1 00:00:00,572 --> 00:00:04,924 Welcome back to episode three of the Second Chance Queen podcast. 2 00:00:04,924 --> 00:00:07,386 I'm your host, Kristianna Mrjenovich. 3 00:00:07,386 --> 00:00:12,759 And today we are going to have a super exciting guest that I cannot wait to see. 4 00:00:12,759 --> 00:00:17,751 I got to see her back in January at our national pageant that we competed at 5 00:00:17,751 --> 00:00:18,182 together. 6 00:00:18,182 --> 00:00:23,054 And I am super excited to see her this evening. 7 00:00:23,054 --> 00:00:24,775 Her name is Mrs. 8 00:00:24,775 --> 00:00:26,419 Tanya Holloway. 9 00:00:26,451 --> 00:00:31,831 please join me in welcoming Tanya Holloway, a proud veteran wife, mother, 10 00:00:31,831 --> 00:00:35,011 and social and environmental justice advocate. 11 00:00:35,171 --> 00:00:40,231 Tanya was crowned Miss Plus America Elite in 2021, secured the first runner up 12 00:00:40,231 --> 00:00:45,811 position in the Miss division of Miss Plus World in 2022, and has held multiple 13 00:00:45,811 --> 00:00:47,811 pageant titles, including Mrs. 14 00:00:47,811 --> 00:00:50,971 Alabama USA Earth 2022 and Mrs. 15 00:00:50,971 --> 00:00:53,467 Florida USA Earth 2023. 16 00:00:53,467 --> 00:00:56,967 where she placed in the top 10 and most recently, Mrs. 17 00:00:56,967 --> 00:00:59,407 Florida United States 2024. 18 00:00:59,767 --> 00:01:03,747 Beyond her impressive pageant career, Tanya is the driving force behind the 19 00:01:03,747 --> 00:01:09,167 Humankind Project, an initiative dedicated to fostering kindness towards ourselves, 20 00:01:09,167 --> 00:01:11,847 understanding one another and nurturing our planet. 21 00:01:11,847 --> 00:01:16,107 In today's podcast, Tanya will share her experiences and insights on second 22 00:01:16,107 --> 00:01:19,127 chances, resilience and self -confidence. 23 00:01:19,127 --> 00:01:21,955 Please join me in welcoming Tanya Holloway. 24 00:01:23,103 --> 00:01:25,003 Hi, my name is Tanya Holloway. 25 00:01:25,003 --> 00:01:26,443 I am Mrs. 26 00:01:26,443 --> 00:01:32,043 Florida United States 2024, and I am competing for the title of Mrs. 27 00:01:32,043 --> 00:01:35,763 United States in October in Memphis, Tennessee. 28 00:01:35,763 --> 00:01:37,743 I'm so excited about that. 29 00:01:37,743 --> 00:01:43,223 And I'm so happy to be here with you because I know that we competed together 30 00:01:43,223 --> 00:01:44,403 with the Mrs. 31 00:01:44,403 --> 00:01:45,523 USA Earth pageant. 32 00:01:45,523 --> 00:01:47,203 And so it's nice catching 33 00:01:47,337 --> 00:01:53,519 But for those who don't know me, I am a mom of four in my blended family. 34 00:01:53,519 --> 00:01:59,681 I have a fur baby who you might have just heard bark, I hope not. 35 00:01:59,681 --> 00:02:06,163 have a wonderful husband who is also a veteran and very supportive of me and my 36 00:02:06,163 --> 00:02:06,993 efforts. 37 00:02:06,993 --> 00:02:11,395 So I'm just very happy to be here and happy to get started on our conversation. 38 00:02:11,916 --> 00:02:14,139 Alright, I'm super excited to have you. 39 00:02:14,139 --> 00:02:16,642 Isn't it the best having a supportive husband? 40 00:02:16,642 --> 00:02:18,624 We have to give the husbands a shout out. 41 00:02:18,624 --> 00:02:22,248 Pageant husbands are like, amazing. 42 00:02:22,397 --> 00:02:24,149 Yes, I agree. 43 00:02:24,149 --> 00:02:28,563 mean, I don't think, especially as a missus competing, if your husband's not 44 00:02:28,563 --> 00:02:32,347 supportive, I think it's just gonna be so, first of all, it be kind of sad. 45 00:02:32,347 --> 00:02:35,940 And second of all, it's, you know, it's needed. 46 00:02:35,940 --> 00:02:37,792 You need that support, you know? 47 00:02:37,792 --> 00:02:39,924 That's marriage is teamwork. 48 00:02:39,924 --> 00:02:45,720 So of course, whether they want to or not, they're gonna probably end up being 49 00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:46,830 supportive. 50 00:02:48,693 --> 00:02:53,218 It made me so happy to see all of the husbands that were at our pageant because 51 00:02:53,218 --> 00:02:56,562 we competed in the first and only Mrs. 52 00:02:56,562 --> 00:03:02,148 Only division pageant, which was super exciting and it was catered towards Mrs. 53 00:03:02,228 --> 00:03:05,352 And seeing all of the couples was really cool. 54 00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:09,566 Sometimes you don't see that at pageants, so I feel like that was really special. 55 00:03:09,989 --> 00:03:15,572 It was, and it's one of the things that made Pageant Week fun because I had him 56 00:03:15,572 --> 00:03:20,825 with me and he was able to not only just come and watch the pageant, but he was 57 00:03:20,825 --> 00:03:24,137 also able to take part in some of the activities that we had going on. 58 00:03:24,137 --> 00:03:26,628 So it ended up being really fun. 59 00:03:26,628 --> 00:03:31,871 So I'm forever grateful that he is my number one fan. 60 00:03:32,824 --> 00:03:33,795 that's awesome. 61 00:03:33,795 --> 00:03:37,887 I have mine that's a number one fan too and I wouldn't trade it for the world. 62 00:03:39,348 --> 00:03:45,661 well, speaking of our number one fans, I would love to hear of your second chance 63 00:03:45,661 --> 00:03:46,061 story. 64 00:03:46,061 --> 00:03:52,155 So obviously I've been super open about mine and overcoming domestic abuse and 65 00:03:52,155 --> 00:03:53,215 that whole situation. 66 00:03:53,215 --> 00:03:56,577 So having a supportive husband obviously is a huge thing to me. 67 00:03:56,577 --> 00:03:59,088 I want to know a little bit about your second chance. 68 00:03:59,088 --> 00:04:02,260 What is your second chance story? 69 00:04:02,962 --> 00:04:06,954 chance that stands out the most is my second chance at love. 70 00:04:07,494 --> 00:04:10,055 My husband and I were both married before. 71 00:04:10,055 --> 00:04:16,058 This is my second marriage and you know, it's finding love after a devastating 72 00:04:16,058 --> 00:04:17,198 divorce. 73 00:04:17,619 --> 00:04:20,930 When my first marriage ended, I was heartbroken. 74 00:04:20,930 --> 00:04:22,081 I was skeptical. 75 00:04:22,081 --> 00:04:24,052 You know, am I gonna find love again? 76 00:04:24,052 --> 00:04:28,864 I'm a romantic, so I was not gonna give up on finding love, but I didn't 77 00:04:29,465 --> 00:04:34,028 I had a lot of people say like, you know, are you sure you want to like go through 78 00:04:34,028 --> 00:04:34,398 that again? 79 00:04:34,398 --> 00:04:36,600 I'm like, what am I gonna do be single for the rest of my life? 80 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:40,933 I just For me, I've always even as a little kid. 81 00:04:40,933 --> 00:04:46,016 I always was like when I grow up I'm going to be married like I always wanted a 82 00:04:46,016 --> 00:04:50,629 family and and that did not mean being a single mom I was a single mom at one 83 00:04:50,629 --> 00:04:51,119 point. 84 00:04:51,119 --> 00:04:52,420 That's not fun. 85 00:04:52,420 --> 00:04:54,441 Zero stars do not recommend 86 00:04:54,618 --> 00:04:56,382 No, same! 87 00:04:56,487 --> 00:05:01,493 Sometimes if it you know it is what it is but yeah I prefer to be married because I 88 00:05:01,493 --> 00:05:09,002 just love the partnership of marriage But yeah, it was not a good first marriage for 89 00:05:09,002 --> 00:05:09,212 me. 90 00:05:09,212 --> 00:05:11,084 Unfortunately, you know 91 00:05:12,844 --> 00:05:20,348 he was not a nice person and so meeting my new my now husband and he's kind and he's 92 00:05:20,348 --> 00:05:25,351 patient and he's understanding you know it's so refreshing in contrast to the 93 00:05:25,351 --> 00:05:32,105 emotional and physical pain that I was used to with my first husband so that's my 94 00:05:32,105 --> 00:05:33,405 second chance 95 00:05:33,943 --> 00:05:37,014 We have very similar second chances. 96 00:05:37,014 --> 00:05:43,245 feel like my first and my second husband, I'll be honest, I'm on my third. 97 00:05:43,245 --> 00:05:44,813 Third time's the charm for 98 00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:47,370 Third one sticks. 99 00:05:49,231 --> 00:05:54,552 But I can definitely relate to finding love in that second chance 100 00:05:54,772 --> 00:05:58,675 you know, love and I feel like some of us are just born lovers. 101 00:05:58,675 --> 00:06:01,797 We want to love somebody, we want to be loved. 102 00:06:02,378 --> 00:06:08,902 But a lot of people don't talk about what it's like being in a healthy relationship 103 00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:11,885 after being in such a negative one. 104 00:06:11,885 --> 00:06:17,389 Is there anything specific that you'd say stands out to you the most as far as, you 105 00:06:17,389 --> 00:06:20,504 know, you had this terrible experience, now you're in this whole new 106 00:06:20,634 --> 00:06:21,598 shock for you? 107 00:06:21,598 --> 00:06:25,305 What was the biggest like, my gosh, this is different. 108 00:06:25,305 --> 00:06:31,344 Yeah, so one of the things I will say about that is I don't think people talk 109 00:06:31,344 --> 00:06:33,093 enough about 110 00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:36,605 the normal struggles that healthy couples go through. 111 00:06:36,605 --> 00:06:39,886 You you sometimes see couples and you think, they're perfect. 112 00:06:39,886 --> 00:06:41,837 They probably never argue. 113 00:06:41,837 --> 00:06:45,099 They're probably, you know, doing the deed every night and they're probably, you 114 00:06:45,099 --> 00:06:45,969 know, all that stuff. 115 00:06:45,969 --> 00:06:52,632 it's like, people don't talk enough about, you know, what you might think or what you 116 00:06:52,632 --> 00:06:55,393 might perceive as perfect. 117 00:06:55,393 --> 00:06:57,675 You don't know what's going on behind closed doors. 118 00:06:57,675 --> 00:07:01,626 People have a good way of hiding and only showing you what they want you to see. 119 00:07:01,626 --> 00:07:03,297 And it's kind of like social 120 00:07:03,497 --> 00:07:09,040 You know, I it looks great back here, but on the other side of the camera It's a hot 121 00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:16,373 mess Like that and so I wish more open and honest about what marriage is really like 122 00:07:16,373 --> 00:07:19,785 when people say marriage is work It's true marriage is work. 123 00:07:19,785 --> 00:07:27,179 It requires two people who are mature enough to Discuss when things get you know 124 00:07:27,179 --> 00:07:32,111 when there's disagreements to be able to maturely have a conversation about 125 00:07:32,335 --> 00:07:35,266 what the issue is and how to come to a 126 00:07:36,282 --> 00:07:37,323 that's what it takes. 127 00:07:37,323 --> 00:07:41,565 And I don't think enough people let that be known. 128 00:07:43,106 --> 00:07:47,849 That was one of the things I struggled with when I went through my divorce was, 129 00:07:48,189 --> 00:07:50,900 I will be honest, I'm just gonna put it out there. 130 00:07:50,900 --> 00:07:54,942 So I've never really talked about this, but one of the reasons I married him was 131 00:07:54,942 --> 00:07:56,631 to save face. 132 00:07:57,193 --> 00:07:59,034 Everyone told me not to marry him. 133 00:07:59,034 --> 00:08:00,935 Everyone was like, girl, are you sure? 134 00:08:00,935 --> 00:08:03,016 And I was like, I love him. 135 00:08:03,016 --> 00:08:05,266 And they were like, yeah, but are you sure? 136 00:08:05,266 --> 00:08:12,940 And we had done all the stuff and we got everything ready and paid all the money 137 00:08:12,940 --> 00:08:15,521 and I didn't want to back out. 138 00:08:16,017 --> 00:08:22,053 because we had been engaged and broken up before and Then we were back on again and 139 00:08:22,053 --> 00:08:23,414 now the wedding was back on again. 140 00:08:23,414 --> 00:08:29,910 I didn't want to like you know Be off again again, so I was like no, it's fine 141 00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:38,018 even though two nights before we got married he put his hands on me and Looking 142 00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:41,701 back I wish then I should say you know what? 143 00:08:42,865 --> 00:08:47,787 If Tonya today was there then, no question. 144 00:08:49,148 --> 00:08:52,769 But at the time, I was much younger. 145 00:08:52,769 --> 00:08:57,701 was, you know, didn't have self -confidence and all that kind of stuff. 146 00:08:57,701 --> 00:09:01,933 And so I stayed and I went through with the marriage. 147 00:09:02,958 --> 00:09:07,985 So red flags present themselves and your gut is not lying. 148 00:09:07,985 --> 00:09:11,290 If you feel in your gut that this person's not right or something's wrong, you're 149 00:09:11,290 --> 00:09:13,692 most likely you're on to something. 150 00:09:14,946 --> 00:09:17,366 That is so accurate. 151 00:09:17,366 --> 00:09:21,326 We have a lot of parallels in our story with my second husband. 152 00:09:21,326 --> 00:09:26,606 We were together four years before we got married and we had broken up after we got 153 00:09:26,606 --> 00:09:28,486 engaged and gotten back together as well. 154 00:09:28,486 --> 00:09:33,866 So by that point, when you finally get to the wedding day, you're like, I'm this far 155 00:09:33,866 --> 00:09:36,046 in, I've got to commit to the bit. 156 00:09:36,046 --> 00:09:40,426 And sometimes, like as we can look back, hindsight's definitely 20 -20. 157 00:09:40,426 --> 00:09:42,326 Cause you're like, well, I know. 158 00:09:42,326 --> 00:09:44,127 girl don't run away. 159 00:09:44,127 --> 00:09:48,571 But when you're in that, you've got all the friends and family gathered and the 160 00:09:48,571 --> 00:09:52,193 time's there and you're just like, okay, well, we're gonna make the best of this. 161 00:09:52,193 --> 00:09:58,278 So I get that, you know, if we knew what we knew now, how different things would 162 00:09:58,278 --> 00:09:59,017 be. 163 00:09:59,123 --> 00:10:02,783 Yes, if I, you know, I have sons, but if I had a daughter. 164 00:10:03,089 --> 00:10:08,754 all the things I could teach her and tell her because I was always, you know, my 165 00:10:08,754 --> 00:10:12,557 parents joked about the fact that when I was little, I cried about everything. 166 00:10:12,557 --> 00:10:14,719 So they needed to toughen me up. 167 00:10:14,719 --> 00:10:17,912 And then they said, then we created a monster because then you were too tough. 168 00:10:17,912 --> 00:10:22,836 And I remember I was going on a date with this guy and he showed up, he was late and 169 00:10:22,836 --> 00:10:23,746 he was always late. 170 00:10:23,746 --> 00:10:24,617 And so I had enough. 171 00:10:24,617 --> 00:10:26,309 And so he showed up and I said, you're late. 172 00:10:26,309 --> 00:10:29,131 And I slammed the door in his face and I went back to my room. 173 00:10:29,131 --> 00:10:31,933 And my mom was like, did you just? 174 00:10:31,967 --> 00:10:35,830 Go tell him your story and stuff and I'm like, he was late. 175 00:10:35,830 --> 00:10:37,271 I mean, that's disrespectful. 176 00:10:37,271 --> 00:10:44,637 So I wish I'd kept that confidence, but what happened was after I had my first 177 00:10:44,637 --> 00:10:47,348 child, crazy me, I 178 00:10:48,039 --> 00:10:50,550 No one's ever gonna wanna marry me now. 179 00:10:50,550 --> 00:10:52,391 No one's ever gonna, I've gained weight. 180 00:10:52,391 --> 00:10:54,212 I wish I was that size now. 181 00:10:54,212 --> 00:10:55,172 I've gained weight. 182 00:10:55,172 --> 00:10:56,172 I have a child. 183 00:10:56,172 --> 00:10:57,853 I'm just gonna have to take what I can get. 184 00:10:57,853 --> 00:11:02,535 And that's the mindset that led me to accept some of the behavior that I 185 00:11:02,535 --> 00:11:04,876 accepted from my ex -husband. 186 00:11:04,876 --> 00:11:09,939 Because if I'd never gone into that mental space and still was, you know, shut the 187 00:11:09,939 --> 00:11:12,699 door to space, Tanya, we would have never got 188 00:11:12,871 --> 00:11:16,971 definitely 100 % agree with a lot of the things that you're saying, especially 189 00:11:16,971 --> 00:11:22,451 talking about normal relationships and healthy relationships, especially after 190 00:11:22,451 --> 00:11:23,291 toxic ones. 191 00:11:23,291 --> 00:11:26,143 You know what to expect from a toxic one and a bad one. 192 00:11:26,143 --> 00:11:30,104 but you go into an "regular" one and you think, this is perfect, especially like 193 00:11:30,104 --> 00:11:31,074 the honeymoon phase, right? 194 00:11:31,074 --> 00:11:32,405 Cause everything's perfect. 195 00:11:32,405 --> 00:11:33,665 You're not arguing. 196 00:11:33,665 --> 00:11:35,085 You're like, this is a whole new world. 197 00:11:35,085 --> 00:11:36,586 You're like Alice in Wonderland. 198 00:11:36,586 --> 00:11:40,877 And then you hit that first conflict as like a healthy couple and you're like, 199 00:11:40,877 --> 00:11:41,847 whoa, whoa. 200 00:11:41,847 --> 00:11:46,038 And I know I was kind of like, we went, I mean, we've been together three years and 201 00:11:46,038 --> 00:11:49,749 I can count on one hand our arguments because we really are like two peas in a 202 00:11:49,749 --> 00:11:53,320 pod, but we do have conflict without arguments. 203 00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:56,271 And when we hit that first conflict, it's 204 00:11:56,533 --> 00:11:58,136 is this as perfect as I thought it was? 205 00:11:58,136 --> 00:11:59,890 Because there's conflict. 206 00:11:59,890 --> 00:12:02,825 And then you have to kind of realize, like, conflict's not a bad thing 207 00:12:02,825 --> 00:12:03,626 necessarily. 208 00:12:03,626 --> 00:12:05,308 Everybody has conflict. 209 00:12:05,308 --> 00:12:07,679 Right, everybody does have conflict. 210 00:12:07,679 --> 00:12:11,232 We just think that they don't because it looks so perfect. 211 00:12:11,232 --> 00:12:13,143 So they probably never argue. 212 00:12:13,143 --> 00:12:17,245 Of course, knowing what I know now, I know that that's not true. 213 00:12:17,245 --> 00:12:19,506 But at the time, that's what I thought. 214 00:12:19,747 --> 00:12:24,149 I think it was we were a couple years in before we had our first argument because I 215 00:12:24,149 --> 00:12:26,951 was like you like, is this for real? 216 00:12:26,951 --> 00:12:28,932 Because we don't argue. 217 00:12:29,152 --> 00:12:32,234 I love a good debate like I am a debate. 218 00:12:32,566 --> 00:12:37,179 Love I love a healthy like this not disagreement so to speak but I love to 219 00:12:37,179 --> 00:12:41,372 talk to someone who has an opposing view My parents are we're always like you 220 00:12:41,372 --> 00:12:44,454 should be a lawyer should have been a lawyer I'm like I don't know school for 221 00:12:44,454 --> 00:12:51,978 that long though, but if to talk to people about why do you think that way? 222 00:12:51,978 --> 00:12:52,999 Well, what about this? 223 00:12:52,999 --> 00:12:57,882 And so I love that I can debate with him without it turning into an argument 224 00:12:58,416 --> 00:13:00,248 and the fact that he's smart. 225 00:13:00,248 --> 00:13:05,972 So I can talk to him about political things and, you know, what's in the news. 226 00:13:06,292 --> 00:13:11,607 But the funniest thing, our first argument was about whether or not we would get a 227 00:13:11,607 --> 00:13:14,199 dog after the dog died. 228 00:13:15,641 --> 00:13:25,849 Seems so silly now, but our first argument was he had a dog before we... 229 00:13:27,290 --> 00:13:29,151 Inherit it was my step dog. 230 00:13:29,151 --> 00:13:34,255 So he had a dog I'd never I didn't grow up with pets except for my goldfish who my 231 00:13:34,255 --> 00:13:37,217 sister's fish murdered We'll talk about that on another day. 232 00:13:37,217 --> 00:13:47,714 I got revenge But I didn't grow up with pets so It was new to me and I was just 233 00:13:47,714 --> 00:13:51,447 kind of like yeah Well, you know his dog was a little bit older and maybe the way I 234 00:13:51,447 --> 00:13:55,349 said this was insensitive looking back on it But I was just kind of like well 235 00:13:56,602 --> 00:14:00,913 You know, she was she was older so was like we probably won't get another dog 236 00:14:00,913 --> 00:14:07,875 when she passes and he was just like He totally went against what he said 237 00:14:07,875 --> 00:14:09,786 initially which was okay. 238 00:14:09,786 --> 00:14:13,297 Yeah, we won't and then all of a sudden it was like yeah I want another dog and I was 239 00:14:13,297 --> 00:14:17,878 like wait you didn't say that when we dating It's like we're married now. 240 00:14:17,878 --> 00:14:23,930 try to trick me in to get a dog It was the silliest thing 241 00:14:24,534 --> 00:14:26,140 I heard the bark. 242 00:14:26,140 --> 00:14:29,009 I heard the bark, so somebody won. 243 00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:36,365 First of all, I don't even know why I'm arguing about that because even though 244 00:14:36,365 --> 00:14:38,676 that was my step dog, I loved that dog. 245 00:14:38,796 --> 00:14:44,981 She tolerated me, but I think when we had to put her down, couldn't be, I sobbed. 246 00:14:44,981 --> 00:14:49,124 was like, I had to leave the room. 247 00:14:49,124 --> 00:14:52,896 And so then it was just weird not having a dog. 248 00:14:52,896 --> 00:14:58,770 So yeah, we did have a discussion though before we got the new dog. 249 00:14:58,792 --> 00:15:02,449 who was supposed to be my dog and here we are. 250 00:15:02,449 --> 00:15:03,960 funny how that works though? 251 00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:09,612 Because we always, I had a, my husband inherited a step dog. 252 00:15:09,612 --> 00:15:13,964 Cause I had a dog when we met, he was older, same thing, only it was my dog. 253 00:15:13,964 --> 00:15:18,356 And when he passed away, it was devastating. 254 00:15:18,356 --> 00:15:23,998 People don't talk about losing that dog was worse than losing most of my friends 255 00:15:23,998 --> 00:15:24,969 or family members. 256 00:15:24,969 --> 00:15:26,450 It was terrible. 257 00:15:26,450 --> 00:15:30,291 It was so bad that the next day, I impulse adopted. 258 00:15:30,555 --> 00:15:33,796 the dog that we have now. 259 00:15:33,796 --> 00:15:41,458 We have a golden retriever now that was supposed to be, first he was going to be 260 00:15:41,458 --> 00:15:45,339 my dog, then I'm like I'm not ready for a dog but I need a dog so you have the dog. 261 00:15:45,339 --> 00:15:49,401 So he was going to be my husband's dog and then we found out both when our daughter 262 00:15:49,401 --> 00:15:51,421 was born that it's the daughter's dog. 263 00:15:51,421 --> 00:15:55,943 That's Nora's dog, don't even look at him when she's around you don't exist. 264 00:15:55,943 --> 00:15:57,973 So it's funny how that works. 265 00:15:57,973 --> 00:16:00,830 But you can't, sometimes you just can't go without a 266 00:16:01,572 --> 00:16:05,454 No, but it is super heartbreaking because they don't live as long as us. 267 00:16:05,454 --> 00:16:11,590 And so the heartbreak of losing the dog, that is my daughter. 268 00:16:12,271 --> 00:16:17,615 So if anything happens to her, I will be in bereavement. 269 00:16:17,676 --> 00:16:20,378 I will not be OK. 270 00:16:20,378 --> 00:16:23,540 So, yeah, it's hard. 271 00:16:23,561 --> 00:16:25,903 again, he's like, I call him Dr. 272 00:16:25,903 --> 00:16:29,745 Doolittle, my husband, my husband, because animals love him. 273 00:16:30,130 --> 00:16:35,222 He, you know, he'll call me from work at lunchtime and I'll hear birds chirping and 274 00:16:35,222 --> 00:16:38,953 I'm like, are they like sitting on your shoulder like Snow White? 275 00:16:38,974 --> 00:16:44,066 Because that's just like in my mind, the animals just like, la la la la la, like 276 00:16:44,066 --> 00:16:47,257 they land on his shoulder. 277 00:16:48,098 --> 00:16:49,517 Meanwhile, I'm here. 278 00:16:49,517 --> 00:16:53,102 a second chance husband trait though, because my husband's the same way. 279 00:16:53,102 --> 00:16:56,316 So I feel like they come into your life and then they come in like snow white and 280 00:16:56,316 --> 00:16:57,548 all the animals love them. 281 00:16:57,548 --> 00:16:59,610 And that's how you know they're good guys. 282 00:17:00,676 --> 00:17:06,220 our first road trip he stood watch because there were birds out there and i'm scared 283 00:17:06,220 --> 00:17:13,505 of birds and i was eating my lunch and he was like watching and yeah because he was 284 00:17:13,505 --> 00:17:19,009 gonna shoo him away and i was like this guy's a keeper i'm keeping him because he 285 00:17:19,009 --> 00:17:23,302 will let me be my crazy bird phobia self and won't make fun of me 286 00:17:24,419 --> 00:17:28,321 That bird phobia is a real thing for you too. 287 00:17:28,321 --> 00:17:33,384 We got to meet in person and did our cleanup for those of you that don't know. 288 00:17:33,384 --> 00:17:35,785 We did a community cleanup with Mrs. 289 00:17:35,785 --> 00:17:42,829 California Earth at the time and we learned that Tanya is very afraid of birds 290 00:17:42,829 --> 00:17:47,591 and we were respectfully trying not to laugh but they were gunning for 291 00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:48,577 They 292 00:17:48,906 --> 00:17:53,969 Okay, so I want to touch on something that we mentioned kind of. 293 00:17:54,129 --> 00:17:56,151 You mentioned confidence. 294 00:17:56,151 --> 00:17:59,233 That word is like my pet project right now. 295 00:17:59,233 --> 00:18:01,104 I just launched a workshop. 296 00:18:01,104 --> 00:18:06,378 It's called Confidence Crown Workshops and it focuses on building confidence in girls 297 00:18:06,378 --> 00:18:08,639 and women because I have a theory. 298 00:18:08,775 --> 00:18:10,495 And maybe you can chime in on this. 299 00:18:10,495 --> 00:18:16,955 I have a theory that the abuse statistics, which for those that don't know, over 50 % 300 00:18:16,955 --> 00:18:20,255 of women in their lifetime at some point will be abused. 301 00:18:20,395 --> 00:18:26,975 And I have this theory that if we raise confidence numbers in women and raise 302 00:18:26,975 --> 00:18:31,635 confidence in women and girls, that that rate will significantly drop. 303 00:18:31,635 --> 00:18:36,115 Because every survivor that I've talked to that's been in a really bad relationship 304 00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:38,565 or tolerated something that they shouldn't have. 305 00:18:38,565 --> 00:18:40,677 did not have high confidence. 306 00:18:40,677 --> 00:18:47,661 So now I'm out here trying to make boss babes from four -year -olds up because 307 00:18:47,661 --> 00:18:49,202 that's my theory. 308 00:18:49,563 --> 00:18:56,247 in regards to confidence, if you could speak to girls or women today and send 309 00:18:56,247 --> 00:19:01,301 them a confidence tip or a positive message about confidence, what would you 310 00:19:01,301 --> 00:19:02,201 say? 311 00:19:03,162 --> 00:19:09,462 I would say that confidence is 100 % believing in yourself, your abilities, and 312 00:19:09,462 --> 00:19:10,582 your worth. 313 00:19:10,582 --> 00:19:15,522 And when you realize that your opinion is the only one that matters, you won't worry 314 00:19:15,522 --> 00:19:17,622 about what other people think. 315 00:19:18,802 --> 00:19:22,022 It's going back to what we were talking about earlier 316 00:19:23,032 --> 00:19:28,344 You will not tolerate certain things when you know your worth and you know that 317 00:19:28,344 --> 00:19:30,345 right is right, wrong is wrong. 318 00:19:30,345 --> 00:19:32,796 I'm not gonna stand for this because I don't have to. 319 00:19:32,796 --> 00:19:40,329 I will tell you, never ever say to yourself, well, no one's gonna want me 320 00:19:40,329 --> 00:19:43,070 because, because that's what abusers say. 321 00:19:43,438 --> 00:19:46,010 Don't say it to yourself because it's not true. 322 00:19:46,010 --> 00:19:48,281 I'm here to tell you, it's not true. 323 00:19:49,062 --> 00:19:50,283 It is so not true. 324 00:19:50,283 --> 00:19:54,566 You might feel that way or think that way, but you you can have your moments. 325 00:19:54,566 --> 00:19:57,908 Everybody can have their feelings, but then get out of that. 326 00:19:57,908 --> 00:20:00,550 Get out of that place because it's not true. 327 00:20:01,615 --> 00:20:02,796 That is a good one. 328 00:20:02,796 --> 00:20:06,168 And I feel like that is absolutely an abuser's go -to line. 329 00:20:06,168 --> 00:20:11,381 I still have a text message from my ex -husband that said, do you really think 330 00:20:11,381 --> 00:20:14,172 that anybody is gonna love you the way that you are? 331 00:20:14,172 --> 00:20:18,205 They're just gonna take what they want from you and abandon you over and over 332 00:20:18,205 --> 00:20:18,575 again. 333 00:20:18,575 --> 00:20:19,836 Nobody's gonna want you. 334 00:20:19,836 --> 00:20:22,167 I feel like that's their line. 335 00:20:22,167 --> 00:20:23,128 That's how they get you. 336 00:20:23,128 --> 00:20:25,599 And you think, okay, nobody's gonna want me. 337 00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:27,270 Nobody's gonna want my kids. 338 00:20:27,270 --> 00:20:28,591 Nobody's gonna 339 00:20:28,795 --> 00:20:32,607 you know, the baggage that I am now because of this situation. 340 00:20:32,607 --> 00:20:34,407 I used to always say, I'm broken, I'm broken. 341 00:20:34,407 --> 00:20:37,569 And my husband would say, you're not broken, you've got little bruises, and 342 00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:41,960 bruises heal, and then you're gonna be just like new, even better. 343 00:20:41,961 --> 00:20:45,632 So I feel like that is a very common thing with abusers. 344 00:20:45,632 --> 00:20:47,563 They want you to feel like you're 345 00:20:48,014 --> 00:20:53,558 They do, they want you to feel like they're the only one that can fill the 346 00:20:53,558 --> 00:20:59,583 void, whatever that void is, whether it's not wanting to be alone or not wanting to 347 00:20:59,583 --> 00:21:05,708 raise a child on your own or whatever the case may be, they find those insecurities 348 00:21:05,708 --> 00:21:12,313 and they exploit them and make you think, even if you don't say it back, if they say 349 00:21:12,313 --> 00:21:13,514 it enough, 350 00:21:13,612 --> 00:21:17,369 It gets into your head and you start thinking maybe no one will want me, maybe 351 00:21:17,369 --> 00:21:19,412 no one will, dah, dah, dah, dah. 352 00:21:19,814 --> 00:21:20,735 It's not true. 353 00:21:20,735 --> 00:21:22,637 Don't let them do that to you. 354 00:21:23,751 --> 00:21:28,531 agree 100 % and for confidence. 355 00:21:28,531 --> 00:21:34,511 I feel like everybody has one thing that they're kind of know weary of when maybe 356 00:21:34,511 --> 00:21:35,731 not so confident about. 357 00:21:35,731 --> 00:21:39,751 I know for me it's been my weight since I've had kids. 358 00:21:39,751 --> 00:21:42,651 I was a very skinny little girl in high school. 359 00:21:42,651 --> 00:21:43,451 I was tiny. 360 00:21:43,451 --> 00:21:50,451 I was a dancer and then as I've had kids the scale just gets a little bit higher. 361 00:21:50,465 --> 00:21:54,677 And I've struggled a lot with that, especially going into the pageantry world 362 00:21:54,677 --> 00:22:02,731 because I grew up watching Miss USA and all of these thin women as a plus size 363 00:22:02,731 --> 00:22:03,562 woman now. 364 00:22:03,562 --> 00:22:05,563 And I'm sure you can relate to this too. 365 00:22:05,563 --> 00:22:07,483 We are curvy queens. 366 00:22:08,064 --> 00:22:13,426 How do you feel about being in this industry that 367 00:22:14,491 --> 00:22:16,973 you know, we're kind of pushing the envelope a little bit. 368 00:22:16,973 --> 00:22:21,146 I'd say we're breaking ground there and pushing for inclusivity and I think that's 369 00:22:21,146 --> 00:22:22,597 amazing. 370 00:22:22,597 --> 00:22:29,303 So do you have any tips for girls or women that are curvier like us that may think 371 00:22:29,303 --> 00:22:33,926 that they can't do something because they're curvy? 372 00:22:33,926 --> 00:22:35,307 What would you say to 373 00:22:35,662 --> 00:22:36,542 Well, 374 00:22:37,047 --> 00:22:42,614 you a little bit about my pageant journey and where I'm at now with that. 375 00:22:42,614 --> 00:22:49,114 So I started out, did not do pageants when I was younger and I've never been skinny. 376 00:22:49,114 --> 00:22:51,874 I've always been thick and fabulous. 377 00:22:52,594 --> 00:23:00,334 So when I was smaller, I think in high school I was maybe around the size eight, 378 00:23:00,334 --> 00:23:01,774 eight, 10. 379 00:23:01,774 --> 00:23:07,514 And then as puberty hit and I started filling out even more, maybe like 14 -ish. 380 00:23:07,514 --> 00:23:12,828 So I was never small, but I was very athletic and involved in 381 00:23:12,828 --> 00:23:15,509 dance and color guard and that kind of stuff. 382 00:23:15,569 --> 00:23:22,551 But as you have children and your hormones do what they do to your body after having 383 00:23:22,551 --> 00:23:28,622 children, it is hard to maintain a fabulous physique especially if you also 384 00:23:28,622 --> 00:23:31,153 have life stuff going on. 385 00:23:31,354 --> 00:23:32,886 You also have 386 00:23:32,886 --> 00:23:35,846 you know, parenthood, maybe single parenthood. 387 00:23:35,846 --> 00:23:36,886 So that was my story. 388 00:23:36,886 --> 00:23:39,066 never, I could not get into pageants. 389 00:23:39,066 --> 00:23:42,766 When I was able to do pageantry, I was already married. 390 00:23:42,766 --> 00:23:45,006 So it had to be a Mrs. 391 00:23:45,126 --> 00:23:45,586 thing. 392 00:23:45,586 --> 00:23:49,026 I felt safer doing Mrs. 393 00:23:49,026 --> 00:23:54,846 pageantry because I thought they'll understand I'm curvy, but I've had 394 00:23:54,846 --> 00:23:55,366 children. 395 00:23:55,366 --> 00:24:00,086 I'm not a spring, well, I'm a spring chicken, but I'm not 20. 396 00:24:00,306 --> 00:24:02,678 You know, I 397 00:24:02,678 --> 00:24:04,378 I'm 46. 398 00:24:04,378 --> 00:24:06,858 Like, I am not young. 399 00:24:06,858 --> 00:24:12,838 So I, to me, I thought that that would alleviate some of the misconceptions about 400 00:24:12,838 --> 00:24:14,638 body image and pageantry. 401 00:24:15,158 --> 00:24:17,698 Unfortunately, I found that not to be the case. 402 00:24:17,778 --> 00:24:20,038 I did compete in my first pageant. 403 00:24:20,038 --> 00:24:21,898 It was Miss Plus America. 404 00:24:21,998 --> 00:24:25,918 And I did that because I felt safe in a plus pageant. 405 00:24:25,918 --> 00:24:28,098 So I was like, everyone is plus size. 406 00:24:28,098 --> 00:24:31,438 So I don't have to worry about, oh, she's this, she's that. 407 00:24:31,666 --> 00:24:33,018 They're still biased there. 408 00:24:33,018 --> 00:24:37,914 There are people who would be like she's not plus size my girl What are you not 409 00:24:37,914 --> 00:24:39,355 looking at the same? 410 00:24:40,437 --> 00:24:44,982 yes But then there's also 411 00:24:45,108 --> 00:24:46,099 the other side of it. 412 00:24:46,099 --> 00:24:50,641 if you can't compete in a plus size pageant because you're too small, so to 413 00:24:50,641 --> 00:24:55,343 speak, without getting some kind of backlash, but then if you go to a straight 414 00:24:55,343 --> 00:24:57,704 size pageant, now you're too large. 415 00:24:57,704 --> 00:25:03,987 So really what I would like to see is the pageant world being more inclusive of all 416 00:25:03,987 --> 00:25:04,677 body types. 417 00:25:04,677 --> 00:25:07,919 And there are women competing that are all body types. 418 00:25:07,919 --> 00:25:14,432 Unfortunately, the big pageants, Miss Universe, Miss USA, Miss America, even I'm 419 00:25:14,432 --> 00:25:15,232 not seeing 420 00:25:15,232 --> 00:25:18,194 I'm not seeing diverse body types crowned. 421 00:25:18,355 --> 00:25:24,970 I'm seeing them compete as in we'll take your money But I'm not seeing crowns on 422 00:25:24,970 --> 00:25:29,914 heads of women who look like me and until that happens Well, I don't want to say I'm 423 00:25:29,914 --> 00:25:33,666 gonna keep competing because I think this is my last year but not because of that 424 00:25:34,087 --> 00:25:39,771 Just because it's time but I will say I want girls to keep competing keep 425 00:25:39,771 --> 00:25:40,242 competing. 426 00:25:40,242 --> 00:25:43,694 Don't let them keep that 427 00:25:44,475 --> 00:25:46,477 if they don't see you, they can't crown you. 428 00:25:46,477 --> 00:25:48,378 You just have to keep showing 429 00:25:50,686 --> 00:25:55,687 relate and that's I was so proud to see how well you did at Mrs. 430 00:25:55,687 --> 00:26:02,527 USA Earth you were top 10 and so that was amazing seeing curvy your body top 10 I 431 00:26:02,527 --> 00:26:11,547 was hoping that you would wind up in the top five with the crown on your head I was 432 00:26:11,547 --> 00:26:17,087 hoping I was gonna be up there too we were gonna represent but that didn't pan out 433 00:26:17,087 --> 00:26:19,727 but I agree 434 00:26:19,727 --> 00:26:24,407 I think all systems need to be more inclusive. 435 00:26:24,407 --> 00:26:28,187 And I think we're definitely working in the right direction. 436 00:26:28,947 --> 00:26:34,907 But it is very discouraging when you fall in the gray area, like you and I do. 437 00:26:34,907 --> 00:26:36,927 I'm a size 14, 16. 438 00:26:36,927 --> 00:26:38,367 I'm the mid -size. 439 00:26:38,367 --> 00:26:40,427 Not really plus size, not really. 440 00:26:40,427 --> 00:26:43,287 But in the pageant world, I'm definitely plus size. 441 00:26:43,577 --> 00:26:47,191 in that like gray awkward area. 442 00:26:47,191 --> 00:26:51,074 And then it's hard finding a place that you really belong. 443 00:26:51,074 --> 00:26:56,579 And I feel, I think it's great that we have plus size pageantry, but at the same 444 00:26:56,579 --> 00:27:02,905 thing you experienced that there was still a discord there, there was still, you 445 00:27:04,647 --> 00:27:06,199 know, a disconnect. 446 00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:11,060 going to say like, you know, and plus patents are there and I'm glad that 447 00:27:11,060 --> 00:27:15,940 they're there, because obviously, you know, as being Miss Plus America 2021, 448 00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:20,940 that was my first pageant and and that I will always be grateful for that 449 00:27:20,940 --> 00:27:21,700 opportunity. 450 00:27:21,700 --> 00:27:24,200 But I wanted to compete. 451 00:27:24,686 --> 00:27:26,838 in a non -niche pageant. 452 00:27:26,838 --> 00:27:30,421 I didn't want to be Miss Plus Anything, Miss Black Anything, Miss Whatever. 453 00:27:30,421 --> 00:27:33,644 I wanted to just be Miss or Mrs. 454 00:27:33,644 --> 00:27:34,685 Whatever. 455 00:27:34,685 --> 00:27:37,508 Like, Mrs. 456 00:27:37,508 --> 00:27:38,549 USA, Mrs. 457 00:27:38,549 --> 00:27:39,029 Whatever. 458 00:27:39,029 --> 00:27:46,796 But you have to find the right system that is going to truly embrace diversity. 459 00:27:47,205 --> 00:27:51,056 I think I've found that in the system that I'm competing in now. 460 00:27:51,056 --> 00:27:52,059 We'll see. 461 00:27:52,059 --> 00:27:55,667 But I mean, I do because I wouldn't I would not 462 00:27:55,772 --> 00:28:01,237 compete in a system if I didn't feel that there was an opportunity for diversity, 463 00:28:01,237 --> 00:28:05,039 not just with race, but also body types. 464 00:28:05,280 --> 00:28:06,251 I saw that with Mrs. 465 00:28:06,251 --> 00:28:10,464 USA Earth when I watched their competition before I competed. 466 00:28:10,464 --> 00:28:13,947 And I was like, wow, look at, I mean, it wasn't just size. 467 00:28:13,947 --> 00:28:16,269 was also, there was a woman in a wheelchair. 468 00:28:16,269 --> 00:28:18,431 It was, I was like, this is it. 469 00:28:18,431 --> 00:28:20,353 This is where I'm going, you know? 470 00:28:20,353 --> 00:28:24,256 So I just want to see more of that. 471 00:28:24,326 --> 00:28:26,957 but more crowns for deserving women. 472 00:28:26,957 --> 00:28:33,049 Because if the only reason you don't crown me is because I'm not a size six or four, 473 00:28:33,049 --> 00:28:36,000 then that's your loss, unfortunately. 474 00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:38,431 Because I have a lot to offer as a title holder. 475 00:28:38,431 --> 00:28:40,542 I'll be a great representative. 476 00:28:40,542 --> 00:28:43,813 And if you're looking at my size as a reason not to crown me, then that's 477 00:28:43,813 --> 00:28:44,413 unfortunate. 478 00:28:44,413 --> 00:28:45,703 And that's on you. 479 00:28:45,703 --> 00:28:47,104 And my dog is. 480 00:28:48,217 --> 00:28:50,477 I relate 100%. 481 00:28:50,477 --> 00:28:55,717 That is why I also chose the system that I'm in with International Ms. 482 00:28:55,717 --> 00:28:58,737 It's obviously different from your system, but the same thing. 483 00:28:58,737 --> 00:29:02,257 I watched the type of title holders that they had. 484 00:29:02,837 --> 00:29:08,017 I'm gonna be interviewing, I think next week, Whitley, who was at our pageant 485 00:29:08,017 --> 00:29:09,317 volunteering. 486 00:29:09,317 --> 00:29:13,097 She was backstage and she was fantastic. 487 00:29:13,097 --> 00:29:17,077 And when I watched International Ms, she was an outgoing queen. 488 00:29:18,049 --> 00:29:23,221 And I saw her and I went, my gosh, she's tattooed like I am and she's not covering 489 00:29:23,221 --> 00:29:24,211 them. 490 00:29:24,371 --> 00:29:26,672 She's got a beautiful body. 491 00:29:26,672 --> 00:29:31,994 And I thought, okay, they crowned her, so I've got a shot. 492 00:29:31,994 --> 00:29:37,176 And I think we need to definitely see more pageants that are willing to do that, that 493 00:29:37,176 --> 00:29:41,173 are willing to put crowns on the heads of women. 494 00:29:41,173 --> 00:29:44,733 that are beautiful that are at different stages in life. 495 00:29:44,733 --> 00:29:49,193 If you're going to break the age barrier, the way some of the organizations have 496 00:29:49,193 --> 00:29:53,233 moved to, they've now said you can compete if you're married, you can compete at any 497 00:29:53,233 --> 00:29:54,153 age. 498 00:29:54,273 --> 00:29:58,733 Why can't we break that barrier if you can compete if you're Kirby? 499 00:30:00,113 --> 00:30:08,593 expecting a 70 year old woman to compete that is a size zero, it's just not exactly 500 00:30:08,593 --> 00:30:09,203 fair. 501 00:30:09,203 --> 00:30:13,699 I think we need to, you know, we're headed in the right direction, but I would love 502 00:30:13,699 --> 00:30:19,377 to see, just like you said, more diversity and inclusive sizing and putting the 503 00:30:19,377 --> 00:30:24,563 crowns on the heads of those women because we want to move away from the shallow 504 00:30:24,563 --> 00:30:26,105 house society, I think. 505 00:30:26,105 --> 00:30:27,504 I think it's time. 506 00:30:27,504 --> 00:30:29,965 Yeah, it's way, way overdue. 507 00:30:29,965 --> 00:30:36,616 And I'm still, the jury's still out on like the Miss, Miss USA organization as an 508 00:30:36,616 --> 00:30:39,867 example, you know, raising the age limit and that kind of thing. 509 00:30:39,867 --> 00:30:43,848 When they crown a woman who's married over a certain age, then I'll be convinced that 510 00:30:43,848 --> 00:30:47,949 that was a genuine push for inclusion. 511 00:30:48,490 --> 00:30:52,151 and not a, we'll take your money, but you're not going to win. 512 00:30:52,151 --> 00:30:56,832 I just, I hope, yeah, I hope that that's not what the case is, 513 00:30:57,573 --> 00:31:01,776 Unfortunately, until I see it, I won't know that that's genuine. 514 00:31:01,834 --> 00:31:07,926 love to see almost a more defined way of judging, because something I've learned 515 00:31:07,926 --> 00:31:11,197 with pageantry is it's also so subjective. 516 00:31:11,197 --> 00:31:15,418 And I can say that being a judge, you I'm sure you've judged pageants, I've judged 517 00:31:15,418 --> 00:31:18,689 pageants, and when you're sitting there in that chair, it's very subjective. 518 00:31:18,689 --> 00:31:22,700 It's what you're looking for at that point in time. 519 00:31:22,700 --> 00:31:25,801 And I'd love to see some sort of centralized 520 00:31:26,117 --> 00:31:35,176 not rubric, but form of judging come out so that there's even playing fields for 521 00:31:35,176 --> 00:31:36,808 everybody, everywhere. 522 00:31:36,808 --> 00:31:38,329 I think that'd be great. 523 00:31:38,478 --> 00:31:41,959 Yeah, I think transparency in judging. 524 00:31:41,959 --> 00:31:46,731 I think someone had mentioned one time about the Miss USA scores maybe being 525 00:31:46,731 --> 00:31:52,303 televised when the contestants are walking, kind of like they do with the 526 00:31:52,303 --> 00:31:53,254 Olympics. 527 00:31:53,254 --> 00:31:54,394 You see their scores. 528 00:31:54,394 --> 00:31:55,945 That would be really cool. 529 00:31:55,945 --> 00:31:59,396 It could go. 530 00:31:59,436 --> 00:32:03,999 Either way, think like, you know, because if I'm a judge and I'm watching someone 531 00:32:03,999 --> 00:32:07,361 and I think, you know, she doesn't look very confident right now. 532 00:32:07,361 --> 00:32:10,943 And I'm, and someone else is like, I love her dress and my gosh. 533 00:32:10,943 --> 00:32:15,655 So our scores might be very different, but if you drop the highest and the lowest 534 00:32:15,655 --> 00:32:19,108 scores and or something like that, I think you're onto something. 535 00:32:19,108 --> 00:32:24,951 If there was some kind of formula to keep people from really. 536 00:32:25,558 --> 00:32:30,053 know, skewing the numbers with their judging. 537 00:32:30,395 --> 00:32:34,600 I think that it could be helpful, but I would love to see scores to know what the 538 00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:40,579 judges gave them because I think that's, it should be available to the people 539 00:32:40,579 --> 00:32:41,549 watching. 540 00:32:42,511 --> 00:32:43,307 Yeah. 541 00:32:43,307 --> 00:32:46,061 not buying scores. 542 00:32:49,597 --> 00:32:53,623 That's been a trend in some systems, buying scores. 543 00:32:53,623 --> 00:32:54,493 No. 544 00:32:54,493 --> 00:32:56,254 and that's sad too. 545 00:32:56,254 --> 00:33:03,449 I know some systems don't even offer the scores, but hopefully most systems will 546 00:33:03,449 --> 00:33:07,432 get on board with offering, not only offering, but also offering them at no 547 00:33:07,432 --> 00:33:08,402 charge. 548 00:33:08,719 --> 00:33:13,467 Yeah, that would be a great standard industry practice. 549 00:33:13,476 --> 00:33:15,310 Yes, I agree. 550 00:33:15,343 --> 00:33:17,944 I wanna do something a little bit fun. 551 00:33:18,094 --> 00:33:22,378 done this with anybody yet because you're my first official guest but this is going 552 00:33:22,378 --> 00:33:28,753 to be a new tradition that I'm doing and I want to know if I had to give my second 553 00:33:28,753 --> 00:33:34,408 chance queen crown away to a celebrity or a famous person not this one because I 554 00:33:34,408 --> 00:33:39,562 love this one but if I gave my title of second chance queen up who would you 555 00:33:39,562 --> 00:33:44,566 designate the honorary second chance queen I want to I want to create a Hall of Fame 556 00:33:44,566 --> 00:33:47,168 of honorary second chance queens 557 00:33:47,353 --> 00:33:49,791 Gosh, this is a hard question. 558 00:33:50,502 --> 00:33:51,824 That's a fun... 559 00:33:53,301 --> 00:33:59,243 Gosh, I don't know, but for now I'm thinking Celine Dion, only because I've 560 00:33:59,243 --> 00:34:01,133 seen her on TV lately. 561 00:34:01,252 --> 00:34:04,334 And I think she's got quite a story. 562 00:34:04,334 --> 00:34:09,196 She's been through a lot and she is trying to make her comeback. 563 00:34:09,196 --> 00:34:13,967 And I think that it would probably be like her third or fourth chance, but I think 564 00:34:13,967 --> 00:34:16,068 she's got quite the comeback story. 565 00:34:16,068 --> 00:34:21,679 So I think Celine Dion would be someone I think would have a shot at the crowd. 566 00:34:22,170 --> 00:34:23,711 that Celine Dion's amazing. 567 00:34:23,711 --> 00:34:28,583 I just watched a video about her being so kind to a fan during an interaction and it 568 00:34:28,583 --> 00:34:32,174 made my heart so happy to see a kind celebrity. 569 00:34:32,174 --> 00:34:32,524 I 570 00:34:33,004 --> 00:34:42,187 think my honorary choice would be Taylor Swift because I'm kind of in my Swiftie 571 00:34:42,187 --> 00:34:43,908 era right now. 572 00:34:44,420 --> 00:34:46,481 I've never been a huge Taylor Swift fan. 573 00:34:46,481 --> 00:34:49,863 I didn't not like her I just was not one of those girls that's followed her from 574 00:34:49,863 --> 00:34:54,926 the very beginning but her latest album the tortured poets 575 00:34:55,666 --> 00:35:02,620 is Been my obsessive Album that I'm playing on repeat right now and a lot of 576 00:35:02,620 --> 00:35:08,223 it is relating to I feel like she's in an era very similar to us She's gotten out of 577 00:35:08,223 --> 00:35:11,975 a bad relationship or a long relationship that didn't 578 00:35:12,027 --> 00:35:16,449 She got some tortured music out there and now she's in her so high school era where 579 00:35:16,449 --> 00:35:21,092 she's like in love and she's got Travis Kelce and it's fantastic. 580 00:35:21,092 --> 00:35:25,454 So I think I would make Taylor Swift an honorary second chance queen too. 581 00:35:25,454 --> 00:35:26,654 Hi, Taylor. 582 00:35:26,936 --> 00:35:28,352 That's valid, that's 583 00:35:28,584 --> 00:35:34,149 If you became famous tomorrow and you had a published quote, like this was going to 584 00:35:34,149 --> 00:35:38,252 be the quote that was attached to your 585 00:35:38,420 --> 00:35:40,066 what would you like it to 586 00:35:40,946 --> 00:35:44,688 if God brought you to it, he can bring you through it. 587 00:35:44,829 --> 00:35:49,892 That is one of the ones that I live by because I really think that, you know, 588 00:35:49,892 --> 00:35:53,353 you're never alone, truly, when you have God. 589 00:35:53,894 --> 00:35:56,955 And so you can always make your test your testimony. 590 00:35:57,156 --> 00:36:01,918 And I think that that's what I'm doing in my daily life. 591 00:36:02,139 --> 00:36:05,931 In everything that I do when I do have an opportunity to speak about stuff that I've 592 00:36:05,931 --> 00:36:06,371 been through. 593 00:36:06,371 --> 00:36:07,021 It 594 00:36:07,707 --> 00:36:13,990 along those lines of, you know, I went through this, but I came out on the other 595 00:36:13,990 --> 00:36:15,771 side better for it. 596 00:36:16,211 --> 00:36:20,813 Didn't think at the time that it was gonna work out, but it's going to be fine. 597 00:36:21,314 --> 00:36:23,814 And so that's what I try to live 598 00:36:24,150 --> 00:36:26,770 Love that, that is a fantastic quote. 599 00:36:26,771 --> 00:36:29,782 know you're competing for Mrs. 600 00:36:29,782 --> 00:36:31,292 United States, you're Mrs. 601 00:36:31,292 --> 00:36:32,903 Florida United States. 602 00:36:32,903 --> 00:36:37,975 Tell us when your pageant is so we can watch and root for you and cheer for 603 00:36:37,975 --> 00:36:38,985 Florida. 604 00:36:39,388 --> 00:36:43,301 So our pageant is October 5th through the 9th. 605 00:36:43,301 --> 00:36:45,265 It's in Memphis, Tennessee. 606 00:36:45,980 --> 00:36:49,501 And it will be available to live stream. 607 00:36:49,582 --> 00:36:56,865 So just follow the United States national pageants on Instagram and Facebook and you 608 00:36:56,865 --> 00:37:02,448 can stay up to date with all the the pageant competition happenings to see 609 00:37:02,448 --> 00:37:04,089 what's happening there. 610 00:37:04,089 --> 00:37:05,769 I'm so excited. 611 00:37:05,769 --> 00:37:11,412 I'm nervous because it's a new system, but I'm it's a good nervous like I don't I 612 00:37:11,412 --> 00:37:15,734 don't know what why I'm like this, but I don't really get nervous like about 613 00:37:15,734 --> 00:37:21,579 doing interview or being on stage, that to me comes kind of naturally. 614 00:37:22,280 --> 00:37:27,144 It's more the stress of the prep, so to speak. 615 00:37:27,144 --> 00:37:33,940 The finding the gown, the rehearsing and all the things, making sure that you pack 616 00:37:33,940 --> 00:37:37,344 everything and the travel, that's what I get nervous 617 00:37:37,703 --> 00:37:41,803 pageantry is such a huge universe, but it's also so small. 618 00:37:41,982 --> 00:37:43,073 It is, it is. 619 00:37:43,073 --> 00:37:47,305 And once you compete with people, get to know them and you like them, you connect 620 00:37:47,305 --> 00:37:50,827 and you still follow them, even if they're, whether they're competing or not. 621 00:37:50,827 --> 00:37:52,297 But I have so many people. 622 00:37:52,297 --> 00:37:54,709 love to just share them on, watch what they're doing. 623 00:37:54,709 --> 00:37:57,710 Like last weekend, who was it that competed last weekend? 624 00:37:58,518 --> 00:38:00,579 our friends from, from Mrs. 625 00:38:00,579 --> 00:38:05,180 USA Earth, had Tara, she was North Carolina the year that I, the first year I 626 00:38:05,180 --> 00:38:05,660 competed. 627 00:38:05,660 --> 00:38:12,022 And then Lindsay, who was fire, they both did the, USOA pageant last weekend and I 628 00:38:12,022 --> 00:38:13,242 was glued. 629 00:38:13,242 --> 00:38:15,603 I was like, I, yes, I spent the money. 630 00:38:15,603 --> 00:38:17,383 I watched the lives. 631 00:38:17,383 --> 00:38:22,304 And as you mentioned, it's subjective because I knew I had a winner. 632 00:38:22,445 --> 00:38:25,876 And when my winner didn't win, I was like, that's, I'm closing the laptop. 633 00:38:25,876 --> 00:38:27,626 I don't want to watch no more. 634 00:38:28,047 --> 00:38:29,481 I'm so mad. 635 00:38:29,481 --> 00:38:34,242 So you never know what you didn't see behind closed doors. 636 00:38:35,364 --> 00:38:39,537 I I loved, I root for Lindsay all the time. 637 00:38:39,537 --> 00:38:42,970 Whenever I see her anywhere, I'm like, Lindsay, you're awesome. 638 00:38:42,970 --> 00:38:49,716 And then I did that with Halle Pouncey, who was Indiana when we competed. 639 00:38:49,716 --> 00:38:56,911 I rented that livestream and my husband and myself and the baby screamed at that 640 00:38:56,911 --> 00:39:00,324 TV through the intros and we were like, there she is. 641 00:39:00,324 --> 00:39:03,827 He has probably videos of me acting a fool over Haley. 642 00:39:03,827 --> 00:39:05,378 Haley, we love you. 643 00:39:06,453 --> 00:39:12,438 someone I know is competing trust I'm following I'm looking I'm the results if 644 00:39:12,438 --> 00:39:15,711 nothing else if I'm not watching it live I'm at least keeping up on social media so 645 00:39:15,711 --> 00:39:21,235 I could be like I'm I'm everybody's cheerleader if you're a nice person and 646 00:39:21,235 --> 00:39:24,378 you're a good human I'm going to cheer for you 647 00:39:25,808 --> 00:39:29,060 Sisterhood is definitely, it's huge in pageantry. 648 00:39:29,060 --> 00:39:33,584 I feel like pageantry gets a bad rap for cattiness and like, you know, people have 649 00:39:33,584 --> 00:39:35,095 their misconceptions about it. 650 00:39:35,095 --> 00:39:41,710 But the sisterhood that I've built with just my very first pageant this year has 651 00:39:41,710 --> 00:39:42,841 been crazy. 652 00:39:42,841 --> 00:39:47,754 I'm like rooting for all these women that I spent a couple hours with in person, but 653 00:39:47,754 --> 00:39:51,147 we see each other on social media for so long and it's funny, because you were 654 00:39:51,147 --> 00:39:53,326 competitors at one point. 655 00:39:53,326 --> 00:39:57,451 and you're competing for the same title, but you're still also rooting for this 656 00:39:57,451 --> 00:39:57,791 girl. 657 00:39:57,791 --> 00:40:01,636 And then it's kind of like a relief when you're not competing anymore, because now 658 00:40:01,636 --> 00:40:03,568 you're rooting for her for everything. 659 00:40:03,568 --> 00:40:06,852 And it's like, okay, I cannot root against myself now. 660 00:40:07,011 --> 00:40:12,523 Yes, and that's sad because even though there's only one crown, and that's why 661 00:40:12,523 --> 00:40:15,964 I've always said you've got to get something out of pageantry besides the the 662 00:40:15,964 --> 00:40:21,515 crown, or it just won't be for you because everyone except the winner is going to be 663 00:40:21,515 --> 00:40:22,395 disappointed. 664 00:40:22,395 --> 00:40:28,097 So make it a good experience for yourself and try to get as much as you can out of 665 00:40:28,097 --> 00:40:28,857 it. 666 00:40:29,017 --> 00:40:30,178 Enjoy it. 667 00:40:30,178 --> 00:40:31,848 And if you win, that's even better. 668 00:40:31,848 --> 00:40:34,732 And if you don't, at least you got something out of the experience. 669 00:40:34,808 --> 00:40:39,905 before I let you go, you mentioned it when we were talking and you mentioned it 670 00:40:39,905 --> 00:40:44,642 briefly in the beginning of this conversation how you think this is your 671 00:40:44,642 --> 00:40:46,484 last pageant. 672 00:40:48,478 --> 00:40:52,911 Is there a chance we can still see Tanya again in the future? 673 00:40:53,472 --> 00:40:55,053 Is this a hard close? 674 00:40:55,053 --> 00:40:57,315 Are you like sure about that? 675 00:40:57,315 --> 00:41:03,539 Or could we see a second chance queen revival with Tanya coming back in the 676 00:41:03,539 --> 00:41:04,560 future? 677 00:41:05,483 --> 00:41:07,083 will never say never. 678 00:41:07,204 --> 00:41:12,455 Just like I really thought, and I feel silly now, that I was going to return to 679 00:41:12,455 --> 00:41:14,806 USA Earth after competing. 680 00:41:14,806 --> 00:41:17,146 I thought if I do compete again, it's gonna be there. 681 00:41:17,146 --> 00:41:20,187 And then I did some soul searching and decided, you know what, I'm gonna give 682 00:41:20,187 --> 00:41:21,787 another system a try. 683 00:41:23,108 --> 00:41:24,848 So I'll never say never. 684 00:41:25,409 --> 00:41:30,210 But I have things that I'm looking forward to. 685 00:41:30,210 --> 00:41:34,311 We have our third grandchild that's turning one in September. 686 00:41:34,763 --> 00:41:38,822 We have, know, my youngest son is 18. 687 00:41:38,822 --> 00:41:41,263 He just graduated from high school. 688 00:41:41,923 --> 00:41:46,723 You know, my mom, my dad passed away earlier this year and my mom is now a 689 00:41:46,723 --> 00:41:47,403 widow. 690 00:41:47,403 --> 00:41:54,163 so it's just family stuff is really what I'll be spending more time on going 691 00:41:54,163 --> 00:41:55,103 forward. 692 00:41:55,103 --> 00:42:00,303 Being a title holder is, it's a job, you know, one that I love. 693 00:42:00,303 --> 00:42:02,103 I enjoy and that's why. 694 00:42:02,912 --> 00:42:08,876 But I think it's just, you know, I want to take this last pageant and if I win, I 695 00:42:09,137 --> 00:42:11,659 hope I win so I can go out with a bang. 696 00:42:11,659 --> 00:42:17,964 And like I have some really great ideas for my year. 697 00:42:17,964 --> 00:42:23,159 Whether I win or not, I'm doing stuff for the next year under either this title or 698 00:42:23,159 --> 00:42:23,739 Mrs. 699 00:42:23,739 --> 00:42:24,830 United States. 700 00:42:24,830 --> 00:42:27,362 And then after that, I will most likely be done. 701 00:42:27,362 --> 00:42:30,378 But the doors got this much of a crack in it. 702 00:42:30,437 --> 00:42:34,780 because I feel like going out as A national title holder makes it a little 703 00:42:34,780 --> 00:42:36,793 bit easier definitely 704 00:42:36,865 --> 00:42:41,880 yes, puts a nice little period on the end of the sentence. 705 00:42:42,161 --> 00:42:46,285 Like I did this and it was great and it was beautiful and I'm done now. 706 00:42:46,285 --> 00:42:48,918 Like I feel like that's what I've been kind of waiting on. 707 00:42:48,918 --> 00:42:54,034 Like I want to get to a certain level or do something and then I can be satisfied 708 00:42:54,034 --> 00:42:54,804 and be done. 709 00:42:54,804 --> 00:42:55,051 But 710 00:42:55,699 --> 00:42:56,841 I'll be rooting for you. 711 00:42:56,841 --> 00:42:58,484 I've got my fingers crossed. 712 00:42:58,484 --> 00:42:59,877 I'll be rooting for you. 713 00:42:59,877 --> 00:43:03,100 I'll be cheering at the screens for you. 714 00:43:03,100 --> 00:43:05,871 Thank you and I'll be doing the same. 715 00:43:06,739 --> 00:43:10,880 I I told my husband, I said, international Ms. 716 00:43:10,880 --> 00:43:12,320 is my system. 717 00:43:12,561 --> 00:43:14,671 I'm gonna walk away with a crown. 718 00:43:14,671 --> 00:43:15,812 I don't know if it'll be this year. 719 00:43:15,812 --> 00:43:17,372 I don't know if it'll be next year. 720 00:43:17,372 --> 00:43:22,944 If it takes five years, I'm sorry darling, but this is the system that I just 721 00:43:22,944 --> 00:43:26,284 resonate so much on a personal level. 722 00:43:26,284 --> 00:43:30,506 It's all about empowering women and that's what I'm out here doing all the time. 723 00:43:30,506 --> 00:43:33,446 So I'm like, this is the one for me. 724 00:43:33,446 --> 00:43:35,767 So hopefully both of us can. 725 00:43:36,325 --> 00:43:42,346 secure those crowns this fall and then we can reign and then we can you know put the 726 00:43:42,346 --> 00:43:46,971 feather in our caps and say okay it's time to focus on something else. 727 00:43:46,971 --> 00:43:48,982 to other initiatives. 728 00:43:48,982 --> 00:43:50,662 I will always be doing something. 729 00:43:50,662 --> 00:43:59,445 I will always be active in my community and advocating for those who don't have a 730 00:43:59,445 --> 00:44:02,536 platform, so to speak, to amplify their message. 731 00:44:02,676 --> 00:44:07,527 Whether I have a crown as my platform or whether it's another organization or my 732 00:44:07,527 --> 00:44:09,438 own organization, I'm going 733 00:44:09,890 --> 00:44:12,115 always be working towards that. 734 00:44:12,115 --> 00:44:13,678 So we'll see. 735 00:44:13,678 --> 00:44:15,400 We'll just see what happens. 736 00:44:16,023 --> 00:44:20,549 relate but I will definitely be rooting for you and so will all of our listeners. 737 00:44:20,730 --> 00:44:22,858 Make sure you go and follow 738 00:44:23,454 --> 00:44:30,294 Thank you everybody for listening to myself and Tanya chat this evening and 739 00:44:30,294 --> 00:44:33,514 make sure you follow her on socials to keep up with Mrs. 740 00:44:33,514 --> 00:44:35,794 Florida United States 2024. 741 00:44:35,794 --> 00:44:37,194 Tanya Holloway.