Ah, there we go. Hello there. That's better. Hello. Welcome to science. Welcome to Ranking of Horrors, episode two.
That is my oversized mug of water. I've had a cold of late. I'm mostly over it, but, you know, I'm still not...
Uh, a hundred percent, uh, especially voice wise and, um, uh, uh, just a little bit of congestion. Right. Um, but Hey.
Uh, that, that's what happens when you dance with science. Sometimes science, uh, dances right back. Um, okay. So we are doing a little bit of a theme here.
uh, and said theme. I'm going to adjust that camera a little bit. I should have done this shit earlier. Okay. Um, well, that's not good. Let's try that. Okay. That's better. Oh,
Man, coming in hot tonight. Anyway.
So we're going to do a bit of a haunting thing. Last time we were talking about possession and the omen and Exorcist Believer and whatnot. In fact, let's not dilly-dally.
Um, let's move over to the list. Uh, and there you have it there. There is, is science laid bare. Um, uh, best horror movie ever made as of this recording.
The Omen, uh, the worst horror movie ever made, um, is, uh, unknown visitor that, uh, door cam movie that, that, uh, really in the movie. Um,
that was real bad. That was, that was, that was real bad. Uh, uh, and the omen, of course, you know, I mean, uh, terrific. What are you going to do? So, um,
Let's get into it. I've got a list of 10 films. The idea is about every 10 films, we are going to... uh, you know, pause, do one of these shows, make sure that we, we have done the appropriate amount of science, um, as, as is, uh, needed as a, as is called for.
Um, so here we go. Um, let's start with, uh, you see, we gotta, we got a few, let's not, let's not start with a showstopper. Um,
I'll tell you what, here's an interesting one. Let's start with TerrorNet. TerrorNet, if you are in the know or not in the know, TerrorNet is a found footage film.
in which a team is being assembled to produce a show where they do kind of a ghost hunting show.
uh, right there on the internet for all to see. Uh, they're not like haunting, uh, or like investigating, uh, asylums and stuff like that. Like in most of these movies and a lot of these found footage movies. Um,
Instead, it is much more about like they're they're all going to be experts and they're going to talk to somebody who's going to call in and say, hey, I've got this weird shit going on.
And in the case of Terranet, weird shit indeed is going on. And so one of the people on this, you know, would be...
uh, team sends her a device that measures EMF and can do EVPs and all kinds of business. And, um,
And then, you know, things go squirrely. It turns out she actually is being haunted. And I think the reason that I'm doing this first is it's a bit of a bridge between, betwixt.
The last episode in this because it's kind of a haunting, but there's also a demon at work and the demon is like up to, up to no good. And one of the fellas.
that is on this ghost hunting team is a younger guy. He's kind of the tech guy. And then there was like an older, like fading actress.
kind of character and then finally a psychic and um you know this poor woman whose house is possessed and etc so
What I find interesting about this, because all of that sounds really routine, right? Very run-of-the-mill kinds of stuff. However...
There is a moment in the movie where one of the team members is possessed by this demon. And I have to say...
That is actually interesting. Okay, so what makes this possession interesting and different than any other possession movie?
And it comes down to the performance of the actor. And I suppose, you know, script and direction as well, where the demon doesn't understand computers and shit. You know, like the demon is doing demon shit. The demon does not compute.
and uh and as a result the uh the demon the dude who's possessed is just kind of staring at people on the on the camera and occasionally
moving the mouse around and clicking on some shit and just being like, what the fuck is going on here? And there is something... really amazing about the idea of a demon possessing somebody but not understanding technology in a way that makes it tough to demon
And anyway, so the, and I got to tell you the best, uh, for my money folks, the best moment comes when the demon dials up the cam girl that the, you know, main character, I suppose.
is um is fascinated with is is enamored with and has given a lot of money to by the way and
Um, when he, you know, at first she's kind of playing cool. She's like, Hey, thanks for sending me all that money. And I hope everything's okay with you. And we haven't talked and you look a little weird.
And he's just like, undress. And she's like, well, okay. You know, you did just send me several thousand dollars. Uh, so I can give you a little, a little tease. And he's just.
staring at her the whole time and she's like are you gonna say anything this is creepy and he just goes obey and that's the moment where i was kind of like look this movie hasn't completely won me over like it's not a good movie per se um but it
it's kind of interesting. It's kind of like that aspect of it. Uh, and the payoff isn't great. The, the ending is whatever, you know, the, the demons bouncing around and blah, blah, blah. Um, but that.
like five to 10 minutes of the film where the demon is just trying to get its bearings in a new world.
was really original. I don't recall ever seeing anything quite like that. And if, you know, look, if you're in chat and have...
a film that has a demon really struggling to fit in with the world, but still in a horror movie context, I'm kind of there for it. Let me know what that, uh, that movie is.
But I enjoyed that aspect of it. And the performances are pretty good. I think the kind of claim to fame here is that...
The fading actress character is played by the actress who is Romana in Doctor Who. Even though I'm not...
I vaguely remember that. I think that was the Tom Baker years. And I think that was kind of my era of Doctor Who when I did watch semi-regularly.
So, at any rate, you know, the performances overall are pretty good, I would say. Yeah, so, you know, all that said... uh it it's got a lot of downside it's it's kind of dull for big stretches up until the demon starts hopping around and and getting a lot more fun um and
You know, it's good. It's good. But it's not great. And I think that's...
that's my problem with it is, uh, it is not necessarily great. Um, and, and, and it's pretty middling overall. So, um, yeah.
Yeah. Uh, that all said let's get to an actual ranking, shall we? Um, okay. Let's, let's bring up the list.
Sorry, I was kind of eyeballing to make sure that there wasn't some technical problems, which there... honestly may have been may have been uh but regardless i've got uh the recording it'll go up then so that's fine but let's look at the list here where does where does terranet belong um
in, in this grand, grand scheme of things, where does Terranet fall? Uh, so, Hmm. All right. So look, it's way better than gods of the deep.
It's more entertaining than Blackwater Abyss for sure. All right, so better than Devil Inside. Better than...
See, this is where we get into some business because it's better than chasing the devil, even though chasing the devil. Hmm.
Yeah. I mean, it's in this realm, right? Like we're, it's not as good as the cleansing hour. It's not as good as the cleansing hour. So the question is, is terror net better than chasing the devil?
And both movies are basically found footage movies that have one good scene. And are one good sequence. But Terror Net... does have better performances overall it is a little more clever well chasing the devil is and like has more premise than execution terranet has a little bit of both
Okay, so it's better than chasing the devil. So the question is, is Terranet, scientifically speaking, is Terranet better than Exorcist Believer? Exorcist Believer's bigger budget, looks better, better performances.
But the first hour is okay. The first hour is okay. The last half of it is real dog shit, though. It's real silly. It's really not good.
Um, and there was no single thing in the exorcist believer that had me as excited as the thing that happened in terror net.
the the you know the demon in terranet was more interesting and engaging
Than anything going on in Exorcist Believer. The thing that makes the Exorcist Believer good. Is that there's a lot of promise in that first hour. And it never pays off. I think. I think Taranet.
scientifically speaking is, is better than the exorcist believer. Um, not what I would have expected before doing the science, but I,
It is not as good as The Cleansing Hour. It is not as good as The Cleansing Hour. Yeah. Okay. Taranet, your new number five. Fifth best.
uh, horror movie of all time. Good job. Congratulations to, uh, everyone at terror net. Um, okay. Let's keep it going. Let's, uh, let's dive into the hauntings, shall we?
with uh a movie uh entitled we are still here we are still here uh relatively recent horror film um all things being equal
by relatively recent. Um, uh, that's 2015. So it's almost 10 years ago now. Um, directed, uh, by, uh, is it Ted Gioshin?
who recently did Brooklyn 45. I mean, look, we haven't done the science on it, but I'd be willing to wager. Brooklyn 45 is...
a better movie scientifically speaking than, uh, we are the devil or no, we are still here. Sorry. Uh, we are still here. Uh, it's Barbara Crampton. Um, Lisa Marie shows up in it.
As kind of a psychic, Larry Fessenden. Speaking of Brooklyn 45, Larry Fessenden is bouncing around in this one. And it's a little... full core mixed with a haunted house movie with some really great ghost visuals and some good performances.
You know, this is the movie, and I might be mistaken about this. I have not done the research. I have not conducted the science on this particular aspect. But I want to say We Are Still Here feels like the movie...
Where people were like, oh, Barbara Crampton's coming back. Barbara Crampton is now a going concern. Again. And we are happy and we are better as a people.
and and we've missed her and we wanted her back and here she is uh that feels like about the time that that happened maybe you're next um which
Your next was, uh, let's see the year before I want to say, maybe I've got that all wrong. Uh, no 2011. Holy shit. Yeah. Several years before. Um, Anyway, look, we're just providing background to the science right now.
uh yeah yeah yeah uh rayman's and i didn't remember we are still here that was the reason i wanted to go back to it um and then and it was kind of one of the early movies that set the trend this this month
of haunted house stuff because I wanted to revisit it too. I remember feeling largely unimpressed by it, but, but thinking it was okay.
And on a second watch, I kind of feel the same way. I think it's good. It's interesting. It has a really... writerly family drama hooked to it that i like um but and it gets increasingly weird and silly as time goes on
And, and I like the fact that it is like, there's a little bit of the fog in it. There's a little bit of, um,
the house by the cemetery and gates of hell in it. There's definitely some Fulci.
You know, I'm kind of fascinated by it as this weird amalgamation of films. Definitely a little bit, strangely, of Amityville. Stick around. We're going to talk about Amityville.
Um, so it's been interesting to look at this as this, this weird.
you know, casserole of other movies that are probably better. The ghosts do look cool. Like they burned up. And so they have these glowing eyes and this kind of red ember skin.
It's cool. Like the ghosts are striking in this. But the family drama, even though it's a very, it's fertile ground, but it's also been done. And it's not particularly.
good family drama it's a very much like older couple lost a kid kind of stuff and then when you get into the lore of the town um that's kind of fun um and there's some some decent gore in it
Uh, but you know, all of that stuff never quite comes together in a way that's, that's really satisfying. So, uh, we are still here.
is ultimately, I think, a little frustrating. It feels like it should be better than it is. Even when you're watching it, you're like, all of this feels like something I should like more than I do.
And I think it's just because the characters, even though it's fun, they're good actors and it's great to have Barbara Crampton, you know, really taking a lead role in a film like this. Like Jacob's Wife is probably the best example of later.
Barbara Crampton just like coming in and kicking ass and taking names. But this was a case where it was great to have her in the movie, but I don't know that she had all that much to do.
and and that's disappointing so uh we are still here feels like a little bit of a uh a misfire in a lot of ways but
Um, you know, let's, Hey, let's get to the science of this. Let's, you know, there was no reason to dick around. Let's science it up. Um, we are still here is.
Definitely gonna be above... I mean, look, we're definitely above Exorcist Believer, which has weirdly become a dividing line of sorts right now.
But it's better than that. It's more entertaining than that. It's shorter than that. It hangs together better, which is to say that Exorcist Believer barely hangs together at all as a movie, whereas we are still here.
has all the right ingredients, even if the temperature on that cake was a little off or something. So definitely, definitely top of the half of the list, such as it is.
Um, okay. Is it better than terror net? Yes. Is it better than the cleansing hour?
Hmm. Yes. Yes. It is better than the cleansing hour. Is it better than a late night with the day with the devil?
which has a great David Desmalchian performance. It doesn't break new ground, but it's really good at what it does. The ending is...
is really bonkers for better or worse, but it goes places. It's a bold ending. Even if I, you know, it's unsatisfying. It's an unsatisfying ending.
Uh, but it's really compelling. Like most of late night with the devil rocks. Um, so I don't think we are still here gets to.
Late night with the devil territory. I, I, it memories. Uh, let's do a little bit of this. Okay.
not insert cut cells. That's not what I do. Oh my goodness. Um, yes. So that's what I want to do. Okay. Yeah. Um,
Well... Oh, the list. She is still new. Okay, we are still here in number four. There you go. Science. Bing, bing, boom. That's how it's done.
Uh, okay. We're still here. Uh, our new number four. Congratulations, uh, to everyone, uh, at the, you know, we're still here.
family all right enough of that sweet home sweet home is a movie uh if you listen to the most recent dark parade podcast uh the main show
Um, Court and I discussed Sweet Home. Sweet Home is, uh, a movie that inspired a, uh, Resident Evil or the game tie-in that was released.
alongside Sweet Home, was an inspiration for the Resident Evil video game series. Although Sweet Home, aside from taking place in a home,
Uh, it bears little resemblance to what happened in the resident evil films, um, or games. Okay. Enough of that background. Sweet home.
is uh is is bananas um it is about a film crew trying to you know shoot These murals from a brilliant lost artist and along the way run afoul of ghosts that live in the place.
Uh, it turns out there's a, this incredibly tragic backstory of, uh, the, the wife who lived in the house having accidentally killed a child there, uh, which features.
A few things. First of all, features Dick Smith special effects. Dick Smith from The Exorcist. Speaking of The Exorcist. And that burned up baby puppet in Sweet Home.
Holy God, you guys. Holy jumped up bald headed Jesus Palomino. That is one crazy burn dead baby puppet. It's shocking. It's shocking.
Um, sweet home is great. Uh, it's a lot of fun. Um, it, it has a very kind of traditional, uh, ghost story haunted house kind of, kind of vibe to it.
But everything about it is just a little bit weirder. It's like 20% weirder than you think it needs to be.
Like when people get killed, they kind of melt into this red goo or something. And...
At the end of the movie where there's a ghost being dealt with, like the ghost of the woman who killed her baby is being dealt with. Then...
Like that becomes this giant monster for no discernible reason. But that's what happens.
And one of the members of the crew gets semi-possessed by this woman and goes and digs up a baby in the backyard.
And then the crew is like, Hey, you're acting all crazy. And then they just rebury the baby all over again. It's crazy. Sweet home is crazy. Um, like with a lot of.
asian horror it's very silly at times it's it's it's over the top it's very arch um you know it telegraphs everything
You know, like, I love that. But we're talking about science here. And as much as I love Sweet Home, there are things about Sweet Home that don't work.
Um, the relationship between the father and the producer is real half baked.
You know, it forgets the father character entirely until he shows up as a coward at the end. There are things it does that are really interesting as well.
you know, I like it, but is it, is it universally good? You know, is this a movie that you could put in front of anyone?
And, and they're going to dig it. And on that level, I think Sweet Home is a little more of a niche taste because it is kind of crazy. Like part of the fun of Sweet Home is, holy shit, I can't believe that they did that.
Or I can't believe it looked like that. Or I can't believe that character is dumping, you know, two gallons of sand out of one shoe. You know, that kind of weird stuff. It's the way that...
You can't really recommend full-throatedly.
Like a Fulci movie, because it's like, well, the story doesn't make any sense, and there's no characterization. It's just kind of a vibe thing, man. And that's a little bit of Sweet Home. It's not entirely without...
you know, objective merit. Um, but it's not, it's not a stone cold classic or anything. And it's, it's not something that you can just hand to anybody.
Uh, Hey Gary, what's up, man? Yeah, I'm doing well. I'm still getting over a cold, but, uh, you know, look, science waits for no man. Okay.
So speaking of science, we have talked to death, Sweet Home. So let's look at our list. And where on this list does Sweet Home go?
Definitely, definitely above the Exorcist Believer line, right? Better than Terranet. Better than the Cleansing Hour.
Oh, is it, it's more memorable than the cleansing hour. The cleansing hour is a solid movie. Um, the cleansing hour, I feel like really is the Mendoza line here where.
Everything below the cleansing hour have some pretty substantial flaws. The cleansing hour is okay throughout.
And then everything above that, like we are still here is better than just okay. Um, so I feel like that's where we are. That's my thinking.
As I'm looking at this list unfold and what the science is, is, is determining what the science tells us. And so I think, uh, to that end.
Sweet home goes above cleansing hour because it's better than just okay, but it is niche. So I don't think it's late night with the devil.
The question is, is Sweet Home better than We Are Still Here? Which is weird that the first two are kind of going head to head. But is We Are Still Here better than Sweet Home?
I think Sweet Home is better. That's the initial reaction. We Are Still Here is good throughout.
good performances. The family drama stuff doesn't work, but neither does it work in Sweet Home. Sweet Home set pieces are more frequent and they're weirder and they're more fun.
Even though we're still here, it has some fun too. I think if we're honest about the science...
Sweet home is better than we are still here. Um, so let's see.
If this feels like the science is, is leading us to the right conclusions. Lena. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This list hasn't gotten stupid yet.
Uh, yeah, good. Okay. Okay. That was, that was a little, that was a little bit tougher, a little bit tougher. I'm not gonna lie.
All right, let's look. Let's just keep the hits coming. Just one banger after another. Sweet home to the innkeepers.
Let's talk about it. Let's talk about the innkeepers. We're talking about Ty West. Um, we are talking, uh, uh, the, some truly great.
haunted house stuff. We're talking Kelly McGillis, uh, you know, uh, what the Sarah Paxton, um, and for me, when I think about
uh, the innkeepers. I, I'm forever thinking about the relationship between, um, Pat Healy and Sarah Paxton. Um, I think without that working, the movie entirely falls apart.
And I think the writing between them is really good. The relationship between them is really good. They have chemistry together. All of that stuff is great.
The ghost stuff is good. It feels like a parlor ghost story for a modern era. And I think that's tough to pull off.
Because it doesn't ignore things like, you know, sort of the, you know, where capitalism brings this illustrious old hotel and...
Um, you know, this, you know, the, this connection to the web that also brings about this loneliness. One of, one of the big things I think in.
the end keepers is this pervading sense of like isolation and loneliness. And I think that's, um, it's, it's effective. It's heartbreaking.
It's captivating. Like all of those things I think are true. I really like being in the world of the innkeepers as a viewer. I think it's a really sad.
I think there's a real morose quality to it. But I think like most good ghost stories, there is an underlying sadness. Like there's some scares, but also...
There's this pervading sense of loss and sorrow. And that's the stuff that really... comes through in the end keepers i i think it's a ghost story in in some of the best ways where the the characters are interesting and you want them
to discover something. But then once they start discovering stuff, you're like, this is getting kind of creepy and real. And the movie is grounded enough that...
It does feel real that even though the stakes are ultimately quite low in the, in terms of where most movies go, I mean, there are life and death matters, but.
It's not, you know, if we don't stop this, then ghosts will take over the world. It's this very quiet and intimate story. And the...
The aching that you get from Pat Healy of how he feels about Sarah Paxton and him being aware, like she's probably younger. She certainly looks younger.
But he's just such a sad sack. And he's trying to be a good guy, but kind of fucks it up because he's just human, you know? He's a little cowardly. He's...
You know, he lies to her about seeing stuff in the hotel just because he wants to hang out with her. And like, all of these things are...
You know, it kind of knocks against him as a person, but there are also relatable things. And I really love it. I think The Innkeepers is a really wonderful movie. And Kelly McGillis is really interesting as this actress who's kind of...
you know, real salty up front, but then becomes, uh, this almost maternal figure for, for Sarah Paxton, or at the very least a friend. Um,
Yeah, it's, and you know, the thing with the old man at the end, it's like, you know, when it goes for scary, the scary works for the most part, but I don't think it's the most memorable thing about the innkeepers.
I don't think that the innkeepers lives and dies by the ghost stuff being overly scary. It's just, you know, to go back to the thing about, you know, Fulci, it's kind of a mood.
But it's a mood that is constructed really well by Ty West. It's not just like, hey, Ty West has this crazy style, and if you're into it, you're going to dig it. Like, The Innkeepers is a really... well-done well-crafted well-written well-directed film um which i you know at this point that means
we got to rank it. Where, where does it fall on this list? Um, it's a good question. I think definitely above cleansing hour.
No doubt about that. It's going to be above Sweet Home. It's above Late Night with the Devil. Is it better than Near Dark?
Is the innkeepers better than near dark, which is another vibe movie and it's beautiful and it's got an amazing centerpiece scene.
The secondary actors are incredible. I mean, it's, you know, groundbreaking in some ways. But, but.
The two main characters are not that good. Everything else about the movie is amazing, but the two main characters are not that good. And it's a big hole in the middle of that movie.
The Innkeepers is better than Near Dark. It is not The Omen. It is not The Omen. Okay. Okay.
We've been lighting up that top half of the list. Let's talk about Lost Voyage. Lost Voyage.
uh, is a movie starring Judd Nelson and, uh, uh, who else is in it? There's, uh, Lance Henriksen. I think he's speaking of Lance Henriksen.
Uh, he is in this lost voyage movie. Uh, Mark Shepard, uh, is in it from supernatural. The guy who plays Crowley in, um, in supernatural, he's in it.
And oh man, it's okay. So it's, it's very event horizon. It there's if event horizon and go ship had a baby.
But they couldn't afford a real hospital. The Lost Voyage would be the movie that was born out of it. It is directed... by christian mcintyre uh who is known for such films as phantom force uh which kind of seems like the same movie uh silent warnings which is about crop circles
And then a movie called Antibody, uh, also starring Lance, uh, Henriksen. Um, anyway, that, that is not a filmography.
uh, that you necessarily, you know, want by your bio. But then again, I'm the asshole who wrote lost after dark. So what the fuck do I know? Um, okay.
So Lost Voyage, very event horizon. Judd Nelson's parents go on this cruise. He can't go for some reason. The ship disappears in the Bermuda Triangle. And then it's found again.
uh, by Lance Henriksen and his salvage crew. And they go out to, uh, to get it. So, um, Judd Nelson is brought along cause he, you know, uh, has some tie to the ship and the story.
And so, you know...
They go out there. He's investigating for like ghosts and things that go bump in the night. There's a TV reporter along for the ride. Uh, there's land Hendrickson and his goons that are there for the salvage rights.
And the premise is not bad. You know, it's not new.
Like none of this is a surprise, but it's, you know, okay, fine. Ship goes missing, comes back.
You know, immediately weird, creepy stuff starts happening. All that stuff is totally fine. But...
Uh, the big problem with lost voyage, um, is that it's incredibly cheap. Like, you know, I don't want to undersell how cheap it is.
It's one of those movies where lightning is going on all the time, but sometimes they're in rooms in the interior of the ship and there will still be lightning. You're like,
I don't know about this. It's just a mess. Like, it's cheap.
It's clearly done on the quick. Nobody was paying attention. The actors acquit themselves well. I will say that.
Lance Henriksen is pretty good in this. Mark Shepard is fun in this. Judd Nelson has some moments. I'm kind of a Judd Nelson apologist, I would say. I think he is...
I think he is a better and more interesting and quirkier actor than, you know, fate would have you believe. I think he made...
you know, like the dark backwards was really, I think a dividing line where people were like, eh, I don't know about this Judd Nelson thing. Uh, maybe not, maybe not, maybe he's not a real movie star. Um, anyway.
So...
Well, acting is fine. And oh my God, at the end of this movie, it's like everything pops off. It's a big, you know, ghost bonanza with ghosts flying everywhere. And it looks like utter shit.
it's embarrassing. The, some of the stuff that, uh, like some of the internal scenes of the ship when they're like in these state rooms and whatnot.
It just, it looks so bad. It like asylum level bad. It's just awful. Um, so let's not waste any more time. Um,
Alright. Lost Voyage. Definitely bottom of the list. Definitely worse than Terranet. Worse than Believer. Worse than The Devil Inside? Yes. Yes.
Worse than Blackwater Abyss? Oh, now this is an interesting question. This is interesting. Is... Is Lost Voyage...
Better or worse than Gods of the Deep? Ugh. Man. That's a real...
That's a real question. Gods of the deep is also super cheap. You know what? Yeah. Okay. Okay. Yes.
The acting alone is better in Lost Voyage. So Lost Voyage is our new number 13. Lucky 13.
Yeah, it's a bad movie, but it's not... It is not... There we go. It's not Gods of the Deep Bad. It is not.
it is not that bad. Okay. All right. Working our way through these. Oh, you know what? Let's do this next.
Speaking of go ship, um, Oh, look at that. I don't think I, uh, I fit that correctly. Um,
Speaking of Go Ship, let's try that again. There you go. Yeah, so Lost Voyage, Go Ship, one and the same. And watching Lost Voyage led me to reappraise Go Ship because I hadn't seen this in years and years.
You know, you remember the opening scene because of course you do. But I remember the rest of it being, you know, just off-putting. And I didn't remember shit about it.
And so it felt good to go back and at least kind of confirm what I thought. But, you know, to say it for the record, for the sake of science.
Go ship is, uh, 2002 stars. Gabriel Byrne, Juliana Marlies, uh, who else? Ron elder.
Isaiah Washington, Carl Urban, Emily Browning, uh, you know, the, the lady, what from sucker punch and what, and all, um, yeah, she's in it as a, as a real little girl. Um, and it's directed by Steve.
Beck who also did 13 ghosts which is a better movie in my head I mean without getting science involved but in my head the better movie is 13 ghosts
Okay, so Ghost Ship has the amazing opening scene, which is everybody on deck dancing. And this wire, you know, cuts loose and then gets jerked taut and like slices.
uh, you know, everyone dancing on the, the aft deck in half or cuts off their head or whatever. And it's a great scene. That's a really memorable, striking scene. And then.
Just as I recalled from the last time I watched this movie, which was almost nothing. And chances are, give me about, I don't know.
90 days and asked me what happens in the movie ghost ship. And I won't remember that either because it like, it is a movie seemingly designed to make you forget what the hell happened in it. But it turns out.
that the ship went essentially to hell. Again, it's kind of an event horizon scenario where the ship goes off to somewhere with Wes Bentley.
And, uh, and comes back and, you know, the salvage crew is, uh, doing its thing. And, um, yeah and and you know the salvage crew led by gabriel byrne and and juliana margulese find the thing and they're like oh shit uh you know the this is international waters we can take it and
And Gabriel Byrne seems as the captain of this, you know, salvage crew is, is pretty fun in it up to a point.
um but you know it's it's the hey he was a former alcoholic and he's definitely gonna have a drink somewhere in the course of this movie
But he's the one that's like, you know, I've been out on the sea for a long time, laddies. Here's some stories of ships lost at sea and the men who walked on them and were cursed. Cursed, I tell you.
Um, he says in the movie, um, yeah, it's, it's, you know, like that kind of stuff is really fun. That's what you want this movie to be, but it's not very.
good when it comes to its scares aside from that opening scene with everybody being sliced and diced you know i remember vaguely how people die in the movie but it's fucking boring
It's a boring movie, um, which is frustrating. It's frustrating that this movie is as boring as it is. Cause 13 ghosts, again, not going to say it's a good movie.
But it's got a pace to it. And also, I guess, Matthew Lillard bouncing around, which is something. But it's, yeah, this movie's real, real dull as dirt.
kind of filmmaking and you know it's got a twist ending of like oh the horror is still real oh and also some early cgi going on in this movie um which is from what oh two
So, you know, 20 plus years ago, but after Jurassic Park and this and Jurassic Park effects, there's a lot of green screen explosions and stuff like that. It looks bad.
It's just boring. It's got one good thing about it. And we've talked about a couple of these movies tonight where there's like that one thing. There's one thing that makes it interesting. But...
that's not enough to carry the movie. Um, okay. So with the evaluation done, let's look at where
Ghost ship is below, below the cleansing hour. I mean, is it that easy? Is it?
All right. Is it better or worse than the exorcist believer? Oh, again, it's got that one scene, but that's all it's got.
Is it better or worse than the exorcist believer? I can't believe I keep coming back to this place where I'm thinking about the exorcist believer as this weird standard. Um,
of missed opportunity. You know, I mean, we're South of the line where the movie's good and we're, and that's right. Cause it's not a good movie. Um,
Definitely better than Blackwater Abyss. Definitely better than the devil inside. Is it better or worse than chasing the devil? It's better than chasing the devil.
Is it better or worse than exorcist believer? I mean, all right. So the exorcist believer has good performances, you know, when, when people are trying.
Ellen Burstyn aside. Um, I don't know what is go ship.
It does have that one crazy scene. It does have some decent performances. This is tough, you guys.
Is it better or worse than Terranet? Maybe that'll help. No, it's definitely worse than that.
Hmm. I'm struggling with this one. Is ghost ship better or worse than the exorcist believer? You know what? Okay. Okay. The exorcist believer.
The plot's nonsense. But the effect stuff is pretty good. Yeah. Okay.
yeah i'm sure i don't god only knows what i oh did i say water potential um okay all right yeah yeah so go ship worse than the exorcist believer
Okay. Okay. Ooh, that's tough. Those are real neck and neck. Those are.
Those are some real neck and neck kind of films. Um, yeah, Rayman, I'm looking at your thinking too. I think that's the science here.
Goship is wasted potential. The Exorcist Believer has a good buildup that just doesn't go anywhere. And at least it's got a solid 45 minutes of entertainment.
before i lose all hope and goship does not have that yeah yeah good good good good i'm glad to see that fellow scientist abraham uh what a battle for mediocrity he says yes
Um, yeah. You know what? You know what's not mediocre? Uh, well, I don't know. Let's see what the science says. 1986 is house. House. Not houseoo.
Uh, not the house starring Michael Madsen. That's right. Isn't it? That cheap movie, Michael Madsen haunted house movie. Anyway, one of them, it's him or a size more.
Look, I have a long history with this movie. I have...
I saw it when I was a kid. Before I even saw it, there was a magazine, a zine, if you will, called The Horror Show that I was a subscriber to as a kid because I was a big horror nerd.
And, um, on, uh, or within the pages of the horror show, they reviewed a house and gave it a positive review, uh, which I agree with, uh, all things being equal. And.
Um, but it, it, it stuck with me. Like it was a movie I was anticipating and then I saw it and it's really weird, but I really enjoyed it. There were things I really loved about it. I watched it a million times.
Later on, I had the good fortune to interview the writer, Ethan Wiley. And I remember saying to him, the thing that I really like about House is... that once you're inside the walls it seems like all the rules are off that like just crazy things can happen left and right and wiley said
no, no, no. There are very specific rules, but he didn't elaborate. And I was not in a position to say, I need you to explain them. Uh, but I, I wonder about that to this day. And I think Ethan Wiley may have passed on.
Um, hopefully not, hopefully not. But, uh, let me, let me confirm before, uh, I say something terrible that, uh, uh, poor Ethan Wiley.
is not, you know, uh, no longer with us, but let's see. Uh, Ethan Wiley.
Um, biography does not say I, maybe he's still alive. Maybe, maybe he's a, be an older man at this point, but, uh, you know, as of 2017 was still writing stuff.
Um, so good for him. Hope he's doing well. Uh, he was an interesting guy to talk to anyway. Um, so I did like this movie has just kind of been a constant presence in my life in a lot of ways.
So, uh, you know, but my feelings aside, like if I were looking at this list just as me personally, this would be around innkeepers. Um, but scientifically let's, let's.
think about this. Um, it's the story of William cat, AKA the greatest American hero who, uh, inherits, uh, his, aunt's house after she kills herself in that house uh that same house um his son disappears seemingly into the swimming pool
And, uh, also it turns out that he was, he grew up there that his aunt raised him. Um, that he's a, he's a horror writer, very Stephen King like, I think blood dance.
is the book they keep talking about. I loved blood, blood dance. Yeah. Thanks. Um, to my best friend. What is, uh, not Omar or something like that. Um, Anyway, I'm thinking the whole book signing scene where it's just one weirdo after another coming to get a book signed.
And at one point, Roger Cobb, AKA the greatest American hero says to his agent or publicist, like, who are these people? And he says, your biggest fans.
Um, that, that's a line that's hung with me for many, many years. Uh, so yeah, is, so there, he moves back into the house.
to write a book, which is a memoir of Vietnam. And in the process of doing so discovers that there really is weird shit going on inside the house. And that maybe.
those weird things hold the secret to, um, you know, finding his son. And, um, the weird things that happen in the house include.
but are not limited to a monster that comes out of a closet only at midnight, a swordfish that comes to life on the wall.
A weird ogre-like creature that seems to be a doppelganger of his wife that tries to kill him with a shotgun.
What am I leaving out? Oh, flying garden utensils. You know, a dog.
That runs away with part of a zombie hand, you know, all just normal stuff, right? Just normal, regular, schmegular, uh, horror movie stuff. Also bull from night court is the,
heavy in the movie as an old friend of Roger's that he was in Vietnam with who tragically died in Vietnam and Roger deals with like he's going through that trauma and the thing that
is interesting about the movie in retrospect and watching it through adult eyes is seeing how much it's trying to do. Like it's.
it's trying to talk about the Vietnam war and keep in mind, you know, like this movie was made a decade after Vietnam. So not that far historically from, from ground zero.
It's trying to do Vietnam stuff. It's trying to do this broken family thing. It's trying to be a comedy. It's trying to be a horror film. It's schizophrenic to say the least.
And yet, I think William Catt is pretty good in this. He's got a delivery with his neighbor. George Wendt from Cheers is his neighbor. And...
At one point, he's trying to get George Wendt to help him catch this monster in his closet. And he has told him that there is, in fact, a monster in the closet. And George Wendt says...
No, no, I thought you said there was a monster in there. I'm not going to help it. That's crazy. And he's like, no, it wasn't a monster. It was a raccoon, a really big one.
And then his delivery, the weird delivery is on this line. You're not afraid of a raccoon, are you? And it's this weird aria that he does.
one of those quirks of an actor that has stuck in my head for, you know, 30, 40 years. Um, ever since I saw the movie for the first time. Um, anyway,
There's that. That's a very funny moment for me. Likewise, there's a moment where he and William Cat and George Wynn are having dinner and he says, do you think I'm crazy?
And George Wynn says, well, you know, your kid went missing and you lost your wife. Your aunt killed herself in this house. So you got a couple of marbles loose, but you're not crazy. And I really...
I like that, that vibe, you know, like, yeah, sure. You got a couple of marbles knocking around up there, but yeah, sure. Who wouldn't? Mostly you're fine. The problem with house.
Is that it's a lot of vignettes. It's a lot of little bits and pieces. And it doesn't really fit together very well. Like the jigsaw puzzles are kind of forced into place.
Um, it's kind of funny and you know, the, the end of the movie is sufficiently heroic, but also it's, it's pretty silly and you know, It feels like it's making fun of its own premise.
And that it can't take itself seriously. And so if it can't take itself seriously, how can you take the drama? And the least interesting stuff in the movie, as it turns out, is the bit with him and his kid.
which should be the whole center of the movie. And it's kind of the least interesting thing. It's way more fun to see this guy like banging around and, you know, talking to.
you know norm from cheers and trying to make a little time with the lady jogging down the street and living in a haunted house the whole time like that feels like enough for the movie without the kid thing
And the broken marriage, but you know, uh, I just don't think it totally works completely, but I think it's good. It's fun. Um, and, and so that brings us to.
uh, the science of it, which is where does it fall? So definitely we can, we can put exorcist believer in our rear view. It's way better than that. Uh, it's better than terror net. It's better than the cleansing hour.
It's, it's, it's better than we are still here because it's more fun. It's in the ballpark of sweet home. Like I think house lives somewhere in this neighborhood.
Somewhere in here, house lies. Is it better or worse than Sweet Home? It's not as good as Late Night with the Devil.
Late night with the devil is a better movie. So it's really, is it above sweet home? Is it below sweet home? Um, it's it i would yes i would far rather deal with house than we are still here we are we are still here has it suffers from some of the things same things right like it suffers from that
uh, a little doing a little bit too much of everything and not doing one thing particularly well, but it is, it's just more interesting. It's more interesting. It's more entertaining.
It's a peppier, it's got a real spirit to it. Much like Sweet Home. I think House is better than Sweet Home.
As much as I like it, and we've already talked about Sweet Home, it does feel like a particular taste. House also feels that way, but it does feel like...
It's more of a popcorn movie than sweet home. And that doesn't necessarily make it better or worse, but it makes it a little more accessible. Um, so yeah.
Yeah. I think this is house. And we'll put the year on it because we may encounter other houses along the way.
But, um, yeah, your new number five house, uh, starring William cat. Um, all right. I think, I, I think I have the order in which we do our final three.
So let's do this. Because we're already over an hour. Okay.
A movie that I will be talking to, um, one Richard Glenn Schmidt about in a very short order. Uh, you will, we're recording that episode this weekend. You will hear it shortly thereafter.
Um, a movie on a, uh, or an episode of the dark parade on a movie called X cross. Uh, this was, uh, directed by Kenta Fukasaku.
who is the guy who directed Battle Royale 2. And also, I think Black Rat is the other movie that he did.
And I feel like I've either seen Black Rat or I have circled seeing it so many times that I just feel like I have seen it.
But I need to double check that. We'll get around to it once the science calls for it. Also directed a movie called Yo-Yo Girl Cop.
which I cannot believe I have not seen because it does in fact appear to be about a girl cop who uses a yo-yo as her, uh, as her weapon of choice. Um, but we're talking about X cross X cross.
Uh, I'll tell you what, this is a pretty good summary. So let me, let me rip through this recovering from a failed love affair. Shiori heads to the country in the company of best friend and bad girl. I go.
Having taken a long soak in the hot spring, they retired to their respective cabins.
They soon discover that the tranquil village is the home of a cult with a fetish for cutting off female legs. Left leg in particular. That's me. That's the editor's note. Trying to escape, they are split up and kept and keep in touch via their mobile phones.
multiple points of view and timeframes keeps the viewer on their toes, trying to discern the grisly fate of those lost girls. Um, okay.
That is a pretty good summary of what happens in X-Cross. X-Cross is another Japanese film that can best be described as bananas.
So, it mentioned the timeframes jumping. Pardon me. Not only do the timeframes jump, there is...
It's like another movie collides into this. There's the movie with Aiko and Shiori going to the hot springs.
And Shiori isn't sure if she can trust Aiko. And there's a little bit of like body snatchers-esque paranoia of who can I trust and who can I not trust in this movie that works pretty well. There are some moments where...
you really do feel like, oh, Shiori is completely on her own. There's, you know, everyone is lying to her. Everyone has betrayed her. But there's that. And then...
the, you know, as you see on the poster poster that way, uh, this girl with the patch on her eye and the scissors, uh, that's Rekha. Um, she just slams into this movie.
Because she has a beef with Aiko. And that becomes this whole other thing happening in the movie. And it does feel like there were two movies.
And one, like neither were enough to fill the runtime, but just like chocolate and peanut butter, you can put them together and they're two great tastes that taste great together.
All of a sudden you've got this movie where a cult is trying to cut off Shiori's leg, but also Reika... is in gothic Lolita attire and has giant scissors and is trying to kill Aiko for fucking her boyfriend.
And that movie is happening. And Aiko keeps getting the best of Reika. And every time Reika comes back, she looks and acts crazier.
leading to a point in the movie where these two things finally collide. And it's kind of great. You know, X-Cross is really...
Uh, it's bonkers and, and really gets out there, but it's, it's fun. It's a good movie. And we'll talk about it in a lot more detail. Uh, when RGS and I talk about it, uh, this weekend.
and you know like i said that episode will be up you know soon uh once we record it'll be up soon soon thereafter um but in terms of ranking it uh you know
Um, you know, let's look where to, where does a thing like X cross, uh, show up on this list. And it's, it's definitely above cleansing hour. It's, it's better than okay.
It's better than we are still here. It's better than sweet home. Is that right? Is it better than sweet home?
Another Japanese horror film. Is it better than that? Sweet Home has its problems. Like Sweet Home doesn't totally hang together. X-Cross shouldn't.
But it does. So it's better than that. It's better than House. Is it better than Late Night with the Devil? Oof.
is it better than late night with the devil late night with the devil we've we've talked about this already but it's it's
It's very good. It's very fun. It perfectly captures the time period that it's doing a pastiche of. It's got a great performance in the middle of it.
I, and even though the end isn't quite what I would want, it's, it's, it's still pretty good. So I think this is, I think this is not.
That tough. I think that X-Cross fits pretty neatly. Right there.
I think yes. Cause even if you're not a Japanese horror fan, like X cross is weird and wild enough that.
you would get into it just because it's it's got that kind of spirit to it and it does have a really interesting take on you know female relationships and and and you know
What is the female equivalent of bros before hoes? Whatever that is, that's kind of the vibe of X-Cross, and I dig it. Okay, so we've got two to go.
And these are both, these are both big deals to one for, for different reasons. Uh, the first is just look every now and again, we got to talk about.
the best of the best. And that's where we talk about the haunting, uh, from 63, I want to say, uh, let me, let me double check my math on this.
Um, uh, yeah. 63 directed by Robert Wise, of course, uh, who did like West side story and, um, geez, what else did he do? I mean, like.
uh, classics across the board with sound of music, uh, did star Trek, the motion picture of the day the earth stood still, um, the Andromeda strain.
Somebody up there likes me. The Sand Pebbles. Audrey Rose. Run Silent, Run Deep. That's a movie I've been thinking about watching for a while now. Yeah, I mean, look, this guy's filmography is...
He's just incredible. Like, Robert Wise is an amazing director. The Haunting is an amazing movie. As...
A letterbox would have you believe. The plot is Dr. Markway, doing research to prove the existence of ghosts, investigates Hill House, a large, eerie mansion with a lurid history of violent death and insanity.
Um, okay. It is a hell of a film. Uh, it's got great performances. Uh, Julie Harris, uh, Claire Bloom.
Uh, Russ Tamblyn, Dr. Jacoby himself is, uh, uh, is in it. Um, uh, Claire Bloom, by the way, as, uh, Theo.
in the movie her relationship with uh julie harris who plays eleanor um much has been made of this and rightfully so it's an interesting dynamic where
Theo seems to be bisexual, maybe lesbian. You know, look, it's 1963. It is not directly addressed, but it is a thing in the film. It is something that that.
kind of insinuates itself into some of the scenes. It's a really interesting dynamic. Look, this movie is still a banger.
It definitely has the trappings of its era. You know, it feels very theatrical.
In a way that, you know, movies moving into the late 60s and early 70s became grittier and more realistic. And this isn't that.
you know uh but but judging it on its own merits using using science as our guide it is incredibly layered um it is a movie that you can take on the surface as
This is a story of people going to investigate a haunted house and a woman shows up there and the house targets her and it ends up killing her. And now she is part of the house.
At its most superficial, that's the story. And that's enough. That's enough. For most movies, that is more than enough. But The Haunting works on...
deeper and deeper levels um is eleanor really the cause of what's going on in the house is this all in her fucking head um you know there are moments that she shares these uh moments with theo but it's just banging like
We never see what's really going on. The suggestion by Wise is that there is a real haunting going on. But even if that part is true, then you get to the help Eleanor come home.
you know, that scrawled on the wall one night. Did Eleanor write that? Did she not write it? If she didn't write it, if this was something that the house wrote, then where is the comma?
You know, is it please comma help Eleanor come, uh, come home or is it please help Eleanor comma Eleanor come home? Like is the house talking to her directly? Um, so.
There's all that stuff. There's the background that is told in very careful bits and pieces of Eleanor's.
backstory and taking care of her mother. And there's that great scene with her and her sister of like,
Hey, the car is half mine and I'm going to take it and you can't stop me. And I've never done anything because I've always been taking care of our mother and you didn't help with that. And now I'm going to go have an adventure.
And so much of the movie is about her wanting a home, wanting to belong somewhere, having difficulty with that, not being able.
to do it appropriately. Not, you know, this fantasy of like Dr. Mark away is going to be this lover. And then his wife shows up and you know what that does to her. And the questions keep coming, uh, which are.
Is this about Eleanor's crumbling mind? Is it about a haunted house? Is it about the haunted house affecting Eleanor's crumbling mind? It's like all of this stuff is going on. Like every scene.
there are like five different things to kind of focus on and think about and pick apart. And, you know, even something as simple as when they first get to the house and Dr. Mark away is like, yeah, I mean, this house has a reputation.
And there's a reason for that. Like, look, here's these doors that will absolutely close because they're hung on uneven hinges. So he opens the door and he stands there and the door doesn't close.
turns around and he talks to the ladies. They turn back and the door is closed. And he's like, see what I tell you. But it's, it's always the thing that happens out of sight. And.
there are people who get frustrated with this movie because you don't ever see anything explicit, but that's the genius, right? That's the three barrels and jaws.
And it's what makes the haunting so good because the, what you don't see is way scarier than what you do see. And especially because wise is playing this game about like, well,
Let's think about the psychology. Like what, what if this isn't just a haunted house, you know? Um, anyway, sorry.
I think the dog just peed on his bed. Goodness gracious, Cash. We got a real problem with this dog lately. Anyway, so back on track. The haunting is a...
a great movie. Like they're like hands down a great movie. It ends with that terrific Russ Tamblyn line about, you know, the house should be burned. It should be burned and the earth should be salted.
And it's a great way to end the movie. It's just terrific. And so let's go to the list. And the question is...
Where does The Haunting fall on this list? Because The Haunting is a tremendous, tremendous film. It's better than Near Dark. The question is, is it better than The Innkeepers?
Yeah. I mean, in a lot of ways, the end keepers is a riff on the haunting. Um, what about, um, what about the omen?
Is The Haunting better or worse than The Omen? Um...
The haunting is better. The haunting is better than the omen. Okay.
Okay. I mean like the omen is fantastic. Don't get me wrong. Um, but the omen, um, is much more of a popcorn kind of movie.
And the haunting is operating just, it's just a different level. It just is. Okay. Yes.
Science is going to tell us. The Haunting is the better film. Alright, last movie. Let's talk about it.
It was bound to happen sooner or later. Somebody recommended this on the Facebook group. Who am I to say no? Amityville to the possession. Now Amityville.
The Amityville Horror, we have not talked about yet. It is a pretty straightforward ghost story. On the other hand, you have Amityville 2, which originally...
This is how I understand it. So please, please, please, if I have some details wrong, feel free to correct me, but don't take what I say here as the gospel because I feel like I read this, but I did not.
Look, we're doing science based on the movies. The biography of the film does not matter. But if memory serves, this was supposed to be the DeFeo story, but...
The actual DeFeo family was like, the fuck you are. And so, as a result, it became this fictional family.
which is probably for the best. And this is another case where it's kind of two movies that collide. The first is a movie about a family that moves into the house on Ocean Avenue.
the Amityville Horror House. And in the process of that, um, that, um,
You know, weird things start to happen. And in particular, the oldest son seems to be a target of the evil inside the house. And...
It's tough to know how to talk about this because this movie truly is a strange and wonderful thing. So... this family led by, by the way, uh, the cinemas, one of cinema's greatest dirtbags, Burt Young, AKA cousin Pauly from the Rocky movies.
um he is the dad in this family you've got a young diane franklin as the younger sister uh you might remember her or i remember her best as the french girl in better off dead
um or you might remember her from this movie as the sister what is getting it on with her brother at a certain point um yeah and so they move into this house um
you know, it's, it's as thing, as he gets possessed, there's a whole possession scene. That's very dramatic with his.
You know, stomach sucking in and his ribs protruding and all of that. And and then.
You know, that's when things get fucked up in this movie. Oh, and by the way, the vibe of the house is terrible and everybody's arguing all the time and yelling at each other. And at one point, the son pulls a gun on Burt Young.
And it's just, it's fucking crazy. It's crazy. But the moment that the movie turns is, as I was alluding to.
The moment that the main character, this possessed kid, when he seduces...
and has sex with his younger sister. And you're like, is this a dream sequence? It is not.
That is what happens. And it clearly happens on the regular because at one point she goes to confession to say like, Hey, I don't know that I should be doing something, you know, real grown up.
She leaves out the fact that it's with her brother, but, you know, she is clearly feeling some guilt about it. And he kind of negs her at a certain point when they're having a party. And she's like, you know.
Why won't you look at me? Why won't you talk to me after what we've been doing? And he's just like, whatever, babe. It's just like, the movie is supposed to be about this haunted house.
and and that's how it starts like there's a plumber that comes to look at something in the crawl space is filled with flies and you're like oh yeah amityville stuff and then about you know
40 minutes into the movie when you're having, you know, the, the incest breakfast, you're like, what the fuck is going on in this film? Um, and then it goes from incest to all out murder.
Where, again, I thought it was a dream sequence. I've seen this movie, I don't know, four or five times. And every time I'm like, that's not how this movie goes, right? Because he just goes around and kills...
every member of the family, this kid does. Um,
Including younger brothers and sisters, including Diane Franklin, including his parents. He just hunts them through the house and murders them. Is taken to jail. And then finally the priests kind of roll in and are like...
we should probably do an exorcism, right? Yeah, let's do an exorcism. And so that's kind of what the end of the movie is.
Uh, FYI, Andrew Prine, one of the exorcists, um, kind of, he shows up towards the end of the movie, but it's a real, like come into me ending. So the movie ends in a way that is both.
unexpected, unnecessary, and also unsatisfying?
But I don't know how you end this movie because you've just upped the ante over and over and over and over again until you've reached this fever pitch.
And it's just crazy. Amityville two is fucking crazy. Um, okay. Let's put it on a list. Shall we?
And, and wrap this thing up. Um, okay. What, where does Amityville to? It is definitely better.
Then we are still here like, like there is something salacious and sleazy about Amityville too. That makes it difficult to rank because.
it's broken. The story doesn't work. The mashup of genres doesn't work. The tone doesn't work, but it's shocking. And there's imagery that you will never see anywhere else.
It's, I mean, I think X-Cross is a better movie. I don't think it comes above the X-Cross line.
Is it better than we are still here? Yes. It's, it is more broken narratively, but it's also more outrageous and more memorable.
It's probably better than Sweet Home. I don't think it's as good as X-Cross.
So it's somewhere in this neighborhood. It is somewhere in this neighborhood. Is it better or worse than house?
house is really fun. It's also totally a mess. It's a little, okay. Okay. Here's, here's where it goes. Here's where it goes. And here's why here's the science.
House is probably as narratively broken, but it's more good-natured fun and it's a more crowd-pleasing film. Amityville 2 is undeniably nastier.
but it's it has all the plot problems it has all the tone problems and it's off-putting and it's triggering and it doesn't handle incest with any kind of delicacy and yet
It is better than sweet home on account of the fact that it is so memorable that there, that it does go there in a way like sweet home.
feels very, uh, antiseptic, you know, which in, in a way is what I'm praising house for, but house has a, like a real spirit to it of.
silliness and not that swinging home doesn't but it's house is more successful in that end amityville 2 is of this stripe but it's sort of the You know, like it is the meaner version of Sweet Home, which I think makes it a better horror film, but it doesn't have as many highs as House.
So I think that's where we land. So here we are, uh, your new number one, the haunting, the best horror movie of all time. And I got to tell you guys,
It might be a while before this gets knocked off. I mean, we'll, we'll gather some, uh, recommendations from, you know, chat and Facebook and all that stuff, but hauntings a real good fucking movie. Um,
And then way down at the bottom, Unknown Visitor hanging on to the bottom spot. But Lost Voyage in the conversation, which is something. So there you have it. There's our top 20.
As soon as we have another 10 movies to do, we'll be right back here to do this all again. Hey, look, thanks for hanging out. Thanks for being part of this. Thanks for taking part in chat.
Uh, thanks for recommended movies on Facebook. We'll do some more of that. I'll do another call, uh, very soon. Um, and, and, you know, thanks for hanging out. Thanks for supporting this. And especially if you're watching this video on Patreon.
Thank you so much for supporting Legion podcasts and, and by a trickle down effect this show in particular. So that'll do it for now.
Uh, I'll see you soon. Uh, please check out all the stuff coming up. A new episode of the dark parade. Um, I'm going to be doing a bunch of, uh, T put stuff pretty soon.
as well as, uh, more dark parade stuff, as well as found footage full and ranking of horrors and all that stuff. So, uh, you know, stay tuned. We're, we're in the, in the real swing of things. So, uh, thanks again for, for watching and, uh, and we'll talk to you later.
Bye.