WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:08.560 Music. 00:00:08.831 --> 00:00:18.823 I'm Pastor Luke, and I believe that you can experience lasting life change for your good and for God's glory. 00:00:19.196 --> 00:00:24.216 Today we're going to start talking about a pretty significant topic that we'll spend 00:00:24.216 --> 00:00:30.716 the next several weeks talking about, because I really want us to begin to unpack some of 00:00:30.716 --> 00:00:33.516 the things that are going on inside of us. 00:00:33.516 --> 00:00:38.316 A lot of our conversations that we've been having on this podcast so far have been things 00:00:38.316 --> 00:00:44.316 is doing with kind of just waking up to our circumstances is beginning to say, 00:00:44.596 --> 00:00:46.361 all right, what's going on in my life? 00:00:46.541 --> 00:00:50.476 How can I begin to be honest about what's happening? 00:00:50.772 --> 00:00:53.176 What's going on in my life, what I'm dealing with. 00:00:54.202 --> 00:01:00.171 And now we come to a place where we need to start digging in a little bit more. 00:01:00.450 --> 00:01:06.196 We start to look inwards so that we can begin to see what's going on inside my 00:01:06.196 --> 00:01:13.796 heart, inside of my soul, inside of my mind? Why am I behaving these ways? We've started to confront 00:01:14.223 --> 00:01:20.676 that, yeah, perhaps I'm living a life of insanity. I'm living in a way that does not lead to the 00:01:20.676 --> 00:01:26.596 direction I want to go. Maybe I've been holding on to things that I shouldn't be holding on to. 00:01:26.596 --> 00:01:33.316 Maybe I've got wounds that need addressed that I've not dealt with. Whatever part of those 00:01:33.316 --> 00:01:38.196 conversations has resonated with you the most, that might be true. 00:01:38.196 --> 00:01:43.751 But now let's start to dig in a little bit more. 00:01:43.936 --> 00:01:47.523 We're going to talk about identifying the false self. 00:01:48.276 --> 00:01:50.304 So let's talk about that a little bit. 00:01:51.356 --> 00:01:59.916 So my question is, is like, my question is, who are you really? 00:01:58.910 --> 00:02:04.114 What is the real you like how many people actually know you in? 00:02:06.094 --> 00:02:11.577 Like in your raw form right who know you unfiltered, 00:02:12.567 --> 00:02:16.240 When I get ready for the day right when I get up I get my day going I. 00:02:18.544 --> 00:02:27.840 Pick out some matching clothes at least I try to I Take care of myself. I try and brush my teeth make sure there's nothing in my teeth and I head out, 00:02:28.456 --> 00:02:36.680 right and I try and put out this image of kind of like just you know put together and then when I get home for the day I come home and I take off all 00:02:36.680 --> 00:02:41.509 my clothes I put on my comfy pants and my comfy shirt and I sit out I relax ha 00:02:41.840 --> 00:02:49.188 right and my question is is what are you like when you're in your comfy pants 00:02:49.602 --> 00:02:55.400 what are you actually like not when you're trying to put on a show or trying 00:02:55.400 --> 00:03:03.520 to put on an outward look or image or picture for everyone else. 00:03:03.520 --> 00:03:05.482 What are you actually like? 00:03:05.720 --> 00:03:11.595 What are you like when you stop worrying about trying to present a perfect image to other people? 00:03:12.460 --> 00:03:17.020 We know what this is like, right? But what if it's more than just cleaning up our appearances? 00:03:17.020 --> 00:03:22.938 What if we don't ever have spaces where we feel like we get to wear our comfy clothes? 00:03:23.280 --> 00:03:27.440 We don't feel like we ever get to just be ourselves. There's no one in our life 00:03:27.440 --> 00:03:39.400 that we get to be honest and vulnerable with. What if we feel like we're constantly putting on a mask so that others can't see us? That kind of living 00:03:39.673 --> 00:03:46.560 is unsustainable. It just is. If we're living in a world, in a life where we 00:03:46.560 --> 00:03:51.200 have to put on a mask and we can't ever let someone see us, we can't ever be 00:03:51.385 --> 00:03:58.280 honest about something, that is an unsustainable place to live. 00:03:58.720 --> 00:04:03.460 We all do this to some degree, but when it becomes a way of living, we are walking into 00:04:03.460 --> 00:04:07.013 a very unhelpful space. 00:04:07.160 --> 00:04:13.080 It is a core need of humans to be known and to feel accepted. 00:04:13.080 --> 00:04:19.480 When we don't believe that our true selves are acceptable, we start to build what I call the false self. 00:04:19.480 --> 00:04:26.000 This isn't an idea that's unique to me by any means. Other people have written and talked a lot about this, 00:04:26.116 --> 00:04:28.978 but this is just me applying this to this particular. 00:04:30.068 --> 00:04:34.299 A particular topic and particular way of thinking about things. 00:04:34.458 --> 00:04:42.818 So here's a definition of the false self. The false self is an image of ourselves that we desire to be and for others we desire to 00:04:42.818 --> 00:04:44.039 see. 00:04:44.398 --> 00:04:50.953 It's the image, it's the mask, it's the performance, it's the way we want to be perceived by others. 00:04:51.318 --> 00:04:56.418 It's the lies, it's the white lies that we say to kind of like smooth things over so 00:04:56.418 --> 00:05:00.818 that we look like the good guy, or it looks like we've got it all together, right? 00:05:00.818 --> 00:05:03.376 The false self is built by any number of things. 00:05:04.231 --> 00:05:09.930 It can be built by our family's expectations of us in response to our insecurities. 00:05:10.558 --> 00:05:13.218 The false self can look any way we want it to. 00:05:13.218 --> 00:05:18.818 Some false selves are really prideful and confident while they know it all and they 00:05:18.818 --> 00:05:19.877 have it all together. 00:05:20.298 --> 00:05:28.458 False selves are really timid and respectable and kind of behaved, they might always do the right 00:05:28.458 --> 00:05:34.298 thing and they might be very well behaved. Like the false self can look any number of ways, 00:05:35.136 --> 00:05:41.578 but it looks the way that we think we ought to look. It looks and behaves the way we want other 00:05:41.578 --> 00:05:46.992 people to think about us. That's the false self. It's the mask. It's the image that we 00:05:47.118 --> 00:05:50.242 paint on so that other people see us a certain way. 00:05:52.735 --> 00:05:57.173 But it's more than just that, because when we build up a false self, 00:05:57.245 --> 00:06:00.818 there's a counter thing that happens. 00:06:00.918 --> 00:06:03.826 We begin to develop what's called a shadow. 00:06:04.762 --> 00:06:08.258 Things might be okay if we put up a false self and there's no big consequences, 00:06:08.258 --> 00:06:09.958 but that's not how it works. 00:06:09.958 --> 00:06:15.458 The false self doesn't contain our actual state of being. It doesn't carry our needs. 00:06:15.458 --> 00:06:23.991 That doesn't carry our wants, all of those things, all those things that we removed from the false self, right? 00:06:24.338 --> 00:06:27.378 Cause we put up the false self. We got to like, Oh, I'm going to take this away. 00:06:27.378 --> 00:06:31.373 I've got to hide this thing. Kind of pull this back. Can't show this. 00:06:31.463 --> 00:06:34.668 What happens at all those things that we removed from the false self? 00:06:35.370 --> 00:06:41.698 They went somewhere. They went into the shadow. And this is what I mean by the shadow. 00:06:41.698 --> 00:06:49.693 The shadow is the part of ourselves that we hide away from others and ourselves underneath our false selves. 00:06:50.584 --> 00:06:56.381 These are the things that we don't want to talk about. These are the wants, desires, needs, 00:06:56.698 --> 00:07:01.058 things that we don't want to talk about, things we don't want to even acknowledge 00:07:01.058 --> 00:07:02.674 there in our own selves. 00:07:04.177 --> 00:07:07.274 Let's talk about some examples of what the false self and the shadow might look like. 00:07:08.255 --> 00:07:14.027 Someone might want everyone to think that they're really accomplished and good at what they do. 00:07:14.027 --> 00:07:22.827 They put hard work into putting out an image so that others, that they will praise them and admire 00:07:22.827 --> 00:07:30.667 them. But if they do that, their shadow might actually be really insecure. What they actually 00:07:30.667 --> 00:07:36.507 might really want and need is not to be praised or accepted for how good they do things, they 00:07:36.507 --> 00:07:43.227 might actually just want to be praised and accepted for who they are and not what they do. 00:07:43.227 --> 00:07:47.107 Someone else might have a false self that puts on a smile for everyone around them. 00:07:47.107 --> 00:07:51.267 They try really hard to be there for everyone in their lives, but secretly they feel really 00:07:51.267 --> 00:07:54.032 lonely and they feel really sad. 00:07:54.187 --> 00:08:02.427 Your shadow wants attention and acknowledgments of some big hurts that have often been ignored. 00:08:02.427 --> 00:08:08.667 Sometimes there's this direct correlation between the shadow and the false self. 00:08:08.667 --> 00:08:16.027 Sometimes the false self is trying to get a thing that the shadow wants, but it's kind 00:08:16.027 --> 00:08:19.949 of a false way of getting it. It's kind of an indirect way of getting it. 00:08:20.976 --> 00:08:26.946 And sometimes the shadow is just a combination of all the bits and pieces that we just don't want others to see. 00:08:27.358 --> 00:08:29.046 It's the part that we don't want to talk about. 00:08:30.046 --> 00:08:36.289 So let's think about this a little bit. Let's apply this to ourselves for a moment. 00:08:36.802 --> 00:08:43.499 The false self, like particularly if you're dealing with addiction, right? The false self is when you're hiding it, right? 00:08:44.266 --> 00:08:54.846 It's the maybe you put on a really good face and And at least you think that most people don't know that you've got an addiction or a problem, right? 00:08:54.846 --> 00:09:01.486 You've put on a really good facade, that false self of having it all together. You're really happy. It's all put together. 00:09:01.966 --> 00:09:08.846 But what people don't see is the shadow. They don't see the secrets. They don't see the hiding, the sneaking, 00:09:10.155 --> 00:09:16.946 the constant thinking that you might be doing about how you can do that thing next or get your next drink, 00:09:16.946 --> 00:09:24.226 whatever your particular addiction is, right? That's the false self and that's the shadow. 00:09:24.226 --> 00:09:31.906 Maybe we feel like we need to put on a particular false self in order to make people happy. 00:09:32.859 --> 00:09:39.506 Right? We put on false selves all the time to make people happy, to just kind of skate by because, 00:09:39.601 --> 00:09:45.506 you know what? Like nobody wants to hear about my hurt, about my pain, about my past, 00:09:45.615 --> 00:09:49.026 and it's too messy, it's too bad, it's too awful. 00:09:49.144 --> 00:09:52.546 If people were to hear that about what actually happened in my past, 00:09:52.546 --> 00:09:56.226 they would be scandalized, they wouldn't want to be my friends anymore. 00:09:56.418 --> 00:10:00.388 So we hide that away and we put on that false self and we don't deal with it, right? 00:10:00.793 --> 00:10:09.266 Those are very easy, very common examples of the false self and the shadow. 00:10:09.012 --> 00:10:16.142 And we might think that the shadow is hidden from view, we might think and hope that it is, 00:10:16.790 --> 00:10:22.702 but the reality is that just because maybe people aren't immediately seeing our shadow 00:10:22.702 --> 00:10:28.382 doesn't mean that it's not having an impact on how we live our life. The shadow is often 00:10:28.382 --> 00:10:37.182 connected to any of our unhelpful behaviors or habits. If we have a shadow that is hiding behind 00:10:37.182 --> 00:10:43.182 a good performance but it secretly wants to be known and accepted, we might find the shadow is 00:10:43.182 --> 00:10:49.022 compelling us towards behaviors that actually might result in us being caught or exposed or 00:10:49.022 --> 00:10:55.182 be found out to be not as good as we want because we actually want people to know that we're not. 00:10:55.860 --> 00:11:02.674 Perfect and then for them to respond the way we hope they would but we're very afraid that they they won't, right? 00:11:04.862 --> 00:11:13.102 Shadows often cause us to behave in ways that are crazy. When we act out in a way that doesn't seem to make sense 00:11:13.102 --> 00:11:14.945 with the way that we normally act out, right? 00:11:15.662 --> 00:11:21.302 If we're like 90% of the time, we've got the false self put together and we're kind of doing things. 00:11:21.302 --> 00:11:25.765 And then like every once in a while, something kind of crazy happens, right? 00:11:26.386 --> 00:11:32.976 Well, that kind of crazy thing is probably the shadow that those parts of yourself that you've been hiding 00:11:33.057 --> 00:11:39.026 saying, hey, we're still here, we want some attention and they find a way out. 00:11:40.790 --> 00:11:46.960 If our shadow contains hurts or feelings that we don't want to address, then we might develop 00:11:46.960 --> 00:11:55.509 coping mechanisms that we use to escape or to ignore those feelings in the shadow. 00:11:56.960 --> 00:12:02.575 The things that compose our shadow want to be addressed, they don't go away. 00:12:03.140 --> 00:12:07.800 Talk about that image again of building the false self by looking at ourselves and pulling 00:12:07.800 --> 00:12:12.300 things away and adding things that aren't there, right, in order to create this image, 00:12:12.300 --> 00:12:13.702 what do we do with what's left over? 00:12:14.300 --> 00:12:16.133 We can't get rid of it because it's you. 00:12:16.980 --> 00:12:24.109 It doesn't go anywhere. It stays. And so if we're just hiding it, we're running into a problem. 00:12:24.340 --> 00:12:30.740 And so what we find is that the more we pull our false self and our shadows away from each 00:12:30.740 --> 00:12:35.956 other, the bigger and stronger the internal conflict becomes. 00:12:36.220 --> 00:12:43.860 We're given two options it seems sometimes, right? If we're saying, you know what, like I've got this false self and the more I put effort 00:12:43.860 --> 00:12:49.820 into building that false self to keeping that image, the bigger and bigger the shadow seems to get. 00:12:49.820 --> 00:12:54.260 The more I try and hide the shadow, the bigger the false self gets and the greater this tension 00:12:54.465 --> 00:12:58.020 gets as it's kind of like a rubber band that's being stretched out to its limits. 00:12:58.740 --> 00:13:03.020 That's how we feel sometimes when we're living in a really unhealthy place, like a rubber 00:13:03.020 --> 00:13:08.724 band being stretched and stretched and stretched and how long are we going to hold until we, 00:13:09.180 --> 00:13:17.020 snap, until the false self crumbles and the shadow comes out. So we've got two options. 00:13:17.825 --> 00:13:24.395 First is to double down Try harder and harder to be the best version of ourselves, right? 00:13:24.514 --> 00:13:31.595 And we might believe that well, we should be like our false self. We're like, well, yeah, that's not really who I am 00:13:31.595 --> 00:13:35.475 But that's who I should be right. Isn't that how I ought to behave? 00:13:36.195 --> 00:13:42.995 It might not be real But it's who I'm supposed to be if you have a religious background you grew up in a church you grew up in a family 00:13:42.995 --> 00:13:46.475 That went to church Maybe you grew up in a family that went to church, 00:13:47.191 --> 00:13:52.691 church on Sundays, but any time outside of being in front of people in public, you didn't 00:13:53.114 --> 00:13:56.675 act like a church, or act like a family that went to church, right? 00:13:56.675 --> 00:14:02.270 Like a lot of ugliness and secrets in the family, but a lot of putting out a performance, 00:14:02.435 --> 00:14:06.595 putting out a, this is everything put together, this is how it's all okay, this is the way 00:14:06.595 --> 00:14:08.463 it's supposed to look. 00:14:09.535 --> 00:14:14.783 This might be your, a very familiar option, right? We just need to try harder. 00:14:15.135 --> 00:14:21.455 Rid of our sin and our imperfections. Oftentimes, even our communities, even church communities, 00:14:21.715 --> 00:14:27.115 will encourage this behavior. We praise people who are seemingly able to keep themselves 00:14:27.115 --> 00:14:32.775 in line with sheer will. This might produce short-term results, but in the long term, 00:14:32.823 --> 00:14:39.827 it leaves us with lots of guilt and shame. Hidden sin abounds, and our shadows grow bigger. 00:14:40.135 --> 00:14:47.315 This is a huge deal, particularly in churches and in anyone who's been in the Christian 00:14:47.315 --> 00:14:51.135 religious circle before. 00:14:51.135 --> 00:14:59.575 Oftentimes people who kind of live the perfect Christian life on the outside get praise. 00:14:59.575 --> 00:15:03.335 They get kudos points because they read their Bible like they're supposed to, they go to 00:15:03.335 --> 00:15:09.055 Sunday every, or they go to church every Sunday, they do all the things that they're supposed to do, right? 00:15:09.994 --> 00:15:12.555 But what if that's just a false self. 00:15:13.451 --> 00:15:17.943 What if underneath of all of that, there's still a whole bunch of hidden sin? 00:15:18.701 --> 00:15:22.489 They just seem to have always had it together, they never really mess up. 00:15:23.621 --> 00:15:31.141 We praise those type of people in church oftentimes, but the problem is, is that what we might 00:15:31.141 --> 00:15:34.701 be praising is we might be praising their false self. 00:15:34.903 --> 00:15:40.736 And behind that false self is a lot of guilt, a lot of shame, a lot of hurt, a lot of fear, 00:15:41.331 --> 00:15:47.848 If people were to know what's really going on in here, I would be kicked out of the church. 00:15:48.061 --> 00:15:55.041 The other option might seem to just live the way that our shadow wants us to. 00:15:55.041 --> 00:16:02.135 This might relieve a lot of tension, but usually leads us to somewhere where we don't want to go. 00:16:02.661 --> 00:16:10.461 We talked about one option. Live into the false self. We put up a better picture, we put more makeup on, we put on better clothes, we try and behave 00:16:10.461 --> 00:16:11.389 better. 00:16:11.533 --> 00:16:17.169 Well, when we do that, there becomes a lot more shame, a lot more guilt, and the shadow becomes bigger. 00:16:17.808 --> 00:16:24.821 Well, okay, well let's just live like our shadow wants to. Let's just do whatever my impulses say. 00:16:24.821 --> 00:16:28.682 Whatever is all the things that I've been hiding and I don't want to talk about. 00:16:28.941 --> 00:16:29.646 All of that. 00:16:30.267 --> 00:16:31.590 What if I just did those things? 00:16:32.499 --> 00:16:37.741 Well, you could, but chances are is that actually is not very healthy either. 00:16:37.741 --> 00:16:42.221 Going to end up making choices that you don't want to make, that aren't in line with your 00:16:42.221 --> 00:16:47.901 values, that aren't very Christ-like, that are going to lead you away from where you're going to want to go. 00:16:47.901 --> 00:16:49.118 That's not good either. 00:16:50.342 --> 00:17:00.212 So, what then do we do? Our shadows often offer solutions that are quick fixes or are detached from the root 00:17:00.212 --> 00:17:01.001 of the problem. 00:17:01.592 --> 00:17:07.372 Our false self might cover up our dysfunctions while our shadow wants us to indulge in maybe 00:17:07.372 --> 00:17:14.672 drugs or alcohol or whatever addiction or behavior you're dealing with in a response 00:17:14.672 --> 00:17:18.752 to feelings that we're trying to not deal with, 00:17:18.752 --> 00:17:20.140 to not address. 00:17:20.851 --> 00:17:21.571 So what do we do? 00:17:22.732 --> 00:17:28.160 The false self covers up the real us and the shadow distorts the real us. 00:17:28.260 --> 00:17:31.872 Both ends of those spectrums. One is covering up the real us, 00:17:31.872 --> 00:17:36.572 the other is distorting the real us, behaving and living in a way that doesn't feel 00:17:36.572 --> 00:17:38.423 like that's actually us either. 00:17:39.712 --> 00:17:42.699 Well, the solution to this problem is to meet in the middle. 00:17:43.412 --> 00:17:48.092 The solution is to let our false self and our shadows meet in the middle. 00:17:48.344 --> 00:17:54.012 When we pull down the false self and we open up our shadow to the light of connection, 00:17:54.012 --> 00:17:59.623 forgiveness, and grace, we find that suddenly the shadow begins to shrink. 00:17:59.852 --> 00:18:08.772 If we begin to take down the mask, begin to become vulnerable and honest and open, then, 00:18:09.382 --> 00:18:11.831 And then, oh, that shadow's not as bad. 00:18:12.132 --> 00:18:17.070 And then we find a place where we can kind of bring them into the middle. 00:18:17.332 --> 00:18:23.704 We are neither as good as everyone thinks we are or as bad as we believe we are. 00:18:24.532 --> 00:18:33.692 Or vice versa. That can be flipped sometimes. I like to say that people are rarely either as good as you think they are or as evil as 00:18:33.692 --> 00:18:34.453 you think they are. 00:18:34.921 --> 00:18:53.732 They're probably somewhere in the middle. And that applies to you and me. 00:18:55.095 --> 00:19:01.874 When we open up our shadows and our false selves to genuine connection, we begin to find healing. 00:19:02.025 --> 00:19:08.401 When we start connecting both parts of ourselves to our stories, we can begin to see where did that come from? 00:19:08.725 --> 00:19:14.198 Why do I hide? Why do I hide this certain part of myself? 00:19:14.385 --> 00:19:18.625 Or why does this certain part of myself feel like such a big deal? 00:19:18.625 --> 00:19:20.770 Why do I want to be accepted so much? 00:19:21.145 --> 00:19:28.116 Why does this matter? We can start to identify the real roots of things, and we can start identifying what 00:19:28.325 --> 00:19:35.371 we really need and want, and when we do that, we can find healthy new ways to get those things. 00:19:35.605 --> 00:19:38.378 Let's talk about this from a biblical perspective for a little bit. 00:19:38.945 --> 00:19:46.225 I'm going to read for you a passage from 1 John 1, verses 5-9. 00:19:46.225 --> 00:19:51.325 This is John the Apostle saying, this is the message that we heard from him, talking about Jesus. 00:19:51.325 --> 00:19:58.325 Heard from Jesus, and we declare to you, God is light. In Him, there is no darkness at 00:19:58.325 --> 00:20:06.222 all. If we claim to have fellowship with Jesus, and yet we walk in darkness, we lie, and we 00:20:06.605 --> 00:20:12.641 do not live out the truth. But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have, 00:20:13.365 --> 00:20:19.708 fellowship with one another. And the blood of Jesus, His Son, purifies us from all sin. 00:20:19.885 --> 00:20:23.939 If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 00:20:24.765 --> 00:20:28.545 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us, and will forgive us our 00:20:28.545 --> 00:20:32.356 sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." 00:20:32.698 --> 00:20:40.098 I don't know about you, but that sounds an awful lot like a solution to that problem. 00:20:41.645 --> 00:20:47.318 Jesus is saying, if you follow me, you don't get to live in the shadows. 00:20:48.285 --> 00:20:51.324 You don't get to live with a false self and a shadow. 00:20:51.445 --> 00:20:54.249 No, no, no. Follow me means walking in the light. 00:20:55.483 --> 00:21:03.084 Following me means that you get to let the false self down a little bit and that you get to let the shadow be exposed, 00:21:03.585 --> 00:21:08.884 to the light of God to the light of forgiveness of grace of, 00:21:09.644 --> 00:21:15.702 community to the gospel and what you find is that you, 00:21:16.755 --> 00:21:21.444 Come somewhere in the middle and you experience grace you experience forgiveness 00:21:21.444 --> 00:21:25.334 You experience newness of life. 00:21:25.444 --> 00:21:33.301 See, can you see how the gospel completely disarms that tension inside of us? 00:21:33.444 --> 00:21:40.444 How it retracts that rubber band? How it says, you know what? 00:21:40.638 --> 00:21:41.349 Here's the thing. 00:21:42.444 --> 00:21:48.444 Whatever's going on in your life, whether if you have an addiction, if you have maybe a secret sin, 00:21:48.444 --> 00:21:53.430 sin, a thing that you don't want anyone to know about. The thing is, is that God 00:21:53.724 --> 00:21:59.284 knows about it, and you're not fooling Him. And the thing is, is that He sees you, 00:22:00.056 --> 00:22:05.684 sees all the things about you that you wish nobody would ever see. And you know 00:22:05.684 --> 00:22:11.844 what His response is to seeing all of those things? It's not anger. It's an 00:22:11.844 --> 00:22:21.913 invitation. It's love. It's come know me and know my love. He's saying, look, I know, 00:22:22.624 --> 00:22:30.284 that you are weak, human, humble, that you're not able to be perfect. That's the 00:22:30.284 --> 00:22:33.984 thing. We get stuck in the Christian life thinking we've got to be perfect, we got 00:22:33.984 --> 00:22:37.577 to be just exactly like so, we got to have this perfect image, and we're not. 00:22:38.388 --> 00:22:44.718 When that's not actually it. Jesus is saying, no, no, no, no. Like, I died on the cross so that you 00:22:44.718 --> 00:22:52.238 didn't have to be perfect. I died on the cross so you could be who you are right now, and that you 00:22:52.238 --> 00:22:57.998 could begin to take steps forward from there. The message of the Bible is not that we need to 00:22:57.998 --> 00:23:03.198 pretend to be a better person than we actually are. The message of the Bible is that God has 00:23:03.198 --> 00:23:10.526 enough grace for where you are right now. And when you step out of darkness, and you, 00:23:11.118 --> 00:23:17.078 step into light, that is where you find forgiveness. In that place of grace, you can actually begin 00:23:17.078 --> 00:23:21.986 to move forward. If you're in a place where you've got to fall self up, and you've got 00:23:22.373 --> 00:23:28.238 a big shadow looming behind you, trying to make any progress, it's just rubber band pulling 00:23:28.238 --> 00:23:34.558 against rubber band. You're not going anywhere. But if you can come into the grace of God. 00:23:35.291 --> 00:23:42.421 You can say, you know what? God actually has grace for where you are right now, for how much pain, 00:23:42.493 --> 00:23:48.878 suffering, hurt, how much sin is in your life. He's got enough grace for you. He can handle you 00:23:48.878 --> 00:23:57.358 where you are right now. If you can accept that, come into the light where Christ will purify you 00:23:57.358 --> 00:24:03.118 of your sins, where you confess, and He will take those sins from you. That is the promise at the 00:24:03.118 --> 00:24:08.318 end of that passage. He is faithful and just to forgive and purify you from all unrighteousness. 00:24:08.318 --> 00:24:16.478 That is a promise. And then you find that where you're at, God is okay with, and that God is 00:24:16.478 --> 00:24:24.638 willing to walk with you in the path that He's calling you down. God has enough grace for you 00:24:24.638 --> 00:24:29.358 right now. He will neither leave you there, nor will He demand that you make 00:24:29.358 --> 00:24:34.318 some sort of unrealistic leap forward. God will walk with you through each, 00:24:34.886 --> 00:24:49.278 small right next step. That's the encouragement I have for you. So I want you to take some time this week. Reflect. What are some 00:24:49.278 --> 00:24:57.311 characteristics of your false self? How would you describe the picture of yourself that you feel like you're trying to present to others? 00:24:57.401 --> 00:25:00.083 What does that look like? What is your false self look like? 00:25:01.119 --> 00:25:07.123 And then reflect on the other side of the coin. What are some characteristics of your false self's shadow? 00:25:07.744 --> 00:25:10.634 How does that shadow show itself to you? 00:25:11.120 --> 00:25:15.198 What are the indications that there are some things you're not wanting to deal 00:25:15.198 --> 00:25:16.314 with? You don't want to show people. 00:25:16.530 --> 00:25:22.758 And then, where do you see those two things in the story of your life? 00:25:23.966 --> 00:25:28.713 They didn't come out of nowhere, right? Is there a habit in your life? 00:25:28.713 --> 00:25:31.353 Was that connected to something that happened as a kid? 00:25:31.993 --> 00:25:35.993 Something that happened that your parents struggled with as well? 00:25:37.273 --> 00:25:42.034 Did it kind of come out of a place where you were experiencing a lot of hurt? Right? 00:25:42.473 --> 00:25:47.033 Where did you get this idea that you needed to perform well, 00:25:47.033 --> 00:25:50.873 that you needed to do things just right so that everybody would like you? 00:25:51.081 --> 00:25:52.566 Where did that idea come from? 00:25:52.801 --> 00:25:58.473 Where is that in your story? Look at both your shadow and your false self, identify some of the 00:25:58.473 --> 00:26:04.713 characteristics of each, and then ask yourself, where do those connect in the story of my life? 00:26:05.665 --> 00:26:09.753 We're going to continue to dig into some of these questions over the next couple of weeks, so, 00:26:10.633 --> 00:26:17.753 invite you to join me on this journey as we begin to dig in and see where are the places where God's 00:26:17.863 --> 00:26:25.113 God's grace and love want to begin to penetrate and help bring us forward so that we can experience 00:26:25.218 --> 00:26:29.908 lasting life change for our good and for God's glory. 00:26:30.113 --> 00:26:33.563 Thank you for joining me today in this conversation. 00:26:34.004 --> 00:26:37.353 You can always leave me a comment or send me a message. you can email me at. 00:26:37.360 --> 00:26:56.107 Music.