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Speaker 1: Welcome by to Beardless, stickless Me.

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Speaker 2: That's a good representation of the way I hear your voice.

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Speaker 1: No, that's that's gonna be my new thing, you know

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Speaker 1: how like Robin Williams Head Good Morn and Vietnam for

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Speaker 1: that movie, We're always going to start the show welcome

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Speaker 1: back to Beardless.

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Speaker 2: That's how we wrote the listeners.

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Speaker 1: In, you know, fucking like Bart Simpson had, you know,

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Speaker 1: I Corumba. That's what we're getting known for. I'm welcome

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Speaker 1: back to Beard the stickless me. I'm kivin. People don't

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Speaker 1: have hooks anymore, you know hawk To I had. She

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Speaker 1: had a hooker. Whole hook was hawk To. That was

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Speaker 1: the whole fucking thing. We need a fucking gimmick. Hey,

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Speaker 1: you know that girl that I'm always like, hey man,

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Speaker 1: what about fucking I'm your daddy? Yes, she don't. She

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Speaker 1: ain't even on Spotify no more. Really, No, she got

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Speaker 1: a fat fucking deal with uh serious XM, which had

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Speaker 1: to be real fat because like that's jumping from like,

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Speaker 1: you know, a medium where everybody knows you to a

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Speaker 1: place where like they're nearly as many serious XM listeners

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Speaker 1: as there are podcast listeners at this point.

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Speaker 2: Is she going to have like a radio show or

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Speaker 2: is it a pot or is it still a podcasting?

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Speaker 1: And that's the thing. It's like the podcast was always

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Speaker 1: just a radio show, but it's her doing the same

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Speaker 1: thing there, and I don't know what that is. I've

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Speaker 1: never heard the show, but I know she's rich. I

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Speaker 1: want to be as rich as her.

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Speaker 2: That is like the goal.

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Speaker 1: This is it. This is the only way we get

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Speaker 1: that riches with. This is our fucking what's that show called? Uh?

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Speaker 2: Call her?

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Speaker 1: Call her daddy? I think this is our call her

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Speaker 1: daddy moment she's it wasn't Alex.

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Speaker 2: I think her Alex Earl.

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Speaker 1: I think Alex.

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Speaker 2: I think Alex Earl.

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Speaker 1: Maybe Cooper.

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Speaker 2: Maybe it's Alex.

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Speaker 1: Cooper or maybe I'm confusing that with Alice Cooper the

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Speaker 1: way I confused Mary Carpenter last weeks.

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Speaker 2: Not specified names because my dad I can't be trusted.

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Speaker 1: But wait, what was my point?

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Speaker 2: I don't know. All I have in my mind right

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Speaker 2: now is Hawk too.

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Speaker 1: I mean this could be our hawk to. No, that

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Speaker 1: girl is gone off Spotify for the taking. You're right, no,

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Speaker 1: but we're also on Spotify.

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Speaker 2: Yeah that's true, that's true.

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Speaker 1: But let me tell you something. If Spotify was like,

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Speaker 1: let's talk money, then you know.

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Speaker 2: We're grateful for where we are right now and we

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Speaker 2: love iHeart Radio. Yeah I'm bitching, but like it's not

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Speaker 2: like they're not going to hear this.

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Speaker 1: IM just saying, you know, I'm.

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Speaker 2: Just putting it out there.

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Speaker 1: Welcome. That's what they're gonna lose out and that's why

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Speaker 1: Spotify is gonna come calm. They're like, look, the first

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Speaker 1: thirty episodes were pedestrian, but once you found that hook so.

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Speaker 2: True, things really turned around.

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Speaker 1: Well today that's your hawk too. They'll say that's your

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Speaker 1: hawk to a moment, and we had cameras rolling on it,

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Speaker 1: so people will be like, that's you know, how hawk too.

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Speaker 1: It was like you got spit on that thing and

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Speaker 1: everyone's like. Someone will be like, you know, turn the

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Speaker 1: welcome back to like a sex joke, and people will

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Speaker 1: be like, so we could do the welcome back coin.

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Speaker 1: Oh wow, pump and dump a rug pull if you will.

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Speaker 2: My god.

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Speaker 1: Alleged an event. Before we fucking get the riches of

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Speaker 1: any podcast, we got to address a thing or two.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, last week for those that watch the show,

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Speaker 1: who can see the show at that Kevin smith club

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Speaker 1: dot com. You probably couldn't even pay attention to what

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Speaker 1: we were talking about as you saw my hair creep

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Speaker 1: out the front of my cast until I looked like

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Speaker 1: I'd fallen out of a moving car and rolled down

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Speaker 1: a Moholland drive and rolled into like the streets in

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Speaker 1: the valley and then stood up. That's what I fucking

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Speaker 1: looked like. I'm sitting across from somebody who comes dressed

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Speaker 1: to the nines, full fucking make ready to vogue at

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Speaker 1: all times, and she can't have the common decency to be.

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Speaker 2: Like that picture I thought it would be. I thought

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Speaker 2: you would be embarrassed.

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Speaker 1: Why that was embarrassed by what I looked like. I

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Speaker 1: would have I could have would have been happy to

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Speaker 1: have some help together.

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Speaker 2: I thought about it. I did notice, and I did,

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Speaker 2: but I was internally strategy.

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Speaker 1: I noticed it was a third person at our podcast table,

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Speaker 1: this fucking like it was.

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Speaker 2: It wasn't that bad.

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Speaker 1: It was so bad. Like I was downloading the file

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Speaker 1: before I had to upload it to Will, and you know,

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Speaker 1: I just scan through them to make sure it's all

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Speaker 1: there and stuff. As I'm scanning through, I'm watching this

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Speaker 1: hair slowly come out of the fucking you know, front

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Speaker 1: of my I wear my caps backwards, my baseball caps backwards,

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Speaker 1: so the back is the front. Yeah, so the hair

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Speaker 1: is sticking out the front all fucking stupid. And it's

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Speaker 1: a real sticking point with me, Like if you watch

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Speaker 1: me in live performances, like every five minutes, I will

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Speaker 1: fix my hat.

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Speaker 2: I know. That's why I thought you were going to.

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Speaker 1: Do it, Jennifer. I'm always like, you gotta fucking tell me,

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Speaker 1: like just I don't care where. I just say hair

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Speaker 1: or something, but like if you're seeing it, And she

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Speaker 1: was like, I don't give a shit. I was like

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Speaker 1: I do. I look like an asshole, and so she's like,

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Speaker 1: all right, So now she says it not as often

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Speaker 1: as she should, I feel, but here I was getting

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Speaker 1: into the show. I wasn't thinking about my appearance and shit,

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Speaker 1: but I still have presence of mind to fix my

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Speaker 1: hat throughout the show. I think I did it like

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Speaker 1: five times. Is it happening right now?

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Speaker 2: No?

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Speaker 1: No, because you were staring at me, like I.

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Speaker 2: Feel like I have to watch it.

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Speaker 1: I'm looking at this thing and I look so ratchet,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, she didn't she could have just said

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Speaker 1: a thing, so I texted Harley. I was like, bro, he.

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Speaker 2: Sent me a close and I.

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Speaker 1: Said to her screenshot and I'm like, you don't want

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Speaker 1: to say anything. She was like I did. I just

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Speaker 1: didn't want to be here. I didn't know what was

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Speaker 1: right in this situation. Is always right to be like, Dad,

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Speaker 1: you look like it asked.

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Speaker 2: I was trying to telepathically tell you, but you didn't

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Speaker 2: pick up on it.

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Speaker 1: I know it was c was just like, I didn't

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Speaker 1: know if I can say. I was like, we can

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Speaker 1: cut it out, but I wouldn't care, Like I don't

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Speaker 1: care people hear it. I'm not like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: they'll know that my hair. It already happened. The damage

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Speaker 1: was done.

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry now.

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Speaker 1: I want that be an ad for those who listened

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Speaker 1: to the show, but like I've never seen it. They're like,

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Speaker 1: you mean, I could watch this fucker aggressively groof goofier

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Speaker 1: throughout the show like a total asshat. That's one of

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Speaker 1: the few bucks so that Kevin Smithville dot com. I'm

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Speaker 1: that's full now. She's really mellow made up. Well, look

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Speaker 1: at her. She thought into her outfit, into her makeup.

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Speaker 1: Time was put into him. On the other hand, look

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Speaker 1: at a hair keeps coming out? What Harry got left?

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Speaker 1: Stick it out? A little hat and all that. What

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Speaker 1: a deck wad. I love this show. I love to

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Speaker 1: hate it.

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Speaker 2: That is what happens.

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Speaker 1: I I was inspired. First off, do you have anything

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Speaker 1: to add? You got anything? Motherfucker? What that fuck? I

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Speaker 1: see you're wearing a Harley Davidson jacket. It's very rare

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Speaker 1: that Harley wears Harley.

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Speaker 2: I I like sporting some Harley Davidson apparel.

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Speaker 1: From time to time.

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Speaker 2: But then people are like, are you wearing that so

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Speaker 2: that you remember your name?

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Speaker 1: Is kind of what I just did, which is what

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Speaker 1: you just Where are you going that You're so dressed

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Speaker 1: up with the hoop earrings and all this ship and

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Speaker 1: make up in the fucking plan? Uh?

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Speaker 2: I feel like you're coming at me. I'm going to

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Speaker 2: a screening of my very good friend Olivia's new movie.

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Speaker 1: This is Olivia from Cruel Summer.

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Speaker 2: Yes, and the new movie is Heart Eyes.

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Speaker 1: I saw a trailer for that. Yeah, I can't wait

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Speaker 1: to see you here. You're gonna you're seeing the movie.

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Speaker 1: I'm also going to screening tonight.

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Speaker 3: Matter of factor, look at us, ut a, what what what?

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Speaker 2: Mine's only mine's only at a little place called Sony.

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Speaker 1: The actual lot.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a little casual spot named Sony.

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Speaker 1: Tell them two times. Goldberg's director Kevin Smith's high. That's

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Speaker 1: when I well, I was fucked with the Sony Lot.

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Speaker 1: And that was before I had the heart attack, so

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Speaker 1: I wasn't a vegan yet, and so on the Goldberg set.

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Speaker 1: Their craft service was excellent, and one day they put

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Speaker 1: out this like chicken salad and I was like this, this,

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Speaker 1: this chicken salad tastes like the chicken salad that I

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Speaker 1: could used to get at both the Willow Deli back

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Speaker 1: in New Jersey, which closed me and Brian Johnson after

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Speaker 1: like classes at Brookdale Community College. Just stop out of

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Speaker 1: Willow Deli and get a fucking chicken salad sandwich, I said.

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Speaker 1: And it also tastes like the chicken salad at the

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Speaker 1: ink Well that I would get on it toasted Pita

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Speaker 1: ink Well being my favorite restaurant that ever existed. Now

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Speaker 1: it doesn't exist anymore. I'm so sorry, poor one out

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Speaker 1: for the ink Well. So I loved this chicken salad,

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Speaker 1: so I said it a crafty. I was like, hey, man, okay,

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Speaker 1: get some of as chicken salad like to go home.

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Speaker 1: She said, oh yeah, she gave me a big fucking

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Speaker 1: thing of it. And I was eating so much as

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Speaker 1: chicken salad like. I was like, oh God, does the

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Speaker 1: chicken sala This tastes like a happy childhood. So I

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Speaker 1: was like, Yo, where do I do you make this?

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Speaker 1: To the craft service like? And she was like no,

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Speaker 1: I get it from the service. I was like can

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Speaker 1: I can you put me in touch with the service

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Speaker 1: and she was like, well they yeah, but she's like,

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Speaker 1: they don't make like human portions, they make cruise portions.

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Speaker 1: And I was like that's good. And so I got

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Speaker 1: in touch with this place that made it, and they

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Speaker 1: were like, who what productions this for?

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Speaker 2: And I was like production of one Bro, production of

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Speaker 2: Kevin Smith's life.

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Speaker 1: And so they would make like a gigantic you know,

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Speaker 1: one of those tins that you see at a fucking

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Speaker 1: wedding smile food full of chicken salad.

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Speaker 2: If it's not clear, my dad hyper fixates on certain food.

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Speaker 1: When I find something I like it, So I was

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Speaker 1: doing that for a while. I would have to drive

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Speaker 1: over to over near Sony and pick it up from

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Speaker 1: this fucking place.

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Speaker 2: You really are so interesting, like that.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if that's interesting. Found a food I like.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's what you do every time. When you

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Speaker 2: found the Twizzlers, you bought twenty five packets and flew

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Speaker 2: them across the country.

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Speaker 1: You did about twenty five pack the Twizzlers chocolate Twizzers

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Speaker 1: at the food town in Atlantic Islands because they don't

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Speaker 1: have chocolate Twiszers.

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Speaker 2: Are you scared that well?

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Speaker 1: In this in that sort of scary city is something.

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Speaker 1: It keeps me awake at night. I'm like, what if

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Speaker 1: they run out of chocolate twizzers? Should not like I

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Speaker 1: stick with it? I commit.

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Speaker 2: You commit hard.

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Speaker 1: I do, and it's not like I commit and I

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Speaker 1: love it hard and then I lose interest in it.

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Speaker 1: It becomes part of the matrix.

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Speaker 2: Remember when my friend Chris would make you sloppy Joe's

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Speaker 2: yah vegan sloppy Joe.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and you said it the other day and I

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Speaker 1: was like, why did that fucking stop?

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Speaker 2: He's making his own movie now, so he's.

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Speaker 1: Making a motion picture.

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Speaker 2: Yeah he is.

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Speaker 1: I'll swap him advice for a fucking vegan sloppy joke.

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Speaker 1: Maybe do you want tips from a guy you know?

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Speaker 1: I've been around the movie business maybe don't know man

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Speaker 1: or not, but I did make clerks back in nineteen

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Speaker 1: eighty fourth seminole par American independent colmerks very iconic. Oh

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Speaker 1: my god, but yeah, I'll fucking I'll talk directing to.

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Speaker 2: Get some fucking to get some Joe's.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I could pay for it too, but

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Speaker 1: either way, either way. But when you mentioned him the

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Speaker 1: other day, like that get way he used to make,

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Speaker 1: you began sloppy jokes and I was like, that's right.

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Speaker 1: I used to have something and sloppy Joe. That's what

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Speaker 1: happens is I love the thing to death and then

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Speaker 1: something else pops up and I get like fixated on that.

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Speaker 1: But it's not like I stopped liking the thing.

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Speaker 2: You just move on to a new hyper.

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Speaker 1: Give me some vegan sloppy Joe from your boy what's

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Speaker 1: his name?

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Speaker 3: Chris?

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Speaker 1: Chris, Chris making.

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Speaker 2: A movie, Chris?

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Speaker 1: Is it about beingon Sloppy Joe's.

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Speaker 2: That's the story of Ironically.

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Speaker 1: It's about the time that he made Vegan Sloppy Joe's

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Speaker 1: for a low grade celebrity in the Hollywood Hills. I

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Speaker 1: was like, wait, that sounds wait.

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Speaker 2: For a level celebrity.

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Speaker 1: I believe he has Joshad playing you what I want

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Speaker 1: to You're not alone. He wants a real actor, somebody

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Speaker 1: who feels the method. He wants this chicken salad. I

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Speaker 1: don't know if you remember, but I took it with

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Speaker 1: us many places, like I took it to Sundance and

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Speaker 1: I remember they stopped me at the TSA. They're like, you,

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Speaker 1: you can't bring this much food through. I was like,

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Speaker 1: it's just chicken salad. They're like, well, how do we

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Speaker 1: know that? And I was like, you can root around it.

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Speaker 2: How much was there?

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Speaker 1: It was a big fucking enough to take the sun dance.

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Speaker 2: Like a like a blatter like what.

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Speaker 1: But packed into like big tupperware tubs. I should put

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Speaker 1: it under the plate, but I brought it on carrying wed.

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Speaker 1: I love that chicken salad was so good. Then I

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Speaker 1: had a heart attack, went vegan.

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Speaker 2: And here we are and the chicken. Yeah, no more chicken.

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Speaker 1: And it was the chicken salad I mean because it

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Speaker 1: was straight up real mayonnaise too. And I wasn't a

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Speaker 1: big mayonnaise guy, but I liked like fat free mayonnaise.

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Speaker 1: But at one point I brought him fat free manaise.

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Speaker 1: Can you make it with this.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, this guy talks about this, talks about

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Speaker 2: the tails of the one singular person who came and

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Speaker 2: ordered production size case.

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Speaker 1: Motherfucker you know him? This he fucking he would eat

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Speaker 1: is just him all the chicken salad. He's that guy.

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Speaker 1: Was his name Kevin James?

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Speaker 2: Like, what's his name? Josh Gad?

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Speaker 1: Yes, Josh Gadding, pretty pretty good pull.

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Speaker 2: Remember when we saw him in Book of Mormon, him

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Speaker 2: and Andrew Reynolds.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, before the fucking before they were super fam before

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Speaker 1: he was a fucking snowman.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely, you want to build a snowman.

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Speaker 1: I still haven't seen it? What still never saw I'll

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Speaker 1: watch it with you, yes, one day when you're like,

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Speaker 1: I'm you've seen it. I can't believe I haven't seen

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Speaker 1: this picture. Man, they've had two of them, but a

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Speaker 1: couple of Frozen.

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Speaker 2: I feel like you've probably missed the past few Disney movies.

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Speaker 1: Well, honestly, once you grew up like that suddenly, And

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Speaker 1: it's weird because I loved animated movies before you. But

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Speaker 1: like you know, once you stop going animated movies as

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Speaker 1: much like it's not like you stop going, but once

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Speaker 1: you stop being a kid. She stopped going. I guess

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Speaker 1: when she stopped gone. She don't fuck with cartoons at all.

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Speaker 2: I love cartoons.

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Speaker 1: I mean she does love the Simpsons. Still. The other

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Speaker 1: night we put on the Simpsons. She watched hours of it,

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Speaker 1: but a classic, but generally she's not like into animated films.

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Speaker 1: She's not like, I'm against this, but that's not her

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Speaker 1: poisonous ship.

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Speaker 2: I have three words for you inside two.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, she won't. She she'll never watch that again.

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00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:08,600
Speaker 2: Because it was it wasting emotional.

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Speaker 1: She was like, oh god, what did we watch recently?

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00:17:10,920 --> 00:17:14,560
Speaker 1: Where she was also like knee caps fucking emotional. She

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Speaker 1: got oddly emotional kneecap. She gets weirdly emotional things where

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Speaker 1: I'm like that that's your.

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Speaker 2: That's a powerful story.

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Speaker 1: Like I'm not saying it's not a powerful story, but

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Speaker 1: this is. This is why she was crying. She was

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Speaker 1: just like, language is so important. What that's would fucking

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Speaker 1: melt your cold art? And there was something else too

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Speaker 1: the other day where I'm.

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Speaker 2: Like, that's melts your cold heart?

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Speaker 1: Is that what you said? Yeah, that's what you want

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Speaker 1: to let it go.

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Speaker 2: She's a snow queen.

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Speaker 1: The uh and that chicken salad bro.

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Speaker 2: This is not very vegan of you.

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00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:58,800
Speaker 1: It's like one hundred and twenty dollars for like a

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Speaker 1: tub of it.

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Speaker 2: Oh my yeah, Oh my god, you're so weird, such

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00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:06,399
Speaker 2: a weird guy.

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Speaker 1: The here, the what are we talking about in the

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Speaker 1: first place? Though? Oh? How's my hair?

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Speaker 2: I just want to check in. It's good.

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Speaker 1: Part of the reason I'm wearing this hat is because

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Speaker 1: it doesn't move as much as the great.

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Speaker 2: Oh is that why you're wearing this hat?

347
00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:26,040
Speaker 1: I can't care on you.

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00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:28,439
Speaker 2: Well, maybe just do it just in case. Maybe just

349
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Speaker 2: do it just in case. Now I'm paranoid.

350
00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:32,800
Speaker 1: Now you're talking to the dogs like behind my back,

351
00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:34,800
Speaker 1: going like I let him look like an.

352
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Speaker 2: Asshole to mom after I'm like, he's here.

353
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Speaker 1: Okay, I have a list of things. Last episode we

354
00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:58,919
Speaker 1: were trying we were talking about departments I've structured. I

355
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:03,600
Speaker 1: was shown to some apartments. Oh no, excuse me, yes,

356
00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:08,600
Speaker 1: and you you're gonna live with it. You're gonna accept it.

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00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:14,960
Speaker 1: We'll see. It's just to give the show a skill.

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Speaker 2: I agree there should be departments. I just I fear

359
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:20,200
Speaker 2: what your departments are.

360
00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:23,280
Speaker 1: Apparently people don't fucking just talk to each other anymore.

361
00:19:23,359 --> 00:19:26,600
Speaker 1: Now everything is like I don't know what people fucking do,

362
00:19:26,720 --> 00:19:30,640
Speaker 1: but like this shit like two people just fucking bullshitting'

363
00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:33,480
Speaker 1: that need apparently than anything.

364
00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:35,600
Speaker 2: Well, here we are.

365
00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:39,040
Speaker 1: This is I fucking look, I've been doing this shit

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Speaker 1: since two thousand and seven. This is my thing.

367
00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:44,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it is.

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00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:49,960
Speaker 1: Granted I don't make any money off it. Yourgan and

369
00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:54,120
Speaker 1: and call Her Daddy and all of these other multi

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00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:58,199
Speaker 1: billion dollar podcasts by this point, by the time they

371
00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:01,119
Speaker 1: hear this, we will have done love it or leave it.

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00:20:01,119 --> 00:20:01,800
Speaker 2: It's so true.

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00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:05,600
Speaker 1: Should be fair for those listening since I'm going away

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00:20:05,920 --> 00:20:08,320
Speaker 1: and I'm on currently while you're listening to this The

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00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:11,320
Speaker 1: Jane Silent Bob Oral Sex Tour a U R A

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00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:14,960
Speaker 1: L s CTS. I've had to spell that so many

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00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:19,320
Speaker 1: times in radio interviews. That's so one TV interview wouldn't

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00:20:19,359 --> 00:20:20,840
Speaker 1: let me even say it. They're like, we can't name

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00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:22,840
Speaker 1: the tour. I was like, but your TV you can

380
00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:24,920
Speaker 1: literally put the words on screen. They're like, we'll still

381
00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:30,000
Speaker 1: get complained. WHOA. So we're on the Oral Sex Tour.

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00:20:30,119 --> 00:20:31,960
Speaker 1: So in advance of that, me and Harley had to

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00:20:32,040 --> 00:20:36,480
Speaker 1: record so that we didn't miss a week. So we're

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00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:39,080
Speaker 1: in the past. You're listening to this in the future.

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00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:40,680
Speaker 1: We don't even know what happened between now.

386
00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:41,480
Speaker 2: We don't even know.

387
00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:42,920
Speaker 1: I could be dead.

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00:20:43,119 --> 00:20:47,040
Speaker 2: Dead, it could be dead. Do not say that. Oh

389
00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:49,440
Speaker 2: my god, I fucking hate that. Don't say that.

390
00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:52,480
Speaker 1: It would be the highest listened to episode. He predicted

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Speaker 1: his own demise.

392
00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:55,840
Speaker 2: I hate I hate it. Just take it back? Can

393
00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:56,440
Speaker 2: you take it back?

394
00:20:56,520 --> 00:20:58,640
Speaker 1: In the odd department called when will I die?

395
00:20:58,720 --> 00:20:59,960
Speaker 2: Can you say take about I take.

396
00:20:59,840 --> 00:21:01,480
Speaker 1: That, can take it back. I don't want to die.

397
00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:04,440
Speaker 1: Nobody wants to die less than me. Don't knock your head.

398
00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:08,640
Speaker 1: What is that? What? Religion and faith? Is that?

399
00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:09,440
Speaker 2: CD?

400
00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:15,360
Speaker 1: So here's some departments.

401
00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:18,159
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm ready. I thought we already decided on the

402
00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:19,000
Speaker 2: three departments.

403
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:22,000
Speaker 1: I've added more. Three.

404
00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:22,760
Speaker 2: What do you got?

405
00:21:23,119 --> 00:21:25,520
Speaker 1: I got vegan, amaur and passion ration. What's the third one?

406
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:27,520
Speaker 2: What music we're listening to?

407
00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:30,240
Speaker 1: Oh? Do you have a name for that? No? Do you?

408
00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:31,320
Speaker 2: Yes?

409
00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:33,040
Speaker 1: Well I named the other ones. I just needed a

410
00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:36,280
Speaker 1: name for that one I forgot all right, so let's

411
00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:36,760
Speaker 1: call it.

412
00:21:39,520 --> 00:21:43,320
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, bars, Oh so true. See why would

413
00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:45,199
Speaker 2: I even take the time to try to come up

414
00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:49,760
Speaker 2: with something like I have a new band name, but

415
00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:52,440
Speaker 2: I don't want to say it just in case it's is.

416
00:21:52,359 --> 00:21:55,000
Speaker 1: There a pen here right on your phone so I

417
00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:58,560
Speaker 1: can see it? Okay, But we considered somebody should name

418
00:21:58,560 --> 00:22:04,159
Speaker 1: their band bars. Where do you play in bars? The

419
00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:06,880
Speaker 1: name is I'm not gonna say it out loud. Yeah,

420
00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:08,280
Speaker 1: did you look that up?

421
00:22:08,520 --> 00:22:09,080
Speaker 2: Yeah?

422
00:22:09,119 --> 00:22:10,880
Speaker 1: And no, are you serious?

423
00:22:11,119 --> 00:22:17,359
Speaker 2: Yeah? So our old name was Wench, which I loved somebody, yes,

424
00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:20,520
Speaker 2: but out of respect, I mean, there's always going to

425
00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:23,959
Speaker 2: be like many bands named a name. But there's like

426
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:30,080
Speaker 2: this young group of girls in like London, I think,

427
00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:32,600
Speaker 2: or somewhere and they are Wench. Yeah, and they are Wench,

428
00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:34,560
Speaker 2: and I'm not gonna I'm not gonna fucking.

429
00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:38,240
Speaker 1: I respect that. We did a thing called Jane Silent

430
00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:41,840
Speaker 1: Bob's Cartoon Lagoon, and then there was a YouTube show

431
00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:45,000
Speaker 1: that had like it's not like it was incredibly well known,

432
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:50,119
Speaker 1: but they had some views called Cartoon Lagoon, and I

433
00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:53,680
Speaker 1: saw that person get kind of upset. So I changed

434
00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:59,080
Speaker 1: the name to Jay and Silent Bob's Substandard Cartoons because

435
00:22:59,080 --> 00:23:01,920
Speaker 1: we were the old thing was up. We had a fake,

436
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:09,199
Speaker 1: shacky puppet. So I respect that. I respect if you

437
00:23:09,240 --> 00:23:12,720
Speaker 1: didn't go like, well, fuck damn they're British wench. We're

438
00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:16,600
Speaker 1: American America first. America Wench. Oh god, no, Wench is

439
00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:17,280
Speaker 1: also pretty good.

440
00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:23,960
Speaker 2: American wench is not bad. All right, Well, you want

441
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:25,320
Speaker 2: to see what the cover maybe is.

442
00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:28,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, let me see if it matches. The title American wench.

443
00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:31,960
Speaker 1: American Wench means alphabetically your way up there right after.

444
00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:38,080
Speaker 2: Abba, and we're basically the same.

445
00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:42,560
Speaker 1: Kind of All right, now, let me remove that name

446
00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:43,800
Speaker 1: and put American wench.

447
00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:47,320
Speaker 2: I mean American wench, American winch. I just really fit.

448
00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:49,920
Speaker 1: Look it up real quick. Make sure nobody's nobody's done

449
00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:50,600
Speaker 1: American wench.

450
00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:54,000
Speaker 2: And if anybody takes it after listening to this, they.

451
00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:56,240
Speaker 1: Won't hear the show unless we want them to. We're

452
00:23:56,280 --> 00:23:59,160
Speaker 1: not live the same caller daddy.

453
00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:01,720
Speaker 2: Motherfucker, American wench.

454
00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:09,280
Speaker 1: American wand stay away from me, I'm not.

455
00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:14,720
Speaker 2: When you look up wench band, Yeah, the the other

456
00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:15,920
Speaker 2: band does come up?

457
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:17,280
Speaker 1: Is there an American wench band?

458
00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:18,840
Speaker 2: I'm not seeing American wench.

459
00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:24,240
Speaker 1: Welcome to your new name. That because that photo, that photo,

460
00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:25,520
Speaker 1: that image.

461
00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:29,280
Speaker 2: The EP cover, that's that is so American. Maybe that

462
00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:33,040
Speaker 2: that could be what it is called. Though the EP the.

463
00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:35,399
Speaker 1: Name of the EP, the EP, and so name it

464
00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:39,000
Speaker 1: the name you've got, but then just call it American lunch. Yeah,

465
00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:44,800
Speaker 1: because all your songs are about like some bitchy American wench. Right, yeah,

466
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:50,679
Speaker 1: like I'm upset, I'm upset.

467
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:54,520
Speaker 2: Sounds like that's bad.

468
00:24:56,440 --> 00:24:57,359
Speaker 1: Fucking said.

469
00:24:58,280 --> 00:24:59,439
Speaker 2: That is about all of us.

470
00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:00,439
Speaker 1: All I know.

471
00:25:00,520 --> 00:25:07,800
Speaker 2: I've heard them anyways. All right, so what are your categories?

472
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:08,480
Speaker 1: Here? They go?

473
00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:09,520
Speaker 2: Ready, I'm ready.

474
00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:12,920
Speaker 1: So we start the show with some opening chatter, which

475
00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:18,360
Speaker 1: we've just been doing. Then the first Department. I mean,

476
00:25:18,359 --> 00:25:19,920
Speaker 1: we'll come up with the name for the opening chatter

477
00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:24,360
Speaker 1: as well. Right now, it's just opening chatter, first Apartment, Harleywood.

478
00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:26,640
Speaker 2: Oh, and what is this?

479
00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:29,840
Speaker 1: It's I guess you.

480
00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:32,199
Speaker 2: Me talking about the demise of my career.

481
00:25:33,119 --> 00:25:36,440
Speaker 1: Well, I love about that, but I was just gonna say,

482
00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:41,159
Speaker 1: what you're up to? You're in Hollywood? But ship that

483
00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:42,240
Speaker 1: went dark fast?

484
00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:48,160
Speaker 2: People like that talk about that.

485
00:25:49,280 --> 00:25:55,000
Speaker 1: No, it's more like a hard what are you doing?

486
00:25:55,520 --> 00:26:00,600
Speaker 1: Like you're going to see hard eyes? Yes, do me

487
00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:04,280
Speaker 1: a favor. When you get there. There's gonna be some

488
00:26:04,320 --> 00:26:06,600
Speaker 1: Sony Exact or somebody there from the movie. Right. She's

489
00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:09,879
Speaker 1: in the movie. She is, She's the female lead that

490
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:13,120
Speaker 1: means like, there's definitely gonna be somebody of import there

491
00:26:13,119 --> 00:26:16,760
Speaker 1: in the audience because it's at Sony and Sony's releasing it. Correct,

492
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:20,920
Speaker 1: if you need a marketing exec tell them that I'm

493
00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:25,080
Speaker 1: prepared to put a quote on the poster for them.

494
00:26:25,119 --> 00:26:28,240
Speaker 1: And the quote is this follows, I have a heart

495
00:26:28,520 --> 00:26:30,320
Speaker 1: on for heart eyes.

496
00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:37,040
Speaker 2: Oh, Kevin Smith, you know what, I'm sure they're going

497
00:26:37,119 --> 00:26:38,320
Speaker 2: to take you up on that saying.

498
00:26:38,359 --> 00:26:41,200
Speaker 1: I'm saying it's fire man, So throw it out there.

499
00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:45,119
Speaker 2: It is Valentine's Day off two Wow.

500
00:26:45,359 --> 00:26:49,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, wow, I've been holding on to that.

501
00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:51,680
Speaker 2: You know what, I'm sure someone out there.

502
00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:59,280
Speaker 1: I mean by delivering messages for your father to Sony

503
00:26:59,359 --> 00:27:03,399
Speaker 1: executive who were like, who my dad? Kevin Smith? He

504
00:27:03,480 --> 00:27:05,520
Speaker 1: was here twice. He directed Goldberg's episodes.

505
00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:07,760
Speaker 2: He's the guy that I'm sure everybody knows about that

506
00:27:08,080 --> 00:27:11,360
Speaker 2: ordered large amounts of chicken just for himself.

507
00:27:11,800 --> 00:27:13,560
Speaker 1: The chickens sound fucking.

508
00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:15,160
Speaker 3: Died.

509
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:19,639
Speaker 2: He actually lived almost did.

510
00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:28,480
Speaker 1: Actually that's your fucking father, poor kid chicken salid guy.

511
00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:33,760
Speaker 1: All right, So like that you're going tonight, You're going

512
00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:38,320
Speaker 1: to see a thing hard eyes.

513
00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:39,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, I knew you'd remember.

514
00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:45,080
Speaker 1: Thank you. Then what what are you doing in life? Yeah? Like,

515
00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:45,960
Speaker 1: what are you doing tomorrow?

516
00:27:46,359 --> 00:27:50,840
Speaker 2: Tomorrow we'll be back here recording more. We will be recording.

517
00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:54,400
Speaker 1: Then what are you doing? And then so while they're

518
00:27:54,440 --> 00:27:57,240
Speaker 1: listening to this show, it will have already happened in

519
00:27:57,280 --> 00:28:01,360
Speaker 1: your world, but it hasn't happened yet. So that's your

520
00:28:01,359 --> 00:28:03,520
Speaker 1: Harleywood for this week. What are you doing this week?

521
00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:08,480
Speaker 1: Or what did you? What do you it happened? What

522
00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:11,320
Speaker 1: did you do last weekend?

523
00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:14,240
Speaker 2: Oh?

524
00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:26,800
Speaker 3: Spooky this week?

525
00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:37,119
Speaker 1: I haven't done it? But yes, what do you what?

526
00:28:37,119 --> 00:28:39,400
Speaker 1: What did you do last weekend? Hard? Well?

527
00:28:39,520 --> 00:28:43,760
Speaker 2: I went to something in the wave fest in Boston.

528
00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:48,640
Speaker 1: It's called something in the Way fast like something in

529
00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:48,960
Speaker 1: the Way.

530
00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:51,960
Speaker 2: That's something in the Way.

531
00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:57,600
Speaker 1: Oh that song that they song used in the Batman movie.

532
00:28:57,880 --> 00:28:59,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the name of that.

533
00:29:00,520 --> 00:29:05,040
Speaker 1: Yeah so wait there are two something So that's rather

534
00:29:05,120 --> 00:29:09,800
Speaker 1: ballsy to fucking include the lyrics something in the Way.

535
00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:13,960
Speaker 1: When didn't the Beatles do that Something in the Way?

536
00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:20,480
Speaker 1: Gamu and mean, I know.

537
00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:22,360
Speaker 2: Yeah is that called something in the Way?

538
00:29:25,880 --> 00:29:29,800
Speaker 1: Lose it now you know?

539
00:29:32,360 --> 00:29:41,240
Speaker 4: Bam? Like you just looked up you're asking me, Well, no,

540
00:29:43,120 --> 00:29:47,800
Speaker 4: I don't know, don't know.

541
00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:51,520
Speaker 1: Boom boom, boom boom boom.

542
00:29:51,680 --> 00:29:53,720
Speaker 2: It's something in the Way, right, it's called something.

543
00:29:54,280 --> 00:29:57,800
Speaker 1: It's just called something. And the Nirvana song is called

544
00:29:57,920 --> 00:30:01,880
Speaker 1: something in the Way or is it called something else?

545
00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:06,920
Speaker 1: You're called heart Shaped Box? What is that song? It's

546
00:30:06,920 --> 00:30:07,640
Speaker 1: something in the Way.

547
00:30:07,520 --> 00:30:10,160
Speaker 2: Something in the way, Yes, something.

548
00:30:12,360 --> 00:30:16,840
Speaker 1: That because they use it? Man, don't that is? That's

549
00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:22,400
Speaker 1: a song that has like something wet fish, the fish

550
00:30:22,520 --> 00:30:23,160
Speaker 1: doing good?

551
00:30:23,440 --> 00:30:23,720
Speaker 2: Fee?

552
00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:28,000
Speaker 1: Isn't it? How does it go?

553
00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:37,280
Speaker 2: I like your what is that one?

554
00:30:37,520 --> 00:30:37,760
Speaker 1: Wait?

555
00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:38,640
Speaker 2: Sing a little more?

556
00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:49,560
Speaker 1: We fish goose fish doing good? Something in the way

557
00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:52,240
Speaker 1: we eat wait?

558
00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:55,960
Speaker 2: Oh oh, yeah, that isn't this song?

559
00:30:56,120 --> 00:30:56,640
Speaker 1: What is it?

560
00:30:58,480 --> 00:31:00,800
Speaker 2: H It's okay to eat fish?

561
00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:07,640
Speaker 1: It's so cut fish fish don't got no fee?

562
00:31:08,440 --> 00:31:14,040
Speaker 2: Isn't that The lyrics so close Basically, it's okay to

563
00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:17,520
Speaker 2: eat fish because they don't have any feelings feelings?

564
00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:20,240
Speaker 1: What a weird lyric to include the song. I only

565
00:31:20,280 --> 00:31:24,040
Speaker 1: know that lyric because I only heard that lyric. Like,

566
00:31:24,080 --> 00:31:28,120
Speaker 1: did you ever see Jerry maguire? Yeah, At one point

567
00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:32,080
Speaker 1: the guy is playing cush. What's his name, Jerry O'Connell,

568
00:31:32,120 --> 00:31:34,440
Speaker 1: I think plays cush. This is cush football player that

569
00:31:34,480 --> 00:31:37,479
Speaker 1: they're trying to sign. Keeps signing and Jerry loses him,

570
00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:40,840
Speaker 1: the whole fucking loses everything. At one point, he's strumming

571
00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:47,160
Speaker 1: on a guitar and he's like, it's so cute, eat Fish,

572
00:31:48,080 --> 00:31:50,880
Speaker 1: And I thought it was just like a stereotype of

573
00:31:50,920 --> 00:31:53,080
Speaker 1: a dumb jock who thinks he's smart singing a song

574
00:31:53,160 --> 00:31:56,600
Speaker 1: or something like that, and then decades later, while I

575
00:31:56,680 --> 00:31:59,840
Speaker 1: was fucking watching that Batman trailer, I was like, fish,

576
00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:04,120
Speaker 1: not feelings. That's a fucking Cushlash song. He's like, I

577
00:32:04,200 --> 00:32:07,760
Speaker 1: got Cushlash, And then I did a mini deep dive

578
00:32:07,800 --> 00:32:11,720
Speaker 1: and realized he was singing Nirvana in that movie.

579
00:32:12,400 --> 00:32:16,680
Speaker 2: It took you a few years occupied you know.

580
00:32:16,680 --> 00:32:19,280
Speaker 1: I've been building an empire myself. Never mind Cameron Crew.

581
00:32:19,680 --> 00:32:23,040
Speaker 2: This is the perfect transition.

582
00:32:22,920 --> 00:32:26,560
Speaker 1: Into bars into bars. No, because we were doing you

583
00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:28,000
Speaker 1: still got to tell him what you did.

584
00:32:28,200 --> 00:32:30,720
Speaker 2: We we we stopped at the way fast.

585
00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:33,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, we can't do this because you didn't do it yet.

586
00:32:33,240 --> 00:32:38,160
Speaker 1: You're going to something in the way. It didn't happen yet,

587
00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:42,680
Speaker 1: it's happened in the future. I feel like that's what

588
00:32:42,720 --> 00:32:45,640
Speaker 1: I say to pull myself out of a fucking like trip.

589
00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:48,040
Speaker 1: This didn't happen yet. It's happening in the future. This

590
00:32:48,080 --> 00:32:49,920
Speaker 1: isn't happening yet. It's happening in the future.

591
00:32:50,560 --> 00:32:53,480
Speaker 2: You can find me like that, curled up in the bathroom.

592
00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:58,720
Speaker 1: A lot, as she's been saying for hours. That's happening

593
00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:01,320
Speaker 1: in the future. That's happened opening in the future. All Right,

594
00:33:01,360 --> 00:33:04,920
Speaker 1: you're going to the Something in the Way Fast, which

595
00:33:04,920 --> 00:33:08,400
Speaker 1: has nothing to do with Nirvana or the Beatles.

596
00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:11,400
Speaker 2: Is just named after Nirvana.

597
00:33:11,440 --> 00:33:13,800
Speaker 1: So yes, who is playing at this fest?

598
00:33:14,120 --> 00:33:17,080
Speaker 2: Man? I can pussy cannot wait.

599
00:33:17,240 --> 00:33:19,360
Speaker 1: This wasn't Celsius. That would have totally done a spit.

600
00:33:19,200 --> 00:33:27,040
Speaker 2: Taking and gouge away another band. I love another.

601
00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:27,840
Speaker 1: One more thing?

602
00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:30,280
Speaker 2: Oh, did you see the shirt?

603
00:33:30,720 --> 00:33:40,320
Speaker 1: If you're watching, If you're watching the show, let's do

604
00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:43,920
Speaker 1: a commercial for the show. Ready, all right, cool, Hey,

605
00:33:43,960 --> 00:33:46,600
Speaker 1: it's me Harley Quinn Smith, and I've got a new

606
00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:48,400
Speaker 1: shirt telling you into.

607
00:33:48,120 --> 00:33:54,280
Speaker 2: The Camera's Harley Quinn Smith.

608
00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:59,560
Speaker 1: I have a shoe. Give it. Give it a Kevin Smith.

609
00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:02,600
Speaker 2: Kind of like, okay, kids, we have a shirt.

610
00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:06,200
Speaker 1: Oh man, okay kids.

611
00:34:06,280 --> 00:34:09,640
Speaker 2: This is me Harley Quinn Smith in awe abasher for

612
00:34:09,840 --> 00:34:12,640
Speaker 2: you says I'm a tick lit mack.

613
00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:14,520
Speaker 1: It looks like this.

614
00:34:15,840 --> 00:34:17,640
Speaker 2: You can't even see it, they will.

615
00:34:18,120 --> 00:34:21,560
Speaker 1: I just stood up, so I'm making I'm shooting ship here,

616
00:34:21,640 --> 00:34:25,080
Speaker 1: I am fucking multitasking. I feel doing your Adobe show

617
00:34:25,120 --> 00:34:30,759
Speaker 1: and I'm shooting a commercial for your shirt. This right now,

618
00:34:30,760 --> 00:34:32,799
Speaker 1: it's your Adobe show. I gave you the floor to

619
00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:37,520
Speaker 1: sell a shirt and you're like, that's how you told

620
00:34:37,560 --> 00:34:43,040
Speaker 1: me to stay it just my impression of you. Take two, Okay,

621
00:34:43,880 --> 00:34:46,439
Speaker 1: the pertinent information is where they can get like where,

622
00:34:46,480 --> 00:34:50,080
Speaker 1: what's the address you know where you're sending people? No, yeah,

623
00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:52,680
Speaker 1: bedless stickles me dot com.

624
00:34:52,680 --> 00:35:01,400
Speaker 2: Oh oh yeah, okay, it's like hurting cats. I hate you.

625
00:35:01,440 --> 00:35:04,440
Speaker 2: All right, hey kids, it is me Arley Quinn Smith,

626
00:35:04,480 --> 00:35:08,080
Speaker 2: and we are selling shirts at beardless diglasme dot com.

627
00:35:08,280 --> 00:35:10,799
Speaker 2: Shirts say I'm a dick lit so you can show

628
00:35:10,840 --> 00:35:14,000
Speaker 2: off your beardless beardless dickleass me pride.

629
00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:19,000
Speaker 1: I'm leaving that in available at beardless diicklasme dot com

630
00:35:19,120 --> 00:35:23,440
Speaker 1: or at Harley Quinn's Instagram stories, which is Instagram.

631
00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:24,800
Speaker 2: At Harley Quinn Smith.

632
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:29,960
Speaker 1: All right, Take three, not bad?

633
00:35:30,480 --> 00:35:33,840
Speaker 2: Take three now, I think my impression of you is

634
00:35:33,920 --> 00:35:34,759
Speaker 2: kind of good.

635
00:35:35,120 --> 00:35:37,880
Speaker 1: Let's see it. I'm a concentrate you know what dropped

636
00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:41,080
Speaker 1: the mic out of your face a little bit. Yeah

637
00:35:41,080 --> 00:35:43,560
Speaker 1: there you go. Yeah, yeah, now they can see you

638
00:35:43,560 --> 00:35:44,960
Speaker 1: got a fucking chin in the mouth.

639
00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:47,440
Speaker 2: Hey kids, is me Givin Smith?

640
00:35:48,160 --> 00:35:52,800
Speaker 1: But make it Harley Quinn and acting.

641
00:35:54,040 --> 00:35:58,359
Speaker 2: Hey kids, is me Arley Quinn Smith? That's it? No,

642
00:35:58,440 --> 00:35:58,839
Speaker 2: that's it.

643
00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:02,600
Speaker 1: You gotta get them the information again. Yeah, I said take

644
00:36:02,680 --> 00:36:05,040
Speaker 1: fucking three. Now I take six. You gotta do the

645
00:36:05,040 --> 00:36:07,480
Speaker 1: whole thing. So, hey, kids, are the Quincemith and I.

646
00:36:07,440 --> 00:36:10,320
Speaker 2: Got a break exhausting being.

647
00:36:10,400 --> 00:36:15,000
Speaker 1: You tell me about it, So you give the give

648
00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:17,760
Speaker 1: me a good thirty second run of all the information

649
00:36:17,880 --> 00:36:20,880
Speaker 1: they need. I've already got the angle of me showing

650
00:36:20,880 --> 00:36:22,919
Speaker 1: off the shirt, so my work here is done.

651
00:36:23,040 --> 00:36:23,320
Speaker 2: Okay.

652
00:36:24,320 --> 00:36:26,600
Speaker 1: And I also did a button if we have to.

653
00:36:26,920 --> 00:36:29,000
Speaker 2: Know you're gonna use this on Instagram.

654
00:36:29,160 --> 00:36:32,160
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, I'm not.

655
00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:33,000
Speaker 2: Saying it like you.

656
00:36:33,160 --> 00:36:37,080
Speaker 1: I'm not saying all right then do you right into

657
00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:41,640
Speaker 1: the barrel though. That ain't gonna sell a fucking thing.

658
00:36:41,680 --> 00:36:45,280
Speaker 1: They're gonna eat you live. Oh my god, the public's

659
00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:46,960
Speaker 1: gonna eat your life. You're gonna wind up giving them

660
00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:50,760
Speaker 1: all away for free. They're gonna make you pay them

661
00:36:50,800 --> 00:36:52,680
Speaker 1: to take the shirt. You gotta come in with the

662
00:36:52,719 --> 00:37:02,960
Speaker 1: thick cell man like take you. Hey man, aren't you

663
00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:04,920
Speaker 1: tired of being naked? Well, why don't you wear a

664
00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:05,600
Speaker 1: T shirt?

665
00:37:06,480 --> 00:37:09,680
Speaker 3: There you go, I like that, There you go.

666
00:37:10,719 --> 00:37:13,200
Speaker 1: Here try this one. Hey man, you got tits you

667
00:37:13,239 --> 00:37:17,480
Speaker 1: want to keep covered by my T shirt? No, no,

668
00:37:18,440 --> 00:37:19,560
Speaker 1: it's approach.

669
00:37:19,840 --> 00:37:21,560
Speaker 2: I think I think we got it.

670
00:37:22,800 --> 00:37:26,800
Speaker 1: I don't think we got ship. Go ahead down the barrel.

671
00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:27,960
Speaker 2: Next category.

672
00:37:28,040 --> 00:37:33,839
Speaker 1: I'm trying to sell your shirt. Hello, Holy crap, high

673
00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:39,920
Speaker 1: I can't hear. You're not you. You're playing a character. Harley,

674
00:37:41,160 --> 00:37:43,200
Speaker 1: different Harley. This Harley's a boy.

675
00:37:43,560 --> 00:37:45,799
Speaker 2: Me existing as myself is impossible.

676
00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:48,479
Speaker 1: This hardly. You're playing Harley as a boy who runs

677
00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:51,359
Speaker 1: a T shirt company, and selling this shirt is all

678
00:37:51,400 --> 00:37:53,799
Speaker 1: the difference between him eating and not eating. He's got

679
00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:56,120
Speaker 1: to feed his fucking three kids and his wife just

680
00:37:56,200 --> 00:38:01,160
Speaker 1: left him. There's your backstory. Now, inhabit that character. Bring

681
00:38:01,160 --> 00:38:04,120
Speaker 1: it to life. Tell the lie, tell the truth.

682
00:38:04,280 --> 00:38:10,400
Speaker 2: And Hi. I'm Harley Quinn Smith from Beardless Dickless Me,

683
00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:13,919
Speaker 2: and I'm here to tell you that we have new

684
00:38:14,040 --> 00:38:19,920
Speaker 2: shirts for the first time on Beardless dicklessme dot com.

685
00:38:20,280 --> 00:38:26,400
Speaker 2: Look at that shirt. Look at it all right, I'm done.

686
00:38:27,320 --> 00:38:31,319
Speaker 2: I hate I at this. I literally hate those.

687
00:38:37,480 --> 00:38:41,399
Speaker 1: I'm a I'm a woman. I'm a woman entrepreneur. Can

688
00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:42,880
Speaker 1: you help me build a business?

689
00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:46,480
Speaker 2: How about you try this?

690
00:38:46,680 --> 00:38:52,880
Speaker 1: Go fuck yourself, just try.

691
00:38:52,480 --> 00:38:53,239
Speaker 2: I'll find a way.

692
00:38:54,719 --> 00:38:59,280
Speaker 1: What is uh? Where is the music fest?

693
00:38:59,760 --> 00:39:00,560
Speaker 2: It's Boston?

694
00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:03,000
Speaker 1: So who's going? You and my.

695
00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:03,800
Speaker 2: Best friend Olivia.

696
00:39:04,080 --> 00:39:06,000
Speaker 1: And this is not Olivia from Hard Eyes.

697
00:39:06,320 --> 00:39:08,640
Speaker 2: No that she is also one of my best friends.

698
00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:12,719
Speaker 1: But she's another Olivia, but she is. If they're both

699
00:39:12,760 --> 00:39:14,520
Speaker 1: in the same room, what do you do?

700
00:39:16,080 --> 00:39:17,080
Speaker 2: It's pretty because.

701
00:39:16,880 --> 00:39:19,200
Speaker 1: Olivia one and Olivia too? Or is it Olivia Holt

702
00:39:19,200 --> 00:39:20,120
Speaker 1: and Olivia Maybank?

703
00:39:20,320 --> 00:39:24,719
Speaker 2: Probably and Olivia and yeah, probably that probably Olivia and

704
00:39:24,719 --> 00:39:25,719
Speaker 2: Olivia Holt.

705
00:39:25,440 --> 00:39:29,160
Speaker 1: Because otherwise you're like Olivia and they both turn yes yes.

706
00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:33,319
Speaker 2: Or I call I call Olivia may Bank. We call

707
00:39:33,400 --> 00:39:39,239
Speaker 2: each other testicle testicle, yeah, beestical testicle?

708
00:39:40,040 --> 00:39:41,000
Speaker 1: Why not chesticle?

709
00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:44,799
Speaker 2: So then we call each other test test test. I

710
00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:45,839
Speaker 2: call her test all the.

711
00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:48,520
Speaker 1: Time, test test And what should call you?

712
00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:53,560
Speaker 3: She's high test all right?

713
00:39:56,040 --> 00:39:58,800
Speaker 1: So that's Harleywood.

714
00:39:57,800 --> 00:39:59,240
Speaker 2: I hate section.

715
00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:05,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, put up with And that's and that's my life

716
00:40:05,760 --> 00:40:10,640
Speaker 1: this week. Hooray for Harleywood. Go ahead, that's how you

717
00:40:10,680 --> 00:40:11,600
Speaker 1: get out of the segment.

718
00:40:11,880 --> 00:40:14,040
Speaker 2: Oh my God, I feel like I'm trapped.

719
00:40:14,880 --> 00:40:17,840
Speaker 1: You got it, And that's my life this week. Hooray

720
00:40:17,880 --> 00:40:18,640
Speaker 1: for Harleywood.

721
00:40:18,840 --> 00:40:21,960
Speaker 2: And that's my life this week. Hooray for Harley Wood.

722
00:40:22,120 --> 00:40:26,279
Speaker 1: All right, man, Harleywood's done so. And now we move

723
00:40:26,320 --> 00:40:31,200
Speaker 1: on to our next apartment, the Ours, the Austin Update.

724
00:40:32,640 --> 00:40:33,560
Speaker 1: What's going on in.

725
00:40:33,480 --> 00:40:36,280
Speaker 2: The world favorite category.

726
00:40:36,160 --> 00:40:37,720
Speaker 1: What's going on in Puff's world?

727
00:40:37,840 --> 00:40:40,799
Speaker 2: Let's see what's going on with Puff before we came.

728
00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:42,680
Speaker 2: Before I got here, I don't.

729
00:40:42,520 --> 00:40:44,359
Speaker 1: Want to hear anything about Puff coming all right.

730
00:40:46,680 --> 00:40:49,040
Speaker 2: I just can't win here. I just can't win.

731
00:40:49,120 --> 00:40:51,960
Speaker 1: Before you came over here, you and Puff went to

732
00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:54,839
Speaker 1: lunch with Nan and Pop. Yes, thank god, I'm here

733
00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:57,320
Speaker 1: to tell your stories for you. I'm the rest.

734
00:40:57,440 --> 00:41:00,560
Speaker 2: I don't even have the space nor time I'm to

735
00:41:00,680 --> 00:41:03,960
Speaker 2: say the words because you're talking all the time. Where

736
00:41:03,960 --> 00:41:06,759
Speaker 2: did you go eat after by Tellos?

737
00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:09,080
Speaker 1: Is it vy Tellos or Vitellos?

738
00:41:09,480 --> 00:41:11,359
Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't know.

739
00:41:11,560 --> 00:41:12,799
Speaker 1: Did they ever say when you come in?

740
00:41:13,719 --> 00:41:14,200
Speaker 2: I don't know.

741
00:41:14,360 --> 00:41:16,400
Speaker 1: It would never occur to me say bye Tellos?

742
00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:21,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, either way, that's where I was.

743
00:41:22,120 --> 00:41:22,920
Speaker 1: How was it?

744
00:41:22,920 --> 00:41:25,600
Speaker 2: It was very good at a vegan chicken parmesan.

745
00:41:25,440 --> 00:41:30,200
Speaker 1: You ate with Nan and Pop and uh, Austin in

746
00:41:30,280 --> 00:41:31,400
Speaker 1: the Austin Update.

747
00:41:31,680 --> 00:41:34,720
Speaker 2: Yes, this is Austin's update. We went to lunch?

748
00:41:34,840 --> 00:41:37,480
Speaker 1: Did he do my grandparents? Funny? Is he working on

749
00:41:37,520 --> 00:41:38,200
Speaker 1: a commercial?

750
00:41:38,719 --> 00:41:40,880
Speaker 2: He is in three commercials right now?

751
00:41:41,120 --> 00:41:44,480
Speaker 1: What that's the Austin Update. Never mind like we went

752
00:41:44,520 --> 00:41:47,799
Speaker 1: to lunch with it and Pop. That's Harleywood bullshit. The

753
00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:54,120
Speaker 1: Austin Update is what's going on in the fucking see

754
00:41:54,160 --> 00:42:01,240
Speaker 1: to the fucking edgy or sea breakneck world of Austin zazure.

755
00:42:03,239 --> 00:42:09,160
Speaker 1: Just watch trying to sell off? All right? So what

756
00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:11,200
Speaker 1: three commercials are you allowed to say?

757
00:42:11,440 --> 00:42:13,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's another one coming.

758
00:42:13,520 --> 00:42:18,120
Speaker 1: What there's a for to talk about? Okay, when you

759
00:42:18,160 --> 00:42:21,279
Speaker 1: say Austin commercial, do you mean the Captain America one?

760
00:42:21,800 --> 00:42:22,719
Speaker 2: Yes, that's one of them.

761
00:42:22,920 --> 00:42:26,759
Speaker 1: Austin is currently in a commercial for Tide that is

762
00:42:27,239 --> 00:42:31,600
Speaker 1: connected themed to Captain America to or Captain America, not

763
00:42:31,680 --> 00:42:32,800
Speaker 1: to Captain America.

764
00:42:34,520 --> 00:42:35,520
Speaker 2: What's it called again?

765
00:42:37,080 --> 00:42:40,600
Speaker 1: Used to be fucking first Brave New World. Oh yeah,

766
00:42:40,800 --> 00:42:43,879
Speaker 1: it was called something else New World or New World

767
00:42:44,040 --> 00:42:47,399
Speaker 1: Order or something like that. Now it's called Brave New World,

768
00:42:47,400 --> 00:42:54,560
Speaker 1: Captain America, Brave Captain America versus Red Hulk all right, wuckie,

769
00:42:55,280 --> 00:42:58,359
Speaker 1: enough pitching. So he's in that, which is a cute

770
00:42:58,360 --> 00:43:01,879
Speaker 1: commercial where they show like scenes in the movie where

771
00:43:01,920 --> 00:43:05,560
Speaker 1: it like fucking Red Hulk throws a bus at Captain

772
00:43:05,600 --> 00:43:09,000
Speaker 1: America and Captain America's wings split the bus and then

773
00:43:09,080 --> 00:43:13,600
Speaker 1: like that bus rolls into the shot later on, like

774
00:43:13,640 --> 00:43:17,720
Speaker 1: where Austin and other people are, and Austin's like covered

775
00:43:17,760 --> 00:43:22,480
Speaker 1: in ship from like some explosion or whatever, and he's like, hi,

776
00:43:22,719 --> 00:43:25,200
Speaker 1: he's real good in the spot, and the idea is like,

777
00:43:25,200 --> 00:43:27,240
Speaker 1: what do you do for this? And like, oh, Tiede,

778
00:43:27,520 --> 00:43:29,560
Speaker 1: you know, if you're gonna live in this world Tide,

779
00:43:29,680 --> 00:43:31,319
Speaker 1: I'll get your best buddy and shit. And then the

780
00:43:31,320 --> 00:43:37,280
Speaker 1: bus rolls by the button, very cute spot, and Austin

781
00:43:37,360 --> 00:43:39,200
Speaker 1: finally making some of that Marvel money.

782
00:43:39,280 --> 00:43:41,160
Speaker 2: He's well hoping.

783
00:43:40,920 --> 00:43:43,280
Speaker 1: They spin his character off into his own fucking Disney

784
00:43:43,320 --> 00:43:44,000
Speaker 1: Plus series.

785
00:43:44,120 --> 00:43:47,040
Speaker 2: We can only hope tied guy.

786
00:43:47,560 --> 00:43:50,000
Speaker 1: All right, So that's one commercial. What are the other ones?

787
00:43:50,440 --> 00:43:54,840
Speaker 2: Then there's CarMax a CarMax, Yes, he's in a Carmack spot,

788
00:43:55,520 --> 00:43:57,720
Speaker 2: and then he's in a Charles Schwab spot.

789
00:43:58,160 --> 00:44:02,600
Speaker 1: Schwab spot. M hm. Those exist, right, you can watch

790
00:44:02,600 --> 00:44:03,240
Speaker 1: those now.

791
00:44:03,400 --> 00:44:06,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, those exist, and then there's another one coming soon,

792
00:44:06,960 --> 00:44:09,080
Speaker 2: which he's you're not allowed to say, but I may

793
00:44:09,160 --> 00:44:09,680
Speaker 2: not say.

794
00:44:10,239 --> 00:44:12,680
Speaker 1: High profile is internet only spot or television.

795
00:44:12,920 --> 00:44:17,360
Speaker 2: It is television. That's what money is, television and internet.

796
00:44:17,480 --> 00:44:20,160
Speaker 1: Actually, you have my permission to marry this rich young

797
00:44:20,239 --> 00:44:24,240
Speaker 1: man with all his commercial well, let's not be crazy.

798
00:44:25,280 --> 00:44:26,799
Speaker 1: He better put a ring on it. With all that

799
00:44:26,800 --> 00:44:31,879
Speaker 1: commercial money. Boy, that's how does he feel about commercial work?

800
00:44:33,000 --> 00:44:35,080
Speaker 1: I mean fucking rocks.

801
00:44:35,480 --> 00:44:37,919
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's so good at he's so good at them.

802
00:44:38,120 --> 00:44:40,960
Speaker 1: He's just he does he does like a real like

803
00:44:41,080 --> 00:44:41,719
Speaker 1: fucking like.

804
00:44:41,600 --> 00:44:44,960
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, Like he's got a cute little face.

805
00:44:45,680 --> 00:44:47,200
Speaker 1: Boy next door is kind of quality.

806
00:44:48,040 --> 00:44:51,680
Speaker 2: Those dimples everybody wants them to sell their sell their products.

807
00:44:51,800 --> 00:44:56,600
Speaker 1: He does have dimples, like natural dimples. What if they

808
00:44:56,600 --> 00:44:59,239
Speaker 1: were like, oh my god, with them dimples, you look

809
00:44:59,320 --> 00:45:01,839
Speaker 1: like a Campbell's kid, because campbell Soup kids they used

810
00:45:01,840 --> 00:45:04,960
Speaker 1: to have, like that was their fucking corporate mascots, these

811
00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:07,279
Speaker 1: little kids and ship. They got rid of that ship,

812
00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:10,320
Speaker 1: right because just like McDonald's got rid of Ronald McDonald.

813
00:45:10,360 --> 00:45:13,280
Speaker 1: You can't fucking find ron McDonald, man.

814
00:45:13,200 --> 00:45:14,360
Speaker 2: He's gone, you can't.

815
00:45:14,520 --> 00:45:19,440
Speaker 1: That's a good point, Like Grimas, Ron McDonald, Mary mccheese, Hamburglar.

816
00:45:19,560 --> 00:45:22,720
Speaker 1: All these motherfuckers are gone. You walking Anny McDonald's today,

817
00:45:23,120 --> 00:45:25,959
Speaker 1: they're like, huh oh no, they're all like Peter after

818
00:45:26,040 --> 00:45:28,600
Speaker 1: Christ got arrested and shit like that. They're like Jesus,

819
00:45:28,680 --> 00:45:31,480
Speaker 1: who I've never met the guy. Then you hear cock crow.

820
00:45:31,800 --> 00:45:34,239
Speaker 1: They're just gone, man McDonald's like, I don't know nothing

821
00:45:34,239 --> 00:45:35,120
Speaker 1: about No Ronald.

822
00:45:35,520 --> 00:45:37,839
Speaker 2: Ronald McDonald was a scary guy.

823
00:45:38,280 --> 00:45:40,719
Speaker 1: No, he wasn't. He sold this food for years, not

824
00:45:40,880 --> 00:45:44,560
Speaker 1: you general. I meant good times. You would do this

825
00:45:44,719 --> 00:45:45,800
Speaker 1: and an m would appear.

826
00:45:46,800 --> 00:45:49,960
Speaker 2: It's so true, but he was. He was kind of scary.

827
00:45:50,120 --> 00:45:53,480
Speaker 1: No way, no way, All those characters, they were like

828
00:45:53,560 --> 00:45:55,839
Speaker 1: brothers and sisters. Growing up. I spent so much time

829
00:45:55,880 --> 00:45:58,560
Speaker 1: watching television, and they were there for me between each

830
00:45:58,560 --> 00:46:01,680
Speaker 1: fucking you know, during each ad, to stop me from

831
00:46:01,680 --> 00:46:04,080
Speaker 1: getting bored and make me hungry for French fries and

832
00:46:04,120 --> 00:46:04,560
Speaker 1: a burger.

833
00:46:04,960 --> 00:46:08,960
Speaker 2: My brother Ronald, my sister Grimace.

834
00:46:09,680 --> 00:46:15,279
Speaker 1: My uncle the burger, and my bitch cousin Wenday. Oh

835
00:46:15,280 --> 00:46:22,000
Speaker 1: my god, my friends are getting drunk. He ind tonight,

836
00:46:22,480 --> 00:46:29,279
Speaker 1: fucking Wenday, Wendy. That's imagine, all right. So let's go

837
00:46:29,320 --> 00:46:31,919
Speaker 1: back to the Campbell soup. So they decide to bring

838
00:46:31,960 --> 00:46:34,440
Speaker 1: the Campbell Soup kids out of moth balls. They're like,

839
00:46:34,480 --> 00:46:36,960
Speaker 1: hey man, this sucking old campaign. Let's let's do the

840
00:46:37,040 --> 00:46:39,720
Speaker 1: Campbell Soup kids again. That'd be fun. And they want

841
00:46:39,760 --> 00:46:43,879
Speaker 1: Austin to be the Campbell Soup kid. M living embodiments

842
00:46:43,920 --> 00:46:47,480
Speaker 1: of it m hm. So he becomes a living cartoon.

843
00:46:49,120 --> 00:46:54,359
Speaker 1: But he's gonna make that flow from progressive money and

844
00:46:54,480 --> 00:46:57,560
Speaker 1: they're gonna be that many commercials. He he will be

845
00:46:57,680 --> 00:47:01,400
Speaker 1: forever identified as the Campbell Soup kid, even even I

846
00:47:01,400 --> 00:47:07,480
Speaker 1: mean Austin, howel's Austin like forty two? How old is Austin?

847
00:47:09,600 --> 00:47:10,440
Speaker 2: He's twenty nine?

848
00:47:10,480 --> 00:47:13,560
Speaker 1: Okay, so you know, maybe he's like, I don't want

849
00:47:13,560 --> 00:47:16,200
Speaker 1: to play a kid forever, but fucking the money's good.

850
00:47:16,880 --> 00:47:17,960
Speaker 2: Oh he's playing a.

851
00:47:17,960 --> 00:47:20,719
Speaker 1: Kid, Yeah, a camp the Campbell Soup kid.

852
00:47:20,880 --> 00:47:21,400
Speaker 2: I'm sorry.

853
00:47:22,040 --> 00:47:26,120
Speaker 1: Which in advertising this is like playing Hamlet. I mean,

854
00:47:28,880 --> 00:47:34,160
Speaker 1: it's like playing Rosenkrantz in Hamlet. This ain't like playing media.

855
00:47:34,200 --> 00:47:37,520
Speaker 1: Maybe like playing Tyler Perry's media.

856
00:47:38,320 --> 00:47:39,960
Speaker 2: I can't believe that often.

857
00:47:42,400 --> 00:47:44,399
Speaker 1: He's going to be a Campbell suit kid. Number one,

858
00:47:45,200 --> 00:47:48,560
Speaker 1: does Austin go for this. Yeah he would no, but

859
00:47:48,640 --> 00:47:50,920
Speaker 1: I mean you're committed. They make him sign up for

860
00:47:51,000 --> 00:47:53,319
Speaker 1: like five years in advance, like your can't. You can't

861
00:47:53,320 --> 00:47:56,319
Speaker 1: you're exclusive, can't do feature work or anything like that.

862
00:47:56,360 --> 00:47:58,400
Speaker 1: You're just camera suit kit. Now you're gonna make fucking

863
00:47:58,440 --> 00:48:03,640
Speaker 1: crazy money, crazy good money, not not like insane money.

864
00:48:03,640 --> 00:48:07,919
Speaker 1: I'm not like this isn't some like Harlely Thetical. That's

865
00:48:07,960 --> 00:48:11,080
Speaker 1: the new department we're in right now. So he segued

866
00:48:11,120 --> 00:48:16,120
Speaker 1: from fucking that was a transition right into the Harleytical. Okay,

867
00:48:17,600 --> 00:48:20,080
Speaker 1: he's got to be the Camel Soup Kid for five years,

868
00:48:20,160 --> 00:48:22,799
Speaker 1: and he's very the character is very infantilized. He wears

869
00:48:22,800 --> 00:48:26,240
Speaker 1: a diaper in the ad. Oh god, he's got souper,

870
00:48:27,880 --> 00:48:31,120
Speaker 1: and his catchphrase is just like yum yum good. But

871
00:48:31,160 --> 00:48:33,600
Speaker 1: he's got to say it like a baby Campbell soupy

872
00:48:33,719 --> 00:48:36,400
Speaker 1: yum yum good. So everyone who sees him in public

873
00:48:36,520 --> 00:48:40,640
Speaker 1: like camel soup yum yum good. Stuff like that.

874
00:48:42,680 --> 00:48:45,359
Speaker 2: But he's not making like wait, he's not playing a kid.

875
00:48:45,440 --> 00:48:49,880
Speaker 2: He's playing a baby.

876
00:48:51,680 --> 00:48:54,960
Speaker 1: Soup kids were like babies who could walk and talk,

877
00:48:55,480 --> 00:48:59,760
Speaker 1: you know, kind of like the rug Rats. He's playing

878
00:48:59,760 --> 00:49:03,440
Speaker 1: the walk and talk. So he's playing yeah a baby,

879
00:49:03,480 --> 00:49:05,799
Speaker 1: he wears a diaper, he's bare chest and ship. But

880
00:49:05,920 --> 00:49:07,560
Speaker 1: it's the dimples everyone cares.

881
00:49:07,320 --> 00:49:08,160
Speaker 2: About, of course.

882
00:49:08,239 --> 00:49:11,000
Speaker 1: And he's got like you know usually because it's Campbell soup.

883
00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:13,959
Speaker 1: He's got like tomato soup on him and ship I hate,

884
00:49:14,239 --> 00:49:20,479
Speaker 1: and he wears it upside down. Super Bowl so, oh

885
00:49:20,520 --> 00:49:23,120
Speaker 1: my god. But he's gonna make great money.

886
00:49:23,160 --> 00:49:26,560
Speaker 2: Very much and is it worth his dignity?

887
00:49:26,680 --> 00:49:31,520
Speaker 1: Or he's gonna make five times whatever he made his

888
00:49:31,680 --> 00:49:34,640
Speaker 1: highest thus far on a commercial.

889
00:49:34,840 --> 00:49:38,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't think he would take you up on this?

890
00:49:38,200 --> 00:49:40,080
Speaker 1: Are you serious? He'd be the Campbell soup kid. It's

891
00:49:40,080 --> 00:49:41,160
Speaker 1: consistent work.

892
00:49:41,120 --> 00:49:43,480
Speaker 2: I understand it.

893
00:49:45,239 --> 00:49:47,799
Speaker 1: I think six spots a year.

894
00:49:48,480 --> 00:49:51,960
Speaker 2: I think he would be committing, committed to finding let

895
00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:53,600
Speaker 2: me tell you something right now, something else.

896
00:49:54,120 --> 00:49:56,120
Speaker 1: I would sit him the fuck down. I'd be like,

897
00:49:56,239 --> 00:49:59,040
Speaker 1: if you want to marry my fucking daughter, you signed

898
00:49:59,040 --> 00:50:03,240
Speaker 1: that contract paper on. Yeah, you wear that typer you are. Look,

899
00:50:03,640 --> 00:50:06,239
Speaker 1: that's what we call you behind your back already the

900
00:50:06,320 --> 00:50:10,160
Speaker 1: Campbell soup baby baby yum yum, a baby fucking yum yum.

901
00:50:10,239 --> 00:50:14,680
Speaker 1: So get to work. Look, I let this fucking go

902
00:50:14,840 --> 00:50:18,799
Speaker 1: for a long time. I said, she loves him. Whatever. Fuck,

903
00:50:19,600 --> 00:50:21,839
Speaker 1: but now it's time to grow up.

904
00:50:22,239 --> 00:50:24,360
Speaker 2: It's time to time to get down.

905
00:50:24,239 --> 00:50:26,640
Speaker 1: To brass tacks man, it's time to fucking get in

906
00:50:26,719 --> 00:50:27,120
Speaker 1: the soup.

907
00:50:27,960 --> 00:50:31,919
Speaker 2: Literally quite literally, put the bowl on your head.

908
00:50:32,360 --> 00:50:34,000
Speaker 1: Put that fucking ball in your head if you want

909
00:50:34,000 --> 00:50:34,840
Speaker 1: to marry my daughter.

910
00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:38,920
Speaker 2: M Yeah, it's a good opportunity.

911
00:50:39,400 --> 00:50:42,319
Speaker 1: Amount what he got paid the highest commercial that wouldn't.

912
00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:45,279
Speaker 2: Do it for him five times, I think, so not

913
00:50:45,320 --> 00:50:45,719
Speaker 2: to wear it.

914
00:50:46,280 --> 00:50:48,200
Speaker 1: Tell me what he made so that I could fucking

915
00:50:48,280 --> 00:50:50,719
Speaker 1: do the math in my head and we'll write it

916
00:50:50,760 --> 00:50:51,880
Speaker 1: on your phone. You could just show me.

917
00:50:51,920 --> 00:50:55,840
Speaker 2: I don't know the fucking number, but the number diaper

918
00:50:56,400 --> 00:50:58,840
Speaker 2: tell you something in being baby yum yums.

919
00:50:59,120 --> 00:51:01,279
Speaker 1: Well, but I mean, you know whatever he got paid

920
00:51:01,280 --> 00:51:03,359
Speaker 1: the most to do a spot in real life.

921
00:51:04,080 --> 00:51:05,760
Speaker 2: I don't know the exact number.

922
00:51:05,880 --> 00:51:07,080
Speaker 1: No, he keeps that from you.

923
00:51:07,680 --> 00:51:11,440
Speaker 2: Well, it's also different, it's not it's not like at night.

924
00:51:11,280 --> 00:51:14,680
Speaker 1: You're trying to like sleeping a new listen, because he

925
00:51:14,760 --> 00:51:17,040
Speaker 1: talks to his sleep, and that's how you find out information.

926
00:51:18,239 --> 00:51:22,360
Speaker 1: Paint twenty grand be in that spot and you're like this,

927
00:51:22,920 --> 00:51:25,920
Speaker 1: I got the information sleeping.

928
00:51:27,760 --> 00:51:30,400
Speaker 2: You make money, you don't really make that much money

929
00:51:30,880 --> 00:51:31,759
Speaker 2: when you film it.

930
00:51:32,120 --> 00:51:34,600
Speaker 1: Well, I'm saying they're paying up front and also he's

931
00:51:34,600 --> 00:51:37,280
Speaker 1: going to make residuals and they're offering five hundred thousand

932
00:51:37,280 --> 00:51:38,239
Speaker 1: dollars a spot.

933
00:51:38,680 --> 00:51:43,239
Speaker 2: Five hundred thousand dollars a spot. Yeah, so five six

934
00:51:43,239 --> 00:51:44,120
Speaker 2: spots a year or five?

935
00:51:45,360 --> 00:51:45,960
Speaker 3: Okay?

936
00:51:46,040 --> 00:51:48,640
Speaker 2: So three million dollars a year.

937
00:51:48,920 --> 00:51:53,799
Speaker 1: Yes, bro, he's the flow from Progressive. Let me she's

938
00:51:53,880 --> 00:51:54,520
Speaker 1: going down.

939
00:51:54,800 --> 00:51:55,239
Speaker 2: Let me talk.

940
00:51:55,360 --> 00:51:59,480
Speaker 1: She's making hawk to of money flow from Progressive. She's

941
00:51:59,480 --> 00:52:00,000
Speaker 1: doing it.

942
00:52:01,280 --> 00:52:02,760
Speaker 2: Hey, so did talk to him?

943
00:52:03,200 --> 00:52:07,919
Speaker 1: Hey? Hey, no, we don't know that. So this little

944
00:52:07,920 --> 00:52:10,400
Speaker 1: bug is the little bugs back three. You'll be like,

945
00:52:12,239 --> 00:52:14,120
Speaker 1: so three million dollars a year to be the Campbell

946
00:52:14,120 --> 00:52:16,960
Speaker 1: soup kid, I'll ask him, No, this is about you.

947
00:52:17,080 --> 00:52:20,760
Speaker 1: Do you fuck him? Oh my god, no, not fucking,

948
00:52:20,840 --> 00:52:22,680
Speaker 1: but do you I mean guess kind of do you

949
00:52:22,680 --> 00:52:25,600
Speaker 1: fuck him? Are you okay with that? Or If he's like, look,

950
00:52:25,600 --> 00:52:27,359
Speaker 1: I gotta be the Campbell Sooop kid for that kind

951
00:52:27,360 --> 00:52:29,520
Speaker 1: of money, and you're like, I want you to pay

952
00:52:29,600 --> 00:52:34,040
Speaker 1: John pract here, I'd probably would you be ashamed of

953
00:52:34,120 --> 00:52:35,239
Speaker 1: him as the Campbell soup kid?

954
00:52:35,880 --> 00:52:37,160
Speaker 2: I'd be a little embarrassed.

955
00:52:37,200 --> 00:52:38,080
Speaker 1: Are you serious?

956
00:52:38,400 --> 00:52:42,319
Speaker 2: If my grown ass boyfriend was on TV wearing a

957
00:52:42,360 --> 00:52:44,960
Speaker 2: diaper with a bowl on his head, with soup on

958
00:52:45,040 --> 00:52:45,840
Speaker 2: his chest.

959
00:52:45,800 --> 00:52:48,160
Speaker 1: Making millions. That's the part you're leaving out.

960
00:52:48,280 --> 00:52:51,640
Speaker 2: If my twenty nine year old boyfriend was playing an

961
00:52:51,640 --> 00:52:54,719
Speaker 2: infant onto I.

962
00:52:54,680 --> 00:52:58,600
Speaker 1: Mean, fucking Jim Carrey made a vast fortune doing like

963
00:52:58,640 --> 00:53:02,879
Speaker 1: making his butt talk. You have a point, yeah, don't

964
00:53:02,880 --> 00:53:06,200
Speaker 1: be Look, take a page out of your hater's book.

965
00:53:06,480 --> 00:53:07,520
Speaker 1: Don't be so judgy.

966
00:53:08,440 --> 00:53:08,839
Speaker 2: You're right.

967
00:53:11,760 --> 00:53:13,680
Speaker 1: Let me tell you something right now? What never mind?

968
00:53:14,160 --> 00:53:17,239
Speaker 1: Like with that kind of money, you can fucking chase

969
00:53:17,239 --> 00:53:20,120
Speaker 1: your dreams independantly, Like, do whatever you want. That's fuck

970
00:53:20,160 --> 00:53:22,600
Speaker 1: you money, Campbell's fuck you.

971
00:53:22,719 --> 00:53:25,360
Speaker 2: But you signed this. You signed something saying you can't

972
00:53:25,400 --> 00:53:26,200
Speaker 2: do anything else.

973
00:53:26,840 --> 00:53:29,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, he can't be in movies and ship like, but

974
00:53:29,400 --> 00:53:32,080
Speaker 1: you can make independent films your finances.

975
00:53:32,080 --> 00:53:33,520
Speaker 2: Oh well, you didn't say that.

976
00:53:33,640 --> 00:53:36,520
Speaker 1: Well how about you said he's calling down that Campbell's

977
00:53:36,520 --> 00:53:39,640
Speaker 1: money and he invests in your fucking film? How about that?

978
00:53:39,760 --> 00:53:40,080
Speaker 1: All right?

979
00:53:40,160 --> 00:53:41,360
Speaker 2: Well fucking great.

980
00:53:43,200 --> 00:53:47,000
Speaker 1: It's hardlythedical. All right, So wait, are you into this

981
00:53:47,120 --> 00:53:52,399
Speaker 1: or not? Never mind him? Do you there? They come

982
00:53:52,440 --> 00:53:55,640
Speaker 1: to you and no, like we want you. He's already

983
00:53:55,680 --> 00:53:58,920
Speaker 1: said yes, I said. After a year's success, They're like,

984
00:53:58,960 --> 00:53:59,839
Speaker 1: we got to add a girl.

985
00:53:59,880 --> 00:54:04,240
Speaker 2: But I say no, it's a huge it's a huge

986
00:54:04,239 --> 00:54:04,680
Speaker 2: note for me.

987
00:54:04,760 --> 00:54:07,320
Speaker 1: Three million dollars a year. It's a no, three million

988
00:54:07,400 --> 00:54:08,240
Speaker 1: dollars a year.

989
00:54:08,120 --> 00:54:10,840
Speaker 2: To wear a diaper and be an infant.

990
00:54:10,719 --> 00:54:13,239
Speaker 1: For six fucking TV spots, Yes.

991
00:54:13,719 --> 00:54:16,800
Speaker 2: Six spots that play so many times a day.

992
00:54:16,920 --> 00:54:19,879
Speaker 1: So much so when people see you they're like, oh, yum, yum,

993
00:54:20,000 --> 00:54:23,440
Speaker 1: yum or whatever it is. No, no, really, no, let

994
00:54:23,480 --> 00:54:24,719
Speaker 1: me tell you send him my way.

995
00:54:25,280 --> 00:54:26,959
Speaker 2: I happily fucking will.

996
00:54:27,600 --> 00:54:29,439
Speaker 1: I'm taking that kind of money to be like, yum,

997
00:54:29,600 --> 00:54:32,480
Speaker 1: I'm good. I'll fucking suck my own tip for that

998
00:54:32,560 --> 00:54:33,800
Speaker 1: kind of money on TV.

999
00:54:37,120 --> 00:54:38,400
Speaker 2: I'm glad to know him.

1000
00:54:38,719 --> 00:54:42,359
Speaker 1: Who fucking like raised you with dignity? Where that come from?

1001
00:54:42,760 --> 00:54:45,439
Speaker 2: Not you telling you fucking this guy?

1002
00:54:45,880 --> 00:54:49,439
Speaker 1: Truly? God damn it. All right, Well there's your Now

1003
00:54:49,440 --> 00:54:53,040
Speaker 1: we're on to the next apartment, bars, bars, What are

1004
00:54:53,080 --> 00:54:53,600
Speaker 1: you listening to?

1005
00:54:55,120 --> 00:55:00,680
Speaker 2: I let me see, let me looka.

1006
00:54:59,840 --> 00:55:01,719
Speaker 1: Really it came to life now. Could have used that

1007
00:55:01,760 --> 00:55:03,320
Speaker 1: back on the whole Campbell soup thing.

1008
00:55:03,239 --> 00:55:07,960
Speaker 2: I love talking about. Fair enough, Well, of course I've

1009
00:55:07,960 --> 00:55:09,640
Speaker 2: been listening to dough Chi's album.

1010
00:55:09,960 --> 00:55:11,759
Speaker 1: How about your playing? Can we get a little taste

1011
00:55:11,760 --> 00:55:12,360
Speaker 1: of your music?

1012
00:55:13,640 --> 00:55:13,799
Speaker 2: No?

1013
00:55:14,239 --> 00:55:16,000
Speaker 3: Why because it's coming soon?

1014
00:55:16,120 --> 00:55:18,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, but just a taste? No, Like, we can't hear

1015
00:55:18,920 --> 00:55:22,759
Speaker 1: the opening bars of a thing. That's how you wet

1016
00:55:22,760 --> 00:55:27,320
Speaker 1: the audience's appetite. Wait, you think fucking like it's out

1017
00:55:28,560 --> 00:55:32,080
Speaker 1: and spoil sales. That's how you get people. Maybe get

1018
00:55:32,280 --> 00:55:35,800
Speaker 1: Look who else is gonna be buying the music first?

1019
00:55:35,840 --> 00:55:38,480
Speaker 1: Except that people listen to the show. So I say,

1020
00:55:38,680 --> 00:55:39,680
Speaker 1: I say, a little taste.

1021
00:55:40,800 --> 00:55:43,640
Speaker 2: You know, I can literally be three today?

1022
00:55:44,200 --> 00:55:44,759
Speaker 1: Is that right?

1023
00:55:45,000 --> 00:55:45,320
Speaker 2: Yes?

1024
00:55:46,200 --> 00:55:53,440
Speaker 1: I think, I think, I think? What you it's okay

1025
00:55:53,760 --> 00:56:02,040
Speaker 1: to eat fish fishing up bucket. Oh that's a good

1026
00:56:02,040 --> 00:56:02,799
Speaker 1: taste right there?

1027
00:56:03,080 --> 00:56:04,799
Speaker 2: There you go, there it is all right?

1028
00:56:04,960 --> 00:56:08,080
Speaker 1: Was that so fucking hard? You know you're acting like

1029
00:56:08,160 --> 00:56:10,359
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, show, little titty, we got to sell

1030
00:56:10,400 --> 00:56:12,880
Speaker 1: the show. I'm like, just playing a few bars of

1031
00:56:12,920 --> 00:56:19,080
Speaker 1: your song and very appropriate because the department was called bars.

1032
00:56:19,120 --> 00:56:21,600
Speaker 1: When can they hear this music? What is going on

1033
00:56:21,719 --> 00:56:22,360
Speaker 1: with the music?

1034
00:56:22,600 --> 00:56:25,680
Speaker 2: Our first song is going to come out on Valentine's Day?

1035
00:56:25,840 --> 00:56:26,319
Speaker 1: Is that right?

1036
00:56:26,520 --> 00:56:26,719
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1037
00:56:26,840 --> 00:56:30,000
Speaker 1: So wait this is I gotta look at the calendar

1038
00:56:30,040 --> 00:56:31,920
Speaker 1: to see where we are in time?

1039
00:56:32,840 --> 00:56:34,600
Speaker 2: Today is January twenty nine.

1040
00:56:35,120 --> 00:56:36,319
Speaker 1: Remember they're listening.

1041
00:56:36,000 --> 00:56:36,480
Speaker 2: In the future.

1042
00:56:36,520 --> 00:56:39,479
Speaker 1: Oh of course, so Thursday to listening to the show

1043
00:56:39,480 --> 00:56:41,359
Speaker 1: we already just put up, so they would this would

1044
00:56:41,360 --> 00:56:43,759
Speaker 1: be February sixth, So when does it come out?

1045
00:56:44,000 --> 00:56:44,480
Speaker 2: February?

1046
00:56:45,440 --> 00:56:48,080
Speaker 1: So in a week, in a week, your your record's

1047
00:56:48,080 --> 00:56:49,600
Speaker 1: going to drop? Is it record or album? What do

1048
00:56:49,680 --> 00:56:50,040
Speaker 1: you call it?

1049
00:56:50,640 --> 00:56:51,000
Speaker 2: An EP?

1050
00:56:51,280 --> 00:56:51,440
Speaker 1: Well?

1051
00:56:51,480 --> 00:56:53,960
Speaker 2: No, our first single is going to come out a single?

1052
00:56:54,040 --> 00:56:56,640
Speaker 2: Is a single? Yes? Off of the EP was.

1053
00:56:56,640 --> 00:56:58,239
Speaker 1: A song called you know what I'm saying?

1054
00:56:58,280 --> 00:57:00,640
Speaker 2: Yet it's called Star Is it you?

1055
00:57:01,120 --> 00:57:04,520
Speaker 1: We're finally getting some scoops around here. Star that's the

1056
00:57:04,560 --> 00:57:10,000
Speaker 1: name of the song. Star drops February fourteenth, Kids, Valentine's Day.

1057
00:57:10,000 --> 00:57:13,000
Speaker 1: You're gonna fall in love with this brand new music

1058
00:57:13,040 --> 00:57:16,800
Speaker 1: from the band American Winch. That's the name of the album.

1059
00:57:17,760 --> 00:57:20,760
Speaker 2: Maybe after today it maybe you can go.

1060
00:57:20,800 --> 00:57:22,720
Speaker 1: Back to your boys and be like, because it isn't

1061
00:57:22,800 --> 00:57:23,680
Speaker 1: like two boys.

1062
00:57:23,400 --> 00:57:23,800
Speaker 3: In the band?

1063
00:57:24,840 --> 00:57:25,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, like.

1064
00:57:27,600 --> 00:57:30,960
Speaker 1: What about us? What about them? Like we're not wenches?

1065
00:57:32,960 --> 00:57:39,360
Speaker 2: Is more like Wench doesn't have to be a woman.

1066
00:57:40,120 --> 00:57:42,360
Speaker 2: Right in my eyes, a Winch.

1067
00:57:42,240 --> 00:57:44,600
Speaker 1: O your eyes in my definition.

1068
00:57:44,360 --> 00:57:47,080
Speaker 2: My eyes the way I was viewing when I knew.

1069
00:57:46,960 --> 00:57:53,760
Speaker 1: With the English language kids, butch.

1070
00:57:51,120 --> 00:57:53,480
Speaker 2: Meant something else to me, still means and.

1071
00:57:53,560 --> 00:57:56,120
Speaker 1: A look fair enough man, a world war. Bitch has

1072
00:57:56,120 --> 00:57:57,640
Speaker 1: come to me in a lot of things other than

1073
00:57:57,720 --> 00:58:01,600
Speaker 1: female dog, and it's used between dudes, go bitch, you know,

1074
00:58:01,920 --> 00:58:04,440
Speaker 1: to each other. I think you're fine to be to

1075
00:58:04,520 --> 00:58:10,000
Speaker 1: make wench, what do they call that? Omni gender versal?

1076
00:58:10,520 --> 00:58:16,439
Speaker 1: No ah? No, what would be wench? Universal? Yeah?

1077
00:58:17,000 --> 00:58:17,800
Speaker 2: Universal lunch.

1078
00:58:21,600 --> 00:58:28,480
Speaker 1: Well, well, well, keep an American because look, America is

1079
00:58:28,480 --> 00:58:29,320
Speaker 1: still a good brand.

1080
00:58:29,760 --> 00:58:30,600
Speaker 2: Picks your hair.

1081
00:58:30,760 --> 00:58:39,200
Speaker 1: Really finally, fuck makes me so proud? All right, man,

1082
00:58:39,280 --> 00:58:44,520
Speaker 1: So Harley's uh first single drops in a week. Get ready,

1083
00:58:45,200 --> 00:58:47,640
Speaker 1: everybody shop fast and ship like that like a high

1084
00:58:47,640 --> 00:58:54,800
Speaker 1: holy day. And then uh, vegan mabbatoire van abbatoi. Vegan

1085
00:58:54,840 --> 00:58:59,080
Speaker 1: Abbatoire is where we get vegan recommendations. Here's mine, juicy marbles.

1086
00:58:59,600 --> 00:59:03,320
Speaker 1: Oh you they make a fake little that is to

1087
00:59:03,400 --> 00:59:11,080
Speaker 1: die for. That is the end. Passion Okay, got one

1088
00:59:12,720 --> 00:59:17,200
Speaker 1: passion and ration not one thing that is passion or ration.

1089
00:59:19,000 --> 00:59:23,880
Speaker 2: I have a ration. I've been a I don't know

1090
00:59:23,920 --> 00:59:28,760
Speaker 2: if you can tell from the podcast, but I've been

1091
00:59:29,760 --> 00:59:33,240
Speaker 2: feeling all down on myself lately. All right, Yeah, I've

1092
00:59:33,240 --> 00:59:34,640
Speaker 2: been feeling pretty I.

1093
00:59:34,600 --> 00:59:36,360
Speaker 1: Listened to the podcast. I didn't pick that up at all.

1094
00:59:36,440 --> 00:59:38,640
Speaker 2: All right, Well, maybe not again.

1095
00:59:38,680 --> 00:59:40,880
Speaker 1: I tend to listen to the Kevin Smith's side of things.

1096
00:59:40,880 --> 00:59:44,680
Speaker 1: He's very okay. Maybe that's why I couldn't listen last

1097
00:59:44,680 --> 00:59:46,200
Speaker 1: week though, because I couldn't take my eyes of his

1098
00:59:46,360 --> 00:59:49,640
Speaker 1: fucking stupid hair sticking out of his hat.

1099
00:59:50,120 --> 00:59:50,600
Speaker 2: You done?

1100
00:59:50,800 --> 00:59:51,080
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1101
00:59:51,160 --> 00:59:51,520
Speaker 2: All right?

1102
00:59:52,840 --> 00:59:54,280
Speaker 1: So what's the point.

1103
00:59:54,800 --> 00:59:59,840
Speaker 2: I'd like to to ration being self deprecating?

1104
01:00:00,560 --> 01:00:04,680
Speaker 1: Really? Yeah? Well, self deprecating, yeah, I guess that's right.

1105
01:00:04,920 --> 01:00:08,080
Speaker 1: I trade in self deprecating humor. Yeah, but you're not

1106
01:00:08,160 --> 01:00:12,360
Speaker 1: talking about like being You're just being self deplicated.

1107
01:00:13,520 --> 01:00:17,720
Speaker 2: Basically. Yeah. I would just like a little less of that.

1108
01:00:17,920 --> 01:00:18,520
Speaker 2: If I can.

1109
01:00:19,400 --> 01:00:20,720
Speaker 1: You gotta think positive, then.

1110
01:00:20,880 --> 01:00:23,240
Speaker 2: I'd like to strive to strive for that.

1111
01:00:23,400 --> 01:00:26,479
Speaker 1: Yeah, I like that. Here. First step to that saying

1112
01:00:26,560 --> 01:00:27,919
Speaker 1: yes to that Campbell Soup gig.

1113
01:00:28,360 --> 01:00:31,680
Speaker 2: I think that would put me in a very rough spot.

1114
01:00:31,800 --> 01:00:32,280
Speaker 1: Think about it.

1115
01:00:32,360 --> 01:00:33,320
Speaker 2: It's my identity.

1116
01:00:33,520 --> 01:00:36,000
Speaker 1: You could as an actor be the Campbell Soup baby

1117
01:00:36,040 --> 01:00:38,560
Speaker 1: girl baby, and the two of you are together.

1118
01:00:38,320 --> 01:00:39,680
Speaker 2: And you want to do it.

1119
01:00:39,760 --> 01:00:41,480
Speaker 1: They cover you in all the trades. They're like the

1120
01:00:42,360 --> 01:00:44,800
Speaker 1: Campbell Soup babies. Are married in real life. How sweet

1121
01:00:44,840 --> 01:00:45,080
Speaker 1: is that?

1122
01:00:45,160 --> 01:00:48,560
Speaker 2: What about a fan?

1123
01:00:50,080 --> 01:00:52,680
Speaker 1: It becomes so fucking popular that you guys get a

1124
01:00:52,720 --> 01:00:55,760
Speaker 1: variety show, the Campbell Soup Baby's Hour.

1125
01:00:56,320 --> 01:00:57,840
Speaker 2: How about you and Austin do it?

1126
01:00:58,400 --> 01:01:00,000
Speaker 1: They don't want me, I'm old. They want you. They

1127
01:01:00,040 --> 01:01:01,400
Speaker 1: need a girl and a boy.

1128
01:01:01,560 --> 01:01:02,360
Speaker 2: They asked for you.

1129
01:01:02,440 --> 01:01:04,120
Speaker 1: They need a girl and a boy. No, this isn't

1130
01:01:04,120 --> 01:01:06,320
Speaker 1: your don't try to hijack my story. They need a

1131
01:01:06,360 --> 01:01:07,680
Speaker 1: girl and a boy, and they want him young. They

1132
01:01:07,680 --> 01:01:08,120
Speaker 1: don't want me.

1133
01:01:08,280 --> 01:01:10,360
Speaker 2: I told you my answer. I told you my answer.

1134
01:01:10,760 --> 01:01:17,000
Speaker 1: It's no, just saying that happiness is.

1135
01:01:18,240 --> 01:01:21,240
Speaker 2: Happiness is three million dollars a year.

1136
01:01:21,600 --> 01:01:22,280
Speaker 1: That's happiness.

1137
01:01:22,440 --> 01:01:27,400
Speaker 2: Happiness is to make it work because I can't play

1138
01:01:27,440 --> 01:01:29,840
Speaker 2: an infant as a twenty five year old.

1139
01:01:30,600 --> 01:01:33,560
Speaker 1: I just think that even in a hypothetical world, it's

1140
01:01:33,600 --> 01:01:39,160
Speaker 1: worrying when you're like no, because I.

1141
01:01:37,920 --> 01:01:41,440
Speaker 2: I how the fuck is not even a legitimate ask?

1142
01:01:42,040 --> 01:01:44,960
Speaker 2: What do you mean for me to play? The fucking

1143
01:01:46,040 --> 01:01:46,360
Speaker 2: you are?

1144
01:01:46,400 --> 01:01:49,960
Speaker 1: The flow from Progressive for Campbell's.

1145
01:01:49,760 --> 01:01:52,360
Speaker 2: So I'm in a diaper on TV?

1146
01:01:52,880 --> 01:01:56,480
Speaker 1: Yes, play an adult baby playing, not an adult baby

1147
01:01:56,520 --> 01:02:00,720
Speaker 1: A Campbell soup kid, No classic beloved camp Soup Kids.

1148
01:02:00,960 --> 01:02:05,680
Speaker 1: My grandmother. Oh my god, my great granddaughter grows up

1149
01:02:05,680 --> 01:02:07,640
Speaker 1: to be one of the Campbell soup kids. That's amazing.

1150
01:02:07,680 --> 01:02:08,240
Speaker 1: I never saw that.

1151
01:02:08,400 --> 01:02:10,440
Speaker 2: This is why people hate me, because you put me

1152
01:02:10,480 --> 01:02:14,320
Speaker 2: in these fucking hypotheticals and then I sound like an

1153
01:02:14,360 --> 01:02:17,840
Speaker 2: ass because I don't want to fucking do something humiliating

1154
01:02:18,360 --> 01:02:19,840
Speaker 2: for three million dollars.

1155
01:02:20,240 --> 01:02:21,960
Speaker 1: It's just weird to me because I will, and.

1156
01:02:21,920 --> 01:02:24,360
Speaker 2: Then people hate me. You just start setting me up

1157
01:02:24,400 --> 01:02:28,000
Speaker 2: to get hated on every fucking time, and I'm fucking

1158
01:02:28,080 --> 01:02:30,120
Speaker 2: tired of it. That's my ration.

1159
01:02:30,400 --> 01:02:35,040
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm setting up breezy layups and you're like, nah, yeah,

1160
01:02:35,080 --> 01:02:37,520
Speaker 1: my dignity is more important than money, And I'm like,

1161
01:02:37,640 --> 01:02:41,920
Speaker 1: what you are talking to? Silent Bob, still wearing the

1162
01:02:41,920 --> 01:02:45,640
Speaker 1: same app for thirty years. All right, well there's your ration, kids.

1163
01:02:46,000 --> 01:02:50,520
Speaker 2: My rasian is these fucking hypothetical hypotheticals that make me

1164
01:02:50,680 --> 01:02:51,880
Speaker 2: look like an asshole.

1165
01:02:52,440 --> 01:02:56,720
Speaker 1: Do you know what my passion is? What the hypothetic hype? Asshole?

1166
01:02:58,840 --> 01:03:00,600
Speaker 1: They're not meant to make it look like an asshole.

1167
01:03:02,600 --> 01:03:08,600
Speaker 1: It's t ball. It's me putting the ball on the

1168
01:03:08,600 --> 01:03:11,680
Speaker 1: thing so you can easily hit it. Instead, you take

1169
01:03:11,720 --> 01:03:12,520
Speaker 1: the bat to your.

1170
01:03:12,400 --> 01:03:15,360
Speaker 2: Own foot, because your thing.

1171
01:03:15,960 --> 01:03:18,680
Speaker 1: Because you don't because you don't understand that it's all

1172
01:03:18,680 --> 01:03:21,320
Speaker 1: made up. Who gives a ship? Just fucking go along.

1173
01:03:21,040 --> 01:03:21,960
Speaker 2: With it, all right?

1174
01:03:22,080 --> 01:03:22,280
Speaker 1: Sure?

1175
01:03:23,640 --> 01:03:32,760
Speaker 2: Whatever fucking and that's all the departments. That's it.

1176
01:03:32,840 --> 01:03:35,040
Speaker 1: I can't listen to the end of our show. Do

1177
01:03:35,080 --> 01:03:38,800
Speaker 1: you have a good time? No, that's how we do it.

1178
01:03:38,800 --> 01:03:43,920
Speaker 1: Here a beardless dickless meat kids, that's beardless tickless meter

1179
01:03:44,040 --> 01:03:44,600
Speaker 1: this week.

1180
01:03:45,520 --> 01:03:46,560
Speaker 2: I hope you enjoyed.

1181
01:03:47,440 --> 01:03:48,280
Speaker 1: I had a great time.

1182
01:03:49,960 --> 01:03:54,440
Speaker 2: I just I'm not confident of a person enough to

1183
01:03:54,520 --> 01:03:58,720
Speaker 2: put myself at the butt of every joke, either of mine.

1184
01:03:58,800 --> 01:04:03,920
Speaker 1: But for money, that makes a big difference. If it

1185
01:04:04,040 --> 01:04:06,320
Speaker 1: was free, if the Campbells people were coming at you

1186
01:04:06,400 --> 01:04:08,400
Speaker 1: been can you do it? Other counts, you're right, I'm

1187
01:04:08,480 --> 01:04:10,600
Speaker 1: right next to you, go fuck yourselves. But if they're like,

1188
01:04:10,640 --> 01:04:12,400
Speaker 1: here's a fat three million dollars.

1189
01:04:12,720 --> 01:04:15,440
Speaker 2: For three million dollars, sure I will be the Campbells

1190
01:04:15,480 --> 01:04:18,760
Speaker 2: wue baby in a diaper. Seriously, if it makes you

1191
01:04:18,840 --> 01:04:20,440
Speaker 2: happy and proud, it.

1192
01:04:20,400 --> 01:04:22,680
Speaker 1: Makes me happy and proud. Plus you'll be three million

1193
01:04:22,720 --> 01:04:24,880
Speaker 1: dollars a year richer. That makes me happy and proud too.

1194
01:04:25,560 --> 01:04:28,160
Speaker 1: So you're in. I can have you sign the contract. Yes, okay,

1195
01:04:28,240 --> 01:04:36,640
Speaker 1: problem is it's not vegan soup. Mephisto strikes again.

1196
01:04:37,080 --> 01:04:39,920
Speaker 2: I literally have no words.

1197
01:04:40,520 --> 01:04:44,360
Speaker 1: There's your vegan abatua for this week, vegan abit that's right,

1198
01:04:44,400 --> 01:04:48,680
Speaker 1: we left began abatue. There's beardless this week. Yeah, we've

1199
01:04:48,680 --> 01:04:52,160
Speaker 1: exited the began app twelve and we've re entered beardless

1200
01:04:52,160 --> 01:04:54,400
Speaker 1: stickless mate, just in time to say goodbye. Do you

1201
01:04:54,440 --> 01:04:56,360
Speaker 1: have a good time, kids? It's even funnier when you

1202
01:04:56,440 --> 01:04:59,360
Speaker 1: watch it at that Kevinsmith club dot com. Man Plus,

1203
01:04:59,400 --> 01:05:00,200
Speaker 1: we get paid.

1204
01:05:01,640 --> 01:05:02,560
Speaker 2: So true.

1205
01:05:04,080 --> 01:05:09,200
Speaker 1: For beardless stickless, ma'am Kevin Smith. Yourselves, a beardless dickless day,

1206
01:05:09,200 --> 01:05:23,800
Speaker 1: a little dicklets. This has been a podcast production, this

1207
01:05:23,960 --> 01:05:27,800
Speaker 1: podcast podcast, using our mouths on you since two thousand

1208
01:05:27,840 --> 01:05:34,560
Speaker 1: and seven. Hey kids, did you like what you just heard? Well,

1209
01:05:34,600 --> 01:05:37,840
Speaker 1: guess what. We've got tons more, man thousands of hours

1210
01:05:37,840 --> 01:05:42,000
Speaker 1: of podcasts waiting for you at that Kevinsmith club dot com.

1211
01:05:42,000 --> 01:05:43,040
Speaker 1: Go sign up now.