1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,230 And the windows started shaking again and my heart 2 00:00:04,235 --> 00:00:07,920 started beating and the palpitation, and then it 3 00:00:07,920 --> 00:00:09,990 got harder and harder. 4 00:00:09,990 --> 00:00:12,390 And this time it became harder. 5 00:00:12,390 --> 00:00:15,090 I literally thought, my heart is gonna explode. 6 00:00:18,188 --> 00:00:20,378 Hi everyone, it's Rod, the channel creator. 7 00:00:21,128 --> 00:00:22,868 I just wanna let you know that today's episode 8 00:00:22,868 --> 00:00:25,688 contains a description of a sexual assault. 9 00:00:26,228 --> 00:00:28,688 Now, we don't go into very much detail at all, but if 10 00:00:28,688 --> 00:00:31,358 that kind of thing makes you feel uncomfortable, then you 11 00:00:31,358 --> 00:00:34,448 might just wanna skip all of minute 36 of this interview. 12 00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:36,098 And with that said, I really hope you 13 00:00:36,098 --> 00:00:37,118 enjoyed today's episode. 14 00:00:37,618 --> 00:00:40,948 My guest today is Ana Christina, who had a near 15 00:00:40,948 --> 00:00:43,678 death experience around 14 years ago, and she'll 16 00:00:43,678 --> 00:00:45,928 be sharing with us the details of that today. 17 00:00:46,178 --> 00:00:48,748 Ana, welcome and thank you so much for coming on the show. 18 00:00:49,723 --> 00:00:50,223 Hi Rod. 19 00:00:50,313 --> 00:00:51,703 Thank you for having me. 20 00:00:51,867 --> 00:00:52,167 All right. 21 00:00:52,167 --> 00:00:53,487 Well I'm looking forward to hearing your story 22 00:00:53,487 --> 00:00:55,497 cuz it's way different. 23 00:00:55,497 --> 00:00:57,297 I've had a lot of near death experiencers on the 24 00:00:57,297 --> 00:00:59,607 channel, but yours is way different than any other 25 00:00:59,607 --> 00:01:02,817 that I've had, so I'm not gonna give anything away. 26 00:01:03,227 --> 00:01:05,747 Would you give us a little bit of background on your life 27 00:01:05,747 --> 00:01:08,177 up to the day of your NDE and then we can go from there. 28 00:01:09,177 --> 00:01:13,867 Okay, so I'm born in Alexandria, Egypt. 29 00:01:14,642 --> 00:01:18,892 And we migrated with my family at the age of seven. 30 00:01:19,152 --> 00:01:23,372 I was born to a Coptic Christian family and we went 31 00:01:23,372 --> 00:01:27,722 to Canada because my younger brother Steve was born special 32 00:01:27,722 --> 00:01:32,492 needs, so we wanted to get him better medical care in Canada. 33 00:01:33,072 --> 00:01:36,672 At the age of about 10, my father decided to bring us 34 00:01:36,672 --> 00:01:40,392 back to Egypt for the few years so we can learn our 35 00:01:40,392 --> 00:01:42,072 culture and not forget it. 36 00:01:42,732 --> 00:01:47,382 When I was in school by the age of like 13, 14, 37 00:01:47,442 --> 00:01:49,872 I was having trouble with the Arabic language. 38 00:01:49,872 --> 00:01:55,332 So my father hired Sam, a tutor that helped me 39 00:01:55,362 --> 00:01:58,932 in geography and history, which were taught in Arabic. 40 00:01:58,992 --> 00:02:02,572 And and that was really helpful. 41 00:02:03,112 --> 00:02:04,012 It didn't take long. 42 00:02:04,592 --> 00:02:07,382 Actually I was only 14 and we fell in love. 43 00:02:07,932 --> 00:02:12,372 And then right after my father sent us back to Canada to 44 00:02:12,402 --> 00:02:17,502 continue life in Canada, so I stayed connected with Sam. 45 00:02:17,502 --> 00:02:21,672 We wrote letters, and every time I went to 46 00:02:21,677 --> 00:02:26,027 Egypt, we would meet up behind my parents back. 47 00:02:26,027 --> 00:02:28,637 In Egypt, you're not allowed to date until 48 00:02:28,637 --> 00:02:32,237 you're married, so it's very conservative family. 49 00:02:32,577 --> 00:02:36,247 And then by the age of 20 we wanted to get married. 50 00:02:36,247 --> 00:02:40,307 So Sam asked for my hand from my dad. 51 00:02:40,967 --> 00:02:47,157 Dad really liked Sam but Dad said over my dead body, and he 52 00:02:47,157 --> 00:02:52,287 was adamant about it because Sam was Muslim, and as I 53 00:02:52,287 --> 00:02:55,257 said, I was Coptic Christian. 54 00:02:55,377 --> 00:02:58,107 And we don't mix in Egypt. 55 00:02:58,112 --> 00:02:59,577 That's just a no-no. 56 00:03:00,077 --> 00:03:05,497 So we tried and I thought by living in Canada, dad 57 00:03:05,497 --> 00:03:08,437 would agree and no one would know us and all that stuff. 58 00:03:08,437 --> 00:03:09,367 And he said no. 59 00:03:09,372 --> 00:03:13,887 So I learned that I had to go back and just move on and 60 00:03:13,917 --> 00:03:15,687 forget about Sam, which I did. 61 00:03:16,647 --> 00:03:22,257 About five years later, I was in California and I met Paul, 62 00:03:23,257 --> 00:03:25,867 and Paul became my husband. 63 00:03:26,557 --> 00:03:31,247 And it didn't take long after the honeymoon to find out that 64 00:03:31,317 --> 00:03:34,057 Paul was a typical narcissist. 65 00:03:34,737 --> 00:03:38,307 Back then narcissist was not a part of my vocabulary. 66 00:03:38,307 --> 00:03:40,677 We didn't have internet, didn't know what was going 67 00:03:40,677 --> 00:03:44,457 on, did not know that it's a character disorder. 68 00:03:44,487 --> 00:03:46,877 And It doesn't, you don't change. 69 00:03:47,397 --> 00:03:50,757 But I struggled with Paul for about 13 years 70 00:03:50,757 --> 00:03:58,142 where, he was selfish beyond, you can find, the 71 00:03:58,147 --> 00:03:59,612 definition of a narcissist. 72 00:03:59,612 --> 00:04:03,362 And I think in Wikipedia, and I keep saying you'll find his 73 00:04:03,362 --> 00:04:06,482 name there in the beginning, that's how bad he was. 74 00:04:07,052 --> 00:04:10,492 But it was difficult to try to leave Paul. 75 00:04:10,492 --> 00:04:12,142 First I had two children. 76 00:04:12,142 --> 00:04:15,142 I had Colleen and I had Andrew, which was 77 00:04:15,142 --> 00:04:17,422 the best thing that happened in the marriage. 78 00:04:17,962 --> 00:04:23,452 But Paul threatened to, to kill me if I left him. 79 00:04:23,452 --> 00:04:26,702 He once threatened that if I hired a divorce lawyer, 80 00:04:26,702 --> 00:04:28,262 he would hire a sniper. 81 00:04:28,532 --> 00:04:32,192 Another time he threatened to slit my throat and write on 82 00:04:32,252 --> 00:04:34,292 the wall what a whore I was. 83 00:04:34,442 --> 00:04:37,622 So the kids would grow up knowing what their mom is. 84 00:04:37,832 --> 00:04:41,312 So he was that kind of obsessed with me. 85 00:04:42,092 --> 00:04:45,992 But after 13 years, I was lucky to find a good 86 00:04:45,992 --> 00:04:51,502 lawyer, got me a restraining order, and Paul was removed 87 00:04:51,502 --> 00:04:57,332 from the house and I just wanted to just taking 88 00:04:57,332 --> 00:04:59,192 care of my children. 89 00:04:59,462 --> 00:05:04,292 And then I receive a call out of nowhere from Sam. 90 00:05:04,692 --> 00:05:06,012 The guy I left. 91 00:05:06,312 --> 00:05:09,492 It was about 25 years we hadn't connected, 92 00:05:09,492 --> 00:05:10,272 and he found me. 93 00:05:11,092 --> 00:05:15,012 And at that time I had just become a born again Christian. 94 00:05:15,012 --> 00:05:18,702 So I never thought, I didn't think about communicating, 95 00:05:18,882 --> 00:05:22,002 like seeing him again, except over the phone. 96 00:05:22,542 --> 00:05:26,322 And then until six months later, I went to Egypt 97 00:05:26,412 --> 00:05:31,212 and we met up I thought my heart was guarded and I 98 00:05:31,212 --> 00:05:36,052 would never disappoint Jesus by falling in love with a 99 00:05:36,072 --> 00:05:37,932 Muslim again, which I did. 100 00:05:38,892 --> 00:05:41,912 And at that time I couldn't resist. 101 00:05:42,542 --> 00:05:45,902 It was hard after so many years living with 102 00:05:46,002 --> 00:05:47,342 a very cold individual. 103 00:05:47,892 --> 00:05:53,142 Sam was a very, I found him to be very kind and a 104 00:05:53,142 --> 00:05:55,662 listener and everything I was looking for in a man. 105 00:05:55,662 --> 00:05:56,622 I was astonished. 106 00:05:56,622 --> 00:05:59,382 I didn't remember that's how he was when I was younger, 107 00:05:59,832 --> 00:06:02,442 but that's what he was. 108 00:06:02,982 --> 00:06:05,452 And we, it didn't take long. 109 00:06:05,452 --> 00:06:06,352 And we got married. 110 00:06:06,952 --> 00:06:10,462 We did get married in a church, but nonetheless, 111 00:06:10,462 --> 00:06:11,332 he was a Muslim. 112 00:06:11,332 --> 00:06:13,162 He wasn't a practicing Muslim. 113 00:06:13,852 --> 00:06:16,192 We would go to Cal Church together. 114 00:06:16,772 --> 00:06:19,202 He would read me the Bible when I'm stressed, 115 00:06:19,202 --> 00:06:22,517 so it wasn't like, I became a Muslim. 116 00:06:22,517 --> 00:06:26,537 I just continued living in close relationship with Christ 117 00:06:26,927 --> 00:06:29,627 and Sam came along with it. 118 00:06:30,287 --> 00:06:31,457 I was the breadwinner. 119 00:06:31,457 --> 00:06:35,597 Sam couldn't get a job, a decent job in Canada 120 00:06:35,637 --> 00:06:39,147 in the States due to his language barrier. 121 00:06:39,957 --> 00:06:43,767 So I worked as an executive, as a chief financial officer, 122 00:06:44,247 --> 00:06:48,667 and Sam took care of the house and everything else. 123 00:06:49,237 --> 00:06:55,327 Over time there were became flags and signs 124 00:06:55,327 --> 00:06:58,477 that I saw that something was off and something 125 00:06:58,477 --> 00:07:03,877 was wrong and I needed to get out of the marriage. 126 00:07:04,867 --> 00:07:06,267 It was about nine years. 127 00:07:06,947 --> 00:07:09,107 And I don't wanna go into that cuz there's just 128 00:07:09,107 --> 00:07:10,397 so much that happened. 129 00:07:10,977 --> 00:07:15,867 But I was able to talk with Sam and convince him that 130 00:07:15,927 --> 00:07:20,037 we need a divorce and we would do an amicable divorce. 131 00:07:20,042 --> 00:07:23,127 After the ugly divorce with Paul, I didn't wanna 132 00:07:23,127 --> 00:07:27,357 go through another ugly divorce, so Sam agreed we 133 00:07:27,357 --> 00:07:30,117 filed a divorce, but he asked me to stay in the 134 00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:35,357 house for three weeks, until he finds something 135 00:07:35,567 --> 00:07:36,977 some other place to go to. 136 00:07:37,367 --> 00:07:41,727 So that's the background for my NDE. 137 00:07:41,747 --> 00:07:42,977 I know it's a lot. 138 00:07:43,442 --> 00:07:44,972 it's a, it is a lot of years, isn't it? 139 00:07:45,342 --> 00:07:45,562 So, 140 00:07:45,707 --> 00:07:46,157 Yeah. 141 00:07:46,637 --> 00:07:50,267 All right, well, let's go from the day of the NDE 142 00:07:50,427 --> 00:07:51,497 and what happened then. 143 00:07:52,497 --> 00:07:56,277 Okay, so it didn't take long after we filed an 144 00:07:56,277 --> 00:08:00,477 amicable divorce about a few days, and I started 145 00:08:00,627 --> 00:08:05,597 waking up feeling aches and pain all over my body. 146 00:08:06,647 --> 00:08:08,687 The worst part was the headache. 147 00:08:08,867 --> 00:08:13,167 The headaches was so bad that I couldn't blink. 148 00:08:13,317 --> 00:08:14,607 That's how bad it was. 149 00:08:14,817 --> 00:08:17,737 The blinking was really painful. 150 00:08:18,537 --> 00:08:22,977 I just sat on the couch trying not to move my head. 151 00:08:23,967 --> 00:08:28,712 And then finally, Sam agreed to take me to urgent care 152 00:08:28,982 --> 00:08:30,452 to see what's going on. 153 00:08:31,042 --> 00:08:34,612 At urgent care they didn't do much. 154 00:08:34,612 --> 00:08:35,802 No blood tests, nothing. 155 00:08:36,262 --> 00:08:39,022 They assumed I'm coming down with the flu. 156 00:08:40,022 --> 00:08:43,322 And they told me to go home and just rest. 157 00:08:43,322 --> 00:08:46,052 They gave me painkillers and sent me away. 158 00:08:46,762 --> 00:08:52,852 The painkillers helped the aching and I was able to 159 00:08:52,852 --> 00:08:56,772 go to work and function again to a certain degree 160 00:08:56,922 --> 00:08:58,702 with the pain medicine. 161 00:08:59,322 --> 00:09:02,982 It was year end and as a cfo there was just so 162 00:09:02,982 --> 00:09:04,692 much to do at the office. 163 00:09:05,352 --> 00:09:12,203 So on January 8th, 2009, I was driving to the office 164 00:09:12,203 --> 00:09:16,463 early in the morning and I saw a vision. 165 00:09:17,463 --> 00:09:20,103 Now I don't see visions. 166 00:09:20,313 --> 00:09:23,223 I've never seen a vision in my whole life. 167 00:09:23,673 --> 00:09:29,813 And here I am driving on the five freeway going north. 168 00:09:30,713 --> 00:09:33,843 And this vision showed my family members 169 00:09:34,493 --> 00:09:36,473 and there was death. 170 00:09:36,833 --> 00:09:38,213 Somebody had died. 171 00:09:39,143 --> 00:09:44,273 And right away I assumed it was Steve, my younger 172 00:09:44,278 --> 00:09:48,053 brother, who we were always told he's not gonna live 173 00:09:48,053 --> 00:09:50,633 too long, past 35 years. 174 00:09:51,323 --> 00:09:57,433 So because a couple of years before that, I had a bad 175 00:09:57,433 --> 00:10:01,913 experience losing my mom and not having, not taking 176 00:10:01,918 --> 00:10:03,293 the time to go see her. 177 00:10:03,293 --> 00:10:06,943 I had a project at the office and I had to finish 178 00:10:07,033 --> 00:10:08,413 a computer conversion. 179 00:10:08,413 --> 00:10:12,313 And by the time I finished and was going to see her, she had 180 00:10:12,318 --> 00:10:14,593 fallen into a coma and passed. 181 00:10:15,293 --> 00:10:17,423 That was the biggest regret of my life. 182 00:10:17,423 --> 00:10:21,513 So this time I felt God was warning me and he's just, 183 00:10:22,513 --> 00:10:25,153 So that I don't go through what I had just gone through. 184 00:10:25,423 --> 00:10:27,553 And he's giving me a warning that Steven 185 00:10:27,553 --> 00:10:29,023 is, that Steve is sick. 186 00:10:29,413 --> 00:10:32,683 So I went to the office, I told them that I need to 187 00:10:32,683 --> 00:10:37,673 go and travel right away that my brother is ill. 188 00:10:38,363 --> 00:10:41,723 And I called Sam and I told him that I was 189 00:10:41,728 --> 00:10:44,883 going to leave that was a Friday and I was gonna 190 00:10:44,883 --> 00:10:46,953 leave Saturday or Sunday. 191 00:10:47,493 --> 00:10:51,783 He said, okay, he'll be there in the house till I come back. 192 00:10:51,873 --> 00:10:55,293 He asked that I would leave Colleen at the house. 193 00:10:55,298 --> 00:10:57,663 I said, no, Colleen will go back to her dad. 194 00:10:58,663 --> 00:11:04,053 And then I called the office staff, everybody and I tried 195 00:11:04,053 --> 00:11:08,013 to delegate and work out things because I knew I was 196 00:11:08,018 --> 00:11:09,873 leaving at a very bad time. 197 00:11:10,383 --> 00:11:14,373 And in the middle of my meeting with all of them, 198 00:11:14,673 --> 00:11:15,963 I could feel my head. 199 00:11:16,963 --> 00:11:19,153 The pain again in my head. 200 00:11:19,363 --> 00:11:23,503 And I remember just sitting down, sitting on my desk and 201 00:11:23,503 --> 00:11:28,283 then holding my head just so that it doesn't explode. 202 00:11:28,283 --> 00:11:33,113 And as I did that and I closed my eyes, I felt, 203 00:11:33,663 --> 00:11:38,203 something I felt somebody telling me leave everything, 204 00:11:38,443 --> 00:11:40,573 stop thinking and go. 205 00:11:41,383 --> 00:11:42,853 I just felt that message. 206 00:11:42,853 --> 00:11:46,543 I don't know how I felt it, I wasn't hearing a voice. 207 00:11:46,603 --> 00:11:50,663 I just got that message and right away, immediately 208 00:11:51,283 --> 00:11:52,603 I dropped everything. 209 00:11:52,993 --> 00:11:57,103 I told my staff that I have to go now and most likely I'll 210 00:11:57,103 --> 00:12:00,943 come back tomorrow, Saturday and I'll leave Sunday. 211 00:12:01,603 --> 00:12:05,023 And I left the office right away, drove home. 212 00:12:05,863 --> 00:12:10,063 And as I'm walking now from the parking lot 213 00:12:10,183 --> 00:12:13,258 going up to our flat. 214 00:12:14,258 --> 00:12:22,198 Now I hear this voice and it's revealed to me, and this time 215 00:12:22,198 --> 00:12:28,638 there's a voice talking to me and immediately I recognize 216 00:12:28,698 --> 00:12:30,018 it's the Holy Spirit. 217 00:12:31,018 --> 00:12:35,128 It wasn't like what I felt in the office. 218 00:12:35,128 --> 00:12:39,058 It was a clear voice as I'm speaking to you right now. 219 00:12:39,808 --> 00:12:43,498 And I don't know how I recognized it 220 00:12:43,498 --> 00:12:44,158 was the Holy Spirit. 221 00:12:44,608 --> 00:12:47,958 He didn't say, I am the holy, he didn't say that. 222 00:12:48,468 --> 00:12:51,738 And I didn't relate to the Holy Spirit. 223 00:12:51,738 --> 00:12:55,698 I didn't understand the Holy Spirit before then. 224 00:12:55,788 --> 00:12:58,618 I was more connected to Jesus. 225 00:12:59,168 --> 00:13:04,628 I knew about God the father, but never got the Holy Spirit. 226 00:13:04,628 --> 00:13:08,378 So I basically ignored the Holy Spirit in my life. 227 00:13:08,738 --> 00:13:12,758 So it was strange that he started talking to 228 00:13:12,763 --> 00:13:15,348 me and I recognized hi. 229 00:13:16,098 --> 00:13:21,768 I recognized him right away, and he did this motion to keep 230 00:13:21,768 --> 00:13:26,618 my mouth shut, like I was not supposed to reveal what he's 231 00:13:26,618 --> 00:13:32,058 saying and the conversation we're having, and I kept 232 00:13:32,058 --> 00:13:33,818 on going, went upstairs. 233 00:13:34,438 --> 00:13:37,678 Sam answered the door and his first question 234 00:13:37,678 --> 00:13:41,158 was, are you leaving tomorrow or the day after? 235 00:13:41,788 --> 00:13:46,108 And I looked at him and I said, I can't think right now. 236 00:13:46,948 --> 00:13:48,538 I will let you know tomorrow. 237 00:13:49,108 --> 00:13:52,198 I need to rest today and I'll let you know tomorrow. 238 00:13:53,098 --> 00:13:55,678 And he said, okay, I'm gonna prepare dinner. 239 00:13:55,678 --> 00:13:56,998 Just go change. 240 00:13:57,418 --> 00:14:01,858 And Colleen came from her bedroom and said, hi 241 00:14:01,858 --> 00:14:03,418 mom, how are you doing? 242 00:14:03,418 --> 00:14:06,838 And I just kissed her, hugged her, and she 243 00:14:06,843 --> 00:14:08,218 ran back into her room. 244 00:14:08,223 --> 00:14:10,138 She was a teenager at that time. 245 00:14:10,143 --> 00:14:13,318 They spent all the time in their room. 246 00:14:14,068 --> 00:14:21,338 And I changed, I came out to the living area. 247 00:14:22,088 --> 00:14:25,778 We had, there's the kitchen and then the 248 00:14:25,778 --> 00:14:26,798 living areas there. 249 00:14:26,798 --> 00:14:30,278 And I stood at the kitchen where there's a counter, 250 00:14:30,278 --> 00:14:31,868 and behind me is a fridge. 251 00:14:32,318 --> 00:14:36,368 And Sam had left a plate for me where he 252 00:14:36,373 --> 00:14:40,358 made me my favorite dinner, which was rice. 253 00:14:40,598 --> 00:14:42,878 And it's an Egyptian dish. 254 00:14:42,908 --> 00:14:47,503 It's green bean casserole with pieces of Fillet Mignon. 255 00:14:47,783 --> 00:14:49,463 And I really love that meal. 256 00:14:50,178 --> 00:14:51,468 And I looked at it. 257 00:14:51,468 --> 00:14:56,328 I had no appetite to eat something with so much sauce. 258 00:14:56,328 --> 00:14:58,398 It's with the tomato sauce. 259 00:14:59,398 --> 00:15:03,958 So I removed the beans and I was left with the 260 00:15:03,958 --> 00:15:08,518 rice on the plate, and I'm looking at the rice and I'm 261 00:15:08,518 --> 00:15:12,118 contemplating, now how am I going to even eat that? 262 00:15:12,148 --> 00:15:14,288 I'm, without an appetite? 263 00:15:14,288 --> 00:15:15,908 And it just looks so dry. 264 00:15:17,093 --> 00:15:20,208 the Holy Spirit said out of nowhere. 265 00:15:20,268 --> 00:15:24,978 He goes, child, turn around, open the fridge 266 00:15:25,248 --> 00:15:28,548 and get the plain yogurt and put it on your rice. 267 00:15:29,548 --> 00:15:32,458 And I'm just standing there with the plate and 268 00:15:32,463 --> 00:15:34,828 I'm going, come again. 269 00:15:34,888 --> 00:15:39,508 Like you care about that little, you care about 270 00:15:39,513 --> 00:15:40,568 the yogurt on my rice. 271 00:15:41,568 --> 00:15:45,438 And his response was, child, every little 272 00:15:45,438 --> 00:15:47,028 detail of your life. 273 00:15:48,028 --> 00:15:55,573 When he said that I was taken it I felt ashamed that 274 00:15:56,083 --> 00:16:01,363 I was 48 at the time, and for 48 years, I ignored him. 275 00:16:01,603 --> 00:16:06,613 He's telling me he's in every little detail of my life and I 276 00:16:06,618 --> 00:16:10,033 didn't acknowledge him, didn't even know anything about 277 00:16:10,033 --> 00:16:14,683 him, and I felt so ashamed that I missed out on him. 278 00:16:15,233 --> 00:16:19,433 But I did what he said. 279 00:16:19,493 --> 00:16:24,623 And this is actually, I love rice and plain yogurt. 280 00:16:24,653 --> 00:16:26,913 It's another way we eat our rice in Egypt. 281 00:16:27,548 --> 00:16:32,768 And I put the plain yogurt and I went on the couch and I 282 00:16:32,768 --> 00:16:37,928 sat there and I ate my whole plate of rice with the yogurt. 283 00:16:38,828 --> 00:16:43,808 And the Holy Spirit was just chatting with me at the time 284 00:16:43,898 --> 00:16:47,328 and what I remember, I just don't remember the joke. 285 00:16:47,328 --> 00:16:50,358 I remember he s he made a joke, he had a 286 00:16:50,358 --> 00:16:51,678 great sense of humor. 287 00:16:51,828 --> 00:16:57,788 And I started giggling and Sam looked at me and asked 288 00:16:57,788 --> 00:17:01,058 me, did I stop at a bar or did I stop for a drink? 289 00:17:01,058 --> 00:17:01,988 He didn't understand. 290 00:17:01,993 --> 00:17:04,658 Why am I sitting quietly and I'm giggling to myself, 291 00:17:05,108 --> 00:17:08,078 but I just ignored him because I didn't wanna 292 00:17:08,078 --> 00:17:12,878 break the conversation with the sweet spirit. 293 00:17:13,878 --> 00:17:16,068 I wish I remembered that joke. 294 00:17:16,068 --> 00:17:21,328 I just, anyway, so right after that It was time. 295 00:17:21,658 --> 00:17:24,928 I finished my dinner, put, got up, put my plate in the 296 00:17:24,928 --> 00:17:31,318 sink, told Sam goodnight, and I'm going to my bedroom. 297 00:17:31,678 --> 00:17:35,338 Said goodnight to Colleen, brushed my teeth. 298 00:17:35,848 --> 00:17:42,868 And as I'm doing all of this, I am in awe and confusion, 299 00:17:43,018 --> 00:17:47,428 not understanding why the Holy Spirit is speaking to me, 300 00:17:47,458 --> 00:17:53,128 what is going on, but I'm just following, but mess, like, 301 00:17:53,188 --> 00:17:54,838 just not quite getting it. 302 00:17:55,608 --> 00:18:04,788 And then I went into, I, I laid down and I covered 303 00:18:04,788 --> 00:18:09,468 myself and I'm lying there wondering what is going on. 304 00:18:09,978 --> 00:18:14,558 And he said, child, it's not you. 305 00:18:15,108 --> 00:18:16,428 It's not your brother. 306 00:18:17,428 --> 00:18:24,708 It is you and Rod, no one is ready to hear that 307 00:18:24,708 --> 00:18:26,538 statement going to bed. 308 00:18:27,538 --> 00:18:34,318 I remember as soon as he said that, my heart dropped and it 309 00:18:34,318 --> 00:18:37,198 was just so heavy on my chest. 310 00:18:37,348 --> 00:18:43,288 I started tearing up thinking of my daughter of Colleen 311 00:18:44,288 --> 00:18:47,733 coming in the morning to wake me up and she's 312 00:18:47,733 --> 00:18:49,563 gonna find a dead body. 313 00:18:49,743 --> 00:18:51,393 She's gonna find her mom dead. 314 00:18:52,393 --> 00:18:53,413 That killed me. 315 00:18:53,643 --> 00:18:56,943 I just I couldn't cope with that. 316 00:18:56,993 --> 00:18:59,813 It was just so hard to accept. 317 00:19:00,583 --> 00:19:03,093 And and for Andrew as well. 318 00:19:03,783 --> 00:19:08,593 And I couldn't get up to say, to hug her for another time. 319 00:19:08,593 --> 00:19:12,133 It's like when Spirit of Death is on you, 320 00:19:12,133 --> 00:19:13,573 you can't do anything. 321 00:19:13,693 --> 00:19:14,683 It's too late. 322 00:19:14,683 --> 00:19:16,873 It was like, it's me. 323 00:19:17,423 --> 00:19:21,563 And the Holy Spirit sensed the heaviness on my heart, 324 00:19:22,373 --> 00:19:29,183 and he reminded me of a dream I had several years prior, 325 00:19:29,183 --> 00:19:30,773 like maybe three years prior. 326 00:19:31,253 --> 00:19:36,553 And in that dream I was walking, it was Colleen, 327 00:19:37,413 --> 00:19:42,693 Andrew, and myself walking along the meadows with Jesus. 328 00:19:43,693 --> 00:19:47,773 And he's walking with us and he had his arm 329 00:19:47,833 --> 00:19:49,533 around Colleen and Andrew. 330 00:19:50,533 --> 00:19:53,773 And they had, and me somehow. 331 00:19:54,133 --> 00:19:59,623 And we each had our arm around his waist and were laughing 332 00:19:59,623 --> 00:20:02,423 and walking in that meadow. 333 00:20:03,163 --> 00:20:07,333 And I do remember in the morning when I woke 334 00:20:07,333 --> 00:20:10,123 up and I don't usually dream of Jesus like that. 335 00:20:10,153 --> 00:20:12,938 That was a dream I remember significantly. 336 00:20:14,348 --> 00:20:18,248 that morning after the dream, I was confused on how 337 00:20:18,248 --> 00:20:22,238 did we all the three of us walk and walk next to him 338 00:20:22,238 --> 00:20:27,338 somehow and not tremble on each other's feet, and he 339 00:20:27,338 --> 00:20:31,538 made it clear that night that I will be there with 340 00:20:31,538 --> 00:20:35,408 them, but I am in spirit, but he's got my children. 341 00:20:36,008 --> 00:20:41,168 And as soon as he reminded me of that and confirmed 342 00:20:41,168 --> 00:20:42,368 that he's got them. 343 00:20:43,368 --> 00:20:46,488 It lifted the heaviness off of my chest. 344 00:20:46,568 --> 00:20:49,148 It was like, it was okay. 345 00:20:49,178 --> 00:20:52,778 It was okay to surrender my children to him, and it 346 00:20:52,778 --> 00:20:56,108 was okay for me to die at this point, knowing that 347 00:20:56,258 --> 00:20:57,578 he'll take care of them. 348 00:20:58,568 --> 00:21:02,518 And I breathed again easily. 349 00:21:03,238 --> 00:21:06,748 And I told him, okay, what do I need to do? 350 00:21:07,298 --> 00:21:11,648 And he said, relax child. 351 00:21:11,858 --> 00:21:15,888 You are going on a journey and you'll come back 352 00:21:16,358 --> 00:21:18,008 and be my ambassador. 353 00:21:19,008 --> 00:21:22,518 And as soon as he said that, it was like, here, 354 00:21:22,768 --> 00:21:26,458 a few minutes ago, I'm prepping myself, I'm dying. 355 00:21:26,458 --> 00:21:29,338 And then he says, it's a journey and I'm gonna come 356 00:21:29,338 --> 00:21:30,778 back to be his ambassador. 357 00:21:30,783 --> 00:21:31,838 It was like I. 358 00:21:31,838 --> 00:21:32,608 Hallelujah. 359 00:21:32,608 --> 00:21:33,478 Like, this is great. 360 00:21:33,538 --> 00:21:35,728 Okay, now what do you want me to do? 361 00:21:36,328 --> 00:21:39,508 And again, he goes, I need you to relax. 362 00:21:39,778 --> 00:21:41,248 I said, okay, well, I'm relaxed. 363 00:21:41,253 --> 00:21:42,298 He goes, no, no child. 364 00:21:42,748 --> 00:21:47,248 You need to hold to be still like, to stop thinking. 365 00:21:47,253 --> 00:21:49,248 He actually used the word stop thinking. 366 00:21:50,248 --> 00:21:55,558 And it was weird to me because I'm an analytical person and 367 00:21:55,558 --> 00:21:57,508 my brain goes everywhere. 368 00:21:57,898 --> 00:22:01,888 And it was so hard to stop thinking, but I'm trying 369 00:22:01,918 --> 00:22:05,683 and I'm go, I'm trying to relax and I'm uptight, of 370 00:22:05,683 --> 00:22:08,474 course not relaxing because now I'm trying to not think 371 00:22:08,743 --> 00:22:13,093 so hard couldn't figure out did I stop thinking, 372 00:22:13,093 --> 00:22:14,473 did I not stop thinking? 373 00:22:14,743 --> 00:22:16,333 And he was such. 374 00:22:16,948 --> 00:22:19,588 He was so patient with me. 375 00:22:19,828 --> 00:22:21,658 I felt like he was just gonna give up on 376 00:22:21,658 --> 00:22:22,978 me or, slap me around. 377 00:22:22,983 --> 00:22:27,718 But he was just so patient until I finally 378 00:22:27,748 --> 00:22:31,408 managed to relax and and stopped thinking. 379 00:22:31,968 --> 00:22:38,428 And when I got to that point, he said, okay, now I 380 00:22:38,428 --> 00:22:40,978 need you to shut your eyes. 381 00:22:41,978 --> 00:22:46,988 And no matter what happens, do not open your eyes, child. 382 00:22:47,988 --> 00:22:48,918 And I said, okay. 383 00:22:49,848 --> 00:22:52,278 He said no, this is important. 384 00:22:52,578 --> 00:22:57,378 No matter what happens, do not open your eyes. 385 00:22:58,378 --> 00:22:59,518 And I said, okay. 386 00:23:00,478 --> 00:23:07,628 So I shut my eyes and immediately I could see, even 387 00:23:07,628 --> 00:23:11,138 though my eyes were shut, whether I could see or feel 388 00:23:11,438 --> 00:23:16,508 this bright light that show like it was in my whole room, 389 00:23:16,568 --> 00:23:21,098 a light that was so powerful, I couldn't, I've never seen 390 00:23:21,098 --> 00:23:25,638 anything like it or feel anything like it so bright. 391 00:23:25,938 --> 00:23:28,218 But it wasn't just a bright light. 392 00:23:28,458 --> 00:23:29,868 There was a presence. 393 00:23:30,108 --> 00:23:31,638 There was a presence. 394 00:23:31,758 --> 00:23:35,568 What I felt was God, the Father, it was like 395 00:23:35,658 --> 00:23:37,128 a humongous presence. 396 00:23:37,128 --> 00:23:40,429 It was just something that it's hard to 397 00:23:40,608 --> 00:23:42,558 describe in words. 398 00:23:43,558 --> 00:23:47,578 And of course, I kept my eyes shut because, you are 399 00:23:47,583 --> 00:23:49,408 told to keep your eyes shut. 400 00:23:50,098 --> 00:23:55,738 And then the window next to me, there was a window. 401 00:23:56,018 --> 00:23:57,728 The wall was here with the window. 402 00:23:57,968 --> 00:24:01,238 The window started shaking, and it was like rattling, 403 00:24:01,268 --> 00:24:05,138 and it felt like there's an earthquake just in my bedroom. 404 00:24:05,918 --> 00:24:10,898 And then my heart started to palpitate 405 00:24:11,558 --> 00:24:14,748 and it palpated slowly. 406 00:24:14,748 --> 00:24:19,668 Like it started slowly, and then it started to increase. 407 00:24:19,668 --> 00:24:22,008 And it was going, like, I could feel 408 00:24:22,008 --> 00:24:23,058 it, it was like, boom. 409 00:24:23,088 --> 00:24:25,398 And I, and that scared me. 410 00:24:25,878 --> 00:24:31,018 And as soon as I got scared, the whole process shut down. 411 00:24:31,818 --> 00:24:34,228 My heart stopped palpitating. 412 00:24:34,888 --> 00:24:38,078 The window stopped rattling, but immediately 413 00:24:38,078 --> 00:24:39,338 the light disappeared. 414 00:24:39,338 --> 00:24:44,018 Like the light vanished and the whole process shut down. 415 00:24:44,558 --> 00:24:48,008 And I'm sitting there and I'm going, shoot, I 416 00:24:48,013 --> 00:24:52,958 screwed up my death and it was like, no child. 417 00:24:53,108 --> 00:24:55,298 This one you can't screw up. 418 00:24:56,298 --> 00:24:59,328 And I'm just sitting there feeling awful. 419 00:24:59,333 --> 00:25:01,608 He goes, I just need you to relax child, 420 00:25:01,788 --> 00:25:03,768 I need you to relax. 421 00:25:03,768 --> 00:25:05,148 You need to relax more. 422 00:25:05,758 --> 00:25:08,333 And again, here, this whole thing is happening and 423 00:25:08,333 --> 00:25:13,643 he's so kind and sweet and just coaching me slowly. 424 00:25:14,063 --> 00:25:17,633 And he goes, I want you to stop thinking again. 425 00:25:18,383 --> 00:25:20,513 And I went back into that. 426 00:25:20,518 --> 00:25:23,153 It was like a meditation where you stop thinking. 427 00:25:23,153 --> 00:25:25,013 And it was, again, it was hard. 428 00:25:25,553 --> 00:25:27,143 But I got to that point. 429 00:25:27,483 --> 00:25:32,043 And then he softly said, remember, do 430 00:25:32,043 --> 00:25:33,783 not open your eyes. 431 00:25:33,813 --> 00:25:36,243 You are to close your eyes, but remember you 432 00:25:36,243 --> 00:25:37,773 are not to open your eyes. 433 00:25:38,093 --> 00:25:39,153 And I agreed. 434 00:25:39,423 --> 00:25:42,723 And he said, do not open your eyes, child, remember? 435 00:25:42,843 --> 00:25:43,683 And I said, okay. 436 00:25:44,683 --> 00:25:49,423 And I did shut my eyes and then the light came again 437 00:25:49,543 --> 00:25:54,883 and the presence of the power of the Lord it was back. 438 00:25:55,213 --> 00:25:59,443 And the windows started shaking again and my heart 439 00:25:59,448 --> 00:26:03,133 started beating and the palpitation, and then it 440 00:26:03,133 --> 00:26:05,203 got harder and harder. 441 00:26:05,203 --> 00:26:07,603 And this time it became harder. 442 00:26:07,603 --> 00:26:10,303 I literally thought, my heart is gonna explode. 443 00:26:10,333 --> 00:26:12,433 Like I thought, okay, I'm having a heart attack and 444 00:26:12,433 --> 00:26:14,053 maybe that's how it happens. 445 00:26:14,473 --> 00:26:18,873 But I wasn't afraid and I didn't shut the process down. 446 00:26:19,153 --> 00:26:21,853 I just was okay with it. 447 00:26:21,853 --> 00:26:26,253 And I kept the process going and then it stopped. 448 00:26:27,253 --> 00:26:34,313 Everything stopped after a while, and he said, the next 449 00:26:34,313 --> 00:26:37,263 step child is an annoyance. 450 00:26:38,263 --> 00:26:40,873 And I'm going, okay. 451 00:26:40,993 --> 00:26:44,413 And he goes, it's an annoyance child. 452 00:26:44,413 --> 00:26:48,583 I need you to remember only an annoyance. 453 00:26:49,583 --> 00:26:50,543 I said, okay. 454 00:26:51,543 --> 00:26:59,283 And right away I felt like, like pain just came over me. 455 00:26:59,283 --> 00:27:02,583 A wolf of pain, but more in my legs. 456 00:27:02,763 --> 00:27:04,143 I remember my legs. 457 00:27:04,143 --> 00:27:08,483 The pain in my bones was just so much. 458 00:27:08,483 --> 00:27:13,573 It felt I always related to somebody taking 459 00:27:13,573 --> 00:27:15,813 a sledge hammer and breaking your bones. 460 00:27:16,243 --> 00:27:17,803 It was that strong. 461 00:27:18,283 --> 00:27:22,753 And, but I'm feeling this and he's comforting me, 462 00:27:22,783 --> 00:27:25,843 and he's saying, child, it's an annoyance child. 463 00:27:25,843 --> 00:27:27,343 It will pass child. 464 00:27:27,643 --> 00:27:29,113 It's only an annoyance. 465 00:27:29,353 --> 00:27:34,603 And as he's saying this, the pain is not as excruciating. 466 00:27:34,613 --> 00:27:39,503 I'm focusing on him and what he's saying in such a gentle 467 00:27:39,503 --> 00:27:42,293 tone and just comforting me. 468 00:27:42,833 --> 00:27:47,933 And I was able to concentrate on him and not on my 469 00:27:47,933 --> 00:27:51,153 legs and the pain that was really happening. 470 00:27:51,733 --> 00:27:53,723 And he kept saying, it'll pass. 471 00:27:53,753 --> 00:27:54,383 It'll pass. 472 00:27:54,383 --> 00:27:55,883 Child annoyance, child. 473 00:27:56,363 --> 00:28:01,533 And I hung in there, and then the pain stopped. 474 00:28:02,533 --> 00:28:07,253 And it was such a relief when the pain stopped and 475 00:28:07,253 --> 00:28:09,433 I didn't feel anything. 476 00:28:10,433 --> 00:28:16,893 Anymore, but I didn't feel anything to the point where 477 00:28:17,223 --> 00:28:21,603 I literally couldn't feel from my head to my toes. 478 00:28:21,633 --> 00:28:23,453 I I was like numb. 479 00:28:23,453 --> 00:28:26,213 I couldn't feel my body. 480 00:28:27,213 --> 00:28:35,063 And I'm lying there and I'm asking him, am I paralyzed? 481 00:28:36,063 --> 00:28:40,543 And he said, I'm sorry, child, you are. 482 00:28:41,543 --> 00:28:42,598 And I'm going no. 483 00:28:43,528 --> 00:28:45,598 Can I move my legs? 484 00:28:45,778 --> 00:28:46,708 He goes, no. 485 00:28:47,398 --> 00:28:49,438 I said, can I move my toes? 486 00:28:50,038 --> 00:28:51,298 He goes, no child. 487 00:28:51,868 --> 00:28:53,488 I go, can I try? 488 00:28:54,488 --> 00:28:59,508 And he goes, okay, child, try and I'm trying and nothing. 489 00:28:59,688 --> 00:29:02,588 You know when once you're paralyzed, you 490 00:29:02,588 --> 00:29:03,438 don't feel a thing. 491 00:29:04,398 --> 00:29:10,548 And at this point I felt Sam coming into the 492 00:29:10,553 --> 00:29:16,318 bedroom and he's getting ready to come in and I'm 493 00:29:16,318 --> 00:29:20,128 thinking, okay, he's gonna notice that I'm paralyzed 494 00:29:20,133 --> 00:29:24,988 and he's gonna call 9 1 1 and rush me to the hospital. 495 00:29:25,538 --> 00:29:29,138 He comes in, he sleeps on his side of the bed. 496 00:29:29,978 --> 00:29:30,628 We had a two bedroom. 497 00:29:30,628 --> 00:29:32,438 Colleen was in the other bedroom. 498 00:29:32,438 --> 00:29:35,648 So even though we were separated, we had agreed that 499 00:29:35,648 --> 00:29:40,378 we each, we were civil to each other, of course, and each one 500 00:29:40,378 --> 00:29:42,568 of us sleeps on their side. 501 00:29:42,568 --> 00:29:45,748 But he went to bed, didn't notice me, and gave 502 00:29:45,748 --> 00:29:47,098 me his back and slept. 503 00:29:48,088 --> 00:29:50,908 And I laid there paralyzed. 504 00:29:51,908 --> 00:30:02,698 But had no fear, had no anxiety, had, it was the most 505 00:30:02,698 --> 00:30:08,188 beautiful night in my life, spending that night with the 506 00:30:08,188 --> 00:30:15,233 Holy Spirit, the comforter, the whole night He downloaded 507 00:30:15,233 --> 00:30:19,103 scripture in my mind and things that I didn't know. 508 00:30:19,193 --> 00:30:24,383 He answered all my questions that I had over the years 509 00:30:24,503 --> 00:30:27,263 without me saying a thing or asking a question. 510 00:30:27,263 --> 00:30:30,203 Like I wasn't or what happens when no nothing. 511 00:30:30,563 --> 00:30:34,733 I'm sitting there and he's going answer by answer 512 00:30:34,823 --> 00:30:39,953 of every question I had, and he's explaining it 513 00:30:40,073 --> 00:30:43,803 in a sweet matter and I'm talking about questions 514 00:30:43,803 --> 00:30:45,213 that I'm sure we all have. 515 00:30:45,213 --> 00:30:47,463 Like, why is there so much tragedy? 516 00:30:47,883 --> 00:30:50,983 Why are children dying of hunger and poverty? 517 00:30:51,303 --> 00:30:54,933 Like the questions that we all have? 518 00:30:55,683 --> 00:30:57,063 And he answered them. 519 00:30:57,153 --> 00:31:01,203 And when he did answer them, they made sense. 520 00:31:01,443 --> 00:31:03,663 Somehow they made sense. 521 00:31:04,663 --> 00:31:12,493 But what is interesting is those answers are the only 522 00:31:12,493 --> 00:31:19,363 thing in my encounter, other than his joke that I, that 523 00:31:19,363 --> 00:31:22,063 he erased from my mind. 524 00:31:22,593 --> 00:31:26,223 I know, and I remember he answered them and I 525 00:31:26,223 --> 00:31:29,493 remember going, oh my, yeah, that makes sense. 526 00:31:29,498 --> 00:31:31,283 That, but they're gone. 527 00:31:32,093 --> 00:31:37,983 And it makes sense to me that he would erase these question, 528 00:31:38,163 --> 00:31:43,778 these answers because they're still, mysteries 529 00:31:43,778 --> 00:31:46,128 we're not supposed to know. 530 00:31:46,888 --> 00:31:51,808 And he must have just, he appeased me for the night and 531 00:31:51,808 --> 00:31:53,308 was just telling me things. 532 00:31:53,308 --> 00:31:56,288 And then like the men from black, you tell them 533 00:31:56,288 --> 00:32:00,438 things and then you do something and it's all gone. 534 00:32:01,078 --> 00:32:04,133 Because I don't think he wanted me to 535 00:32:04,133 --> 00:32:06,953 share those answers. 536 00:32:07,023 --> 00:32:09,333 These are answers we're all gonna find out 537 00:32:09,333 --> 00:32:10,743 about them when we die. 538 00:32:11,293 --> 00:32:16,003 But Rod, he was the most beautiful like teacher. 539 00:32:16,183 --> 00:32:19,953 The he, the way he was explaining things, he 540 00:32:19,953 --> 00:32:20,753 wasn't going too slow. 541 00:32:20,813 --> 00:32:22,713 He wasn't going too fast. 542 00:32:22,713 --> 00:32:24,903 He was just, he made everything perfect. 543 00:32:25,053 --> 00:32:27,813 He showed me visions all night. 544 00:32:27,903 --> 00:32:32,583 I spent seeing visions of things, just an amazing night. 545 00:32:32,823 --> 00:32:37,683 And it didn't matter that I was paralyzed, that was gone. 546 00:32:37,688 --> 00:32:39,953 Like, here I am, I'm paralyzed, not knowing 547 00:32:40,233 --> 00:32:41,373 what's gonna happen. 548 00:32:41,493 --> 00:32:42,303 Didn't care. 549 00:32:42,663 --> 00:32:46,693 He was overpowering everything. 550 00:32:46,698 --> 00:32:49,663 His presence was just amazing. 551 00:32:50,413 --> 00:32:56,293 And then I remember I needed to go to the restroom. 552 00:32:57,058 --> 00:33:01,843 And like I tried to get up and that's when I remembered and 553 00:33:01,843 --> 00:33:04,453 realized that I am paralyzed. 554 00:33:04,693 --> 00:33:08,223 So I'm sitting there, I know I need to go and I'm going I 555 00:33:08,223 --> 00:33:09,603 need to go to the restroom. 556 00:33:10,293 --> 00:33:12,393 And he goes, go, child. 557 00:33:12,993 --> 00:33:14,223 And I'm going, go? 558 00:33:14,523 --> 00:33:15,453 And he goes, yes, child. 559 00:33:15,933 --> 00:33:17,493 It was like, okay. 560 00:33:18,113 --> 00:33:25,083 So I just went and there was just so much water 561 00:33:25,088 --> 00:33:26,043 coming outta my body. 562 00:33:26,043 --> 00:33:30,163 I felt like Sam was gonna, he's gonna wake up feeling 563 00:33:30,168 --> 00:33:33,223 a flood coming towards him, but no, nothing happened. 564 00:33:33,673 --> 00:33:35,443 He continued sleeping. 565 00:33:36,373 --> 00:33:42,643 And then towards, it was like break of dawn, around six ish. 566 00:33:42,703 --> 00:33:44,713 I could feel Sam getting up. 567 00:33:44,718 --> 00:33:47,323 He went to the restroom and I thought, okay, 568 00:33:47,323 --> 00:33:50,113 he's gonna notice me and he's gonna call 9 1 1. 569 00:33:50,263 --> 00:33:52,363 He came back and went to bed. 570 00:33:53,248 --> 00:33:57,118 And I stayed there again with the comforter. 571 00:33:57,118 --> 00:34:00,808 Did not leave me for one second, about 572 00:34:00,898 --> 00:34:02,668 another hour or two. 573 00:34:02,698 --> 00:34:07,738 And that's when Sam got up and I heard him. 574 00:34:07,743 --> 00:34:14,818 Now I had my back to Sam and he was pushing my back and 575 00:34:14,823 --> 00:34:17,428 he's going Ana, are you up? 576 00:34:18,268 --> 00:34:21,508 And of course I couldn't respond. 577 00:34:22,148 --> 00:34:24,308 So I'm thinking, okay, he's gonna notice. 578 00:34:24,998 --> 00:34:30,008 So he turned me towards him and he came over me looking 579 00:34:30,008 --> 00:34:35,468 at me and he opened my, one of my eyelids and I could 580 00:34:35,468 --> 00:34:36,728 see him at that point. 581 00:34:37,058 --> 00:34:40,898 And then he opened the other eyelid and let it go, and I 582 00:34:40,903 --> 00:34:42,578 could see him staring at me. 583 00:34:42,848 --> 00:34:45,138 And then he grabbed one of my arms. 584 00:34:46,138 --> 00:34:48,838 And he let it go and my arm fell. 585 00:34:48,958 --> 00:34:53,098 He grabbed the other arm and let it go and it fell. 586 00:34:53,758 --> 00:34:57,778 And I'm going, okay, now it's proof that I'm not responding. 587 00:34:57,778 --> 00:34:58,918 Something is going on. 588 00:34:59,458 --> 00:35:04,678 And then he got up and came on my side of the bed and 589 00:35:04,678 --> 00:35:06,958 started taking off my jewelry. 590 00:35:07,528 --> 00:35:11,728 And I'm thinking, why is he taking off my jewelry? 591 00:35:12,358 --> 00:35:14,638 I'm going, okay, maybe he doesn't want them to 592 00:35:14,638 --> 00:35:15,838 get lost in the hospital. 593 00:35:16,708 --> 00:35:23,368 And then he takes a pill and he puts it in my mouth. 594 00:35:24,118 --> 00:35:27,958 Now because I'm paralyzed, my teeth are locked 595 00:35:28,288 --> 00:35:31,918 like this, so he can't put it inside my mouth. 596 00:35:31,918 --> 00:35:36,098 So he's grinding it in my teeth, grinding it 597 00:35:36,103 --> 00:35:37,448 until it got dissolved. 598 00:35:37,453 --> 00:35:39,968 And I could tell it was Xanax. 599 00:35:40,868 --> 00:35:44,378 And I'm thinking, why is he giving me Xanax eight 600 00:35:44,378 --> 00:35:47,768 o'clock in the morning and he's doing all this? 601 00:35:47,768 --> 00:35:53,078 And then he took a mint and he put it in my mouth 602 00:35:53,138 --> 00:35:56,258 and again, but he just left it between my mouth and my 603 00:35:56,258 --> 00:35:59,068 teeth because he couldn't put it through my teeth. 604 00:35:59,488 --> 00:36:03,068 And I'm thinking, boy, I must have horrible breath 605 00:36:03,068 --> 00:36:06,558 that he's, taking time to put mint in my mouth 606 00:36:06,558 --> 00:36:08,208 before he calls 9 1 1. 607 00:36:09,498 --> 00:36:13,408 And then he touched my body and my clothes and he 608 00:36:13,408 --> 00:36:15,598 goes, oh, you wet yourself. 609 00:36:15,988 --> 00:36:18,598 Here let's get you out of these. 610 00:36:18,688 --> 00:36:22,348 And I'm going, okay, that's nice. 611 00:36:22,348 --> 00:36:25,738 He's gonna change me before he calls 9 1 1 612 00:36:25,738 --> 00:36:29,218 so it's not embarrassing that I peed myself and 613 00:36:29,218 --> 00:36:30,243 put me in warm clothes. 614 00:36:31,243 --> 00:36:35,083 And he starts taking my clothes off and I'm naked 615 00:36:35,083 --> 00:36:42,883 now and he's on top of me and he starts raping me. 616 00:36:43,883 --> 00:36:48,723 And at that point I'm just puzzled. 617 00:36:49,473 --> 00:36:51,243 I didn't know what was going on. 618 00:36:51,393 --> 00:36:56,463 I didn't understand why is he raping a paralyzed woman? 619 00:36:56,523 --> 00:37:00,733 Why isn't he rushing me from to 9 1 1? 620 00:37:01,033 --> 00:37:01,893 What is happening? 621 00:37:02,443 --> 00:37:04,783 It just didn't make sense. 622 00:37:05,713 --> 00:37:10,103 And then he got up and went to take his shower. 623 00:37:10,108 --> 00:37:13,103 I could hear him in the shower, and he left me 624 00:37:14,063 --> 00:37:17,973 in the middle of the bed and he finished his 625 00:37:17,978 --> 00:37:19,953 shower and came back. 626 00:37:20,953 --> 00:37:25,123 And he and I could hear him running water for me, 627 00:37:25,123 --> 00:37:28,123 but I could feel, I could hear, it was like, wasn't 628 00:37:28,123 --> 00:37:30,553 like a shower, it was like he's filling a tub for me 629 00:37:31,553 --> 00:37:35,633 and he's coming around and he's pulling me off the 630 00:37:35,633 --> 00:37:37,854 bed to take me in there. 631 00:37:38,303 --> 00:37:43,523 And as he's pulling me, as soon as I got to the edge of 632 00:37:43,523 --> 00:37:45,923 the bed, he couldn't carry me. 633 00:37:45,953 --> 00:37:49,323 And he dropped me on the floor and he goes 634 00:37:49,393 --> 00:37:51,343 oh, I can't carry you. 635 00:37:51,763 --> 00:37:56,533 And I'm going, okay, well I'm thanking God that I'm 636 00:37:56,533 --> 00:38:01,003 chubby now that he's not able to carry me because I'm 637 00:38:01,003 --> 00:38:02,683 not sure what's going on. 638 00:38:03,223 --> 00:38:08,893 And he drops me there and I land, like on my side, 639 00:38:09,123 --> 00:38:15,673 crumpled together naked, and he leaves me there and I'm in. 640 00:38:16,588 --> 00:38:20,548 I don't wanna say awe, I'm in shock, just confused. 641 00:38:21,448 --> 00:38:25,588 But the Holy Spirit, the comforter again, 642 00:38:25,618 --> 00:38:26,458 did not leave me. 643 00:38:26,458 --> 00:38:29,998 He's there, but I'm puzzled how, that's a better word. 644 00:38:30,028 --> 00:38:31,888 Puzzled of what's going on. 645 00:38:32,578 --> 00:38:35,938 And then Colleen, you can, we heard Colleen's 646 00:38:36,628 --> 00:38:37,918 TV got turned on. 647 00:38:38,488 --> 00:38:41,458 She was next to us, so he dropped, he left me 648 00:38:41,668 --> 00:38:43,378 and went to tend to her. 649 00:38:43,798 --> 00:38:47,898 And she told me later that he told her mom does 650 00:38:47,903 --> 00:38:49,878 not wanna be disturbed. 651 00:38:49,938 --> 00:38:55,008 She's crying over Steve, Steven in Egypt. 652 00:38:55,458 --> 00:38:58,068 And she took a few xanaxes and she doesn't 653 00:38:58,068 --> 00:38:58,908 wanna be disturbed. 654 00:38:59,328 --> 00:39:02,568 So Colleen respected that and didn't come and check 655 00:39:02,568 --> 00:39:08,548 on me, and he comes back in the room, but then he's 656 00:39:08,548 --> 00:39:11,578 got a jug of ice water. 657 00:39:12,283 --> 00:39:15,493 That he starts pouring over my body. 658 00:39:16,303 --> 00:39:22,033 And at this point I go into shock cuz my body is warm. 659 00:39:22,033 --> 00:39:24,583 I don't know when you're paralyzed and then this 660 00:39:24,588 --> 00:39:26,323 ice water comes on you. 661 00:39:26,563 --> 00:39:30,883 And I felt like there's needles all over my body. 662 00:39:31,883 --> 00:39:36,563 And it was definitely not it. 663 00:39:36,623 --> 00:39:40,073 It was like, I don't want it torturing me. 664 00:39:40,073 --> 00:39:43,713 Like, and he was doing it slowly and it wasn't ending. 665 00:39:44,133 --> 00:39:48,753 And the comforter saying it'll pass child, it'll pass. 666 00:39:48,753 --> 00:39:49,703 It's an annoyance. 667 00:39:50,313 --> 00:39:55,083 And I'm concentrating on the comforter so that I don't 668 00:39:55,088 --> 00:40:00,003 concentrate on the pain of the needles all over my body. 669 00:40:01,263 --> 00:40:07,683 And then I see a vision of Christ Jesus's hand. 670 00:40:08,683 --> 00:40:10,783 Next to me on the floor. 671 00:40:10,813 --> 00:40:15,253 And I just see the hand and I see the hand as they're 672 00:40:15,253 --> 00:40:18,523 piercing the nail in his hand. 673 00:40:19,153 --> 00:40:22,243 So I see the hammer and the nail and the blood. 674 00:40:23,243 --> 00:40:29,328 And when I see that, I'm I'm embarrassed of my own 675 00:40:30,228 --> 00:40:33,798 discomfort at this point because it was nothing 676 00:40:34,038 --> 00:40:36,288 compared to Jesus's pain. 677 00:40:37,008 --> 00:40:41,508 And when I saw that, it was like, I can handle whatever. 678 00:40:42,138 --> 00:40:46,638 That's nothing compared to what he went through. 679 00:40:47,218 --> 00:40:49,888 So it helped me endure that. 680 00:40:50,888 --> 00:40:54,738 And then it stopped and I could breathe again. 681 00:40:55,668 --> 00:41:00,368 And he went out and he came back, and he started 682 00:41:00,748 --> 00:41:02,428 doing the same thing again, 683 00:41:02,518 --> 00:41:06,718 and he started the ice water on me and it put me 684 00:41:06,718 --> 00:41:11,288 in shock again And the sweet comforter is just telling 685 00:41:11,288 --> 00:41:13,568 me it's an annoyance child. 686 00:41:14,408 --> 00:41:19,628 And I see the vision of Christ's hand again, and I'm 687 00:41:19,628 --> 00:41:25,458 just heartbroken over him that I, that my pain is nothing. 688 00:41:26,458 --> 00:41:29,968 And the comforter is saying it's an annoyance and he's 689 00:41:29,968 --> 00:41:34,228 pouring the ice and I'm, my heart is heavy for Jesus. 690 00:41:35,228 --> 00:41:38,868 And then it stopped and he left the room and I 691 00:41:38,873 --> 00:41:43,378 was relieved to not have any pain or discomfort. 692 00:41:44,378 --> 00:41:47,228 And then he came back, but this time 693 00:41:47,888 --> 00:41:50,428 he went over my body. 694 00:41:51,418 --> 00:41:57,118 And he bent down and he grabbed my nose and he held 695 00:41:57,118 --> 00:41:59,728 my nose shut for a while. 696 00:42:00,728 --> 00:42:05,708 And because I'm paralyzed, I can't breathe from my teeth, 697 00:42:05,828 --> 00:42:07,328 I can't breathe from my mouth. 698 00:42:07,328 --> 00:42:13,028 My mouth is shut, and he's got my nose shut so I'm not 699 00:42:13,028 --> 00:42:15,938 breathing and he's holding it. 700 00:42:16,328 --> 00:42:22,608 And suddenly I go I open my mouth and it's like a reflex. 701 00:42:22,608 --> 00:42:25,698 And as soon as I, my mouth opened up, he let go. 702 00:42:26,358 --> 00:42:27,708 He let go and left the room. 703 00:42:28,708 --> 00:42:35,018 And this is when I remembered my million dollar life 704 00:42:35,023 --> 00:42:38,948 insurance that I had forgotten to cancel after 705 00:42:38,953 --> 00:42:39,988 we filed the divorce. 706 00:42:40,748 --> 00:42:43,988 And he was still the beneficiary of half a million. 707 00:42:44,468 --> 00:42:47,708 The kids got half and he got the other half. 708 00:42:48,623 --> 00:42:53,813 And it made sense to me what was going on and why 709 00:42:53,813 --> 00:42:55,433 he's not calling 9 1 1. 710 00:42:56,433 --> 00:43:00,223 And then he came back and he did the same thing again. 711 00:43:00,553 --> 00:43:01,483 He bend down. 712 00:43:01,543 --> 00:43:05,503 He held my nose and tried to hold it as long as he 713 00:43:05,503 --> 00:43:07,903 could, and I'm suffocating. 714 00:43:07,933 --> 00:43:10,993 But thankfully a reflex happened. 715 00:43:10,993 --> 00:43:12,463 I go, ah, again. 716 00:43:12,883 --> 00:43:18,203 And he gets startled again, and he leaves and 717 00:43:19,203 --> 00:43:22,943 I'm lying there and the comforter is still with me. 718 00:43:23,783 --> 00:43:25,523 And I'm not stressed. 719 00:43:25,643 --> 00:43:27,083 I'm not anxious. 720 00:43:27,633 --> 00:43:28,473 I'm at peace. 721 00:43:29,463 --> 00:43:30,173 I'm at peace. 722 00:43:31,113 --> 00:43:35,043 It didn't matter what was happening to my body. 723 00:43:35,733 --> 00:43:39,693 It didn't matter who was doing what to me. 724 00:43:40,533 --> 00:43:45,483 The focus mainly was on the comforter and his 725 00:43:45,483 --> 00:43:48,063 beauty and his sweetness. 726 00:43:48,093 --> 00:43:54,553 It just, just a beautiful encounter when we're dying. 727 00:43:54,613 --> 00:43:56,223 The spirit of death. 728 00:43:56,283 --> 00:43:58,873 He, I call him the spirit of light when he's 729 00:43:58,873 --> 00:44:02,563 there and comforting us no matter what kind of 730 00:44:02,563 --> 00:44:04,213 death we're dying from. 731 00:44:04,543 --> 00:44:06,163 He just, it takes over. 732 00:44:06,643 --> 00:44:12,143 It's it doesn't matter what's happening to this body. 733 00:44:12,683 --> 00:44:17,063 And then he came back and he did the same thing again. 734 00:44:17,063 --> 00:44:21,353 He bent down and grabbed my nose, but this time 735 00:44:21,353 --> 00:44:25,493 he gently put his three fingers over my mouth. 736 00:44:25,498 --> 00:44:29,403 So it was like that, and he covered my mouth. 737 00:44:30,403 --> 00:44:35,483 And when he did this Rod, there was no 738 00:44:35,483 --> 00:44:36,803 reflex at this point. 739 00:44:36,803 --> 00:44:41,683 There was no air, there was no way that I knew it was it. 740 00:44:42,493 --> 00:44:43,513 I couldn't breathe. 741 00:44:44,513 --> 00:44:49,103 My lungs were collapsing, and I knew that was it. 742 00:44:50,103 --> 00:44:56,543 And again, at this point, I wanted to go it didn't matter. 743 00:44:56,543 --> 00:45:02,933 It wasn't like I wanted to stay and I saw Jesus standing, 744 00:45:03,353 --> 00:45:07,863 but I could only see up to his knee in his robe. 745 00:45:07,893 --> 00:45:12,703 And he had his hand reaching me, like, and I 746 00:45:12,703 --> 00:45:16,303 knew at this point that he can remove the hand. 747 00:45:16,648 --> 00:45:16,708 It. 748 00:45:17,218 --> 00:45:20,068 Like he can remove Sam's hand from my mouth 749 00:45:20,068 --> 00:45:21,448 and stop the process. 750 00:45:21,838 --> 00:45:23,578 But I didn't want him to do that. 751 00:45:23,578 --> 00:45:25,348 I didn't want him to go without me. 752 00:45:25,738 --> 00:45:28,528 And I'm now calling to him. 753 00:45:28,528 --> 00:45:32,108 I was actually singing to him in my mind and telling 754 00:45:32,108 --> 00:45:33,698 him, I don't wanna let go. 755 00:45:33,703 --> 00:45:34,253 Don't go. 756 00:45:34,483 --> 00:45:37,993 Like, I didn't want him to go without me, and I 757 00:45:37,993 --> 00:45:40,183 was ready to just die. 758 00:45:40,513 --> 00:45:45,513 And I was so afraid he would leave or have this guy, remove 759 00:45:45,513 --> 00:45:48,943 his hand, but he didn't. 760 00:45:49,213 --> 00:45:51,673 And I kept on going. 761 00:45:52,673 --> 00:45:59,028 And I remember looking back and it felt like, as if you 762 00:46:00,028 --> 00:46:02,958 take off a coat, a heavy coat, when you're moving 763 00:46:03,308 --> 00:46:07,428 to the other side, there isn't a division, like 764 00:46:07,428 --> 00:46:10,398 there isn't an end, and then there's a beginning. 765 00:46:10,518 --> 00:46:15,278 There isn't a feeling of, oh, I'm dead now, no 766 00:46:15,318 --> 00:46:16,493 you just keep on going. 767 00:46:16,493 --> 00:46:19,133 You don't realize that you are dead. 768 00:46:19,133 --> 00:46:21,353 You're like, look, and then when you look back on your 769 00:46:21,353 --> 00:46:24,983 body's back there, that's when you realize, oh, 770 00:46:25,193 --> 00:46:30,873 okay, but your spirit, your soul just keeps on going. 771 00:46:31,083 --> 00:46:35,313 And it's a very liberating feeling and beauty. 772 00:46:36,313 --> 00:46:43,503 And I remember the first thing I saw was white clouds 773 00:46:43,713 --> 00:46:47,463 that covered the sky and they were just the most 774 00:46:47,463 --> 00:46:49,923 beautiful white clouds ever. 775 00:46:50,223 --> 00:46:51,664 And then they opened up. 776 00:46:52,353 --> 00:46:58,503 And revealed the sky, but they revealed animals flying around 777 00:46:58,503 --> 00:47:02,553 the sky and these were animals I've never seen before. 778 00:47:02,583 --> 00:47:06,933 They were big animals flying and they were animals 779 00:47:06,933 --> 00:47:10,273 with multicolors colors you don't see on earth. 780 00:47:10,303 --> 00:47:15,283 They were just so bright and beautiful colors and they're 781 00:47:15,283 --> 00:47:23,823 flying, and I always compare them to the colors on the 782 00:47:23,823 --> 00:47:28,573 animals in the movie avatar that came out later that year. 783 00:47:29,573 --> 00:47:33,593 I remember being at the theater and seeing these 784 00:47:33,653 --> 00:47:38,753 animals fly, and right away I said somebody had a near 785 00:47:38,753 --> 00:47:42,893 death who had something to do with this movie directed 786 00:47:42,898 --> 00:47:46,193 or something, because these colors and the way 787 00:47:46,193 --> 00:47:50,153 these animals were flying was just what I had seen. 788 00:47:51,153 --> 00:47:57,693 And then I found myself at an open meadow just standing 789 00:47:57,693 --> 00:48:01,773 there and it was like beautiful greenery, just, I 790 00:48:01,773 --> 00:48:03,153 couldn't see the end of it. 791 00:48:03,933 --> 00:48:09,213 And from where I was standing, I saw they were rushing and 792 00:48:09,673 --> 00:48:11,383 preparing like a wedding. 793 00:48:11,713 --> 00:48:16,543 I could see a bride standing, but her back was to me, 794 00:48:17,543 --> 00:48:20,723 and they're preparing a wedding, excuse me. 795 00:48:21,723 --> 00:48:23,673 And I'm going, who is that? 796 00:48:23,763 --> 00:48:27,483 And I'm now, I'm thinking to myself, is this my wedding? 797 00:48:27,813 --> 00:48:30,853 Because in the Bible Christians, like, we're 798 00:48:30,853 --> 00:48:34,693 told that when we die, we are the brides of Jesus. 799 00:48:34,693 --> 00:48:37,873 So I'm thinking, oh, that's my wedding, but I wanna go see, 800 00:48:38,083 --> 00:48:40,213 I wanna go and see her face. 801 00:48:40,933 --> 00:48:44,883 And I'm trying to go there and somehow I couldn't 802 00:48:45,838 --> 00:48:48,448 get in front of the bride. 803 00:48:48,448 --> 00:48:50,908 So I couldn't see who it was. 804 00:48:51,808 --> 00:49:00,238 And I continued and I came to some kind of like a hallway. 805 00:49:00,268 --> 00:49:03,668 I went inside, there was a hallway and it 806 00:49:03,898 --> 00:49:08,158 was a long hallway and I started walking in it. 807 00:49:08,948 --> 00:49:12,848 And there's like beautiful beams or something like 808 00:49:13,238 --> 00:49:15,608 just, I don't know what they were made out of. 809 00:49:15,608 --> 00:49:20,568 And I'm walking and then I see this majestic chair, sitting 810 00:49:20,568 --> 00:49:26,808 there and it had a lady in it, but she had a veil. 811 00:49:27,108 --> 00:49:28,728 Over, not just her head. 812 00:49:28,758 --> 00:49:32,808 It was a veil from her covering her and the chair. 813 00:49:32,808 --> 00:49:35,538 So you couldn't, I couldn't see who it was, but I 814 00:49:35,538 --> 00:49:37,068 wanted to see who she was. 815 00:49:37,068 --> 00:49:39,378 And I'm looking, and I'm walking, but I'm 816 00:49:39,378 --> 00:49:42,038 trying to look to figure out who is that? 817 00:49:42,548 --> 00:49:44,668 And I couldn't figure it out. 818 00:49:45,488 --> 00:49:48,908 And I kept on walking, but there was somebody there 819 00:49:48,938 --> 00:49:53,708 that I managed to ask and I said, who is she? 820 00:49:54,398 --> 00:49:58,838 And his respond was, she's the blessed of all. 821 00:49:59,528 --> 00:50:02,408 And I just said, ah-huh. 822 00:50:02,708 --> 00:50:03,938 And I kept on walking. 823 00:50:03,938 --> 00:50:07,148 Like I didn't go back to try to see, I just kept on walking 824 00:50:08,148 --> 00:50:15,088 and I came upon another doorway and like an opening 825 00:50:15,088 --> 00:50:20,698 of a door something because I saw this spirit of light. 826 00:50:20,758 --> 00:50:25,708 It was a body of light at the entrance of this 827 00:50:25,708 --> 00:50:31,918 door, and immediately I recognized it was my mom. 828 00:50:32,918 --> 00:50:37,548 And there was no facial expressions. 829 00:50:37,578 --> 00:50:40,278 All it was, she was a body of light. 830 00:50:40,998 --> 00:50:45,198 But immediately I recognize we recognized each other. 831 00:50:45,198 --> 00:50:49,423 We knew who we are, and I don't remember 832 00:50:49,428 --> 00:50:50,623 hugging her or anything. 833 00:50:50,623 --> 00:50:54,763 I guess we don't hug up there, but it was just an 834 00:50:54,763 --> 00:50:58,003 overwhelming joy to see her. 835 00:50:58,003 --> 00:51:01,513 And she took me in and we kept on walking. 836 00:51:01,573 --> 00:51:05,523 She led me inside, an open area. 837 00:51:06,213 --> 00:51:10,263 And then in that open area, I saw my sister, 838 00:51:10,263 --> 00:51:12,828 Nadia come towards me. 839 00:51:12,828 --> 00:51:15,318 And again, and she was a body of light. 840 00:51:16,248 --> 00:51:22,228 And as soon as I saw Nadia, that was like joy on a 841 00:51:22,228 --> 00:51:27,538 different level because Nadia had committed suicide when she 842 00:51:27,538 --> 00:51:33,138 was 35 years old and she had fallen into a deep depression 843 00:51:34,138 --> 00:51:39,668 and wanted to go and meet Jesus and Dad because Dad 844 00:51:39,668 --> 00:51:43,838 had died of a car accident several years before that. 845 00:51:43,838 --> 00:51:45,788 And Nadia was very close to my dad. 846 00:51:46,788 --> 00:51:51,988 But in our church, and most churches, they say that 847 00:51:51,988 --> 00:51:56,768 suicide is an act of murder and you don't go to heaven. 848 00:51:57,768 --> 00:52:02,068 So I always wondered where she was. 849 00:52:03,048 --> 00:52:06,528 I knew she wanted to go meet Christ. 850 00:52:07,338 --> 00:52:11,538 But I didn't really know, and seeing her in heaven 851 00:52:11,838 --> 00:52:17,228 was the highlight that was on the other side. 852 00:52:18,228 --> 00:52:23,628 And here I am with Nadia and she ended up taking me 853 00:52:24,078 --> 00:52:28,038 and walking me into a room, and we left mom behind. 854 00:52:28,968 --> 00:52:31,578 And in that room, she's talking to me and I'm 855 00:52:31,578 --> 00:52:33,258 standing there with her. 856 00:52:33,888 --> 00:52:40,058 And all I could think about is I start complaining to her 857 00:52:40,898 --> 00:52:44,008 that I just have so much joy. 858 00:52:44,653 --> 00:52:46,723 That I can't contain it. 859 00:52:46,723 --> 00:52:50,803 I am so overwhelmed now of joy and I'm complaining about 860 00:52:50,833 --> 00:52:53,713 the overwhelming joy, and I don't know what to do with it. 861 00:52:53,713 --> 00:52:55,333 Like, how stupid is that? 862 00:52:55,348 --> 00:53:00,328 We complain about stress, but now it's too much joy and I'm 863 00:53:00,328 --> 00:53:02,748 going I can't take, I don't know what to do with it. 864 00:53:02,748 --> 00:53:06,418 It was so overwhelming, Rod. 865 00:53:06,478 --> 00:53:08,938 It's you just don't know what to do with it. 866 00:53:08,938 --> 00:53:15,172 It just kept, it's hard to explain that overwhelming 867 00:53:15,452 --> 00:53:19,892 joy to the point that you are just, it's hard to explain. 868 00:53:20,792 --> 00:53:24,122 And she looked at me and smiled and she said, 869 00:53:24,122 --> 00:53:26,622 Ana, with Jesus, it keeps on getting better. 870 00:53:27,122 --> 00:53:30,422 And I said, I couldn't comprehend. 871 00:53:30,782 --> 00:53:33,287 How could it get better? 872 00:53:33,347 --> 00:53:36,197 Like I'm already at the maximum. 873 00:53:36,247 --> 00:53:38,587 I can't imagine it getting better. 874 00:53:39,427 --> 00:53:43,777 And we both walked out and as we walked out next 875 00:53:43,777 --> 00:53:48,458 to mom was my father, and he was standing there. 876 00:53:48,967 --> 00:53:50,767 And again, he was a spirit. 877 00:53:51,397 --> 00:53:53,047 He was a body of light. 878 00:53:54,037 --> 00:53:58,487 And seeing him was a different level of joy. 879 00:53:58,487 --> 00:54:03,227 And I'm standing there with my dad, mom and Nadia, 880 00:54:04,227 --> 00:54:08,047 and just, I don't know how we're communicating, 881 00:54:08,047 --> 00:54:09,607 but we're communicating. 882 00:54:10,447 --> 00:54:13,237 And Nadia says, hurry up you guys. 883 00:54:13,242 --> 00:54:14,457 We have a banquet with Jesus. 884 00:54:15,457 --> 00:54:20,397 And I'm going, we're having a ban, like she said, it in 885 00:54:20,397 --> 00:54:23,997 such a simple, as a matter of fact kind of thing, like 886 00:54:23,997 --> 00:54:26,487 it's not a big deal, we're just going to a banquet. 887 00:54:26,877 --> 00:54:29,367 And to me it was like, we're having a banquet with 888 00:54:29,367 --> 00:54:31,257 Jesus, like, just like that. 889 00:54:31,267 --> 00:54:32,257 Are you kidding me? 890 00:54:33,037 --> 00:54:34,777 And they said yeah, let's go. 891 00:54:35,397 --> 00:54:40,277 And they started going and for some reason 892 00:54:40,337 --> 00:54:41,717 I didn't follow them. 893 00:54:42,717 --> 00:54:47,187 And I found myself going to another room. 894 00:54:48,187 --> 00:54:52,117 And in that room at the end of the room, there was somebody 895 00:54:52,122 --> 00:54:57,587 standing there and that person was not a body of light. 896 00:54:58,217 --> 00:55:03,707 I recognized him and he was the late Pope Corollas 897 00:55:03,707 --> 00:55:10,557 who was like a late Coptic Orthodox pope who was very 898 00:55:10,557 --> 00:55:14,607 sweet and kind and humble and everybody loved him. 899 00:55:15,147 --> 00:55:20,877 And he was standing there and I'm looking at 900 00:55:20,877 --> 00:55:24,777 him and he goes, child, where have you been? 901 00:55:25,647 --> 00:55:29,107 And I'm going, like, and I'm looking around, 902 00:55:29,517 --> 00:55:30,297 is he talking to me? 903 00:55:30,297 --> 00:55:31,767 Like, he was like, scolding you. 904 00:55:31,767 --> 00:55:32,787 Like, where have you been? 905 00:55:33,087 --> 00:55:39,677 And I'm going I've been going to Calvary Church. 906 00:55:40,427 --> 00:55:44,057 And because once I married the Muslim, I 907 00:55:44,057 --> 00:55:45,777 couldn't, we couldn't go to the Coptic church. 908 00:55:46,097 --> 00:55:51,237 So we went to Calvary and he goes, why child? 909 00:55:51,237 --> 00:55:51,807 Why? 910 00:55:52,557 --> 00:55:58,017 And I said, well, I did not see acceptance 911 00:55:58,077 --> 00:55:59,997 in the Coptic church. 912 00:56:00,002 --> 00:56:02,307 And and I'm struggling with words here. 913 00:56:02,967 --> 00:56:08,142 And he goes, And I said, acceptance and kindness. 914 00:56:09,142 --> 00:56:12,472 And he looks at me, he goes, child, what is your name? 915 00:56:13,222 --> 00:56:17,662 And he was saying it in a rhetorical way and I responded 916 00:56:17,812 --> 00:56:21,632 with my Egyptian name, which is not, an Ana 917 00:56:21,652 --> 00:56:22,912 Christina's my pen name. 918 00:56:23,912 --> 00:56:26,792 And I said my Egyptian name. 919 00:56:27,422 --> 00:56:29,282 And he goes, what does it mean, child? 920 00:56:30,372 --> 00:56:35,682 And I look at him and I say, my name meant 921 00:56:35,892 --> 00:56:37,842 tenderness and kindness. 922 00:56:38,842 --> 00:56:43,522 And he goes, child you are looking outside for this, but 923 00:56:43,582 --> 00:56:45,982 we, but you are what we need. 924 00:56:46,192 --> 00:56:48,302 Hurry up child, hurry up child. 925 00:56:48,322 --> 00:56:49,342 There's no time. 926 00:56:49,402 --> 00:56:50,452 There is no time. 927 00:56:50,692 --> 00:56:55,012 And he started kicking me out and he just kicked me out. 928 00:56:55,672 --> 00:57:00,142 And as I'm moving out, I go back on the hallway and 929 00:57:00,442 --> 00:57:05,032 I see the majestic chair again, but this time it's 930 00:57:05,062 --> 00:57:06,952 empty and the veil is on it. 931 00:57:07,192 --> 00:57:09,442 So I ask somebody, where did she go? 932 00:57:09,772 --> 00:57:12,682 And they say, she went on an errand. 933 00:57:13,342 --> 00:57:17,032 And I keep on walking fast, like they're rushing me out. 934 00:57:17,572 --> 00:57:23,612 And as I'm rushing out, a face reveals himself to me. 935 00:57:24,612 --> 00:57:28,902 And this time it was the face of Jesus. 936 00:57:29,902 --> 00:57:33,382 But he was revealing it slowly, like it 937 00:57:33,382 --> 00:57:35,012 was, here is his face. 938 00:57:35,017 --> 00:57:38,652 But it was like being revealed that. 939 00:57:39,132 --> 00:57:42,222 And I remember it took a long time for him 940 00:57:42,312 --> 00:57:43,722 to reveal his nose. 941 00:57:43,722 --> 00:57:44,742 He had a long nose. 942 00:57:45,282 --> 00:57:47,862 And in my mind, I'm going, you're Jewish, aren't you? 943 00:57:47,862 --> 00:57:50,892 And I'm stereotyping here and he's just smiling. 944 00:57:51,702 --> 00:57:54,322 And I saw his whole face. 945 00:57:55,322 --> 00:58:01,702 Now I was in awe seeing his face, but at the same time, 946 00:58:02,092 --> 00:58:07,672 it wasn't the face I grew up with thinking was Jesus' face. 947 00:58:07,942 --> 00:58:11,632 I grew up thinking Jesus looked like Jesus of 948 00:58:11,632 --> 00:58:16,192 Nazareth, the green or blue eyes, that pretty boy. 949 00:58:16,792 --> 00:58:18,262 And he wasn't a pretty boy. 950 00:58:18,472 --> 00:58:23,202 He had more of a rugged face like the olive skin, a 951 00:58:23,202 --> 00:58:26,512 more middle Eastern figure. 952 00:58:27,202 --> 00:58:33,387 And I'm thinking to myself, He it was embarrassing because 953 00:58:33,387 --> 00:58:35,907 I'm thinking to myself, he's not as pretty as I thought, 954 00:58:35,907 --> 00:58:38,847 or he's not as handsome as I thought, and I'm trying 955 00:58:38,847 --> 00:58:42,177 to stop the thinking because I know he could read my 956 00:58:42,177 --> 00:58:44,457 thing and I didn't wanna hurt his feelings, so I'm 957 00:58:44,457 --> 00:58:51,297 just trying to stop it and like, that was not cool. 958 00:58:51,997 --> 00:58:58,327 But then I saw myself on top of the freeway, 959 00:58:58,537 --> 00:58:59,587 out of nowhere. 960 00:58:59,887 --> 00:59:01,027 I'm out of there. 961 00:59:01,027 --> 00:59:05,377 I'm on the other side now and I'm looking down on the 962 00:59:05,382 --> 00:59:10,267 freeway and I was where the five freeway, we have a five 963 00:59:10,267 --> 00:59:12,067 freeway and a 4 0 5 freeway. 964 00:59:12,067 --> 00:59:14,887 They come together and they're called the Y And 965 00:59:14,887 --> 00:59:21,207 I'm watching this and I'm seeing the earth as so dry 966 00:59:21,267 --> 00:59:22,537 compared to where I was. 967 00:59:23,807 --> 00:59:28,982 Then I see my bedroom and Sam is lying there. 968 00:59:29,192 --> 00:59:33,032 He's on the bed and he finally got my body next 969 00:59:33,032 --> 00:59:37,142 to him and he has me next to him and he's holding me. 970 00:59:37,802 --> 00:59:42,002 And whether he's crying or what, like as if he's sad 971 00:59:42,002 --> 00:59:44,373 now that he killed me, he's sad and he's holding me. 972 00:59:45,373 --> 00:59:51,763 And as soon as I went back in my body, I jumped from his 973 00:59:51,768 --> 00:59:55,063 ha arms because I couldn't stand him touching me. 974 00:59:55,063 --> 00:59:58,393 So right away I jumped and I stood in front of 975 00:59:58,393 --> 01:00:01,523 him at the end of the bed and I'm standing there. 976 01:00:01,783 --> 01:00:04,783 I was still naked, but I'm standing there looking at 977 01:00:04,783 --> 01:00:09,853 him and the look on his face Rod, like I still 978 01:00:10,303 --> 01:00:14,323 feel, I wish I had cameras in that room because it was 979 01:00:14,383 --> 01:00:19,313 priceless to see his face and see me at this point. 980 01:00:19,813 --> 01:00:22,033 But it was great coming back. 981 01:00:23,033 --> 01:00:24,473 And that's it. 982 01:00:24,473 --> 01:00:25,943 I was on the other side. 983 01:00:25,948 --> 01:00:26,763 They kicked me out. 984 01:00:27,703 --> 01:00:28,683 It wasn't my time. 985 01:00:29,683 --> 01:00:33,503 That is an unbelievable, excuse me, that is an 986 01:00:33,503 --> 01:00:34,253 unbelievable story. 987 01:00:34,803 --> 01:00:38,283 Firstly, I just wanna say your bravery in telling that 988 01:00:38,288 --> 01:00:41,368 story the whole thing, you could easily leave parts out, 989 01:00:41,373 --> 01:00:43,858 but I've just acknowledged your bravery in doing that. 990 01:00:43,858 --> 01:00:46,348 And I think that other people who have had similar 991 01:00:46,348 --> 01:00:49,638 experiences will, gain a lot of comfort from knowing, well, 992 01:00:49,638 --> 01:00:51,633 I'm not the only one that this has happened to, but it's 993 01:00:52,633 --> 01:00:54,373 the fact that you're still a functioning human being 994 01:00:54,378 --> 01:00:55,543 after going through all that. 995 01:00:55,543 --> 01:00:57,133 I just, if I had a 996 01:00:57,133 --> 01:00:58,273 hat, I would take it off to you. 997 01:00:58,273 --> 01:00:59,108 It's unbelievable. 998 01:01:00,098 --> 01:01:03,118 Okay, listen we are actually running outta time we talked 999 01:01:03,118 --> 01:01:03,928 about this at the beginning. 1000 01:01:03,928 --> 01:01:06,968 I have so many other questions, but I think 1001 01:01:06,968 --> 01:01:09,828 what may be better is that we'll have you back on the 1002 01:01:10,098 --> 01:01:12,948 livestream and then that will be an opportunity 1003 01:01:13,098 --> 01:01:14,418 for other people to ask questions as well. 1004 01:01:14,418 --> 01:01:16,698 And I have several more that I wanted to ask you. 1005 01:01:17,238 --> 01:01:20,508 What, the first one is some people are gonna want to reach 1006 01:01:20,508 --> 01:01:22,068 out and ask questions to you. 1007 01:01:22,518 --> 01:01:24,488 And is that something that you're open to? 1008 01:01:24,488 --> 01:01:26,788 Do you have the facility for that or how would 1009 01:01:26,878 --> 01:01:27,958 you like to handle that? 1010 01:01:27,987 --> 01:01:29,697 Yeah, they can ask me questions. 1011 01:01:29,697 --> 01:01:34,077 Well, they can go to my website, anachristina.net, and 1012 01:01:34,077 --> 01:01:35,757 there's a way to contact me. 1013 01:01:35,757 --> 01:01:37,347 Sometimes you can chat with me. 1014 01:01:38,037 --> 01:01:41,487 I don't wanna say buying the book because I know you are 1015 01:01:41,492 --> 01:01:45,342 in Netherland and it's not easy maybe to get the book. 1016 01:01:45,342 --> 01:01:49,992 Hopefully there's electronic books that they're so 1017 01:01:49,992 --> 01:01:53,322 cheap, like maybe $2 and 99 cents, something like that. 1018 01:01:53,512 --> 01:01:54,012 I think 1019 01:01:54,012 --> 01:01:54,702 it's on Amazon. 1020 01:01:54,822 --> 01:01:56,172 I'll put a link in the show notes. 1021 01:01:56,172 --> 01:01:56,862 I'm pretty sure 1022 01:01:56,892 --> 01:02:00,792 yeah, it's through Amazon and they can access it 1023 01:02:00,792 --> 01:02:03,132 and get the whole story. 1024 01:02:03,432 --> 01:02:07,632 But if they can't do that, they can contact me and 1025 01:02:07,632 --> 01:02:09,132 I'll answer questions. 1026 01:02:09,552 --> 01:02:09,882 Okay. 1027 01:02:09,882 --> 01:02:10,182 great. 1028 01:02:10,572 --> 01:02:13,372 And before we wrap up today's conversation do you have 1029 01:02:13,372 --> 01:02:15,322 any last message for people? 1030 01:02:16,322 --> 01:02:16,542 Yes. 1031 01:02:17,542 --> 01:02:18,082 I do. 1032 01:02:19,082 --> 01:02:22,922 It's the message of the comforter. 1033 01:02:23,922 --> 01:02:31,432 Do not wait to, until you are on your deathbed to discover 1034 01:02:31,432 --> 01:02:33,262 him like I discovered him. 1035 01:02:33,502 --> 01:02:34,522 It'll be too late. 1036 01:02:35,522 --> 01:02:40,862 We have a sweet spirit living with us and counseling us, 1037 01:02:40,867 --> 01:02:42,902 and he doesn't come and go. 1038 01:02:42,902 --> 01:02:45,932 He's like, like he told me in every little 1039 01:02:45,932 --> 01:02:47,012 detail of our life. 1040 01:02:48,012 --> 01:02:50,352 But what we have to do is acknowledge him. 1041 01:02:50,592 --> 01:02:52,862 So a lot of people send me and say, well, how 1042 01:02:52,862 --> 01:02:54,362 do we connect with him? 1043 01:02:54,512 --> 01:02:58,632 Just start by acknowledging him and once you start 1044 01:02:58,632 --> 01:03:01,212 acknowledging him, the relationship starts. 1045 01:03:01,212 --> 01:03:06,022 So that's what I would like everybody to hope, 1046 01:03:06,022 --> 01:03:10,102 like I wanna say it as loud as possible about 1047 01:03:10,202 --> 01:03:11,342 the friend that we have. 1048 01:03:12,032 --> 01:03:14,822 He's like, Casper, the friendly ghost. 1049 01:03:14,822 --> 01:03:17,612 I don't know if you guys are aware of that, but he's 1050 01:03:17,612 --> 01:03:19,442 there and no one can see him. 1051 01:03:19,442 --> 01:03:21,662 It doesn't mean he's not there. 1052 01:03:21,662 --> 01:03:23,522 So take advantage of him. 1053 01:03:23,522 --> 01:03:24,542 He's so sweet. 1054 01:03:24,752 --> 01:03:27,182 And he is the true soulmate. 1055 01:03:27,302 --> 01:03:28,542 He's been my best friend. 1056 01:03:29,432 --> 01:03:30,062 He's been my buddy. 1057 01:03:30,612 --> 01:03:34,372 He knows everything about me and he will know everything. 1058 01:03:34,432 --> 01:03:37,132 He knows everything about you, so utilize him. 1059 01:03:37,582 --> 01:03:38,542 He's just sweet. 1060 01:03:39,542 --> 01:03:41,132 Well, Ana, thank you for that message. 1061 01:03:41,162 --> 01:03:43,442 I'm looking forward to continuing this conversation 1062 01:03:43,772 --> 01:03:46,982 and thank you for being a guest and allowing me 1063 01:03:46,982 --> 01:03:47,912 to interview you today. 1064 01:03:47,912 --> 01:03:48,722 I really appreciate it. 1065 01:03:49,592 --> 01:03:50,913 Thank you Rod, for having me. 1066 01:03:51,192 --> 01:03:52,232 Take care.