1 00:00:00,010 --> 00:00:01,929 Welcome to the space versus this podcast. 2 00:00:01,989 --> 00:00:02,950 I'm your host, Dr. 3 00:00:02,950 --> 00:00:03,790 Dominique Pritchett. 4 00:00:03,970 --> 00:00:07,809 And Today I am joined by Lindsay vert, Nour. 5 00:00:07,900 --> 00:00:08,859 Hello, Lindsay. 6 00:00:09,609 --> 00:00:10,779 Hey, Hey. 7 00:00:11,259 --> 00:00:12,820 Thank you so much for being here. 8 00:00:13,750 --> 00:00:15,939 I'm excited to chat with you. 9 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:17,649 I know it's going to be some good. 10 00:00:17,649 --> 00:00:18,550 You see combo. 11 00:00:18,910 --> 00:00:20,379 I am as well. 12 00:00:21,039 --> 00:00:22,390 Let me introduce Lindsay. 13 00:00:22,929 --> 00:00:28,149 After fully recovering from a 2007 fatal car wreck that left 14 00:00:28,149 --> 00:00:30,370 Lindsey brain dead and paralyzed. 15 00:00:30,579 --> 00:00:35,409 She began serving high achieving leaders as an award winning 16 00:00:35,439 --> 00:00:39,189 mindset, expert, transformational speaker, and 17 00:00:39,189 --> 00:00:40,539 best-selling author. 18 00:00:41,049 --> 00:00:43,780 She teaches leaders, how to master their mindset and 19 00:00:43,780 --> 00:00:47,109 increase their clarity, confidence, and connections. 20 00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:51,130 Our unique methods guide her clients in a way that allows 21 00:00:51,130 --> 00:00:54,820 them to maximize their impact by fully walking in their God, 22 00:00:54,820 --> 00:00:58,689 given purpose while increasing their self-care self-worth. 23 00:00:58,840 --> 00:00:59,950 And self-discipline. 24 00:01:00,579 --> 00:01:04,900 She empowers them to create a first class life for the 25 00:01:04,930 --> 00:01:07,569 purpose, fulfillment and happiness. 26 00:01:07,659 --> 00:01:08,920 Welcome again. 27 00:01:09,609 --> 00:01:10,060 Thank you. 28 00:01:10,750 --> 00:01:12,159 I'm like, oh, what's she talking about? 29 00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:12,939 That's you? 30 00:01:12,969 --> 00:01:13,750 That's all you. 31 00:01:14,620 --> 00:01:15,700 That is all you. 32 00:01:15,700 --> 00:01:17,950 I got goosebumps just hearing that. 33 00:01:17,980 --> 00:01:22,459 I can't wait to experience your story through your mouth and 34 00:01:22,459 --> 00:01:24,170 your lens and what we'll get to that. 35 00:01:24,170 --> 00:01:25,129 Cause I'm so excited. 36 00:01:25,159 --> 00:01:25,909 We'll get to that. 37 00:01:26,569 --> 00:01:27,709 Before we dive in. 38 00:01:27,859 --> 00:01:32,299 I am curious when you hear the three words space for sisters, 39 00:01:32,420 --> 00:01:33,379 what does that mean to you? 40 00:01:35,459 --> 00:01:38,790 A space where black women can come and be vulnerable. 41 00:01:38,939 --> 00:01:42,030 They can transparently be themselves without feeling like 42 00:01:42,090 --> 00:01:46,530 they have to put on or turn on, um, for everybody else in the 43 00:01:46,530 --> 00:01:47,040 room. 44 00:01:47,189 --> 00:01:50,640 So a place where we can just come let our guard down. 45 00:01:51,569 --> 00:01:54,989 The ourselves be genuine and feel like we're not going to be 46 00:01:54,989 --> 00:01:59,370 judged because of the color of our skin and just enjoy the 47 00:01:59,370 --> 00:02:02,040 support and encouragement with other black women. 48 00:02:03,810 --> 00:02:09,000 I love the notion of being put on because it's not easy for 49 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:12,990 many people to be comfortable walking in their authenticity 50 00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:15,629 because we know as black women we're scrutinized. 51 00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:20,129 And so to not just beat on that is such a level of vulnerability 52 00:02:20,129 --> 00:02:20,789 and freedom. 53 00:02:22,830 --> 00:02:25,199 And it's exhausting turning on all the time. 54 00:02:26,069 --> 00:02:27,060 Absolutely. 55 00:02:28,050 --> 00:02:30,930 So I want to dive right in to your story. 56 00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:36,210 Can you give us an understanding of what that experience was like 57 00:02:36,210 --> 00:02:36,840 for you? 58 00:02:36,870 --> 00:02:45,419 The recovery in 2007, So it was quite the emotional recovery. 59 00:02:45,719 --> 00:02:48,840 Uh, everybody was shocked at my physical recovery, but they 60 00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:51,960 don't prepare you for the emotional part of it. 61 00:02:52,289 --> 00:02:55,050 And so to give you a little backstory, I'm going to share a 62 00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:57,509 little bit more about my story and what those details look 63 00:02:57,509 --> 00:02:57,870 like. 64 00:02:58,229 --> 00:03:03,210 And may of 2007, I found myself completely waking up in complete 65 00:03:03,210 --> 00:03:03,810 darkness. 66 00:03:04,139 --> 00:03:05,550 I had no clue where I was. 67 00:03:05,580 --> 00:03:07,110 I went to move, I couldn't move. 68 00:03:07,110 --> 00:03:08,819 I went to speak, can speak. 69 00:03:08,819 --> 00:03:11,819 I couldn't see anything except the Moonlight shining through an 70 00:03:11,909 --> 00:03:13,169 unfamiliar window. 71 00:03:13,500 --> 00:03:17,430 And so for me, I obviously watched too much TV because the 72 00:03:17,430 --> 00:03:21,240 only logical explanation I could come up with is that some psycho 73 00:03:21,330 --> 00:03:24,300 has tied me up and he's waiting for me to wake up in his 74 00:03:24,300 --> 00:03:25,889 basement so he can torture me. 75 00:03:26,129 --> 00:03:26,789 Because. 76 00:03:27,659 --> 00:03:28,889 What else could there be? 77 00:03:28,949 --> 00:03:30,360 And so I start to panic, like. 78 00:03:32,729 --> 00:03:35,909 And I eventually panicked so much that I exhausted myself out 79 00:03:35,909 --> 00:03:37,319 to the point where I passed out. 80 00:03:38,159 --> 00:03:40,710 And the next time I woke up, I thought it was a nightmare. 81 00:03:41,699 --> 00:03:45,180 And I slowly realized I still can see still can speak move. 82 00:03:45,180 --> 00:03:48,629 See, the only thing that I changed was now the sunlight was 83 00:03:48,629 --> 00:03:51,569 shining through that same window that I knew wasn't mine. 84 00:03:52,259 --> 00:03:55,979 And before I could panic again, I heard voices and a lady walks 85 00:03:55,979 --> 00:03:58,620 up to me and starts asking me questions and I'm thinking I'm 86 00:03:58,620 --> 00:03:59,189 answering her. 87 00:03:59,189 --> 00:04:01,740 But in reality, the only noise coming out of my mouth. 88 00:04:03,240 --> 00:04:08,280 Uh, because there was a tube going down my throat, keeping me 89 00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:09,240 alive. 90 00:04:10,110 --> 00:04:13,409 Turns out this lady as my nurse and she proceeds to tell me then 91 00:04:13,409 --> 00:04:17,819 an entire week earlier on May 13th, 2007, the car was driving. 92 00:04:17,819 --> 00:04:21,149 Went off the opposite side of the highway, slipped multiple 93 00:04:21,149 --> 00:04:23,519 times before landing up side. 94 00:04:23,699 --> 00:04:28,769 Um, my head was pinned between the ground and the entire weight 95 00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:29,160 of the car. 96 00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:30,029 On top of me. 97 00:04:30,300 --> 00:04:33,089 I was immediately pronounced brain dead on the scene. 98 00:04:33,750 --> 00:04:37,589 But a guy, because despite that they put me on a helicopter and 99 00:04:37,589 --> 00:04:40,589 lifeline me to a trauma hospital, where again, by a new 100 00:04:40,589 --> 00:04:43,379 set of medical professionals as pronounced brain dead on 101 00:04:43,379 --> 00:04:43,980 arrival. 102 00:04:44,879 --> 00:04:45,600 But God. 103 00:04:46,230 --> 00:04:49,199 Because yet again, they proceeded to do emergency 104 00:04:49,199 --> 00:04:49,800 surgeries. 105 00:04:49,949 --> 00:04:53,339 Anyway, the only reason they placed me on life support was 106 00:04:53,339 --> 00:04:55,800 until my family could be contacted, but they didn't even 107 00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:57,600 expect my body to make it through that. 108 00:04:58,079 --> 00:04:58,649 So. 109 00:04:59,310 --> 00:05:00,000 One minute. 110 00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:03,209 I'm driving home from visiting my mother on mother's day, 111 00:05:03,209 --> 00:05:04,680 minding my own business. 112 00:05:04,769 --> 00:05:08,579 And the next minute I am waking up to being told that not only 113 00:05:08,579 --> 00:05:11,879 had I been brain dead for the past week, but amongst the long 114 00:05:11,879 --> 00:05:14,819 list of injuries, I was also paralyzed. 115 00:05:16,500 --> 00:05:20,639 Talk about a complete slip on my life. 116 00:05:21,209 --> 00:05:24,000 And it was in that moment that I realized that I could either be 117 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:27,930 a victim to my circumstances, which is what a lot of us do. 118 00:05:28,230 --> 00:05:31,319 Or I could be a Victor over my obstacles. 119 00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:36,329 And I chose the ladder and that entire recovery process became 120 00:05:36,329 --> 00:05:38,970 the foundation of everything I do as a coach and speaker. 121 00:05:41,850 --> 00:05:42,389 Ooh. 122 00:05:45,959 --> 00:05:46,800 Right out the gate. 123 00:05:47,220 --> 00:05:49,319 And that is okay, because that's your truth. 124 00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:52,709 You can either be a victim or of the door. 125 00:05:54,089 --> 00:05:55,769 What helped you decide that? 126 00:05:57,389 --> 00:05:59,670 It was literally in the moment. 127 00:05:59,850 --> 00:06:03,089 So it was my mindset and I realized it was my mindset that 128 00:06:03,089 --> 00:06:04,889 was really carrying me through. 129 00:06:05,220 --> 00:06:06,600 All of the things. 130 00:06:06,990 --> 00:06:12,000 Um, because we have to realize that we are fully capable of 131 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:13,829 creating the life of our dreams. 132 00:06:13,829 --> 00:06:16,500 What I call a first-class life full of purpose, fulfillment, 133 00:06:16,500 --> 00:06:17,100 and happiness. 134 00:06:17,100 --> 00:06:20,939 But oftentimes we like to sit in victim mode and when we're stuck 135 00:06:20,939 --> 00:06:23,490 in victim mode, we give up our power for change. 136 00:06:23,819 --> 00:06:26,579 And so in my head, Um, I'm laying there. 137 00:06:26,639 --> 00:06:29,040 I'm thinking about all the things that this lady is telling 138 00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:32,790 me, and I'm like, This is not the life that I want to live. 139 00:06:33,689 --> 00:06:36,360 It doesn't matter if I threw myself the world's greatest pity 140 00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:39,600 party, I can't change what has already occurred. 141 00:06:40,019 --> 00:06:42,000 So how do I move? 142 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:45,689 So I can create the future that I actually want and desire to 143 00:06:45,689 --> 00:06:46,199 live. 144 00:06:46,620 --> 00:06:48,329 And that was the first vein right there. 145 00:06:49,290 --> 00:06:50,430 I had to be faithful. 146 00:06:51,060 --> 00:06:52,920 That it was all gonna work out for me. 147 00:06:53,250 --> 00:06:56,730 Despite what it looked like right now with my physical eyes. 148 00:06:57,180 --> 00:07:00,720 And then I had to be intentional about what it was that I wanted. 149 00:07:00,899 --> 00:07:04,620 So I had to see the vision again, despite what it looked 150 00:07:04,620 --> 00:07:09,420 like with my logical clear eyes right now, because sometimes we 151 00:07:09,420 --> 00:07:10,079 get stuck. 152 00:07:10,889 --> 00:07:13,439 We get stuck in what we see in the right now. 153 00:07:13,439 --> 00:07:16,019 And so that's why we can't get past it because we aren't 154 00:07:16,019 --> 00:07:17,339 looking past it. 155 00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:21,600 Um, mindset. 156 00:07:22,350 --> 00:07:23,040 Your faith. 157 00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:24,689 And intentionality. 158 00:07:25,500 --> 00:07:28,949 When people hear something like the first-class life and, oh, 159 00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:32,579 y'all, by the way, today, we will be chatting about you being 160 00:07:32,579 --> 00:07:34,500 worthy of a first-class life. 161 00:07:34,529 --> 00:07:37,769 Just so you know, When people hear something like a first 162 00:07:37,769 --> 00:07:38,699 class life. 163 00:07:39,060 --> 00:07:41,970 I imagine folks automatically think financially. 164 00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:45,180 Hey, that ain't nothing wrong with that either. 165 00:07:45,180 --> 00:07:46,199 I want some of that too. 166 00:07:46,350 --> 00:07:46,740 Okay. 167 00:07:47,250 --> 00:07:52,230 But we know in order for us to affirm and declare a first 168 00:07:52,230 --> 00:07:54,480 class, life is starts internal. 169 00:07:54,689 --> 00:07:56,879 It starts in that deep root at work. 170 00:07:57,029 --> 00:08:00,899 And it's not always on the cuffs of a traumatic experience such 171 00:08:00,899 --> 00:08:06,000 as yours, but what better time than ever to say, I'm a Victor 172 00:08:06,180 --> 00:08:07,920 from here at this point, going forward. 173 00:08:09,180 --> 00:08:09,540 Yeah. 174 00:08:09,750 --> 00:08:10,110 Wow. 175 00:08:10,860 --> 00:08:13,439 Who was in your corner as you were going through this 176 00:08:13,439 --> 00:08:15,899 experience and even the recovery. 177 00:08:17,370 --> 00:08:20,189 Luckily, I have a praying mother, so I'm not sure 178 00:08:20,189 --> 00:08:23,040 everyone's spiritual beliefs, but for me specifically, I do 179 00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:23,879 believe in God. 180 00:08:23,879 --> 00:08:27,839 And once my mom was contacted and she got there, it was, oh, 181 00:08:27,839 --> 00:08:29,279 no, we not pulling no plugs. 182 00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:31,319 Yes, thank God for that. 183 00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:34,289 Because again, they had already been announced being brain dead. 184 00:08:34,289 --> 00:08:36,720 And that was the only reason they placed on life support 185 00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:38,519 until my family could be contacted. 186 00:08:38,519 --> 00:08:42,990 So she got on her prayer warrior mode and was calling all the 187 00:08:42,990 --> 00:08:45,690 people that she knew they were calling all the people that they 188 00:08:45,690 --> 00:08:45,990 knew. 189 00:08:46,350 --> 00:08:48,870 They were up sometimes throughout the middle of the 190 00:08:48,870 --> 00:08:50,039 night, just praying. 191 00:08:50,039 --> 00:08:54,330 She never left my side, my level of intensive care that I had, 192 00:08:54,389 --> 00:08:56,100 uh, no one was allowed to stay the night. 193 00:08:56,100 --> 00:08:58,620 So when I woke up in the middle of the night, my room was empty. 194 00:08:58,799 --> 00:09:01,379 But there were a few times where she convinced. 195 00:09:01,889 --> 00:09:03,539 The night nurse to like, please. 196 00:09:05,009 --> 00:09:06,720 That child convinced. 197 00:09:08,250 --> 00:09:12,149 But so she was doing all that. 198 00:09:12,179 --> 00:09:16,470 She could, my husband, who was my boyfriend at the time, he, 199 00:09:16,470 --> 00:09:19,980 you know, was trying to travel back and forth to visit me. 200 00:09:19,980 --> 00:09:25,500 And so I'm very grateful that I have a community of people and 201 00:09:25,529 --> 00:09:29,039 extended people because not everybody knew me specifically. 202 00:09:29,370 --> 00:09:32,429 Some people knew me through my mom or a new meet through who 203 00:09:32,460 --> 00:09:34,470 she had called and who they had called. 204 00:09:34,799 --> 00:09:36,389 And so I recognize. 205 00:09:36,690 --> 00:09:39,389 How blessed I was to have that support system. 206 00:09:40,049 --> 00:09:43,830 But as I kind of alluded to earlier, Guided what he could do 207 00:09:43,830 --> 00:09:45,090 in this spiritual sense. 208 00:09:45,629 --> 00:09:48,450 My medical team did what they could do in the scientific 209 00:09:48,450 --> 00:09:48,990 sense. 210 00:09:49,379 --> 00:09:52,200 My family and friends did what they could do in the supportive 211 00:09:52,230 --> 00:09:52,710 sense. 212 00:09:52,950 --> 00:09:54,870 But at some point the choice is mine. 213 00:09:55,169 --> 00:09:59,429 The Baton was passed to me and I had to make the intentional 214 00:09:59,610 --> 00:10:03,059 purposeful decision on what my life was going to look like from 215 00:10:03,059 --> 00:10:03,360 there. 216 00:10:03,419 --> 00:10:05,070 No matter what they said or did. 217 00:10:05,250 --> 00:10:05,460 Yeah. 218 00:10:05,909 --> 00:10:10,440 I love your acknowledgement of every one and even our higher 219 00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:13,289 power who had a part in, feeling us. 220 00:10:14,730 --> 00:10:15,600 As a therapist. 221 00:10:15,820 --> 00:10:19,269 I work with a lot of spiritual and religious folks who believe 222 00:10:19,269 --> 00:10:20,679 in God and. 223 00:10:21,549 --> 00:10:23,710 I was taught and many of them were taught. 224 00:10:23,740 --> 00:10:25,539 Just pray, just pray, just pray. 225 00:10:25,730 --> 00:10:29,509 Well, we know God is sitting in those doctors, hands, hearts, 226 00:10:29,539 --> 00:10:32,720 their brains, and everything else to do what they need to do 227 00:10:32,720 --> 00:10:34,250 to see us get up and. 228 00:10:34,740 --> 00:10:36,090 Go forward and thri. 229 00:10:36,340 --> 00:10:39,639 So that part of your story is a reminder that if there is 230 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:42,879 nothing wrong with a little bit of everything, to give you that 231 00:10:42,879 --> 00:10:48,490 jumpstart and to feel you back up, but ultimately you have a 232 00:10:48,490 --> 00:10:50,950 shared responsibility over your own life. 233 00:10:53,019 --> 00:10:56,110 You know what they say, faith without works is dead. 234 00:10:56,559 --> 00:10:56,740 Yep. 235 00:10:57,100 --> 00:11:00,490 So first Ty's life is actually an acronym and it stands for the 236 00:11:00,490 --> 00:11:03,340 different characteristics and skills that we want to embody 237 00:11:03,340 --> 00:11:04,750 into our lifestyle. 238 00:11:05,049 --> 00:11:07,690 To be able to create a first class life. 239 00:11:08,169 --> 00:11:09,460 The F stands for faithful. 240 00:11:09,519 --> 00:11:11,289 The, I stands for intentional. 241 00:11:11,980 --> 00:11:14,110 And we're going to jump to the a in class. 242 00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:17,200 Because that stands for action oriented. 243 00:11:17,409 --> 00:11:20,169 And sometimes we set our intentions, we make these vision 244 00:11:20,169 --> 00:11:22,480 boards and then we're like, oh, it doesn't work. 245 00:11:23,289 --> 00:11:25,539 Well, that's only one piece of it. 246 00:11:25,570 --> 00:11:27,190 One, did you make it correctly? 247 00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:29,679 Because that's a whole nother podcast in and. 248 00:11:30,759 --> 00:11:35,559 But two, you got to do the work afterwards. 249 00:11:35,919 --> 00:11:38,860 Like you had to get up and take some actions. 250 00:11:38,860 --> 00:11:41,289 It's not, oh, I'm going to sit on the couch and now 251 00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:43,750 everything's going to come to me because I made this cluttered 252 00:11:43,750 --> 00:11:46,750 vision board without purpose and intention does a whole bunch of 253 00:11:46,750 --> 00:11:47,470 pretty picture. 254 00:11:48,159 --> 00:11:48,879 No plan. 255 00:11:50,450 --> 00:11:54,110 Nowadays folks are kind of diluting the concept of 256 00:11:54,110 --> 00:11:55,279 manifestation. 257 00:11:55,610 --> 00:11:59,240 Um, people have, are starting to believe that manifestation does 258 00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:01,340 not require you to do the work. 259 00:12:01,730 --> 00:12:04,700 And just naturally as a spiritual person, as a 260 00:12:04,700 --> 00:12:08,299 therapist, as a human being, that work comes in so many 261 00:12:08,299 --> 00:12:09,110 forms. 262 00:12:09,889 --> 00:12:14,120 And specifically, I wonder how do people start practicing and 263 00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:16,850 mastering a first class mindset? 264 00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:21,200 Definitely thinking about what are you thinking? 265 00:12:21,980 --> 00:12:23,450 Because that's where it's going to start. 266 00:12:24,110 --> 00:12:26,509 You know, we have our subconscious beliefs, which I'm 267 00:12:26,509 --> 00:12:28,129 sure you are aware of that. 268 00:12:28,789 --> 00:12:29,149 Dr. 269 00:12:29,149 --> 00:12:29,720 Dominique. 270 00:12:30,289 --> 00:12:33,169 And our subconscious beliefs just below our conscious 271 00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:36,860 awareness, but they control about 95% of our behaviors. 272 00:12:37,039 --> 00:12:39,860 So we like to think that we're in control and we can't figure 273 00:12:39,889 --> 00:12:43,399 out I'm saying, I want this, but I keep ending up in the same 274 00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:44,000 cycle. 275 00:12:44,029 --> 00:12:48,139 A different day, different people, but same situation it's 276 00:12:48,139 --> 00:12:51,590 because those subconscious beliefs that we're ignoring and 277 00:12:51,590 --> 00:12:54,409 not acknowledging is what is controlling our behaviors. 278 00:12:54,679 --> 00:12:58,639 And so our thoughts influences our words, which subtly 279 00:12:58,639 --> 00:13:02,389 influences our actions, which shapes the reality that we live 280 00:13:02,389 --> 00:13:02,690 in. 281 00:13:02,899 --> 00:13:05,750 And so first we have to ask ourselves, what are we telling 282 00:13:05,750 --> 00:13:07,190 ourselves day in and day out? 283 00:13:07,730 --> 00:13:09,379 Because most of our thoughts are negative. 284 00:13:09,649 --> 00:13:10,429 Most of our thoughts. 285 00:13:10,460 --> 00:13:11,299 Over repetitive. 286 00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:15,409 And your brain's only job is to bring you all of the evidence to 287 00:13:15,409 --> 00:13:18,679 make those things true, whatever it is, you're thinking whether 288 00:13:18,679 --> 00:13:19,429 it's true or not. 289 00:13:19,850 --> 00:13:22,309 Because the brain doesn't know what's fake from what's real 290 00:13:22,309 --> 00:13:23,600 until we assign it. 291 00:13:23,899 --> 00:13:25,250 What's fake and what's real. 292 00:13:25,519 --> 00:13:28,700 So the more that we tell ourselves, I can't do it, or, 293 00:13:28,730 --> 00:13:30,710 you know, I don't deserve that promotion. 294 00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:32,210 Somebody else is better for it. 295 00:13:32,509 --> 00:13:35,179 Then our brain is going to keep giving us evidence for that. 296 00:13:35,389 --> 00:13:38,419 So we have to be mindful of the things that we're thinking. 297 00:13:39,139 --> 00:13:41,690 And then that's going to start to influence our words and our 298 00:13:41,690 --> 00:13:43,519 actions and shape the reality. 299 00:13:43,759 --> 00:13:45,200 The reality that we live in. 300 00:13:45,649 --> 00:13:47,120 To piggyback off that. 301 00:13:48,149 --> 00:13:49,379 The average. 302 00:13:50,159 --> 00:13:53,970 Adult has more 70,000 thoughts per day. 303 00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:55,769 Man. 304 00:13:55,830 --> 00:13:57,240 Imagine if. 305 00:13:58,620 --> 00:14:03,000 50% of them were unproductive, negative or serve no purpose 306 00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:04,860 towards who you say you want to be. 307 00:14:05,100 --> 00:14:06,779 And where you say you want to go. 308 00:14:07,259 --> 00:14:10,289 And what Lindsey is talking about and you guys can check 309 00:14:10,289 --> 00:14:12,690 previous episodes to explore this. 310 00:14:12,899 --> 00:14:14,820 Are those unproductive thoughts? 311 00:14:15,070 --> 00:14:16,539 I should have did this. 312 00:14:16,659 --> 00:14:18,279 Well, what if this happens? 313 00:14:18,549 --> 00:14:20,259 The worst case scenario. 314 00:14:20,769 --> 00:14:23,500 We don't know the future of the best we can do. 315 00:14:23,500 --> 00:14:27,669 Going back to this vision board is to identify where we want to 316 00:14:27,669 --> 00:14:28,029 go. 317 00:14:28,429 --> 00:14:32,389 Make the plan be so dang on intentional. 318 00:14:33,350 --> 00:14:34,639 That you mean second guessing? 319 00:14:35,299 --> 00:14:38,029 You know, then it's introduces the concept of imposter 320 00:14:38,029 --> 00:14:38,629 syndrome. 321 00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:41,789 Some folks are saying, first of all, black women assigned that 322 00:14:41,789 --> 00:14:44,700 to themselves way too fast and way too easy. 323 00:14:46,950 --> 00:14:51,450 We are more than qualified, but as Lindsay said, the narratives 324 00:14:51,450 --> 00:14:54,539 and the stories we tell ourselves, if we feed it, it's 325 00:14:54,539 --> 00:14:55,470 going to grow. 326 00:14:55,620 --> 00:14:57,330 It's going to build energy. 327 00:14:58,320 --> 00:15:01,950 You use thoughts, words, and actions in my world. 328 00:15:01,980 --> 00:15:05,970 I use thoughts, feelings, and actions or behaviors. 329 00:15:06,570 --> 00:15:09,210 When, when, when we start to feel like, Ooh, I got to do 330 00:15:09,210 --> 00:15:10,230 something with that. 331 00:15:10,409 --> 00:15:10,860 Okay. 332 00:15:11,909 --> 00:15:16,700 And lastly, the subconscious, thoughts and experiences are 333 00:15:16,700 --> 00:15:20,210 often what we're repressing, whether it be our traumas. 334 00:15:20,750 --> 00:15:21,710 Flaws. 335 00:15:22,399 --> 00:15:23,539 Bad habits. 336 00:15:23,889 --> 00:15:25,419 Negative experiences. 337 00:15:25,450 --> 00:15:28,629 We're suppressing that stuff, but if that's controlled like 90 338 00:15:28,659 --> 00:15:31,299 to 98% of our function, and like, we should do something 339 00:15:31,299 --> 00:15:31,960 about that. 340 00:15:33,340 --> 00:15:34,389 What are your thoughts on that? 341 00:15:35,169 --> 00:15:36,879 Absolutely. 342 00:15:37,750 --> 00:15:40,929 In first class life, there's a subset And the three pillars of 343 00:15:40,929 --> 00:15:44,019 self, which is self-care self-worth and self-discipline. 344 00:15:44,320 --> 00:15:47,200 And that's what I hope leaders should prioritize because those 345 00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:51,309 three things subconsciously impact every single thing that 346 00:15:51,309 --> 00:15:51,970 we do. 347 00:15:52,269 --> 00:15:55,029 And one of the things that I say about self care is that. 348 00:15:55,750 --> 00:15:57,669 Part of self care is saying no. 349 00:15:58,179 --> 00:16:00,909 It's establishing and maintaining boundaries with 350 00:16:00,909 --> 00:16:02,799 every single person in your life. 351 00:16:03,070 --> 00:16:08,200 It is hailing those negative experiences because whether you 352 00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:11,679 want them to or not, they are controlling your behaviors. 353 00:16:11,860 --> 00:16:14,799 So if you don't deal with them, they're going to deal with you. 354 00:16:14,919 --> 00:16:17,320 And they're going to show up in the most inconvenient. 355 00:16:17,379 --> 00:16:18,159 Of ways. 356 00:16:18,490 --> 00:16:22,840 So, if we are aware of our limiting beliefs and how they 357 00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:27,399 show up in our behaviors, then when they show up, we can say, 358 00:16:27,429 --> 00:16:28,090 all right. 359 00:16:28,570 --> 00:16:29,559 I see you. 360 00:16:29,620 --> 00:16:30,669 I see you fear. 361 00:16:30,879 --> 00:16:31,809 I see you. 362 00:16:32,049 --> 00:16:33,460 Uh, Judy. 363 00:16:33,549 --> 00:16:34,450 That's what we'll call her. 364 00:16:34,450 --> 00:16:34,929 Judy. 365 00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:36,220 Judy is Jana home. 366 00:16:36,269 --> 00:16:39,179 I see you, Judy, making me feel like I'm not good enough. 367 00:16:39,509 --> 00:16:43,889 Then we can course correct a lot faster before they behaviors 368 00:16:43,889 --> 00:16:47,159 take shape and we can go in a more productive direction. 369 00:16:48,029 --> 00:16:50,250 Yeah, those three pillars are pretty dope. 370 00:16:50,250 --> 00:16:53,279 Self-care self-worth and self-disciplined correct. 371 00:16:54,389 --> 00:16:54,659 Yes. 372 00:16:54,690 --> 00:16:54,990 Yes. 373 00:16:55,049 --> 00:16:55,500 Yes. 374 00:16:55,649 --> 00:17:00,000 And I'm pretty sure we could spend hours unpacking and how to 375 00:17:00,029 --> 00:17:04,380 redefine each of those pillars, because we know people's version 376 00:17:04,380 --> 00:17:08,099 of self care nails, hair spa that that's temporary. 377 00:17:08,549 --> 00:17:12,690 Self care should be the practice of ongoing, nurturing work of 378 00:17:12,690 --> 00:17:15,930 fulfilling work and all the nails and all the fun stuff. 379 00:17:16,009 --> 00:17:18,170 That's a by-product of what we really need to do. 380 00:17:18,380 --> 00:17:18,710 Okay. 381 00:17:19,220 --> 00:17:21,950 Oh, the self-worth, you know, people are like, but I don't 382 00:17:21,950 --> 00:17:23,210 know how to love myself. 383 00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:23,420 Okay. 384 00:17:23,420 --> 00:17:26,990 Well, let's really dissect self-love and self-worth what do 385 00:17:26,990 --> 00:17:28,730 you feel worthy of? 386 00:17:29,210 --> 00:17:30,259 You wanted it? 387 00:17:30,349 --> 00:17:33,259 One of my signature us speeches is called the birth right to 388 00:17:33,259 --> 00:17:33,829 belong. 389 00:17:35,150 --> 00:17:35,809 That's good. 390 00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:39,920 And we have got to believe we were brought into this world 391 00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:43,009 because we are so worthy of claiming space. 392 00:17:43,250 --> 00:17:47,359 There is no surprise why I named this space for sisters. 393 00:17:49,279 --> 00:17:49,670 Okay. 394 00:17:50,420 --> 00:17:53,990 And then that self-discipline, as you said, say a few more nos 395 00:17:53,990 --> 00:17:54,470 and mean them. 396 00:17:54,559 --> 00:17:55,789 No is a whole sentence. 397 00:17:55,849 --> 00:17:57,529 You don't even need to put a period at the end of y'all want 398 00:17:57,559 --> 00:17:57,769 to. 399 00:17:59,759 --> 00:18:03,029 What other forms of self-discipline have you noticed 400 00:18:03,150 --> 00:18:04,859 the individuals you work with? 401 00:18:05,759 --> 00:18:07,619 Need to practice more. 402 00:18:07,869 --> 00:18:09,160 Or Neato learn. 403 00:18:11,079 --> 00:18:12,039 Self discipline. 404 00:18:12,069 --> 00:18:14,890 All of these factors go right hand in hand. 405 00:18:14,890 --> 00:18:18,730 And, you know, you mentioned about our feelings and that's 406 00:18:18,730 --> 00:18:22,119 where that self-discipline come in, because I always said like, 407 00:18:22,180 --> 00:18:23,829 we got to get out of our feelings. 408 00:18:23,980 --> 00:18:26,500 You got to check yourself before you wreck yourself. 409 00:18:27,069 --> 00:18:29,019 And using myself as example. 410 00:18:29,890 --> 00:18:31,029 I am a night out. 411 00:18:31,269 --> 00:18:32,799 I have always been a night out. 412 00:18:32,890 --> 00:18:34,299 I don't like the mornings. 413 00:18:34,329 --> 00:18:37,180 It doesn't matter if I got a full eight hours of sleep. 414 00:18:37,210 --> 00:18:38,200 If I got to get up before. 415 00:18:38,289 --> 00:18:39,579 For a certain time. 416 00:18:40,180 --> 00:18:44,019 I am drowsy and I'm like, oh, it doesn't matter how much I love 417 00:18:44,019 --> 00:18:44,529 my life. 418 00:18:44,559 --> 00:18:46,029 I'm still not a morning person. 419 00:18:46,059 --> 00:18:46,480 Okay. 420 00:18:46,869 --> 00:18:51,220 And so whenever I was in therapy initially, cause I was 421 00:18:51,220 --> 00:18:54,160 transferred from intensive care and all of those different 422 00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:57,369 levels to a therapeutic hospital where I was still in the 423 00:18:57,369 --> 00:19:01,299 hospital, but I was in therapy every single day, seven days a 424 00:19:01,299 --> 00:19:01,750 week. 425 00:19:02,170 --> 00:19:05,650 From 8:00 AM to 5:00 PM, which meant I had to get up before 426 00:19:05,680 --> 00:19:09,579 eight to be at therapy at eight, just constantly doing therapies. 427 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:11,200 I didn't feel like it. 428 00:19:11,500 --> 00:19:12,640 I didn't want to get up. 429 00:19:13,059 --> 00:19:14,950 And to make matters worse. 430 00:19:15,130 --> 00:19:17,740 It was very painful therapy. 431 00:19:18,609 --> 00:19:20,319 Excruciatingly painful. 432 00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:24,309 I didn't feel like intentionally putting myself through that 433 00:19:24,309 --> 00:19:29,470 Kate, but because I was clear on what I wanted, it made it easier 434 00:19:29,470 --> 00:19:31,240 for me to push past the pain. 435 00:19:31,390 --> 00:19:35,410 It made it easier for me to push past my feelings in the moment 436 00:19:35,710 --> 00:19:39,190 and get up and take the action that I needed to take, to 437 00:19:39,190 --> 00:19:41,380 achieve the goal that I wanted to reach. 438 00:19:41,829 --> 00:19:43,029 But I didn't feel like it. 439 00:19:43,210 --> 00:19:47,019 That took self discipline because they didn't have to 440 00:19:47,049 --> 00:19:48,250 force me to get up. 441 00:19:48,430 --> 00:19:51,130 I had to make the choice whether I was going to get up or not. 442 00:19:51,339 --> 00:19:53,650 They're only going to wake me up so much before they say, all 443 00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:55,210 right, well, she's not getting up. 444 00:19:55,900 --> 00:19:58,000 Because there were people that were like that. 445 00:19:58,299 --> 00:19:59,170 On my floor. 446 00:19:59,500 --> 00:20:02,650 And they had far less significant injuries, but they 447 00:20:02,650 --> 00:20:05,500 were in there longer before they were just discharged because 448 00:20:05,500 --> 00:20:06,579 they weren't doing the work. 449 00:20:06,759 --> 00:20:08,470 And why is that mindset? 450 00:20:08,859 --> 00:20:10,029 They were complaining. 451 00:20:10,150 --> 00:20:11,410 They didn't want to do the work. 452 00:20:11,529 --> 00:20:13,240 It was just, oh, woe is me. 453 00:20:13,539 --> 00:20:16,900 And that's why they were left with that injury longer than 454 00:20:16,900 --> 00:20:17,650 they needed to be. 455 00:20:17,710 --> 00:20:18,009 Right. 456 00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:20,500 Um, thank you for that. 457 00:20:20,859 --> 00:20:22,299 When it comes to mindset. 458 00:20:22,329 --> 00:20:25,690 One of the things I recognize is I had to undo a lot of people's 459 00:20:25,690 --> 00:20:29,109 narratives and give people back their story. 460 00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:33,450 as a young black girl, I was told everything not to do, not 461 00:20:33,450 --> 00:20:37,630 to be, not to say not to do anything, but I was never given 462 00:20:37,630 --> 00:20:39,609 the accomplishment to build my own identity. 463 00:20:40,450 --> 00:20:43,269 And so other people's story is how I operated. 464 00:20:43,569 --> 00:20:46,180 And so those days where I didn't want to get out of bed while 465 00:20:46,180 --> 00:20:47,920 other people didn't get up and go to work. 466 00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:50,920 So that is a huge part to mindset. 467 00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:53,829 Is shifting a redefining this narratives you're telling 468 00:20:53,829 --> 00:20:54,460 yourself. 469 00:20:54,740 --> 00:20:58,490 Of why you can't do something, why you can't try something. 470 00:20:58,609 --> 00:21:00,079 Why you can't tell old girl? 471 00:21:00,109 --> 00:21:00,650 No. 472 00:21:00,950 --> 00:21:03,619 Well, you've never told a note before and she's operating in a 473 00:21:03,619 --> 00:21:04,970 virtue that you've allowed her to. 474 00:21:05,869 --> 00:21:06,740 Who's that Judy. 475 00:21:07,910 --> 00:21:11,059 Judy the imposter, so that is so huge. 476 00:21:12,410 --> 00:21:15,380 And speaking of your therapy, are you talking about physical 477 00:21:15,380 --> 00:21:17,960 therapy or psychological mental health therapy? 478 00:21:18,259 --> 00:21:22,309 I had all other therapies because the majority of my 479 00:21:22,309 --> 00:21:22,880 injuries. 480 00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:23,720 I was to my head. 481 00:21:23,750 --> 00:21:27,230 So I had cognitive therapy, occupational therapy, physical 482 00:21:27,230 --> 00:21:28,730 therapy was the majority. 483 00:21:28,789 --> 00:21:29,150 Well. 484 00:21:29,690 --> 00:21:31,940 The majority of the injuries was here, but then I had a 485 00:21:31,940 --> 00:21:34,579 significant chunk that was physical therapy because I was 486 00:21:34,579 --> 00:21:35,210 paralyzed. 487 00:21:35,210 --> 00:21:39,140 And so it was trying to see what I'd be ever to walk again. 488 00:21:39,140 --> 00:21:40,789 Like I had to go through shock therapy. 489 00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:42,589 That was the most painful. 490 00:21:42,980 --> 00:21:46,670 Because for anybody that's unfamiliar, they had to hook my 491 00:21:46,670 --> 00:21:48,079 body up to wires. 492 00:21:48,500 --> 00:21:51,500 And then, um, it was a therapeutic version of 493 00:21:51,500 --> 00:21:52,369 electrocution. 494 00:21:52,430 --> 00:21:53,089 Okay. 495 00:21:53,420 --> 00:21:56,720 They started low with the voltage and then they slowly 496 00:21:56,750 --> 00:21:57,710 increased it. 497 00:21:57,710 --> 00:22:01,430 And you know, at first it's like, Ooh, A little bit 498 00:22:01,430 --> 00:22:04,190 uncomfortable, but as they increased it, that was painful 499 00:22:04,190 --> 00:22:05,210 and get this. 500 00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:07,369 They didn't know if it would work. 501 00:22:08,269 --> 00:22:10,609 And so some people would be like, oh, you don't know if it 502 00:22:10,609 --> 00:22:12,410 was work well, then I'm not going to put myself through 503 00:22:12,410 --> 00:22:12,680 that. 504 00:22:13,009 --> 00:22:15,950 But again, when you're faithful that it's all gonna work out for 505 00:22:15,950 --> 00:22:19,369 you when you are clear on what you want, setting those 506 00:22:19,369 --> 00:22:21,769 intentions, because fuzzy intentions produce fancy 507 00:22:21,799 --> 00:22:22,400 results. 508 00:22:22,819 --> 00:22:26,480 Then when those moments come, when there's pain, there's 509 00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:27,349 obstacles. 510 00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:31,099 It makes it easier to keep going because you know what you're 511 00:22:31,099 --> 00:22:31,789 fighting for. 512 00:22:31,789 --> 00:22:35,450 So I was in every single therapy, probably imaginable. 513 00:22:35,779 --> 00:22:37,579 All day long, every single day. 514 00:22:39,619 --> 00:22:43,279 Everything Lindsey is talking about, comes with practice. 515 00:22:43,579 --> 00:22:45,289 And a declaration. 516 00:22:45,710 --> 00:22:48,980 Historically many people didn't make declarations for us to 517 00:22:48,980 --> 00:22:50,210 level up the aid. 518 00:22:50,269 --> 00:22:54,710 People may declarations and pass laws, all of this stuff to 519 00:22:54,710 --> 00:22:57,859 disenfranchise, but you have the authority. 520 00:22:58,039 --> 00:23:02,450 You have the first class opportunity to declare over your 521 00:23:02,450 --> 00:23:05,240 life that it can, and it will be different. 522 00:23:06,049 --> 00:23:09,319 As much as we want to look towards the vision plan and see 523 00:23:09,319 --> 00:23:13,490 the future, it is just as important to be so mindful and 524 00:23:13,549 --> 00:23:14,180 aware. 525 00:23:14,660 --> 00:23:18,650 I'm a throw another S on your pillars, that self awareness. 526 00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:20,299 Yeah. 527 00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:22,279 Be so aware. 528 00:23:22,579 --> 00:23:25,809 And what Lindsey is talking about, came in phases. 529 00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:28,990 And, um, I can imagine, and you can speak to it that. 530 00:23:29,529 --> 00:23:31,180 This is still a healing journey. 531 00:23:32,059 --> 00:23:35,269 But when we practice being in the here and now we rec we can 532 00:23:35,269 --> 00:23:37,430 except man, I'm not okay today. 533 00:23:37,609 --> 00:23:38,630 And it's okay. 534 00:23:38,630 --> 00:23:39,890 Not to be okay. 535 00:23:40,220 --> 00:23:42,799 Choosing to be a Victor over a victim. 536 00:23:42,799 --> 00:23:45,319 Doesn't mean every day is going to be roses, rainbows and 537 00:23:45,319 --> 00:23:45,950 puppies. 538 00:23:46,220 --> 00:23:50,089 It means that you're just making a commitment to keep trying and 539 00:23:50,089 --> 00:23:53,329 doing the very best because you're worthy and you deserve 540 00:23:53,329 --> 00:23:53,539 it. 541 00:23:56,210 --> 00:23:58,130 I have a story for that, if it's okay. 542 00:23:58,160 --> 00:23:58,730 Go for it. 543 00:23:59,690 --> 00:24:00,019 So. 544 00:24:00,650 --> 00:24:04,039 The self-awareness that is covered in the r instead of the 545 00:24:04,039 --> 00:24:06,019 S as I call it reflective. 546 00:24:06,380 --> 00:24:10,670 Which is being self aware of how you impact your environment and 547 00:24:10,819 --> 00:24:14,779 how your environment impacts you, including the people that 548 00:24:14,779 --> 00:24:16,069 may be in that environment. 549 00:24:16,339 --> 00:24:18,680 And this is why that's so important because. 550 00:24:19,130 --> 00:24:23,089 If we don't understand how the people around us, the 551 00:24:23,089 --> 00:24:26,420 environment around us is impacting us internally. 552 00:24:26,779 --> 00:24:30,859 Then we will subject ourselves to whatever internal conflict 553 00:24:30,859 --> 00:24:31,700 that is causing us. 554 00:24:31,700 --> 00:24:34,099 So when you're feeling a little anxious, when you're feeling a 555 00:24:34,099 --> 00:24:37,309 little agitated, but you don't quite know why it's probably 556 00:24:37,309 --> 00:24:39,680 your environment or the people in your environment. 557 00:24:40,069 --> 00:24:42,799 You know, and we have to be able to adjust for that. 558 00:24:42,799 --> 00:24:43,490 Like, okay. 559 00:24:43,700 --> 00:24:47,029 I know that every time I go to this building, I get anxious. 560 00:24:47,029 --> 00:24:47,990 I get Canik attacks. 561 00:24:48,019 --> 00:24:48,859 I get nervous. 562 00:24:49,009 --> 00:24:49,640 I get sweaty. 563 00:24:49,670 --> 00:24:50,450 I get clammy. 564 00:24:50,750 --> 00:24:53,630 So we need to remove ourselves from that environment. 565 00:24:53,779 --> 00:24:56,359 And if it's something like workers, something like that, 566 00:24:56,359 --> 00:24:59,450 that we aren't able to remove ourselves, then we need to 567 00:24:59,450 --> 00:25:01,130 figure out how can I make adjustments? 568 00:25:01,130 --> 00:25:03,289 So this environment is an impact. 569 00:25:03,319 --> 00:25:04,190 I mean, negatively. 570 00:25:04,579 --> 00:25:06,319 The story that I was going to share was. 571 00:25:06,980 --> 00:25:09,950 Once in the hospital, I have always hated taking pills. 572 00:25:10,099 --> 00:25:11,150 I will choke on them paying. 573 00:25:11,839 --> 00:25:13,880 Like to this day, if the pill is too big. 574 00:25:14,809 --> 00:25:16,490 I don't want it get somebody else to do it. 575 00:25:18,259 --> 00:25:21,859 And so one day my nurse she's coming in to give me my daily 576 00:25:21,859 --> 00:25:23,690 medications and I noticed. 577 00:25:24,470 --> 00:25:26,180 And it was a very subtle thing. 578 00:25:26,210 --> 00:25:29,539 Like if I wasn't self aware of my surroundings, I would have 579 00:25:29,569 --> 00:25:33,319 missed that one extra pill that was on the tray. 580 00:25:34,160 --> 00:25:36,170 And so I said, what's that. 581 00:25:36,769 --> 00:25:38,690 And she said, oh, that's for your depression. 582 00:25:39,230 --> 00:25:39,829 I said, what. 583 00:25:40,759 --> 00:25:42,410 She said, that's a pill for your depression. 584 00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:44,269 I said, I'm not depressed. 585 00:25:44,450 --> 00:25:46,130 She said, well, yesterday you were crying. 586 00:25:46,130 --> 00:25:48,259 And so I had the doctor write you some medicine for 587 00:25:48,259 --> 00:25:48,829 depression. 588 00:25:49,009 --> 00:25:53,119 Like he knows what that would have done to me down the line. 589 00:25:53,839 --> 00:25:55,880 You know, I don't know what medicine that was. 590 00:25:56,029 --> 00:26:00,680 So I had finally had the breakdown, like the whole time I 591 00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:01,519 had been in the hospital. 592 00:26:01,549 --> 00:26:02,450 I hadn't cried. 593 00:26:02,839 --> 00:26:06,049 And then one day, everything hit me all at once. 594 00:26:06,079 --> 00:26:10,549 And I was just, I woke up just full of tears and crying. 595 00:26:11,059 --> 00:26:12,710 And considering what I've been through. 596 00:26:12,710 --> 00:26:13,970 I think I deserve the right. 597 00:26:14,299 --> 00:26:14,779 Okay. 598 00:26:15,170 --> 00:26:18,829 And so she had walked in on that moment when all of the things 599 00:26:18,829 --> 00:26:23,150 hit me at once and I realized, you know, wow, I've been through 600 00:26:23,150 --> 00:26:26,420 a lot and I'm still here going through all the things and she 601 00:26:26,420 --> 00:26:29,930 took it upon herself to not talk to me at all, but to go to the 602 00:26:29,930 --> 00:26:32,089 doctor and say, oh, she needs this. 603 00:26:32,089 --> 00:26:32,930 She needs that. 604 00:26:33,289 --> 00:26:34,640 And he wrote the prescription. 605 00:26:34,910 --> 00:26:36,710 So I did not take the medicine. 606 00:26:36,740 --> 00:26:37,700 I said, I'm not taking that. 607 00:26:38,329 --> 00:26:39,529 I'm not taking that. 608 00:26:39,859 --> 00:26:42,680 And then when my doctor came in, later on in the day, I was like, 609 00:26:43,039 --> 00:26:43,369 oh yeah. 610 00:26:43,369 --> 00:26:43,789 So. 611 00:26:44,539 --> 00:26:46,519 Here's what happened with the nurse and I'm not taking that 612 00:26:46,519 --> 00:26:47,329 and he removed it. 613 00:26:47,359 --> 00:26:48,920 And after that, she kind of had a little. 614 00:26:49,730 --> 00:26:53,119 I will spank attitudes towards me because I trained her, but 615 00:26:53,119 --> 00:26:54,950 that's why we have to be self aware. 616 00:26:56,930 --> 00:27:00,859 That awareness comes with people, places and things. 617 00:27:01,349 --> 00:27:04,769 I am glad that you invited people to make the changes in 618 00:27:04,769 --> 00:27:05,369 the environments. 619 00:27:05,369 --> 00:27:09,789 They can't always escape or, totally pivot from Yani job 620 00:27:09,819 --> 00:27:10,150 jobs. 621 00:27:10,180 --> 00:27:12,130 Don't don't go doing the Beyonce song. 622 00:27:12,250 --> 00:27:13,630 Which is not whatever the song is. 623 00:27:13,630 --> 00:27:15,309 Don't go do that and stay living doc. 624 00:27:15,339 --> 00:27:15,579 Dr. 625 00:27:15,579 --> 00:27:16,269 Dominique said it. 626 00:27:17,289 --> 00:27:21,190 If you're at work and it, that is activating you, I identified 627 00:27:21,220 --> 00:27:24,400 the pieces that you can have responsibility for in those 628 00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:26,740 environments where you're activated, you don't feel 629 00:27:26,740 --> 00:27:30,849 psychologically safe and you can listen to a previous episode, 630 00:27:31,150 --> 00:27:31,960 about that. 631 00:27:32,319 --> 00:27:37,059 The psychological safety is, can you show up as yo y'all amazing. 632 00:27:37,089 --> 00:27:40,900 Melanated itself, make mistakes, get it wrong and not be 633 00:27:40,900 --> 00:27:45,079 ridiculed or, denigrated, because you did something humid 634 00:27:45,079 --> 00:27:47,299 that did not even put a debt in productivity. 635 00:27:47,630 --> 00:27:51,769 So, whatever it is, can you be psychologically safe at work? 636 00:27:52,009 --> 00:27:53,869 If you cannot answer yes. 637 00:27:53,869 --> 00:27:57,259 To that, either identify what are the infrastructures I need 638 00:27:57,259 --> 00:27:58,130 to put in place. 639 00:27:58,430 --> 00:28:01,279 What active allies I need to establish. 640 00:28:01,339 --> 00:28:04,009 Do I need to have certain conversations with supervisors, 641 00:28:04,039 --> 00:28:09,319 HR, take medical leave user FMLA, get in I get a coach like 642 00:28:09,319 --> 00:28:12,049 Lindsey, do what you need to do. 643 00:28:13,099 --> 00:28:13,609 Two. 644 00:28:14,190 --> 00:28:15,029 Take ownership. 645 00:28:15,990 --> 00:28:17,640 And walk in. 646 00:28:18,390 --> 00:28:20,220 Your first class life. 647 00:28:21,569 --> 00:28:22,230 So Lindsey. 648 00:28:22,740 --> 00:28:25,680 As we get ready to wrap up any final thoughts. 649 00:28:27,059 --> 00:28:27,480 Yes. 650 00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:27,779 Yes. 651 00:28:27,779 --> 00:28:28,200 Yes. 652 00:28:28,349 --> 00:28:31,380 So I want everyone to remember where your focus goes, your 653 00:28:31,410 --> 00:28:34,829 energy flows and that, that you focus on you attract more of 654 00:28:34,829 --> 00:28:35,819 into your life. 655 00:28:36,539 --> 00:28:40,200 So again, remember all of these things are not standalone 656 00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:40,529 things. 657 00:28:40,559 --> 00:28:42,900 They all are intertwined and work together. 658 00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:44,339 Being faithful. 659 00:28:44,430 --> 00:28:45,869 And it's all gonna work out for you. 660 00:28:46,500 --> 00:28:50,970 Despite what it looks like with our logical current vision. 661 00:28:51,299 --> 00:28:54,630 Remember, we have to look past that being intentional on what 662 00:28:54,630 --> 00:28:56,640 it is that we want for ourselves. 663 00:28:57,180 --> 00:28:59,640 But as the intentions produce fuzzy results. 664 00:28:59,849 --> 00:29:01,619 So you have to be crystal clear. 665 00:29:02,609 --> 00:29:07,019 And believing that you are worthy of all that you desire 666 00:29:07,259 --> 00:29:09,269 that you are more than good enough. 667 00:29:09,539 --> 00:29:12,750 Have always been good enough will always be good enough. 668 00:29:13,349 --> 00:29:16,319 For the things that you desire and knowing that you have to 669 00:29:16,319 --> 00:29:17,099 take action. 670 00:29:18,690 --> 00:29:22,410 Intentions and actions is where the magic happens. 671 00:29:23,069 --> 00:29:26,670 So remember where your focus goes, your energy flows and the 672 00:29:26,670 --> 00:29:28,500 things that you focus on, you attract more. 673 00:29:28,799 --> 00:29:29,819 Into your life. 674 00:29:30,210 --> 00:29:32,519 So be mindful of your thoughts. 675 00:29:33,359 --> 00:29:35,130 I trust and believe that. 676 00:29:35,609 --> 00:29:38,640 You are fully capable of achieving all that you desire 677 00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:41,220 and you are more powerful than the blacks in your life. 678 00:29:41,730 --> 00:29:44,519 Cause I'm of the firm belief that if I can literally come 679 00:29:44,519 --> 00:29:47,910 back from death bed, then there's no obstacle that you 680 00:29:47,910 --> 00:29:50,400 can't overcome to achieve your goals and dreams. 681 00:29:51,119 --> 00:29:52,049 ThAnk you says. 682 00:29:52,170 --> 00:29:56,250 So as we get ready to wrap up, where can our audience find you 683 00:29:56,490 --> 00:29:58,079 on the socials and in the world? 684 00:29:58,859 --> 00:29:59,670 Absolutely. 685 00:29:59,670 --> 00:30:02,460 So I am at Lindsey Verner. 686 00:30:03,269 --> 00:30:05,069 Across all platforms. 687 00:30:05,069 --> 00:30:07,890 So just pick your poison as long as you spell my name, right? 688 00:30:08,009 --> 00:30:12,900 L I N D S E Y V E R T N E R. 689 00:30:13,109 --> 00:30:16,019 You can find me on all of the social media platforms. 690 00:30:16,380 --> 00:30:20,009 And my website is live a first-class life.com. 691 00:30:20,519 --> 00:30:22,829 And I actually have a complimentary gift for your 692 00:30:22,829 --> 00:30:23,819 listeners. 693 00:30:24,390 --> 00:30:27,690 do she dare take action. 694 00:30:27,690 --> 00:30:31,109 download.com is where you can download your complimentary 695 00:30:31,109 --> 00:30:32,099 action plan guide. 696 00:30:32,339 --> 00:30:34,380 This is going to help you to break down your goals. 697 00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:38,460 And any effective way and in a way that you are more likely to 698 00:30:38,460 --> 00:30:41,549 follow through with taking action towards those goals. 699 00:30:41,549 --> 00:30:42,809 So that's at take action. 700 00:30:42,809 --> 00:30:43,890 download.com. 701 00:30:44,099 --> 00:30:46,559 Please do reach out to me, tag myself, tag Dr. 702 00:30:46,559 --> 00:30:49,890 Dominique, and your insights and ahas so we can join you in the 703 00:30:49,890 --> 00:30:50,730 conversation. 704 00:30:51,029 --> 00:30:51,569 Awesome. 705 00:30:51,599 --> 00:30:54,599 Thank you so much for listening please subscribe download and 706 00:30:54,599 --> 00:30:58,019 share got a topic you want us to cover don't hesitate to send us 707 00:30:58,019 --> 00:31:01,619 a message We welcome you to subscribe to our email list and 708 00:31:01,619 --> 00:31:05,430 connect with us across social media platforms to stay in the 709 00:31:05,430 --> 00:31:07,319 know about space for sistas.