1 01:00:01,250 --> 01:00:04,125 Good morning and 2 01:00:04,125 --> 01:00:06,875 welcome to Morning Cereal. 3 01:00:08,833 --> 01:00:13,291 Okay, good morning and 4 01:00:13,291 --> 01:00:14,916 welcome to the middle of the week. 5 01:00:14,916 --> 01:00:15,708 It's Wednesday everyone. 6 01:00:16,375 --> 01:00:18,166 Now here are must vegetarians. 7 01:00:18,458 --> 01:00:21,250 Today is national bacon lovers day. 8 01:00:21,250 --> 01:00:23,083 We're honoring the unofficial breakfast 9 01:00:23,083 --> 01:00:25,458 meat MVP that also goes 10 01:00:25,458 --> 01:00:26,583 well with that club sandwich 11 01:00:26,750 --> 01:00:28,750 at lunch and it really goes pretty good 12 01:00:28,750 --> 01:00:29,708 with a hamburger for dinner. 13 01:00:30,500 --> 01:00:31,375 Thank you pigs. 14 01:00:31,833 --> 01:00:32,958 All right, vegetarians, 15 01:00:33,208 --> 01:00:34,375 you can now rejoin us. 16 01:00:34,875 --> 01:00:37,750 It's also national radio day celebrating 17 01:00:37,750 --> 01:00:38,916 the medium that once 18 01:00:38,916 --> 01:00:40,791 brought us dedications and 19 01:00:40,791 --> 01:00:41,958 school cancellations. 20 01:00:42,833 --> 01:00:43,416 Simpler times. 21 01:00:44,166 --> 01:00:46,833 Well, now a quote from Demi Lovato to get 22 01:00:46,833 --> 01:00:47,708 you going this morning. 23 01:00:47,916 --> 01:00:50,333 Demi Lovato said, "You are stronger than 24 01:00:50,333 --> 01:00:52,708 you think and braver than you seem." 25 01:00:53,375 --> 01:00:55,708 Now I bet if you really dig down, you'll 26 01:00:55,708 --> 01:00:56,541 find out that you've 27 01:00:56,541 --> 01:00:58,000 got a lot more grit than 28 01:00:58,000 --> 01:00:59,250 you give yourself credit for. 29 01:00:59,625 --> 01:01:01,500 All right, well, today's news facts and 30 01:01:01,500 --> 01:01:02,583 birthdays are for August 31 01:01:02,583 --> 01:01:05,416 20th and start back in 1882. 32 01:01:05,416 --> 01:01:08,041 That's when Tchaikovsky's 1812 overture, 33 01:01:08,041 --> 01:01:09,833 well, it debuted in Moscow. 34 01:01:10,708 --> 01:01:13,083 Then moving up to 1920, that's when the 35 01:01:13,083 --> 01:01:14,083 professional football 36 01:01:14,083 --> 01:01:16,750 association, the PFA, well, don't 37 01:01:16,750 --> 01:01:17,458 recognize that. 38 01:01:17,458 --> 01:01:18,458 It was formed by Jim 39 01:01:18,458 --> 01:01:19,208 Thorpe as the president. 40 01:01:19,791 --> 01:01:21,500 Well, later it became the National 41 01:01:21,500 --> 01:01:22,958 Football League, right? 42 01:01:23,375 --> 01:01:24,333 Nice to see football 43 01:01:24,333 --> 01:01:25,583 on TV again right now. 44 01:01:26,000 --> 01:01:26,500 Go Broncos. 45 01:01:27,208 --> 01:01:28,958 Then lastly, we're going to mention on 46 01:01:28,958 --> 01:01:30,625 this day in 2000, the 47 01:01:30,625 --> 01:01:32,541 PGA Championship for men's 48 01:01:32,541 --> 01:01:32,791 golf. 49 01:01:33,208 --> 01:01:35,583 Well, Tiger Woods, he would win back to 50 01:01:35,583 --> 01:01:37,500 back PGA titles after a 51 01:01:37,500 --> 01:01:38,625 three-hole playoff with 52 01:01:38,625 --> 01:01:39,250 Bob May. 53 01:01:39,583 --> 01:01:41,500 And he became the first player to win 54 01:01:41,500 --> 01:01:42,500 three majors in a 55 01:01:42,500 --> 01:01:44,333 calendar year since Ben Hogan 56 01:01:44,333 --> 01:01:45,583 did it in 1953. 57 01:01:46,625 --> 01:01:48,000 Well, happy birthday to you. 58 01:01:48,166 --> 01:01:48,958 Today is your birthday. 59 01:01:49,250 --> 01:01:50,083 You share a birthday 60 01:01:50,083 --> 01:01:51,791 with singer Demi Lovato. 61 01:01:51,791 --> 01:01:52,833 She's 33 today. 62 01:01:53,625 --> 01:01:54,833 Actor Andrew Garfield. 63 01:01:54,833 --> 01:01:56,208 He's only 42 today. 64 01:01:56,791 --> 01:01:57,625 Actors Amy Adams. 65 01:01:58,000 --> 01:01:59,000 She's 51 today. 66 01:01:59,625 --> 01:02:00,625 And Robert Plant, the 67 01:02:00,625 --> 01:02:01,791 lead singer of Led Zeppelin. 68 01:02:02,041 --> 01:02:03,291 He's 77 today. 69 01:02:03,916 --> 01:02:06,166 And now the number one song on this date 70 01:02:06,166 --> 01:02:08,583 back in 2008, "I Kissed 71 01:02:08,583 --> 01:02:09,916 a Girl" by Katy Perry. 72 01:02:10,416 --> 01:02:12,166 Now, this pop anthem, it sparked 73 01:02:12,166 --> 01:02:14,333 controversy and I guess a lot of 74 01:02:14,333 --> 01:02:15,625 conversations as this 75 01:02:15,666 --> 01:02:17,458 was Katy's first single. 76 01:02:17,916 --> 01:02:20,166 And it had a little bit of some cheeky 77 01:02:20,166 --> 01:02:22,000 lyrics and a catchy beat, right? 78 01:02:22,000 --> 01:02:24,000 And with that, it shot to number one and 79 01:02:24,000 --> 01:02:25,333 it became really a staple 80 01:02:25,333 --> 01:02:27,000 of the late 2000s radio. 81 01:02:27,375 --> 01:02:28,375 Here's a fun fact for you. 82 01:02:28,791 --> 01:02:31,083 It was written in just 15 minutes. 83 01:02:31,500 --> 01:02:33,541 And who doesn't like Cherry Chapstick? 84 01:02:34,333 --> 01:02:37,083 Well, I'm reading a book and I liked it. 85 01:02:37,083 --> 01:02:38,875 And that book is Stephen R. Covey's "The 86 01:02:38,875 --> 01:02:40,750 7 Habits of Highly Effective People." 87 01:02:41,458 --> 01:02:43,958 And in the sub-chapter "Understanding and 88 01:02:43,958 --> 01:02:45,458 Perception," Covey is 89 01:02:45,458 --> 01:02:47,083 drawing attention to 90 01:02:47,083 --> 01:02:48,375 a fundamental flaw in 91 01:02:48,375 --> 01:02:49,625 most human communication. 92 01:02:50,208 --> 01:02:52,416 And it's the way our personal perceptions 93 01:02:52,416 --> 01:02:55,125 filter everything we hear and we see. 94 01:02:55,125 --> 01:02:56,333 Talked about it a little bit yesterday. 95 01:02:57,041 --> 01:02:59,333 Covey explains that when we interact with 96 01:02:59,333 --> 01:03:00,833 others, we rarely 97 01:03:00,833 --> 01:03:02,708 engage with reality as it 98 01:03:02,750 --> 01:03:03,666 truly is. 99 01:03:03,750 --> 01:03:05,000 Instead, we engage with 100 01:03:05,000 --> 01:03:06,791 reality as we interpret it, okay? 101 01:03:07,291 --> 01:03:08,625 That interpretation is 102 01:03:08,625 --> 01:03:10,333 colored by our experience. 103 01:03:10,500 --> 01:03:11,875 Our emotions at that time and our 104 01:03:11,875 --> 01:03:13,291 expectations at that time. 105 01:03:13,750 --> 01:03:15,708 Covey says that, quote, "Most people do 106 01:03:15,708 --> 01:03:18,500 not listen with the intent to understand. 107 01:03:18,875 --> 01:03:19,666 They listen with the 108 01:03:19,666 --> 01:03:21,416 intent to reply," end quote. 109 01:03:22,000 --> 01:03:24,125 Now this is at the heart of the problem. 110 01:03:24,125 --> 01:03:25,625 Instead of truly focusing on another 111 01:03:25,625 --> 01:03:28,041 person's perspective, we listen through 112 01:03:28,041 --> 01:03:29,458 our own autobiographical 113 01:03:29,541 --> 01:03:32,375 lens, thinking about how what's being 114 01:03:32,375 --> 01:03:34,666 said connects to our own story. 115 01:03:35,083 --> 01:03:36,458 And we're starting to prepare our 116 01:03:36,458 --> 01:03:37,875 responses or we're 117 01:03:37,875 --> 01:03:39,583 silently maybe judging whether or 118 01:03:39,625 --> 01:03:41,083 not we agree with what they're saying. 119 01:03:41,625 --> 01:03:43,791 So the result is that genuine 120 01:03:43,791 --> 01:03:46,000 understanding rarely takes place. 121 01:03:47,208 --> 01:03:48,000 Perception, Covey 122 01:03:48,000 --> 01:03:50,416 stresses, is not the same as truth. 123 01:03:51,041 --> 01:03:52,541 Two people can hear the same words and 124 01:03:52,541 --> 01:03:53,916 walk away with entirely 125 01:03:53,916 --> 01:03:54,958 different impressions. 126 01:03:55,250 --> 01:03:56,416 I know I've had that happen. 127 01:03:56,416 --> 01:03:57,500 I'm sure you have too. 128 01:03:57,875 --> 01:04:00,000 But it's simply because our frames of 129 01:04:00,000 --> 01:04:01,750 reference are different from each other. 130 01:04:02,125 --> 01:04:04,041 So for Covey, this means that seeking 131 01:04:04,041 --> 01:04:05,333 first to understand 132 01:04:05,333 --> 01:04:07,500 requires a deliberate suspension 133 01:04:07,916 --> 01:04:08,916 of our own biases. 134 01:04:09,791 --> 01:04:11,666 We must enter another's frame of 135 01:04:11,666 --> 01:04:13,250 reference, not to agree 136 01:04:13,250 --> 01:04:14,958 with it or approve of it, but 137 01:04:14,958 --> 01:04:17,291 to see it accurately for what it is. 138 01:04:17,666 --> 01:04:19,416 And that actually hearkens back to some 139 01:04:19,416 --> 01:04:21,041 of Dale Carnegie's habits as well. 140 01:04:21,791 --> 01:04:23,625 Well, Covey also explains that 141 01:04:23,625 --> 01:04:25,833 misunderstanding is costly. 142 01:04:26,333 --> 01:04:28,833 When we assume we understand but we fail 143 01:04:28,833 --> 01:04:29,416 to check our 144 01:04:29,416 --> 01:04:31,500 perception, we often rush into 145 01:04:31,541 --> 01:04:31,916 decision. 146 01:04:32,250 --> 01:04:34,791 Then we misdiagnose problems or we give 147 01:04:34,791 --> 01:04:36,375 advice that misses the mark. 148 01:04:36,666 --> 01:04:39,208 And this is why Covey insists that 149 01:04:39,208 --> 01:04:40,708 effective communication 150 01:04:40,708 --> 01:04:43,250 begins with empathic listening, 151 01:04:43,500 --> 01:04:43,708 right? 152 01:04:43,958 --> 01:04:46,708 The practice of listening to both words 153 01:04:46,708 --> 01:04:48,250 and feelings with the 154 01:04:48,250 --> 01:04:49,833 goal of grasping the meaning, 155 01:04:50,083 --> 01:04:51,458 not formulating a reply. 156 01:04:52,458 --> 01:04:54,333 And Covey also underscores that empathic 157 01:04:54,333 --> 01:04:56,083 listening is not passive, okay? 158 01:04:56,375 --> 01:04:57,750 It requires effort, 159 01:04:57,750 --> 01:04:59,333 humility, and discipline. 160 01:04:59,916 --> 01:05:02,416 And it means setting aside the urge to 161 01:05:02,416 --> 01:05:03,666 control the conversation, 162 01:05:03,666 --> 01:05:05,291 instead allowing the other 163 01:05:05,333 --> 01:05:07,791 person's perspective to fully emerge. 164 01:05:08,625 --> 01:05:11,583 Now, only once people feel understood, 165 01:05:12,083 --> 01:05:13,583 Covey would argue, that's 166 01:05:13,583 --> 01:05:14,666 when they will open themselves 167 01:05:14,666 --> 01:05:16,291 to influence or to dialogue. 168 01:05:17,000 --> 01:05:18,916 And the lessons of this sub-chapter, 169 01:05:18,916 --> 01:05:20,708 understanding and perception, it's clear. 170 01:05:21,166 --> 01:05:22,666 If we hope to be effective in our 171 01:05:22,666 --> 01:05:24,833 relationships, we must first 172 01:05:24,833 --> 01:05:26,833 acknowledge how limited and 173 01:05:26,833 --> 01:05:29,166 subjective our own perceptions can be. 174 01:05:29,583 --> 01:05:31,291 By making the choice to listen with the 175 01:05:31,291 --> 01:05:32,583 intent to understand, we 176 01:05:32,583 --> 01:05:33,958 create the conditions for 177 01:05:34,041 --> 01:05:36,000 trust and clarity and cooperation. 178 01:05:36,833 --> 01:05:37,958 All right, thanks for hanging in there. 179 01:05:38,458 --> 01:05:39,083 Here's your takeaway. 180 01:05:40,083 --> 01:05:41,958 True understanding is not automatic. 181 01:05:42,416 --> 01:05:44,333 It begins with recognizing the limits of 182 01:05:44,333 --> 01:05:45,958 our perception and then 183 01:05:45,958 --> 01:05:47,583 making the conscious choice 184 01:05:48,083 --> 01:05:50,500 to listen for meaning, not for a reply. 185 01:05:51,166 --> 01:05:53,958 All right, so whether you're frying some 186 01:05:53,958 --> 01:05:55,041 bacon today or just 187 01:05:55,041 --> 01:05:56,583 trying to get that radio just 188 01:05:56,708 --> 01:05:57,833 dialed in just right, 189 01:05:57,833 --> 01:05:58,750 anybody remember doing that? 190 01:05:59,333 --> 01:06:00,375 Well, today is about 191 01:06:00,375 --> 01:06:02,083 craving connection and clarity. 192 01:06:02,916 --> 01:06:03,583 Thanks for tuning in. 193 01:06:03,583 --> 01:06:04,416 Join us tomorrow for some 194 01:06:04,416 --> 01:06:06,083 more nostalgia and morning zine. 195 01:06:06,083 --> 01:06:07,875 Hey, have a fantastic day. 196 01:06:09,333 --> 01:06:11,000 Don't forget to follow and subscribe to 197 01:06:11,000 --> 01:06:11,666 the Morning Serial 198 01:06:11,666 --> 01:06:13,750 Podcast on the One Life Live 199 01:06:13,750 --> 01:06:14,208 It channel. 200 01:06:14,750 --> 01:06:16,708 You can find more episodes and videos by 201 01:06:16,708 --> 01:06:17,458 visiting our YouTube 202 01:06:17,458 --> 01:06:19,625 channel and the website at Shawn 203 01:06:19,625 --> 01:06:22,375 Inglis and at ShawnInglis.com, where you 204 01:06:22,375 --> 01:06:23,500 can also follow our 205 01:06:23,500 --> 01:06:24,958 other podcasts, the Mr. and 206 01:06:24,958 --> 01:06:26,500 Mrs. Inglis podcast and 207 01:06:26,500 --> 01:06:27,541 the Life Happens podcast. 208 01:06:28,375 --> 01:06:30,500 And these other podcasts will dive deeper 209 01:06:30,500 --> 01:06:31,416 into everyday issues, 210 01:06:31,666 --> 01:06:32,458 self-improvement and 211 01:06:32,750 --> 01:06:34,958 business and finance, and we 212 01:06:34,958 --> 01:06:36,250 welcome special guests too. 213 01:06:36,750 --> 01:06:37,500 So join us. 214 01:06:37,500 --> 01:06:38,458 It will be a good time. 215 01:06:38,458 --> 01:06:38,833 I promise. 216 01:06:39,500 --> 01:06:40,375 Thanks again for listening. 217 01:06:40,541 --> 01:06:42,166 Have a fantastic day and 218 01:06:42,166 --> 01:06:42,666 we'll see you tomorrow.