WEBVTT NOTE This file was generated by Descript 00:00:01.389 --> 00:00:05.349 Hey, this is Mark Butler and you are listening to a podcast for coaches. 00:00:06.189 --> 00:00:11.529 I want to start today's episode with a quote from a philosopher kind of guy. 00:00:11.620 --> 00:00:13.389 He's a Silicon Valley philosopher. 00:00:13.390 --> 00:00:17.149 If you can tolerate that definition or that label, his name is Naval 00:00:17.149 --> 00:00:22.300 Ravikant and among tech nerds and tech bros and venture capital types and 00:00:23.259 --> 00:00:28.399 San Francisco nerdy types, a group of people, by the way, that I can 00:00:28.399 --> 00:00:29.780 appreciate, and I consume their work. 00:00:29.780 --> 00:00:31.910 And I love Naval Ravikant. 00:00:31.959 --> 00:00:33.610 I think this is a very interesting guy. 00:00:34.750 --> 00:00:39.269 I want to share this quote that I think relates to us as coaches, 00:00:39.279 --> 00:00:42.170 although it may not be immediately obvious why here's this quote. 00:00:42.819 --> 00:00:45.149 And he's addressing this to technology founders. 00:00:46.360 --> 00:00:48.890 You're doing sales because you failed at marketing. 00:00:49.689 --> 00:00:52.270 You're doing marketing because you failed at product. 00:00:52.679 --> 00:00:54.030 This is classic Naval. 00:00:54.679 --> 00:01:00.569 Naval is reductive and pithy and very quotable. 00:01:00.619 --> 00:01:02.840 You're doing sales because you failed at marketing. 00:01:02.859 --> 00:01:05.209 You're doing marketing because you failed at product. 00:01:07.190 --> 00:01:10.680 I just went and perused Reddit to see what people thought of this quote. 00:01:10.820 --> 00:01:14.490 And there's a whole subreddit of people who heard this quote from 00:01:14.490 --> 00:01:16.360 Naval and they're very angry about it. 00:01:17.360 --> 00:01:19.180 Of course you have to do sales and marketing. 00:01:19.180 --> 00:01:21.830 It's so naive and ridiculous to think that your product would ever 00:01:21.830 --> 00:01:26.200 be so good that you don't have to promote it in order for it to succeed. 00:01:27.230 --> 00:01:28.490 And I agree with them. 00:01:29.540 --> 00:01:32.430 But that doesn't make the quote less compelling. 00:01:32.850 --> 00:01:37.480 It's this caricature of an idea that especially for us as coaches can be 00:01:37.480 --> 00:01:41.320 so powerful because now consider this. 00:01:41.759 --> 00:01:46.050 My hypothesis is that as coaches, we are the product. 00:01:47.629 --> 00:01:48.439 You are the product. 00:01:48.449 --> 00:01:49.439 The product is you. 00:01:49.669 --> 00:01:54.282 When someone signs up for coaching with you, sessions may be the vehicle 00:01:54.282 --> 00:01:57.019 through which the product is delivered. 00:01:57.069 --> 00:01:59.779 You may have a specific modality that you believe in a specific 00:01:59.789 --> 00:02:04.949 model or framework that you use, but those are all delivery mechanisms. 00:02:05.459 --> 00:02:06.449 They're not the product. 00:02:06.699 --> 00:02:10.019 The thing, the person is actually purchasing is you. 00:02:11.579 --> 00:02:16.309 And what Neval is teaching me is if I have to sell myself, it's because I 00:02:16.309 --> 00:02:18.019 wasn't good enough at marketing myself. 00:02:18.309 --> 00:02:21.519 And if I have to market myself, it's because I haven't been good enough 00:02:21.829 --> 00:02:24.649 at developing myself as a product. 00:02:25.559 --> 00:02:28.369 I completely understand that this framing could be off putting to people. 00:02:28.379 --> 00:02:29.509 I totally get it. 00:02:31.579 --> 00:02:33.709 I'm not talking about commoditizing ourselves. 00:02:33.999 --> 00:02:39.779 I'm talking about developing ourselves into such a compelling person that that 00:02:39.779 --> 00:02:44.449 person as a product doesn't have to be aggressively marketed and it definitely 00:02:44.449 --> 00:02:46.429 doesn't have to be aggressively sold. 00:02:47.354 --> 00:02:54.024 My thesis for the episode is success as a coach is less about being very good 00:02:54.024 --> 00:03:00.104 at sales and less about being very good at marketing and more about developing 00:03:00.104 --> 00:03:04.344 ourselves as individuals such that we become so appealing, attractive, 00:03:04.364 --> 00:03:08.404 and magnetic to other human beings that we don't really have to think in 00:03:08.404 --> 00:03:11.154 terms of marketing and sales anymore. 00:03:12.414 --> 00:03:17.804 Now, whether or not that's absolutely practically true to me is not important. 00:03:18.434 --> 00:03:24.584 What's important is the way it anchors me to the idea that if I work on myself, 00:03:24.984 --> 00:03:31.324 if I develop my character, if I develop my positive attributes, and if I do 00:03:31.324 --> 00:03:33.144 that over an extended period of time. 00:03:34.339 --> 00:03:38.409 that my own personal development will do the job of keeping 00:03:38.409 --> 00:03:40.059 my coaching practice full, 00:03:40.999 --> 00:03:42.789 this is kind of a good news, bad news scenario. 00:03:43.889 --> 00:03:49.059 The good news is it puts my emphasis on who I am becoming 00:03:49.129 --> 00:03:51.089 as opposed to what I am doing. 00:03:51.089 --> 00:03:54.079 And I think that's a great plan for becoming a happier and happier person. 00:03:55.339 --> 00:04:01.839 It takes my focus and my energy off of what I know and what I do, and it puts 00:04:01.839 --> 00:04:05.089 it onto who I am and who I am becoming. 00:04:06.179 --> 00:04:07.319 It's good news. 00:04:07.619 --> 00:04:11.819 It should be a relief to think it's not about the next marketing tactic. 00:04:11.859 --> 00:04:14.913 It's not about the perfect way to overcome objections. 00:04:15.643 --> 00:04:17.961 It's not about the structure of my sales calls. 00:04:18.591 --> 00:04:21.761 It's not about how often I post on social media or don't. 00:04:22.046 --> 00:04:24.936 Or how many newsletters I send or don't, it's not about 00:04:24.936 --> 00:04:26.186 the length of my newsletters. 00:04:26.386 --> 00:04:29.556 It's not about the number of emails in my launch sequence. 00:04:30.046 --> 00:04:34.836 It's not about the modality that I use, the certifications I have, except 00:04:34.866 --> 00:04:41.936 in the way those things reflect and express my character, my way of being, 00:04:42.296 --> 00:04:43.286 that's the good news. 00:04:44.726 --> 00:04:50.366 The bad news is that even as I say that, even as I talk about. 00:04:51.526 --> 00:04:55.596 Wanting my character and my way of being to be the thing that drive the 00:04:55.596 --> 00:05:00.246 business forward that attract coaching clients to me the little voice in my 00:05:00.246 --> 00:05:05.966 head Does start to talk into a megaphone and say what do you think you are? 00:05:06.546 --> 00:05:11.686 Who are you to actually get up in front of the audience and say it's character 00:05:11.686 --> 00:05:18.171 that counts As though my character is in some way complete or faultless the 00:05:18.171 --> 00:05:23.801 scary thing about a character driven perspective on filling a coaching practice 00:05:23.801 --> 00:05:28.791 is that it will turn the focus Toward ourselves and then the question becomes 00:05:29.151 --> 00:05:31.751 can we bear the weight of that focus? 00:05:32.451 --> 00:05:33.561 Are we comfortable there? 00:05:34.826 --> 00:05:38.606 Are we comfortable taking a look and saying, where is my character 00:05:39.046 --> 00:05:41.626 relative to where I want it to be? 00:05:43.196 --> 00:05:44.796 I have a new year's resolution this year. 00:05:45.616 --> 00:05:47.436 We're a quarter of the way through the year. 00:05:48.076 --> 00:05:50.196 I still have this resolution in my mind every day. 00:05:51.096 --> 00:05:54.546 And the resolution is to tell the truth or at least not lie. 00:05:55.606 --> 00:05:58.066 Which I lifted directly from a book called 12 rules for life 00:05:58.066 --> 00:05:59.336 by a guy named Jordan Peterson. 00:06:00.456 --> 00:06:02.686 I want to become an honest person. 00:06:02.726 --> 00:06:04.146 I want to tell myself the truth. 00:06:04.186 --> 00:06:05.696 I want to tell other people the truth. 00:06:06.306 --> 00:06:11.676 And it turns out that when you give yourself that goal, if you spend time 00:06:11.676 --> 00:06:17.971 with it, you will start to see How much deception is, well, maybe not you. 00:06:18.041 --> 00:06:19.261 I'll just speak for myself. 00:06:19.531 --> 00:06:24.471 I have seen that there are a lot of untruths in my life. 00:06:25.571 --> 00:06:26.631 The big pieces are there. 00:06:26.631 --> 00:06:27.421 Of course. 00:06:27.661 --> 00:06:30.761 I think I'm good to my family. 00:06:31.141 --> 00:06:33.751 I have integrity in the way that I interact with my coaching clients. 00:06:34.861 --> 00:06:38.321 But when you run things through the lens of, am I being honest? 00:06:38.351 --> 00:06:44.281 Am I telling the whole truth above all to myself about this situation? 00:06:44.281 --> 00:06:47.471 You will find yourself having some uncomfortable discoveries. 00:06:47.651 --> 00:06:48.311 Well I did. 00:06:48.421 --> 00:06:50.341 I have made some uncomfortable discoveries. 00:06:50.341 --> 00:06:55.641 But that's part of a character focused perspective on 00:06:55.641 --> 00:06:56.991 filling a coaching practice. 00:06:57.391 --> 00:06:59.611 It's not then that we have to be perfect. 00:06:59.621 --> 00:07:05.781 It's not then that we can't start until we've completely evolved as human beings. 00:07:06.331 --> 00:07:10.331 It's that we make that the trajectory of our lives and of our 00:07:10.331 --> 00:07:14.811 coaching practices where we are trying to become better people. 00:07:14.811 --> 00:07:18.651 And as we become better people, we of course, reap all the rewards of 00:07:18.651 --> 00:07:20.391 that improvement in our character. 00:07:20.391 --> 00:07:25.111 The least exciting of which is a full and thriving coaching practice. 00:07:25.991 --> 00:07:30.301 But we also end up with a full and thriving coaching practice 00:07:31.261 --> 00:07:35.261 Our way of being makes our character evident. 00:07:36.141 --> 00:07:38.941 And I think that is a harder path to choose. 00:07:39.121 --> 00:07:40.591 And I think that's the bad news. 00:07:40.801 --> 00:07:44.341 At the very least, I think it's short term harder, long term easier, but 00:07:44.341 --> 00:07:49.611 the short term difficulty can be significant because it's more fun and 00:07:49.611 --> 00:07:54.561 more interesting to buy courses about marketing and sales tactics, to have 00:07:54.581 --> 00:07:56.471 conversations about business models. 00:07:57.511 --> 00:08:01.491 To discuss whether 24 sessions is the right number or 18 00:08:01.491 --> 00:08:02.661 sessions is the right number. 00:08:02.951 --> 00:08:04.631 And what should my hourly rate be? 00:08:04.851 --> 00:08:07.211 And what's my niche and et cetera, and et cetera. 00:08:07.871 --> 00:08:10.411 It's not that I don't want to have any of those conversations. 00:08:10.411 --> 00:08:16.241 This podcast is those conversations, but I want the foundation of every other 00:08:16.241 --> 00:08:18.711 conversation to be, who am I becoming? 00:08:19.761 --> 00:08:24.321 And as I am becoming that thing, whatever that is, whatever, whatever character 00:08:24.321 --> 00:08:29.136 I aspire to, Does that aspiration and that pursuit make me more appealing, 00:08:29.136 --> 00:08:34.096 more attractive and more useful to my current and future coaching clients? 00:08:34.986 --> 00:08:40.636 So I'm starting there, I'm starting with what is the nature of my character and how 00:08:40.636 --> 00:08:45.886 can I improve that character in service of above all family, friends, community, 00:08:45.886 --> 00:08:48.571 and secondarily, Coaching practice. 00:08:49.471 --> 00:08:51.591 If that's my goal, what are the downstream consequences? 00:08:51.591 --> 00:08:56.211 Well, I think one of the downstream consequences is that you'll 00:08:56.211 --> 00:08:59.771 see working on yourself as your fundamental business strategy 00:09:00.931 --> 00:09:04.991 This means I'm not looking at myself negatively and critically. 00:09:05.051 --> 00:09:09.631 I'm looking at myself and saying, what can I do to develop and 00:09:09.631 --> 00:09:11.631 improve my character today? 00:09:12.231 --> 00:09:15.021 It includes an acknowledgment of how I've already developed my character 00:09:16.341 --> 00:09:21.711 It's built I hope on an acknowledgment that you're a good person You've 00:09:21.711 --> 00:09:26.741 done great things you make a good faith effort in your relationships 00:09:27.181 --> 00:09:28.801 I'm taking all of that as given. 00:09:29.101 --> 00:09:32.881 Now if that isn't given, great, you've got a starting point for that too. 00:09:33.681 --> 00:09:34.751 You can course correct. 00:09:35.131 --> 00:09:40.311 We can all course correct, but this self analysis, the self reflection can 00:09:40.311 --> 00:09:45.331 be built on first and acknowledgement that, you know what, I'm a good person. 00:09:46.201 --> 00:09:51.301 I'm a good person who wants to grow, who wants to find my character 00:09:51.301 --> 00:09:54.041 flaws and heal and work them out. 00:09:55.021 --> 00:09:57.971 Another downstream effect will be that you'll look at training 00:09:57.971 --> 00:10:02.261 opportunities and training experiences and communities and memberships. 00:10:02.651 --> 00:10:06.881 And instead of looking at them for their tactical benefit, which I've 00:10:06.881 --> 00:10:10.091 done a lot, by the way, I'll look at a community and I'll say, I'm 00:10:10.091 --> 00:10:11.421 only going to join that community. 00:10:11.421 --> 00:10:15.361 If I think that there are clients for me in there, I'm basically client 00:10:15.361 --> 00:10:16.861 hunting by joining that community. 00:10:16.891 --> 00:10:22.411 Um, I now want to take a different perspective on community and on training. 00:10:23.081 --> 00:10:26.031 If I'm looking at a training or I'm looking at some sort of mastermind or 00:10:26.031 --> 00:10:31.231 membership, whatever it is, I want to look at it as something that can help me 00:10:31.461 --> 00:10:39.501 develop my character, improve my way of being, not give me some new tactic that 00:10:39.501 --> 00:10:42.041 will have temporary benefit at best. 00:10:43.011 --> 00:10:48.201 This is a much stronger lens through which to consider any and every 00:10:48.201 --> 00:10:49.621 opportunity we have as coaches, 00:10:50.691 --> 00:10:52.211 another downstream effect of this. 00:10:52.911 --> 00:10:57.631 And the one that I think I'm most excited about for my fellow coaches who 00:10:57.631 --> 00:11:02.261 want to fill a coaching practice and be of service and make a great living 00:11:03.411 --> 00:11:08.371 is that as we move from a tactical view to a character view, or from a 00:11:08.371 --> 00:11:10.871 knowledge view to a character view. 00:11:12.571 --> 00:11:18.791 It sets us up to have everything we do in marketing and in sales Become more 00:11:18.801 --> 00:11:24.081 congruent with what we do in coaching Because if my my whole strategy if 00:11:24.081 --> 00:11:28.831 my whole approach to business is based more around Who I am and how 00:11:28.881 --> 00:11:36.151 I am Then specifically what I do in any given context Then I don't have 00:11:36.151 --> 00:11:42.211 to reorient the client to my way of being at each successive step. 00:11:42.701 --> 00:11:43.521 That's a mouthful. 00:11:43.531 --> 00:11:44.281 Here's what I mean. 00:11:46.381 --> 00:11:51.531 If I view myself as the product, then I know that all my marketing 00:11:51.531 --> 00:11:56.551 and my sales have to do is give the person I'm trying to serve an 00:11:56.551 --> 00:11:58.901 opportunity to experience the product. 00:11:59.461 --> 00:12:04.261 And I want them to experience it in a way that feels smooth 00:12:04.261 --> 00:12:06.231 and congruent at every step. 00:12:06.871 --> 00:12:09.701 I don't want them to ever have the thought, oh, he's very different 00:12:09.711 --> 00:12:13.701 in his content than he is in his quote unquote sales interactions. 00:12:13.961 --> 00:12:15.811 And he's very different in his coaching. 00:12:16.421 --> 00:12:19.521 Then he is in his sales interactions or in his content. 00:12:20.541 --> 00:12:25.731 I think it's very dysregulating for coaches to have the sense that they're 00:12:25.741 --> 00:12:28.861 being one way in their marketing and sales and a different way in their 00:12:28.861 --> 00:12:33.201 coaching, or that they think they need to, that sales and marketing 00:12:33.201 --> 00:12:36.871 are such a different activity that I have to be one way over there. 00:12:37.241 --> 00:12:40.461 And then when I actually get into coaching, oh, now I get 00:12:40.461 --> 00:12:43.021 to be who I want to be because coaching is a different thing. 00:12:43.591 --> 00:12:44.591 No, it's not. 00:12:44.821 --> 00:12:47.841 If you are the product and your primary focus is raising 00:12:47.851 --> 00:12:49.621 your character to another level 00:12:50.351 --> 00:12:53.981 and then all you're doing in your marketing and your content and your sales 00:12:53.981 --> 00:12:58.461 processes are expressing that character and allowing people to experience it. 00:12:59.831 --> 00:13:03.901 Then they will feel the same way consuming your newsletter or podcast or social 00:13:03.901 --> 00:13:08.561 media post that they do in whatever conversation you have before you start 00:13:08.561 --> 00:13:14.211 the official coaching relationship that they do in the actual coaching experience. 00:13:15.251 --> 00:13:19.581 It makes it so instead of having to wear multiple hats, you just take 00:13:19.581 --> 00:13:22.501 off all the hats and you just be you. 00:13:23.561 --> 00:13:25.341 I don't know if this is too philosophical. 00:13:25.371 --> 00:13:26.941 I don't know if it's too abstract. 00:13:27.141 --> 00:13:32.991 But it certainly sounds more appealing and easier to me to say my job is to 00:13:32.991 --> 00:13:37.901 become a better person and to trust that as I become a better person 00:13:37.901 --> 00:13:42.561 and as I develop my character, as I improve my ability in sharing myself, 00:13:43.611 --> 00:13:49.748 that the coaching transactions will take care of themselves and that the business 00:13:49.748 --> 00:13:56.412 will feel completely congruent With my way of being my preferred way of being, 00:13:57.362 --> 00:14:00.792 Give that some thought as you listen to podcasts, as you read sales copy, 00:14:00.792 --> 00:14:06.192 as you look at programs and courses, as you consider how your coaching practice 00:14:06.192 --> 00:14:11.322 fits in with the rest of your life, just consider the possibility that if you 00:14:11.322 --> 00:14:16.092 make your own character development, your primary business strategy, 00:14:16.942 --> 00:14:17.872 you'll be happier. 00:14:17.902 --> 00:14:18.912 You'll be healthier. 00:14:20.242 --> 00:14:22.692 Your business will be more enjoyable and easier. 00:14:24.262 --> 00:14:28.322 That's the hypothesis that I'm very curious about today. 00:14:29.752 --> 00:14:30.892 And I'll talk to you next time.