Andy and Stacie Wood on the night Stacie was scared Andy would leave, what he said back, and the one idea that has held their marriage for 23 years: it's a covenant, not a contract.
The first twelve minutes are their story: the first week of college, the year Andy spent as a cheerleader, the 18-month breakup, the summer he told her the only way she'd be part of the church he was going to plant was as his wife, and the email she ended with two words from a Nicolas Cage movie. Then the hard part: married at 21, broke, opposite personalities, and the season when home was so miserable Stacie asked what would happen if he left. From there, Andy and Stacie walk through why God calls marriage a covenant, how a covenant is different from a contract (the phone-plan story explains it), what "in sickness and in health" costs when sickness actually comes, the night Stacie locked the bedroom door and Andy quoted Scripture through it, why marriage was never meant to make you happy, and five commitments that make a covenant practical: receive your spouse as a sacred gift, put God at the center, close every side door and lock the back door, work on it instead of running from it, and love, cherish, and sacrifice for your spouse above all others. Including your kids.
Whether you're newly married, decades in, or carrying a hard story into a second marriage, this one is for you.
ONE THING TO DO THIS WEEK
Tell your spouse the sentence Andy asked the room to say: "You are the most important person on planet Earth to me." Then close one door. If there's a conversation, a friendship, or an account your spouse doesn't have access to, hand it over this week. And if it's been a hard season, say the three words from the end of the prayer: "You have my yes again."
RESOURCES MENTIONED
The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller
Let Me Be a Woman by Elisabeth Elliot
The Purpose Driven Church by Rick Warren
CHAPTERS
0:00 Coming up
0:54 Welcome: a bonus episode from the marriage retreat
1:31 How Andy and Stacie met
3:03 Andy the college cheerleader
5:03 The breakup: 18 months
6:09 Venezuela, Cambodia, and the ex-boyfriend
7:28 "The only way you'll be a part of it is if you're my wife"
9:06 Two weeks to pray
10:04 The movie night that decided it
12:19 "I choose us"
12:53 Married at 21: the first five years
13:32 Why marriage and family are the need of the hour
15:11 Covenant: what sets a marriage apart
16:20 Genesis 2: bone of my bones
17:57 Matthew 19: Jesus reaffirms the design
19:28 A biblical definition of marriage, and second chances
21:50 Covenant is the language of God
23:51 The cross is the picture of marriage
25:35 The hardest season: "what if he left?"
28:35 Contract vs. covenant: the phone-plan story
29:52 Tim Keller: vows are a promise of future love
30:19 Four differences between a contract and a covenant
31:35 "In sickness and in health" is part of the vow
34:18 The husband who stayed up all night for his sick wife
36:11 The locked door
37:14 The other side of covenant: "we better make it better"
38:20 Marriage doesn't exist for your happiness
39:02 Elisabeth Elliot: marriage is dynamic, not static
40:19 Commitment 1: Receive your spouse as a sacred gift
41:10 Get around a widow
43:12 Commitment 2: Put God at the center
43:41 Commitment 3: Close every side door, lock the back door
45:03 "I will never have a meal alone with a woman"
46:46 Text threads, passwords, and your location
48:56 Commitment 4: Work on it, don't run from it
49:37 Who apologizes first? Stay at the table
51:38 Commitment 5: Love, cherish, and sacrifice above all others
53:37 If you're hanging on by a thread
54:41 A prayer over your marriage
58:56 Thanks for joining us
SCRIPTURE IN THIS EPISODE
Genesis 2:22-24 · Matthew 19:4-6 · Malachi
2:14 · Ephesians
4:26 · Proverbs
19:11 · Ecclesiastes 7:2
Stronger is recorded at Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, California. This episode was recorded live at Saddleback's marriage retreat. Wherever you're listening from, this is for you too. Find a campus or join online:
https://saddleback.comYou were never meant to be strong on your own.
#StrongerWithAndyWood #AndyWood #StacieWood #Saddleback #Marriage
What is Stronger with Andy Wood?
Welcome to Stronger with Andy Wood. Life is heavy, and you were never meant to carry it on your own. Every week, Andy Wood, lead pastor of Saddleback Church, hosts honest conversations about building a stronger faith, family, and community. Each episode picks up where the weekend message leaves off, because there's always more to say than a weekend allows, and gets practical about living it out in your home and relationships. Real questions, real stories, and one next step you can take this week.
New episodes every Monday, recorded at Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, California. Wherever you're listening from, this is for you too.