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think about our country

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so if you look at our country like okay

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well what if that's what families were up to

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what if a family had a mother and a father

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that was using their passion to fulfill their purposes

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and then

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they were able to articulate all of the language

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and all of the frameworks that they used to do it

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to their children

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so that they can raise their children

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see who's you know what I'm talking about

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like that is a very powerful country

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that supersedes warfare and any

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everything like that as far as I'm concerned

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because that is the core of human existence

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and that's what makes this country strong

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it feels like that is what has made the country strong

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the way and it feels like maybe that's a skill that is

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that is slipping through our fingers now

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and we need to get it back

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welcome back to the Raising Men podcast

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Today's episode is a special one for me

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not just because of our guest

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but because

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his work is part of the very foundation of this show

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Eric Davis is a decorated US Navy seal

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a master sniper instructor

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and the best selling author of Raising Men

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Lessons Navy Seals Learned from their training

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and taught to their sons

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long before this podcast existed

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his book helped shape many of the principles

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we talk about on the show resilience

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clarity purpose

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discipline and the unshakable role fathers play

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in developing strong

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and emotionally grounded young men

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this conversation gets to the core

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of why this podcast exists

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so let's get on to it Eric welcome to Raising Men

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ah thank you

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glad to be here well

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let's dive right into it you know

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the reason that this podcast exists is because

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I believe that there's a masculinity crisis

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and um

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you I think

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came from the same place

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when you started writing your book of the

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same name

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and now you've got three daughters and one son

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but you decided to focus on raising men

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as opposed to just raising kids why did you do that

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oh so

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that would have to come from

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what happened to myself and my father

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so when I was about 15 or 16 years old

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this story is in the book

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Raising Men as a matter of fact

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but I'd come downstairs in our house

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where we lived in Foster City

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it's up in the Bay Area and around the corner

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and my parents were waiting there for me

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and how the story goes is my dad goes hey

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I'm sick and I have to go to the hospital to get better

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and what had happened was he was suffering from like

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some pretty severe mental illness

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I think they called it at the time clinical depression

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so there was some chemistry that was off

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uh and then he went into a series of treatments

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of electric shop shop therapy at Stanford

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and this was back you know

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in the 80s so it wasn't super uh

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kind yeah

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it wasn't that wasn't coming

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it was yeah

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not at all so for all intents and purposes

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I lost my father and my father was everything to me

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I was my father was the bishop of our church

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he was the captain of our sheriff's department

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all I ever was gonna do was following his footsteps

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and when he got sick

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I at that age

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how I how I describe it is

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I was too young to be without a father

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but I was just old

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enough to know that I still needed one

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yeah and that sent me on a search

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and then I had an older brother

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who ended up being an addict

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I had a former father in law that was killed

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prematurely and um

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just as you go through life

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you know there's a male and a female role

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when it comes to raising a kid

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and I started to feel the impacts of having

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lost that masculine role uh

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in my life really

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we're right at one of the most important times

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you know 15

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16 that's when a father

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typically

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is gonna drop the hammer with some of your behavior

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right so that's how

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that's how it all started

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wow that's fascinating

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now how

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you know would you agree with me that that

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that there's kind of a masculinity crisis going on

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well uh yeah

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it it is for this reason

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that I cannot go on social media

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without a very tight algorithm

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like I have to I gotta make sure it's very careful

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not notched down to a fun thing really

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really curate your feed with that yeah

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you really have to curate your feed

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otherwise you'll be driven mad

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oh yeah

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it it'll freak you out

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but yeah there definitely is um

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there's a big problem with masculinity

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and the problem is

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is everybody's operating from an antiquated system

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so

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it's what I would describe as traditional masculinity

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and here's the problem the biggest problem

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it is a one size fits all kind of a deal

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so we have all these young men

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these boys on social media

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the messages that are getting fed to them

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are all over the place

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and the masculine role models are

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the more masculine channels

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they're still operating with the old school stuff

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you know it's grow a beard

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hop in a chill you know

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what is it called an ice bath

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it's it's gun

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gun gun

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it's like this physical this physical uh

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presentation of man

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which is a totally legitimate form of masculinity

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back in a time where our primary role was protect hunt

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fight you know

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things like that and not that

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we don't still need that type of masculinity

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but now the world has changed

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it's more competitive it's more dynamic

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and it requires a lot of creativity

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it requires a lot of ability to sit down and design

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so now we have young men

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who might find themselves in front of a computer

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or a video game

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and there's some negative things that can happen

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from that but there's some

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also very positive things that can happen from that

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they understand how to focus

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they know how to get into flow

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they can continuously create hour after hour

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so now these kind of kids and probably a five

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you know probably a couple hundred

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other variations that don't fit that normal

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traditional masculinity

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they're left with no nothing to hold on to right

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if all they got is a bearded dude

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jacking a bunch of weights

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and jumping in a cold bathtub

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they're like well wait

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where do I go where's my masculine role model

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and I think that's a big reason

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a lot of these poor guys are left

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really questioning themselves

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in a way

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that leaves them vulnerable to what's suggested

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on social media

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so it's a failed it's a failed um

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model not because it was broken

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but because the environment has changed

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and if you think about this

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this was something I Learned or yeah

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Learned not too long ago somebody

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was describing women as the ones who get to choose

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who procreates

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and it like blew my mind um

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because I know

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women will talk about not being empowered and

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and things like that but for me

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I've always had tremendous amount of respect for women

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they've always been very powerful to me

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but I lost my father so my mother was everything to me

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yeah

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so my point there is if women are choosing who they

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lack of a better term breed with well

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now we're gonna start getting different breeds

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of young men

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they're going to be breeding with the creatives

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they're gonna be breeding with

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some of them who might be more sensitive

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and they need something to hold on to

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and that's what everything

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the second book

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is the framework

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for what I would consider modern masculinity

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and everything I teach online

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all of my courses

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everything I do is geared towards that

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so how do you define a modern healthy masculinity

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so I'll speak it in well no

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here's how I would define it

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the reason why I paused right there is

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I also believe this sentence would apply to femininity

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like feminine side sure

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except for well

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you'll see why

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so here's what I believe the role of a father is

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the role of a man I believe

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the role of a father

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is to learn how to use his passions

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to harmoniously fulfill and care for his personal

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financial and professional purposes

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so if you break that sentence down

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and I'll do it real quick and we dig in if you want

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when I say use passion sometimes that's referred to

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if you're in the spiritual world

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they're gonna say it's your gifts

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some people will call it the talents

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but when I talk about passions

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which we can unpack but what I'm talking about is

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if you're inside of your passion

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you are living your authentic self

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so now this is important

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so now matter what the young man or even a young group

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lady whatever they got going on

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if they're using passion as a guide

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then they know

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they're operating inside of their authentic self

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now here's the other part

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because we're in a competitive environment

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passion isn't something

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you get to do after you're already wealthy

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after you've already made it because it's competitive

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we need to be operating in passion

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because it's the only way we can produce the incomes

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which are quite large nowadays

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that we require to survive now

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in the 30+ years of old age

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when we can no longer work

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so when I take passion into the fulfillment of purposes

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the whole how do we say it

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everything is now covered personal financial

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professional purposes and I say Harmon

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harmoniously care for those things

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and that's the other side of traditional masculinity

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what the male job used to be was sacrifice everything

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come home drink a beer

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ignore little Johnny and that was it

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and now we see a bunch of father figures

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not able to compete

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so now they're living this lackluster life

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and then their sons and their daughters

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but then their sons can't look at them as the example

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it's called tertiary competitors

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now we have online

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we have people online who are polished

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and they've already been through the algorithm

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so the things they get to see is

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already passed the test of being interesting

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and engaging yeah

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so now they're now they end up following

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kind of like a false prophet there

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so that would be my definition of modern masculinity

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using our passions

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to harmoniously care for all of our purposes

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and if you take that sentence

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you can't go wrong

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I love that formulation I absolutely love it

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and it and it

279
00:10:15,466 --> 00:10:16,216
it it

280
00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:20,866
it marries up masculinity and femininity in a way that

281
00:10:20,866 --> 00:10:24,416
I haven't really seen that done before it

282
00:10:24,416 --> 00:10:25,216
it it

283
00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:29,500
because that that does apply regardless of gender

284
00:10:29,500 --> 00:10:34,666
but it respects the differences in um

285
00:10:34,666 --> 00:10:36,416
in the individuals right

286
00:10:36,416 --> 00:10:38,733
and I just absolutely love that formulation

287
00:10:38,733 --> 00:10:39,733
it's very very powerful

288
00:10:39,733 --> 00:10:41,700
thank you for sharing it yeah

289
00:10:41,700 --> 00:10:42,500
no absolutely

290
00:10:42,500 --> 00:10:45,916
and it does it doesn't only respects the

291
00:10:46,100 --> 00:10:48,466
the specific kind of human that person is

292
00:10:48,466 --> 00:10:52,916
it requires it so pulls them forward from all the muck

293
00:10:53,016 --> 00:10:55,183
all of the muck that they're getting surrounded

294
00:10:55,183 --> 00:10:56,916
if you give a young man

295
00:10:56,933 --> 00:10:58,833
then they start to lock onto a purpose

296
00:10:58,866 --> 00:11:00,333
purpose is powerful

297
00:11:00,333 --> 00:11:02,266
purpose is what allows you to say no to things

298
00:11:02,266 --> 00:11:04,216
it clears everything up because you're like no

299
00:11:04,216 --> 00:11:06,766
that's my purpose this is where I'm going

300
00:11:06,783 --> 00:11:08,416
and then when we add the passion thing

301
00:11:08,416 --> 00:11:09,100
it's like OK

302
00:11:09,100 --> 00:11:10,583
all of the muck will start to fall away

303
00:11:10,583 --> 00:11:12,066
it takes a little bit of time

304
00:11:12,066 --> 00:11:13,800
and for fathers it takes

305
00:11:14,166 --> 00:11:16,183
you know probably a good year of study

306
00:11:16,183 --> 00:11:17,500
this is no small you know

307
00:11:17,500 --> 00:11:19,666
it's not like going into a martial arts studio

308
00:11:19,666 --> 00:11:20,533
and getting your black belt

309
00:11:20,533 --> 00:11:21,966
this is more like your GI suit

310
00:11:22,100 --> 00:11:23,733
so it it takes some work

311
00:11:23,733 --> 00:11:25,566
but the the

312
00:11:25,666 --> 00:11:26,900
the important thing I think

313
00:11:26,900 --> 00:11:28,533
or the powerful thing for fathers

314
00:11:28,533 --> 00:11:29,983
and they don't realize this

315
00:11:29,983 --> 00:11:31,583
it's one of those things that

316
00:11:31,583 --> 00:11:33,933
it's like you put energy into your passion

317
00:11:33,933 --> 00:11:35,416
and your purpose well

318
00:11:35,416 --> 00:11:37,416
you start increasing your deployable

319
00:11:37,416 --> 00:11:38,583
levels of time and energy

320
00:11:38,583 --> 00:11:40,400
because it makes you more competitive

321
00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:41,216
um and again

322
00:11:41,216 --> 00:11:43,066
that's important because now they're available

323
00:11:43,066 --> 00:11:44,583
now they're living a good and healthy life

324
00:11:44,583 --> 00:11:45,633
to show their son

325
00:11:46,216 --> 00:11:48,816
so yes it does respect who the individual is

326
00:11:48,816 --> 00:11:50,716
but also requires it too

327
00:11:51,466 --> 00:11:52,016
you know in your

328
00:11:52,016 --> 00:11:54,166
in your book Raising Men

329
00:11:54,183 --> 00:11:57,083
you talk about the lessons that

330
00:11:57,100 --> 00:12:00,816
that seals pass on to to their sons or or

331
00:12:00,816 --> 00:12:03,116
or you talk about the lessons that you got

332
00:12:03,133 --> 00:12:04,533
from your seal training

333
00:12:04,533 --> 00:12:07,400
that you are attempting to pass on to your son

334
00:12:07,583 --> 00:12:10,883
what are some of the top two or three lessons that

335
00:12:11,066 --> 00:12:12,633
every father can apply

336
00:12:12,816 --> 00:12:14,616
whether or not they have a military background

337
00:12:14,616 --> 00:12:18,300
I'm I'm sure that not everybody needs to tie their uh

338
00:12:18,300 --> 00:12:19,500
their son's hands and feet

339
00:12:19,500 --> 00:12:21,166
and throw them into the deep end of a pool

340
00:12:22,533 --> 00:12:23,483
no

341
00:12:24,016 --> 00:12:26,300
not at all but I'll start with that

342
00:12:26,300 --> 00:12:28,133
um so I've had some

343
00:12:28,133 --> 00:12:29,500
some comments or feedback

344
00:12:29,500 --> 00:12:31,716
about some of the things they talk about in the book

345
00:12:31,983 --> 00:12:35,033
uh my favorite story is my son was sharing there

346
00:12:35,466 --> 00:12:38,416
there's a story about him not doing his homework

347
00:12:38,416 --> 00:12:40,500
and his skateboard got smashed against a rock

348
00:12:40,500 --> 00:12:41,016
he got

349
00:12:41,016 --> 00:12:43,783
he got with his PlayStation in the pool during winter

350
00:12:43,783 --> 00:12:45,483
and California is not super cold

351
00:12:45,583 --> 00:12:48,383
but it was a cold and he had to go in and get it

352
00:12:48,383 --> 00:12:51,566
there's and one of his friends was like uh

353
00:12:52,066 --> 00:12:54,333
I think that's abuse yeah

354
00:12:54,333 --> 00:12:57,166
I remember those stories I think they're

355
00:12:57,266 --> 00:12:58,566
they're delightful stories

356
00:12:59,333 --> 00:13:00,133
yeah but

357
00:13:00,133 --> 00:13:01,466
but here's what I just jumped

358
00:13:01,466 --> 00:13:02,983
the dog pile on that we were talking about

359
00:13:02,983 --> 00:13:04,483
the time that the thing

360
00:13:05,300 --> 00:13:06,333
the kids it

361
00:13:06,333 --> 00:13:08,583
there's a whole bunch of behavior science I

362
00:13:08,583 --> 00:13:10,133
I I had a Belgian Malinois

363
00:13:10,133 --> 00:13:12,466
I trained her to be a Protection dog um

364
00:13:12,466 --> 00:13:14,366
it was from Mike Ruddlin's pipeline

365
00:13:14,616 --> 00:13:16,600
um and I Learned so much there

366
00:13:16,600 --> 00:13:17,983
so I think

367
00:13:17,983 --> 00:13:20,300
one of the most important things a parent can do is

368
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:22,000
understand behavior science and

369
00:13:22,266 --> 00:13:24,466
and I do talk it's like tongue in cheek when I say

370
00:13:24,466 --> 00:13:26,500
raise your kid like a dog um

371
00:13:26,500 --> 00:13:28,500
but if you've ever been around dog trainers

372
00:13:28,500 --> 00:13:30,016
they're crazy I mean

373
00:13:30,016 --> 00:13:32,016
they have spreadsheets that measure their

374
00:13:32,016 --> 00:13:35,433
that will assess the level of joy that their treat

375
00:13:35,733 --> 00:13:36,933
right that their reward

376
00:13:36,933 --> 00:13:38,816
I'm like good Lord that you guys are nutty

377
00:13:38,816 --> 00:13:41,900
but I appreciate it because now I can learn from you

378
00:13:41,900 --> 00:13:42,666
so you know

379
00:13:42,666 --> 00:13:44,983
tying their feet things like that

380
00:13:44,983 --> 00:13:47,100
what's important to understand is that

381
00:13:47,100 --> 00:13:49,133
that was all within their limits right

382
00:13:49,133 --> 00:13:50,733
I was their coach I was their trainer

383
00:13:50,733 --> 00:13:51,583
I was their father

384
00:13:51,583 --> 00:13:54,383
I know how far I can go before they get scared

385
00:13:54,383 --> 00:13:55,866
I know you're or scared

386
00:13:55,866 --> 00:13:56,933
being scared is OK

387
00:13:56,933 --> 00:13:59,366
and because you can build courage with some fear

388
00:13:59,416 --> 00:14:01,133
but I know if I go too far that

389
00:14:01,133 --> 00:14:02,866
that fear will stick right

390
00:14:02,866 --> 00:14:04,533
we'll lose the opportunity to produce courage

391
00:14:04,533 --> 00:14:06,583
and will produce trauma um

392
00:14:06,583 --> 00:14:08,616
so from a context of behavior science

393
00:14:08,616 --> 00:14:09,900
and really understanding your kid

394
00:14:09,900 --> 00:14:11,633
and the way you really understand them

395
00:14:11,700 --> 00:14:12,333
for me

396
00:14:12,333 --> 00:14:16,100
is to be outdoors and doing a lot of kind of adventure

397
00:14:16,100 --> 00:14:19,316
athlete stuff nothing as extreme as people think

398
00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:21,183
it's just like for instance

399
00:14:21,183 --> 00:14:22,583
I was just with my grandkids

400
00:14:22,583 --> 00:14:24,333
and I threw a climbing rope over a tree

401
00:14:24,333 --> 00:14:26,016
put him in I had to tie the harness

402
00:14:26,016 --> 00:14:28,933
I think they called a ranger seat and I chucked him

403
00:14:28,933 --> 00:14:30,533
you know he's swinging from the tree

404
00:14:30,533 --> 00:14:31,100
but you know

405
00:14:31,100 --> 00:14:32,200
people like oh

406
00:14:32,216 --> 00:14:33,700
you know dangling your grandkid

407
00:14:33,700 --> 00:14:35,500
or your son from a tree and tossing him

408
00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:36,733
that's extreme but you know what

409
00:14:36,733 --> 00:14:38,633
really it's not it's more safe than a swing

410
00:14:38,783 --> 00:14:41,216
it's just cooler that you know what I mean

411
00:14:41,216 --> 00:14:42,816
it's much cooler yeah

412
00:14:42,816 --> 00:14:44,366
and you get to see how they react

413
00:14:45,016 --> 00:14:46,216
I love that yeah

414
00:14:46,216 --> 00:14:47,016
I uh

415
00:14:47,533 --> 00:14:49,533
you know it seems to me that

416
00:14:49,533 --> 00:14:52,216
that much of seal training

417
00:14:52,216 --> 00:14:56,416
and a lot of what you talk about in Raising Men is

418
00:14:56,416 --> 00:15:00,233
it revolves around developing resilience

419
00:15:00,933 --> 00:15:02,816
and so first of all would you agree with that

420
00:15:02,816 --> 00:15:03,466
and second of all

421
00:15:03,466 --> 00:15:07,133
how do you develop resilience in training

422
00:15:07,133 --> 00:15:08,066
and how did that

423
00:15:08,066 --> 00:15:10,400
how does that translate into your parenting style

424
00:15:12,266 --> 00:15:14,833
so when we're talking about resilience

425
00:15:14,933 --> 00:15:17,416
um we also have to talk about perseverance

426
00:15:17,416 --> 00:15:19,483
at the same time and here's what I mean

427
00:15:19,666 --> 00:15:21,683
so when we're persevering

428
00:15:21,900 --> 00:15:24,866
that's basically sustained effort right

429
00:15:24,866 --> 00:15:26,733
despite difficulty or failure

430
00:15:26,733 --> 00:15:29,066
persevering by its nature

431
00:15:29,066 --> 00:15:29,866
means

432
00:15:29,866 --> 00:15:32,283
we're going to get tired and a little bit beat up

433
00:15:33,016 --> 00:15:34,883
so we gotta start there

434
00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:36,666
because then when we go to resilience

435
00:15:36,666 --> 00:15:37,900
well what is resilience

436
00:15:37,900 --> 00:15:39,183
resilience is the ability

437
00:15:39,183 --> 00:15:40,366
either maintain

438
00:15:40,416 --> 00:15:43,966
and or restore your capacity to take action

439
00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:47,800
so perseverance could be us getting after something and

440
00:15:47,933 --> 00:15:49,500
right and we get worn out and tired

441
00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:51,933
and then resilience is to be able to recover from that

442
00:15:51,933 --> 00:15:53,100
and come back the next day

443
00:15:53,100 --> 00:15:56,183
as strong or stronger yeah

444
00:15:56,183 --> 00:15:59,933
so if you just take that definition and break it down

445
00:15:59,933 --> 00:16:02,016
and I would encourage this for all parents as well

446
00:16:02,016 --> 00:16:05,083
like all of these words we kind of throw around and use

447
00:16:05,183 --> 00:16:06,183
look it up chat

448
00:16:06,183 --> 00:16:07,266
GPT it however

449
00:16:07,266 --> 00:16:10,533
you do start to really understand these words

450
00:16:10,533 --> 00:16:14,516
and pull them apart so how do we form resilience

451
00:16:14,700 --> 00:16:16,183
well we have to understand

452
00:16:16,183 --> 00:16:18,183
that we're trying to maintain our capacity

453
00:16:18,183 --> 00:16:20,683
or recover so like in seal training

454
00:16:21,183 --> 00:16:23,016
you start to learn things like you run

455
00:16:23,016 --> 00:16:24,650
they run you in soft sand a lot

456
00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:26,466
I don't know if you've ever ran in soft sand

457
00:16:26,466 --> 00:16:28,500
I have I used to play beach volleyball

458
00:16:28,500 --> 00:16:30,633
so did a lot of running in soft sand

459
00:16:30,700 --> 00:16:34,683
it's about three times as difficult as running normally

460
00:16:34,983 --> 00:16:36,616
oh yeah for sure

461
00:16:36,616 --> 00:16:36,900
and then

462
00:16:36,900 --> 00:16:39,616
if you become aware that you're running it soft sand

463
00:16:39,616 --> 00:16:40,700
rather than the hard pack

464
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:42,383
then it gets five times and you're like wait

465
00:16:42,383 --> 00:16:44,266
look into it the more you pay attention to it

466
00:16:44,266 --> 00:16:46,183
the harder it gets right

467
00:16:46,183 --> 00:16:47,700
yeah so maintaining

468
00:16:47,700 --> 00:16:49,216
so there's little things a lot of

469
00:16:49,216 --> 00:16:50,783
there's something called you're not cheating

470
00:16:50,783 --> 00:16:51,916
you're not trying

471
00:16:52,066 --> 00:16:54,133
and there's all kinds of context for that

472
00:16:54,133 --> 00:16:55,583
in seal training but like

473
00:16:55,583 --> 00:16:58,100
these are things like when I would run in soft sand

474
00:16:58,100 --> 00:16:59,866
I would look for maybe a tire track

475
00:16:59,866 --> 00:17:01,100
or I would look for where somebody else

476
00:17:01,100 --> 00:17:03,583
foot ahead of me already struck right

477
00:17:03,583 --> 00:17:04,616
because I'm resilient

478
00:17:04,616 --> 00:17:07,500
but part of resilience is maintaining my ability to act

479
00:17:08,216 --> 00:17:10,866
going out on the boats they put us in these IBS

480
00:17:10,866 --> 00:17:12,183
inflatable boats small

481
00:17:12,183 --> 00:17:14,066
that's how the Navy names some things

482
00:17:14,066 --> 00:17:16,183
sometimes out in waves right

483
00:17:16,183 --> 00:17:18,533
and guys got paddles and they're not necessarily

484
00:17:18,533 --> 00:17:20,433
they didn't necessarily grow up as surfing

485
00:17:20,683 --> 00:17:23,216
so resilience might mean maintaining

486
00:17:23,216 --> 00:17:25,266
not getting the paddle wrapped around your head

487
00:17:25,266 --> 00:17:26,366
by bailing

488
00:17:26,500 --> 00:17:28,816
before guys start flailing with their paddles

489
00:17:28,816 --> 00:17:29,900
whatever it is

490
00:17:29,900 --> 00:17:33,783
there's obstacle courses where the logs roll right

491
00:17:33,783 --> 00:17:35,816
again resilience is not getting hurt

492
00:17:35,816 --> 00:17:37,133
not falling off with things

493
00:17:37,133 --> 00:17:39,333
so maintenance is a big piece of resilience

494
00:17:39,333 --> 00:17:40,533
and resilience is a skill

495
00:17:40,533 --> 00:17:43,000
it's not some trait it's not something we're born with

496
00:17:43,100 --> 00:17:43,983
yeah now

497
00:17:43,983 --> 00:17:45,733
here's the most interesting thing about resilience

498
00:17:45,733 --> 00:17:48,000
I think when you're talking about seal training

499
00:17:48,383 --> 00:17:49,783
I was a corpsman in the Navy

500
00:17:49,783 --> 00:17:51,433
which means I was their medic

501
00:17:51,783 --> 00:17:53,933
I was a corpsman in Marine reconnaissance

502
00:17:53,933 --> 00:17:55,466
that is their special operations

503
00:17:55,466 --> 00:17:56,416
now I believe they're

504
00:17:56,416 --> 00:17:58,866
that's all connected to Special Forces as well

505
00:17:58,866 --> 00:18:01,100
so I had a lot of experience um

506
00:18:01,100 --> 00:18:02,800
and the instructors knew that

507
00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:06,266
so I was seeing and treating guys in my buds class

508
00:18:06,266 --> 00:18:07,016
which is seal

509
00:18:07,016 --> 00:18:11,216
basic seal training and um fully treating uh

510
00:18:11,216 --> 00:18:12,700
like I said ton of experience

511
00:18:12,700 --> 00:18:16,966
and one of the most interesting things I noticed was uh

512
00:18:17,533 --> 00:18:19,566
secret kind of crafty

513
00:18:19,666 --> 00:18:20,583
how about this uh

514
00:18:20,583 --> 00:18:22,433
maybe the word would be clandestine

515
00:18:22,733 --> 00:18:24,116
um okay covert

516
00:18:24,266 --> 00:18:26,766
covert covert way they would quit

517
00:18:26,933 --> 00:18:30,366
and how they would quit is they would not recover

518
00:18:30,416 --> 00:18:31,983
meaning they wouldn't take the motrin

519
00:18:31,983 --> 00:18:33,866
they wouldn't do the the physical therapy

520
00:18:33,866 --> 00:18:36,783
they wouldn't do the the uh contrast baths

521
00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:39,366
the massage the ice rubs like you name it

522
00:18:39,466 --> 00:18:41,933
they wouldn't do it and at the time it blew me away

523
00:18:41,933 --> 00:18:43,533
and then I really it was not really

524
00:18:43,533 --> 00:18:45,416
until I got into the world of business

525
00:18:45,416 --> 00:18:46,716
and entrepreneurship

526
00:18:46,900 --> 00:18:49,383
that I started to see other people do it

527
00:18:49,383 --> 00:18:51,216
in different ways um

528
00:18:51,216 --> 00:18:52,100
and what that means is

529
00:18:52,100 --> 00:18:53,883
they're gonna run themselves into the ground

530
00:18:54,216 --> 00:18:55,933
um so that they don't have to continue

531
00:18:55,933 --> 00:18:57,200
because in seal training

532
00:18:57,733 --> 00:19:00,383
they're very careful not to run you into the ground

533
00:19:00,383 --> 00:19:02,266
because once you run a human body into the ground

534
00:19:02,266 --> 00:19:05,600
they can't keep going so they want to keep you going

535
00:19:05,733 --> 00:19:08,066
so resilience has a whole lot to

536
00:19:08,066 --> 00:19:10,733
it's a skill set and you're maintaining your capacity

537
00:19:10,733 --> 00:19:12,366
and you're making sure that you recover

538
00:19:12,466 --> 00:19:14,433
you you've got this great scene in the book

539
00:19:14,533 --> 00:19:17,233
where you talk about

540
00:19:17,816 --> 00:19:20,500
the mental aspect of resilience there

541
00:19:20,500 --> 00:19:23,383
and you you describe a situation where I

542
00:19:23,383 --> 00:19:24,866
and this is my recollection

543
00:19:24,866 --> 00:19:26,733
it's been a little while since I read this passage

544
00:19:26,733 --> 00:19:28,033
but um

545
00:19:29,100 --> 00:19:30,900
it was early in the morning and it was cold

546
00:19:30,900 --> 00:19:32,616
and you were looking out at the sea and you were

547
00:19:32,616 --> 00:19:34,733
you knew that you were about to have to go

548
00:19:34,733 --> 00:19:35,966
for a long swim

549
00:19:36,216 --> 00:19:40,733
and because you had been a surfer and because you

550
00:19:40,733 --> 00:19:42,666
you were you were jazzed up about it

551
00:19:42,666 --> 00:19:44,300
you were looking forward to it almost

552
00:19:44,300 --> 00:19:46,066
I mean it was gonna be unpleasant physically

553
00:19:46,066 --> 00:19:47,133
but you were you

554
00:19:47,133 --> 00:19:50,000
your mental state was one of excitement

555
00:19:50,133 --> 00:19:54,200
and your compadre next to you

556
00:19:54,416 --> 00:19:57,300
ended up getting so much anxiety

557
00:19:57,300 --> 00:19:59,666
looking at that and feeling like

558
00:19:59,666 --> 00:20:03,783
anticipating the the horribleness of it

559
00:20:03,783 --> 00:20:05,933
that he ended up tapping out right then and there

560
00:20:05,933 --> 00:20:07,100
he couldn't he couldn't take it

561
00:20:07,100 --> 00:20:10,033
and he decided to quit before it even got

562
00:20:10,100 --> 00:20:12,300
before they even got in the water and

563
00:20:12,300 --> 00:20:14,533
and that's that

564
00:20:14,533 --> 00:20:15,616
that's an example of

565
00:20:15,616 --> 00:20:16,866
of what you're talking about for me

566
00:20:16,866 --> 00:20:18,100
and it's a beautiful scene in that book

567
00:20:18,100 --> 00:20:18,900
I thought

568
00:20:19,933 --> 00:20:20,616
yeah I

569
00:20:20,616 --> 00:20:22,400
it's it's my um

570
00:20:22,700 --> 00:20:26,633
I'm probably most known for that kind of thinking

571
00:20:26,733 --> 00:20:27,583
um and again

572
00:20:27,583 --> 00:20:29,016
if we're talking about resilience

573
00:20:29,016 --> 00:20:30,100
there's you know

574
00:20:30,100 --> 00:20:32,033
80 guys on the beach

575
00:20:32,066 --> 00:20:34,416
who are having to deal with the mental trauma

576
00:20:34,416 --> 00:20:36,433
of getting back in the cold water

577
00:20:36,616 --> 00:20:37,700
there was two of us

578
00:20:37,700 --> 00:20:40,500
myself and a gentleman named Chris Campbell um

579
00:20:40,500 --> 00:20:43,883
he passed away in Team 6 amazing guy

580
00:20:43,983 --> 00:20:45,666
there's two of us that would kind of joke

581
00:20:45,666 --> 00:20:47,600
you know make fun of the other guys

582
00:20:47,866 --> 00:20:48,216
um

583
00:20:48,216 --> 00:20:52,133
and that's a great example of maintaining our capacity

584
00:20:52,133 --> 00:20:53,300
that's part of resilience

585
00:20:53,300 --> 00:20:54,183
during third phase

586
00:20:54,183 --> 00:20:57,316
we were out in the island the entire time

587
00:20:57,516 --> 00:20:58,466
we're out there for a month

588
00:20:58,466 --> 00:21:01,983
the entire time I would we get up early and that's jeez

589
00:21:01,983 --> 00:21:03,533
you go through Hell Week everything like that

590
00:21:03,533 --> 00:21:04,666
you think it's the Pinnacle

591
00:21:04,666 --> 00:21:05,983
then you realize like nope

592
00:21:05,983 --> 00:21:07,616
Hell Week was just to get you used to

593
00:21:07,616 --> 00:21:08,783
what's about to happen to you

594
00:21:08,783 --> 00:21:10,133
for the next four months right

595
00:21:10,133 --> 00:21:11,800
and then wow the island

596
00:21:11,816 --> 00:21:14,766
is a 30 day culmination of that kind of thing

597
00:21:14,900 --> 00:21:16,616
so it's rough but every morning I was like

598
00:21:16,616 --> 00:21:17,383
hey guys I thought

599
00:21:17,383 --> 00:21:19,100
I think this instructors were drinking last night

600
00:21:19,100 --> 00:21:20,866
I think we're good we're not even gonna PT this morning

601
00:21:20,866 --> 00:21:21,983
so don't even sweat it

602
00:21:21,983 --> 00:21:23,783
and there's a guys that would get on board with me

603
00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:25,933
and again we're being resilient

604
00:21:25,933 --> 00:21:27,816
cause we're not dealing with any of that trauma

605
00:21:27,816 --> 00:21:30,016
that's about to ensue that's about to occur

606
00:21:30,016 --> 00:21:31,133
I I don't know what to say

607
00:21:31,133 --> 00:21:31,866
and I I don't

608
00:21:31,866 --> 00:21:33,183
I is it a Mark Twain thing

609
00:21:33,183 --> 00:21:34,716
but like half the worries are

610
00:21:34,783 --> 00:21:35,783
most of our worries

611
00:21:35,783 --> 00:21:38,566
are things that are never gonna happen um

612
00:21:39,300 --> 00:21:41,733
so just take it protects your brain

613
00:21:41,733 --> 00:21:44,516
and it's part of that maintaining your capacity

614
00:21:44,733 --> 00:21:47,066
yeah I heard a quote one time

615
00:21:47,066 --> 00:21:48,300
and I love the way that they put it and

616
00:21:48,300 --> 00:21:50,666
and I I wish I knew what the source was

617
00:21:50,666 --> 00:21:51,800
but it is uh

618
00:21:51,983 --> 00:21:54,166
don't borrow suffering from the future

619
00:21:55,066 --> 00:21:56,733
yeah amen

620
00:21:56,733 --> 00:21:57,600
yeah yeah

621
00:21:57,866 --> 00:21:58,983
yeah I amen

622
00:21:58,983 --> 00:22:00,066
I noticed in the in the book

623
00:22:00,066 --> 00:22:02,116
you use a lot of outdoor challenges

624
00:22:02,300 --> 00:22:04,100
and extreme environments you know

625
00:22:04,100 --> 00:22:06,133
we we joked about tying your

626
00:22:06,133 --> 00:22:08,866
your kids up and throwing them in the water but

627
00:22:08,866 --> 00:22:10,833
and you use those as metaphors for life

628
00:22:11,383 --> 00:22:14,200
uh how can ordinary parents

629
00:22:14,533 --> 00:22:17,800
integrate those lessons into their daily life

630
00:22:19,333 --> 00:22:20,600
so

631
00:22:21,900 --> 00:22:23,883
first we have to have intention

632
00:22:24,700 --> 00:22:26,466
another way we can describe intention is

633
00:22:26,466 --> 00:22:28,483
a purpose for what we're doing

634
00:22:29,016 --> 00:22:32,283
um I've heard you refer to this as a clear end state

635
00:22:33,133 --> 00:22:34,183
yeah yes

636
00:22:34,183 --> 00:22:35,333
my my good friend

637
00:22:35,333 --> 00:22:37,583
Larry Yatch described it as a clear end state

638
00:22:37,583 --> 00:22:39,100
like what is it we're trying to produce

639
00:22:39,100 --> 00:22:41,633
so like with kids for instance

640
00:22:41,900 --> 00:22:44,616
um we might be thinking about things like confidence

641
00:22:44,616 --> 00:22:46,283
courage um

642
00:22:46,333 --> 00:22:48,783
respect like those are three things

643
00:22:48,783 --> 00:22:51,016
so first thing with parents is

644
00:22:51,016 --> 00:22:53,266
like I said before you know

645
00:22:53,266 --> 00:22:55,066
words are powerful look them up

646
00:22:55,066 --> 00:22:56,416
hold your own disposition

647
00:22:56,416 --> 00:22:58,383
so you can describe it to your kid over

648
00:22:58,383 --> 00:22:59,666
and over and over again

649
00:22:59,666 --> 00:23:01,183
for 20+ years before they're like

650
00:23:01,183 --> 00:23:01,900
oh geez dad

651
00:23:01,900 --> 00:23:02,983
that was a I don't know

652
00:23:02,983 --> 00:23:04,300
then they tell you what it is

653
00:23:04,300 --> 00:23:05,133
I'm like dude

654
00:23:05,133 --> 00:23:05,500
I yeah

655
00:23:05,500 --> 00:23:07,216
I told you that 10 years ago

656
00:23:07,216 --> 00:23:09,116
but first you have to have intention

657
00:23:09,416 --> 00:23:12,433
and the intention needs to also include yourself

658
00:23:13,183 --> 00:23:15,366
so um

659
00:23:15,533 --> 00:23:17,266
you know people with parenting be like

660
00:23:17,266 --> 00:23:18,616
it's not about you it's about the kids

661
00:23:18,616 --> 00:23:19,016
I'm like uh

662
00:23:19,016 --> 00:23:22,016
uh it's about all of us right

663
00:23:22,016 --> 00:23:23,783
so for me I'm an outdoor guy

664
00:23:23,783 --> 00:23:24,816
I like outdoor adventure

665
00:23:24,816 --> 00:23:26,583
I like those kind of activities

666
00:23:26,583 --> 00:23:31,183
so I'm going to use those as tools to produce courage

667
00:23:31,183 --> 00:23:33,183
respect responsibility

668
00:23:33,183 --> 00:23:35,216
whatever it is now

669
00:23:35,216 --> 00:23:36,966
I will say this about it

670
00:23:37,533 --> 00:23:40,500
being the only dad doing some things

671
00:23:40,500 --> 00:23:44,933
like that also helps because if we look at

672
00:23:44,933 --> 00:23:47,333
look at the marketplace that we business right

673
00:23:47,333 --> 00:23:49,216
value importance

674
00:23:49,216 --> 00:23:50,700
utility and worth

675
00:23:50,700 --> 00:23:52,866
but one of the key components of value

676
00:23:52,866 --> 00:23:55,900
besides that is scarcity so

677
00:23:55,900 --> 00:23:57,900
I inherently like the outdoors

678
00:23:57,900 --> 00:23:59,583
and doing these adventurous things

679
00:23:59,583 --> 00:23:59,666
but

680
00:23:59,666 --> 00:24:01,933
there's all kinds of things that could be adventurous

681
00:24:01,933 --> 00:24:05,716
and aspirational and inspiring to your kids

682
00:24:05,783 --> 00:24:06,933
so have an intention

683
00:24:06,933 --> 00:24:10,166
and one of those intentions is to show up

684
00:24:10,266 --> 00:24:13,666
to produce identity with your kids as the father

685
00:24:13,666 --> 00:24:15,316
because when we have identity

686
00:24:15,383 --> 00:24:17,600
people listen and people follow us

687
00:24:17,733 --> 00:24:18,666
yeah I

688
00:24:18,666 --> 00:24:21,300
I I love that you kind of have two clear instates there

689
00:24:21,300 --> 00:24:24,116
right you have your own um

690
00:24:24,416 --> 00:24:25,933
you have a clear you have your own

691
00:24:25,933 --> 00:24:28,683
clear state of what your parenting mission is

692
00:24:28,883 --> 00:24:31,183
and what your unique value proposition

693
00:24:31,183 --> 00:24:33,700
if you want to use business speak to it is and all that

694
00:24:33,700 --> 00:24:35,383
but then you have

695
00:24:35,383 --> 00:24:37,516
you're teaching your boys how to define

696
00:24:37,533 --> 00:24:39,683
clear and states for themselves also

697
00:24:41,266 --> 00:24:42,933
and that's ultimately I mean

698
00:24:42,933 --> 00:24:44,300
ultimately what's your job

699
00:24:44,300 --> 00:24:46,183
what what's your job as

700
00:24:46,183 --> 00:24:47,266
as as a parent

701
00:24:47,266 --> 00:24:53,766
your job is to make sure that your boy has the skills

702
00:24:53,900 --> 00:24:57,433
and capability and mental resilience to thrive

703
00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:00,266
and that's it and so what

704
00:25:00,266 --> 00:25:01,700
you know what else is there other than okay

705
00:25:01,700 --> 00:25:02,783
well have a clear instate

706
00:25:02,783 --> 00:25:05,316
and then fight like hell to make it happen

707
00:25:06,500 --> 00:25:08,533
yep and then you center everything on that

708
00:25:08,533 --> 00:25:09,933
like we talked about the beginning

709
00:25:09,933 --> 00:25:11,100
when I was talking about traditional

710
00:25:11,100 --> 00:25:13,433
masculinity versus modern

711
00:25:13,616 --> 00:25:14,983
that's the end state

712
00:25:14,983 --> 00:25:17,616
learn how to use your passions to fulfill harmoniously

713
00:25:17,616 --> 00:25:18,816
care for all of your purposes

714
00:25:18,816 --> 00:25:20,016
same thing now

715
00:25:20,016 --> 00:25:22,666
that conversation as you as you right

716
00:25:22,666 --> 00:25:23,933
that drives everything else

717
00:25:23,933 --> 00:25:24,500
well okay

718
00:25:24,500 --> 00:25:28,383
we do need perseverance we do need um resilience

719
00:25:28,383 --> 00:25:29,900
we do need courage we need respect

720
00:25:29,900 --> 00:25:31,066
we need responsibility

721
00:25:31,066 --> 00:25:32,500
I like all of these things start to

722
00:25:32,500 --> 00:25:34,733
they all not only do they all start to show up

723
00:25:34,733 --> 00:25:36,216
because they're required

724
00:25:36,216 --> 00:25:39,283
but they all start to take on meaning also

725
00:25:39,300 --> 00:25:40,133
and that's another thing now

726
00:25:40,133 --> 00:25:41,600
if you think about a human

727
00:25:41,816 --> 00:25:43,516
when I say use your passion

728
00:25:43,666 --> 00:25:45,133
that means be your authentic self

729
00:25:45,133 --> 00:25:46,983
when I say hormones to fulfill your purposes

730
00:25:46,983 --> 00:25:48,466
that means living a good life right

731
00:25:48,466 --> 00:25:50,933
cause when you don't care for your personal financial

732
00:25:50,933 --> 00:25:53,516
professional purposes you've got breakdowns

733
00:25:53,833 --> 00:25:55,333
now the reason I bring that up again is one

734
00:25:55,333 --> 00:25:56,666
I'll repeat that left and right

735
00:25:56,666 --> 00:25:59,383
because it is what I want to stay focused on

736
00:25:59,383 --> 00:26:00,916
for everything I do

737
00:26:00,933 --> 00:26:03,016
but the other reasons it's important too

738
00:26:03,016 --> 00:26:04,433
is think about a human

739
00:26:04,700 --> 00:26:08,000
that's going to trigger their survival mechanism

740
00:26:08,583 --> 00:26:10,216
it that might not be the first time

741
00:26:10,216 --> 00:26:11,100
but if it's like well

742
00:26:11,100 --> 00:26:11,866
that guy is out there

743
00:26:11,866 --> 00:26:14,333
using his passion to care for all of his purposes

744
00:26:14,333 --> 00:26:15,700
that's how you survive

745
00:26:15,700 --> 00:26:18,766
cause we're autopoietic means we self select survival

746
00:26:18,816 --> 00:26:21,366
and it's another part of pulling them in

747
00:26:21,416 --> 00:26:23,583
is another part of attracting your children

748
00:26:23,583 --> 00:26:25,583
and other people into your leadership

749
00:26:25,583 --> 00:26:27,983
to your authority to whatever it is you're doing

750
00:26:27,983 --> 00:26:29,233
and I don't mean authority

751
00:26:29,266 --> 00:26:30,733
like I'm going to control anyone

752
00:26:30,733 --> 00:26:31,900
I mean authority like hey

753
00:26:31,900 --> 00:26:33,866
this is what's allowed this is what's forbidden

754
00:26:33,866 --> 00:26:36,516
if you want to use your passion to fulfill your purpose

755
00:26:36,783 --> 00:26:40,766
how do you think about rights of passage

756
00:26:41,266 --> 00:26:44,100
you know what role do rights of passage play

757
00:26:44,100 --> 00:26:46,816
in turning boys into men and how can we

758
00:26:46,816 --> 00:26:47,466
it feels like

759
00:26:47,466 --> 00:26:49,800
that's one of the institutions that is crumbling

760
00:26:49,866 --> 00:26:52,166
how do we recreate those in today's culture

761
00:26:53,416 --> 00:26:55,316
yeah um

762
00:26:56,466 --> 00:26:59,066
how I started to address that was something called

763
00:26:59,066 --> 00:27:00,716
seal pups uh

764
00:27:01,783 --> 00:27:06,100
and I wish I had done more of it even

765
00:27:06,100 --> 00:27:07,933
and I wish I was still doing it

766
00:27:07,933 --> 00:27:10,366
although now the grandkids I think another lap

767
00:27:10,816 --> 00:27:15,366
but right's a passage let's talk about a tribe

768
00:27:16,100 --> 00:27:18,783
so my definition of a brotherhood

769
00:27:18,783 --> 00:27:20,500
if I'm talking to men or a tribe

770
00:27:20,500 --> 00:27:22,200
if I'm just keeping it general

771
00:27:22,466 --> 00:27:24,216
is a group of two or more people

772
00:27:24,216 --> 00:27:25,700
that protect automate

773
00:27:25,700 --> 00:27:27,116
and accelerate

774
00:27:27,183 --> 00:27:29,783
the current and future situation of each member

775
00:27:29,783 --> 00:27:32,000
now that's a lot of word but when I say

776
00:27:32,066 --> 00:27:33,300
when I say situation

777
00:27:33,300 --> 00:27:35,916
I mean using your passion to fulfill your purposes

778
00:27:36,066 --> 00:27:38,266
that's a try these are people that protect

779
00:27:38,266 --> 00:27:40,033
accelerate and make it possible

780
00:27:40,216 --> 00:27:42,200
yeah so now write the passage

781
00:27:43,133 --> 00:27:45,400
like we're typically looking at warriors

782
00:27:45,583 --> 00:27:47,533
and I've seen some attempts

783
00:27:47,533 --> 00:27:52,716
I think of filling in the blanks there uh

784
00:27:52,816 --> 00:27:54,333
are you know

785
00:27:54,333 --> 00:27:59,416
doing it outside of a combat unit or any

786
00:27:59,416 --> 00:28:02,600
any unit that is facing life or death circumstances

787
00:28:02,733 --> 00:28:05,616
and I from what little I've seen of it they

788
00:28:05,616 --> 00:28:07,700
they miss the Mark uh

789
00:28:07,700 --> 00:28:10,300
because an important part to a write a passage

790
00:28:10,300 --> 00:28:13,366
I believe is that it's a high stakes game

791
00:28:13,583 --> 00:28:15,716
that is a matter of life or death

792
00:28:15,733 --> 00:28:18,716
um and what you're doing is very serious

793
00:28:18,783 --> 00:28:21,783
very serious and I don't think that many fathers

794
00:28:21,783 --> 00:28:22,333
or men

795
00:28:22,333 --> 00:28:25,600
take themselves that seriously in their own life

796
00:28:25,616 --> 00:28:27,816
and I don't think they take themselves that seriously

797
00:28:27,816 --> 00:28:30,200
in the lives of others either

798
00:28:30,383 --> 00:28:32,866
so when we're talking rights of passage

799
00:28:32,866 --> 00:28:34,883
we're talking bringing up our young men

800
00:28:35,016 --> 00:28:37,100
um and there's a female version of that too

801
00:28:37,100 --> 00:28:40,516
but bringing up our young men to be um

802
00:28:40,783 --> 00:28:41,500
how would I say it

803
00:28:41,500 --> 00:28:43,266
like a Jordan Peterson would describe it

804
00:28:43,266 --> 00:28:47,616
being dangerous being powerful in their minds right to

805
00:28:47,616 --> 00:28:51,233
to be capable to be able to uh

806
00:28:51,266 --> 00:28:53,183
care for people to care for others

807
00:28:53,183 --> 00:28:54,833
to be very important

808
00:28:55,383 --> 00:28:56,733
and I think it's incredibly

809
00:28:56,733 --> 00:29:00,283
important for a young man to transition through that

810
00:29:00,616 --> 00:29:03,100
so that they do take themselves extremely serious

811
00:29:03,100 --> 00:29:04,500
and seriously in their lives

812
00:29:04,500 --> 00:29:05,616
in the lives of others

813
00:29:05,616 --> 00:29:07,200
yeah I I

814
00:29:07,516 --> 00:29:09,416
I like that formulation and

815
00:29:09,416 --> 00:29:10,300
I mean one of the

816
00:29:10,300 --> 00:29:12,316
one of the things that I'm um

817
00:29:12,466 --> 00:29:14,700
that I'm loving so much about this conversation

818
00:29:14,700 --> 00:29:16,933
is how precise you are and you

819
00:29:16,933 --> 00:29:18,183
you spoke in the very beginning

820
00:29:18,183 --> 00:29:19,383
about the importance of language

821
00:29:19,383 --> 00:29:20,616
and the importance of understanding

822
00:29:20,616 --> 00:29:21,966
the definitions of things

823
00:29:21,983 --> 00:29:25,583
and then you're so clear and so precise about

824
00:29:25,583 --> 00:29:26,800
what do I mean by

825
00:29:27,333 --> 00:29:28,533
uh what do I mean by tribe

826
00:29:28,533 --> 00:29:29,583
what do I mean by brotherhood

827
00:29:29,583 --> 00:29:31,516
what do I mean by by uh uh

828
00:29:31,933 --> 00:29:35,133
by masculinity and you're very clear and you're very uh

829
00:29:35,133 --> 00:29:36,266
you're very precise about it

830
00:29:36,266 --> 00:29:37,500
and it's a definition that

831
00:29:37,500 --> 00:29:38,300
that OK

832
00:29:38,300 --> 00:29:41,266
now we can work now now we know what the thing is

833
00:29:41,266 --> 00:29:43,700
we're not just waving our hands at it

834
00:29:43,700 --> 00:29:44,933
but we're we're

835
00:29:44,933 --> 00:29:46,866
we're moving forward and I love that

836
00:29:46,866 --> 00:29:48,566
it is such a powerful

837
00:29:49,616 --> 00:29:51,300
it's such a powerful reflex

838
00:29:51,300 --> 00:29:55,066
and I think it's worth putting a pin in that and and

839
00:29:55,066 --> 00:29:57,600
and saying that that is a really important thing

840
00:29:58,733 --> 00:30:00,266
yeah I appreciate that

841
00:30:00,266 --> 00:30:01,133
and that would be also

842
00:30:01,133 --> 00:30:03,383
an example of how seriously I take it now

843
00:30:03,383 --> 00:30:04,833
it's not like I'm running around like

844
00:30:05,133 --> 00:30:06,500
you know like getting after my kids

845
00:30:06,500 --> 00:30:08,216
like I'm a very laid I mean

846
00:30:08,216 --> 00:30:09,616
I grew up a surfer skater

847
00:30:09,616 --> 00:30:12,766
I'm very laid back but it's like make no mistake

848
00:30:12,866 --> 00:30:14,500
if you watch me do something

849
00:30:14,500 --> 00:30:18,133
I'm doing something for a very specific purpose um

850
00:30:18,133 --> 00:30:20,566
with intention even if I'm just taking a nap

851
00:30:20,566 --> 00:30:21,216
it's what you know

852
00:30:21,216 --> 00:30:23,416
I mean there's a purpose going on there

853
00:30:23,416 --> 00:30:26,216
because it's tied to the it's tied to my purposes

854
00:30:26,216 --> 00:30:27,533
and that stuff is life or death

855
00:30:27,533 --> 00:30:28,416
it really it

856
00:30:28,416 --> 00:30:30,066
if you don't get those things handled

857
00:30:30,066 --> 00:30:31,583
then it really is you suffer

858
00:30:31,583 --> 00:30:33,383
cause other people to suffer and die early

859
00:30:33,383 --> 00:30:35,266
it is it is a big deal and it's a big

860
00:30:35,266 --> 00:30:37,366
not only a big deal for the individual

861
00:30:37,416 --> 00:30:38,600
think about our country

862
00:30:38,866 --> 00:30:40,533
so if you look at our country like okay

863
00:30:40,533 --> 00:30:42,016
well what if that's what families were up to

864
00:30:42,016 --> 00:30:43,816
what if a family had a mother and a father

865
00:30:43,816 --> 00:30:46,400
that was using their passion to fulfill their purposes

866
00:30:46,416 --> 00:30:46,816
and then

867
00:30:46,816 --> 00:30:49,716
they were able to articulate all of the language

868
00:30:49,733 --> 00:30:52,183
and all of the frameworks that they used to do it

869
00:30:52,183 --> 00:30:52,983
to their children

870
00:30:52,983 --> 00:30:54,683
so that they can raise their children

871
00:30:55,066 --> 00:30:56,300
so you know what I'm talking about

872
00:30:56,300 --> 00:30:58,316
like that is a very powerful country

873
00:30:58,533 --> 00:30:58,933
that is

874
00:30:58,933 --> 00:31:03,666
that is to me that like that supersedes warfare and any

875
00:31:03,666 --> 00:31:05,733
everything like that as far as I'm concerned

876
00:31:05,733 --> 00:31:07,666
because that is the core of human existence

877
00:31:07,666 --> 00:31:10,533
and that's what makes this country strong yeah

878
00:31:10,533 --> 00:31:11,333
it it

879
00:31:11,700 --> 00:31:14,666
it feels like that is what has made the country strong

880
00:31:14,666 --> 00:31:18,116
the way and it feels like maybe that's a skill that is

881
00:31:18,533 --> 00:31:20,016
that is slipping through our fingers now

882
00:31:20,016 --> 00:31:21,683
and we need to get it back

883
00:31:22,900 --> 00:31:23,816
it absolutely is

884
00:31:23,816 --> 00:31:26,433
because guys are getting hammered in the marketplace

885
00:31:26,616 --> 00:31:27,666
yeah it's more competitive

886
00:31:27,666 --> 00:31:30,583
it's more dynamic they're using old school strategies

887
00:31:30,583 --> 00:31:31,266
that were built

888
00:31:31,266 --> 00:31:33,100
during this fourth industrial revolution

889
00:31:33,100 --> 00:31:35,533
where the whole idea was to work hard

890
00:31:35,533 --> 00:31:36,816
work hard work hard

891
00:31:36,816 --> 00:31:38,866
right in the factory 12 hours hustle

892
00:31:38,866 --> 00:31:39,833
hustle hustle

893
00:31:39,933 --> 00:31:44,266
and that culture is not going to cut it anymore and

894
00:31:44,266 --> 00:31:45,200
and that and

895
00:31:45,333 --> 00:31:48,533
it is why we have to have a strategy

896
00:31:48,533 --> 00:31:51,483
that is designed for the current environment we are in

897
00:31:51,900 --> 00:31:54,333
because mothers and fathers don't have the time

898
00:31:54,333 --> 00:31:55,266
they don't have the energy

899
00:31:55,266 --> 00:31:57,733
they're cooked just trying to pay the bills don't

900
00:31:57,733 --> 00:32:00,500
not even to mention the 30+ years of old age

901
00:32:00,500 --> 00:32:01,833
when they're not gonna be able to work

902
00:32:02,216 --> 00:32:03,100
so it's a very

903
00:32:03,100 --> 00:32:05,183
very important that's a really

904
00:32:05,183 --> 00:32:07,166
it's a really challenging thing

905
00:32:07,300 --> 00:32:08,733
to identify

906
00:32:08,733 --> 00:32:12,100
and maintain your purpose in everything you do

907
00:32:12,100 --> 00:32:13,583
I've been thinking about that

908
00:32:13,583 --> 00:32:15,866
and trying to figure out to what extent that I

909
00:32:15,866 --> 00:32:18,333
that that I apply that in my own life and

910
00:32:18,333 --> 00:32:19,783
and or have

911
00:32:19,783 --> 00:32:22,816
or have not and I'm realizing that I'm

912
00:32:22,816 --> 00:32:23,800
I'm feeling

913
00:32:24,700 --> 00:32:26,283
I'm feeling resistance to it

914
00:32:26,300 --> 00:32:27,966
and the resistance is

915
00:32:28,616 --> 00:32:31,183
it makes me feel like I don't ever get to have any fun

916
00:32:31,183 --> 00:32:32,016
then right

917
00:32:32,016 --> 00:32:33,800
I always have to be

918
00:32:34,183 --> 00:32:36,266
I always have to be working towards something

919
00:32:36,266 --> 00:32:37,866
but that's not the way it

920
00:32:37,866 --> 00:32:40,766
works it like I

921
00:32:41,016 --> 00:32:44,566
having fun is can can be done with purpose as well

922
00:32:44,783 --> 00:32:45,583
right

923
00:32:46,500 --> 00:32:49,733
yeah so it's always interesting

924
00:32:49,733 --> 00:32:50,466
and I probably

925
00:32:50,466 --> 00:32:52,783
have to figure out a way to say it better

926
00:32:52,783 --> 00:32:54,216
at the beginning'cause I'm always

927
00:32:54,216 --> 00:32:56,066
surprised when somebody doesn't ask me

928
00:32:56,066 --> 00:32:58,483
how do I figure out my purposes

929
00:32:59,133 --> 00:33:01,783
like it's an interesting phenomenon

930
00:33:01,783 --> 00:33:03,983
but the word purpose and passion I mean

931
00:33:03,983 --> 00:33:06,500
you mentioned my language and precision hey

932
00:33:06,500 --> 00:33:08,133
Ford don't think those words

933
00:33:08,133 --> 00:33:09,466
I haven't figured those ones out

934
00:33:09,466 --> 00:33:10,866
so let's talk about that real quick

935
00:33:10,866 --> 00:33:11,883
what is purpose

936
00:33:12,066 --> 00:33:16,300
purpose is to know the 50+ parts of your professional

937
00:33:16,300 --> 00:33:17,016
financial

938
00:33:17,016 --> 00:33:21,716
and personal life that you were created to care for

939
00:33:22,666 --> 00:33:23,983
that's what a purpose is

940
00:33:23,983 --> 00:33:26,266
and to understand what the positive impacts

941
00:33:26,266 --> 00:33:27,666
of that thing being cared for

942
00:33:27,666 --> 00:33:28,933
look like and what the negative

943
00:33:28,933 --> 00:33:30,783
impacts of that thing not being cared for

944
00:33:30,783 --> 00:33:34,000
look like that way we know if we're on par

945
00:33:34,533 --> 00:33:36,133
right and then we need to design

946
00:33:36,133 --> 00:33:38,500
or find the strategy to fulfill those purposes

947
00:33:38,500 --> 00:33:40,233
now here's what people don't understand

948
00:33:40,383 --> 00:33:42,066
if I were to tell you like okay

949
00:33:42,066 --> 00:33:43,783
I hear what are the 50 things

950
00:33:43,783 --> 00:33:46,533
there's about 20+ professional

951
00:33:46,533 --> 00:33:48,266
there's about six or so financial

952
00:33:48,266 --> 00:33:49,783
kind of depending on how you put it

953
00:33:49,783 --> 00:33:51,766
and there's about a dozen personal

954
00:33:52,133 --> 00:33:55,266
and what happens is our professional side takes up

955
00:33:55,266 --> 00:33:57,500
what we do is we start like men

956
00:33:57,500 --> 00:33:59,900
we start with our professional side our career first

957
00:33:59,900 --> 00:34:01,216
and then what happens is we try to

958
00:34:01,216 --> 00:34:04,100
stuff our personal side into whatever time energy

959
00:34:04,100 --> 00:34:04,666
creativity

960
00:34:04,666 --> 00:34:07,500
and currency that thing left over and it falls short

961
00:34:07,500 --> 00:34:09,716
yeah so when I talk about purpose I

962
00:34:09,900 --> 00:34:11,866
it's not the I get it right

963
00:34:11,866 --> 00:34:14,033
remember what I said even when I'm taking a nap

964
00:34:14,383 --> 00:34:14,900
yeah right

965
00:34:14,900 --> 00:34:15,866
all that is is me

966
00:34:15,866 --> 00:34:16,866
putting habits in place

967
00:34:16,866 --> 00:34:18,383
that make sure I'm performing at my highest

968
00:34:18,383 --> 00:34:19,816
but inside of our personal purpose

969
00:34:19,816 --> 00:34:20,866
that's things like personal

970
00:34:20,866 --> 00:34:22,483
I mean excuse me spirituality

971
00:34:22,500 --> 00:34:24,066
that's friendship yes

972
00:34:24,066 --> 00:34:26,633
finances brotherhood or sisterhood

973
00:34:26,666 --> 00:34:28,866
fun and adventure career

974
00:34:28,866 --> 00:34:30,733
right how we work membership

975
00:34:30,733 --> 00:34:33,466
helping others like these are all good things

976
00:34:33,466 --> 00:34:35,716
so I don't how do I say this

977
00:34:35,783 --> 00:34:39,300
like how you establish your purpose is you I

978
00:34:39,300 --> 00:34:41,383
we I teach people using a mind map

979
00:34:41,383 --> 00:34:43,033
and they map those things out

980
00:34:43,133 --> 00:34:44,616
and what they're doing is the

981
00:34:44,616 --> 00:34:46,766
what I call a linguistic filter

982
00:34:47,083 --> 00:34:50,100
what they're doing is becoming aware like oh

983
00:34:50,100 --> 00:34:50,933
I have a purpose

984
00:34:50,933 --> 00:34:52,900
where I'm supposed to have fun and adventure

985
00:34:52,900 --> 00:34:54,300
because it makes me more creative

986
00:34:54,300 --> 00:34:56,216
it puts me into flow it relaxes me

987
00:34:56,216 --> 00:34:58,133
it allows me to be resilient right

988
00:34:58,133 --> 00:34:59,833
like these things are important

989
00:34:59,900 --> 00:35:01,400
so okay

990
00:35:01,500 --> 00:35:03,500
well I can't just white knuckle my way into

991
00:35:03,500 --> 00:35:06,066
to adventure and fun right

992
00:35:06,066 --> 00:35:07,733
so when we define those things

993
00:35:07,733 --> 00:35:09,066
it's just like this um

994
00:35:09,066 --> 00:35:10,816
when I would be overseas um

995
00:35:10,816 --> 00:35:12,266
and somebody get upset with me

996
00:35:12,266 --> 00:35:12,616
like why

997
00:35:12,616 --> 00:35:13,816
are you always worried about somebody

998
00:35:13,816 --> 00:35:15,066
potentially attacking us I'm like

999
00:35:15,066 --> 00:35:16,266
I'm not worried about it

1000
00:35:16,266 --> 00:35:20,416
I was just trained at nauseam to identify these things

1001
00:35:20,416 --> 00:35:21,616
so I'm just going around

1002
00:35:21,616 --> 00:35:23,183
these things are showing up for me

1003
00:35:23,183 --> 00:35:25,233
no different than a photographer

1004
00:35:25,366 --> 00:35:27,816
walking through a forest and noticing the lighting

1005
00:35:27,816 --> 00:35:28,933
and the mist you know what I mean

1006
00:35:28,933 --> 00:35:30,600
all the things that they would notice

1007
00:35:30,866 --> 00:35:34,200
so all purposes is identifying these things

1008
00:35:34,216 --> 00:35:35,866
and basically memorizing them

1009
00:35:35,866 --> 00:35:38,233
and there's only a dozen and it

1010
00:35:38,416 --> 00:35:39,466
and then what happens

1011
00:35:39,466 --> 00:35:41,533
all of our time and energy starts to align

1012
00:35:41,533 --> 00:35:42,833
with those things

1013
00:35:42,866 --> 00:35:44,583
and when you have those things cared for

1014
00:35:44,583 --> 00:35:47,266
we build powers it's not this what people get

1015
00:35:47,266 --> 00:35:49,133
it maybe cause I'm intense or so precise

1016
00:35:49,133 --> 00:35:51,833
but I'm precise because if I align people's actions

1017
00:35:52,183 --> 00:35:53,933
right and efforts with that

1018
00:35:53,933 --> 00:35:56,216
their life's gonna get real real good yeah

1019
00:35:56,216 --> 00:35:59,383
and I I think it's not even like you have to you're

1020
00:35:59,383 --> 00:36:03,133
you're you're creating this they already exist

1021
00:36:03,133 --> 00:36:05,466
you're just identifying them

1022
00:36:05,466 --> 00:36:06,733
your purpose is already there

1023
00:36:06,733 --> 00:36:07,983
you're out there living it

1024
00:36:07,983 --> 00:36:08,783
but what you're

1025
00:36:08,783 --> 00:36:11,233
what you're not doing is living it purposefully

1026
00:36:11,333 --> 00:36:15,216
and you're not having conscious awareness of

1027
00:36:15,216 --> 00:36:16,133
that's what your purpose is

1028
00:36:16,133 --> 00:36:18,083
and so you're kind of fuzzy about it

1029
00:36:18,133 --> 00:36:21,016
you're to to to use another term uh

1030
00:36:21,016 --> 00:36:22,183
that that you bring up in your world

1031
00:36:22,183 --> 00:36:24,383
you're chasing the ball right

1032
00:36:24,383 --> 00:36:25,983
you're you're you're you you

1033
00:36:25,983 --> 00:36:27,466
you don't know where the ball is

1034
00:36:27,466 --> 00:36:29,916
and so you're just kind of like shooting around it

1035
00:36:30,100 --> 00:36:33,316
and but by going through this exercise

1036
00:36:33,466 --> 00:36:36,166
and by identifying those things

1037
00:36:36,266 --> 00:36:39,183
then you can have conscious awareness of them

1038
00:36:39,183 --> 00:36:41,466
and you can realize ah yeah

1039
00:36:41,466 --> 00:36:43,066
that's why I'm taking a nap right now

1040
00:36:43,066 --> 00:36:45,333
or that's why I'm deciding to play video games

1041
00:36:45,333 --> 00:36:46,066
or that's why I'm

1042
00:36:46,066 --> 00:36:47,900
deciding to buckle down and work till 2 in the morning

1043
00:36:47,900 --> 00:36:48,700
today

1044
00:36:49,183 --> 00:36:50,133
yep yeah

1045
00:36:50,133 --> 00:36:52,483
yeah and now everything has meaning

1046
00:36:52,700 --> 00:36:54,733
we're no longer distracted right

1047
00:36:54,733 --> 00:36:54,983
like

1048
00:36:54,983 --> 00:36:57,933
all of your time and energy is 100% invested all day

1049
00:36:57,933 --> 00:36:58,533
every day right

1050
00:36:58,533 --> 00:36:59,666
it's always doing something

1051
00:36:59,666 --> 00:37:00,783
might be sitting on a dresser

1052
00:37:00,783 --> 00:37:01,933
your money or whatever it is

1053
00:37:01,933 --> 00:37:03,183
but like we'll always point it out

1054
00:37:03,183 --> 00:37:04,616
the things that if we get right

1055
00:37:04,616 --> 00:37:05,983
make our lives really good

1056
00:37:05,983 --> 00:37:08,033
and if we prevent them from breaking down

1057
00:37:08,116 --> 00:37:10,066
how's our life not hurt right

1058
00:37:10,066 --> 00:37:11,416
that that's all I'm talking about here

1059
00:37:11,416 --> 00:37:14,066
and it's just not that part of the drill um

1060
00:37:14,066 --> 00:37:15,633
but it's but it's not

1061
00:37:15,866 --> 00:37:18,016
it's not doing nothing okay

1062
00:37:18,016 --> 00:37:19,683
like how many people

1063
00:37:19,866 --> 00:37:22,100
how many people out there want to build a harmoniously

1064
00:37:22,100 --> 00:37:23,100
care for all parts of their life

1065
00:37:23,100 --> 00:37:24,900
so that they can live a good and dignified life

1066
00:37:24,900 --> 00:37:27,000
or how many people want their passions to do it

1067
00:37:27,200 --> 00:37:28,733
everybody everybody right

1068
00:37:28,733 --> 00:37:29,500
anyone in yeah

1069
00:37:29,500 --> 00:37:30,733
anyone in the right mind like

1070
00:37:30,733 --> 00:37:31,666
okay do it

1071
00:37:31,666 --> 00:37:32,933
and then people like you said

1072
00:37:32,933 --> 00:37:33,333
you're like oh

1073
00:37:33,333 --> 00:37:35,300
I'm like resistant to it that sounds like hard

1074
00:37:35,300 --> 00:37:36,966
like I'm locked in all the time

1075
00:37:37,283 --> 00:37:38,383
no you're not

1076
00:37:38,383 --> 00:37:40,816
I work like four hours a day

1077
00:37:40,816 --> 00:37:43,216
I run workout like two hours a day

1078
00:37:43,216 --> 00:37:44,100
I go to the wind tunnel

1079
00:37:44,100 --> 00:37:46,983
I surf I climb like it's not but why

1080
00:37:46,983 --> 00:37:49,116
because I paid attention to my purposes

1081
00:37:49,283 --> 00:37:51,700
and I just put my energy into caring for them

1082
00:37:51,700 --> 00:37:53,666
and then I got and I realized like oh

1083
00:37:53,666 --> 00:37:56,233
if I'm working much more than four or five hours a day

1084
00:37:56,266 --> 00:37:57,416
on my professional side

1085
00:37:57,416 --> 00:37:59,133
I'm not gonna be able to care for my personal side

1086
00:37:59,133 --> 00:38:00,133
and with that realization

1087
00:38:00,133 --> 00:38:00,583
guess what

1088
00:38:00,583 --> 00:38:03,516
I designed my business to care for my personal side

1089
00:38:03,816 --> 00:38:06,700
so it's just a shift in mindset really yeah

1090
00:38:06,700 --> 00:38:08,300
that is such a and

1091
00:38:08,300 --> 00:38:11,566
and you end up wasting so much less time

1092
00:38:12,533 --> 00:38:13,566
because everything

1093
00:38:13,583 --> 00:38:17,166
you're always rowing in the direction of the end goal

1094
00:38:18,816 --> 00:38:19,800
yeah and yes

1095
00:38:20,016 --> 00:38:22,166
here's the thing too those those purposes

1096
00:38:22,533 --> 00:38:24,133
they are either going to create

1097
00:38:24,133 --> 00:38:26,016
or destroy your ability to live a good life

1098
00:38:26,016 --> 00:38:27,900
they're gonna they don't just sit still either

1099
00:38:27,900 --> 00:38:29,416
they're out there operating anyway

1100
00:38:29,416 --> 00:38:31,216
so yeah I'm merely suggesting

1101
00:38:31,216 --> 00:38:33,833
since they're already out there in play

1102
00:38:33,866 --> 00:38:35,900
why don't we just identify them you know

1103
00:38:35,900 --> 00:38:38,133
get the language in our brain so we can notice them

1104
00:38:38,133 --> 00:38:40,016
and then move in a way that aligns them

1105
00:38:40,016 --> 00:38:41,883
and have them work together very well

1106
00:38:42,100 --> 00:38:44,816
it's it's not it's like I don't know how to describe

1107
00:38:44,816 --> 00:38:47,316
it's less effort than a semester of college

1108
00:38:47,500 --> 00:38:49,383
but it's not that much you know what I mean

1109
00:38:49,383 --> 00:38:51,066
but it's not but it's not a little it's you know

1110
00:38:51,066 --> 00:38:53,383
we are talking about mastering life yeah

1111
00:38:53,383 --> 00:38:56,700
um but yeah so I could very

1112
00:38:56,700 --> 00:38:57,783
you could see as my students

1113
00:38:57,783 --> 00:38:59,466
I'm like why didn't you finish this assignment

1114
00:38:59,466 --> 00:39:00,716
you don't know what you're missing

1115
00:39:00,866 --> 00:39:02,183
it's like right

1116
00:39:02,183 --> 00:39:03,900
it's everything what are you afraid of

1117
00:39:03,900 --> 00:39:04,866
yeah now

1118
00:39:04,866 --> 00:39:06,883
I like to finish up these conversations

1119
00:39:07,416 --> 00:39:10,233
by putting people on the spot with the

1120
00:39:10,333 --> 00:39:11,600
with the same question

1121
00:39:11,866 --> 00:39:15,133
give me one good operating principle

1122
00:39:15,133 --> 00:39:17,616
that you think every parent listening

1123
00:39:17,616 --> 00:39:20,916
should know about raising sons with excellence

1124
00:39:22,066 --> 00:39:23,266
um tell me what

1125
00:39:23,266 --> 00:39:24,816
when you say operating principle

1126
00:39:24,816 --> 00:39:26,300
tell me what you mean by that yeah

1127
00:39:26,300 --> 00:39:28,116
just like what is uh

1128
00:39:28,300 --> 00:39:29,516
you know uh

1129
00:39:29,583 --> 00:39:31,966
what is a good um

1130
00:39:32,700 --> 00:39:36,100
a good rule of thumb to live by or

1131
00:39:36,100 --> 00:39:37,800
or um

1132
00:39:38,616 --> 00:39:39,216
you you know

1133
00:39:39,216 --> 00:39:42,883
just something to keep in mind as uh

1134
00:39:43,016 --> 00:39:46,433
as you're trying to define or decide

1135
00:39:46,700 --> 00:39:48,583
what kind of parent you wanna be

1136
00:39:48,583 --> 00:39:50,483
or what kind of uh

1137
00:39:50,733 --> 00:39:53,133
or what kind of interaction you wanna have with your

1138
00:39:53,133 --> 00:39:54,116
with your boy

1139
00:39:54,900 --> 00:39:57,033
gotcha so if we're gonna have one

1140
00:39:57,616 --> 00:39:58,333
it's gonna

1141
00:39:58,333 --> 00:40:01,016
it'll sound cliche if you don't know what to do with it

1142
00:40:01,016 --> 00:40:02,600
but if you're gonna have one

1143
00:40:02,733 --> 00:40:04,600
it's leading from the front

1144
00:40:04,633 --> 00:40:05,700
here's what I mean by that

1145
00:40:05,700 --> 00:40:07,483
cause I don't want it to become a cliche

1146
00:40:07,666 --> 00:40:09,266
my grandfather was in the FBI

1147
00:40:09,266 --> 00:40:11,300
my father was a sheriff he was a bishop

1148
00:40:11,300 --> 00:40:13,016
a spiritual man all these things

1149
00:40:13,016 --> 00:40:14,183
they both weren't you know

1150
00:40:14,183 --> 00:40:15,966
they both checked out early right

1151
00:40:16,133 --> 00:40:19,700
my life still continued based off of what I observed

1152
00:40:19,700 --> 00:40:22,066
as a very young child right

1153
00:40:22,066 --> 00:40:25,916
they LED from the front so if we're gonna do anything

1154
00:40:26,583 --> 00:40:32,133
uh we need to be somebody that they would aspire to be

1155
00:40:32,133 --> 00:40:35,466
as well or at least not exact right

1156
00:40:35,466 --> 00:40:37,783
that's why we have the whole passion thing go no

1157
00:40:37,783 --> 00:40:39,500
no my purposes are gonna be a little different

1158
00:40:39,500 --> 00:40:42,866
my passions how I purposes what we're to get done

1159
00:40:42,866 --> 00:40:44,466
passions are how we do it

1160
00:40:44,466 --> 00:40:45,816
they can have that variation

1161
00:40:45,816 --> 00:40:47,333
but it's like live a good life

1162
00:40:47,333 --> 00:40:50,033
live the there is live a good life

1163
00:40:50,700 --> 00:40:52,133
um that's the operating principle

1164
00:40:52,133 --> 00:40:53,700
because if you're living a good life

1165
00:40:53,700 --> 00:40:55,466
they'll be able to follow that eventually

1166
00:40:55,466 --> 00:40:56,783
I mean doesn't happen right away

1167
00:40:56,783 --> 00:40:58,783
sometimes they have to go get hammered

1168
00:40:58,783 --> 00:41:00,533
made in the marketplace first yeah

1169
00:41:00,533 --> 00:41:01,733
that's it leave from the front

1170
00:41:01,733 --> 00:41:02,683
I mean that

1171
00:41:02,700 --> 00:41:05,783
I don't mean be the first one across the finish line

1172
00:41:05,783 --> 00:41:06,816
anything like that I mean

1173
00:41:06,816 --> 00:41:10,083
live a good intentional life so that they can see that

1174
00:41:11,066 --> 00:41:12,583
I think that is a really

1175
00:41:12,583 --> 00:41:14,733
really powerful sentiment Eric

1176
00:41:14,733 --> 00:41:17,100
thank you so much for spending the time with me

1177
00:41:17,100 --> 00:41:18,400
and sharing your wisdom

1178
00:41:18,466 --> 00:41:20,333
and thank you all for listening

1179
00:41:20,333 --> 00:41:25,300
you can find more of Eric Davis's work including his uh

1180
00:41:25,300 --> 00:41:27,383
his books including Raising Men

1181
00:41:27,383 --> 00:41:31,416
and his training programs and community at Eric Davis

1182
00:41:31,416 --> 00:41:31,866
two one

1183
00:41:31,866 --> 00:41:33,066
five dot com

1184
00:41:33,066 --> 00:41:38,800
and on Instagram at Eric underscore Davis 2 1 5 Eric

1185
00:41:38,816 --> 00:41:40,333
thanks again and

1186
00:41:40,333 --> 00:41:43,266
and thanks for being part of Raising Men yeah

1187
00:41:43,266 --> 00:41:44,100
thank you thanks

1188
00:41:44,100 --> 00:41:47,600
and all of you remember you are a great parent

1189
00:41:55,133 --> 00:41:58,600
raising men is produced by Phil Hernandez

1190
00:41:58,866 --> 00:42:02,000
this episode was edited by Ralph Tolentino