(upbeat music)
Welcome to Sean and Meghan's Date Night.
Hmm, I just,
(laughs)
yeah, that's the sign that
I'm gonna say this again.
(laughs)
On some pain medication
for the next few days.
You know what?
We missed a huge opportunity there.
Why?
It would have been our highest rated.
Pun intended.
Cause I would have been high as a kite.
Yeah, yeah.
A 45 minute monologue for you.
So I'm just throwing it to Meghan.
What do you think about that, Megs?
Just, yeah.
Legend, wait for it.
I hope you're not lactose intolerant.
Dairy.
And that's it, folks.
That's it, and we hit
the high for snow cones.
(laughs)
It'll be dry, but you might not be sober.
Yeah, there's nothing better though
than waking up at two
a.m. at a gas station.
Yeah, I got to say I'm
jonesing for a vacation.
So I was just taking one for the team.
Yep, again, I'm not a doctor.
Called Thump Thump Drag.
What kind of short
story were you reading?
This scarred me.
Actually, remember when
we saw that wolf spider?
Remember when we had--
Yeah, it was like 15 years old.
It was like, and it was probably
my greatest parenting moment.
You did not--
To date.
You did not throw the child down.
No, I don't.
Insurance cards and spiders.
Over the hill is no longer 40.
Yes, yeah, I mean, my grandparents
lived through the
Depression and World War II.
I mean, they were the
greatest generation.
The greatest generation.
It's the greatest generation.
They truly are.
Here's the thing.
Those baby boomers though, they're soft.
So soft.
Anyways, go ahead.
If you think you're
old, you're gonna get old.
Yeah.
I always interrupt you just
because I think I got these one-liners.
That's a great one-liner.
Yeah, normal.
Oh yeah, we never do
anything embarrassing.
You wouldn't.
I only tear down my own child.
Well, no, you wouldn't
do that, but you would--
I'm just teaming to the side.
Athletic synonymous.
Athletic, yeah, what else would it be?
Yeah, obviously.
That dad and mom, by the way,
they keep taking our
partners once, just for the record.
I'm just calling him out.
I love you, love you.
You put all the seats down.
And roll out sleeping bags.
Greatest cross country car.
18 hours, 55 miles an hour,
maybe even 58 miles an hour.
That's the household I grew up in.
That is his next level
commitment to hitting your ETA.
Snow cones.
Yeah, I totally set
that one up way better.
Come on, see that one was set up better.
That one was set up really well.
Welcome to the Mr. and
Mrs. English podcast.
I'm Megan.
And I'm Sean.
We're here to talk about
the wild ride of raising kids,
growing careers, keeping life together
in the middle of all the chaos.
So buckle up, because we're all
in this crazy journey together.
That's fantastic.
We're killing it tonight.
Talk about a productive night.
Yeah, we're just jumping
right into this, right?
We really are.
Productive night, we're like,
you know what we should do?
We should record Mr. and Mrs.
Why?
Because it's a Wednesday night.
Yeah.
And tomorrow night
we've got soccer practice,
track practice, and soccer practice.
Uh-huh, yeah.
And then Friday?
I have surgery, so we can just assume
I'm gonna be on some pain
medication for the next few days.
You know what?
We missed a huge opportunity there.
Why?
We should have recorded this
while you were on pain meds on Friday.
After your surgery.
Yeah, but do we really want that?
Do I, I guess maybe
everyone else might be really--
It would have been our highest rated.
Pun intended.
Because I would have been high as a kite.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, uh-huh, still whatever.
We missed, we really
missed an opportunity there.
You missed an opportunity there.
To bring the best.
Yeah.
To the people.
To the people, and I would have to be,
I would be the one being sacrificed
to give everyone else enjoyment.
The reality is though, I don't know
that I would be able
to get into the studio.
Oh yeah, we could do it.
We'd be coming from a lounge chair or--
What would be great, you know,
I'll call the studio and
see if we've got in the budget
something where we
could just do one of those
roll-in hospital beds right here for you.
So you could be
sitting in a hospital bed,
propped up, IVs, you
know, the whole thing.
Maybe we could have a nurse come in
and check on you during.
Yeah, huh.
That would be great.
That would be, that would
be taking one for the team.
That'd be great.
And who knows if I'd say something funny
or maybe I would just
sleep through the whole thing.
So it might just be a 45
minute monologue for you.
So I'm just throwing it to Megan.
What do you think about that, Megs?
Just, yeah, silence, breathing.
And there you have it.
That is, yeah.
All right, well then
maybe it is a good idea
that we did it tonight
because it's all the time we have.
It's all the time we have.
I mean, it's a busy
schedule, so, but here's the thing.
The chaos train, it just keeps coming.
It's the chaos train.
But here's the thing, this is
something we've talked about
over the last couple of weeks
as we unpack Mr. and Mrs.
and we try to talk about
what are we doing well, what are we not?
And I was like,
honestly, I truly feel like,
at least for me, it is like a date night.
I love the hour that we
spend recording every week
because I feel like it's just
uninterrupted time with you.
And I mean, I guess all the listeners
then get a sneak peek
at what we talk about on date night.
Yeah, yeah, it really is.
It is, I was talking to somebody that
listens to the show.
I don't know, yesterday
maybe it was or two days ago,
I don't know when it was,
but they were just saying,
they enjoy it because it's
just like they're sitting
at the table, like you said,
just kind of having a
conversation with two buddies.
Right.
And I was like, that's
what smartless is all about.
Other than there's
celebrities who have their own private
jets and PJs as
they're called in business.
Yeah, yeah.
We have fallen far short of that.
I have PJs.
Well, no, really, I don't have PJs.
Yeah, but your PJs stand for pajamas.
Yeah, that's right.
Well, that's one, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I actually don't
even have that either, so.
DMI folks, DMI.
I mean, I would wear like
sweats, right around that.
I don't wear PJs around my house.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You are not walking
around in like the silk pajamas
that have the button and yeah, like,
you're not Hugh Hefner-ing it.
For sure most people or Barney.
Is this named Barney
from How I Met Your Mother?
Oh yeah, yeah.
I was thinking the big purple dinosaur.
Oh yeah, yeah, there's
that Barney too, yeah.
Yeah, to my knowledge, he
does not wear PJs either.
No, well, do you remember in the episode,
if anybody ever watched
How I Met Your Mother,
fantastic show, but I've got
a buddy that lives in Colorado
and he used to wear suits everywhere
and we work together, but we're buddies.
And he wears suits everywhere.
Like even when like you
should be wearing jeans
and we're just hanging
out, you know, he's in a suit.
So I used to always make fun of him
because there was an episode on that show
that Barney, who always wore suits,
he, they're having like
a sleepover or something
and he shows up in like a silk suit,
but it's like a three-piece silk suit,
you know, three buttons up front,
total suit, but it's made out of silk,
so it was his pajamas, but still a suit.
Yeah, yeah.
And so that's what I picture.
I always make fun of him,
that's what he goes to sleep in as well.
That's hilarious.
I mean.
Yeah, yeah.
That is fantastic.
He'll appreciate that,
that big shout out there.
Because I still think
he probably does do that.
He's lying that he doesn't.
Clearly.
And I'm sure, I
wonder where you get those.
Oh, they're probably,
I mean.
They're probably made
specifically to order.
Okay, because spoiler alert,
I did not buy those for
you for Valentine's Day.
It's a special guy that wants those.
You can't just go to
JCPenney's, pick that up.
Yeah.
I don't think at least.
Right.
Yeah.
It's legendary.
Legend, wait for it.
I hope you're not lactose intolerant.
Dairy.
And that's it, folks.
That's it, and we hit
the high for the episode.
Because I finished your.
Snow cones.
(laughing) We got it in earlier.
That was, that one was okay.
Oh, yeah, you didn't.
So now have we checked that box?
We don't have to do it at the end.
I don't know, I keep coming up with
just fantastic little
things to throw in there.
You weren't ready for that one, though.
I know, but I came up with
it pretty quickly, right?
Snow cones, yeah.
An S.
Yeah, that would have been a cut.
You would have noticed a cut if that
would have been on me.
It would have been
like, mmm, paper plates.
(laughing)
Doesn't work.
Doesn't deserve an S, John.
But it's the right syllables.
Oh, snow cones, sandwiches, sentences.
Sentences, I made one.
Sand castles.
Sand castles, I got.
Snow cones, I didn't
know it was a syllable, too.
All right, we're way out.
Anyway, off-tandant.
Yeah, that's bad.
Back around to, yep,
we're fitting this in
when we have time, and you know what?
I love that.
It's a great way for, I feel like,
to close out the day for us.
I mean, it's not super
late for us right now,
but I'm excited to have this
time to just bond with you.
Yeah, yeah.
We should probably also give the
disclaimer to the viewers
that it's a Wednesday
night before your surgery,
and tomorrow night,
you're not allowed to drink,
eat, till a certain time.
So tonight, we both
decided to have a drink,
because this is the last night
you could drink for a couple,
probably a week.
Probably, I mean, I don't
think they really advise
any type of pain medication with alcohol.
I think that's a big no-no.
We're doing a dry Valentine's.
Yeah, yeah, which, you know.
You are?
I am, yeah, I don't, you might be.
You won't even know.
I'm vibing, I won't even know.
Actually, well, it'll be
dry, but you might not be sober.
(laughing)
You're right, I probably won't be.
And that's not fair,
so I probably will be drinking that too.
Right, you'll probably need to,
after single parenting.
Well, you're so thoughtful.
You're like, "Shawn,
I'm not sober, I feel bad,
have a drink, I'm
popping pills, we're good."
We're good, yeah.
Yeah.
I will probably just be sleeping,
or at least I hope I am.
And those pills were prescribed.
100%.
Should also put the disclaimer out there.
I don't even do well on pain medication,
so this'll be interesting.
Well, that's a good point.
I mean, you've had
surgery, how many times before?
Once. Once?
Just once, yep.
And how did you do on
pain medication that time?
I was violently ill after surgery.
So that's something to look forward to?
Yep, yep, in the
post-op, I remember, yeah,
tossing my cookies.
I don't remember much,
but I remember that part.
But after that, I took them once,
and I was like, "You know what, I don't
think I need these."
So I didn't take any more.
So I did, I mean, it was just like,
I don't feel great with
them on, or with taking them,
so I decided not to,
the pain wasn't so bad.
I was like, "Oh, I can take some Advil,"
or something like that.
So I think this is a
little more extensive
than the last one, so.
Probably so.
We'll see.
Yeah, we still don't even
know if it's just gonna be
arthroscopic, or if
they're gonna have to actually
open it up, I mean, they tell you,
from what we've been
told, right, is just,
it'll start arthroscopic.
Yeah, yeah.
And then, who knows?
Who knows?
And it could range from
anywhere from an hour to three.
Yeah.
So I won't remember any of that.
Good luck to you in the waiting room.
Yeah.
Hopefully you have a good book.
Or you're editing this podcast.
See, I'm giving him
material to keep him busy
and his mind off of
worrying about his wife.
Yeah, he'll be fine.
I am a little worried
how you're gonna handle
coming out of it and
all that kind of stuff,
because I know it wasn't a great
experience the first time,
even beforehand, so.
Yeah.
I'm hopeful that
everything goes well and smooth,
and when you get back to
the family, or at least me,
you're good to go.
I'm all good to go.
So how many surgeries have you had?
I think I've only been under twice.
Oh, really?
Twice.
I got my tonsils out, back
when they took tonsils out.
I don't think they do that anymore.
Oh, really?
Not often.
They know that.
Yeah, they don't do
it very often anymore.
I got my tonsils and my
adenoids out when I was younger,
and then I had a small cyst on my wrist
that they put me out for.
Yeah.
And then I've had a couple surgeries
where I wasn't totally out,
where I was local anesthetic.
One was the surgery that ended my
quote unquote basketball career.
Right.
That was the last time I played
basketball in college.
And then, what was the other one?
I was trying to think.
You had your kidney stones blasted.
That's what it was, kidney stones.
I was out on that one.
Oh, and in the ER, I had a horrible,
what was it, what did they give me?
It was anti-nausea?
Oh, no, they gave you pain medication.
Pain meds, and I did
not react well to that.
You did not react well.
That also made you violently ill.
Anybody that's had a
kidney stone out there
knows where I'm coming from here,
because even the nurses there,
they told you in front of you
that they've had a child, naturally,
and kidney stones, and
they would have 50 more kids
before they'd have another kidney stone.
It is horrible.
It's very painful.
I've had, I don't know
how many of them now.
And then I've had some, and
then I had those ones blasted,
which I was out for, I was totally out.
So I've been under three times.
Yeah, mm-hmm.
It's the best, right?
I mean, like when they tell you,
count to 10, and you count
to three, and you're gone.
No, okay.
I don't recall any of that.
Seriously?
You've only had the one surgery, though.
Right.
Well, so enjoy it this time.
This is good.
I'm gonna enjoy this part.
When they give you this stuff,
and you're looking up at them,
and they're like, you're
gonna start feeling sleepy,
and by the time they get to the and,
whatever they're gonna
say next, you're gone.
And that three seconds is incredible.
Okay.
And I'm sure, and not that I condone
any kind of drug use or
anything like that, obviously.
Clearly.
Nor have I really done any drugs.
But I'm sure that is close to what people
that get hooked on drugs feel like,
because it's like, whoa.
Really?
I thought it was.
Yeah.
I was put under for my wisdom teeth,
but again, that's a little different,
because they give you the gas.
Well, they give you the gas, and yeah.
Yeah, and you're totally out for it.
Maybe I was out for my wisdom teeth, too.
I know I was out for my wisdom teeth.
Well, this goes back to last week's.
I got a terrible memory.
You remember more of the surgeries than
I've had, than I do.
Well, I am scarred by your kidney stones,
because they told me
that you were all good,
and that I should go pull the car around.
And then the next thing I know,
the nurse is running
out into the parking lot,
like waving her arms, telling me to stop
and to come back in.
And she let me come back there with you,
and you were literally
just writhing in pain
on the bed.
And so we needed to get
your pain under control
before we could let you go.
Well, the issue with that
was they blast the stones,
because they're too big to
pass, which is not a good thing.
So they blast them into smaller pieces,
and there's the chance,
generally they just stay,
at that point they're
still in your kidney.
They have to trickle
down into your bladder,
and then you pass them into your bladder.
But the painful part is
kidney to the bladder.
It trickles down through, I can't
remember what those,
the anatomy is called there,
but that's the excruciating pain part.
That can last, last
time I had it, it was days.
Days.
And when you haven't
blasted, there's always the chance
that one might
actually pass at that moment.
That's what happened.
And they couldn't give
me any pain medication,
as I recall, because I was
coming off the anesthetic
from the surgery.
So I was just taking one for the team.
Yep.
Yeah.
I remember that.
I was, that scarred in my
memory, and I'm sure it is you.
I think that's a family thing.
I know there's people in my
family that have had that.
It's kind of, I don't know if it's,
clearly it's genetic.
It is genetic.
Yeah.
I am not a geneticist
or a doctor, but I--
It's also dietary, but it's,
I think it's strongly genetic,
because I know people
in my family have had it.
Yeah.
And we watch out, we
actually watch what our kids eat
because of it, because
your diet can influence it,
especially if you are
genetically predisposed.
Yep.
So we actually try to limit certain
things for our kids.
Yep.
And encourage other things,
like lemonade's a
good thing in our house,
and other type of acidic
things to help with that.
Potentially dissolve any.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, less soda.
I think that was actually, once you
started with kidney stones,
you really cut down soda intake.
Not that you had a lot,
but I mean, you
hardly ever drink soda now.
Yeah.
Yeah, I've never been a big soda drinker,
but I don't know if kidney stones had
anything to do with that.
Maybe it did, I don't
really, again, I don't remember.
I recall them saying that
that was one of the things.
Yeah.
Again, I'm not a doctor, and maybe I'm
misremembering that.
Yeah.
But.
I don't know what it is.
Yeah.
So I can learn from, you know,
you seem like an old
pro at these surgeries.
Yeah, that's right, I've
been through it, you got it.
You don't have this handled,
just don't get sick beforehand
and don't get sick
afterwards, you'll be fine.
Yeah, yeah.
And enjoy when you go under.
Enjoy seconds one, two, and three of 10.
You'll love it.
Everybody else out there that's had one
knows what I'm talking about.
You're like, this is the deepest.
You had a really bad
reaction though beforehand,
so that's why you didn't remember it.
So I'm hoping this time is better.
Yeah, I'm just, I just want it done.
I wanna get back to.
I know, and start the
whole process of rehab.
Yeah, I'm actually looking
forward to going to rehab
because that means I've made progress.
I know that sounds a little weird,
but I mean, I hurt my knee December 22nd.
And it's middle of February and I'm like,
I am done with this, it has to be--
Two months later by the time this airs.
Yeah.
Full two months.
And it's just a hindrance and I'm like,
I just wanna get back
to regular life, so.
Yeah, I feel bad for you.
This is the next step.
You know what's funny
though, it makes me think of this.
So when I was a kid, I don't
remember what grade it was,
maybe third grade, something like that,
fourth grade, fifth
grade, somewhere in there.
I moved from upstairs
bedroom to make room
for one of my younger
sisters to the basement bedroom
where I was at till I
left the house at 18.
And in this basement
bedroom at that young age,
it was downstairs, it was finished
basement, so it was fine.
Nice little room there,
but an imaginative mind
at that point in time,
certain shadows are being cast
and the houses always
make weird settling noises.
And I read in Boy
Scouts, at some point in time,
somebody read me a short
story called Thump Thump Drag.
And I'm sure one of my
parents has this book still.
Oh, I'm sure.
Because it was like a short
story in one of these books.
Anyways, long story short,
it scared the heck out of me
because it was a story of a person
that apparently lost
both legs and they liked to,
I don't know if they, I don't even
remember the story anymore,
they were like a killer or whatever,
but everybody could hear them coming
because they didn't have legs.
It would be them Thump Thump Drag.
So they'd put a hand down, a hand down
and then drag their body.
What kind of short
story were you reading?
Yeah, it scarred me, scarred me.
Not that I heard it, but I always thought
I was gonna see the shadow
because I could see the
shadows come down the stairs
before they got to my door.
And so similarly, the
noise that your brace makes,
it's not a Thump Thump
Drag, but it's definitely,
I can hear you coming.
So I'm excited for you to not have to
deal with that anymore
because, you know, but
when you're on the crutches,
it is the little, you know what I mean?
There's a lot of noise with your
movements these days.
I know.
Man, I'm so glad that I could remind you
of a traumatizing childhood memory.
That's horrible.
Yeah, isn't that funny?
And I'm really sorry about that.
No, it's funny.
It's good.
You're making it better for me.
It's like, what is it called?
Exposure.
Oh, aversion therapy.
Aversion therapy.
Yeah. Yeah.
I am your aversion therapy.
Yeah, yeah.
So as long as you don't
start throwing spiders on me now,
I'll be all right.
Well, I don't like spiders either.
Yeah, well, that's one aversion therapy
I will not participate in.
Yeah, avoid that at all costs.
At all costs.
Yeah. Yeah.
By the way, did you ever kill the spider
in our daughter's bathroom?
I looked for it.
I couldn't find it.
Oh, because she slept since then?
Cause...
So our daughter saw a
spider in the bathroom
and she tried to kill
it, but it got away.
And so instead of looking for it,
she decided to close her bathroom door,
put a towel under the door
so that it couldn't, you know,
come out of the gap at the bottom.
And then just went to
bed and then was like,
hey, everybody, I need
you to kill the spider
in my bathroom.
A day later. A day later.
Yeah.
So she hadn't used her bathroom
cause she was too scared to go in there
because of the spider.
I did, I looked at it.
I looked at 80% of the bathroom.
I couldn't find it.
And I mean, it could have been hiding
somewhere somewhere,
but the way I think I
got away with it was honey,
spiders can fit through
all kinds of little cracks.
So it probably already
crawled out through the towel
and it's on its way
wherever it wanted to go.
And so I don't think she
thinks it's in there anymore.
Oh, okay.
So now it's just like in her bedroom.
Plus I told her that spiders have a
lifespan of 24 hours.
You lied to her.
Well, I told her, I said,
I wasn't sure if that was quite true,
but I'd get back to her on it.
Okay, so what is the
life expectancy of a spider?
I'm gonna say, I'm
gonna say it is 17 days.
I have no idea.
Actually, remember when
we saw that wolf spider?
It was like 15 years old.
It was like two or
three years old though,
to get that big.
Yeah. Yeah, we were playing in Colorado.
Our youngest was a baby,
so it was 10 years ago.
And we were playing in the
backyard, Barefoot, Colorado.
And I thought there was a
blade of grass tickling my foot.
I looked down, there was a
massive hairy wolf spider.
Size of my fist.
I mean, it was huge.
It was massive.
Just put your fingers
together with your two thumbs
and your two pointer
fingers together, makes a circle.
That's how big it was.
On my bare foot.
Yep.
And it was probably my
greatest parenting moment.
You did not.
To date.
You did not throw the child down.
No, and the reason we bring this up is,
if there's one thing I
can't deal with, it's spiders.
And I've learned to deal
with the smaller ones now
because I'm dad.
Yeah, yeah.
I gotta kill them.
I don't like it.
I hate spiders, they're creepy crawly.
And that huge stinking
thing was on my foot.
Yeah.
My bare foot.
Your bare foot.
I was cooking dinner and I
heard high pitch screaming.
I assumed it was in our neighbor's yard.
Like, oh, I wonder what is going on in
our neighbor's house.
And I go outside and
you're holding our youngest.
And I was what, 20, 30 feet away from you
and I could see it.
Yeah.
Oh yeah, it was huge.
Yeah.
And yeah, you did not throw
the baby down or anything.
And you killed it.
You're very, like,
you're very calm about it.
But you probably still have nightmares.
I slid my foot out for a minute.
I slid my foot, I, hmm.
I just,
(laughs)
yeah, that's the sign that
I'm gonna say this again.
(laughs)
I slid my foot out from it
and then I went and got a shovel.
And maybe I think I had
to run over it with a car
because it was huge.
And it was like a, boom,
boom, as you drove over it.
Yeah, like 15 times.
Just to make sure.
In that picture, we still have,
and it shows up on our
Alexa every now and again.
And it creeps me out every time.
Yeah, she likes that picture.
She likes that picture.
Of all the pictures, 15,000
pictures she could choose from.
That dead spider mutant
comes up all the time.
It was like a men in black spider.
Yes, it was.
So between that and the
pictures of our insurance cards
also show up all the time.
And those, yeah, right.
I mean, all the thousands
and thousands of pictures
we have of our babies growing up,
of us taking fun vacations.
Yeah, insurance cards and spiders.
Yeah.
I don't know.
That's right.
AI's taking over, and
if that's an indication
of where it's going, it
does freak me out a little bit,
because those are the things I don't care
to see all the time.
That's what memories are made of.
It is a great story, though.
I do look back, I
vividly remember that night.
It was a beautiful evening.
It was fantastic, it really was.
Ruined by a spider.
Ruined by a mutant giant spider.
Yeah, but our oldest,
he is the one, I would
say, of all the kids,
so clearly our daughter
does not like spiders,
so she gets that aversion from you and I,
like she does not like them.
Our oldest is a champ about it, though.
He'll help you. He's pretty good, yeah.
There's been times when
he's had to kill a big one.
Yeah, he steps up, he
does a really good job.
He's getting old, and he's getting older,
and he's starting to take on those,
so there's responsibilities.
He wears the big
brother. He likes her, yeah.
He wears that big
brother robe really well.
Yeah, he does, yeah, he does.
Just like our daughter wears
the princess robe pretty well,
and yeah, she's total diva.
I think she's more of
a diva, I would say,
than a princess, would you?
You're right, yeah,
she's a diva, you're right.
She's not princess, she's just diva.
But still a likable diva, I would say.
She hasn't crossed over
to the unlikable diva.
Not yet, no, hopefully that doesn't come.
Yeah, good parenting is gonna make sure
that doesn't happen.
Yeah, yeah, she can turn on the drama,
but she's still good, yeah.
And our youngest wears
that robe really well too.
He's the baby.
He's the baby, and birth
order really does matter.
In that one, it does.
Some people don't believe in it,
but I think there's
something to it in a lot of cases.
It's been our experience.
That it's pretty spot on.
Hey, that's another one of
the names for this podcast.
It's been our experience.
It's been our experience, yeah.
What was the one that you had last week
that was pretty funny too?
Hashtag relatable.
There it is, yeah,
that one's better, but.
Yeah, it's true.
It's a better experience.
Yeah, so, anyway.
Well, I mean, going back to birth order,
you're the oldest in your family,
and you are the oldest who,
by the time this podcast airs,
will have celebrated another birthday.
Yep, yep.
And how is that feeling for you?
Hey, the sands of time,
they keep falling, so.
You know, it's weird, it is weird.
I mean, growing up's great, right?
Because life does get better,
because you're just, once
you get to a certain point,
you kind of can slow
down, smell the roses,
even though it's crazy.
But, you know, it is weird knowing that
I'm on the downhill side of life,
and I'm not trying to be morbid to that,
but I'm a realistic
person to a fault, right?
I mean, and I know that.
And it is weird to think, you know,
if you double my lifetime, you know,
I'm in late night, in my late 90s, which,
you know, I gotta live a
pretty good life to make it there,
which means I'm on the
downhill side of my life,
even though I wanna be over 100,
as long as I'm healthy. Yeah.
As long as I'm healthy. Yeah.
But, you bring it up,
because we talked about it,
it's interesting,
because when we all grew up,
it was a big deal when
our parents turned 40.
It was the, over the hill. Yes.
Over the hill was 40,
everybody was, you know,
we'd had parties, you
know, everybody dressed up old,
and, you know, dyed their hair gray,
or put gray in their hair,
and pillows in their shirts,
and stuff, they're old,
you know, 40 was so old then.
It was.
And we touched on it last week,
and I don't think, I
don't think 40's that old.
Like, I feel like I was young at 40,
now that I'm almost 48,
I turn 48 in three days,
four days, whatever it is. Right.
And I don't feel 48, I don't
even close to feel near 50,
so I think that over
the hill is no longer 40.
I don't think it is either.
Yeah.
Is it more like 50, or 50, 60?
What is the age then
that's over the hill?
I don't know, I think it's closer to 60,
than it is 50.
I mean, I am turning the
page, don't get me wrong,
I can tell things are
changing in life, you know,
(laughs)
as far as getting older, but,
I do think, you know, back
in the 60's, 70's, and 80's,
it was just a different generation.
Right.
A, I guess life expectancy
wasn't as long as it is now.
But B, you know, you turned 40 or 45,
I feel like people
thought it was their birthright,
and the correct thing
to just start being old,
at that point.
Yeah.
Right, like, you start
wearing your jeans higher, right?
Yeah, yeah.
(laughs)
You start wearing black socks.
Yep, with your shorts.
Everywhere.
You wear a button up everywhere.
Everywhere.
You know, and it's just
what you're supposed to do,
that's just what you
did when you were over 40,
you just started acting old.
Right.
And apparently dressing old.
Yeah, yeah.
And I just don't think
that's where our generation's at.
I agree.
And what's interesting, I think back,
I have a picture of me as a baby,
and it's my, you see my parents,
and two of my grandparents.
And my grandparents must
only be between 50 and 55.
I mean, I--
And they look classic.
They look classic grandparents.
Classic old people
from like the 40's, right?
Yes.
I've seen the picture.
You've seen the picture,
and I love these
pictures, they're dear to me,
but they look like grandparents,
and it's like, I mean, my
grandmother in that picture
is probably only two
years older than you.
(laughs) Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Maybe they lived a harder,
they did live a harder life.
We're blessed to be living
in certain generations, right?
Yes, yeah, I mean, my grandparents were,
lived through the
Depression and World War II,
I mean, they were the
greatest generation.
It's the greatest generation.
They truly are.
The things they went
through is incredible.
Yeah, but here's the thing.
Those baby boomers though, they're soft.
So soft.
Anyways, go ahead.
That's pretty funny.
I think, and my
grandmother would say this,
when we were talking to
her, I will never forget,
she moved out of her house in
her mid to late 90's, right?
Lived independently in her own house.
And we went to visit her, she was.
And this is the same
grandmother that looked old
in these pictures as she's holding me.
And she looked at us at what, 99,
and she's talking to us and she's like,
you know, I really like it here,
their people are
nice, but they're so old.
(laughs) You're probably one
of the older ones here.
And in her mind, she was not old.
And in it, she kept herself so young.
She definitely looked old.
I mean, when she was 50.
You hit the nail on
the head though, right?
I think age is a mentality.
It is.
If you think you're
old, you're gonna get old.
It's a mindset there.
So I mean, if you think
you're young, you wanna stay young.
I mean, my mom's, I think, a good.
Oh yeah.
Your mom's even like that too.
Both my parents are, yeah.
They haven't accepted the
fact that they're one foot
in the grave.
I mean, they're done
with life at this point.
I'm just kidding, totally kidding.
They just, they think, they
probably think of themselves
the same way we think
of ourselves, right?
Like, I'm still young.
I'm like, I'm still 40.
Right.
They probably still
think they're still 45.
That's exactly right.
I'm sure they do.
And I think--
And they act like it.
And they act like it, right?
It's embarrassing.
(laughs)
I'm sorry.
I don't know why.
I always, I always interrupt you just
because I think I got these one-liners.
That's a great one-liner.
Yeah.
Yeah. Dun, dun, dun.
But it gives us a good
blueprint for how to be
because we see them as
so active and vibrant.
And I mean, they're still doing fun stuff
with their friends, maybe
silly stuff with their friends
that would embarrass us if we were there
because of course that
is every parent's right
to embarrass their child.
But, you know, it's a great blueprint.
Yeah.
Although I did tell my dad total tangent,
but I did tell my dad at one point,
he was being really silly
and trying to embarrass me.
I was probably 20, 21.
I was like, "Dad, when
are you gonna realize
that you're actually not embarrassing me?
You're just
embarrassing yourself right now?"
(laughs)
Yeah, he was just being funny,
but he's just living his life.
Yeah.
When you said that, that
makes me think of like,
we say the same things to our kids.
Oh yeah.
Like, "You're so
embarrassed by us right now,
but you're actually the one
that's being embarrassing."
Yeah, yeah.
No?
I know.
It's like, we're just
passing through this life
slowly but surely and
everybody on both sides of us,
they're just acting
crazy and embarrassing
while we're just
totally natural and normal.
Oh yeah, we never do
anything embarrassing.
Not.
Try not to.
We try not to.
Yeah.
Maybe, no, we don't.
No, we're above doing
embarrassing things.
There was a time maybe
on the soccer sidelines
that I might've done
some embarrassing things
that I've grown through.
We've grown through and we
still see it though a lot
on the scene.
Yeah, oh yeah.
Especially on the soccer sidelines.
I don't know if
because people are outside,
they think, "Hey, I
can just say whatever."
I mean, we have, like,
there is one parent on,
we hear him in the big
stands at the stadiums.
This is on the high school team.
High school team, yeah.
Yeah.
And...
But I think, well,
everybody's kind of
grown through that, right?
Yeah.
And I think for me,
as I've watched some of the dads
that are more tough and loud and
obnoxious on the sidelines,
which included me early on,
I don't even know, I can still get under,
I can still get under my skin now too,
if a ref's bad and it's
not being safe for the kids.
But I think a lot of these dads
were probably very competitive when they
were younger, right?
They were probably athletic.
They probably competed at a high level.
Maybe some of them played college,
whatever it might be,
right, but they were competitive.
Correct, yeah.
Played sports at a competitive level.
And I hate saying that
because sometimes, you know,
people are like, "Oh,
I played high school."
And it's like, "High school? Okay."
When you played, at
least you played college,
that counts for something.
But anyways, that's a
little thing I have.
But they're the ones that are generally
yelling on the sideline, right?
And it's because they know and it's just,
for me, it's like, you've
got that competitive juice
and by the time you're 40
and you got these young kids
that are out there doing their thing too,
you don't really have
that athletic outlet anymore
to get that testosterone out, right?
So it's like, "Yeah, I
can yell now. This is good.
Like, come on."
And I think that's where it
comes from a little bit, right?
And then it does kind
of, if your kid's good,
then start having expectations,
start forming expectations of them to
continue that, right?
So, I mean, yeah, I was
bad for a while on that,
but I've learned to get through that
because it only hurts the kids, you know?
And like, when the refs
get mad at the parents,
it only hurts the kids.
But to your point, we got
this guy at the high school games
that's just yelling.
And nobody, everybody else has already
matured through this.
It's kind of my point, right?
100%, yeah, by the time
your kid reaches high school,
most parents have grown through this
and already learned and
been counseled by the coaches.
What's never happened?
Your coaches, no, no, no, not one-on-one.
To me.
I'm just saying, coaches, as a group,
coaches will tell you, you know, stop.
And then also in high
school, it gets important
because if you have
college scouts at the game,
they actually do focus on the parents
and, you know, how
that reflects on the kids.
So I think by the time
your kid's in high school,
you're pretty buttoned up
and you're cheering appropriately.
But man, this-
There's two dads.
They sit next to each other
because birds have a feather, man.
Come on, guys.
Yeah.
Pass the bomb, Massey.
Yeah, and it's-
I mean, and they're, go
ahead, you were gonna say it.
Yeah, it's degrading to other players.
I would say even at your
loudest on the sidelines,
you would only-
I only yell at my own kid.
You would only yell at your own kid.
Yeah.
You would-
I only tear down my own child.
Well, no, you wouldn't do that,
but you would coach your
own child or speak, you know.
I'm positive to everybody else.
If somebody else's
kid did what my kid did,
I would be like, well done, way to go.
Don't worry about it, buddy,
if it was even close to a mess up.
Right.
No worries at all.
Learn from it, you
know, like, so positive.
It's only your own kid.
What this particular, or these two dads,
like, they're saying bad
things about other kids.
Other people's kids.
Yeah, or other kids.
And I mean, you were at a game
and like all the other parents
are just staring at this wild one baron.
Yeah.
Awkward.
Yeah, it's like they have the plague.
And it's like, yeah,
I mean, it's like they're just sitting within 20 feet of them.
Unlike, I did put an
Instagram post up just last night,
I think it was, we were
like the only ones in the,
it was so cold, we
were like the only ones.
It was so cold.
I thought it was funny,
but generally there
are other parents there
and we're sitting in them,
but in this other one,
there's a lot of people there,
but nobody was within 20 feet of them.
It was like they had the
plague and they're just,
and then, yeah, to your point,
people are looking at them,
people are actually
jawing with them a little bit
and they're jawing back.
I mean, there's, I mean, at some point,
Yeah, and I mean, it kind of reaches the
point where it's like,
do we let the coach know?
Like, can the coach hear this?
Because I mean, thank goodness he wasn't
tearing down our kid.
Otherwise, I may have had a more
emotionally strong reaction.
But like, it could be my kid.
It could be my kid in the next game.
And that's when I would say something.
Yeah, that's just not.
That's why I don't know if I've got the
self-control of humor to
be saying it to my kid.
Maybe I should be standing up for other
people's kids too,
because they're crossing a line.
Yeah, I agree.
They need to join that AA
for dads that have grown.
There's a couple of
dads on our youngest team.
Athletics Anonymous?
Athletics Anonymous.
Yeah, what else would it be?
Yeah, obviously.
But I know there's a couple
of dads on the other team.
One in particular that I know that for a
while there, he and I
were like, two yellers at
our son.
If we felt they were, even if they were
six out of ten
performance on that day, we'd
be like, "Come on, you got to get there."
The truth about these
kids is they're up and down.
Even when you get to a certain age,
you're still going to have good and bad
days, unfortunately.
But he's turned it around completely.
He doesn't say hardly
anything on the fields now.
No.
He's just so positive and good guy.
He was competitive
too when he was younger.
It was nice spending more time with him
when they were at the house here.
Yeah.
That's because I'm a
lot in common, I think.
Yeah, I'll never forget what he said.
I think his wife
probably said something to him.
Actually he said that she did.
He's like, "Then I realized it wasn't
actually helping my kid
and it was only hurting him."
It's like, because as a parent, it's
coming from a good place when you do it.
It really is.
I truly believe that.
To a point.
You only want what's best for your kid.
Yeah, that's true.
It all stems from a really good place.
But then when you realize it's not
achieving what I want it to
achieve, it's like, "Okay,
I got to."
It's just when it rolls
downhill too far, right?
It started in a good place and then it
ended up probably in a bad place, sadly.
That dad and mom, by the way, they keep
taking our parking
spots just for the record.
Do they?
Yeah.
I told them I was going to
mention it on the podcast.
Oh, okay.
Well, they keep taking our spots.
I'm just calling him out.
By the way, we love this family.
They're fantastic.
Yeah.
No, they're great.
They really are.
We are blessed that our kids, aside from
the other two that we
were talking about in the
big stands on the high school team,
they're really
surrounded by really good kids and
families.
Yeah.
The club teams, right?
The club teams.
High school teams, it's just a different
... A lot of those
players aren't playing at the
same level that the club kids play at.
Yeah.
They don't even know soccer.
A lot of the things they say is just ...
It's embarrassing that it
comes out of their mouth,
but they don't know the game.
Yeah.
One of the things that I think is really
cool about what I've seen
from a high school soccer
standpoint is that those have become our
oldest good friends.
It's harder on club teams.
You have those good friends, but you're
not going to school
with them most of the time
because the club teams that ... They're
drawing kids from all over,
in our case, the Metroplex.
You could have someone on your team who
lives 45 minutes to an
hour away from you, so it's
not like you can necessarily get together
really easily on a night
to hang out or anything
like that.
For our oldest, at least, that high
school team has become
his core group of friends
in high school, which
is really good to see.
I like that.
Yeah.
Most of them are upperclassmen, though,
because there's only a
handful of freshmen on that
team.
That's interesting.
What we're now discovering is that new
era of, "Hey,
everybody's jumping in so-and-so's
car and going somewhere to get food."
Our oldest really hasn't had an allowance
up to this point, so he's like, "Hey, can
I get $13 today to go
eat and get some chicken?
I need $10 for donuts for breakfast."
That doesn't bother me as much, because
he will get an
allowance at some point that's
consistent.
He needs to learn how to use money and be
responsible and that kind of stuff.
I'm not comfortable yet not knowing the
kids that are driving him around.
I want to be able to look at the kid and
say, "Hey, you've got my
son and his life in your
hands.
You need to drive safe
when my son's in your car."
If I don't know those people and I want
to look at them in the
eye, it's a little bit
like the shotgun in my arm, in my hand,
when the boyfriend
comes over for our middle.
You know what I mean?
I want to make sure it's safe.
That's a little uncomfortable right now.
Yeah.
Well, I did talk to him about that last
night actually on the way home.
I reiterated to him that on Friday he
needs to introduce you.
I won't be at the game, but he will need
to introduce you to the
kid that he's been getting
rights with.
He's like, "Yeah, I will."
I already told him that
that's what I was going to do.
Thank you.
Thank you for mentioning that.
Yeah.
I did kind of like a whole grilling like,
"Oh, so are you guys
wearing seatbelts in the
car?"
He's like, "Yeah."
He's like, "I don't know about the other
car that was going,"
but he's like, "We were
all wearing seatbelts."
In fact, he told me the kid actually
asked everyone to put their seatbelts on.
Okay.
He's like, "I did
anyway, but I figured that."
I think it's pretty normal now for people
to just automatically
put a seatbelt on, right?
I don't know.
I don't recall the last time I was in a
car and like, "Oh, I forgot my seatbelt."
I don't know.
I remember, well, I mean, we're old
enough to tell a lot of
stories about how different
things were when we were kids.
True.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
But not as old as your grandmother that
you're speaking about that
used to drive a horse and
buggy to town.
Yes.
Yeah.
Like a horse drunk whale again.
Yeah.
When she was like six.
Or your dad who remembers them putting
coal in the fireplace
to keep the kids warm.
Yeah.
I mean, that's just different.
That's a different era.
It's a different era.
Yeah.
What was I going to
talk about there though?
Yes, the belts.
What we did differently?
Oh yeah, but we didn't have shoulder
strap seat belts, so
we had a really hard...
Not in the back seat.
Yeah.
Not in the back seat.
Yeah.
I don't even know if it...
Maybe it was a law.
Law while we were
children that we had to wear it.
Because we would take cross country
vacations in a station
wagon and those were the best
because I'd roll out my sleeping bag.
Oh yeah.
Because we'd put all the seats down.
Yeah.
And roll out sleeping bags.
Yeah.
Greatest cross country car.
18 hours, 55 miles an hour,
maybe even 58 miles an hour.
Right?
Yeah.
Just living the dream.
Mm-hmm.
But we can't do that now.
No.
Oh, so my whole point to that was I had a
cousin at that point
in time back in the late
80s, I think.
She's older than me, lives in Illinois.
And I remember her saying, "I just don't
want to put my seat belt on."
She's like, "What if I crash and the
car's on fire and I can't get out?"
Well, that's one way
to think of it, I guess.
I was 14 though, so I didn't have a good
answer to come back.
That's a really good
reason not to wear one.
Okay.
So to this day, I don't wear a seat belt.
Well, that's just a thing.
So yes, we did take a couple where we
would roll out the
seats, or put the seats down
and sleep.
But really, by the time I was like seven
or eight, we didn't do
that anymore, probably
because we had a lot of kids
and everyone needed a seat belt.
My parents always
made us wear seat belts.
And so from most of my memory, it truly
was, "Okay, everyone buckle up."
And so to me, I don't
even think about it.
It's not even like, "Oh gosh, I don't
have my seat belt on."
I mean, that's the first thing
I do every time I get the car.
I don't have the memory to recall that,
but just going off the
fact that my parents would
not, when we do these 18-hour
cross-country drives, they
would not take the time to pull
over, stop the car, put it in park on the
side of the highway and do a Chinese fire
drill and switch drivers.
They didn't do that.
Actually, we added
cruise control to the car.
It didn't come with
cruise control back then.
So I remember they added cruise control,
maybe just for this, but
they'd put it on cruise
control at 58 miles an
hour, whatever it was.
And they would do a driver switch in the
front seat while one
person's holding the wheel,
the other one's climbing out of the
driver's seat because it's
a cruise control and they're
just steering it straight.
None of us are seat belted in our
sleeping bags in the back.
So I don't know.
That's the household I grew up in.
That is next level
commitment to hitting your ETA.
I mean, if Waze was around back then, it
was like, "You are a rock star."
Yeah, you just made up 12 minutes.
Your arrival time.
Wow.
That's funny.
How did you go to the bathroom?
How did you guys do
restroom stops and stuff like that?
We weren't allowed to.
Windows.
I'm just kidding.
I was like, "Wow,
sisters, that's impressive."
Yeah, I think the side of the road we had
to do at that point in time.
Oh yeah, yeah.
Okay.
But if it wasn't around a bathroom break,
I mean, that's what they would do.
Oh wow.
Yeah.
Maybe because you were all sleeping too.
They didn't want to wake you up.
I don't know.
It was 18 hours, so we
weren't sleeping the whole time.
Wow.
Yeah.
I mean, we were better though than waking
up at 2 a.m. at a gas station.
Yeah.
Scroggy and the lights and the dark.
Yeah.
You guys took more cross-country things
in the middle of the night than we did.
We didn't do that.
We just do it in one go.
I mean, we probably drove about the same
amount because we went
to Colorado to Michigan or
Chicago and then Michigan, and then you'd
come from Minneapolis down to Colorado.
Colorado, yeah.
We always stopped though in Grand Island,
Nebraska, and there
was a holiday in there.
It was a real treat for
us to stay at a hotel.
Yeah.
I mean, with five kids, it's not like we
fit in one hotel room,
so it was always a treat.
You guys have the free
cash flow to do that though.
I think the economics might
have been slightly different.
Yeah.
Maybe.
So, I mean, it was fun.
My parents didn't switch
drivers driving on a highway.
I think they would have pulled over.
I don't ever remember my mom.
If my dad was in the car, my dad was
driving, so I don't know
that they switched drivers.
She never drove?
No, not on car trips with my dad.
My dad did.
Pre Madonna.
I got to cut that one.
Pre Madonna?
Yeah.
Can you say Pre Madonna?
Yeah.
I'm just kidding.
Yeah, he would do the driving.
I'm surprised at that because she's kind
of a take charge kind of
woman, so I'm surprised
that she...
I don't recall my mom
ever driving on a road trip.
Yeah.
He just gave her the stiff arm, huh?
He just...
I'm the man, I would
drive this 19 hours straight.
So my mom, I think,
probably used that as...
There's only eight hours though.
If you guys didn't drive it
all the way, that would be nice.
You didn't drive it all the way, yeah.
So it's not like someone needed to sleep,
it was the middle of
the night or anything
like that.
Yeah.
But, yeah.
That makes sense.
My mom probably thought
all the kids are buckled in.
They're all safe.
They're all entertained by their cassette
tapes or whatever they have, their books.
So she probably just got a little bit of
time to decompress and read a book.
Because she can read in the car.
Which I don't blame.
With five kids, I probably would have
wanted to do that too.
I think three is insane.
Yeah.
So.
I'm glad that wasn't the expectation
because I grew up with
four, you grew up with five.
That's...
Yeah.
Those are busy households.
Those are busy, busy households.
Yeah.
But, I mean, road trips, just speaking of
road trips, I got to
say I'm jonesing for a
vacation.
You?
Definitely.
It feels like that when
we lived in Chicago, right?
It was just those gloomy, gray days and
everybody would take a
January beach vacation just to
get some sun.
Yeah.
It's just cold down here.
It is.
And, I mean, our kids keep looking at
pictures of vacations
like, "Can we go here?
Can we go here?"
I just...
Yeah.
Man.
I've been talking about road trips and
it's like, "Oh, even that would be nice."
We should talk about
vacations to the next podcast.
We should.
Because it would be closer to spring
break and who knows?
Who knows?
I might be feeling fantastic and we could
take a little spring break.
Yeah.
We could be doing cartwheels by that
time, so we'll be good.
Certainly hope so.
That's the plan.
Soitenly.
Anyway, well, you know what?
For not having too much of an agenda, I
think we've filled up
quite a bit of time.
Yeah.
So.
We're nothing if not
full of a lot of hot air.
Right.
And again, welcome to
Sean and Megan's date night.
Yeah.
Let's go drink some...
Wine?
There you go.
You did it again.
You're always finishing my...
Snow cones.
Yeah.
I totally set that one up way better.
Come on.
See, that one was set up better.
That one was set up really well.
You look like you're confused though.
I was like, "Well, did I go back to the
one I used in the
beginning of the episode?
Do I?"
Yeah.
See ya. Yeah.
(soft music)