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Chris Dupree, welcome aboard to our program today.

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I am so happy to have you.

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We've spotlighted veterans in the past and I'm always glad to have a veteran on the show.

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I'd love to start there, right?

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At the beginning of your career and even before you became a veteran, tell me what was
going through your head when you decided to join.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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So, so thanks for having me here.

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it's a great question.

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So it actually goes way, way back.

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So my father had wanted to be a military officer, right?

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He really wanted to go to West Point.

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This is back in the early seventies and maybe it's late sixties, but he didn't, he didn't
get it.

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He was like a,

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He was an alternate, right?

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So, so he's an alternate, didn't get in.

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So went to Pennsylvania military college, which no longer exists.

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but he went there for a year, then he got real sick and his military career never came to
fruition.

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So then I come into the picture and he really wanted me to go to the academy and I wanted
nothing to do with that until, and this is the craziest

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until my eighth grade field trip to Washington DC, we went to the Tomb of the Unknown
Soldier and I saw the changing of the guard.

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And while I am not tall enough to have ever served in the old guard, I saw that and went,
my gosh, that's what I want to do.

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So I'm 14 years old.

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And from then on, it was like, okay, so how do I become an army officer?

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I tried to go to the academy.

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My SATs weren't great.

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So I ended up at Valley Forge military college in Pennsylvania, got commissioned at 20
finished college went on active duty, but I enlisted when I was 17.

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So I was one of those weird kids that enlisted while I was a junior in high school in the
reserves went to basic training between my junior and senior year.

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and then went off to college, became a cadet before ever going to write.

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And September 11th happened my freshman year of college.

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And I was in ROTC class as it happened.

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And it was just this whole thinking about it now.

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It was a life -changing day.

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mean, for so, many, but it clearly dictated my career from that moment as an 18 year old
kid at Valley Forge military college.

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Right.

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and, and so that that's how I

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you know, how I got into it.

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and 2006 I went on active duty and got out in 2014.

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You know, I remember everything about the moment that 9 -11 happened.

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Like, I remember being in the office.

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I remember I had, you know, this huge tower of equipment, electronics to my left, and I
was coding away.

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And I remember, you know, my colleague walking into the office and saying, and I was like,
bullshit, you don't joke about something like

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Right.

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That was my reaction, complete and utter disbelief.

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And he was like, no, I'm not joking.

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And you know, I...

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I think it's anybody who was not a kid at that time but was somewhat of an adult, it's a
moment that we will never forget to an excruciating level of detail.

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Yeah.

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You start off in the military, in the army, should say, as what?

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What's your starting point?

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So when I got on active duty, I was a first lieutenant.

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It was an infantry officer, Fort Benning, Georgia, going through the infantry officer
basic course.

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And, know, I would say the majority of infantry officers after that course go to ranger
school.

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And I was always a slow kid, right?

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Like I just, I wasn't there.

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And so

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I didn't get into the first ranger school class and my orders came up and I went to Fort
Lewis, Washington before I go to ranger school, which might seem like to those that

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aren't, you know, in the military, you won't get it, but it's a, it's an oddity for an
infantry officer to not be ranger qualified.

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And that I actually think that I attribute a ton of my future success on the fact that

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I wasn't Ranger qualified and had to basically prove myself every step of the way because
I lacked that that qualification.

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But yeah, so I started out as a young infantry officer, went to Fort Lewis, Washington.

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We were they were standing up a new striker brigade.

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So these eight wheeled crazy vehicles at the time.

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And

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you know, that was my first duty station and standing up a unit, usually a first
lieutenant's like a platoon leader, company executive officer.

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After like a couple of weeks on the brigade staff and the brigade staff consisted of like
30 people, right?

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Like it was all these young folks that had just gotten there.

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But I became the battalion executive officer for two one infantry, which is a major spot,
right?

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So several pay grades above mine.

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And I actually got to start working with the battalion commander.

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And again, he was a guy that was in ranger regiment at one point, and he looked at me
differently.

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I had to prove myself to him.

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Right.

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And so we built this relationship.

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The unit actually stands up.

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I do time as a company executive officer as an assistant operations officer.

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And then I,

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Got to go to Iraq as a transition team, deputy team leader as a young captain.

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Well, how do you...

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Like, there's this gap, right?

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There's this trust that needs to be

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Mm.

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and you felt the disadvantage, right?

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How did you approach that gap?

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How did you build that trust?

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You know, I don't know if I consciously did it, but I just knew.

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And the funny thing is I'm going to say I worked harder and I really don't want to promote
that.

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That's like the thing to do because you know, there's definitely ways to be smart about
it.

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But I think what I did was I didn't, I leaned into the stuff that you should know.

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I leaned into being.

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You know, one of my mentors would call it varsity.

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Like it was always like, how do you just show up and be the best and bring your best
version of yourself forward every day?

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How do you get better every single day?

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And whether it's, you know, developing a training plan and like really making sure it's,
it's, it's tight or just being super present or, you know, taking the initiative.

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The idea was.

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In my head, I had this little voice on the side that was like, you have to be better than
everybody else because you lack this thing until the point where that, like, there was a

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point with everybody that I ever worked for that the second that they trusted that Holy
smokes, Chris has his stuff together, that dynamic shifted.

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it wasn't this like weird thing.

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You know, but it was clearly there.

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think the incredibly important point that you're making that was not obvious is that you
had this sense of self -awareness and you had a sense of where it was that you lacked

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specifically.

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It wasn't this general feeling of victimism and being worse than everybody else.

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was like, I need to get better here, here, and here, and I'm going to make a conscious
effort to learn and to do the best possible job that I can.

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I think that's such an interesting

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Yeah, I think it was, I definitely didn't look at myself as a victim of my circumstance or
like an imposter.

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was, Hey man, you're five foot six.

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You're, you know, I remember on like the EIB 12 mile road march.

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I had friends that just knocked that out in two hours.

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No sweat.

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And there I am this short little kid running the whole thing because that's what I had to
do.

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Right.

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And so I knew I was never going to be the fastest guy in the world.

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And then I was, I was never really the most physically fit until I went in command, the
whole different story.

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And we could talk about how all that came to be.

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But as a young lieutenant, young captain, was.

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know your doctrine, know your stuff.

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When you're in that meeting and they ask a question, you have the answer.

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You know how to find it.

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You know how to bring what needs to be brought.

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And that's how you're going to earn your position.

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That's how you're going to earn the respect of these folks, which I think a lot of young
officers didn't didn't do right.

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Like they had the stuff.

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you know, whether it be the ranger tab or some qualifications, but didn't have that
substance or that desire to go find it always.

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And that's one of the things that helped me through my career.

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so at some stage you're like, okay, I got this.

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Now I'm going to help others.

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What did that

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I got lucky to get a side.

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So I got lucky to be on this transition team with the Iraqi army, which was not some
special assignment.

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was, they needed people, right?

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But what I got lucky with is I got assigned to first brigade of the 82nd airborne
division, specifically first to the five four.

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And somehow I connected with the battalion commander who now a three star general and the
operations officer who was about to be the brigade operations.

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Like all these folks, like we just clicked.

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So they requested me to come to first brigade after that deployment.

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And through a great mentor guy named Adam Barlow, who's a Colonel now, former battalion
commander, he taught me how to be a company commander.

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And what he did is he showed me that his whole mission in life, while he had the mission
that he had in his job, his number one priority after his family was making me ready to

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Right?

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Like his whole mission in life.

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And so we deployed to Afghanistan on this really quick turn to Afghanistan.

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weren't expecting it.

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And Adam and I planned a lot, like we were the plans officers for the brigade at the time.

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So we did all this stuff and then our rhythm was wake up really early every morning.

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Go do the CrossFit workout of the day together.

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You know, get cleaned up, go eat breakfast, work

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18 hours rinse and repeat for about seven months.

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And that whole seven month time while we were executing the mission we had at hand, he was
100 % preparing me to take command.

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And when I took command, I realized that my whole job in life was to develop the
lieutenants that were under me and the soldiers that were in my command.

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Not to be the good job men, but to be the guy that was approachable that I constantly got
yelled at for having a hand in my pocket and a coffee cup right here as I like hung out

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with the guys.

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And I just found that that was, that's how you did it.

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And so today, you know, I've been out for, it'll be 10 years since I got out on Thursday
and I still have people that I served with that I was like, I was either their commander

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or I was a staff officer with Mike that are still connected to me.

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And I think it's because it wasn't do what I said, because I said so it was, what do you
think we should do?

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How should we do it?

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what are you thinking?

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You know, and, really turn them into leaders.

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and so that that's where it started.

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And then, you know, if you fast forward seven or eight years or six or seven years,
really, then I got the transition to do that in the business world, which is really,

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really fun.

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So before we get to the business world, I want to capture the feeling of first day, take
off the uniform, haven't worn civilian clothes for more than, you know, time off in a long

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time.

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But now you're it.

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You're in civilian clothes.

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This is your new uniform.

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What's going through your mind?

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was totally overdressed for my first day at work completely.

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Right.

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I didn't really know how, how it was all going to go.

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And, you know, think I was pretty anxious might be the word, like excited might be the
word, but I knew, I knew that the hiring process was immediate, right?

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My, my flash to bang on getting a job.

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I got two job offers in the same night as I was standing in an airport on my way back to
Fort Bragg.

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Right?

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So was like, you know, I felt like.

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I had what like I had what it took right.

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But then that first day when you got to drive to an office that's not a base.

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Yeah, it wasn't it wasn't super great.

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But I think after getting like settled, it changed a bit but it was definitely not like it
was not like any other day.

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Yeah, it's a shock.

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It's a it's a it's a complete trip even even with

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you know, some time off before I started and all that, was still like, you know, putting
on a suit, which was the overdressed part, was that something that I had done?

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Did they give you shit about that suit later

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I mean, I don't think anybody, it was not that kind of a company, but it was definitely
like, yeah, Hey, here's a collared shirt that says Ehrlich pest control on it, pal.

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You don't need to.

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like, okay.

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So all these clothes I just bought thinking that.

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Yeah.

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I guess I don't need them.

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Let me go back to the store and get a whole bunch of dockers or something.

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Right.

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because nobody at least I grew up in the wartime army.

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Nobody talked about business casual when I was in like like that wasn't a thing we
discussed right like it was like how to get ready to go to Iraq or Afghanistan.

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Although we do have the formal version and the field version.

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Right, right.

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But, here's the deal.

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I put on my dress uniform once a month when I was in Garrison for payday activities.

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It happened like three times when I was at Fort Lewis.

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And then it happened every month that we were home at Fort Bragg because that's an 82nd
airborne division thing.

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Right?

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So you polish your jump boots, you throw on your beret, you put on your boot, like, but
that was, and you did that for, I don't know half the day.

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And that was it.

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Right.

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Yeah.

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So this transition from from army to civilian, what was the

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lessons from the army that transitioned nicely.

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Yeah.

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So I think the, most transferable piece is people or people, whether they're a private, a
Sergeant, Lieutenant, like people, you know, or a pest control technician or regional

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manager, like people or people.

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And so, you know, how you communicate with folks is important.

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Right.

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So that transition, work ethic, totally transition, right?

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This idea of.

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I always loved feeling like I had a chip on my shoulder, right?

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Like it was, as I, as I reflect, probably didn't love it then, but it was this, okay, how
can I always be better?

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How can I always move, move the ball forward?

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That transitioned really nicely into civilian world, right?

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Like that got me enrolled in graduate school very quickly.

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That got

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00:18:54,862 --> 00:19:06,639
You know, okay, you don't know what a profit and loss is or what a CRM is you better go
figure it out because you're responsible for the EBITDA What the hell does that mean?

218
00:19:06,639 --> 00:19:11,471
How do you write like I had to learn business real fast?

219
00:19:12,032 --> 00:19:23,817
so that Chip on my shoulder mentality made me learn things fast But the biggest the
biggest lesson I learned

220
00:19:23,817 --> 00:19:24,389
your shoulder.

221
00:19:24,389 --> 00:19:25,712
It's not a negative thing.

222
00:19:25,712 --> 00:19:27,706
It's more it's a driving force.

223
00:19:27,706 --> 00:19:31,834
It's what was promoting you to work hard, right?

224
00:19:32,978 --> 00:19:34,620
I would call it ambition.

225
00:19:34,773 --> 00:19:35,173
Yeah.

226
00:19:35,173 --> 00:19:36,634
It was, it was, yes.

227
00:19:36,634 --> 00:19:40,957
It was this ambition to be better every day that, that put a path forward.

228
00:19:41,158 --> 00:19:50,124
But the biggest thing I learned was I came from a very, I think the right word is
homogeneous.

229
00:19:50,425 --> 00:19:51,405
Cool.

230
00:19:51,886 --> 00:19:58,091
When I was an infantry officer, it was a male only field.

231
00:19:58,312 --> 00:19:59,332
Okay.

232
00:19:59,933 --> 00:20:01,760
And everybody.

233
00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:10,578
When I was a company commander, every lieutenant, every, everybody that worked for me went
to basic training.

234
00:20:10,730 --> 00:20:12,171
Everybody went to airborne school.

235
00:20:12,171 --> 00:20:17,175
All the officers went to the infantry officer basic course, or my artillery officer went
to the artillery base.

236
00:20:17,175 --> 00:20:21,569
Like everybody had the shared language, the shared understanding.

237
00:20:21,569 --> 00:20:27,755
And the second you get to Fort Bragg, you get issued the Fort Bragg SOP and the 82nd SOP,
right?

238
00:20:27,755 --> 00:20:34,700
And so everybody had the shared collective mission vision understanding.

239
00:20:34,700 --> 00:20:39,126
mean, where, where we were every morning, they played

240
00:20:39,126 --> 00:20:41,327
You know, the 82nd airborne division song, right?

241
00:20:41,327 --> 00:20:44,228
So you're indoctrinated into this.

242
00:20:45,429 --> 00:20:52,913
I failed to see that not everybody had the same schooling as me, that not everybody had
the same understanding.

243
00:20:52,913 --> 00:20:55,234
And this is not just at the first job.

244
00:20:55,615 --> 00:21:09,062
Like I didn't notice this until my third organization, which granted was only three years
after I got out, I realized it, you know,

245
00:21:09,186 --> 00:21:21,066
August of 17, September 17, I started impact and I realized like, this is why some
initiatives didn't take off before.

246
00:21:21,066 --> 00:21:31,488
Nobody knew like we just weren't on the same page, but that was the biggest, the biggest
area that I, that I noticed.

247
00:21:31,488 --> 00:21:33,468
I think that's very fair.

248
00:21:33,769 --> 00:21:36,609
You don't know what you don't know, right?

249
00:21:36,609 --> 00:21:40,010
That's ironically also a big lesson from the army.

250
00:21:40,010 --> 00:21:45,072
That's one of the things they teach.

251
00:21:45,072 --> 00:21:58,395
you've done a couple years with service, you've done a couple years with architects, and
there you used a lot of your planning skills.

252
00:21:58,715 --> 00:22:00,884
So that translated very well.

253
00:22:00,884 --> 00:22:05,179
You got promoted, director, principal, you learned about the business world.

254
00:22:05,179 --> 00:22:12,216
And then after that, you decided to make a change and you went into, in essence,
consulting.

255
00:22:12,578 --> 00:22:15,220
Tell us about why you made that change.

256
00:22:15,328 --> 00:22:15,698
Yeah.

257
00:22:15,698 --> 00:22:19,450
So it actually just follows this story narrative, right?

258
00:22:19,450 --> 00:22:24,303
So when I got out of the army, I started networking, right?

259
00:22:24,303 --> 00:22:26,645
Like LinkedIn was a huge thing.

260
00:22:26,645 --> 00:22:27,485
They pushed on us.

261
00:22:27,485 --> 00:22:30,587
This is, this is, you know, mid 14th, right?

262
00:22:30,927 --> 00:22:36,821
And I found a guy that I went to college with this guy named Bob Ruffalo and the funny
thing.

263
00:22:36,821 --> 00:22:39,012
we connected on LinkedIn.

264
00:22:39,012 --> 00:22:39,642
started chatting.

265
00:22:39,642 --> 00:22:41,453
We were actually fraternity brothers.

266
00:22:43,338 --> 00:22:47,560
And so we connected and he started a company and I started reading all this stuff.

267
00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:58,114
And just to show you how much I didn't know, I thought Bob invented inbound marketing
because, because his company just talked about it.

268
00:22:58,114 --> 00:23:08,009
And I was like, I, I remember calling my buddy and being like my buddy Steve and saying,
Hey man, I think Ruffalo created some new way to do marketing.

269
00:23:08,009 --> 00:23:09,119
I'm going to go talk to him.

270
00:23:09,119 --> 00:23:11,370
And he's like, okay, dude, right.

271
00:23:12,628 --> 00:23:14,209
And so I reconnect with Bob.

272
00:23:14,209 --> 00:23:15,499
So I get back to Connecticut.

273
00:23:15,499 --> 00:23:17,080
start my first job.

274
00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:24,243
start getting together monthly to talk about leadership, to talk about what's going on in
business.

275
00:23:25,604 --> 00:23:32,006
And about six months after I got out of the army, he asked me to come to impact to be the
COO at the time.

276
00:23:32,006 --> 00:23:34,127
Like he was, he had just fought.

277
00:23:34,127 --> 00:23:39,049
He had just read EOL, our traction and he wanted an integrator.

278
00:23:39,249 --> 00:23:41,050
And I looked at him and I said,

279
00:23:41,356 --> 00:23:46,407
Bob, I'm just like, I'm not going to go screw up your company.

280
00:23:46,407 --> 00:23:48,788
So sorry, I'm not, I'm not going to do it yet.

281
00:23:49,428 --> 00:23:50,208
So he's like, fine.

282
00:23:50,208 --> 00:23:53,909
So we keep meeting, keep meeting, keep meeting, hanging out.

283
00:23:54,150 --> 00:24:01,301
Then at the architecture firm, you know, I start asking him some stuff because we start
doing some of these things.

284
00:24:01,301 --> 00:24:03,222
And he says, Hey, go read this book.

285
00:24:03,222 --> 00:24:05,552
They ask you answer by Marcus Sheridan.

286
00:24:05,653 --> 00:24:06,393
Okay.

287
00:24:06,393 --> 00:24:10,474
So I read it and I called him and was like, dude, this book is amazing.

288
00:24:11,834 --> 00:24:18,061
you know, he posts on Facebook because he was friends with Marcus, who wrote the book.

289
00:24:18,061 --> 00:24:22,466
Marcus sends me a message like, hey, bud, really, really glad that you liked my book.

290
00:24:22,466 --> 00:24:23,947
Holy smokes.

291
00:24:24,088 --> 00:24:30,845
So then I go to their event and Bob looks at me again and I look at him.

292
00:24:30,845 --> 00:24:33,297
like, I think it's time that I come over.

293
00:24:33,652 --> 00:24:44,976
And it was because I finally felt like I was ready to work for a friend and take a huge
responsibility for someone that I truly knew.

294
00:24:44,976 --> 00:24:49,000
like, you know, not that I didn't feel a huge.

295
00:24:51,282 --> 00:24:55,084
loyalty to to the owner of the architecture firm.

296
00:24:55,084 --> 00:24:56,715
Like he took a risk on me.

297
00:24:56,715 --> 00:25:04,028
He trusted me, you know, but it was, it was easier to take a risk with somebody that
wasn't like already in your life.

298
00:25:04,428 --> 00:25:06,409
And I got to that point and it was ready.

299
00:25:07,469 --> 00:25:16,294
And, and that was really when I felt like I had air quotes made it into

300
00:25:16,886 --> 00:25:21,447
this post army life that wasn't as chaotic.

301
00:25:24,188 --> 00:25:36,471
and, from there, Bob and I did a bunch of things together and we brought in Marcus and
next thing you know, Bob's company transitions into this coaching and training company.

302
00:25:37,312 --> 00:25:44,254
And as COVID hits, I transitioned from being a chief operating officer to being a
principal coach.

303
00:25:45,450 --> 00:26:11,792
and working with Marcus and building all the stuff with them.

304
00:26:11,792 --> 00:26:16,008
What were your challenges and how were you helping customers?

305
00:26:16,066 --> 00:26:16,446
Yeah.

306
00:26:16,446 --> 00:26:20,946
So originally, you know, I was in learn mode.

307
00:26:21,326 --> 00:26:27,966
So impact at the time was about 25 to 30 folks.

308
00:26:28,066 --> 00:26:31,866
had about five remote employees at this point.

309
00:26:32,326 --> 00:26:37,666
And a few years back, they had had a big turnover, right?

310
00:26:37,666 --> 00:26:45,482
Bob was going through becoming a leader and, and this team, he had built a leadership team
coming out of that.

311
00:26:45,482 --> 00:26:48,483
And now I'm everybody on the leadership teams boss.

312
00:26:49,544 --> 00:26:53,015
So I spent a lot of time just sitting with them and listening.

313
00:26:53,015 --> 00:26:56,326
And that was really, really hard for me.

314
00:26:58,357 --> 00:27:03,029
because I mean, you know, I naturally want to help.

315
00:27:03,870 --> 00:27:09,392
And so I'm also naturally not the best leader or excuse me, not the best listener.

316
00:27:09,652 --> 00:27:13,914
And so I've got a whole system where I hold different color pens to like.

317
00:27:14,114 --> 00:27:18,474
focus my brain on listening instead of trying to help.

318
00:27:18,574 --> 00:27:21,434
But I spent, I spent a few months doing that.

319
00:27:21,494 --> 00:27:26,714
And then I spent a lot of time reading and doing professional development.

320
00:27:26,714 --> 00:27:32,894
And I mean, I think my first year and a half at impact, I probably read like 70 books.

321
00:27:33,774 --> 00:27:37,854
I mean, it was like a, it was, it was, it was at least a book a week.

322
00:27:37,854 --> 00:27:39,436
It was just

323
00:27:39,436 --> 00:27:42,068
filling my brain with everything.

324
00:27:42,068 --> 00:27:51,194
You know, I'd already finished my master's at Quinnipiac and organizational leadership,
but now it was like crash course in marketing crash course in sales, all these things to

325
00:27:51,194 --> 00:27:52,034
grow.

326
00:27:52,695 --> 00:27:58,459
And, you know, a lot of it was developing the leaders of impact was the first thing,
right?

327
00:27:58,459 --> 00:28:03,441
So it felt very reminiscent to working with my platoon leaders.

328
00:28:04,254 --> 00:28:15,065
And, and like the greatest thing that happened is when I transitioned to being a coach and
really focusing on clients, one of my direct reports replaced me.

329
00:28:16,047 --> 00:28:21,152
And she just recently moved on from impact, but she was the COO for like four or five
years.

330
00:28:21,152 --> 00:28:22,673
And I got to help.

331
00:28:22,912 --> 00:28:28,958
You know, help her in her leadership journey, the current VP of services at impact was
somebody that had worked for me.

332
00:28:28,958 --> 00:28:29,528
Right.

333
00:28:29,528 --> 00:28:36,494
Like, all these folks that have grown and developed, like I got to do that with Bob, the
CEO.

334
00:28:37,356 --> 00:28:39,317
And, and it was super great.

335
00:28:39,317 --> 00:28:42,721
The days were, you know, they were long, right?

336
00:28:42,721 --> 00:28:48,505
It was, it was getting early, stay late, you know, part of the stay late.

337
00:28:49,084 --> 00:28:54,777
I was, I didn't know this at the time, but I was on a path to, go through a divorce.

338
00:28:56,178 --> 00:29:06,744
which, which was the best thing that's one of the best in my personal side that's
happened, but I was probably avoiding being at home some of the time and staying at work.

339
00:29:08,225 --> 00:29:13,808
And then as COVID hit, it turned into really work with clients.

340
00:29:14,248 --> 00:29:17,490
And I still remember the first company that I ever worked with.

341
00:29:17,662 --> 00:29:21,463
is now like they're really big now and you see billboards of them everywhere.

342
00:29:21,463 --> 00:29:22,943
It's really awesome.

343
00:29:24,144 --> 00:29:33,657
but I remember working with my first CEO I worked with had been a consultant at GE knew
that he was way smarter than I was.

344
00:29:33,657 --> 00:29:40,489
And so now I'm in this like first real engagement with a customer as a coach.

345
00:29:40,489 --> 00:29:43,410
And he's one of the smartest guys I've ever met in my whole life.

346
00:29:44,896 --> 00:29:49,429
Totally made me into the coach that I've become just having to like having to go through
that.

347
00:29:49,429 --> 00:29:50,229
Right.

348
00:29:50,910 --> 00:29:57,473
But it, turned into as much as I'd love to say teaching people to ask you answer.

349
00:29:58,250 --> 00:30:07,598
I really think the thing that it was was showing people the mirror and showing them that
they always had the stuff within themselves.

350
00:30:08,139 --> 00:30:10,781
That was true of my platoon leaders.

351
00:30:10,842 --> 00:30:14,524
It was true of the non -commissioned officers that worked for me.

352
00:30:14,645 --> 00:30:16,447
And it was true of the leaders at impact.

353
00:30:16,447 --> 00:30:19,489
And it's true of all the clients that I've worked with is

354
00:30:20,352 --> 00:30:32,956
The majority of the work that I do is helping them see themselves a little bit better and
helping them get to what they need to do to grow and better themselves and their

355
00:30:32,956 --> 00:30:34,186
organizations.

356
00:30:34,946 --> 00:30:47,930
There's definitely teaching and coaching on skills and, and things, but I think at the end
of the day, anybody can do the, Hey, here's how you do this.

357
00:30:50,178 --> 00:30:52,278
It's do people respond to it?

358
00:30:52,278 --> 00:31:04,298
Do they like, you know, I've got a client later this evening who shows up so excited to
tell me the work that they've done that I basically just get to sit back and then ask

359
00:31:04,298 --> 00:31:11,118
questions and, and, have this fun hour to wrap up my day.

360
00:31:11,518 --> 00:31:12,278
Right.

361
00:31:12,278 --> 00:31:13,918
And it's not one person.

362
00:31:13,918 --> 00:31:17,738
This is a sales team of like 10 people.

363
00:31:17,826 --> 00:31:26,386
that I'm working with on communication and sales coaching, but they are going to show up
excited for that, which is not normal.

364
00:31:26,386 --> 00:31:34,826
If you, if you've never worked with sales teams, they usually show up angry and think that
the coach or the consultant is just a waste of time.

365
00:31:34,826 --> 00:31:37,246
these folks, right?

366
00:31:37,246 --> 00:31:39,606
Like they're going to show up excited.

367
00:31:39,646 --> 00:31:42,936
And while I'm going to be tired, cause it's going to be five 30 my time.

368
00:31:42,936 --> 00:31:45,026
I'm going to end at six 30.

369
00:31:45,394 --> 00:31:48,588
I will leave that call more energized than I am right now.

370
00:31:48,588 --> 00:31:51,376
And I'm pretty, I'm pretty fired up right now.

371
00:31:51,860 --> 00:31:56,062
That's definitely a testament to the culture of the organization.

372
00:31:56,062 --> 00:32:05,407
However, salespeople, and you know this, are extremely focused on output, on results, and
on efficient usage of their time.

373
00:32:05,407 --> 00:32:09,650
And if you're wasting their time, they're not going to mince meat about it, mince words
about it.

374
00:32:09,650 --> 00:32:10,650
It's not.

375
00:32:10,770 --> 00:32:14,923
So I think that's also a huge testament onto your interaction with them.

376
00:32:14,923 --> 00:32:17,214
They see value is what it tells me.

377
00:32:17,214 --> 00:32:19,855
And I built and managed sales teams from scratch.

378
00:32:19,855 --> 00:32:21,536
So I completely see

379
00:32:22,188 --> 00:32:26,961
think Ari, that's the connector, right?

380
00:32:26,961 --> 00:32:28,402
As we talk about this.

381
00:32:28,402 --> 00:32:41,269
So I think as we talk about the thing that fueled me to be better each day, to like win
over all these folks, if I had to sum it down, was like, I think that I figured out how to

382
00:32:41,269 --> 00:32:48,453
add value without being a weight on the books per se.

383
00:32:48,453 --> 00:32:49,234
Like,

384
00:32:49,654 --> 00:32:55,820
How do I add value that is above, you know, what I should.

385
00:32:55,820 --> 00:33:05,429
And I think that's how my military career, you know, the thing we didn't really talk about
is, or I mean, I brushed on, but I was a non -ranger qualified infantry officer that

386
00:33:05,429 --> 00:33:08,771
commanded an infantry company in the 82nd airborne division.

387
00:33:09,012 --> 00:33:11,113
That is not normal.

388
00:33:12,575 --> 00:33:13,516
Right.

389
00:33:14,857 --> 00:33:15,718
And.

390
00:33:16,706 --> 00:33:19,506
I got a really good OER out of command.

391
00:33:19,506 --> 00:33:24,886
wasn't like, like I wasn't like the 35th out of 36 company commanders.

392
00:33:24,886 --> 00:33:27,586
was in the top two, right?

393
00:33:27,586 --> 00:33:35,846
As a non -ranger, because the value like, like just talking through this, is the value add
equation.

394
00:33:35,846 --> 00:33:44,906
so when I'm thinking about folks, cause I love helping folks that are getting out the

395
00:33:46,514 --> 00:33:59,138
I've got this very weird state that I'm in right now where all of the guys that were my
bosses have either retired or about to retire.

396
00:33:59,138 --> 00:34:05,159
And it's happened since I've been a coach and you connect with them and you see them.

397
00:34:05,159 --> 00:34:11,261
And I'm so happy to see that they're moving into these other things, but I'm like, some of
the roles I see them initially take them.

398
00:34:11,261 --> 00:34:14,862
I sit back and go, you commanded an infantry battalion.

399
00:34:15,136 --> 00:34:17,008
And now you're going to be a project man.

400
00:34:17,008 --> 00:34:20,790
Like, like, I hope that's what you want it to do.

401
00:34:21,732 --> 00:34:25,274
Or was it the quickest path?

402
00:34:25,675 --> 00:34:36,604
And so I, you know, I love sharing a bit of my story with them to say like, Hey, yeah, it
took me a little bit of time, but you have a lot more credentials than I did.

403
00:34:37,165 --> 00:34:42,630
You can find the crazy business owner that is willing to just go, you know what?

404
00:34:43,190 --> 00:34:43,370
Yeah.

405
00:34:43,370 --> 00:34:44,791
You command infantry battalion.

406
00:34:44,791 --> 00:34:45,852
Come help me run my company.

407
00:34:45,852 --> 00:34:47,212
We'll figure it out together.

408
00:34:47,653 --> 00:34:54,136
Cause I think that's the, the, piece that people miss is that like purpose.

409
00:34:54,977 --> 00:35:01,740
If you'll allow me to one quick story of I was at impact and I had a platoon leader call
me.

410
00:35:01,821 --> 00:35:03,942
one of my former platoon leaders is like, sir.

411
00:35:04,274 --> 00:35:07,485
you know, I freaking hate my job, but I see you on LinkedIn.

412
00:35:07,485 --> 00:35:09,015
It looks like you're having fun.

413
00:35:09,115 --> 00:35:15,607
You know, and after I told him to stop calling me sir and just call me Chris, it was like,
Hey, like talk to me about what's up.

414
00:35:15,607 --> 00:35:16,847
And he, he lacked purpose.

415
00:35:16,847 --> 00:35:24,500
He's like, dude, I'm making so much money, but I'm selling medical supplies and I could
care less about selling medical supplies.

416
00:35:24,500 --> 00:35:26,170
And I was like, okay, great.

417
00:35:26,170 --> 00:35:26,360
Great.

418
00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:26,880
Yeah.

419
00:35:26,880 --> 00:35:33,802
Well, and the funny thing is he has a twin identical twin brother who loved selling
medical supplies, right?

420
00:35:34,006 --> 00:35:37,527
But, but this guy, that's not what his thing was.

421
00:35:37,548 --> 00:35:39,968
And so I actually tried to hire him at impact.

422
00:35:40,369 --> 00:35:42,589
I was just going to make up a role, right.

423
00:35:43,310 --> 00:35:52,654
And then he started interviewing with a really cool organization, in the seafood industry.

424
00:35:52,874 --> 00:35:55,355
And it was for like this assistant GM role.

425
00:35:56,055 --> 00:35:57,936
And he used me as a reference.

426
00:35:57,936 --> 00:36:00,737
And I told the, I remember talking to them.

427
00:36:00,737 --> 00:36:02,498
I tell you exactly what it was.

428
00:36:02,774 --> 00:36:03,885
And I said, well, Hey, check it out.

429
00:36:03,885 --> 00:36:07,337
If you don't hire him, I'm going to make him a job offer tomorrow.

430
00:36:08,158 --> 00:36:09,419
He got the job.

431
00:36:09,419 --> 00:36:15,862
And like the day that he started, he got promoted to general manager because the GM left.

432
00:36:16,043 --> 00:36:17,423
And so, yeah.

433
00:36:17,944 --> 00:36:25,710
But I saw him a year and a half later and he had a long shoreman's beard with like, we
were in Boston.

434
00:36:25,710 --> 00:36:29,612
had a huge beard, the hugest smile on his face.

435
00:36:29,612 --> 00:36:32,233
He was getting engaged, doing all like.

436
00:36:32,834 --> 00:36:36,274
but he found his purpose doing the thing.

437
00:36:36,394 --> 00:36:51,634
And that was like the most fulfilling piece because too many veterans like go into this
transition unaware of what like, I mean, so naive.

438
00:36:51,634 --> 00:36:53,994
I didn't know that property tax was a thing.

439
00:36:53,994 --> 00:36:59,394
was a 31 year old, you know, adult.

440
00:36:59,628 --> 00:37:02,210
who bought his first house was like, property tax?

441
00:37:02,210 --> 00:37:03,902
What are you talking about?

442
00:37:04,563 --> 00:37:04,923
Right?

443
00:37:04,923 --> 00:37:08,025
Because I haven't been on active duty my whole adult life.

444
00:37:10,122 --> 00:37:16,172
And so for those that like, don't have that, like they need that.

445
00:37:16,172 --> 00:37:22,681
And so one of my little passions here is definitely trying to figure out how to help in
that, in that realm.

446
00:37:27,540 --> 00:37:35,322
I'll just say that this concept of mission is huge, I think, for veterans.

447
00:37:35,322 --> 00:37:39,163
when you leave the service, it doesn't stop.

448
00:37:39,303 --> 00:37:51,707
And I think there's a search for that in civilian life to have that mission, to have
benefit to society, and to provide that kind of contribution in a meaningful manner.

449
00:37:51,707 --> 00:37:55,750
So I would almost argue that that is not unique to.

450
00:37:55,750 --> 00:37:57,164
the gentleman that you're talking about.

451
00:37:57,164 --> 00:38:04,163
It's something that think is widespread amongst anybody who leaves the service

452
00:38:04,236 --> 00:38:12,904
Well, and I would argue, think it is, if we, if we go look at like, why do so many folks
have imposter syndrome?

453
00:38:12,904 --> 00:38:15,916
Why do so many folks feel disengaged at work?

454
00:38:16,217 --> 00:38:19,098
I truly think it comes back to this.

455
00:38:19,259 --> 00:38:21,000
Are they on a mission?

456
00:38:21,301 --> 00:38:23,242
I don't really care what it is.

457
00:38:24,404 --> 00:38:24,884
Right.

458
00:38:24,884 --> 00:38:27,476
It might not be the thing you do for work.

459
00:38:27,476 --> 00:38:30,037
It might be the side thing that you do, right?

460
00:38:30,037 --> 00:38:32,127
It might be coaching little league.

461
00:38:32,127 --> 00:38:48,972
might be like, doesn't matter, but I think for all of us to be happy, if we don't have
some sort of, of mission or understand our own driving force, is easy to get sucked into

462
00:38:49,532 --> 00:38:55,674
all of the negative stories to get sucked into the social media culture that like,

463
00:38:56,204 --> 00:38:59,899
keeping up with the Joneses type culture.

464
00:39:00,361 --> 00:39:03,415
And I think that's really a scary thing.

465
00:39:03,415 --> 00:39:11,858
And so as a dad, it's like, how at an early age do you teach that so that it doesn't
happen?

466
00:39:16,420 --> 00:39:17,710
I don't have the answers.

467
00:39:17,710 --> 00:39:24,673
I'll tell you that, you know, as part of my day -to -day work, I engage with social media.

468
00:39:24,673 --> 00:39:27,163
It's hard not to get sucked into it.

469
00:39:27,163 --> 00:39:31,945
I find myself, you know, publishing the marketing stuff and then flickering through it.

470
00:39:31,945 --> 00:39:33,315
I'm like, what just happened?

471
00:39:33,315 --> 00:39:36,566
Like this cloud, you know?

472
00:39:36,566 --> 00:39:38,767
And then I have three kids like yourself.

473
00:39:38,767 --> 00:39:39,657
You have kids as well.

474
00:39:39,657 --> 00:39:41,848
And how do you show them the...

475
00:39:41,848 --> 00:39:42,688
And then

476
00:39:42,950 --> 00:39:51,591
see me on doing this garbage and I'm like daddy what are you doing and I'm ashamed to say
so my answer is like I'm just this is just wasting my time.

477
00:39:51,666 --> 00:39:53,306
So, so it's funny.

478
00:39:53,306 --> 00:39:57,046
My kids are, my daughter will be 15 soon.

479
00:39:57,046 --> 00:39:59,866
My son will be 11 next week.

480
00:39:59,866 --> 00:40:00,536
Right.

481
00:40:00,536 --> 00:40:04,406
And so they've grown up with all this stuff.

482
00:40:04,446 --> 00:40:09,366
They've w because of COVID they watched me work for years.

483
00:40:09,366 --> 00:40:09,716
Right.

484
00:40:09,716 --> 00:40:15,336
So I'm in, I'm, I'm like in the first floor of my house, the kitchen's right there.

485
00:40:15,336 --> 00:40:16,926
The staircase is there.

486
00:40:16,926 --> 00:40:19,866
Like they hear all the stuff.

487
00:40:20,436 --> 00:40:33,175
And so recently, and I mean, recently, as in like last week, I started, I started Tik TOK
and it was something I know it was something I didn't want to do, but I had a really close

488
00:40:33,175 --> 00:40:44,643
friend who's a CMO who said to me, she's like, Chris, if you need to grow your brand, like
you have a, you have a pretty decent following on LinkedIn, but it's all about this and

489
00:40:44,643 --> 00:40:46,744
it's all this type of people.

490
00:40:47,085 --> 00:40:49,026
You need to go places where.

491
00:40:49,142 --> 00:40:51,783
these tech CEO, these other folks are.

492
00:40:52,104 --> 00:40:57,037
So I started and my kids think it's hilarious because of course they do TikTok, right?

493
00:40:57,037 --> 00:41:00,470
But so I think it's hilarious watching dad do TikTok.

494
00:41:00,470 --> 00:41:03,151
But the thing is, is that I'm getting sucked in.

495
00:41:03,151 --> 00:41:06,593
I'm not interacting with it a ton.

496
00:41:06,734 --> 00:41:13,478
But after I post something and I try to post every day, I am drawn to looking at how it's
performing.

497
00:41:14,494 --> 00:41:20,876
And a little piece of me dies every time I go to check how many views, right?

498
00:41:21,916 --> 00:41:27,327
But I think openly talking about it is the way that I approach it with them.

499
00:41:27,327 --> 00:41:32,259
like, Hey, listen, dad does not doom scroll all night.

500
00:41:32,719 --> 00:41:33,069
Right?

501
00:41:33,069 --> 00:41:43,342
Like, like, and I'm not saying that that's a bad thing if that's how you wind down, but
holy smokes, if that's all you do, you're probably going to get sucked into it faster.

502
00:41:43,342 --> 00:41:44,122
So

503
00:41:44,886 --> 00:41:50,327
You know, we have conversations about how much time we should spend on social media.

504
00:41:50,608 --> 00:41:58,880
And I try to show them, like, that I pick up books and read books and not use my phone all
the time, right?

505
00:41:58,880 --> 00:42:00,880
And so that's the key.

506
00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:06,492
But, you know, it's so part of our culture today.

507
00:42:07,053 --> 00:42:11,154
And if you think, when we were teenagers and in our early 20s,

508
00:42:12,276 --> 00:42:17,092
It had just started, but it was not, I mean, we didn't have the iPhone, right?

509
00:42:17,092 --> 00:42:21,237
I had a flip phone in college, right?

510
00:42:21,237 --> 00:42:23,851
And, and today just life is different.

511
00:42:23,851 --> 00:42:25,523
And I don't think it's, it's worse.

512
00:42:25,523 --> 00:42:28,325
It's just, got to openly address that stuff.

513
00:42:28,808 --> 00:42:34,530
And back in the day, was what was an ICQ and there were the chat rooms before.

514
00:42:34,530 --> 00:42:41,872
And this whole concept of being able to talk to people from anywhere around the world was
just chat at that day.

515
00:42:42,253 --> 00:42:43,123
That was incredible.

516
00:42:43,123 --> 00:42:46,734
We used to spend hours just talking to people.

517
00:42:46,794 --> 00:42:51,436
But that was the, you know, that was back in the day, you know, scrolling version of it.

518
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:53,272
But it was useless, right?

519
00:42:53,272 --> 00:42:57,507
There wasn't real relationships that you made with people that you knew or met or
anything.

520
00:42:57,507 --> 00:42:59,960
And if anything, there was an element of danger to it, right?

521
00:42:59,960 --> 00:43:03,105
We were young, you know, meeting people we didn't know who they were.

522
00:43:03,105 --> 00:43:07,429
So, you know, we had our version of it, right?

523
00:43:07,429 --> 00:43:11,151
yeah, now it's this new version, but like, here's, here's the reality.

524
00:43:11,592 --> 00:43:12,732
Wow.

525
00:43:13,514 --> 00:43:15,715
Anything can be harmful to us.

526
00:43:15,715 --> 00:43:16,666
It can also be helpful.

527
00:43:16,666 --> 00:43:21,339
So we would have never met if not for social media.

528
00:43:21,880 --> 00:43:22,740
Right.

529
00:43:22,740 --> 00:43:30,526
And there's tons of clients I have that I never would have met if it wasn't for the
internet market, like all these different things.

530
00:43:30,836 --> 00:43:38,783
I think that's such a huge takeaway because you can take a hammer, you can smash somebody
in the head, you can take a hammer, you can build a house.

531
00:43:38,783 --> 00:43:39,964
Is the hammer good?

532
00:43:39,964 --> 00:43:41,145
Is the hammer evil?

533
00:43:41,145 --> 00:43:42,846
No, it's a tool.

534
00:43:42,947 --> 00:43:48,622
The person who makes the hammer good or evil is the user and how they use it and how to
what end.

535
00:43:48,622 --> 00:43:50,974
And that's what I try to teach my kids.

536
00:43:50,974 --> 00:43:53,135
But I got to tell you, it doesn't feel good.

537
00:43:53,957 --> 00:43:57,824
I post the TikToks and then I'm scrolling and I'm like, what am I doing?

538
00:43:57,824 --> 00:43:58,444
Right.

539
00:43:58,444 --> 00:44:00,805
cause it's so addictive.

540
00:44:00,986 --> 00:44:01,666
Right.

541
00:44:01,666 --> 00:44:07,209
But I think the same thing applies to the next big thing that's out there, which is
artificial intelligence.

542
00:44:07,309 --> 00:44:08,770
So I've been speaking.

543
00:44:08,770 --> 00:44:11,331
so is, is this story continues, right?

544
00:44:11,331 --> 00:44:22,157
Like I became a speaker for Vistage and the topic I've been speaking on the most right now
is how do you bring artificial intelligence into organizations?

545
00:44:23,098 --> 00:44:23,918
And.

546
00:44:24,256 --> 00:44:32,453
You know, you'd be surprised at where people at around the spectrum, but the idea, the
thing that sticks to me is my daughter thinks it's cheating.

547
00:44:33,094 --> 00:44:34,815
My son thinks it's great.

548
00:44:36,117 --> 00:44:39,059
And exactly.

549
00:44:39,340 --> 00:44:45,065
And so it becomes, well, do we, know, in your hammer analogy, it's like, think about the
calculator.

550
00:44:45,886 --> 00:44:50,550
Like, I sort of remember how to do long division.

551
00:44:51,052 --> 00:44:56,505
But do you think I'm writing out long division when I can pull out my phone and just have
a calculator right here?

552
00:44:56,505 --> 00:44:58,145
Of course I've got a calculator.

553
00:44:59,226 --> 00:45:14,454
So, so it's how do we leverage the new parts of technology for good and to, to, to, to
move forward while not having it suck us back.

554
00:45:16,764 --> 00:45:27,313
I, you you, you, didn't say it, but I, but what I read between the lines when you were
talking before, it's really about values, right?

555
00:45:27,313 --> 00:45:37,271
The mission is not only about doing something that you're into, but it's about living by a
set of values that you believe in that is driving you, that you're doing something which

556
00:45:37,271 --> 00:45:41,404
is meaningful, which is part of your mission, right?

557
00:45:41,404 --> 00:45:46,024
And then when we come back to social media and this idea of tools,

558
00:45:46,024 --> 00:45:47,465
It's the same thing.

559
00:45:47,465 --> 00:45:51,248
It's this idea of how are you using the tool to what end?

560
00:45:51,248 --> 00:45:52,559
And I'll make an argument.

561
00:45:52,559 --> 00:46:04,318
If you put in the social media, write an article about this in the voice of this, and use
this data, that to me is plagiarism.

562
00:46:04,318 --> 00:46:08,782
Now, maybe not legally, maybe not, but to me that's plagiarism.

563
00:46:08,782 --> 00:46:10,443
It's cheating, right?

564
00:46:10,463 --> 00:46:11,784
If you write

565
00:46:12,180 --> 00:46:17,104
you know, a whole page of your brain dump of everything you think on a subject.

566
00:46:17,104 --> 00:46:25,390
And then you say, rewrite that for grammar and structure and flow and make sure it has a,
you know, story arc.

567
00:46:25,991 --> 00:46:26,741
That's not cheating.

568
00:46:26,741 --> 00:46:27,612
That's you.

569
00:46:27,612 --> 00:46:33,757
You've basically used AI as a ghostwriter or, you know, somebody to help you restructure
your words, but it's you.

570
00:46:33,757 --> 00:46:35,038
You are coming out in that.

571
00:46:35,038 --> 00:46:38,211
So to me, that's the hammer building house.

572
00:46:38,211 --> 00:46:38,871
Yeah.

573
00:46:38,871 --> 00:46:44,115
So I look at it, you know, to put a nail on it, I look at it as an intern.

574
00:46:44,396 --> 00:46:53,613
It's like the smartest, best intern you're ever going to have, but you would never publish
something that an intern wrote without reviewing it, changing it, tweaking it, adding your

575
00:46:53,613 --> 00:46:54,444
stuff.

576
00:46:54,544 --> 00:47:02,011
To me, that's the part, the way that you described using AI in the brain dump, everything
that's me.

577
00:47:02,011 --> 00:47:06,614
I hit the, I talked to chat GPT from here.

578
00:47:06,626 --> 00:47:14,406
I ramble for 10 minutes and I say, no, go take that, put it in this framework, use this,
do that.

579
00:47:14,766 --> 00:47:16,466
And I've trained it how to write like me.

580
00:47:16,466 --> 00:47:18,786
And then I go rewrite the whole thing.

581
00:47:19,046 --> 00:47:19,926
Right.

582
00:47:19,926 --> 00:47:24,426
But it, but it sped up my process 10, right?

583
00:47:24,426 --> 00:47:25,166
10th.

584
00:47:25,166 --> 00:47:30,056
And so I think with all the stuff that we're talking about,

585
00:47:31,326 --> 00:47:34,578
If I was like, for me, the thing I wanted was spouse.

586
00:47:34,578 --> 00:47:49,577
And I think the thing that's brought me, you know, success is the idea of always trying to
be better every day and, having this natural instinct to have, you know, disciplined

587
00:47:49,577 --> 00:47:56,201
initiative to do it, but also be doing it for the betterment of others.

588
00:47:56,541 --> 00:47:56,951
Right.

589
00:47:56,951 --> 00:47:57,822
So

590
00:47:59,240 --> 00:48:04,141
Is there always going to be some self benefit from landing a new client doing a new thing?

591
00:48:04,141 --> 00:48:05,812
Of course there is.

592
00:48:07,432 --> 00:48:17,545
But what I found, especially coaching organizations and just even being self -reflective
is when I act in my own best interest, not the person that I'm working with, it doesn't go

593
00:48:17,545 --> 00:48:18,355
well.

594
00:48:19,056 --> 00:48:27,698
When I act in my, the other party's best interest, that is when I get there.

595
00:48:28,545 --> 00:48:29,486
That's it.

596
00:48:29,486 --> 00:48:33,140
mean, he is the father of how to make friends influence people, right?

597
00:48:33,140 --> 00:48:34,091
Dale Carnegie.

598
00:48:34,091 --> 00:48:35,323
Don't think about yourself.

599
00:48:35,323 --> 00:48:39,588
Think about your client, your customer, your spouse, your son, whoever.

600
00:48:39,588 --> 00:48:41,069
Put yourself in their shoes.

601
00:48:41,069 --> 00:48:43,162
I mean, it's so fundamental, right?

602
00:48:43,162 --> 00:48:44,694
That's such important advice.

603
00:48:44,694 --> 00:48:48,684
And I'm shocked to see how much we don't do that in day to day.

604
00:48:48,684 --> 00:48:55,938
when you watch leadership team meetings, when you watch one -on -ones, when you watch
sales calls, well, that's it.

605
00:48:55,938 --> 00:49:03,001
And so, so now the coaching that I'm doing right in my company, the question first group
is helping people.

606
00:49:03,262 --> 00:49:11,346
You know, we have, we have a framework in a box, but it's if we're benefiting the person
we're talking to, they are the beneficiary.

607
00:49:11,786 --> 00:49:21,934
Yes, we want to ask more questions so that they get to self -discovery, but it's also okay
if we fall into this instructor role sometimes as long as we're up here.

608
00:49:22,355 --> 00:49:27,459
The second that it's about us, our communication fails.

609
00:49:27,479 --> 00:49:31,762
People might just be compliant, but they're not going to be committed.

610
00:49:31,923 --> 00:49:33,564
Nobody develops.

611
00:49:33,885 --> 00:49:40,800
And you just don't have these real relationships that

612
00:49:40,800 --> 00:49:46,798
make business and life fun and worth doing, right?

613
00:49:47,680 --> 00:49:50,482
There's so much to be said about this idea.

614
00:49:50,482 --> 00:49:52,885
And this is the name of the business, right?

615
00:49:52,885 --> 00:49:54,305
Question first.

616
00:49:54,386 --> 00:50:01,752
But there's so much in that name because this concept of jumping to solutions.

617
00:50:01,752 --> 00:50:03,053
I know what you need.

618
00:50:03,053 --> 00:50:04,615
Hold on, do you know me?

619
00:50:04,615 --> 00:50:05,546
Do you know my problems?

620
00:50:05,546 --> 00:50:06,336
Do you know what I'm doing?

621
00:50:06,336 --> 00:50:07,357
Like, how do you know?

622
00:50:07,357 --> 00:50:09,749
No, you know what you want to give me.

623
00:50:09,749 --> 00:50:11,561
That's what you know, right?

624
00:50:11,561 --> 00:50:12,862
That's the dynamic.

625
00:50:12,862 --> 00:50:13,563
And we see this.

626
00:50:13,563 --> 00:50:15,654
People jump onto a sales meeting.

627
00:50:15,869 --> 00:50:19,333
And they're like, I'm going to ask a few discovery questions.

628
00:50:19,956 --> 00:50:23,482
But they're just doing it because they have to.

629
00:50:23,482 --> 00:50:25,664
And then they're telling me what I need.

630
00:50:26,106 --> 00:50:28,931
And if it's outside of their spectrum, what are they going to do?

631
00:50:28,931 --> 00:50:29,642
It's like.

632
00:50:29,642 --> 00:50:36,025
well, and here's, here's the thing and go back and think about the last sales call you
run.

633
00:50:37,185 --> 00:50:46,169
My gut tells me from, from, from watching hundreds, if not thousands of sales calls in the
last two years, they asked you a question.

634
00:50:46,169 --> 00:50:58,274
You gave an answer that should have had two to five follow -up questions to fully
understand, but they moved on immediately.

635
00:50:59,222 --> 00:51:06,465
That is the number one way salespeople break trust or show buyers that they are just there
for them.

636
00:51:06,465 --> 00:51:09,166
I'm trying to make a sale, not trying to help you.

637
00:51:09,766 --> 00:51:12,548
And I equate this, but I talked to folks.

638
00:51:12,548 --> 00:51:14,368
I think you'll appreciate this.

639
00:51:14,628 --> 00:51:19,670
I say asking questions and especially digging deeper and following up.

640
00:51:19,670 --> 00:51:24,112
That is your communicators version of reconnaissance.

641
00:51:24,853 --> 00:51:27,034
We, I hear an answer.

642
00:51:27,034 --> 00:51:28,434
have assumptions.

643
00:51:28,736 --> 00:51:32,287
My job is to now confirm or deny set assumptions.

644
00:51:33,088 --> 00:51:44,392
And so when I was an army officer, when we're planning an attack, every echelon of the,
the organization had reconnaissance happen somewhere throughout the planning process.

645
00:51:44,392 --> 00:51:53,976
So at the division and above level, you're talking satellites and planes and all this
stuff down to an infantry company or an infantry platoon, you have two paratroopers

646
00:51:53,976 --> 00:51:58,258
crawling up to the objective going, okay, yep, there's bad guys there.

647
00:51:59,606 --> 00:52:02,934
That is questions for us as business folks.

648
00:52:04,219 --> 00:52:08,507
Because when we don't ask those questions, we, you know.

649
00:52:08,507 --> 00:52:09,317
right?

650
00:52:09,438 --> 00:52:12,118
We're trained as salespeople to murr.

651
00:52:12,579 --> 00:52:15,330
We're trained as salespeople to the yes and.

652
00:52:15,330 --> 00:52:17,521
We're trained to be positive.

653
00:52:17,701 --> 00:52:25,625
And I think a lot of salespeople don't appreciate the art of not arguing, but conflicting
the customer in a very subtle way.

654
00:52:26,085 --> 00:52:27,226
Hold on.

655
00:52:27,226 --> 00:52:31,447
You told me that XYZ, but how does that make sense with Y?

656
00:52:31,488 --> 00:52:32,180
Exactly.

657
00:52:32,180 --> 00:52:41,569
The art of doing that, shows that you have a deep understanding of their business and
something in what they said made you curious and you want to learn, you want to

658
00:52:41,569 --> 00:52:44,191
understand, you want to understand the dynamic of their business.

659
00:52:44,191 --> 00:52:45,512
That's not a bad

660
00:52:45,814 --> 00:52:46,574
Right?

661
00:52:46,574 --> 00:52:51,276
No, that's, I mean, there's a whole book on what you just said, right?

662
00:52:51,276 --> 00:52:55,098
Like the Challenger sale is, it's a great book for a reason.

663
00:52:55,498 --> 00:53:06,262
But the idea is if you're really there to help folks, when they say things that make you
go, huh, you're going to ask them what they meant.

664
00:53:06,943 --> 00:53:14,154
And if you're really good and you're really there to be helpful, you're going to tell
people that they're not a fit when they're not a fit.

665
00:53:14,154 --> 00:53:14,926
Yes.

666
00:53:15,722 --> 00:53:20,877
And those are the sales guys and gals that win over and over and over again.

667
00:53:20,877 --> 00:53:26,011
And it goes back to, they're actually trying to help you.

668
00:53:26,352 --> 00:53:27,703
Now, do they want to make a lot of money?

669
00:53:27,703 --> 00:53:28,893
Sure.

670
00:53:29,775 --> 00:53:39,563
But the person that's only motivated by making a lot of money doesn't make any money
because they don't close anything because it's so easy to see.

671
00:53:39,988 --> 00:53:41,659
Yeah, and that's not trivial, right?

672
00:53:41,659 --> 00:53:44,750
That whole concept of rejecting the customer.

673
00:53:44,750 --> 00:53:49,032
But that's so important because if they're truly not a fit, they're not going to be happy.

674
00:53:49,032 --> 00:53:50,573
They're not going to refer you.

675
00:53:50,573 --> 00:53:55,555
They're going to be your maybe not you're not even going to be profitable from an
organization standpoint.

676
00:53:55,555 --> 00:53:59,577
And if you're unlucky, they might claw back your profits right from that.

677
00:53:59,577 --> 00:54:06,700
So and then there's also this weird thing that people kind of when you say to a person,
well, if you're not this and this and

678
00:54:06,760 --> 00:54:10,631
might not make sense, kind of want to, it makes them want it even more, right?

679
00:54:10,631 --> 00:54:13,592
But that we're in real communication.

680
00:54:13,993 --> 00:54:19,898
We are not in the scoping questionnaire, just answering things.

681
00:54:19,898 --> 00:54:27,825
are actually having a human to human interaction where information is being shared and
listened to.

682
00:54:27,825 --> 00:54:30,206
And that's the key is you got to actually listen.

683
00:54:30,907 --> 00:54:39,694
And so when I, when I work with these folks, it's always talking about, can't be thinking
about your next question.

684
00:54:39,752 --> 00:54:41,515
No, you're not listening.

685
00:54:41,515 --> 00:54:51,131
If you're doing that, like everybody who's listening should know that if you are thinking
about your next question before the person has finished talking, you are not listening.

686
00:54:51,131 --> 00:54:51,951
Full

687
00:54:52,163 --> 00:54:53,183
Exactly.

688
00:54:54,344 --> 00:55:08,188
And then if you're not willing to ask a question and sit there and wait for an answer,
you're not going to win either because again, like we have to get comfortable in the

689
00:55:08,188 --> 00:55:09,388
uncomfortable.

690
00:55:09,988 --> 00:55:15,050
And so, so often we don't want to do that.

691
00:55:15,370 --> 00:55:15,780
And

692
00:55:15,780 --> 00:55:23,162
And people know, right, if you're not commenting on what I just said, then you can feel
it.

693
00:55:23,283 --> 00:55:28,904
So you're not building the trust that you need in order to get where you're going, right?

694
00:55:28,904 --> 00:55:38,438
It's closing the deal, building that trust that, yes, I said something, what I said was
truly listened to, and the response was truly appropriate to what I said.

695
00:55:38,438 --> 00:55:40,008
That builds trust.

696
00:55:40,870 --> 00:55:41,650
Right.

697
00:55:41,650 --> 00:55:49,252
And the funniest thing is that the key to it in my perspective is asking great follow -up
questions.

698
00:55:49,753 --> 00:55:59,195
Because when we do that, that shows that curiosity, that shows our deep desire to actually
help you.

699
00:55:59,495 --> 00:56:03,337
And at a certain point in time, we're going to switch off and go, okay, great.

700
00:56:03,337 --> 00:56:08,758
Based on that, here's what we should do or here's like,

701
00:56:09,814 --> 00:56:12,575
But, but we have to be curious.

702
00:56:12,815 --> 00:56:15,195
We have to be others focused.

703
00:56:15,476 --> 00:56:22,257
And, and, know, I think that applies a ton to sales, but it applies to leadership, applies
to parenting, right.

704
00:56:22,958 --> 00:56:28,619
And how we get into those right moments to do it.

705
00:56:28,619 --> 00:56:37,342
Like, I know there are moments when I shouldn't answer a question from a child of mine or
from my partner or from.

706
00:56:37,984 --> 00:56:43,220
You know, my boss, like there's moments when it's answering is not smart.

707
00:56:43,220 --> 00:56:43,783
Right.

708
00:56:43,783 --> 00:56:47,848
Or do you mean answering or do you mean solving?

709
00:56:47,848 --> 00:56:50,340
I mean both, right?

710
00:56:50,340 --> 00:56:58,428
So, so solving at times, but there's also because of everything today, well you just
texted me.

711
00:56:58,428 --> 00:56:59,749
So where's my answer?

712
00:56:59,749 --> 00:57:09,737
Well, I mean, just because it's convenient for you and you want this information, like I
know that if I'm at a heightened level

713
00:57:11,114 --> 00:57:19,541
work stuff going on or stress, or I've been in too many of this type of meeting versus
that type of meeting, my energy level might be down.

714
00:57:20,122 --> 00:57:22,883
That's not a good time for me to make decisions.

715
00:57:24,245 --> 00:57:38,647
And so, so this, I think it, you know, we could talk for three more hours about all this
stuff, but it's like this idea of self -awareness, communication, and showing up for

716
00:57:38,647 --> 00:57:39,598
others.

717
00:57:39,892 --> 00:57:47,587
that enables and empowers us to like really go get after it every day.

718
00:57:48,088 --> 00:58:07,151
And those are the moments from, from whether it was army officer version of me to, this,
to dadvert, to whatever, going up for others on a mission to like those things bring

719
00:58:07,151 --> 00:58:08,142
energy.

720
00:58:09,324 --> 00:58:12,918
things that don't support that take energy away.

721
00:58:13,721 --> 00:58:16,234
And so I try to practice this simple thing.

722
00:58:16,234 --> 00:58:24,015
I'm sure you do the same as I try to put a whole lot more of things that bring energy into
my life than things that take away energy.

723
00:58:25,337 --> 00:58:26,088
So.

724
00:58:27,914 --> 00:58:30,409
Chris, what an absolute pleasure.

725
00:58:30,409 --> 00:58:32,192
We are so over time.

726
00:58:32,192 --> 00:58:33,955
I've just had so much fun talking to you.

727
00:58:33,955 --> 00:58:36,078
That's a good thing, by the way.

728
00:58:38,612 --> 00:58:41,454
I'm going to ask you the question I always ask at the end of these.

729
00:58:41,915 --> 00:58:49,501
Now, clearly, your journey has been incredibly successful due to you actively listening.

730
00:58:49,501 --> 00:58:53,354
And you shared at the beginning that this isn't necessarily an easy skill for you.

731
00:58:53,354 --> 00:58:57,008
You have techniques and tools to be a better listener.

732
00:58:57,008 --> 00:59:00,590
And then that self -awareness has just accelerated your career.

733
00:59:01,371 --> 00:59:07,236
If you had to give one piece of advice to our younger audience,

734
00:59:07,434 --> 00:59:14,488
coming into the work environment and asking themselves what to do to be successful.

735
00:59:14,488 --> 00:59:21,202
Beyond working hard, beyond listening, beyond everything that we've done today, what
additional piece of advice would you give them?

736
00:59:23,778 --> 00:59:30,158
something not work related that you love, always be a part of your life.

737
00:59:30,958 --> 00:59:34,818
So for me, and I learned that I learned this the hard way.

738
00:59:35,038 --> 00:59:40,738
But during COVID, I started playing instruments and I played when I was like a kid, I
played piano and trumpet.

739
00:59:40,758 --> 00:59:44,458
But I bought a ukulele the first year of COVID, then I bought a guitar.

740
00:59:44,998 --> 00:59:50,078
Now I have a room with yeah, well, I got a room with 13 guitars.

741
00:59:50,826 --> 00:59:54,007
I converted my dining room into my band's jam session.

742
00:59:54,007 --> 00:59:58,129
created a band and I played bass guitar and mega guitar.

743
00:59:59,410 --> 01:00:03,871
And I'm disciplined about turning off from work and going and having some fun.

744
01:00:04,512 --> 01:00:09,224
And the craziest thing is writing a song or playing a song.

745
01:00:09,224 --> 01:00:18,398
I will figure out whatever the thing that I was stuck on was because that's an activity
that still makes your brain work.

746
01:00:20,022 --> 01:00:25,466
But subconsciously, so you're having fun, you're getting filled and you're solving things,
right?

747
01:00:25,466 --> 01:00:36,053
So have something like that pottery art, coaching a sport, playing a sport exercise, like
whatever it is for you.

748
01:00:36,353 --> 01:00:42,758
Don't think that being a professional and getting there means that you should do nothing
but work.

749
01:00:42,758 --> 01:00:49,221
Cause that is the fastest way to gray hair, to no hair, to.

750
01:00:49,834 --> 01:00:51,835
like just being unhappy.

751
01:00:52,116 --> 01:01:02,905
And the second that we're unhappy, Aria, I feel like we get sucked into the negative
stories and it's just not a good look and it doesn't help us.

752
01:01:04,544 --> 01:01:06,907
Chris Dupre, what an absolute pleasure.

753
01:01:06,907 --> 01:01:08,568
Thank you for being on the show today.

754
01:01:08,568 --> 01:01:12,623
I truly enjoyed this and I sincerely say we will need to have you back again.

755
01:01:12,623 --> 01:01:15,039
I appreciate you.

756
01:01:15,039 --> 01:01:15,601
Yeah.

757
01:01:15,601 --> 01:01:16,783
Thanks so much.