.6,"body":"grow. And I'm not saying it"},{"startTime":4475.6,"endTime":4478.96,"body":"like, Oh, it's a euphemism like,"},{"startTime":4475.6,"endTime":4478.96,"body":"oh, you know where you didn't do"},{"startTime":4478.96,"endTime":4482.04,"body":"that bad. It's an opportunity to"},{"startTime":4478.96,"endTime":4482.04,"body":"it's a growth opportunity. No,"},{"startTime":4482.04,"endTime":4484.32,"body":"no, I'm not saying that. What I"},{"startTime":4482.04,"endTime":4484.32,"body":"am saying is, Have I been"},{"startTime":4484.32,"endTime":4488.76,"body":"through some hard shit? Yo, yo,"},{"startTime":4484.32,"endTime":4488.76,"body":"yo. This shit is,"},{"startTime":4490.44,"endTime":4493.44,"body":"I have experienced, sometimes,"},{"startTime":4490.44,"endTime":4493.44,"body":"the consequences of my own"},{"startTime":4493.44,"endTime":4497.88,"body":"decisions. I have often, often"},{"startTime":4493.44,"endTime":4497.88,"body":"also experienced the"},{"startTime":4497.88,"endTime":4499.92,"body":"consequences of other people's"},{"startTime":4497.88,"endTime":4499.92,"body":"decisions."},{"startTime":4500.0,"endTime":4503.78,"body":"Especially, like as a kid,"},{"startTime":4500.0,"endTime":4503.78,"body":"right, right? But everything is"},{"startTime":4503.78,"endTime":4507.14,"body":"usable, and at no point was God"},{"startTime":4503.78,"endTime":4507.14,"body":"punishing me. And so if you take"},{"startTime":4507.14,"endTime":4511.7,"body":"off that lens, release the lens"},{"startTime":4507.14,"endTime":4511.7,"body":"of like, punishment, because"},{"startTime":4511.7,"endTime":4514.1,"body":"hell is also a punishment,"},{"startTime":4511.7,"endTime":4514.1,"body":"right? Like, yes, and punishment"},{"startTime":4514.1,"endTime":4516.92,"body":"is just a mechanism for control."},{"startTime":4514.1,"endTime":4516.92,"body":"Can we talk about it? Let's not."},{"startTime":4516.92,"endTime":4518.96,"body":"We don't got time, but yeah, we"},{"startTime":4516.92,"endTime":4518.96,"body":"go home with that. Yeah,"},{"startTime":4519.14,"endTime":4522.16,"body":"punishment is just a mechanism"},{"startTime":4519.14,"endTime":4522.16,"body":"for control. So if you take out"},{"startTime":4522.16,"endTime":4525.34,"body":"this, this mechanism, how do you"},{"startTime":4522.16,"endTime":4525.34,"body":"move?"},{"startTime":4526.6,"endTime":4529.36,"body":"How do you move when you know"},{"startTime":4526.6,"endTime":4529.36,"body":"that God is not looking for you"},{"startTime":4529.36,"endTime":4534.64,"body":"to fuck up and waiting for an"},{"startTime":4529.36,"endTime":4534.64,"body":"opportunity to then bash you in"},{"startTime":4534.82,"endTime":4538.48,"body":"or put you in timeout, or take"},{"startTime":4534.82,"endTime":4538.48,"body":"something you love or someone"},{"startTime":4538.48,"endTime":4541.74,"body":"you love, right? How does that"},{"startTime":4538.48,"endTime":4541.74,"body":"change? Right your life? And"},{"startTime":4541.74,"endTime":4545.4,"body":"some people don't want to deal"},{"startTime":4541.74,"endTime":4545.4,"body":"with that at all. Um, deal with"},{"startTime":4545.4,"endTime":4547.92,"body":"that question at all. Y'all"},{"startTime":4545.4,"endTime":4547.92,"body":"don't have to deal with it."},{"startTime":4548.16,"endTime":4551.4,"body":"Well, why do I follow God if I"},{"startTime":4548.16,"endTime":4551.4,"body":"ain't going to go to hell? What?"},{"startTime":4551.4,"endTime":4554.34,"body":"That's a good question. That is"},{"startTime":4551.4,"endTime":4554.34,"body":"a it's a great question to ask."},{"startTime":4554.34,"endTime":4556.74,"body":"It's a good question to ask, and"},{"startTime":4554.34,"endTime":4556.74,"body":"we're going to keep asking those"},{"startTime":4556.74,"endTime":4560.84,"body":"questions. Yeah, um, over the"},{"startTime":4556.74,"endTime":4560.84,"body":"next few weeks, we're going to"},{"startTime":4560.84,"endTime":4566.6,"body":"be diving more into some of the"},{"startTime":4560.84,"endTime":4566.6,"body":"more, yeah, the nitty gritty on"},{"startTime":4566.6,"endTime":4572.6,"body":"some of the aspects of certainty"},{"startTime":4566.6,"endTime":4572.6,"body":"and what it produces and what we"},{"startTime":4572.6,"endTime":4576.38,"body":"can do instead, what we can do"},{"startTime":4572.6,"endTime":4576.38,"body":"instead, what we can do instead."},{"startTime":4576.38,"endTime":4580.54,"body":"Because we're all about the"},{"startTime":4576.38,"endTime":4580.54,"body":"like, how do I move forward in a"},{"startTime":4580.54,"endTime":4584.08,"body":"different way, in a way that"},{"startTime":4580.54,"endTime":4584.08,"body":"actually serves me well. So"},{"startTime":4584.14,"endTime":4586.9,"body":"hopefully you took something"},{"startTime":4584.14,"endTime":4586.9,"body":"away from today. I want to thank"},{"startTime":4586.9,"endTime":4590.98,"body":"you so much for joining us in"},{"startTime":4586.9,"endTime":4590.98,"body":"this time, in this first episode"},{"startTime":4590.98,"endTime":4592.06,"body":"of the podcast."},{"startTime":4593.92,"endTime":4597.58,"body":"It's up from here, y'all, it can"},{"startTime":4593.92,"endTime":4597.58,"body":"only go up better."},{"startTime":4598.96,"endTime":4601.98,"body":"It's going to improve. Thank you"},{"startTime":4598.96,"endTime":4601.98,"body":"for you being patient with us"},{"startTime":4601.98,"endTime":4606.24,"body":"and hanging out with us, and we"},{"startTime":4601.98,"endTime":4606.24,"body":"will see you next week. Please"},{"startTime":4606.24,"endTime":4609.66,"body":"be sure to like and subscribe"},{"startTime":4606.24,"endTime":4609.66,"body":"and follow us on social media,"},{"startTime":4610.08,"endTime":4613.74,"body":"also on wherever you listen to"},{"startTime":4610.08,"endTime":4613.74,"body":"podcasts, so you can get updated"},{"startTime":4613.74,"endTime":4617.28,"body":"when we release a new one. And"},{"startTime":4613.74,"endTime":4617.28,"body":"feel free to to like and share"},{"startTime":4617.28,"endTime":4619.74,"body":"and leave comments and tell us"},{"startTime":4617.28,"endTime":4619.74,"body":"what you like and what you want"},{"startTime":4619.74,"endTime":4623.18,"body":"to see. Yeah, sensational, no,"},{"startTime":4626.12,"endTime":4628.88,"body":"no, although, if you're"},{"startTime":4626.12,"endTime":4628.88,"body":"listening, sir, you're really"},{"startTime":4628.88,"endTime":4630.86,"body":"big, yeah, and all"},{"startTime":4632.24,"endTime":4636.32,"body":"mentee, he makes me look like"},{"startTime":4632.24,"endTime":4636.32,"body":"me. That's a fine specimen"},{"startTime":4636.32,"endTime":4639.74,"body":"there. I just want to say I'm"},{"startTime":4636.32,"endTime":4639.74,"body":"married and all that. Yeah. I"},{"startTime":4639.74,"endTime":4644.2,"body":"mean he's also same, I also love"},{"startTime":4639.74,"endTime":4644.2,"body":"women, and that man is"},{"startTime":4645.82,"endTime":4647.56,"body":"the man says, Mr. Sensational."},{"startTime":4649.9,"endTime":4652.36,"body":"He big, fine man. Won't you"},{"startTime":4649.9,"endTime":4652.36,"body":"thank them?"},{"startTime":4653.92,"endTime":4657.88,"body":"I will show him to you in the"},{"startTime":4653.92,"endTime":4657.88,"body":"end. Okay? I was like, that's"},{"startTime":4657.88,"endTime":4658.9,"body":"that who sings that song."},{"startTime":4662.26,"endTime":4665.7,"body":"All right, y'all take care. Much"},{"startTime":4662.26,"endTime":4665.7,"body":"Love all around"},{"startTime":4666.84,"endTime":4670.02,"body":"thanks for joining us on this"},{"startTime":4666.84,"endTime":4670.02,"body":"episode of The uproot project"},{"startTime":4670.02,"endTime":4673.56,"body":"podcast. We hope you found fresh"},{"startTime":4670.02,"endTime":4673.56,"body":"perspective and continue to make"},{"startTime":4673.56,"endTime":4676.8,"body":"space for real growth. If you"},{"startTime":4673.56,"endTime":4676.8,"body":"enjoyed today's conversation, be"},{"startTime":4676.8,"endTime":4679.5,"body":"sure to subscribe, share and"},{"startTime":4676.8,"endTime":4679.5,"body":"leave a review wherever you"},{"startTime":4679.5,"endTime":4683.12,"body":"listen to your podcast. You can"},{"startTime":4679.5,"endTime":4683.12,"body":"follow us on social media at the"},{"startTime":4683.12,"endTime":4686.9,"body":"uproot project podcast, on"},{"startTime":4683.12,"endTime":4686.9,"body":"Instagram and Facebook, or visit"},{"startTime":4686.9,"endTime":4690.86,"body":"us at the uproot podcast.com."},{"startTime":4686.9,"endTime":4690.86,"body":"For more content until next"},{"startTime":4690.86,"endTime":4694.88,"body":"time, keep living fully,"},{"startTime":4690.86,"endTime":4694.88,"body":"learning openly and loving"},{"startTime":4694.88,"endTime":4696.62,"body":"deeply. We'll see you soon. You"}]}