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Bible preaching from the pulpit of Choice Hills Baptist Church in Greenville, South Carolina
Let's go to Matthew chapter 19 tonight.
We're going to continue in our study in Matthew
and get into a super fun subject.
If you know anything about Matthew 19,
then you probably know what Matthew 19 is about.
And that is about divorce.
Divorce.
Now, it seems that in my experience in Matthew 19
and my experience being around preacher types,
I've had a lot of experience in that, seems like,
whenever you come to Matthew 19 or Matthew chapter 5,
verse 32, that area of scripture,
it seems like the only thing people want to talk about
is divorce and remarriage, especially what
the exception applies to.
It seems like that's always where the conversation ends up.
In other words, whenever this Matthew 19 is brought up,
it always ends at the point where
there's a debate over what the exception covers,
if it covers anything.
And we're going to talk about the exception,
but that's actually not what Jesus gets at at all
in Matthew 19.
And I want to try to stay on point as much as I
can in Matthew chapter 19.
Let's start in verse number 1.
The Bible says this, and it came to pass
that when Jesus had finished these sayings,
he departed from Galilee and came into the coasts of Judea
beyond Jordan.
And great multitudes followed him, and he healed them there.
The Pharisees also came unto him,
tempting him and saying unto him,
is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?
And he answered and said unto them,
have ye not read that he which made them at the beginning
made them male and female?
And said, for this cause shall a man leave father and mother
and shall cleave to his wife, and they twain shall
be one flesh.
Wherefore, they are no more twain but one flesh.
What therefore God hath joined together,
let not man put asunder.
They say unto him, why did Moses then
command to give a writing of divorcement and to put her away?
He saith unto them, Moses, because of the hardness
of your heart, suffered you to put away your wives.
But from the beginning it was not so.
And I say unto you, whosoever shall put away his wife,
accept it be for fornication, and shall marry another,
committeth adultery.
And whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
His disciples say unto him, if the case of the man
be so with his wife, it is not good to marry.
That's funny because like several of you
have just gotten married recently.
And the disciples are like, forget this.
Supposed to smile, Clay.
Come on.
Clay's happily married.
But he said unto them, all men cannot receive this saying.
Save they to whom it is given.
For there are some eunuchs which were so born
from their mother's womb.
And there are some eunuchs which are made eunuchs of men.
And there be eunuchs which have made themselves eunuchs
for the kingdom of heaven's sake.
He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.
Let's pray together.
Our Lord, we come to you in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ,
asking for help.
Lord, I ask you that you would help me, Lord,
to present these truths in a way that's pleasing to you.
Help us, Lord, to receive them and to walk away
from this scripture with first the scripture in our heart
and mind, especially for those of us that are married
or will be married, that we would take it with all gravity
like your word says and respond to it in the way
that you be pleased.
Lord, you know that this world in which we live
is so backward and upside down.
They call evil good and good evil.
They call men and women leaving their spouse
for almost nothing.
They say that's freedom and healthy.
But Lord, help us to believe and act upon your word.
I pray that you would give grace to us, Lord, as we look in it
and we would evaluate what it says and receive it.
Lord, help us in Jesus' name, amen.
So the Pharisees asked the Lord Jesus in verse number three,
again, please try to stay with me on this point.
I'm liable to stray, so maybe you
can help me stay on target, is we
want to try to not get so distracted
with contemporary theological questions on this subject.
It's like a funnel.
You always end up in those places.
I want to make sure that we come away with this understanding
what Jesus is saying, what his emphasis is,
not what we want to argue about all the time.
There's no arguing, but you see what I'm trying to say,
what the debate is always.
So the Pharisees came unto him, tempting him.
That tells you something, that their question is not,
their motivation is not honest and sincere.
And saying unto him, is it lawful for a man
to put away his wife for every cause?
Now, they asked that question because that
was what was in vogue.
And I'll explain why in just a minute.
But what do you think is their desired answer
to their question that they posed to Jesus?
Is it lawful to put away your wife for every cause?
They wanted him to say, yes.
Yeah, of course.
Yes, whatever.
Sure.
That's what they wanted.
They wanted him to say yes.
But in a way, they wanted him to say no
so that they could create a problem, which is what,
they know he's going to say no.
I think that's kind of indicated here.
They know he's not going to agree with them.
Maybe they already had heard what
he had said about divorce in Matthew chapter 5.
I don't know.
But they want a yes for their own personal lives.
But they want him to say no so they can catch him.
Or if he said yes, they'd be happy too.
That way they'd be doing their own thing.
Because the moment that Jesus says no,
they're going to say what they said in verse 7, which is,
what about Moses?
Now, if you look, take a peek, if you would, in Mark.
Go to Mark chapter 10.
I really like what the Lord says here.
It's not recorded in Matthew, but it is recorded in Mark.
Mark 10.
Now, I'll just give you a reminder.
They ask him, is it lawful for a man
to put away his wife for every cause?
Now, in Mark, it says this in verse 2, Mark 10, 2.
And the Pharisees came to him and asked him,
is it lawful for a man to put away his wife, tempting him?
Look at what the Lord says in verse 3.
And he answered and said unto them,
what did Moses command you?
He answered and said unto them, what did Moses command you?
What did Moses command you?
Our Lord, and this is not the only time he does this,
our Lord, when asked questions, he
has perfect authority to answer extemporaneously.
But he doesn't.
He says, what does the Bible say?
Essentially, what does the Bible say?
You see, the Lord appealed to scripture
because his view was scripture's view.
His view was scripture's view.
The problem was that they misunderstood the scripture.
And we'll see that in a minute.
But I want to ask you, just kind of as a side point,
what is a Christian supposed to live by?
What is supposed to be the basis for which,
or with which he makes decisions?
With what is a Christian supposed
to base his morality and principle?
In other words, like Romans chapter 4, verse 3,
different context, but the same or similar words,
where the Lord says, what sayeth the scripture?
What sayeth the scripture?
And especially if you're dealing with,
should I go to McDonald's or Burger King?
I recommend neither.
But if you're going to answer that,
I don't think you're going to be bothered with what
sayeth the scripture on that.
But on issues that deal with morality,
on issues that deal with eternal matters,
on issues of significant issues in our lives,
that ought to be our first answer, or our first question.
What does God say?
And the answer to that is the answer.
And not that we decide after that fact what we should do.
We should be, in other words, what the Lord is,
he's a Bible Christian, if you will.
He lives his life by what the scriptures teach,
not his own way.
And a lot of Christians, that's exactly how they live.
They'll do what the Bible says to a point,
so long as they can be consistent with the world
around them, or they can get the approval of men,
or whatever the motivation might be.
They'll do what the Bible says up to a point.
But it's really more about what they want to do,
and they try to find the middle ground
where what they want to do, and what the scripture says
aligns, but all the rest of that, you know.
But that's, listen, that's not the way our Lord described
the basis for his life, as our example.
Do you live by the scripture?
Do you live by, better question is this.
If there ever comes a time in your life
where there's a question or a problem in your marriage,
are you going to live by the scripture?
Because the answer to that is hard sometimes.
I'm not ignorant of how difficult the questions
and the implications of this passage can be.
I've dealt with that, not in my own life personally,
but I've dealt with that with, many of you know
the history of my mom, those of you who've been here a while,
and you know, it's messy.
It's messy.
And what's interesting is my mom became a believer
in the midst of all that, and the Lord has helped her
settle a lot of those questions.
Took some time, but the Lord helped her
settle a lot of those difficult questions.
You know where she ended up?
Exactly where the Bible says she did.
But I have personally observed how difficult that can be.
So, but the question really comes back to the first question
which is, am I going to do what God says?
Am I going to do what God says?
Really, that's, in any question that deals with the scripture,
that has to be the question we ask.
Am I going to do what God says?
Look if you would at verse four.
And he answered and said unto them,
have you not read that he which made them,
at the beginning made them male and female?
We need to understand, of course,
we could apply this to, you know, transgenderism
and the multiplicity of genders
and all of those kinds of things.
But here's the bottom line, the word of God,
indeed God himself determines the natural order
of the humankind, right?
He alone has power over that.
There's no government, there's no law,
there's no person, there's no court
that has the power to overrule what God says.
Now, there might be a day when they put people in jail
for misgendering people, in fact,
that's happening in some places in the West.
There might be a day when that happens.
But nobody has the power to overrule God's order.
And God has established it very clearly.
The reason why that we recognize God's order in creation
in this way is because it is his order in creation.
Not just because of the scientific aspect
of male and female biology and all of those,
and all of that is good and fine and valid
and God did all of that.
But at the end of the day,
the thing that determines the order of the universe
and the order of mankind in this way is God's word.
And so we should not shy away from that foundation
no matter what the world thinks about it.
Now, the Lord introduces his answer to their question
in verse three by saying that first,
and this is gonna be key throughout this passage,
is that this, God alone determines what is permitted
and what is not permitted in marriage
because he created both mankind
and the institution of marriage.
So they asked him, is it lawful to put away a wife
for every cause?
They're asking a question of divorce.
He answers by saying, God made male and female.
You know what that is?
That's asserting God's authority in the question
because back of the question of divorce,
there's a question of male and female
and the institution of marriage.
And that's what he's getting at.
He's asserting that mankind does not answer these questions.
Only God has the authority to do that.
It is determined by God.
And so we can say this, what marriage is or is not
is not determined by civil authorities.
It is determined by God.
It is not determined by the state.
It is determined by God, period.
The state can do whatever it does.
It can do whatever it wants to do.
And you know what?
There might be repercussions on Christians
as a result of that,
but the state does not determine marriage.
God does because God instituted it.
And to the extent that God has given his law regarding it,
to that extent, God determines it.
Now we know there's tax law regarding marriage
and all these other things outside of what God says.
That's neither here nor there.
But whatever God says about it is absolutely true.
No human law can supersede it.
Now notice also that the Lord in verse number four
refers back not to the law of Moses.
When he says, have you not read that he which made them
at the beginning made them male and female,
he's not talking about the law there.
He's going even further back.
He's going back to Genesis chapter two.
He's going back to creation, the pre-fall state of man.
And what we see in verse number eight,
notice if you jump ahead to verse eight,
he saith unto them, Moses,
because of the hardness of your heart,
suffered you to put away your wives.
But for the beginning it was not so.
You know what that word suffer means?
It means he tolerated it.
It was not what he wanted.
What he wanted is what he did in creation
when there was no sin.
So God's original intent was what we read in verse number five,
not what we read in Moses' law
in Deuteronomy 24 verse one and verse two.
Is everybody with me on that?
That's what he's saying.
He's saying, yes, Moses did allow for divorce
and remarriage as we'll see,
but that was not God's intent.
Jesus, this is key, okay, you have to get this.
Our Lord is reasserting God's original intent.
In essence, he's basically saying,
we're not looking at Moses anymore.
We're going back to the original intent, okay?
Verse number five, and said,
continuing what he said about creation,
for this cause shall a man leave father and mother
and shall cleave to his wife
and they twain shall be one flesh.
Look if you would at Genesis two,
we'll come back to Matthew,
but look if you would at Genesis two verse 21.
I wanna read the original passage
that the Lord is quoting here.
Genesis two verse number 21.
The Bible says this,
and the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam
and he slept and he took one of his ribs
and closed up the flesh instead thereof
and the rib which the Lord God had taken from man
made he a woman and brought her unto the man.
So by virtue of God's will,
the Lord God made her a woman and brought her unto the man.
So by virtue of God's creative act,
Eve is one flesh with Adam when she's created.
Everybody get that?
Because part of Adam's very flesh was used to make her.
Everybody with me?
That's what he means by one flesh.
Now is everybody on the same page?
Cause we're about to go to the next step
and you gotta kind of build.
Verse 23, and Adam said,
this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.
She shall be called woman
because she was taken out of man.
That's clear enough.
Look at verse 24.
Verse 24 is not talking about Adam and Eve any longer.
You know why?
Because he mentions father and mother,
both of whom had neither.
So verse 24 is an application.
So based upon the unique union between Adam and Eve,
verse 24 is stated,
therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother
and shall cleave unto his wife
and they shall be one flesh.
So we're not talking about Adam and Eve anymore, are we?
No, we're talking about all husbands and wives
into the future.
Now the basis for that union is Adam and Eve.
But here's what I want you to take away.
In the same way that Adam and Eve were considered indeed,
were in fact created by God as one flesh.
So God counts a husband and wife as one flesh
in the same way.
You see that?
That's what the scripture describes.
It's no different.
So married couples now are viewed by God as one flesh
in the same way that Adam and Eve were originally.
And that has a lot to do with, obviously,
the sexual union between the husband and the wife.
Now so the Lord takes this truth
about the first two human beings
and applies it to the truth of the union
of all people thereafter.
Note also in Genesis 2, verse 24,
notice the word, therefore shall a man leave his father
and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife.
Now nothing about divorce is mentioned in Genesis 2, 24
in the directly, but it is definitely hinted at indirectly
by the word cleave.
So even in verse 24, what do you see?
You see the Lord saying cleave.
It's almost like his eye is looking to the future
at a day when that's not gonna be so much the case.
And the Lord using this example is saying,
because you are one flesh, you must cleave.
Hold to her, cling to her, do not let her go.
There's no breaking this bond up.
Even way back then, the Lord is speaking in such a way
as to preclude divorce.
Is everybody with me?
That's how he's describing it.
He is hinting at a prohibition against divorce,
though it is not directly stated.
God commands the man to cleave to his wife,
which then precludes divorce.
Now listen, again, at this point, everybody wants to say,
but, but, but, but what if, but what if?
And the Lord's answer is cleave.
Everybody with me?
But what if she did cleave?
That was God's original intent.
Has sin messed things up and made things hard?
For sure.
But God's answer is cleave.
This is what our Lord is getting to.
Go back to Matthew 19.
Now look at verse six.
Wherefore, they are no more twain but one flesh.
Wherefore, they are no more twain but one flesh.
Our Lord is saying essentially this.
They really are one flesh, not two.
It is not just words.
I'm not just saying something,
make everybody feel like they're, you know, they're close.
No, the Lord is not using language
just to make people feel good
about how much they love each other.
No, the Lord's saying, I count it as,
they are no more twain but one flesh.
So the Lord is saying, you really are husband, wife,
you really are one flesh.
He adds an additional note that is implied
in Genesis chapter two, but it's not stated outright,
that notice what it says,
wherefore, they are no more twain but one flesh.
What therefore God had joined together,
let not man put us under.
Now Genesis two does not directly state
God joins them together.
It's implied but it's not directly stated.
Here the Lord states it.
Here's what he states.
This unique union between husband and wife
was done, performed by God, not man.
What therefore God had joined together.
Therefore, man does not have the power to put it asunder
because he did not create the union to begin with.
Man, it's quiet in here.
It is quiet in this room right now.
Everybody's sleepy, I hope.
If I tell Isaiah to do something,
nobody in this room has power to tell him not to do
what I told him to do except me.
You understand that?
That's, this is the echelon of authority.
This is the authority structure in God's world.
So if I tell Isaiah to do something,
someone that is not greater than his father in his life
can't come along and say, oh, you don't need to do that.
Right?
Assuming he's not sinful.
Because God is the one who joined the couple
is one flesh, only God and his law governs
when that union no longer exists.
Okay?
No court or judge or anything.
Because it was just like in this day,
there were courts and there were judges
who granted divorces for any cause.
That was already happening.
So their society and our society
were not that much different.
They could go and for any cause dump his wife, get anyone.
And what Jesus is saying is it's not valid.
That's pretty strong.
The only one with the power to break the union
is the one who made the union.
Therefore God's law rules not man's.
Look at verse seven.
They say unto him, why did Moses then command
to give her a writing of divorcement and to put her away?
Hold your place and let's go to Deuteronomy 24.
Deuteronomy 24.
Verse number one.
All right, Deuteronomy 24, verse one.
This is the passage referred to by the Pharisees.
So we're gonna read it.
Verse one, when a man hath taken a wife and married a woman,
when a man hath taken a wife and married her,
and it come to pass that she find no favor in his eyes
because he hath found some uncleanness in her,
then let him write her a bill of divorcement
and give it in her hand and send her out of his house.
And when she is departed out of his house,
she may go and be another man's wife.
Now I'm gonna make a couple of comments here
and I want you to try to follow me
because we're gonna have to come back to him
in just a minute.
So this man goes in, he gets married,
and this woman comes into his house.
Now, some people have cited this passage
to refer to the condition of betrothal,
like Joseph and Mary, remember?
Joseph and Mary were betrothed,
they were called husband and wife in the Bible.
But for that period of time,
while they were betrothed,
Mary was not brought into Joseph's house
until he got the visit from the angel,
and then that marriage was formalized
and she came into his house,
but the one outlier is that Mary and Joseph
did not have any physical relationship
until Jesus was born.
Matthew is clear on that.
Give me a nod, everybody on the same page?
Okay, I'm not going to all those passages just for time.
But some people have said,
well, this is talking about when it says some uncleanness,
this is talking about a case where a man is betrothed
and then he finds out that his fiance essentially
has committed fornication prior to their wedding,
they're getting married.
And so once he finds that out,
he can write her a divorce and send her on her way,
and she can go, verse two says,
and be another man's wife.
Now, that's true, because that's exactly
what Joseph was trying to do.
But this does not only apply to betrothal,
this also applies to an actual marriage,
like a fully consummated marriage.
Here's why.
It says this, in the second half of the verse,
because he had found some uncleanness in her,
then let him write her a bill of divorcement
and give it in her hand and send her out of his house.
Where is she?
She's in the house.
She lives with the man.
Now, unless she lives with the man
and they do not have a husband and wife relationship,
this is a regular marriage.
And then read the next verse.
And when she is departed out of his house,
she may go and be another man's wife.
Jesus.
I mean, this is allowing for her to remarry,
for her to remarry.
Now, here's the thing.
This is different than what Jesus says.
That's all I want you to see.
It's different.
What Jesus said, assuming the exception,
which we'll get to in a minute,
Jesus said, if the man or the woman,
the one spouse commits fornication,
then the other spouse can initiate a divorce,
and then the innocent spouse can go get remarried.
Right, that's the idea.
Okay?
This is saying that the woman committed the adultery,
she is divorced by her husband,
and then she goes and gets another husband.
That is not permitted in Jesus' reckoning.
That's different.
It's getting kind of confusing,
and it's getting kind of mucky.
Getting kind of mucky.
But here's what the Pharisees concentrated on
in verse number one.
She, and it come to pass that she find no favor in his eyes.
They just conveniently ignored the rest.
No favor in his eyes is referring to uncleanness.
Now, uncleanness, you might think,
well, what does that have to do with her
not taking a shower?
Uncleanness is sexual impurity.
That's, in scripture, that's what uncleanness refers to.
But they ignored that part and concentrated on no favor.
In other words, if you didn't like her anymore,
and her breath stank, she didn't keep the house clean enough,
she didn't speak to you with the kind of respect you want
or whatever, you could just send her away.
That's the way they interpreted it,
and that's the way their society had.
Now, go back to our text here, Matthew 19, verse seven.
Of course, the Pharisees are pressing the point
because they want liberty to easily divorce their wives
at their pleasure, and so their motivation
is very important in this conversation.
The motivation often determines the conversation,
and there is a world of difference between someone
who is seeking the truth and asking a hard question
and someone who is just looking for a pretext
and asking a hard question.
They want a pretext to undermine the sanctity of marriage.
That's what they want.
Because that's why they ignored, notice what they say,
why did Moses then give a command to give
a writing divorcement and to put her away?
You know what they left out of Deuteronomy 24, one and two?
One in particular.
They left out any condition, which is included, right?
It is included in Deuteronomy.
Look at verse eight.
He's athentic and Moses, because of the hardness
of your heart, suffered you to put away your wives,
but from the beginning it was not so.
Notice the hardness of your hearts,
the hardness of your hearts.
He's talking about, who is he talking about here?
He's talking about the Pharisees,
and by extension, mankind, who would not want
to stay married and cleave to their wives
or their husbands.
And so the indication here, I'm reading into it
a little bit, but the indication what the Lord
is saying here is essentially Moses tolerated divorce
because he knew that because of man's hardness of heart,
they would not stay with their wives, right?
So a provision was made for divorce.
That's essentially what Jesus is saying.
But it was not God's will from the beginning.
At this point, the Lord reverts it back
to its original plan, okay?
That's what you have to understand.
Now, what's interesting is that there are some times
that God permits things that are not His will.
You know that?
This is an example.
God tolerates things that are not what He wants.
This is an example of that.
He tolerated a divorce provision in His law,
even though that is not what His original purpose was.
But the question is, should we live in the toleration area
or should we live in the God's purpose area of life?
Yeah, we should be living in the area where God's
putting up with what we're doing,
but where we're actively doing God's will from the heart.
And here's the thing, as a test,
if our desire is to always be on the edge,
only we're doing everything we can get away with,
our heart is so far from God,
even though our walk hasn't yet got caught up to that.
We need to be in the area of God's perfect will,
what God directly and intentionally tells us
is what He wants.
And that's exactly what Jesus says in verse eight,
from the beginning it was not so.
This is God's will.
You know what that is?
Cleave.
Cleave.
But she did cleave.
But He did cleave.
That's it.
Look at verse number nine.
This is the big verse.
And I say unto you, whosoever shall put away his wife,
accept it be for fornication,
and shall marry another, committeth adultery.
And whoso marryeth her which is put away,
doth commit adultery.
Now, here's the summary of this verse.
Here's the summary of this verse.
Though a provision was made for divorce by Moses,
that provision cannot be used to switch wives
whenever one likes.
It is still adultery to divorce and marry another.
Now, look if you would at Mark chapter 10 again.
Mark 10 verse 11.
He saith unto them, whosoever shall put away his wife
and marry another, committeth adultery against her.
And if a woman shall put away her husband
and be married to another,
she committeth adultery against him.
She committed adultery, I'm sorry.
She committed adultery.
What is missing from verse 10,
verse 11 and 12 in Mark?
The exception.
You know what that tells us?
It doesn't mean that the exception is not true.
Matthew has the exception.
Actually, the exception is repeated twice.
Once in Matthew five, and now here.
I don't think that the exception is like null and void
because of that, because it's not listed in Mark or Luke.
But the point is this.
Mark and Luke do not record the exception
because Jesus' point is not the exception,
but the rule, which is this.
Stay married.
His point is, well, I'm gonna make sure
you have a car, no.
His point is, in Mark, in Luke, no exception given
because, not because there is not one,
there is one in Matthew, but because he's trying to say,
stay married, stay cleave, stay married.
Listen, the truth is, our society has so devolved
and has so abandoned the sanctity and gravity of marriage
that it is, I was listening, I don't know if you guys
ever pay any attention to Dave Ramsey.
He has like a little podcast thing.
I was listening to one yesterday just by chance.
And these two people are Christian types.
I mean, they're Dave Ramsey flavor Christian.
And this lady called and she described
the bad situation she's in with her husband.
And I admit, it's a very difficult situation,
but their advice was immediately dumping, divorcing.
Have you gotten a lawyer yet?
That was, that was, just like that.
If the Christian community is saying,
first, first thing, get a divorce lawyer, dump him.
If the Christian community is saying that,
what is the world saying?
But the Lord says, listen,
you are bound to me.
You are one flesh, right?
Stay married, stay married.
That's what he's saying.
This is the main point.
Let me read a parallel passage in Luke 16.
Luke 16 says this,
whosoever put it away his wife and marry another
committed adultery and whosoever marry her
that is put away from her husband committed adultery.
Now, go back to Matthew 19,
because I want to deal with this exception.
I don't want to spend too much time
in the case of a consummated marriage.
And so you were engaged, you find out a girl
has been messing around or whatever,
or a man has been messing around, whatever the case,
you don't have to go through with the marriage.
You're free in that case to marry whoever.
Okay?
I don't think that's what it's referring to.
Let me show you why.
Now we know in scripture, Galatians chapter five, verse 19,
fornication and adultery are not the same thing.
Now we know they're not the same thing.
Galatians five lists them as two separate things.
And that's not the only place, there's many places.
They're not the same, but they are related.
Adultery is fornication,
but fornication is not always adultery.
To be adultery, one of the fornicators must be married.
That's the key distinction.
Look at first Corinthians five,
and I'll show you why that is the case
in an actual exception, or actual example.
First Corinthians five, verse one.
It is reported commonly that there is fornication
among you and such fornication
as is not so much as named among the Gentiles
that one should have his father's wife.
Normally, if a man had his father's wife,
what a messed up situation, but anyway.
We would call that adultery,
but the text calls it fornication.
See it?
So basically, although they're different,
the way I'm understanding that
is that fornication is kind of a broader term
that includes outside of marriage, inside of marriage,
and other sinful sexual practices,
whereas adultery is more narrow
and deals with one of the people being married,
even though it's still part of the umbrella of fornication.
So when we come to Matthew 19,
I think that verse number nine is indeed referring to,
or absolutely could refer to adultery
for a regular marriage, like we would view it.
So from verse number nine,
I think there's no way to get around
that there is an exception in the case
where one of the spouses commits adultery
while they are married,
because the exception comes from God,
who is the one who joined them.
He then has the power to make the exception
and grant the circumstances of something different.
And this indicates that if the exception is met,
the person is not required to divorce their husband,
but permitted to divorce their husband.
And I think the verse nine also then indicates
that if that act, if the exception is valid,
then the remarriage is also permissible.
Now, I can't answer every question about that,
but I think that's what the grammar demands, okay?
Again, if someone has a different view, that's okay.
In fact, my view on it has changed,
kind of have moved around a little bit.
But again, the key point is not the exception.
The key point is stay married.
And I think even if someone commits adultery,
I say this, my wife has never committed adultery on me
and I've never committed adultery on her.
I can't imagine what would go through my mind.
I mean, I cannot imagine.
I'm kind of a jealous person anyway.
My wife is too.
It would be very difficult to stay married.
Very difficult.
But I think the Lord would say,
if you can, do it.
That's hard to come out of my mouth, to be honest with you.
It is, it is.
It's hard for me to say,
knowing how painful and severe that is.
But people have done it.
People have done it.
I don't understand it, but people have done it.
Now, look at verse number nine again.
Whose service shall put away his wife,
except it be for fornication, shall marry another,
committeth adultery.
And whosoever marryeth her which is put away
doth commit adultery.
So we might get this idea, well,
this lady commits adultery against her husband
and so he divorces her so that he can get married again.
Well, she's free to do whatever
because they're divorced now.
No.
She is still bound to that commitment.
You know, there's times people get divorced
and this is the real crux of the matter.
And I'm gonna show you why it's so important
that we get what Jesus is saying
and not pay all our attention to the exception.
Because forget the exception for a minute.
Assume that is not a thing.
If a person gets a divorce,
they're supposed to remain unmarried or be reconciled.
That's the point.
Or be reconciled.
That's what Jesus is saying.
Anything outside of that is adultery,
accepting the death of the other spouse.
Look if you would at 1 Corinthians chapter number,
chapter seven.
1 Corinthians chapter number seven.
Verse 10.
And unto the married I command, yet not I but the Lord,
let not the wife depart from her husband.
But if she depart, let her remain unmarried
or be reconciled to her husband
and let not the husband put away his wife.
So on the authority of the Bible, I can say this.
Your wife's acting out, she's acting crazy,
she's not being nice, whatever the case might be,
let not the husband put away his wife.
Your husband's acting crazy, right?
He's, whatever.
Let not the wife depart from her husband.
That's what the Bible says.
Now, how many of you hear that and read that
and you can acknowledge what the text says
but sometimes it don't exactly feel right in every case,
does it?
It feels like, it feels really strict.
It's supposed to be.
It's supposed to be.
Because the Lord means it when he says
the two are one flesh.
And I think this is exactly the thing.
Now go back to Matthew nine, I'm almost finished.
Go back to Matthew nine and I'll show you why
this feeling of strictness is not something
that we alone in our society feel
but it's something the disciples felt.
Look at verse 10.
So Jesus essentially says what I just said.
There might've been people in his crowd
that were in a different condition of life at that point.
I have no idea.
I think probably the Pharisees were
because they were the ones
that wanted to switch wives all the time.
But notice in verse 10, the disciples said,
his disciples said to him,
if the case of the man be so with his wife,
it is not good to marry.
You know what that tells me?
That tells me that they heard what Jesus said loud and clear
and they felt the same way that we feel when we hear it.
Man, that's so strict.
Is that what you read?
Like man, maybe it's not good to get married there.
Like man, maybe it's not good to get married there.
No, getting married is good.
I mean, the Lord says that plainly.
Brother Joseph is getting married good.
Amen.
You better say yes.
But he would say no.
Getting married is good.
Getting married is good.
But what the Lord Jesus says is good too.
And sometimes things in our practical life
kind of conflict with what he says.
And so let me say this, this is kind of our takeaway.
I know there's exceptions.
I know there's difficulties in marriage.
There's conflict.
There's sins against one another.
I know all of that.
I know all of that.
But the takeaway, if you boil down the Lord's words
to one statement, you know what that is?
Stay married.
That's the statement.
Get married, stay married until one of you dies.
There's nothing to say that you have to get divorced.
Now verse 11.
Verse 11 says this, and he said unto them,
all men cannot receive this saying,
save they to whom it is given.
I know some people that have read into that to say,
well, what this means is basically that what Jesus said
doesn't really apply to everyone.
In other words, it's kind of a caveat.
It only applies to some people.
That's not what the Lord's saying at all.
He's not establishing multiple rules.
If he was establishing multiple rules,
then he would tell you the other rule
and he's not telling you another rule.
But I've had people say, well, that's, you know,
all that, the stuff about marriage doesn't really apply
to me because of this and that and the other.
No, it does.
The Lord only has one rule.
All the other rules are the same.
He has one rule on this.
And, you know, as a person who has seen the effects
of this and how complicated these questions become,
you know, I've seen it in my own family,
you know, I sympathize with that.
That, I mean, what do you do if it's already done?
Right, what do you do?
What do you do if both spouses,
maybe the divorce wasn't right,
but both of them got remarried, what do you do?
You divorce both of them and go back.
No, I mean, that's actually strictly forbid in the Bible.
You can't do that, right?
So on a practical level, you know,
you have to start where people are
and deal with it from there.
But we can't take those cases
and then rewrite what the Lord's original intent is.
We need to make his intent clear
for people like Sam and Anna,
for people like Ben and brother Phil,
for people like Abby and Josh and Martha,
people who are married, they need to know,
you're in this for life.
Work it out, stay with it.
You know, that's the answer.
My kids come to me and say, we're having trouble,
stay with it, stay with it, pray fast,
do whatever you gotta do, stay with it, stay with it.
And here's the thing, I know that those of you
that have gone through difficult things on this subject
would also say the same thing.
Even though you might have experienced
some of those difficulties, you would say the same thing.
Doesn't make it easy, but it does make it right.
And you know what?
Some of you in our church that have dealt
with some of these difficult questions in your own life
and have experienced some of these things in your own life,
you have a level of insight
that somebody like me doesn't have.
Because for good or for bad, you have that experience.
Whereas you can look at the scripture and say,
well, this is what the Bible says
and this is what happened in my life,
but I'm telling you, don't get there.
This is what the Lord's will is, right?
And so it reminds me of Sunday school,
incomprehensibility of God's knowledge,
how God can take all those things and use them for good.
It's just amazing, it really is amazing.
Let's pray together.