Where's the Lemonade?

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Summary

Blended families bring lots of new stressors into a relationship. Anxiety is high and sometimes your attempts to help your family to blend just increases the anxiety for everyone. In this episode, Darren & Paige talk about causes of anxiety and how to deal with anxiety in your family.

Show Notes

 
Blended families bring lots of new stressors into a relationship. Anxiety is high and sometimes your attempts to help your family to blend just increases the anxiety for everyone. In this episode, Darren & Paige talk about causes of anxiety and how to deal with anxiety in your family.

Finding the cause - It is right in your face.
  • Establishing a new family structure
    • new parent styles
    • different methods of discipline
    • different expectations of how children should behave
  • Steep learning curve
  • Co-Parenting with your Ex. 
  • Children become pawns in the broken relationship. Watch out for this.
  • Someone else is in the picture when you are raising your new family.
How to lessen the anxiety
  • It’s about testing what works and what doesn’t work while making sure that children feel safe and secure in the process.
  • Sit down and establish ground rules before your blend the families. Hard to do because you have on rose-colored glasses.
  •  Adults need to work hard to make everyone feel equal in the house.
  • 6 ideas to lessen the anxiety
    • Figure out a co-parenting plan with your spouse early on.
    • When you start to feel overwhelmed, take it one hurdle at a time.
    • See your family -- including the exes -- as a team.
    • Invest in a chore chart
    • Remind yourself to celebrate even the smallest of victories.
    • Whatever you do, don't aim for perfection.
Time and acceptance of your new reality.
  •  If you keep hoping for something outside of your control will change it will continue to increase the anxiety.
  •  Known when to hold them, know when to fold them, know when to walk away, and know when to run.
  •  Change your expectations. 
  •  Get over the one-sided parenting. It is okay to be the one that does not put the kids in the middle.
  •  Pick what is worth the anxiety. Let other things go.
  •  Get rid of the feeling that you need to "Win".



Articles.
- http://www.essentialkids.com.au/development-advice/development/the-anxiety-of-the-blended-family-20130227-2f542
- https://www.huffpost.com/entry/6-ways-to-handle-stress-_n_5002607
- https://www.huffpost.com/entry/the-ugly-truth-about-blended-families_b_589363b6e4b0b4d609210569

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What is Where's the Lemonade??

They say when life gives you lemons you should make lemonade. Making lemonade is not always easy or possible. For us, we found ourselves single in our 40's with kids at home and starting life over again. Luckily we found each other, online no doubt. When we began blending families, schedules, traditions, and laundry, we discovered lots of lemons. Our podcast is a reflection on how we get through the hard times and enjoy the good times on our new journey together, all with ten kids in tow. Sometimes when life gives you lemons, you make lemon squares. Lemonade might come later.