MARK: Welcome to Happening in Boise, the only podcast in the Treasure Valley that won't charge you a twenty percent service fee just for existing. I'm Mark, and I'm currently wondering why I live in a place where the weather has the personality of a bipolar squirrel. It's Tuesday, May 26, 2026, and if you're listening to this while stuck on the Connector, just remember, at least you're not a beaver being parachuted into the wilderness. More on that bizarre local history later.

JOLEEN: And I'm Joleen, your ray of cynical sunshine. I'm upbeat because I've accepted that the Boise dream is actually just a very expensive hallucination involving a six hundred thousand dollar starter home and a thirty-minute wait for a mediocre taco. We've got a lot of bullshit to cover today, from journalists walking off the job to restaurants that are literally too cool for you to eat in. If you hate it here, you're in the right place. If you love it here, you're probably from California and you're the reason my rent is two grand.

MARK: Let's kick things off with the headlines, and boy, it's a fun one. The unionized journalists over at the Idaho Statesman decided they'd finally had enough of the corporate overlords at McClatchy. They walked off the job this morning. Apparently, they're tired of being paid in potato vouchers while the executives buy another yacht. It's ironic, really. They're protesting unfair work conditions while we're over here using every ounce of our sarcastic energy to tell you about it. I guess if the paper is thin on news tomorrow, you'll know why. They're out on the sidewalk holding signs instead of writing about the latest city council meeting that no one attended anyway.

JOLEEN: Good for them, honestly. Someone has to stand up to the machine, even if that machine is just a dying medium that most people use to line their birdcages. But hey, it's not just the writers leaving. A legendary local TV journalist is signing off after decades on the air today. I won't name names because I don't want to get sued for emotional distress, but let's just say the local news landscape is starting to look as empty as the downtown library on a Friday night. It's the end of an era, Mark. Pretty soon, it'll just be AI-generated anchors telling us how many hikers got lost in the foothills this week. Which, let's be real, would probably be more efficient.

MARK: Speaking of being lost, have you looked outside? Mother Nature decided to play a hilarious prank on us for Memorial Day weekend. While everyone was trying to grill their overpriced burgers, a massive storm decided to dump up to fifteen inches of snow in the mountains. In late May. It's like the universe looked at our summer plans and said, 'Fuck you specifically, Boise.' The city saw wind gusts that could knock a toddler over and temperatures that made me regret putting my sweaters in storage. It's that classic Idaho transition where we skip spring and go straight from 'winter' to 'still winter but with more wind'.

JOLEEN: I love that for us. There's nothing like a Memorial Day frost to really kill off those tomatoes you spent forty dollars on at the nursery. It's the ultimate reality check. You think you're ready for patio season? Think again, asshole. Put your parka back on and go sit in your garage. It's the only way to stay truly authentic to the Boise experience. And while we're on the topic of things that are cold and dead, let's talk about the crime report, because people apparently can't handle a long weekend without doing something stupid.

MARK: It was a rough one on the roads. We had a head-on collision between a sedan and a commercial vehicle that killed a man from Sandpoint. Then, a seventeen-year-old motorcyclist died in a crash at a recreation area on Memorial Day. It's the same old story every holiday. People drive like they've got a death wish and a blood-alcohol level higher than the price of a pint at a craft brewery. It's depressing as shit. We also have authorities in Caldwell searching for a missing fifteen-year-old girl who might be in danger. It's a reminder that beneath our 'city of trees' veneer, there's a lot of real-world garbage going on.

JOLEEN: And don't forget the latest in the Payette River stabbing case. More court filings and videos came out this week, shedding light on that absolute mess in Boise County. It's like a bad episode of a true-crime show that won't go away. You go out for a nice day on the river and end up in a legal battle because someone decided to bring a knife to a water fight. It makes you want to just stay inside, but then you'd have to look at your utility bill, which is its own kind of crime. Everything is a trap, Mark. Everything.

MARK: Let's pivot to something slightly less traumatic, but equally frustrating: the Boise School District. They're currently working on their ten-year facilities master plan. They've been holding these forums where they use analogies like a 'four-legged stool' to describe how they manage buildings and enrollment. One leg is the physical condition, one is the funding, one is the demographics, and the last is the educational framework. I'm just sitting here thinking, if one leg is missing, does the whole thing just fall on the kids' heads? Because that's what it feels like most days.

JOLEEN: It's classic corporate-speak to mask the fact that they're dealing with declining enrollment and a massive budget gap. They even asked students to weigh in, which is hilarious. What do the kids want? Probably better Wi-Fi and fewer classes that start at seven in the morning. But the district is basically saying, 'Hey, help us decide which buildings to stop fixing because we're broke.' It's an awkward time to plan, as one consultant put it. Yeah, no shit. It's always an awkward time to plan when you're realized the 'growth' everyone keeps talking about doesn't actually translate to more kids in public schools because families can't afford to live here.

MARK: Exactly. The people moving here are either retirees or tech bros who don't have kids yet. They're too busy standing in line for the newest rooftop bar. Which brings us to our restaurant review of the week. Have you tried to get into The Boise Post yet? It's the new spot on the fifteenth floor of the AC and Element Hotel downtown. It opened about two weeks ago, and it's already so full of itself that they're rejecting walk-ins left and right. The chef basically told the media, 'Sorry, we're too popular for you regular people.' It's the tallest rooftop spot in the city, so I guess they feel entitled to look down on us literally and figuratively.

JOLEEN: Oh, I love a restaurant that tells me I'm not worthy of their twenty-five dollar Wagyu burger. That's the 'Post Burger,' by the way. Twenty-five bucks for a double smash patty and some 'spiced' fries. For that price, those fries better be spiced with gold dust and the tears of a developer. They've also got cocktails with names like 'Huck Around and Find Out.' Wow, so edgy. It's a mix of tequila, mezcal, and huckleberry. Because nothing says 'I'm a local now' like putting huckleberry in every single thing you consume. I bet the view is great, but is it 'getting rejected at the elevator' great? Probably not.

MARK: I'll stick to a place that doesn't require a reservation three months in advance just to see the top of the Zions Bank building. But if you're looking for other new spots, Descanso just opened on the Greenbelt in Garden City. It's part of that Boardwalk development. Spritzes and wine on a patio. It's basically a watering hole for people who ride five thousand dollar electric bikes and pretend they're exercising. And then there's Cán Coctelería downtown, which is a 'refined speakeasy.' Because what Boise really needed was another place where you have to find a secret door to get an eighteen dollar drink in the dark.

JOLEEN: I prefer the dark. It hides the disappointment in my eyes when I see the bill. But hey, if you want something real, Tango's Empanadas moved three blocks south on Orchard. They've been around for twenty years, and the owner says the move was 'bittersweet.' That's code for 'the rent went up and I'm lucky I found a spot that wasn't a vacant lot.' At least we still have empanadas. If those leave, I'm officially moving to Nampa. Oh wait, Solovey Kitchen is opening a brick-and-mortar in Nampa soon. The smoked salmon guy from TikTok. Even Nampa is getting too fancy for me now.

MARK: Let's talk sports, because the local scene is actually more interesting than the food right now. Athletic Club Boise, our new soccer darling, finally dropped a home game. They lost three-one to Fort Wayne FC on Saturday. The coach called it their 'poorest defensive showing.' Which is a polite way of saying they looked like they'd spent the afternoon at a brewery before kickoff. They out-shot the other team thirty to seven but only put six on target. It's like watching a stormtrooper try to hit a target. Lots of noise, zero results. It snapped their six-game unbeaten streak, so the honeymoon period is officially over.

JOLEEN: Typical Boise. We get a little bit of success and then we immediately shit the bed. But hey, the Boise Hawks are back at Memorial Stadium. They've got a huge homestand going on right now against the Modesto Roadsters. If you're looking for cheap entertainment, tonight is a Tuesday, which usually means five dollar seats and hot dogs. And get this, this Saturday, May 30, they're rebranding as the 'Boise Battle Beavers' for Outdoor Night. It's a tribute to that time in 1948 when Idaho Fish and Game literally parachuted beavers into the wilderness to relocate them. I'm not making this up. Our heritage is literally 'dropping rodents from planes'.

MARK: It's the most Idaho thing I've ever heard. I hope the jerseys have parachuting beavers on them. I might actually buy one just for the sheer absurdity of it. It's certainly better than the usual minor league baseball promotions. Plus, they've got fireworks on Friday night. There's nothing like a bunch of loud explosions to distract you from the fact that we're playing in the Pioneer League, which is basically the 'Is this even professional?' tier of baseball. But hey, it's summer. Or it's supposed to be.

JOLEEN: Speaking of summer traditions, the 44th annual Boise Greek Food Festival is happening this Friday and Saturday at the Greek Orthodox Church on Bannock. This is the event where people who usually wouldn't touch a vegetable will stand in line for an hour to get a gyro that's mostly onions and tzatziki. It's absolute chaos. You've got live dancing, people yelling 'Opa!' every five seconds, and enough baklava to send the entire city into a diabetic coma. It's great, but good luck finding parking anywhere within three miles of downtown.

MARK: The food is worth the struggle, though. I'd commit a minor felony for some good spanakopita. They've got souvlaki, falafel, dolmathes... it's a legitimate feast. And the best part is that it supports local charities like the Boise Food Bank. So you can feel slightly better about yourself as you consume three thousand calories in one sitting. Just make sure you bring a coat, because the weather forecast is about as reliable as a used car salesman. Let's get into the specifics so you know exactly how much to suffer this week.

JOLEEN: Alright, here's your 'What the Fuck is Happening' weather guide for the next week. Today, Tuesday, it's actually decent. High of eighty-four, low of fifty-one. But don't get comfortable, you naive idiot. Tomorrow, Wednesday, May 27, the temperature is going to drop like a rock into a canyon. High of fifty-nine with patchy rain. That's a twenty-five degree swing in twenty-four hours. Idaho, man. It'll keep you on your toes, or just give you a permanent cold.

MARK: Thursday isn't much better. We bounce back to seventy-seven but with a low of forty-six. Friday, the first day of the Greek Fest, it's sixty-six and cloudy. Perfect weather for eating hot lamb on a sidewalk. Saturday, May 30, looks like more light rain with a high of sixty-two. If you're going to that 'Outdoor Night' at the Hawks game, you might want to bring a poncho and some thermal underwear. Sunday is sixty-eight and sunny. Then we're back to the high sixties and low seventies for Monday and Tuesday. It's basically a week of 'mildly annoying'.

JOLEEN: It's perfect for construction, though! Which we have plenty of. If you've tried to drive through Meridian lately, you know that apartments are the new 'tipping point' for residents. People are losing their minds over new developments near Eagle Road. They're worried about traffic and infrastructure, as if we haven't already ruined those things years ago. It's too late, guys. The apartments are coming. You can either live in one or complain about the people who do while you sit in your idling SUV on Fairview.

MARK: And the real estate market is doing this weird thing called 'normalization.' Median home prices are sitting around four hundred and ninety thousand dollars, which is 'stable' according to the experts. In what world is half a million dollars for a house with a shared wall 'normal'? Appreciation is only at one percent, but inventory is finally rising. There are over two thousand active listings in Ada County. So, buyers finally have some choices, assuming they have a six-figure salary and a lack of financial common sense. The interest rates are still hovering around six and a half percent, and some economists think they might actually go up by the end of the year. So that's fun.

JOLEEN: It's a great time to be a bank and a terrible time to be a human being. Boise was ranked the number four economy in the country recently, which sounds impressive until you realize that just means it's a great place for corporations to make money while the locals struggle to buy groceries. We're an 'emerging metro,' Mark. That's fancy talk for 'we have a Target and a Whole Foods now, so pay us more rent.' It's the circle of life in the Treasure Valley. You move here for the outdoors, and then you spend all your time working to pay for the house you only sleep in.

MARK: At least we have the 'Spirit of Boise' balloon classic to look forward to later this year. Oh wait, that's months away. Right now, we just have the 'Spirit of Boise' road construction and the occasional swarm of Mormon crickets in the outlying counties. It's a beautiful life. If you've enjoyed our cynical take on the news, do us a favor and like, subscribe, and leave a comment. Tell us how much you hate the weather or which rooftop bar rejected you this weekend. We want to hear it all.

JOLEEN: Yeah, and if you have a tip or just want to tell us we're assholes, you can email us at boise@thehappeningnetwork.com. We might even read your email on the air if it's funny enough. Just don't ask us for real estate advice because our advice is 'don't.' Also, stay away from the river stabbings. That seems like a solid life choice for the upcoming week. And if you're a beaver, please, for the love of god, watch out for parachutes.

MARK: That's it for Happening in Boise. We'll be back next time to tell you about the next big thing that's going to make our traffic worse and our rent higher. Until then, stay sarcastic, stay cynical, and try not to get hit by a commercial vehicle while you're daydreaming about a vacation to literally anywhere else. Have a mediocre week, Boise. You've earned it.