The Dialog

When I was 23, I was working for my parents at our church, and it felt like everyone was a little mad at me. Every leader wanted a creative project, and if you didn't deliver it, you were sabotaging their ministry. I went to my mom and told her they needed someone who wasn't going to disappoint everybody. She said, "I just think you need to choose who you're willing to disappoint."

That sentence changed my life.

There's what you want to do, what people need you to do, and what God's called you to do. Most days they don't line up. My co-host Nick Surface and I pick up where Episode 27 left off and talk about what happens when you realize it was never about you.

How do you stop being a people pleaser?
Choose who you're willing to disappoint. If you try to meet everybody's needs, you don't become sacrificial. You become a martyr.

Can you disappoint someone and still love them?
Jesus disappointed people (John 6). The more you grow in love, the better you get at knowing what people actually need instead of what they're asking for.

What if following Jesus means doing what you don't want to do?
In Gethsemane, Jesus prayed, "not my will, but yours be done" (Luke 22:42). If I follow Him, I should expect moments like that. Epictetus said life is a play: you don't get to decide your part, just whether you play it well.

What is God's will for my life?
Not a job title, an amount of money or a position. God is concerned with who we're becoming (Romans 12:2).

Scriptures
Luke 22:42-44 · John 6:53-68 · Luke 24:13-21 · Philippians 2:5-7 · Genesis 22 · Romans 12:2

People and ideas
Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning · Epictetus · Josh's mom: choose who you're willing to disappoint · Josh's dad: you never fail if you learn

Chapters
0:00 Cold open and show intro
0:52 Maturity starts when it's not about you
3:24 What you want, what people need, what God wants
5:45 "It really isn't about you"
6:18 Does following Jesus mean a miserable life?
8:16 Did you do what everyone needed?
10:32 "Choose who you're willing to disappoint"
12:41 Jesus disappointed people too
13:55 What people ask for vs. what they need
14:50 Playing Jesus on Good Friday
16:28 Pour yourself out without people pleasing
18:41 You don't pick your part
20:31 Relinquish outcomes
21:00 Play your part
22:07 God's will isn't a job title
24:27 "You never fail if you learn"
25:43 Faithfulness: would you still show up?
28:04 Working with my dad for almost 20 years
28:28 "Decide" means to cut off
31:24 A selfish story makes your world smaller
32:17 What's the God answer here?

Previous: 1.27 / How to stop letting your past define you
Next: 1.29 / Do you want the truth, or just to feel right?

New episodes most weeks.

Follow Nick on IG / https://www.instagram.com/nicksurface1/
Follow me on IG / https://www.instagram.com/joshuakcraft/
Go to my website / https://jkc.is

What is The Dialog?

Ancient philosophers used the dialog to find answers to life’s greatest questions. The Dialog is a search for truth in modern life through the lens of ancient philosophy, history, and theology. This podcast will challenge your assumptions, change your thinking and show you how to master modern living.