1 01:00:01,250 --> 01:00:04,125 Good morning and 2 01:00:04,125 --> 01:00:05,958 welcome to Morning Serial. 3 01:00:08,833 --> 01:00:12,625 Okay, good morning 4 01:00:12,625 --> 01:00:13,708 and welcome to Tuesday. 5 01:00:14,000 --> 01:00:15,541 Congrats, you made it through another 6 01:00:15,541 --> 01:00:17,000 Monday and today we've 7 01:00:17,000 --> 01:00:18,625 got a high flying combo. 8 01:00:19,000 --> 01:00:21,666 It's National Aviation Day and we're 9 01:00:21,666 --> 01:00:23,500 celebrating powered flight. 10 01:00:23,500 --> 01:00:26,333 I guess reminding us basically that we 11 01:00:26,333 --> 01:00:28,208 can fly, which is pretty cool. 12 01:00:28,708 --> 01:00:29,583 Well, it's also 13 01:00:29,583 --> 01:00:32,041 International Orangutan Day, right? 14 01:00:32,291 --> 01:00:34,708 No, not your ex actual great apes. 15 01:00:34,958 --> 01:00:36,750 It's dedicated to preserving 16 01:00:36,750 --> 01:00:38,833 these genius tree swingers. 17 01:00:39,041 --> 01:00:41,000 Just reminding us that we might need to 18 01:00:41,000 --> 01:00:42,208 work as hard to save 19 01:00:42,208 --> 01:00:44,166 habitats as we do to save 20 01:00:44,166 --> 01:00:44,666 our passwords. 21 01:00:45,416 --> 01:00:47,500 Well, now a little something to jumpstart 22 01:00:47,500 --> 01:00:48,500 your day from an old 23 01:00:48,500 --> 01:00:50,208 friend, the late Matthew 24 01:00:50,208 --> 01:00:52,500 Perry who said, "There's nothing better 25 01:00:52,500 --> 01:00:53,291 than a world where 26 01:00:53,291 --> 01:00:54,916 everybody's trying to make each 27 01:00:54,916 --> 01:00:55,416 other laugh." 28 01:00:55,833 --> 01:00:58,916 Well, sometimes you're just the Ross in a 29 01:00:58,916 --> 01:01:00,666 world full of Rachels. 30 01:01:00,666 --> 01:01:02,208 So do your best and let 31 01:01:02,208 --> 01:01:03,916 the rest be their problem. 32 01:01:04,625 --> 01:01:06,250 Well, today's news, facts and birthdays 33 01:01:06,250 --> 01:01:07,916 are for August 19th and 34 01:01:07,916 --> 01:01:08,583 we're going to start back 35 01:01:08,583 --> 01:01:09,625 in 1950. 36 01:01:10,333 --> 01:01:12,875 That's when ABC began broadcasting 37 01:01:12,875 --> 01:01:14,500 Saturday morning kid shows 38 01:01:14,500 --> 01:01:16,166 and the first one was Animal 39 01:01:16,208 --> 01:01:18,083 Clinic and Acrobat Ranch. 40 01:01:18,375 --> 01:01:19,958 Now that was a little before my time, but 41 01:01:19,958 --> 01:01:21,083 it paved the way for 42 01:01:21,083 --> 01:01:22,375 some incredible Saturday 43 01:01:22,458 --> 01:01:25,125 mornings with the Flintstones, with the 44 01:01:25,125 --> 01:01:27,666 Jetsons and the Smurfs and He-Man. 45 01:01:27,916 --> 01:01:28,750 All these are classics. 46 01:01:29,375 --> 01:01:31,083 All right, well, let's move up to 1991. 47 01:01:31,875 --> 01:01:34,083 That's when the August coup began. 48 01:01:34,541 --> 01:01:36,000 Soviet hardliners placed Mikhail 49 01:01:36,000 --> 01:01:37,083 Gorbachev under house 50 01:01:37,083 --> 01:01:39,208 arrest, setting in motion the 51 01:01:39,291 --> 01:01:40,541 dissolution of the USSR. 52 01:01:41,333 --> 01:01:43,541 Then in 2010, Operation Iraqi Freedom, 53 01:01:43,541 --> 01:01:44,916 while it was winding down 54 01:01:44,916 --> 01:01:46,166 as the last of the United 55 01:01:46,250 --> 01:01:48,625 States brigade combat teams, they crossed 56 01:01:48,625 --> 01:01:50,000 the border into Kuwait. 57 01:01:50,750 --> 01:01:51,958 Well, happy birthday to you. 58 01:01:52,083 --> 01:01:53,083 Today is your birthday. 59 01:01:53,083 --> 01:01:53,958 You share a birthday 60 01:01:53,958 --> 01:01:55,833 with singer Christina Perry. 61 01:01:56,083 --> 01:01:57,041 She's 39 today. 62 01:01:57,541 --> 01:01:58,583 Former US President Bill 63 01:01:58,583 --> 01:02:00,125 Clinton, he's 79 today. 64 01:02:00,791 --> 01:02:02,708 And of course, the late Matthew Perry. 65 01:02:03,416 --> 01:02:05,666 He was born on this date in 1969. 66 01:02:06,666 --> 01:02:08,583 Well, the number one song on this date 67 01:02:08,583 --> 01:02:10,625 back in 1991 was 68 01:02:10,625 --> 01:02:13,000 Everything I Do, I Do It For You 69 01:02:13,000 --> 01:02:14,041 by Brian Adams. 70 01:02:14,333 --> 01:02:16,208 Okay, not many love songs hit that 71 01:02:16,208 --> 01:02:18,000 nostalgia button like this 72 01:02:18,000 --> 01:02:19,000 one, bringing back memories 73 01:02:19,208 --> 01:02:21,958 of junior high and images of Kevin 74 01:02:21,958 --> 01:02:24,083 Costner shooting flaming arrows. 75 01:02:24,333 --> 01:02:26,041 Well, the song was featured, as you 76 01:02:26,041 --> 01:02:26,916 probably remember, in the 77 01:02:26,916 --> 01:02:28,666 movie Robin Hood, Prince 78 01:02:28,666 --> 01:02:29,166 of Thieves. 79 01:02:29,500 --> 01:02:32,541 And Brian Adams said of this smash ballad 80 01:02:32,541 --> 01:02:33,791 that he didn't expect 81 01:02:33,791 --> 01:02:35,000 it to become such an 82 01:02:35,000 --> 01:02:35,625 anthem. 83 01:02:36,166 --> 01:02:38,166 Well, remember, check out Morning Serial 84 01:02:38,166 --> 01:02:39,250 on Instagram or 85 01:02:39,250 --> 01:02:40,791 YouTube Shorts or even on Tik 86 01:02:40,833 --> 01:02:41,208 Tok. 87 01:02:41,208 --> 01:02:43,000 And you can hear excerpts from all these 88 01:02:43,000 --> 01:02:44,166 songs of the day that we cover. 89 01:02:44,666 --> 01:02:47,458 Well, from seeing declarations of love to 90 01:02:47,458 --> 01:02:48,458 self-awareness, 91 01:02:49,083 --> 01:02:50,500 Kovey's The Seven Habits of 92 01:02:50,500 --> 01:02:51,625 Highly Effective People. 93 01:02:52,166 --> 01:02:53,916 And we are in the sub-chapter for 94 01:02:53,916 --> 01:02:55,958 autobiographical responses. 95 01:02:56,458 --> 01:02:57,958 And Kovey explains why many 96 01:02:57,958 --> 01:03:00,541 attempts at communication fail. 97 01:03:01,125 --> 01:03:02,916 Instead of truly listening, we've been 98 01:03:02,916 --> 01:03:03,875 talking about that we 99 01:03:03,875 --> 01:03:05,500 filter what others are saying 100 01:03:05,500 --> 01:03:07,041 through the lens of our 101 01:03:07,041 --> 01:03:09,375 own life's story, right? 102 01:03:09,583 --> 01:03:12,541 He calls these automatic tendencies our 103 01:03:12,541 --> 01:03:14,750 autobiographical responses. 104 01:03:15,250 --> 01:03:16,666 Okay, Kovey identifies 105 01:03:16,666 --> 01:03:18,375 four common patterns, okay? 106 01:03:19,333 --> 01:03:20,166 Evaluating, probing, 107 01:03:20,500 --> 01:03:22,208 advising, and interpreting. 108 01:03:22,791 --> 01:03:25,208 Evaluation means we judge what someone 109 01:03:25,208 --> 01:03:26,791 says, we're agreeing or 110 01:03:26,791 --> 01:03:28,375 disagreeing before we really 111 01:03:28,375 --> 01:03:29,583 even understand it. 112 01:03:29,875 --> 01:03:32,291 Then probing happens when we ask 113 01:03:32,291 --> 01:03:33,625 questions from our own 114 01:03:33,625 --> 01:03:35,208 frame of reference, right? 115 01:03:35,791 --> 01:03:37,791 Trying to get details that match our 116 01:03:37,791 --> 01:03:38,958 perspective, not theirs. 117 01:03:39,666 --> 01:03:41,500 Then we move into advising, which is when 118 01:03:41,500 --> 01:03:42,416 we leap in with 119 01:03:42,416 --> 01:03:44,041 solutions, even if the person 120 01:03:44,166 --> 01:03:45,833 isn't even asking for advice. 121 01:03:46,500 --> 01:03:47,500 Then lastly, interpreting. 122 01:03:47,750 --> 01:03:50,375 It occurs when we try to explain someone 123 01:03:50,375 --> 01:03:51,791 else's motives or behaviors 124 01:03:51,791 --> 01:03:53,916 based on our own assumptions. 125 01:03:54,625 --> 01:03:56,416 Now, each of these responses comes 126 01:03:56,416 --> 01:03:58,666 naturally, but Kovey points out that they 127 01:03:58,666 --> 01:04:00,833 block real understanding. 128 01:04:01,208 --> 01:04:02,958 Kovey writes, "When we listen 129 01:04:02,958 --> 01:04:04,916 autobiographically, we tend 130 01:04:04,916 --> 01:04:06,708 to respond in one of four ways. 131 01:04:06,708 --> 01:04:07,875 We evaluate, we probe, we 132 01:04:07,875 --> 01:04:09,375 advise, or we interpret." 133 01:04:10,166 --> 01:04:12,625 Now, these responses, they shift the 134 01:04:12,625 --> 01:04:13,750 focus back to where? 135 01:04:14,041 --> 01:04:16,291 To us rather than the speaker. 136 01:04:16,583 --> 01:04:18,291 So then the other person, they might 137 01:04:18,291 --> 01:04:19,541 start feeling unheard 138 01:04:19,541 --> 01:04:21,583 or worse, judged by us. 139 01:04:22,000 --> 01:04:24,625 Instead, Kovey emphasizes the importance 140 01:04:24,625 --> 01:04:25,791 of empathic listening 141 01:04:25,791 --> 01:04:26,958 that we talked about earlier. 142 01:04:27,583 --> 01:04:29,708 Now, this requires setting aside our 143 01:04:29,708 --> 01:04:32,833 autobiography long enough to enter the 144 01:04:32,833 --> 01:04:34,708 speaker's frame of reference, right? 145 01:04:35,458 --> 01:04:37,333 Empathic listening is not about 146 01:04:37,333 --> 01:04:39,000 agreement, but about 147 01:04:39,000 --> 01:04:40,541 accurate understanding. 148 01:04:41,041 --> 01:04:43,083 Kovey explains that once people feel 149 01:04:43,083 --> 01:04:44,500 genuinely understood, trust 150 01:04:44,500 --> 01:04:46,041 is built in, they naturally 151 01:04:46,291 --> 01:04:49,375 open up to influence, dialogue, and even 152 01:04:49,375 --> 01:04:50,500 advice at that point, 153 01:04:50,833 --> 01:04:52,125 if it's asked for, okay? 154 01:04:52,541 --> 01:04:54,958 Well, the lesson of this sub-chapter is 155 01:04:54,958 --> 01:04:56,000 that if we want 156 01:04:56,000 --> 01:04:58,291 stronger communication, we must 157 01:04:58,291 --> 01:05:00,083 recognize our tendency to 158 01:05:00,083 --> 01:05:01,625 center our own perspective. 159 01:05:02,166 --> 01:05:04,125 And then by resisting the urge to 160 01:05:04,125 --> 01:05:05,583 evaluate, probe, advise, 161 01:05:05,583 --> 01:05:07,833 or interpret too quickly, we 162 01:05:07,833 --> 01:05:09,500 create space for others 163 01:05:09,500 --> 01:05:11,416 to feel seen and respected. 164 01:05:12,083 --> 01:05:13,666 Okay, here's your takeaway. 165 01:05:14,875 --> 01:05:17,083 Communication improves when we quiet our 166 01:05:17,083 --> 01:05:19,416 autobiographical responses and we 167 01:05:19,416 --> 01:05:21,708 practice true empathy, right? 168 01:05:22,500 --> 01:05:23,166 Listening first to 169 01:05:23,166 --> 01:05:25,333 understand rather than to respond. 170 01:05:26,000 --> 01:05:28,458 So whether you're launching into a day 171 01:05:28,458 --> 01:05:29,791 like a jet or just 172 01:05:29,791 --> 01:05:31,666 hanging out like an orangutan, 173 01:05:32,208 --> 01:05:33,750 remember your best effort 174 01:05:33,750 --> 01:05:35,833 comes from owning your story. 175 01:05:36,291 --> 01:05:37,583 Hey, thanks for listening today. 176 01:05:37,833 --> 01:05:40,291 Come back tomorrow for more nostalgia and 177 01:05:40,291 --> 01:05:42,750 as always, have a fantastic day. 178 01:05:44,291 --> 01:05:45,958 Don't forget to follow and subscribe to 179 01:05:45,958 --> 01:05:46,583 the Morning Serial 180 01:05:46,583 --> 01:05:48,708 podcast on the One Life Live 181 01:05:48,708 --> 01:05:49,125 It channel. 182 01:05:49,708 --> 01:05:51,666 You can find more episodes and videos by 183 01:05:51,666 --> 01:05:52,416 visiting our YouTube 184 01:05:52,416 --> 01:05:53,708 channel and the website 185 01:05:53,791 --> 01:05:56,750 at seanenglis and at seanenglis.com, 186 01:05:57,041 --> 01:05:57,833 where you can also 187 01:05:57,833 --> 01:05:59,625 follow our other podcast, the 188 01:05:59,625 --> 01:06:00,875 Mr. and Mrs. English podcast 189 01:06:00,875 --> 01:06:02,500 and the Life Happens podcast. 190 01:06:03,333 --> 01:06:05,458 And these other podcasts will dive deeper 191 01:06:05,458 --> 01:06:06,375 into everyday issues, 192 01:06:06,625 --> 01:06:07,416 self-improvement and 193 01:06:07,416 --> 01:06:09,916 well-being, business and finance, and we 194 01:06:09,916 --> 01:06:11,166 welcome special guests too. 195 01:06:11,625 --> 01:06:12,416 So join us. 196 01:06:12,416 --> 01:06:13,791 It will be a good time, I promise. 197 01:06:14,458 --> 01:06:15,333 Thanks again for listening. 198 01:06:15,500 --> 01:06:17,083 Have a fantastic day and 199 01:06:17,083 --> 01:06:17,625 we'll see you tomorrow.