If I can't be a hero, I'll be a god pirate.
Thurston, I jump one foot in the air.
Tounterspell!
I would like to grapple the puppet.
It was just a child's toy.
I jump off the boat.
Are you going to stab me 97 times?
Actually, 87 was the number.
All right, everybody!
Let's make Venus wish come true!
Who's ready, everybody, to play some Rat Grime?
I'm really looking forward to the episode of Rat Grime today.
I think it's going to be one of your best episodes.
You know, I'm looking forward to what's about to happen
because nothing bad's going to happen at all.
Yeah, nothing bad will happen.
You cannot introduce funny little guys
with their sweet little voices so often
and then kill them horribly!
We have, uh...
Have you watched the show?
I hope we can get through this.
Rockwind! It's a world in decay!
Look, it's on the title and everything!
No, it's a title right now.
It's a journey through time.
Yeah, Thurston, you beefed it.
You got your own show wrong,
and now we're going to make fun of you with rocks.
Banished.
That's how it's going to be, eh?
Yes, that's what you're...
That's what y'all are doing.
Whoa, well, you...
Now he's going to jump a lot.
Whoa, beer!
Hell yeah, we've gone back in time.
We're starting over.
Let me get the old overlay back.
We're starting over.
We're starting over.
Let me get that animated flame
everybody yelled at before.
We're starting over.
All right, we start...
All right.
You wake up in the desert.
Surrounding you is 7,000 miles of desert.
You suffocate from lack of air.
Oh, I got sent back into the desert again.
Where's the geeney lantern?
You suffocate.
Oh, I found this geeney lantern.
I finally escaped the desert.
I rubbed the lamp.
You suffocate.
I wish I was back.
I wish I was back at all.
Were we supposed to be doing something?
Oh, yeah.
We're supposed to play a game.
Hi, everybody.
Welcome back to another selling episode of Rock Grime.
I hope you guys had an absolutely loved time since last episode.
I hope you did not piss and shit all over everything.
Hi, other person listening to this.
Yeah, they watch and listen to weird stuff.
Anyway, last time...
I love...
I don't know why.
That's my favorite thing.
It's like someone has put this show on speakers somewhere
or they're listening to it in the car
or they somehow got leaked off their phone
and is blaring in the office
and we're like,
we are pissing and shitting
and then everyone just looks at them weird
and we're like,
yeah, we did that.
We made them look at you.
Anyway, though,
a lot of stuff happened last episode,
if I remember.
There's a couple things.
It's been a bit,
you know, for us in between episodes
because, you know,
we've been doing a whole bunch of stuff.
Hammond Wars and a whole bunch of other things.
So, do forgive me if I miss something.
I do believe
that
a coastal town was under attack.
A coastal town was under attack
and us
and the band of Chucklefucks
ran down to save it.
Especially whenever we arrived there,
there were
these rotten, like, spirit creatures
that were messing with our characters
in weird ways.
Like, we couldn't touch them for some reason.
It was like they were ghosts.
But after finding magical ways
to deal with these opponents
and seeing that
whoever was in this coastal town
was definitely long gone,
we saw
Athena's mom
who had it going on
who was also helping
within the town.
After discussing with her
and trying to figure out
what happened,
we found out that
there have been rock creatures
and rock spirits
attacking the coastal towns
more and more,
but nothing as severe as this.
After discussing with her,
we see that
a ship
just blared through the sky.
Heading off in the direction
where we need to go.
And I think that's where
we left off last, Thurston.
I stole the funny hat
that eats you.
That's right.
There was a hat that we found.
Sorry, that was an important detail.
Thank you so much for reminding me of that.
You know, after visiting
Athena's dad
or trying to find him,
we found out he's not there,
but there was a caretaker.
And then we learned about
pretty much the hat
of the Paraloris,
where if you wear it,
you basically just get
sucked soul to death.
And we found out that
somebody has stolen the hat
on board their ship
and has now scurried away.
I think we are now
in hot pursuit of that person,
I believe.
I believe, yes,
your plan was to go back
to the airship
in pursuit
of Vicon Sharkskin
who has absconded
with the hat.
Yeah, potentially wishing
to finally die
knowing that his
old captain
is no longer there.
Oh.
Kind of fucked up.
All right.
It's kind of fucked up.
All right.
Let's get on
that fucking ship.
Also, I realize
I gave all of his, like,
three hero plans
on accident.
Let me just take all this away.
Yeah, I was just looking
at the employer.
No!
Get all that shit
out of there.
Give him back!
Sorry, I tried to cheat.
I tried to sneak
that shit in there.
I was going to be like,
hey, man.
Now, here you go.
I just slide extra coins
across the table.
Here you go.
Dishonest lion's
are and at it again.
We've been playing
in so many different systems
where it's like,
oh, yeah,
Pathfinder gets this.
But Janitherson,
that's probably
heading off.
I think we're
in a hot pursuit.
You are,
which let's bring up
the important amount
that's in fact
a trivial pursuit.
All right.
Remember,
you return back
to your vessel,
rushing as you've
learned this
valuable information
and possessing
the only airship
capable of catching
up to
the poppet crew.
I've placed your tokens
on the deck
of your ship.
If you can,
please,
you will have some time
to rest up here,
so feel free to
heal yourselves,
remove all your
appropriate buffs,
give your spell slots
back,
all that fun.
Yay!
Wow!
Finally,
I can have grenades
again.
I can be just
quickly replenishing
my grenades.
I'm actually
reassessing this.
You have no time
to prepare.
True!
I can't walk it
back now.
I don't know
how damaged I was.
Oh, fuck!
So, yeah,
you return to the vessel.
You've managed
to heal yourselves
up, rest,
as you get
underway
into the sky.
Vena,
you're the captain.
You tell me
what the fuck
you're doing.
All right.
Yeah,
we're in pursuit.
I'm going to
do my best
to, like,
follow behind
where we saw
a sharkskin
going.
Gonna get
full sail going,
get everybody
at their stations.
If anybody
has any things
that don't require
a spell slot
but can give us
some wind,
that'd be great,
but otherwise,
we're just gonna
full speed ahead.
I can hit you
with a gust of wind
at level one.
I don't want to
use too much,
but I think
a level one
spell slot
to speed us up
a bit,
I think,
I think,
that'll be fine.
I, like,
I, like,
never use my
level one spell,
so it's,
I don't know,
whatever.
Yeah,
I'll get back
and push.
Exactly.
All right.
Yeah,
so, uh,
I'll shout over
to Tanhauser,
give us a little
wind, huh?
It shall be done.
Behold!
And I put my hand
up and I
throw out
the churning
wind.
And, uh,
we're all knocked
prone and pushed
off the side of the
Yeah,
I ate out
in such a way
to make sure
that sucks.
Level one spells
in Pathfinder
second edition
are actually
the truly
important spells.
True.
True.
True.
It provides
a small
augmentation
to your speed
for a brief
amount of time.
Wow.
That's awesome.
That's incredible.
All right.
Yeah.
So we're just
on route
following behind
them,
making sure
that we are,
uh,
I'm not worried
about being stealthy.
If they decide
to square up,
they decide
to square up,
but we're,
we're going
after them.
All right.
do you want
to give me
an appropriate
check to pilot
your vessel,
captain?
Yes,
I shall.
Uh,
oh yeah,
we,
we,
we use a,
uh,
play,
yeah,
lore airships.
Here we go.
Or wait,
there's a,
is there a different
check or is it?
No,
no,
that's the one.
Okay.
Sick.
Sick nasty.
I got scared.
You should be.
Oh no!
Yes!
What did you do?
All right.
The camera.
I rolled one.
Can I?
The camera
cuts
to a small child
who's handing out
pamphlets in a nation.
It's all over.
It's all over.
The revolution
could be really good
for us
and I just think
that we have to
The crowd turns behind
to see,
um,
the airship
have bent itself
into the ground.
Oh no!
Can I spend
a fucking
hero point?
Yeah,
that makes sense.
Okay,
thank you.
remember the
complicated
God who's higher
than me.
Please,
just this once.
Ah!
There we go.
Okay!
Natural 20!
That's how we're
rolling today.
Natural one
and a natural 20.
It's boom and bust.
There's no
in the middle.
It's good to know
that our natural,
it's good to know
that our natural
barometer for success
is still working
very well.
He checks in the mail,
Odo.
Um,
okay.
It's a complication,
Odo.
Uh,
I've got,
I've got a,
I made sure
to get a bunch
in here.
Um.
Good,
good.
But so many
of these are
combat.
So many of these
are not for
just,
oh,
here we go,
here we go.
This,
this will work
out of combat.
that.
Um.
This one is from
Old Man Skeletal
and it's called
Glorify the Moment.
You feel the need
to strike an epic
pose,
either to make
your failure
seem less awful
or to add to
the glory of your
success.
It lasts for an
uncomfortably long
amount of time
and is not nearly
as awesome as
all of the stories
and paintings
make the pose
look.
Uh,
so Veena is
going to like,
she's like having
her moment,
she's grabbing
the wheel,
she spins it
and she's like,
yeah,
I'm a pirate
captain
and the,
the ship just
does a donut
as she's standing
there,
like,
posing.
Veena,
you have,
you've got the
wheel in a
left turn,
you should,
no,
Veena,
we're going
around in a
circle.
No,
no,
let me have
my fucking
moment,
Annie.
I,
I,
I knock
the wheel
back on
course.
And that's
what ends
up in the
natural 20.
that's good.
That makes
sense.
It's,
it's perfectly
timed.
The airship
catches back
up at
Banks.
Small child
continues his
proselytization
of the locals
never actually
meeting the
people who
dropped the
pamphlets down
on their
bereft nation.
and you
nothing,
nothing happened.
Nothing,
nothing ever
happened.
Maybe someday.
I don't know.
Nothing.
You begin to
catch up
with Veena
trying to
strike various
poses.
each time
seemingly
Tannhauser
takes the
wheel and
makes a
little
adjustment
using his
high
intellect.
As this
occurs,
as this
occurs,
you eventually
forward can
see the
silhouette
of the
sky whale.
It is
flapping its
way towards
a tumultuous
storm,
like almost
like a
smaller
version of
the storm
that hangs
near outset.
As it
moves,
you can,
and you get
closer,
you can hear
the wind
and the
sails
whipping
around you.
The speed
of the ship
is picking up.
You can hear
the rattling
of the
trees and
branches that
come out
the back
of your
vessel.
But then
in the
distance,
you can
just hear
the
cheers and
celebrations
from the
tiny puppet
crew of
the vessel
you're
approaching.
They're so
excited about
dying.
What the
fuck?
All right.
Yeah.
So looking
at this
storm,
it does
look very
much like
the one
that started
around
outset.
Can I
make that
kind of
mental
connection
to,
like,
this is
probably
the
side of
power
that we're
looking for?
Absolutely.
You can tell
that it's
likely that,
or it's
quite possible
that it's
a manifestation
of,
like,
the puppet's
need to
sacrifice.
like,
this is the
place they're
going to
fly into
to do
the thing.
Oh,
no.
All right.
I got good
news and
bad news.
Good news is
I think we
found our
side of
power.
Bad news is
that is a
nasty-looking
storm,
and it looks
like the
puppets are
trying to
throw
themselves
into it.
That is
disturbing.
What should
we do?
Well,
we should
gain on
them as
fast as
possible and
see if we
can cut
them off
before they
hit the
storm.
If not,
then it's
going to be
a bumpy
ride.
I have a
question,
Thurston.
Yes.
What is
faster,
an airship
or a
person
flying?
Airship.
I raise
a hand.
Yes,
Auryn,
you in the
back.
I have
an idea.
Go for
it.
I have
wings and
I have
experience
with going
through air.
It's like
maybe we
could try
to find
a slipstream
and basically
try to use
that with
our sails
and try to
gain extra
speed.
The whale is
basically trying
to propel
itself at the
same way,
but if we
could find a
faster air
slipstream,
we can
probably
gain on
them pretty
quick.
There's no
need to
find one.
I can
make one
with my
gust of
wind spell.
I'm going
to be honest
with you.
It's not
yours ain't
that great,
Mr.
Tan.
It's really
good,
Auryn.
You would be
the equivalent
of going
at the
sails,
Mr.
Tan.
How would
you know?
How would
you know?
How would
you know?
Because you
just did it,
Mr.
Tan.
Yeah,
you went
faster.
Yeah,
not as fast.
As fast as
compared to
what?
To be
technically
true,
you did it
and then
in like
the prime
reality,
you immediately
crashed the
air.
Okay,
me?
I?
I crashed
the air?
Me?
I rolled
the
ass.
Why would
you do that?
I'm going to
cover Mr.
Tanhauser and
go away from
the bed argument.
You should do it
at the same time,
Mr.
Tanhauser.
With our
combined efforts,
we could probably
catch up to him.
Well,
now you've
changed your
tune.
Okay,
yeah,
sure.
And Mr.
Balgic,
you have
anything that
can,
you know,
anything of
mixtures or
any stuff that
like maybe
make a
propellant,
you know,
like one of
those things
that go up in
the air and
go boom,
you know,
and those
light shows.
Oren,
I don't think
attaching a
firework to
our ship is a
good idea.
Well,
not a little
firework,
but the thing
that makes
it go.
Well,
yes,
but we
don't have,
do we have
an engine that
would properly
suit that?
Or am I just
making propellant
and we're just
going to hold
it off the
back of the
ship and
light it up?
I don't know,
you're the
smart one.
blast wave.
If we threw
an object of
sufficient
volatility behind
the ship,
couldn't we
at peril
use the force
of the explosion
to accelerate
us towards
Whale?
If the force
of the explosion
is strong enough
to accelerate
us forward,
the force of
the explosion
is strong enough
to destroy
the ship.
But what if
we were moving
really fast?
We would
move very fast
in multiple
directions all
at once.
I could
slow us
is slowing
is that?
No,
no,
we don't
know.
No,
a small
shape is
detached off
from the
Sky Whale
and flying
towards you.
Toward us?
Yes,
I get on the
gun and I
shoot it down.
What gun?
We have them.
I bought
that feat.
What if I
point my big
Rahua finger
at them and
said no?
Yes,
so did I,
you son of a
bitch.
You can't make
that joke
anymore.
That is
true.
Yeah,
you get the
pity bit.
Yeah,
you get the
pity bit.
Sorry,
none of you
are going to
understand what
that is.
Go watch
the Wrath and
Gloried one.
Yes.
Anyway,
I at least
like to propose
like all of
our things at
this point.
I'm going to
roll a nature
check to be
like, oh,
go here,
go here.
Help me
out.
Yeah,
we're not
slowing down
for whoever
is approaching
our vessel.
They run
into the
front,
they run
into the
front.
If they
die,
they die.
Okay.
Yeah,
if we just
ram them,
you know,
they'll die.
I'm not
in control
of this
situation.
My opinion
doesn't matter
here.
Thurston?
All right.
Yep.
Yeah,
I said you
can make a
check.
Yeah.
No,
I didn't
hear it at
all.
None of us
heard it.
Who's that
fucking guy?
Get him
out of here.
I mean,
that guy.
It's
still
guys.
Pull it up
to you.
All righty.
I rolled
my dice
for three
of a total
of 25.
As
Oren,
you're
like
considering
all the
ways that
you might
be able
to move
this airship
and like,
yeah,
there's some
magical,
if you had
some propellant,
maybe like,
these are all
things,
you know,
but you're
just,
you're having
some difficulty
finding any
fast rate.
And in the
midst of this,
a puppet
appears flying
with wings.
It's like
a lion-like
stuffed animal
that has
a bow
and arrow
and
pin for an
eye
and
little
wings
coming out
of it.
We wish.
It floats,
flapping its
wings
above the
deck,
kind of,
not coming to
a stop
because you're
moving,
but like,
balancing
itself
above the
deck.
Hey,
bud.
What's,
uh,
what's going
on?
Why are you
trying to
stop us?
Because we
don't want
you all to
die?
That's real
nice,
but what,
have you
thought about
what we
want?
Why do
you want
to die?
Why do you
want to take
the hat with
you?
Why do you
want to let
your soul
be devoured
in the
middle of
that storm?
Because
the child's
gone.
I mean,
wouldn't he
want you to
carry on?
Wouldn't he
want you to,
you know,
carry his
wish throughout
the ages?
So in that
way,
he's never
really
wants doesn't
matter
because he's
dead.
Well,
in a way,
wouldn't that
be keeping
his wish
alive forever?
Wouldn't he
be immortal
in his own
way?
So he would
never be
forgotten?
Odo.
Pardon me,
not Odo.
I meant to
say Vina,
my bad.
Sorry.
It's been a
bit.
It's been a
bit.
Let me
let me just
get in.
Let me get
in.
Don't lambast
me.
Don't lambast
me,
please.
It's been a
it's been a
long while.
You're so
good.
Yeah.
Vina,
I'm getting
the feeling
they don't
care.
They don't
they might
want to
just rest.
why do
you care
so much?
Is it
because you
want the
hat?
It's
I mean
Vina
kind of
looks down
a little
bit.
She kind
of wanted
the hat.
That's
what I
thought.
But
you're
forgetting
something.
You
were brought
to life
by a
wish.
The wish
of a
little boy
to make
him happy.
Sure
was.
And
you fulfilled
your duty.
Now
why be
destroyed
now?
Because
our
lives
were about
making
that
boy
happy.
he's
gone
now.
You
have to
look.
Everything
is like
black and
white to
us.
It's all
gray.
There's
no joy
in anything
anymore.
And that's
why we
seek the
comfort of
oblivion.
And
through this
hat we
can get
that.
Would
you take
that from
us?
I would
offer you
some.
Can you take
that from
all of us?
I would
so that
I could
offer you
something
better.
How many
other
children are
out there
needing their
wishes to
come true?
Children just
like that
boy whom
you loved
and cherished
who need
children who
need things
just like
you who
could find
happiness in
one another
rather than
the insult
of oblivion.
Certainly
this world
it wants
for more
happiness.
it takes
and takes
and takes
from those
who are
most vulnerable
especially
those younger.
Think of
how many
more did
not get
so rare
a privilege
as a wish
granted
to be
a wish
that yourselves
could be
the answer.
Your lives
itself
a granted
wish
could grant
the wish
of hundreds
thousands
of others
in need.
You just
don't get
it.
We hate
children.
What?
Uh-huh.
That makes it
awkward,
doesn't it?
You can go
to a senior
home,
I guess.
Guys,
I think
the writing
on the wall
is pretty
obvious
at this
point.
I don't
think there's
any chance
of us getting
past this
one.
What do
you?
Well,
of course
you do,
Baldrick.
You're a
sourpuss.
You've not
felt the
true joy
of having
a favorite
toy.
I did
back in
the day.
I called
him Scully,
the skull.
I've never
had a toy.
I'm literally
a child
compared to
all of you.
We need
to get you
a toy.
We're gonna
get you
a toy,
Ruhua.
I had
Jeremy.
You guys
can't focus
for one damn
second,
can you?
Do you know
we've been doing
this for years?
You should
know that
by now.
I'm well
aware.
And the
point is,
is that we're
not going to
get through
this by
talking to
them.
Their
urge to be
obliterated is
stronger than
their desire
for us to
save the
world.
I'm afraid
we're just
gonna have to
duke it out.
All right,
wait,
but I have
another
proposal.
Ruhua
walks up
poppet.
No,
you go,
Hogi.
I'm sorry,
I didn't
mean to
drop to
you.
No,
it's okay,
it's okay.
Latency
dance.
Ruhua puts
a hand on
the poppet
shoulder.
You know
what?
I agree
with this
one.
Children
are very
cruel,
and you
know what?
You didn't
ask to
exist.
I didn't
ask to
exist
either.
I think
I can
sort of
see where
you're
coming
from.
Really?
Yeah.
I would
like to
grapple the
poppet.
Yeah,
sure,
target it,
give me an
athletics check.
Absolutely.
Hold on,
let him
duke.
Well,
that's one
way to do.
I was gonna
go to him
and be like,
yeah,
you can use
the hat.
Can we
use it
after?
You'll
be dead.
That's
39.
He's
grabbed.
Listen
to me.
Listen
to me
very
closely.
We're
so
close
to
all
not
existing.
I
could
show
you
true
oblivion.
I
came
from
there.
There's
nothing.
I
could
take
you
back
there.
Just
give
us
the
hat
and
I'll
send
you
all
away.
Sorry.
I'm
sorry.
I
just,
I
want
that
to
be
the
thing
that
someone
shows
their
friends
about
Rod
just
like,
listen
to me,
you fucking
little doll.
I've seen the end of all things.
Let me show you the stillness and silence that comes after oblivion.
Cast Petcast.
Trust me.
I would like to attempt diplomacy.
Oh, yeah, sure.
Fuck.
Why not?
That's great.
That's art.
Oh, man.
Okay.
You know, it's a 22.
It's not that good of a roll, chief.
Muldrick pulls out a magazine and starts reading.
What about intimidation?
What if I'm really impressing to him?
All right.
All right.
So, so you've grappled him.
You've talked to him.
You've diplomacy.
You're now realizing diplomacy might not be the way to go.
So now you're kind of debating what the next step is.
Well, thank you for God something though.
Yeah.
It's in the name.
I'm a free wish.
And then he uses unfettered movement to immediately break your grapple.
Counterspell!
No, no.
It's not a spell.
It's literally just like how some things can naturally fly.
Thurston, I jump one foot in the air.
Counterspell!
Are you kidding?
No!
Are you kidding?
Are you kidding?
I've had Counterspell this entire time.
I finally need someone who has a spell that I have prepared.
I can't counter it.
Hero point!
Counter spell!
It has to be a spell.
You know what?
Counters something.
You know what?
No.
Fine.
Fine.
You know what?
Fine.
Spend your fucking hero point.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Let's do this.
Let's fucking do this.
Oh boy.
Oh boy.
We have escalated from a zero point.
Zero to the 100 on the antipathy scale.
No, no, no.
Let's fucking go.
Let's fucking go.
Let's go.
Let's go.
Let me pull up.
I'm going to pull up the old, the new Starfinder GM screen, which one of the great things we added
on this GM screen is a counteract table.
I love it.
Interesting.
So what is the rank on your spell?
Fourth.
Okay.
Okay.
Give me a check.
All right.
What check am I giving you?
Well.
I'm going to be honest with you, Chief.
Even I don't understand the counter.
Shit.
It would have to be a spell.
It's already flying.
The counter spell doesn't tell me how to actually counter it.
It's just.
I'm so confused.
How do I counter a spell?
You were trying to use counter spell on a bird.
I've never.
It's not a bird.
It's a plush toy.
Clearly bird.
But it's flying with its wings.
As a spell.
It's also gripled.
Okay.
So you are.
You are using.
I am assuming.
Dispel magic.
Or no.
You have counter spell.
The.
Yeah.
The wizard thing.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Gotcha.
God.
I really hope we don't need unfettered movement in like three seconds.
Technically this is a.
This is a scroll.
I think.
No, it's not a scroll.
This is.
No, it's a feet.
It's a feet.
No, no, no.
I mean my unfettered movement.
Okay.
So.
This is.
What is the.
What is the rank of your unfettered movement?
What spell rank is it?
A fourth.
So I'll expend that spell slot.
Yes.
Okay.
Roll me.
A d20, please.
A d20, please.
You got it.
Just a flat d20.
Just a flat d20.
All right.
17.
On the die.
Oh, that's actually really good.
That's actually really good.
Well, okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
So.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
So.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
So.
Okay.
Okay.
So.
Okay.
So.
Okay.
Okay.
So.
Okay.
Okay.
So.
That's enough to counteract it.
So it breaks free.
It's technically going to be able to move.
It completes its action before you cast.
So it's going to move 30 feet here.
Then you'll counteract it.
Yeah.
You'll counteract it.
He's just going to plummet to his death.
Point.
That revolutionary child's meant to get a new plush toy.
At which point.
It's going to plummet very far.
Oh my god.
Well.
Hey Tani.
Was that supposed to happen?
Ah.
Of course.
Was that what you intended to do?
Oh yeah.
Uh huh.
Yeah.
Woo.
All right.
You know.
Honestly.
I didn't think that would work.
Because that was sort of like an innate action.
I mean.
It's not like a spell.
That it cast.
So.
If you wanted me to kill the fucker.
You could have just said.
Hey Baldrick.
Kill the fucker with a grenade.
Yeah.
I thought.
I thought our goal was for them to kill.
To not.
Die.
He's a plush toy.
He's not going to die from falling.
Think.
Thirsten.
I'd like to spend a hero point.
For him to fall into a towering inferno.
Into a volcano.
Yes.
With a hero point.
So he dies horribly.
We're going to have no hero points.
For action.
You guys.
You guys started this.
I'm finishing it.
You guys started this.
I'm finishing it.
Thirsten.
He falls into a volcano and dies.
The Andacian volcano.
Yeah.
Agreed.
Okay.
No.
No.
Worse than that.
It's a coastal volcano.
Thirsten.
Because it's my hero point.
Can I say it's a lightning volcano?
What?
Yes.
Actually.
Yes.
Thank you.
Oh man.
I think what it would probably be is like a mountain that's kind of split near the peak.
And there's lightning that arcs between the like the two points of the split.
And so it falls down and it's basically being like eviscerated kind of Dr. Manhattan style.
Correct.
I want a long distance shot.
If you see a little dot getting near it, it's like a bug zapper.
Yeah.
They call the mountain range the towers of fatigue.
Now, Baldrick, this is very clearly your narrative declaration.
But could I add a suggestion both for you and the DM's consideration?
I will consider it.
All right.
Can the plush toy also regain a desire to live just before impact?
No.
What the fuck is that?
Rahua, can I, Hulky, can I ask you something?
Yeah.
Yeah.
What's up, Erndale?
Can you spend your hero point to give Tannhauser immense remorse for taking away the thing's ability to fly?
Can I spend a hero point to make another PC feel remorse and guilt?
I spend a hero point to give you cataclysmic diarrhea.
I'll allow it, Mark, who went down the hero point?
Tannhauser, you feel terrifying remorse.
I'll allow it.
Yeah, let's just spend all these fucking hero points.
Why not?
Mark it out.
He was just a child.
It was just a child's toy.
I jump off the boat.
Oren, could you please spend your hero point to make it so that Tannhauser is really afraid of heights?
Yeah, sir.
But he's still falling, so he's still scared of it.
Well, no, no, no.
You know, Zoran, see, if you give him the fear before he jumps, he'll have to make a roll to succeed at throwing himself off the side of the boat.
Yeah, you'll have to make a will say.
Thirsten, hold on.
Hold on a second.
Before Tannhauser throws himself off, I cast Cast into Time on Tannhauser, so he gets to experience falling for thousands of years at a time.
I would argue that at that point, I should be immune to fear of falling or heights.
I attach a coring charge to the mast of the ship.
The next feedback Google form we do is going to be, hey, man, we told you the bits for too long last time.
Why did you make them look?
Suffering.
Hey, Chad, if you appreciate how we spend hero points in this show, please put one into the chat.
I'd appreciate a little immediate feedback on that.
Thanks, all.
Thanks, everybody.
The Guinness.
Let me be the guy.
The bring is back.
Let's be the guy.
Please be the guy.
The bring is back enzyme.
We know it's fucking bad when.
We know it's fucking bad when.
Let me give people back their hero points.
What?
We got to pull it back a bit.
We're rewinding it to just after I used mine.
The lightning mountain still exists.
Yeah.
Purge of moments.
That was a timeline where that did happen, and that's gone now.
Okay.
So at this point.
We're going to quick load.
Yeah.
Quick load back.
And Orr kind of looks at everyone.
I can fall out of it.
They're not going to think we did that, did they?
Well, honestly, my plan.
So this is very weird.
Because my original plan was to capture them and then tell them, oh, we have him alive.
And if you want to kill him and you want your crewmate to die, you know, a big thing, draw them over here.
But that's pretty much Bob Kiss now.
That also wouldn't have worked because they would have just wanted him to die.
We would have threatened his life by saying, oh, we're going to keep him alive.
We're not going to let you kill him.
That's not a threat.
I just think that the camera is panning over to Veena at this point, who's just staring out, like, mouth wide.
The, like, white noise fills over everyone's discussion as she stares off at the distance.
Correct.
She's just completely staring off into the middle distance, just like, man, what the fuck am I doing here?
At the, at the mountain range of the electric law.
Yeah.
I'm blue.
I've never seen that before.
Where did it come from?
That's scary.
Captain Veena.
Uh-huh.
It's like, well, I guess we're going to rustle a tunnel with them at this point.
Do we still pursue them?
I guess we are.
Fuck.
We don't have a choice.
Not really.
We need to get that hat since you lost yours.
Yeah.
If it's for the sake of saving the world, I guess.
Oh, God.
Ugh.
I have a question for you, Veena.
How come you find this to be so unsavory?
What?
Letting them die?
No, the notion that we're going to have to contest them and take away their wish for oblivion
so that we can stop the world from being destroyed.
I don't know.
It puts me in this situation where they are all so clearly yearning for oblivion
and their existence is this kind of tenuous thing tied to something that is no longer here,
but also, like...
Just letting a bunch of puppets throw themselves into oblivion just doesn't feel right.
And then being there to kill them and say,
hey, you know, we were going to save your life, but you didn't cooperate,
so I guess we're just going to speed this whole process up.
It's fucked.
It's fucked.
I thought we were heroes.
They don't want to be saved.
They want a short-sighted, selfish wish to end their existence so they can stop being here.
We have an obligation.
And so we help them do that?
No.
We get what we need, and we accomplish what we have to.
Their wish is short-sighted.
It is selfish, and we can't let it pass.
Else, there's going to be serious repercussions for the rest of the damn world.
That's how it works.
I've had to deal with this kind of thing all the time and outset.
It is very cut and dry.
The needs of the mini outweigh the selfish few.
You're right.
You're right.
Meanwhile, we can do all we can to try to convince them not to destroy themselves.
But at the end, there's very little you can do when one has resolved themselves to oblivion.
I'm going to make a narrative declaration here.
With what hero?
I've got several, but I don't have to spend them.
I just get to decide this.
At the exact moment the poppet that fell into the mountain of despair got bug zap,
it created a slipstream per Oren's prophecy that just lines up with the back of your ship.
And as this epic moment is occurring of explaining to Vina the whys and the needs,
you can tell that your vessel is accelerating, pushed forward on the slipstream of an incinerated poppet.
Fuck.
All right.
We do what we have to.
I guess right now, if I can't be a hero, I'll be a goddamn pirate.
Come on.
Everybody do stations.
If we're going to square up, we're going to square up.
I was going to get a little bit faster than I expected.
Hmm.
I'm going to get behind the wheel.
All right.
You push yourselves onwards, eventually coming into the sort of outer sphere of the storm,
lightning arcing around within it, but never, like, never actually visible,
just flashes that you see within.
There's no thunder, oddly, either.
Um, you make your way up to, towards the, the rear coming from, from behind the Sky Whale.
Um, the vessel is built atop the whale's back.
It is about 160 feet wide from one end to the other.
Um, it is bedecked with old wood, a, a great sort of steering column atop a risen, uh, nest
near the aft.
But what is perhaps most notable is the array of cannons that are on either side, three cannons
each.
Uh, again, sort of putting any weaponry you might have on your ship to shame.
Uh, but it, but, but, but, but, but, you know, knowing what you know about combat, um,
it suggests a bit of two-dimensional thinking in that the cannons are great for fighting other
airships, but not necessarily repelling aborting assaults.
Uh, coming from above could allow you all to jump down onto the vessel in aborting action,
which you know would be the most efficient way of combating this.
All right, shit.
Hold on, we're going up.
Understood.
Whoa!
Grab onto something!
The rest of you to the bomb bay, come on.
Yep, good idea.
Hop, hop, hop, hop, hop.
Everybody go!
Oh!
You all make your way towards the bomb bay, again, sort of reaching.
The sun is visible in the distance, glowing down over the, uh, the clouds, which darken
in orange, and the, the thunderclaps, or the lightning effects within.
Again, no sound, very odd.
The only thing is the sort of keening of, of the whale moving closer towards it.
But then also the, yay, we'll be soon, yay!
We'll be soon, yay!
The cheering from the puppets on deck.
Before we jump down, just two quick points of order.
I'm going to cast invisibility on Gorgamunker.
Okay.
And I'm going to cast fly on myself.
All right.
Sounds good by me.
Same thing, cast fly on myself.
Okay.
All right.
Well, as...
Okay.
All right.
You make your way.
Uh, Veena, if you would give me one more airship lore test to try to navigate into position
so you can deploy your squad.
You got it.
Watch this.
Here it comes.
Okay.
That one was actually fine.
That was a 31.
Yay!
I'm fully expecting that one.
It is enough.
You can line up so that each of you, uh, as you're, like, setting things up and ready,
clanging behind you.
Oh!
Captain Veen, I, I could take the wheel if you'd like.
I know you have things to do down there as Crunch comes up.
I could hold it steady if you need.
Oh.
Thank you, Crunch.
Do you know anything about flying an airship?
Oh, you, I, you just get the hang of it.
Hold it straight.
I just, I, it's, it can't be that hard.
Thanks, Crunch.
I'm going to put her down to, uh, the bomb bay.
Crunch is fine.
Oh, that's not so good.
Crunch is fine.
Crunch is fine.
All right.
Each of you, uh, go to the bomb bay and jump down.
Uh, I assume you're going to use the bomb bay to sort of hop down onto the, the deck of
the Sky Whale ship.
Yes.
We've opened the bomb bay door and it's, it's what we have.
Uh, okay.
Can I use some ropes for that?
Because I'm assuming that us just hopping down would be a terrible idea.
Well, some of you have fly.
So that those, those people, it'll be easy.
Ruhu and Tamaz are going to flip down the side of the bar.
Me and, me and Veena, who are terrestrial beings.
Oh, I'm going to pop wings over there.
All right.
I'm going to use a rope then.
Sorry, Baldrick.
This is how the Batman feels when he has to travel.
Literally travel.
Yeah.
But much, but much like, but much, much like Batman, they need me.
That's true.
That is also very true.
We don't deny this.
But, no.
But, okay.
Okay.
One second.
I'm going to do this.
I'm going to do this.
Put Gorgamonger down.
Don't know.
Was Gorgamonger invisible?
Who is invisible?
Gorgamonger is invisible.
Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
Done, done, done.
Okay.
Give me one second here.
All right.
You hop down onto the back of the Sky Whale vessel.
Oh, this works.
This works.
Oh, that map is so cool.
Oh, hell yeah.
Oh.
It is cool.
Yeah.
I love this place.
Thank you, Jami.
Thank you, Jami.
Thank you, Jami.
This is sick as fuck.
You land upon the Sky Pirate vessel that could only come from the dreams of a child.
There's chalk markings of colorful images decked around the hull.
Even the foremast of it is caked in various colors that have been placed upon.
There's flowers, fishies, skulls.
The fronts of the cannon are colored in different pastels.
Uh, the further aft cabin is, um, is, is where you can see Captain, or Vicon Sharkskin at the steering helm.
The rest of the puppets moving around.
You can see that there are two flying, um, three on deck.
Two of them appear to be stuffed, perhaps panda bears.
Here, let's, let's share all the art.
Uh, there are, flying nearby, two of the free wishes, those similar, um, lioness creatures that you, you witnessed.
There is some, uh, some, some, what must clearly be the spellcasters of the group.
The powerful wizard bears.
Oh, my God.
Oh, you're so cute.
We're gonna die.
Standing in the middle of the deck like a defiant sentinel is the one you've met previously.
The bold wish.
The armored suit rallying all of its companions.
And at the fore, or at the aft of the ship, we'll, Vicon Sharkskin.
All drawn by our artist, Skelly, who did a great job.
Oh, Skelly.
Yeah.
Perfect.
The voice of Vicon Sharkskin bellows somehow over the stern.
Well, hello.
Welcome to my ship.
Thanks, Vicon Sharkskin.
Thank you, Vicon.
Listen.
For one, you don't have to do this.
But if you're not gonna listen to us, you're gonna give us that hat.
Oh, I don't think I'm going to.
If it's so nice on my head now.
Wait, is he?
It's gonna end all of our problems.
What are your problems, Vicon?
Life.
Real.
But that's okay, because what I am.
And he, like, steps up, like, onto the, onto the, the column of the steering wheel, staring down towards you, though diminutively silhouetted by the, the sun behind him.
And he says, but this is what you always wanted, Vina.
This is the pirate's life.
This is what you idolized.
Now you get to be a real pirate.
All right, everybody.
Let's make Vina's wish come true.
Fuck.
I'm gonna get everyone to roll initiative for me.
Why the fuck did you wish this, Ms. Vina?
I...
It's complicated.
No shit.
Natural 20.
Yeah.
You...
Our fearless leader, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm gonna...
Why is it making me roll stealth?
You probably have it.
You might have had it defaulted in your character sheet.
Yeah.
Hang on, let me fix that.
Let me fix that.
Perception.
You got it now.
I gotta fix it for you.
Yeah.
Here we go.
Try again.
That one.
Crud.
Oh.
At least you don't complicate them.
It makes sense.
You're coming down on the rope.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Bastards.
So, from the top of the order to the bottom, I'm gonna call your name to save what you got.
Uh...
Sharskin beat us all with a 42.
And then Vina got...
A 40.
Then one of the other Wish Bears, uh...
Then Tannhauser got...
38.
Then one of the other, uh...
Poppets, another Poppet.
Then Orin got a 29.
Rahua got a...
28.
Then a Poppet, another Poppet.
And then Baldrick got a...
20.
And so that's pretty much it order right now.
And, uh...
Combat begins.
Combat.
Vicon Sharkskin.
Does a backflip.
Fucker!
Oh, dare he.
That's like a slur to us.
I think...
Successful.
The sign of a worthy foe.
True.
Successful.
Um...
He does a backflip.
He gains Adorable.
Aww.
He has special panache?
Yes.
Oh my god.
We can't kill this guy.
He does a, like...
Backflip...
Around the steering wheel.
Lands.
As he does so, he draws his pin blade out.
Again, it sort of silhouettes off the sun.
He uses his other hand, like, hand, and hand is a loose term, um, to adjust his hat.
All right, it's time!
Uh, that's his entire rhinos, to be adorable.
Uh, Vina.
Oh my god.
You could...
You could beat...
You could beat his flair.
Surely.
Ah.
You're damn right, Oren.
And I'm going to take...
Because right now I've got 45 move speed.
I'm going to go...
First move.
I should also mention for people, uh, as you're walking around...
You can keep moving.
As you're walking around the battlefield, uh, the deck is also strewn with bags of candy.
Aww.
How old is the candy?
It looks very fresh.
Okay.
I was going to say, I don't know if this is kids hidden stash.
They just left here.
All right.
That'll have to be my second move.
Mm-hmm.
Ooh, I can't quite reach him.
So, for my third action, I'm going to take kind of, like, wings beating a running jump
and tumble through him.
Okay.
Target him and please do the, uh, the, uh, the roll.
Indeed.
Oh, that fucking sucks!
Ah!
Oh, and I don't have a hero point.
What did you roll?
I rolled a two for a 28.
That is a critical failure.
So you're going to get up to here in front of him.
Stopping.
Um.
He's going to target you.
Um, and he's going to...
Reactive strike you.
Oh, Christ.
Um, and he's going to slash at you with his pin blade.
Ow.
He'll hit you.
Yep.
Um.
Do this.
I think this will work.
Okay.
Uh, he will do 29 plus...
Sorry.
Oh, let me show you.
I don't know why pick turn squelch but it's rolling.
But he will do an additional nine, uh, more damage to you, Vina.
And you will take, uh, 38 damage.
As you are stabbed in your shoulder.
Like, in, like, a precise point where it just emanates pain through your sword arm.
Um, you would know that from this you took approximately, uh, 22 points of piercing damage.
Um.
Or, sorry, precision damage.
Precision damage.
Uh, as he precisely...
And his, like, wide-eyed, like, pin-pins seem to stare at you.
Oh, that's it, Vina.
You can do better.
I know you can.
You just gotta do better.
We're gonna have an epic door on the ship.
Let's do this.
Come on.
Fine.
Fine.
Fine.
You know what?
Sure.
That's right.
That's right.
Set yourself up.
This is it.
This is your moment.
Um.
Off in the distance, one of the free wishes begins to move.
Um.
It raises up its bow.
Oh, gosh.
I'm scared.
A little bit.
Um.
I'm gonna be nice, because it doesn't see, it doesn't see Gorgamonger.
It's gonna raise up its, um, its bow.
And then, somehow, bending space and time, it fires off, like, hundreds of tiny, uh, needle-like pin arrows that fly up and land around you.
It's like that, like, hunter AOE attack from World of Warcraft.
Um.
And it just starts, like, landing around the space where Oren, Baldrick, Rahua, and Tanhauser are.
Um, can I get each of you to give me a refund save?
I'll put it in chat.
Oh, got it, boys.
Nice.
Oh, yeah.
Oren got a natural 20.
Oren dodges the fuck out of that.
I get a 16, which is still somehow, wait, no, hang on, mine was a 4, not a 16.
And I got a 37.
You saw the 16, because speaker's dice ran into yours.
Um, uh, Rua?
Oh, my God, if I can read these things, hold on.
Oh!
There we go.
Now we're safe.
Okay.
Why is it?
Ooh!
Ooh!
I'm gonna hero point that.
You're gonna wrath that?
You were gonna say that?
Yeah, I'm gonna.
Wrath that up.
No, I didn't say wrath, I said hero point.
Mm-hmm.
Okay, please, please hero point that.
Uh, I like that you have, like, a more than 50% chance to fail this check.
Yeah, isn't it great?
Remember the right-click it in chat there and re-roll with the hero point.
Terrible.
Uh, I'm trying to.
It doesn't give me the option.
You need a hero point on your character sheet.
It is on my character sheet.
It is on my character sheet.
Yeah, that's weird.
Yeah.
Huh, weird.
Yeah, just re-roll with it.
Yeah.
Or just click, uh, the basic reflex button there.
Oh.
It'll be that plus 10.
32.
So that will be a success.
Okay.
Okay.
There we go.
Whew!
Whew!
Oh!
That's a lot of dice.
So, um, Oren, you will take nothing.
Um, Tannhauser and Rahua will take half.
Uh-huh.
Um, Baldrick, you will take the full 33 points of damage as these pins fall down over you.
You are also slowed one until the end of your next turn.
Got it.
So you'll just have one less action next turn.
And, um, that is two of this thing's actions, and then, well, no, it moved, so that's its action.
Okay, as you see this wish, and it's just, uh,
All right, here comes the shards.
And just lands all around you, and he's looking,
All right, they're suppressed.
Uh, that is the free wishes go.
Tannhauser, you're up.
All righty then, here's what I'm gonna do.
It's a little bit unorthodox.
For sure.
I am going to the range that everyone is in is quite unnatural for me.
I notice they are perfectly out of range to avoid bouncing chain lightning.
But, regardless, I still have a plan.
Okay.
Uh, I'm going to move up, uh, my movement, which is, of course, a number that I know very well, which is 30.
Of course.
Yeah.
Of course.
So, I'm gonna move 30.
Then I'm going to tap my staff on the ground, use it to channel the quantum singularity in my core, and I will invert gravity and create a gravity well.
And so, I'm gonna go ahead and place a 30-foot burst right here, and I'm going to have all these guys make me a reflex save.
Sweet.
This will also, unfortunately, affect me.
Affect me, eh.
Yes.
But, like, that's, that's, it doesn't do damage.
Yeah, you crit these, you crit these.
I crit these?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'll, uh, start with the awesome wish to the north.
Success.
Succeed, barely.
Fail.
And then, mad lad.
Cool.
Uh, shark skin will succeed.
Very good.
Uh, so, and then I'll get Vina to do it, because this will actually matter quite a bit.
Oh, yeah.
Uh, failure, they move 15 feet towards the center.
Uh, I crit these.
Yay.
And the night guy.
Oh, yes, the night guy.
Sorry, one sec, yes.
Uh, moves five feet towards the center.
I also forgot shark skin won't be affected, because he has evasion, but it doesn't show
that.
Uh, I'll do this one.
He will fail, and we'll go towards the center, where I'm going from.
All right.
Okie dokie.
And that's my turn.
Setting up for later turns.
Yeah, for sure.
Okay, um, and does this stay there, or does it?
I think it goes away.
I think it just...
Yeah, yeah, it does, it does.
Okay.
Okay.
Cool.
All right, so yeah, you create it, everything is kind of pulled, pulled in closer, Vina.
Vina and shark skin continue.
Their, like, fight is, like, literally a black hole forms momentarily in the sky, sucking
the toys together, and you just hear the, oh, very impressive backdrop.
This is exactly what we need for epic fight.
Okay.
Okay.
The bold wish.
And that's up to there.
And that's up to there.
And will clang his sword and a shield and raise their shield, um, and looks at Uren.
Oh, my friend, we meet on the battlefield, as I always knew it would happen.
Looks over to Ruhua.
You too.
Excellent.
Now is the time you may see what I am known for.
Are you going to stab me 97 times?
Actually, 87 was the number.
Oh.
Regardless.
Yes or no.
Added an extra 10.
He hefts up the, like, the blade, like, kind of, not cocking it, but just lifting it up
and down.
No, no.
He cocked it.
A shotgun shell comes out.
That bit will forever be part of us.
Yeah.
It's true.
Ever since, like, was it, like, Day of the Dead or I forget the movie.
No.
Where he cocks the shotgun.
Yeah.
It was Pybrae doing that to the overcharged plasma gun that got us on it.
Yeah.
No, no.
I did it with Lorne.
Oh, you did?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
I was with Lorne with the staff.
Yeah, I did that.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, because I saw.
Look at me, taking credit for your bets.
Yeah, how dare you?
Okay.
Sharkskin yells over the din down towards one of the other puppets, creatures,
the one that was barely pulled by the gravity well, and he shouts,
Okay, you!
We don't have enough good backdrop!
It's time!
Do it!
Do it now!
He, the puppet nods, staring off.
Okay.
Thing.
I have to check.
This is incredibly silly, but, you know, that's what we're here for.
I think I can get everyone in this.
Okay, I'm gonna get mostly every one of this.
Oh.
The wish, he casts a spell.
Um, here's my, here's my, like, uh, sales pitch for, uh, uh, the Battle Cry book.
He casts three actions.
Shock and awe.
Oh my god!
Conjuring an illusion of cannons, bullets, arrows, ballistics, torrents of information, visual and auditory.
Um, as, like, dozens of puppets, like, fictitious ones appear, and they're battling against, like, several of your allies from the past, Vena.
And the, the deck is now a slew with this cacophony of war, um, that, again, just serves to backdrop your battle with Vicon Sharkskin.
Um, I need everyone in the AOA, so it'll be everyone but Vena, to give me a willsaf.
Okay.
I do enjoy the chat, cause it the PTSD spell.
The PTSD spell?
That'll be a 31.
Don't cast it on dogs!
Oh god!
That's a nat 20.
Yay!
Oren got a 34!
Which was a success?
Uh, he's Tan Hazard!
Yeah, sorry, it was just not letting me click on it.
That's gonna be a 39!
Okay, so for all of those of you who succeed, you are, and so I think the one who critted was...
Uh, the rest of you are all just frightened.
Ah!
Ah!
Ah, war, sublime war!
Uh-huh!
Um, I'm like, yeah, this, this just cacophony blast is going on around you.
Uh, you will all be frightened, and it only affects enemies, so that will be it.
Um, and that was three actions, so that is the awesome wishes.
Go, uh, Oren, you're up.
I do apologize.
I was going through her feet there.
Uh, I am going to do a reaction, uh, at least to the frightened thing, and do blessed denial.
An ally within 30 feet would become frightened, and a bunch of other stuff.
So, I'm going to do that to Baldrick.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
Uh, so you are no longer feared, Mr. Baldrick.
All right.
I'm going to move it from my house.
I assume that your helmet just, you know, you're used to it.
Yeah.
It's, you know, uh, it could be worse.
As I look around here, like, there's a bunch of stuff I want to do to, like, buff people.
You're still slow, so I'm going to prioritize you first.
Um, so I'm going to cast Haste on you.
You apologize, but you're being weird today.
I'm going to cast Haste on Mr. Baldrick.
Uh, pretty much all you can do.
I got you, Mr. Baldrick.
So, now you have a free move in action there for your turn.
Uh, and that, that was a reaction for that thing.
Just the two actions for that.
And then for my last action, I'm going to do boost Eidolon on my dearest baby boy Gorgamonger.
And, uh, I'm going to extend boost.
I'm going to give him, give him boost Eidolon.
Do my fancy roll.
Oh, it's not one.
Oh.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, I'm going to hero point it and make a thing.
I did a reroll to 10 for a total of 40, so he definitely gets a whole bunch of stuff going on for him.
So, that gets to stay on him for a good bit, and I complicate.
Okay.
Oh, it's like, he turns around to nothing.
And he goes, you can do it, Gorgamonger.
And I like to imagine the Puppet thinks he has an imaginary friend.
Oh, yeah.
Because Gorgamonger is invisible.
Just like middle.
All right.
No, they're not going to react to that?
Okay.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
They, so which one are you doing?
Sorry.
Which one are you hitting it?
I was having to check something real quick there, so.
I'm not hitting any of them.
Well, yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
I'm just, you're just, I'm just saying that this is what they see.
Oh, you looking behind, trying to be like, okay, Gorgamonger, now it's the time.
And they're like, does she have an imaginary friend?
I'm like, that's sad.
That child is sad.
That's the most pathetic one.
There's no running away from it.
It's time.
Y'all got to chill.
It's not fucked up.
I'll probably modify this one.
Because there's a little bit.
I guess we can also put him with the shotgun and all things.
This is from, what do you want to be called?
From John.
The compilation name is called Friendly Fairy.
On a field, it says, we'll save.
We'll do save.
The PC sees a small fairy that insults one of the character's aspects of the character.
A fairy comes out.
Maybe like a fairy poppet on other desert dishes or something.
He goes like, you're the dumb one of the group.
No one loves you, Orn.
We all hate you, Orn.
How does it feel?
How does it feel to do nothing?
All of the other people are doing cool things.
You're doing nothing.
You're talking to empty air.
You're just a waste of the party.
Goodbye.
Oh, Navi now.
Yeah.
This episode is going to give me a bad mental health day.
I'm willing to take a debuff for that.
If you want to make any more decide.
I'm going to increase your fright into two.
Okay.
I will take that.
Yep.
All right.
I buffed my friends and stuff.
That's going to be in my turn.
Well, in reality, Gorgermonger is going to go up his speed, but that's it.
This is the only thing he can do.
Rahua.
Rahua is going to...
Actually, before I do that...
I like to recall knowledge on these little puppets.
Which one?
There's three, four different variants if you include shark skin.
Fuck.
That should have occurred to me.
Yes.
There are many puppets here.
Yeah, there are many puppets.
Yeah, Chad's right.
It's not a fairy.
It's totally a fucking saucer-like.
No puppet that just appears.
No more.
Hoot, hoot, you're doing a bad job.
Hoot, hoot.
So useless.
Hoot, hoot.
Hoot, hoot.
Thank you, Chad.
You should have jumped off like that other doll.
Hoot, hoot.
Hoot, hoot.
Hoot, hoot.
Nobody liked that one, by the way.
You did us a favor.
Hoot, hoot.
Yeah, you're just like him.
Hoot, hoot.
God damn.
These puppets deserve to die.
I agree.
They deserve to die.
I love how you're oscillating between,
this is the best screw ever to know,
fuck these guys and everything in their opinion.
My opinion has stayed exactly the same.
It is everyone else who's changing their opinions.
I love them.
I just love...
Actually, I'm going to move there instead.
What?
I'm just going to move there,
so at least he doesn't really start in attack range.
And I might have to redo my extra movement side.
Range is correct on that one.
Yeah, who's going right there?
Right there.
Right there.
See, I had this contingency of her contingency,
and the contingency did not work, in fact.
So we're going with plan C.
And if these puppets are going to die,
ideally, they're going to die screaming.
And I'm going to cast Fear.
That's fair.
Okay.
Nobody else is within range,
so I'm going to need a basic will save from all of them.
DC-31.
The flying puppet to the north,
and the puppet that's in front of you is the knight guy,
just for podcast context.
Yeah, okay.
Perfect.
I got it.
Knight.
I don't...
Why did it...
Yeah, Oren, you succeeded.
Congratulations.
You had me selected.
When you did it, probably.
I know, I know.
It's...
For some reason, it's like...
On the thing there on the bottom,
you can just click those things there,
and it'll do it for the ones you targeted.
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
I see, I see, I see, I see.
Good, good.
Well, then I'll do that.
The first one was a 24.
That's a failure.
The second one was a 13.
For the 30 is a success.
The second one, I assume, was a knight.
Failure...
I got it.
...will be the frightened...
Will be frightened, too,
and the success will be frightened one.
Got it.
Rahua is just beaming images of a concept.
There is something worse than living forever,
and that's eternity unbound as part of a cacophony
of equally suffering souls.
Can I add on top to that?
Jesus.
Yeah, sure.
Can I have it where, like,
they have doubts in their minds,
but they probably heard the child be like,
no, that's not my favorite toy.
Yeah, I like that, too.
That's so fucked up!
Their entire life is basically pointless.
Yeah.
Are we going to kill these guys,
or do we hate them?
We're going to send them to hell before they die.
Is this comedy?
Yes!
It's a comedy of errors.
I don't like you anymore.
Somebody make that image, please.
I don't want to play with you anymore.
Oh, but instead of falling into the trash can,
it's falling into the volcano.
Come on!
That's so fucked.
Oh, it's great.
Get on it, artist.
Okay.
I'll love you forever.
Oh, my God.
And I'm going to pass the football.
Okay.
Well, I'm going to go to my next free wish over here.
Put the southern flying creature in the south part of the map
off the side of the port bow of the flying whale.
Isn't that Lerber?
It's going to target Tannhauser, who's closest.
That makes sense.
I am very scary.
It's going to raise up its bow.
It's going to do a debilitating shot,
so it is going to fire with two actions,
one attack on you, Tannhauser.
Hold on.
Oh, well, it's good that you rolled.
It doesn't hit me.
Okay.
That's very scary.
All right.
I'm going to spend my reaction.
Yes.
Nay!
And I will burn one of my scrolls,
and I will cast Cloud Dragon's Cloak.
It will have to make a DC 11 flat check
to be able to target me.
Ooh, okay.
I'll do the DC 11 flat check.
Nah, just 15.
Damn.
It was a good attempt.
Yeah.
Because it spent the extra round,
it, like, aims through as you, like,
create this, like, burst of dragon's breath around you.
The arrow comes flying, smacks into you.
Oof.
For 26 damage.
Oh, my God.
Because he spent two actions doing that,
um, he's going to make you slow to one
until the end of your turn.
You son of a bitch bastard.
I don't know how much you all love action economy.
It would be a shame if something happened to it.
It'll fly over here.
Um.
Damn.
Got us there.
Okay, we got your backdrop going.
Now, now I think we need to make sure that no one interrupts us.
Yeah.
All right, do the thing.
And the other, like, wizardly puppet nods to Sharkskin.
Um.
Let's see.
Yeah.
Let's drop it here.
It casts a spell and drops a cloud of poisonous gas onto the deck.
Hmm.
Well, I've seen that before.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Yeah.
Um, I'm gonna, like, okay.
For purposes of this combat making sense, yes, I know we're on a moving airship.
I, the cloud sticks to the deck and it's centered.
I'm down for it.
No worries.
I'm not doing, like, weird, weird movement shenanigans.
We're finding magic puppets.
God, no.
We're good with it.
I mean, that would completely fuck up, like, my entire kit.
Oh, I know, I know, I know.
It would be like, ha ha!
Then, like, the, the, the, the stuffed wizardly turns as there's, like, this choking miasmic fog
that looks like trench mist through the explosions and shells.
And then he turns and gives a salute to Sharkskin.
And he's, like, okay, it's good to go.
Very good.
Very good.
Now, I'll find a battle of final destiny, Captain.
Uh, Baldrick, you get to go.
Can I?
I'll give you haste.
I know.
Yeah, you'll get regular actions this turn.
I had to get a little bit of extra water while this was happening.
Because I was drinking it this whole time and then I ran out.
Okay.
Well, first and foremost, I'm going to try and get away from everyone.
Because, uh, as we have determined from how we spawned on the map, us being clustered up
fucked us a little bit.
Let's see.
He is 30 away.
Far away is the flying guy.
He is 55.
Let us move there.
As he's planning, hey, Thurston, I give you permission to have that, uh, plushy saucer
continuously shit-taught.
That's part of my complication.
Hoot hoot!
All right.
So I can move.
Oh, Christ.
I have to keep remembering what my move speed is.
Hang on.
It is...
25.
25.
Just wanted to make sure.
I'm going to use my...
I'm going to move.
Like, I would say I'm probably just going to move to, like, here.
So it's a fair distance away.
15 feet away from...
Yeah.
The rest of the crew.
To the front.
Yeah.
And then...
Because that's 50.
That's 45.
This fucking saucer.
I don't know who I should focus first, but I think that the...
The bold wish is probably going to be the sturdiest.
So I'm going to attack it with what I think a stuffed animal would be weak against.
Fire.
Fire.
And...
Well, I'll test the water on that first.
Uh-huh.
And say that I'm going to use a fire-versatile vial first before I go throwing something that I can't bring back.
Yeah, sure.
So targeting the bold, I will throw a sticky bomb, a sticky bomb, a versatile vial.
Go!
Huh!
That'll be a 14 on the die for a hit.
That'll be a 14 on the die for a hit.
Now we'll damage.
So that is expanded splash and sticky bomb.
Bang.
18 and...
10 plus.
So 28 total.
Wait.
Yes?
Yeah, no, that's just...
Right, no, that's normal.
So 18 damage on the target, and then he has sticky bomb applied to him after that.
All right.
So he will take...
Actually, a fair bit more damage from that.
And is on fire, and you just...
Oh, very unclean play.
Very unclean.
I'll have to stab you next.
I have to get over here first.
I will.
I will.
I will.
Were you motherfuckers dead on me?
All right, and so with...
So with haste...
That would give you three actions total.
Yeah, because I got the slow on me.
Yeah.
But the slow's only for this room.
Yes.
So to make matters...
Worse for him, I'm going to ensure that he doesn't get close.
And I'm going to hurl a frost vial at him.
Hopefully.
We'll see if that happens or not.
So that is a map minus five on target.
This will be map minus five.
Yes.
That will also hit with a 19 on the dice.
Hell yeah.
So that will also hit again.
This is the second bomb in the round, so I cannot sticky bomb that.
Because otherwise I'd be going crazy with it.
All right.
So that'll be six and three, and he will have to take a minus ten foot penalty to speed until the end of its next round.
I got it.
It's on there.
He is colded.
He's very...
He's slow now.
He cannot move as fast.
And that, I believe...
How do I end my turn without it?
Because they changed the buttons on me.
I don't know which one it is to end the turn now.
You can still right-click the sword thing, top right there, and right-click that.
It'll pop up the encounter tracker, then click and turn at the bottom.
Ah, there it is.
Okay.
Got it.
Okay, no, moving to the bottom of the thing.
Got it.
Awesome.
Turn over.
All right.
As we go to the other side of the vessel where the duel of pirate captains occurs,
Vicon Sharkskin, with their pin blade, stares at you, Vina.
All right.
Now it's a time.
Now we're going to get going.
This is it.
Never going to be bigger than this.
This is the one.
He tries to disarm you.
Oh, my God.
All right.
Oh, actually, I think that's going to fail.
So that'll only be a 29 versus a 33.
So that'll be a fail.
So no impact as he tries to, like, slash away at you and make your, like, make you lower your weapon guard.
But it fails.
Oh, Vicon.
Just very quickly carrying on the defensive.
Vicon, Vicon.
But that's okay.
Because, you know, there's other things that we can do.
Like, do you know how adorable I am?
He's going to feint you.
Oh, my God.
You're being attacked.
He blinks with my own chips.
Against your Perception DC.
So that, you will fail this, actually.
Uh-oh.
Because your Perception DC is only 30.
So he'll get a success.
So you'll be off guard against his next attack.
Uh-oh.
Oh, I know.
It's very, very sad.
Very, very sad what's happening.
Because I know you want to be the best pirate there ever was.
I'm going to try to make that happen.
But you got to earn it.
And he stabs you with the pin blade.
Uh...
Uh-oh.
Yeah.
Yep, yep.
So...
I'm just...
Ooh!
He's going to hit you with the pin blade.
Uh, on the backswing.
Uh...
Ow.
As you are hit, and he has the adorable up because he fainted you.
So he stabs you.
And you will take 36 more points of damage, Vina.
Oh!
He hits like a truck!
Don't be in melee with him.
Well, where else am I going to be?
I don't know.
Killing the other things that aren't going to eviscerate you?
He's the boss.
Up in your shoulder.
The next place he decides to target is he hits you in your hip.
But specifically where your hip flask bounces against.
So now almost every movement you have is pain.
Because your flask is hurting you as it goes into the flesh's gut.
Yeah, that's why.
Twinking's bad.
And that's going to be his.
Go, Captain Vina.
That's your go.
Uh, gah!
All right.
Fine.
Fine.
I'm not letting you stand in my way to get my shit done.
And I'm going to...
You're not even going to be able to stand.
Uh, I'm going to attempt to tumble through him again.
Heck yeah, let's do it.
Let's see.
Let's see.
Eh.
Oh!
Oh!
There we go.
That's a 45.
Right on through.
Yeah, that'll get him.
Yeah.
And I'm going to swoosh around to this side.
Going to get some panache.
Whoa!
That was so cool!
Don't compliment me when I'm trying to kick your ass.
That's how he's fainting you.
Exactly.
Um, and I am going to use, uh, um, I'm going to use Mockingbird's Disarm with that one.
Um, and I believe that's just another action.
It doesn't say, but disarm is just an action.
Uh, the Mockingbird is a master of running into foes and coming away with their weapons.
Mimicking their skill, you strike at a foe's wrist while tumbling past them, weakening their grip.
You attempt to disarm the enemy whose space you move through.
You can use acrobatics instead of athletics for this check.
That, that seems pretty cool.
All right.
Uh, and I don't have a button to click for acrobatics.
Uh, you just target him and make an acrobatics check against him.
I'll do the math on the right.
Very good.
Oh, that's not so good.
Worth a shot, though.
Yeah, um, let me double check.
I just need to make sure that that wasn't a crit fail, because that would be really bad for you.
Uh.
I'm not going to be very bad.
Against their reflex DC, you say.
Oh.
Uh-oh.
Um, that is a crit fail.
Ah!
So a crit fail, um, for you means you're off guard.
You'll remain off guard until the end of your next turn.
Damn it.
All right.
Yeah, Veena's going to attempt to strike at his little wrist, but he's-
Oh, you gotta be cocky, there.
See, I just gotta move like this.
Oh, okay.
Good try, though.
Good try.
Keep at it.
Keep at it.
Oh, we just can't stay mad at him.
I know.
He's just a little guy.
Just-
God!
Shut it!
Sharkskin, this isn't a game!
I'm not fucking messing around!
You-
That's why I get angry!
Yeah, hit me!
Okay, you hit him.
I hit him!
Uh, and I'm gonna-
I've got my finisher checked.
Damage.
Oh, ow!
Oh, that's a good, that's a, that's a solid hit!
Very proud of you, very proud of you!
What is the game here?
All right, I will end my turn.
There's no game.
The only game that's happening is-
We should take a break right now.
Hey, everyone!
And also that guy.
You know what you did.
The Nardec crew have unleashed a brand new merch drop over at narrativedeclaration.shop,
featuring the return of the oh-so-comfortable eclectics t-shirt, along with several amazing
designs referencing hilarious moments from the campaign.
We also have holographic stickers and magnets available so you can rep your favorite council
member of Arborea.
In addition to shirts, we have a new poster being added, along with a new beautiful game
mat design.
It's like a really big mousepad, really.
You can put your cards on and feel safe.
Eclectics aren't getting all the love, however.
We still have plenty of rock grind merch available, and a restock of the favored rock grind enamel
pins.
Grab them quick while supplies last.
And speaking of, the Eclectics merch will be around until the end of January of 2026,
so be sure to snatch it at narrativedeclaration.shop before it disappears forever!
And with that, thank you so much for your support this year.
You've all been absolutely amazing.
Be sure to check the public post on Patreon for what's happening next on Narrative Declaration.
Bye!
So I'm telling these motherfuckers that we respect the puppets that want to join our society.
The puppet shoots at Rahua.
These hoes don't want to join our society.
They just want to embrace Oblivion.
They just want someone...
Rahua takes 21 points of damage from the pin arrow.
Rahua has also slowed one until the end of Rahua's turn.
If only there was a puppet that looked like Yapdoller.
The puppet flies away a little bit.
I wish there was a Yapdoller puppet.
I wish they had a hero point to make a Yapdoller puppet.
That is the puppet's round, Tanhauser.
That's a lot of damage that just got done to his manatee throat.
Okay, um...
I...
I'm slowed one and slowed one.
I'm frightened, I'm slowed, I'm stressed out.
You know what?
I don't care how adorable you are.
Witness the deep!
And I crush nothing in my hand.
But it's a somatic gesture to bring forth the crushing depths of the ocean blue.
And I'm going to cast Grasp of the Deep, targeting every puppet within 60 feet of me,
which is all of the mook puppets, but not the good captain.
They will have to make me a DC-30 will.
That's pretty good, it's pretty good.
Okay, um...
I'll start with the flying free wish on here.
So...
Oh, that's correct.
That's not good.
Oh!
Start with the one to the south.
That's fair.
Woo!
I'll start with the bold one above you.
We're not very willful, huh?
The bold one.
That's success.
With the fighting condition, too.
That's impressive.
He really wants to stab you 87 times.
Nothing is going to stop him.
The first awesome one succeeds in the last...
Well, he's awesome.
We knew that.
Fails.
Okay.
Oh.
Fail.
Proved.
Yeah.
You have to roll me damage now
and I'll apply it as necessary.
So all those that succeed
will take half of this.
Everyone that failed
is going to get grabbed
and everyone that crit fails
takes double damage.
Let's rock.
Pretty good.
That's going to be 21 damage.
There's a one and a two there,
but also a couple sixes.
Half-sees.
Half-sees.
Half-sees.
Grabbed.
All right.
There we go.
I got him.
All right.
And since they're being grabbed,
I don't suppose they start to descend.
That'd just be too nice.
No.
Well, it was worth a shot, right?
Because you have to hold them in place, right?
Yeah.
But I will hold them in place.
I will engrave them
with the crushing phantasmal depths
of the deep, dark abyss.
And then I end my turn
and I'm still standing in the scary purple.
Okay.
Faster.
Cool.
Let's look here.
You know,
the,
I was looking at the flying one to the north
and I was looking at Tanglevine
and I was like,
oh,
I can give the immobilized condition
in which
that would basically be like me shooting a,
like a net to him.
I'm like,
oh,
I can do that and immediately make him fall to his death.
Like,
that's fantastic.
And then you did grass of the deep.
And I was like,
ooh,
fuck.
Sorry.
No,
it's okay.
It still works out.
I'll take some damage
and the fire will go away.
Damn.
He's delaying though.
So I can't,
I,
even if you delay,
you still take the persistent on your turns.
Well,
yeah.
It was always kind of beans.
It's like,
I'm going to wait until the end.
I just wait,
not take fire damage.
Though the fire will patiently wait to not hurt you.
For context for podcast,
there's the night poppet who,
uh,
saved on the persistent damage and has delayed.
I got you podcast.
It's great.
No,
why 10?
Go on.
Uh,
it's grabbed.
This is fun.
Go make my DC five flat check to cast a spell.
Yeah.
That's a guy.
I think I know what spell it's going to be.
Oh no,
you don't.
Oh,
no,
you,
you don't.
He's casting Armageddon.
Kill him.
No,
he's going to cast.
Power word kill.
Fifth level heightened,
uh,
force barrage at you.
Counter spell reactions.
Okay.
I've got a level two rank force barrage.
Okay.
So I,
you're D 20.
You got it,
boss.
Oh,
that's two.
I'll take a pity point.
No.
I don't want,
I don't want a complication.
I got enough bad shit happening to me.
Awesome.
That's fair.
All right.
So this is going to do,
um,
okay.
So reach additional action you use,
increase the number of shards,
uh,
by three.
So he's going to get seven shards at you.
Yeah.
This is gonna be nasty.
Yeah.
As,
um,
a whole bunch of,
uh,
I,
I might be able to do this.
So it works.
We,
we tried this in the other campaign and it's always kind of weird.
Um,
Oh,
this should be,
this should be fine.
Uh,
this is,
I think maybe,
we'll see.
I'm going to try this.
This should work.
If it doesn't work,
I'm just going to roll it.
Um,
it's just,
it's not,
it's not working.
I'm just going to roll the dice on my end.
Okay.
Very well.
I'm going to roll it.
You're going to take this much force damage as a bunch of,
uh,
little torpedoes come sailing into you.
And you will take 26 points.
Oh,
that's not as bad as I thought,
but I do still get hurt though.
It's just,
sure do.
Fatally bursted.
Yeah.
Doc saints are just getting shot in the middle of the street.
And like,
it's like green lantern.
Like he creates like,
like a mini gun.
And well-being grappled.
There's like,
that was a very creative use of that power.
Orin,
you're up.
I'm Orin.
I'm snoring.
I've been eternally debating on how to like,
help out my friendos here.
The one in the North has already been dealt with.
I helped out Baldrick.
So,
uh,
I'm going to have Orin do a little.
And begin skedaddling.
Try to go forth and help my friend out.
Try to get the Vena at some point.
So I'm going to go,
ha ha ha,
down to the,
uh,
port side.
of the ship,
which is pretty much south of us here for one action.
Uh,
cause it's going to take me slowly,
but surely to get there.
Ha ha ha.
Get the fuck away from me,
you goddamn bird.
Get away from me,
you saucer son of a bird.
And I will look at my friend,
Townhouser.
And I shall spin forth a first rank heal from my staff.
Ah,
thank you.
It's not going to do that much.
Don't be that happy.
Ah,
okay.
Well,
I'm just being polite.
Honestly,
I hit you for 15.
Hey,
that's not bad.
I'll click this button for you.
Don't worry.
That's almost as much.
Oh,
it's almost as much as the damage I just took.
And for my,
uh,
final action that gets for Gorgamangar,
uh,
I have a feeling that our friend here
is eventually going to get in a position
that I'm quite worried about.
So Gorgamangar is going to get over to that side
and get ready for it.
Uh,
he's going to go north of the night poppet there.
Uh,
getting ready to potentially do a reactive strike
if the poppet goes too far away.
Uh,
or pretty much goes forward anyway.
So we're going to settle to trigger it.
And that is going to be the end.
That's one,
two,
three,
yeah,
that's going to be it.
That's all my actions.
There's a shaman now.
Is that a guy you,
Mr.
Tanhauser?
Thank you,
Oren.
Now it's Rahua's turn.
It is Rahua's turn.
Rahua seeing his comrades embroiled in combat,
seize,
and opportunities.
The schemes of fate part.
I really can't get much food in right now,
but deal with you later.
I can certainly take a few hits from you,
you overgrown mannequin.
And Rahua will part the schemes of fate,
targeting all of his friends
with his only two actions this round.
If I zoom in to see now,
that's not the right,
there we go.
One,
not,
not you.
Two,
three,
four,
and Rahua will cast
loose time zero.
Yay!
I don't know if I had rolled for that.
Because if you're targeting me,
or targeting Gorgomar,
you can't see him,
so it does not go right now.
Gorgomonger.
Well,
that sucks.
None for you,
Gorgomonger,
sorry.
Nothing,
nothing for Gorgomonger.
Things begin to...
on all the people you targeted?
I targeted Baldrick,
Oren,
Tanhauser,
and Gorgomonger,
but I rolled an,
oh,
nat one
to pass the invisibility check
on Gorgomonger,
so Gorgomonger does not...
You can also do yourself,
if you want.
Oh,
yes,
it's me as well.
Oopsie doodle.
Yes,
everybody except Gorgomonger.
Everybody but Gorgomonger
gets quickened,
the air shimmers around you,
you start moving in and out,
and potentially a more
expeditious time frame.
Yeah,
so when it's the end
of your turn again,
it goes away,
so that's for everybody
to know.
Correct.
With that,
that is my go.
That's all I can do.
Are you sure
there's two actions?
Did you do something else?
No,
I slowed one.
Oh,
right,
right,
I'm sorry.
Look,
I had a plan.
Plans change.
You're good.
Look,
I'll talk with you later.
You're going to get
a whither from the principal.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah?
Yeah?
That's Thirsten.
Oh,
no.
Oh,
hi,
sorry.
No,
this was just me
having the mute button set.
Oh,
the wish up here
attempted to
break the grapple
and failed,
so it's now held
in Tannhauser's
invisible schemes
of fate.
so with that
is instead
going to try
to shoot Tannhauser
now
with a debilitating
shot
at a multiple
attack.
Always trying
to shoot
Tannhauser.
Tannhauser
more like
Blamehauser.
It really
makes you think.
It really makes you think.
That's its go.
the unaffected
awesome wish
is going to go
now.
Oh,
gosh.
Okay,
okay.
It's all coming up.
It's all coming up.
Now,
now it's time.
Make sure to keep
them,
keep them,
keep them down,
keep them down.
Um,
other spell
caster
is going
to target
Tannhauser.
Real
original.
No,
he's going to
fire off
a mirage
of magic
miller.
No!
Free thinkers.
No,
no,
no.
These are,
these are not
free thinkers.
They're awesome
thinkers.
Ah,
I'm being hit
by marvellous
being shot
out of a
minigun.
Owie,
owie.
My booby.
My,
my pooh.
My booby.
My booboo.
Oh,
my giant
tits.
Oh,
my,
my poodong
honkeros.
Oh,
no.
Oh,
my,
no.
I knew I
shouldn't have
brought those
silicon implants.
They told me
it would give me
more spell slots
and a bodacious
bond.
A tan honker?
When we're,
when we're done,
when we're done,
when we're done,
done with that,
I'm gonna,
I'm gonna,
first off,
I lose
slowed,
right?
Yes,
yes,
yes,
I'll get rid of
it.
Do I lose
haste?
No,
I get,
I have nine
rounds of haste.
Okay,
keep that for a good bit.
Yeah.
You don't benefit
from loose times arrow
because it
wasn't stacked,
but yeah.
Yeah,
how big is this?
It's 20 feet,
so I would be,
if anyone centers it,
come on.
Okay,
so that would be okay
then.
I'm just making sure.
Okay,
so I target
the bold
puppet once again
that's the Mr. Knight
and I'm going to
hurl a bunch of bombs
at him.
Okay.
So this will result
hopefully in him
taking a lot of damage.
Okay.
First and foremost,
because I learned
he was weak to fire,
which was an important note,
I draw and throw
my single
Alchemist Fire Grader.
Okay.
For the love of God,
Montresor.
Huh.
Fuck.
This is with an eight.
It will,
it will miss.
In fact,
you can take the pain point.
I would happily
take a pity point
to re-roll that.
Oh yes.
Oh yes.
I should grant you
a pity point to re-roll.
Okay,
let me,
let me,
let me quickly
hero point up
and then I will tell you
what I do for the
the thing.
Let me just re-roll
using a hero point.
That will hit this time.
With,
you know,
mildly better.
With a six on the die.
Yeah,
41.
But it becomes a 16
and so 41.
We'll hit.
I will get in there.
Uh,
and for the complication,
Thurston.
I'll do the damage
in a second.
I want to do
the complication first.
Yes.
Uh,
the name
of the complication
is,
is it cold in here?
By
patron
Be Cool.
Due to a magic surge
or failed alchemical,
the ground under
the,
under the triggering player
is now frozen
in a 20 foot radius.
make whatever
checks required
to avoid
slipping out of control.
Ah,
fuck.
No,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no.
Hey,
hey,
hey,
that's 25.
Oh,
that's right.
That's right.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
That's why I checked.
I did some math there.
There you go.
There now.
Yeah,
I did my math.
I was,
I was being a good boy.
Uh,
so we'll do the damage
on that greater alchemist fire.
That one does have
sticky bomb on it.
Do your stuff.
Hey,
that's some pretty good damage.
That's a 29 direct damage
along with the DOT.
Good.
He's going to be taking
13 persistent fire damage.
That's also really good.
All right.
What do you want me to do here?
You will say that like
one of my spare frost bombs
fell out of my pocket
and proceeded to glaze
the ground in ice.
It mixed with several
of your versatile alchemicals
that you keep on,
you expanding outwards,
crystallizing the deck.
You're not going to have
to make a chest
until you move,
but the area now
is very like
treacherous crap.
Oh,
crap.
Okay.
Well,
I don't have to move just yet.
and Baldrick
will draw and throw
another bomb.
This time,
this time I'm going
to draw and throw
a
greater.
No,
it's not a greater,
still a moderate.
No,
should I?
No.
Because if I take
the map minus five
and I roll
under where I need it to,
that's not going to go well.
I don't want to take
another one on.
Hmm.
I want to do
a precarious position.
Thurston.
These fellows,
the flying free
puppets.
Yeah.
They're
technically
a crafted object,
yes?
Yes.
Could I do
a recall
knowledge
to
get a feel
for what
they
might
be
capable
of doing?
Absolutely.
Crafting would be
the check.
I'm going to do
that then.
Go
my crafting.
Tanfastic,
it's a three
for a 24.
Forget it.
24.
Not quite
enough.
Yeah,
no,
I figured as much.
You know that they
have construct
style immunities,
but that's about it.
Hmm.
I'm left with
very little to do
because I don't
want to take
a map minus five
because they have
relatively high
armor class.
At least
the
bold one is.
Well,
I can always
take a crack
at it with
a versatile
vial and learn
something first.
I'm going to
take a versatile
vial and I'm
going to throw
it at the
the free
puppet to my
north and I'm
going to gauge
what would be
appropriate to
take him out.
But I'm going
to throw a
fire
whatever.
Why has it
not restored
my versatile
vials?
Hang on.
I have to
restore them
myself.
It looks like
yeah,
six.
There we go.
That minus
five.
That one
will hit
on a
17.
That doesn't
tell me
shit.
Sure will
hit.
Well,
it tells me
that a
33 will
hit.
Question
is by how
much,
but it
doesn't
matter
because
regular
and this
is not
sticky.
It's just
regular.
For a
solid 17
damage
on target.
All right.
you could
tell it
takes more
damage from
this.
It is
definitely
susceptible
to fire.
I don't
know.
Hey,
speaker,
does
Tenhauser
have any
flame-based
spells or
are they
all like
Oh,
I got
something for
you,
but I
need them
grouped
together
before I
can really
get a big
thing going
since they're
pretty spread
out.
I had a
plan on my
turn that
did not
involve fire
damage.
Let me
check real
quick.
I've got
something up
my sleeve.
Yeah,
because they
take like
at least
ten bonus
straight up
from it,
so it's
not the
worst thing
to use.
No,
definitely
not.
Let me
see.
How far
is this?
Okay.
They're
probably way
too spread
out.
Maybe not
those two
over there.
Yeah,
these guys
are a little
bit too
spread out.
I need
them within
twenty feet
is the
problem.
Well,
but if
nothing else
I can
like set
you up.
Oh,
wait.
Wait a
second.
Oh,
never mind.
Let me
check real
quick.
I think
what else
I can do
with my
remaining
action,
because I'm
actually at
a loss
because I
don't want
to waste.
No,
that was
my,
that was
all.
No,
I have
one more.
Oh,
wait a
second.
Uh,
yeah,
I can
get at
least two
people in
a pretty
nasty spot.
Okay.
I think
I can
put it
in such
a way
to where
I get
at least
two
people
set up
to do
fire
damage.
I can't
do it
on my
turn,
but it's
really easy
for someone
to trigger
it.
Got it.
I have
not a
lot I
can do.
So
there's
a run
run run
down with
me real
quick.
Like I
could move
and I
can strike
with this
hasted
action.
That's
about it.
Strider
strike,
strider
strike.
Yeah.
Okay.
Because I
really don't
want to waste
something on
a very
obvious map
minus
ten.
The other
option is
you could
throw another
one and
just try to
go for
splash
damage.
I could,
but considering
how high the
armor class is,
it might just
end up as a
crit fail,
but I could
give it a
shot.
I mean,
that's like
it's ten if
you get
through,
or splash
plus,
right?
Yeah.
You know
what?
I'm going
to target
the bold
one and
I'm going
to try
to just
hit him
with
splash.
We'll
see what
happens.
That's a
miss.
Yeah.
It's a critical
miss.
So it was
you goaded
me into
wasting my
goods.
I hate
you.
I'm
unfriending
you.
Perfect.
Excellent.
No.
I make
you die.
That didn't
complicate.
I got an
eight,
but yes.
All right.
Well,
with that,
it's the
puppets.
It's it's
it's goldsman's
go.
since you
didn't delay
him.
I did
delay him.
So he
woke up.
I did
delay him
because I
wanted to
see what
you all
would do.
And now
that I
know what
you all
will do,
I will
take the
reactive
strike from
there.
All right,
John.
Look at
that thing
here.
And he
got a
natural
one.
Well,
fine.
We're
rolling
real good.
This is
the
comeuppance
for this
is our
comeuppance
for being
like
unreasonably
cruel to
them for
no
particular
reason.
Oh,
no.
Oh,
my
God.
Oh,
my
God.
Why'd
you turn
into
Watto?
Son of
a
bitch.
Let's
stab you
once.
I have
a
rude.
I have
a
complication
from
I don't
know how
to really
say their
name here.
Talk in
Mocker or
just Goblin
and the
complication
name is
what would
they do?
Actually,
hold up.
sorry,
we can do
a thing
here.
Oh,
no.
I'm
changing
it.
Read it.
I'm
changing
this one.
Do it
raw.
I'm
changing
it.
So
same
person
who says
lucky break.
Your
attempted
action
fails
in such a
catastrophic
way that
you or
even the
entire
party is
unavoidably
doomed only
for the
situation to
be immediately
resolved by
an extremely
fortunate
circumstance.
I would
like
what do
you propose
Thurston on
this one?
Because I'm
thinking floor
boards go
down, but I
don't want to
mess with the
map too
bad.
The Gorgon
Mugger has
done something
to go.
Oh, shit.
I propose it
to you to see
what we can do
with the map
here.
No, I know
what I'm going
to do.
He shouts
when a bunch
of dragons show
up to kill
everyone.
Here's what I'm
going to do.
It's going to
suck, but it's
funny and it's
going to let
me use an
ability.
I'm going to
say that
Gorgon Mugger
sees the
bold wish
about to
step away
and reacts
too early,
alerting the
bold wish to
its presence.
So he doesn't
actually use
his one action
to step away.
Okay.
Gorgon Mugger
still attacks.
I forget.
Is it a fourth
level?
Like, is this
the combat
doesn't reveal
him?
Yeah, he's
still invisible.
Yeah, so the
bold wish is
going to target
you.
It has to
make a DC
11 check.
Oh, and it
fails.
So he starts
stabbing the
air and nothing
happens repeatedly.
Does he stab
87 times?
Yes.
I don't want to
get hit 87 times.
If you, if we
get hit with
that and you
have to, and
you roll 87
times, I'm
going to hit
you.
I'm going to
lose my damn
mind.
It's just like,
he's going to
do that.
He's going to
roll 87
D1s.
Far worse.
Okay.
Um, well, the
bold wish takes
more damage
though.
Uh, make
recovery check.
the second one I
rolled, luckily it
doesn't do anything
on the fire.
So he's burning,
stabbing at the
air where
Gorgamonger is.
Uh, we're going
to come back to
shark skid now.
Whoa, there's a,
there's a, there's a
knife fighting and
through the toxic
ash and there's
bombs going, there's
ice and, and,
and now your, your
friends, you
and making, making
like the, my, my,
my, my, my, my
companions stop and
we're up here and
I'm like, what's
up?
And then, uh, he'll
faint you.
Oh my God.
I really hope you
had an attack that
was just
karate chop.
You would never
see it coming.
That is true.
Oh yeah.
That one goes
through.
Yeah.
It's a, just
going to be a
critical success
on the fate.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So again, you're
just going to be
off guard.
Not that you were
already off guard,
but he is going to
become adorable.
Oh, um,
and he is going
to, he's going
to stab you with
his pin blade for
the next two
actions.
Also Zoran, I
think it's really
funny.
You said karate
chop.
Oh, it should
have been
judo chop.
Oh yeah.
Judo chop.
Oh, and I
can't flashy
dodge that.
I've got some
bad news for
you.
This is going
to be real
bad.
This is going
to hurt.
This is going
to hurt a lot.
I know what a
swashbuckler crit
looks like.
Yeah.
Can you weather
76 hit points
of damage?
I have exactly
76 hit points.
That's why I
said I can do
something.
I'm Tanhauser.
I'm a wizard.
Oh, nevermind.
You're not within
30 feet of me.
You're fucked.
Fuck.
Nevermind.
Okay.
Oh, ow.
He's going to
do 50 points
of damage to
you.
Ow.
Ow.
And then he's
going to use
his adorable
ability that
as he stabs
you, he's
like, got
you.
And now he
is going to
like use the
momentum
to flip up
onto you
in a crazy
acrobatics
attempt to
grapple you.
Oh my god.
I thought you were
going to say he was
going to use
adorable finisher.
Adorable finisher?
Uh, he does, he
does not.
He's not because
your, your reflex
is high enough, but
you could tell that
he was actually just
about to, uh, to,
to essentially
grapple you while
like running on your
back and like
stabbing you.
Um, but he
doesn't, he lands
back on the
steering wheel.
Ha ha, she's
still got it in
you.
Come on now.
You gotta hit me
back.
That's what this is
all about.
This is the
pirates tonight
fighting on the
back deck by the
steering wheel as
we go into the
desk together.
Uh, that's fine.
Let's go.
Shadow of the
Vena losses.
Oh god.
All right.
I'm gonna, I'm
gonna, I'm gonna
feint him back.
You know, um,
you wanna play this
way, I'll play this
way.
I'll feint him
back.
Um.
You're gonna say
you're gonna play
this way, I'm gonna
play this way.
It's the worst way
to start a feint.
I know what you're
trying to do.
You're not gonna
succeed.
Well, maybe that's
exactly what I want
you to think.
That's a team.
Yay!
Oh, you just
got me.
I'm so happy for
you.
This does not
feel like a
success.
All right.
I am now
going to
strike him.
Huh?
Strike him
down.
I'm going to
strike him as
hard as I can,
just going for,
going for his
little puppet
chest.
Ha!
Oh my
god!
What?
Oh my god!
Oh my god!
Don't
torture
nexus!
He ain't
gonna make
it, fellas.
It's the
sound of, uh,
it's the sound
from Misadventures
of Flapjack when
you look at
something really
ugly.
Oh!
Oh!
Oh my god!
I'm biffing it!
All right.
Well, I do
the precise
strike damage.
Do you want
pity?
Do you want
pity?
Do I even
want pity?
Got two pity
points left.
Got two
left, yep.
What do I
have?
Otherwise
you'll get
stabbed next
turn to
dawn.
I ain't
gonna fucking
doy!
Might as well
go down
with a
blaze
of
dawn.
Um.
Okay,
sure!
Vita's getting
very frustrated.
This one's
very thematic.
Uh, I will
take a
complication,
Thurston.
All right.
Uh, this
is from
Zenit,
uh, and the
complication name
is Full
Force.
Your current
mishap causes
you to dedicate
your next turn
into a single
action, such as
attacking three
times or using
a three-action
spell.
Whenever you
fail to do
this turn,
you'll make
sure it
doesn't happen
again.
Okay.
So, might
fuck me up
next turn a
little bit, but
I want to...
I want to
get this guy.
It's gonna
be attacked
three times,
okay.
Okay, that's
a thirty-nine.
That gets
him.
Okay.
No crit,
though.
That's
unfortunate.
That's okay
damage.
That's thirty-three.
He's gonna
react to this.
Um, he'll
take thirty-three
points of damage,
and then he
will adorably
stagger,
stepping five
feet back,
clutching his
wound, going,
oh, no, you
got me!
Look, the
stuffing's coming
out!
Oh, no!
There's so much
of it!
Oh, and he's
like, kind of
using his own
hand to tear
out his
stuffing.
It's
everywhere on
the deck!
Oh!
Oh, humanity!
I can't die,
but I can still
feel pain!
He'll gain the
adorable condition.
Oh, my God!
I, I'm
obsessed with
this man, but
I need him to
not die.
I need him to
be incapacitated.
I don't want to
give him the
satisfaction.
Uh, he did a
stagger action,
so attack of
opportunity is
ass.
It was a
step?
It was a
step, yeah.
Uh, you said
stagger.
He said
the ability
was staggering
and then he
steps as part
of this, the
adorable
stagger would
be the name
of the
ability.
Step is the
action as part
of the
ability.
Yeah, whatever,
nerd.
Yeah, that's
right.
Yeah, whatever.
Hey, chat, I
got a question
for you.
Who's the
nerd?
The guy who
is getting the
rules wrong or
the rules lawyer?
Type one in
chat.
Just type one in
chat.
That was two
actions for me.
I'm going to
attempt a third.
Oh, yeah, that's
right.
That's right.
Uh, and
getting ahead of
myself here.
You're good.
You're good.
Usually all I do
is get panache and
then hit.
But this time it
only took two
actions for that.
And I am now
going to use my
last action to
tumble through
him.
Going to kind
of make as if
I'm going to
faint and then
go into a
tumble.
Ooh, very good.
And swoosh
through him back
to this space.
Oh, you're
really, you're
really not going
to do the
Star Wars jump
behind him and
go leaving so
soon.
That is very
tempting.
That is very
tempting.
But I want to
get on the wheel.
I'm doing pirate
shit.
Okay, I
respect it.
I respect it.
I've never
seen Star Wars.
I'm blue.
I'm ending my
turn.
You would die.
True.
Just like the
milk, blue
milk in Star
Wars.
I'm making an
acrobatics check
to get out of
speakers, tentacle
dimension.
I do.
That's right.
Vena's made of
blue milk.
True.
You heard it
here first, folks.
She's going to
spoil any day
now.
Then I'm
going to
do here.
I've seen
better days.
The speaker's not
slowed anymore
because he took
his turn.
No.
No, I'm not
slowed anymore.
Yeah, so I'm
going to shoot him
and try to slow.
Okay.
Sweet.
He'll hit you
with the friend
shot.
Pinprick arrow
hits you,
Tannhauser,
for 19.2.
Okay.
Okay.
You two can be
a fighter and get
this bullshit feat
for archery.
All right.
Okay.
Okay.
All right.
All right.
But guess what?
Delay consequence.
Oh, that's
good.
That's good.
That's
wait.
You can't.
Why not?
Because you
counterspelled
last round.
Was that
last round?
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
Okay.
You know what?
You go next.
You go next.
That's right.
I'm cheating.
I'm sorry.
I'm trying to cheat
to win.
It's fine.
It's fine.
It's fine.
All right.
I'm slow to go.
Now you're
on your turn.
You're slowed,
but you're also
hasted,
so you get your
regular number
of actions.
Right.
But the haste
has to be spent
on movement.
Oh, yeah.
That's true.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You can't do it
with the reaction
spell.
The share.
Well,
I'm sorry,
Erndel.
My plan of
making
funny happen
is not going
to happen.
I mean,
we're working
with what we
got,
you know?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's very much
that kind of
situation.
Here's what I'm
going to do.
Yeah.
Wow.
It's so fun.
I've had my plan
locked in,
and then that
thing just before
my turn
completely threw
off the rails
of my turn.
Oh, no.
Hey, there.
Here it goes.
I'm a funny creature.
Hope you didn't
like that action
economy.
Hey, it's like
a door in the
clothes.
Oh, are we
doing silly voices?
Are we doing
silly voices again?
Yay.
We were.
A fucking
rotted clown fist
punches through
the deck.
I'm back.
Not again.
Not again.
Put him back.
Put him away.
Put them away,
Thurston.
Put that
boy away.
Oh, we got a
plan.
Oh, we got a
plan.
Thurston, put him
away.
What?
Chain lightning
off of them.
Chain lightning
off of them,
yeah.
Go my clown,
Tesla coil.
I'm flying to
here.
I am.
Describe here for
me, please.
I'm flying next
to this free
wish.
Put the port
side of the
one that's
still grabbed.
That's right.
And while they
are grabbed, I'm
going to give them
something else to
worry about.
Okay.
You wish to be
destroyed?
Fine.
Then be
forgotten.
Feel my
curse.
And I'm going to
touch it on its
cute little nose and
cast the curse of
lost time.
So it is going to
target.
I curse the target
with rapid aging or
erosion if it is an
object, a construct,
or a living creature.
I assume this is a
living creature.
Is it also a
construct?
This is like
really, really a
weird thing.
It's technically a
construct.
construct.
Okay.
So it takes 46
damage with a basic
fortitude save.
And on a failure,
we'll see if it's a
failure.
It's a failure.
It's a failure.
It is clumsy one and
enfeebled one and
can't be repaired.
And it also can't get
any more hit points
left.
Unless it's for the
next hour.
Sweet, real damage
for me.
Wheel time be
forgotten.
Why did you do
this to me?
Because you keep
shooting me, dude!
How about that,
eh?
Alright, something
something revolution,
uh, that's the
enemy.
Catchphrase.
Someone please
staple the blood
back into me and
Venus' body.
Fucking nostalgia
critic ass moment.
Epic catchphrase.
Epic catchphrase.
Wholesome
bechungis.
I don't like
that.
I like this
spell.
Whoa!
Dad, do you
see that, Vina?
Look over there!
Tannhauser did
this thing, and
wow, Tannhauser's
so cool, but you
know what Tannhauser
doesn't know that
you know?
What?
You always keep
your feet on
the deck.
Do it!
And the little
panda man
is gonna make a
concentration check.
I have to roll.
It's a flat
DC5 check.
He'll fail.
So the spell
is like lost
as he tries.
Oh, no,
never mind.
Tannhauser's
too cool for that.
Never mind,
never mind.
You, you're
trying to get
out of that!
And then for
his second action,
he will attempt
to get out.
He does not
get out, so
this one is still
grabbed and
was failed to
cast his spell.
Oren, you're
up.
I'm gonna explain
something on how
Oren heals.
I can either
range heal you
for two actions,
or I have a thing
called Doctor's
Visitation for
one action.
I can battlefield
medicine you if
I can get near
you.
Guys who
ain't near me
anymore.
Neither, neither
me nor
Veena.
Yay!
I love running
away from the
healer.
Even though Oren
has the capability
of flight.
Still too far
away for the
flight stuff.
I'm sorry.
I have to
create all my
actions.
And I was
trying to make
a plan to like,
okay, I'll bounce
off Tannhauser and
do one heal all in
one thing, get you,
and then I'll use
the rest of the
actions, the rush
over the Veena, and
you fucked it up.
That's one of the
many services.
You didn't read my
mind.
Sorry, next time I'll
read your mind.
Forgive me.
I was supposed to
go, woo, woo, woo,
woo, woo, woo.
Nah, it's okay.
I should have told
you the plan and
stuff, but no.
It's raw reactions.
Don't worry about
it.
I am going to...
I have my wow
healer messaging me
right now being like,
see, see, Thurston,
this is what happens
when you tank far
away from me.
Yeah, this is
when you fuck up.
I do have
time Zeus arrow
still.
Sorry, I'm
trampling all the
moves here, so I
can still kind of
plan this out a
little bit.
So one action
for my time Zeus
arrow, going to
move up closer
middle, more middle
of the deck here,
so on the southern
side to avoid the
big poison, because
that's still there,
by the way.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
One action for
that.
Second action.
I'm sorry,
Tanhauser, I
got to prioritize
Vina here.
You have to
prioritize the
plot character.
Come on.
That is true.
No, that's fine.
Yeah, you had
your arc,
Tanhauser.
Yeah, I can die
now, and I should
just be chill
about it.
You're dead.
You don't exist
anymore.
No, I can't
live without
Tanhauser.
Okay, one,
two, three,
four, five,
six, seven.
You apologize
here, I have to
do math.
So that's one
free, so then
it's like one,
two.
Okay, I can
make it happen.
I can make it
happen.
I basically get
up to here.
This is
technically going
to be my second
actual action move,
because the first
one was a
time's loose
arrow move.
So I basically
just like
orange, just
like wings
aiding him
that he's
going as
fast as he
can, and
he has one
action left
to kind of
get up to
Veena.
And with
great speed,
just soaring
across the
ship, Oren
will then like
to do
doctor's
visitation,
which means
I move to
provide immediately
care to those
who need it.
I stride and
use battle
medicine or
treat poison,
stuff like
that.
I'm going
to get up
to Veena
just for
game master
checking stuff.
Am I able
to like kind
of flap over
and do this
move?
Is that okay?
Yeah.
Awesome.
So basically
Orr flies up
a little bit,
lands right by
Veena, and
in that same
turn, I can
now battlefield
medicine Veena.
It's like,
I got you,
Veena.
Thank you.
I have to
double check
about my
rankings and
everything is.
the
should
go.
That's not
how that
didn't work.
Hold up.
That's supposed
to be on
assurance.
Why is that
rolling again?
One second
here.
I'm supposed
to be able to
do this with
assurance and
it's not
doing it.
Regardless,
if it was
assurance, I
know it
succeeds every
time.
Yay.
Because the
math will
basically make
it succeed.
You get
healed for
63.
Oh, wow.
That's a lot.
You may have
played.
I'll get the
button for you.
I will apply it.
Oh, sorry.
Wow.
Look, you're
getting patched
up.
You got
friends.
Thank you,
Oren.
I have no
fucking idea
what's happening.
Whoop his
ass.
That's all you
have to do,
Miss Veena.
This is your
fight.
Well,
Oren fights
together, but
you need to
kick his
ass.
Okay.
Stab the
shit out of
that guy.
All right,
man.
I'm scared.
Swiss cheese
shaped Veena.
Well, hey,
at least some
of the
puncture wounds
are now filled
with dirt and
worms.
Yay.
Isn't that
what friendship
is all about?
Correct.
He's going to
try to eat
the knife.
Yay.
Yay.
Yay.
Yay.
Yippee,
yippee.
Yay.
Could you
do me a
favor and
kill him
with 12
damage?
Ermin only
does 12
damage,
hitting on
the 36.
Damage is
damage regardless.
Unfortunately,
you can't do
one of that
because of
action economy,
but that's
the end of
Oren's turn
as he flies
across the deck
helping out
Veena and
Gorgamonger's
trying to,
you know,
dog ragdoll
this night
poppet.
And that was
Rahua's turn.
It is Rahua's
turn.
It's Rahua.
You know,
Zoran,
all things
considered,
I should have
conferred with
you before I
started scheming
on the back
end,
but you've
inadvertently
fallen into the
hands of fate
just the same.
Rahua sees
that Oren is
taking care of
Veena.
Death's door
is just barely
closed for
right now.
Rahua is
going to
stick out his
arms towards
Veena and the
remaining poppets
in the
stern of
the ship.
That's the
rear of,
I don't know
my canonical
terms.
Nor do I.
I don't play
a pirate.
You're a bad
pirate.
I think that
that's the
point of
this art.
Okay.
All right.
Okay.
I'm going to
educate you now.
Left is port.
Right is
starboard.
I believe
the stern is
the front of
the boat
and the
rear is the
poop.
You can
always remember
that port is
left because
left and port
have four
letters.
I also
remember,
I remember,
you want to
know how I
remember left
is port?
It's because
every pirate is
going to say
left port,
left port.
Yes, we
should have
left port an
hour ago.
The only
reason I
remember that
one in
particular is
because of
an embarrassing
Final Fantasy
fact and
that in the
Omega raids,
there's a
AoE telegraphed
by starboard
side or they
use the term
larboard and
larboard is the
left, so starboard
is the right.
I hated that.
There's a dev
who had a
devilish smile
when he named
those fucking
moves.
Correct.
I hate that
guy.
At least you
didn't have to
do math for
that one.
What's the
prime?
I don't know.
I didn't learn
that shit in
Louisiana.
I'm like,
fuck.
All right,
Rahua, do
the thing.
Rahua stretches
his arms out
towards the
stern of the
ship as a
bassy rumble
emanates from
his core.
Gravity
lenses inwards,
as crackling
red energies
of entropy
surge forth.
The space
at the rear
of the ship
begins to
warp and
crackle with
that same
energy.
Reality
itself
seems to be
collapsing
inwards
as the
toll of
time
begins
to be
taken upon
everything
within its
radius.
As Rahua
awakens
entropy.
All things
age and
all things
die and
at the
end of
days even
the
universe
will
grow
quiet
and
still.
You
awaken
the
cosmic
principle
of
entropy
accelerating
time
in an
area.
Flesh
falters,
plants,
shrivel,
and even
stone
begins to
crumble.
Any creature
that enters
begins its
turn and
the area
must succeed
a basic
fort save
or take
86 void
or 86
force damage
if the
creature
normally
doesn't
take
void
damage
like
constructs
and
undead.
And this
only gets
bigger
as a little
black hole
begins to
form.
Oh no.
But not quite
because it's
not destroying
everything.
Oh that
looks like a
rose.
That's probably
really good
for this
boat.
I can't
believe you
casted a
dynamo alt.
He's
figuring on
biggering.
I can't
fail.
Rose just
has a
it's just
it's fucking
made in
heaven.
That's all
it is.
Oh is
that all?
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
It's just
made in
heaven.
That's it.
Yeah.
That's it.
So I
don't know
if they take
it immediately
by the
wording
start of
their turn.
Start of
their turn.
Start of
their turn.
Yep.
And I do
have one
action left
because I
oh
yes because
I'm going
to lose
times arrow.
I am going
to
reposition
eh.
Oh
way.
Oh
way.
Boom.
And that's
my turn.
The free
wish in
front of
Tanhauser is
going to
attempt to
escape
Tanhauser's
horrific
grabby
Mcgrab.
I think
does 34
beat your
spell DC?
Oh
yes by
four points.
Okay.
Perfect.
So he will
no longer be
grabbed but
is still clumsy
and enfeebled.
For his next
action he will
target you
try to slow
shot you.
Oh my
god really.
Really.
He misses.
You want to
leave now?
You want to
go?
You want to
go?
You want to
leave?
You should
leave.
No
that's all
my actions.
Oh damn
bro.
Can we
get a more
awesome wish
to go now
please?
Yeah we are.
The awesome wish
is going.
Does the bear
only have two
actions?
He had to
spend one to
escape and
then the
shot he made
is a two
action shot.
So if he's
flying he has
to sustain
flight or else
he falls.
Yes that
is true.
However I've
generally not
been imposing
that on some
of you.
I can do
that here.
That's fine.
I've been
imposing on
myself.
But everyone
else is
targeting.
I ain't done
shit.
I mean then
I'll just
actually just
shoot him
without the
special ability
and miss
anyways and
sustain it.
Yeah.
Then Tyler
at least
move forward.
So as long
as he does
a thing
you're still
in flight.
I'll do
over here
now.
I'll do
this roll.
I need
to
I don't
know if
clicking on
this will
actually make
the saber.
Yeah here we
go.
Sweet.
So this
guy will
take this
so he's
going to
take
can you
roll
damage
for your
thing?
Yes I
can.
If you
just scroll
up I think
it should
roll damage.
Yep.
Might have
to change
it.
No it's
doing force
cool.
Do 30
points of
force damage.
Okay so
I'll take
half of that.
Um.
All right.
All right.
It's time
for us to
get a little
bit more
intense here.
You know
what to do
next right?
Yeah you
know what
to do
next.
Oh no
they've got
a special
move.
Do the
big boom.
Not the
big boom.
Oh fuck
it's a
fired ball.
Not the
big boom.
Yeah.
A small
P-shaped
blast goes
out and
then encompasses
both Rahua
and Tannhauser
in a blast
of flame.
Can both
of you click
on that
reflex?
Yeah I
sure can.
Thanks boss.
Explode!
Explode!
The one winked
at me.
Wait that's
Tannhauser.
It did.
It did.
Give me
select one
token.
I'm selecting
me.
Please let me
select my
token.
Do you
need to
re-lawn
another?
Are you
fucking
kidding me?
Oh
Rahua!
Hey Rahua.
Poor
boy.
Thurston.
Yeah I'll
definitely let
you spend a
pity point
here because
I kind of
want you to
burn through
them on this
stuff so go
ahead.
Ah that
bodes well.
Uh oh.
That bodes
exceedingly
well.
Sure does.
Let's get
the bank
spent early.
Yeah let's
spend all of
it.
Why not?
Let's
take a look
here.
Yeah no just
don't roll
another one.
That's fine.
That's fine.
It's fucking
easy.
Oh see I
had a really
funny one in
the bank that
would not help
me at all
here.
I mean
their complications
are not supposed
to help you.
No you
don't.
what if the
spell becomes
fireball
regardless.
Okay that's
funny.
That's actually
funny.
Wait wait wait
hang on hang
on.
I got it you
know you could
still use that
and it becomes
two fireballs.
It's true.
It's true.
You could do
that.
Yes and then I
can fail two
reflex saves.
No you basically
get a reroll but
you have to avoid
taking triple
damage.
I like
Erndel's really
smart in this.
Erndel is really
smart.
Multiplying
fireballs.
I don't want to
be hit by two
fireballs.
It's like I'm
playing fucking
Noida all over
again.
I'm losing it.
What are you
going with Doug?
As to not kill
Tanhauser by my
own hubris because
this one would make
me choose that
other complication.
I'll go with
I'll go with a
complication by
TNT Wendigo
called Fuck It
We Ball.
You have the
urge to do a
really dumb thing
no matter what
the outcome might
be and can't be
talked out of it.
Oh no.
Uh oh.
So uh Vina and
Orin are you a
fan of Christopher
Nolan?
I wouldn't say I'm
a fan of his but
The Dark Knight is a
good movie.
I didn't know you
were us.
Well I I I didn't
know either.
Please make the
fucking re-roll I
want to get through
this combat.
Maybe I was only
half listening I
don't know.
It's okay don't
worry.
Oh I saw five.
It's a thirty five.
Half damage from
this that's not.
Okay.
That's okay.
You both take a
turn.
That sounded
like like
something really
nasty.
That is your
character's voice you
said it to.
Yeah it's because
it's the one that
was closest to
being a robot.
You're him
hergling?
Yeah I'm him
hergling.
Yeah because it's
the closest one to
I'm Tannhauser.
Yeah you you've
selected sludge
man.
He was hergling a
little.
I did yeah.
Save me.
Aldrich.
Please save me.
He just straight
up left the room.
He's done.
No I turned away
from my mic.
Because I don't
like I've learned
to not yell into
my mic.
Because it is
loud.
In any event
my combat
prowess
I'm
what do you
think I'm
going to do?
I'm going to
throw grenades
at the
at the
bolt guy.
I'm going to
make sure he
dies.
I hope he
dies.
Okay.
I still have
one frost
vial left.
I do.
Yeah tell you
what I'm going to
use the frost
vial just so I
can ensure that
he still has a
reduced movement
so that way he
can potentially
still be in
range of the
cingulo.
I will throw
it and I will
get a 10 on
the die for a
31.
I frightened
helped him or
helped me hit him
so that's good.
Let me do the
damage.
That one will be
a sticky bomb.
So he's going to
be taking chill
chilly willy.
He's chillied.
He's almost
dead.
I need to split
my fire because
this is getting
silly.
I'm going to
target the
free papa to
my north
off the
starboard side
of the ship.
I'm going to
figure that out.
And since I
don't have any
further fire I'm
going to attack
him with a
versatile vial
of fire.
That will hit
him with a 16
on the die for
a 32.
Go my fire.
This one is not
sticky bomb.
This is just
damage.
15 damage
which will bump
up to 25.
And no I
learned my
lesson lesson.
I'm not making
any more map
minus tens.
Thurston beats
you up.
So what I'm
going to instead
do I'm going
to try and
recall knowledge
on the
you know what
I'm going to
I'm going to
try and use
that on
shark skin.
Yeah please.
Because he's
still constructed
I want to learn
what the fuck
he's working
with here.
Hopefully I can
because Baldrick is
not familiar with
toys as we've
established.
Oh that's a 15
though so it'll
be a 36.
His entire
existence is a
fairy tale.
You you
looking across
the deck come
to a realization
at fairy tales
are defeated in
the most epic
and important
of ways that
in a lot of
cases you know
for like sky
pirates and sort
of the mystique
around them
and what these
constructs are
animated by
power of wishes
and beliefs
that this is
actually kind of
the best way
for all of them
to die.
It's almost as
though you are
the instruments
of the wish
they have made
but focusing
entirely on
the Viscond
you realize
during the
rest of the
deck that in
order to truly
amp this up
and match it
the only one
who will be
able to hurt
the Viscond
is Vina.
So you know
that's a very
interesting thing
you've given to
me because
Baldrick would
probably think
that's bullshit.
Absolutely.
But Baldrick is
someone who
like has
has studied
you know a
lot of
different
theoreticals
and so
yeah he
would recognize
sort of the
symbolic
significance
of a lot
of this.
Yeah.
Baldrick would
think for a
moment that's
bullshit I
hate that and
then he would
think for a
moment longer
and he's like
no no no this
world's stupid
that would that's
absolutely how
this works.
That's absolutely
how all of this
works.
There's always
such pomp and
performance associated
with every
minute thing
associated with
legends and fairy
tales.
Of course that's
how this has to
play out and he
will also like
that moment of
this is bullshit
it's stupid looks
around sees the
like kids chalk
on the deck and
like you're fighting
on the back of
the sky.
I mean yeah but
that's that's that's
grounded stupid
that's that he can
understand that.
He's not used to
like combating
animate dolls.
That's not his
thing usually.
However he will
put aside his
personal feelings on
it because Baldrick
is a very stern
and serious man.
He does not have
too much whimsy
in his body but
he will put all
of that aside for
one moment and
shout out.
Vena!
Huh?
If this is gonna
work you're gonna
have to duel him.
I don't think
anyone else is
gonna have much
of an effect on
him.
Look around you.
You see what
we're doing right
now?
You see where we
are?
We're in a
fantasy.
Yeah!
So give him a
good out.
Try not to die.
Doing my best.
I fucking hope
so.
And he will end
his turn because
that was my third
action.
And I can't I'm
not gonna throw and
I'm not gonna move
so I'm basically
done.
Excellent.
The bold wish
is going to once
again attempt to
make a DC 11
check to stab at
Gorgamonger.
Don't do it
please.
Oh fuck.
Oh fuck.
At least
that's just to see
him.
It's just to see
him.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah but they
keep getting these.
Like what's the
chances he's gonna
roll?
No why'd you say
that?
No.
He's a goddamn
demon.
Oh god.
He's having
stabs.
It linked
the ability.
Oh my god.
Podcast can't
read it so if you
want to read it
for him.
The bold wish
stabs viciously
at an adjacent
creature 87
distinct times.
The target must
make a DC 31
fortitude save.
On a critical
success no effect.
On a success you
take 44 points
of piercing damage.
On a failure you
take 87 points
of piercing damage.
On a critical
failure you take
130 points of
piercing damage.
damage.
Well then.
You were very
tactical in how
you fought this
thing.
I'm kidding.
I think Jers
mentioned it in
chat.
I kinda wish it
was a 1d8
roll.
Let's see how
many of them
land.
Or 1d87
roll.
Oh my god.
It is either you
take 1 damage
from each half
damage or
1.5 damage.
Yeah.
That is it.
That is it.
Give me the
fortitude save
Gorgamonger.
Sure thing boss.
Wait.
Least fortitude's
my highest save.
Boom baby.
I saw that.
There you go.
You take no damage
from the 87
distinction.
Yay.
87 stop.
This is something
Thurston I'm gonna
commend you on this
because I really
much as I love the
overly prepared and
overly committed like
material I love
writing them myself.
Sometimes you just
need to have a
character that's like
my ability is I
hit you very hard
with a large hammer
roll to not suffer
like 10d10 damage.
I was like I was
doing the math and
I'm like okay like I
could like have it do
this much and I'm like
no I'm just
incorporating 87 and
at first I was like
oh on a success you'll
take half and only on
a critical fail you'll
take 87 and I'm like
no that's stupid.
We're going the
distance because
again he has nothing
else.
That's it.
That's it.
That's that's all the
bold wish had.
I tried.
Okay now I have to
make like oh god is
he still he's still
okay we'll see if I
recover from the cold.
I do not recover from
the cold.
We'll see if I recover
from the fire.
I do recover from the
fire.
He continues
stopping.
I will get you very
soon.
Oh my god.
Wow.
Okay Vicon shark skin
goes.
Vicon shark skin is
completely unaffected by
Rahula's spell.
Wow look around and
now my ship it's like
oh look there's holes in
the deck.
The woods are
eroding and and the
fools wishing on fire
anymore you can kind of
see him there and
whoa this is like
exactly what we need.
Exactly what I need
stabs mouth deceives you.
Fainting my ass.
Definitely.
Oh my god.
Definitely faints your
ass.
Gain's adorable again has
already had adorable but
will uh pin blade you.
Just a regular hit.
It's fine.
It's fine.
Ow.
Let's do some
left and
chin.
Okay.
Stabbed you.
Uh for 39 points.
Oh he's kicking my
absolute ass.
For his next action.
He will run over to
here.
And as he runs away he
says come on Vina we
have to do fight fight
right by the back.
It's gonna be great.
Uh.
Here you go Vina.
He's now reached the
aft wall which is like
it comes up maybe
waist high on you
slightly like like up
to his head almost.
He's got the pin blade
out.
He's come on.
Epic door at the back
of the ship.
Thirsten I have a
question and I'll make
a roll for this if I
need to.
Yeah.
Given that you know
what Baldrick's told
me about this kind of
being this ideal fantasy
situation.
Yeah.
If I were to just
stop fighting.
Yeah.
Do I get the sense that
that would kind of
shatter the artifice here?
Hey Oda Roshi rider.
Yeah.
Hey.
You know how like
Vina's whole thing is
like this fucking dream
of what it is to be a
sky pirate.
Yeah.
Sure suck if you had to
sacrifice that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But how do you
sacrifice that in a way
that has meaning and
value?
It isn't just cutting
off your arm.
Shut up.
Shut up.
Shut up.
Fuck you.
I was the first one.
Fuck you.
Die.
Come on.
Come on.
That was impactful.
That's so mean.
That was about his class
change.
I was trying man.
I saved my class
every day.
Vita kill him.
Tana has to gain one
experience point.
Thank you.
I'll use that to buy
my mark.
Right now.
Yes, Thurston, because
we've been using
experience this whole
time to level up.
Sorry.
It's the Warhammer
campaign reference.
Grips your stone.
Vina is going to
straighten up
and she's
going to look at
Oren.
Come on, back in the
sky, whale.
Have the swords and
go.
Vina's going to turn
her sword over in her
hand, hold it out to
one side and drop
it.
What?
Oh, you're
going to faint.
I'm not going to
fall for it.
Sharkskin.
I'm not here to play
these games with you.
I'm not.
I'm done.
I'm not indulging in
this fantasy anymore.
This is what I
thought I wanted
for the longest
time.
I mean,
you're kind of a
legend back
home, yeah?
So's mom, so's
everyone.
And now, now
that I've finally
brushed up against
all of you, now
that I'm finally
here, doing
everything that I
thought it was
going to be my
destiny, my
greatest wish to do,
it just feels so
fucking hollow
in the face of
the real world.
our world is
ending, and
we're up here
playing pirate
games.
No.
No.
That's...
I already told you,
and I told
everyone here I am
not Captain
Volley.
I'm just
Veena, and
Veena has a job
to do.
Veena came here
for one specific
purpose.
I mean, it
wasn't to play
pirate.
It's to save
the goddamn
world.
Well, someone
has to play
with them.
Sharkskin.
That's what I'm
here for.
Well.
You know how
freedom is our
first tenant?
You're free.
You can be
something else.
Whatever you
want to be.
You're not
somebody else's
dream anymore,
Sharkskin.
now you're
just you.
Whatever that
means to you.
And that just
means I'm just...
I'm just a puppet.
And he collapses
down immediately
into just like
a heaped pile,
and immediately
all the other
ones do.
Huh?
All of them.
The one that's
in front of you,
Tanhazer,
just falls like
a lifeless
doll down.
I'll grab it.
It is like
cloth in your
hand.
You may
even realize
you're not
pirates anymore.
Yeah.
It was all
kind of a game,
wasn't it?
Just a
fantasy,
a story I
was living.
I was living.
But
here we are.
Here we are
in the middle
of it.
And all I can
think about
is
how childish
it all is.
On that note,
as you say it,
you can look over
at the
collapsed pile
that is the
doll that was
once the
great Vicon
sharkskin.
and though
the body
has lost
all animacy
and has
essentially
flopped down
into a heap,
one thing
sits atop
sort of
whispering
with energy
the hat.
being is
going to
pick it up,
kind of
turn it
over in
her hand.
Then she's
going to
reach down
and gingerly
pick up
the doll
that was
Captain
Sharkskin.
Yeah,
one of the
pin eyes
just rolls
down
and falls
off.
Have fun
wherever you
are.
And she'll
kind of
prop him
up against
the wheel,
tuck the
hat under
her arm,
all right.
Guess we're
done here.
Now we
sail into
the storm.
Now we
sail into
the storm
and get
what we
came here
for.
And as
you do
that and
kind of
move over,
you can see
that the
storm itself
is dissipating.
it simply
disappears,
leaving you
with the
hat.
The hat
which somehow
now as
you're looking
at it,
it was
never the
one that
was in
the
Vicon
sort of
structure
where the
great hat
was held,
but you
know that
this is
the hat
and you
know that
this is
the item
you needed
to retrieve
here.
Seems like you
already have it,
Ms. Vina.
I guess so.
Well,
if it means
anything to you,
Ms. Vina,
I think you're
a fantastic
pirate.
I don't think
any fancy
sword things
or epic
duels
or big
ships
makes a
pirate,
but you're
fighting for
your freedom
and everyone's
now.
I think
doing everything
to keep
that freedom
makes an
excellent pirate
in my eyes.
Oren,
I think
learning that
is what
shows me
that I'm
exactly not
that.
I'm
something else
entirely,
I think.
You're you,
Ms. Vina.
We'll find out
what that
archetype means
next time.
Thank you,
everybody.
Yes!
Thank you all
so much for
watching this
episode of
Rockgrind.
If you love
what we do,
patreon.com
forward slash
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Of course,
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fun stuff.
Narrative
declaration.com
to find out
all about us
and stuff like
that.
Thank you all
so much for
watching.
We'll see you
next episode.
Goodbye!
Goodbye,
everybody.
Thank you for
showing up.
I very much
appreciate your
impressed Duc-City.
We'll see you next time.
Bye-bye.