WEBVTT NOTE This file was generated by Descript 00:00:05.000 --> 00:00:06.350 / Matt: Is this episode three? 00:00:06.597 --> 00:00:07.627 Alison: Episode three. 00:00:07.627 --> 00:00:10.617 Are you ready to record a podcast with me today? 00:00:10.980 --> 00:00:13.230 Matt: Let's record a podcast with you. 00:00:14.200 --> 00:00:14.620 Alison: Yay. 00:00:15.960 --> 00:00:17.310 Matt: Hashtag podcast. 00:00:17.700 --> 00:00:19.550 Hashtag blessed podcast. 00:00:20.215 --> 00:00:21.842 Alison: Not, not our podcast. 00:00:21.962 --> 00:00:23.012 Hashtag cursed. 00:00:23.977 --> 00:00:25.747 Matt: Oh, no. 00:00:25.957 --> 00:00:27.177 Alison: .Oh no. 00:00:27.177 --> 00:00:29.557 Matt: Eyeball spinning. 00:00:29.793 --> 00:00:31.013 I'm in a weird mood today. 00:00:31.043 --> 00:00:32.033 Just warning you. 00:00:32.078 --> 00:00:32.708 Alison: We are. 00:00:33.423 --> 00:00:34.153 Matt: Yeah, it's been a weird week. 00:00:34.153 --> 00:00:39.388 But I'm very excited about today's podcast, of ADHD20, which is a podcast 00:00:39.388 --> 00:00:44.638 that tries to find the intersection between ADHD and role playing 00:00:44.638 --> 00:00:47.842 games, oftentimes, D&D, but what? 00:00:48.162 --> 00:00:48.962 Alison: Mostly D&D. 00:00:49.012 --> 00:00:49.712 Matt: Mostly D&D. 00:00:49.732 --> 00:00:50.002 Yeah. 00:00:50.182 --> 00:00:50.452 Yeah. 00:00:50.452 --> 00:00:50.812 I'm not a, 00:00:50.812 --> 00:00:51.592 Alison: Here's the thing. 00:00:51.658 --> 00:00:56.908 We want to open the umbrella to incorporate other RPGs, 00:00:57.028 --> 00:00:57.838 Matt: Mm-hmm. 00:00:58.228 --> 00:01:03.448 Alison: But you have someone here who is severely anxious about new things. 00:01:03.702 --> 00:01:04.652 Matt: Right, I know, 00:01:05.064 --> 00:01:05.694 Alison: We'll get there. 00:01:05.724 --> 00:01:06.504 I have faith in us. 00:01:06.594 --> 00:01:07.434 I am excited about it. 00:01:07.434 --> 00:01:08.124 It's just a lot. 00:01:08.124 --> 00:01:11.334 You know, we, we did take some time to take a look at 00:01:11.334 --> 00:01:13.434 Pathfinder out of curiosity. 00:01:13.704 --> 00:01:14.194 Matt: Yeah. 00:01:14.874 --> 00:01:16.284 Alison: Enjoyed that time we spent it. 00:01:16.284 --> 00:01:20.664 Just, it's so comfortable to know what I'm doing, 00:01:20.784 --> 00:01:21.394 Matt: Mm-hmm. 00:01:22.524 --> 00:01:26.754 Alison: And so the thought of not knowing what I'm doing again, well, 00:01:26.964 --> 00:01:29.604 it triggers a little bit of what we're gonna talk about today, Matt. 00:01:29.964 --> 00:01:32.934 Matt: I was gonna say, it kind of kind of goes along the lines of what 00:01:32.934 --> 00:01:35.064 we, uh, have on the books today. 00:01:35.434 --> 00:01:39.274 Alison: Well, but first I need to hear those two little words that you 00:01:39.274 --> 00:01:41.254 like to give us to kick off podcasts. 00:01:41.346 --> 00:01:42.036 Matt: Hi, Alison. 00:01:42.336 --> 00:01:42.846 Alison: There it is. 00:01:43.656 --> 00:01:47.036 And I guess we should probably roll a couple of d100s. 00:01:47.166 --> 00:01:47.516 Matt: s Sss! 00:01:47.536 --> 00:01:48.456 Oh yes. 00:01:48.456 --> 00:01:49.191 Oh my gosh. 00:01:49.417 --> 00:01:50.557 Alison: Let's, let's roll. 00:01:51.787 --> 00:01:52.627 All right. 00:01:54.337 --> 00:01:56.407 Would you like to go first or would you like for me to? 00:01:56.947 --> 00:01:57.697 Matt: I'll go first. 00:01:57.697 --> 00:01:58.357 Why not? 00:01:58.597 --> 00:01:59.167 Uh, 00:01:59.382 --> 00:01:59.527 Alison: right. 00:01:59.974 --> 00:02:00.724 Matt: I rolled an eight. 00:02:01.814 --> 00:02:02.304 Alison: Okay. 00:02:02.404 --> 00:02:04.834 You and I rolled numbers right on top of each other this week. 00:02:04.894 --> 00:02:05.914 That's fun. 00:02:05.914 --> 00:02:06.274 Matt: Whoa. 00:02:07.204 --> 00:02:08.644 Alison: I love this question for you. 00:02:09.229 --> 00:02:11.969 What's something you are truly terrible at? 00:02:15.094 --> 00:02:15.754 Matt: Wow. 00:02:16.114 --> 00:02:17.074 That's amazing. 00:02:17.074 --> 00:02:18.274 We haven't gotten this one yet. 00:02:18.294 --> 00:02:18.574 How? 00:02:18.971 --> 00:02:20.711 What's something you're truly terrible at? 00:02:22.177 --> 00:02:27.997 So the 2023, uh, answer is not gonna start with so many things, right? 00:02:28.327 --> 00:02:28.957 That's not true. 00:02:29.527 --> 00:02:31.597 Um, what am I truly terrible at? 00:02:32.253 --> 00:02:35.893 I am not good. 00:02:37.663 --> 00:02:39.943 Well, I'm even getting, I'm getting better at saying no. 00:02:39.973 --> 00:02:40.873 So that's one thing. 00:02:41.413 --> 00:02:41.803 Okay. 00:02:41.833 --> 00:02:42.103 Okay. 00:02:42.253 --> 00:02:42.553 Okay. 00:02:42.763 --> 00:02:47.506 I am truly terrible at sports, and exercise, to be honest. 00:02:47.506 --> 00:02:49.606 Uh, it's not, it's not so much. 00:02:49.873 --> 00:02:53.313 I actually kind of have pretty decent hand eye coordination, 00:02:53.883 --> 00:02:57.183 but man, I am not good at sports. 00:02:57.283 --> 00:03:02.860 That's why part of this podcast exists is that I channeled all of that, energy, and 00:03:02.860 --> 00:03:06.520 I, I'm a little bit regretful for, uh, of it a little bit, that if there's one thing 00:03:06.520 --> 00:03:11.126 that I kind of wish my parents had done, they encouraged everything about my life, 00:03:11.131 --> 00:03:18.896 that artistic side, the creative side, the, imagineering , the, the dreaming. 00:03:18.896 --> 00:03:22.886 They really, you know, they said I could be anything I wanted, but I do kind of 00:03:22.886 --> 00:03:28.453 wish that they had said, try a sport because I have such a weird relationship 00:03:28.453 --> 00:03:34.193 with exercise it's just not something I, I just don't have like a background of fun. 00:03:34.198 --> 00:03:36.593 I don't have positive history with it. 00:03:36.893 --> 00:03:38.693 So is that fair to say? 00:03:38.698 --> 00:03:40.193 That's what I'm truly terrible at. 00:03:40.758 --> 00:03:43.278 Alison: It's funny that you say that because I'd like to 00:03:43.278 --> 00:03:44.628 tell a quick little story. 00:03:44.633 --> 00:03:49.788 You and I and our friend Fitz went to There it is. 00:03:51.753 --> 00:03:54.753 Uh, went axe throwing together a few months ago. 00:03:55.383 --> 00:03:59.223 Fitz and I have both gone axe throwing multiple times each. 00:03:59.313 --> 00:04:03.633 Fitz was even in an axe throwing league and the guy who's like teaching us how 00:04:03.633 --> 00:04:06.363 to do it, you know, they always have somebody come out and show you the ropes 00:04:06.368 --> 00:04:07.923 before they, you know, unleash you. 00:04:08.343 --> 00:04:10.473 Fitz and I are throwing and throwing and we're just not hitting 00:04:10.473 --> 00:04:11.613 the board over and over again. 00:04:12.423 --> 00:04:17.643 Matt picks up an axe and on the first throw: bullseye and then 00:04:17.643 --> 00:04:19.053 we're all like beginner's luck. 00:04:19.053 --> 00:04:21.723 And then he just kept throwing bangers the whole time. 00:04:21.723 --> 00:04:26.163 So I guess that's not athletics per se, but it is a definite 00:04:26.163 --> 00:04:30.783 hand-eye coordination pursuit and you were instantly stunning at it. 00:04:31.028 --> 00:04:35.178 Matt: Yeah, I do, I really do have a strange, I think that's what I'm 00:04:35.178 --> 00:04:39.298 saying is like, I was a skinny kid, I was awkward, all of those things. 00:04:39.658 --> 00:04:45.651 But I think I do have a natural talent for, especially like the 00:04:45.651 --> 00:04:49.821 hand-eye stuff, like throwing a ball into a basketball hoop or something 00:04:49.821 --> 00:04:52.746 like that, like I, I can do that. 00:04:52.836 --> 00:04:53.616 I don't know why. 00:04:53.676 --> 00:04:58.986 I have no idea why, but it was never fostered and I never, you know, because 00:04:58.986 --> 00:05:02.526 then when I went to school and there were like sports and teams and all that 00:05:02.531 --> 00:05:08.106 stuff, and I just kind of crumbled and was very unpopular and made fun of. 00:05:08.111 --> 00:05:13.476 So it just became, I have such a negative thing towards all of it that, 00:05:14.046 --> 00:05:17.046 Alison: Isn't it interesting the spectrum that exists? 00:05:17.046 --> 00:05:19.566 You just said, you know, you were the skinny kid and that's why you were 00:05:19.566 --> 00:05:21.336 picked on and didn't make the teams. 00:05:21.606 --> 00:05:24.426 And I was the fat kid and that's why I was picked on. 00:05:24.426 --> 00:05:28.326 And like, who, who is demanding perfection at eight years old? 00:05:28.326 --> 00:05:30.066 And who do we need to talk to about this problem? 00:05:30.516 --> 00:05:31.916 Because it's absurd. 00:05:32.406 --> 00:05:33.996 Matt: I'm hoping that it's different now. 00:05:34.426 --> 00:05:36.946 But yeah, it was a rough time. 00:05:37.571 --> 00:05:40.091 If anybody has seen, um, Freaks and Geeks 00:05:40.813 --> 00:05:40.893 Alison: Yeah. 00:05:40.953 --> 00:05:46.088 Matt: You wanna get a good, good grasp on what my high school and Below 00:05:46.093 --> 00:05:49.688 experience was, yeah, I don't know. 00:05:49.838 --> 00:05:50.168 Yeah. 00:05:50.178 --> 00:05:52.758 Alison: Uh, I got right on top of ya, number nine. 00:05:54.213 --> 00:05:54.903 Matt: Number nine. 00:05:55.293 --> 00:05:55.863 Number nine. 00:05:57.333 --> 00:05:58.473 This is not possible. 00:05:59.073 --> 00:06:01.183 This is not possible. 00:06:01.393 --> 00:06:02.533 Are you kidding me? 00:06:02.802 --> 00:06:05.850 Alison: I ha unfortunately, normally I try to not look at what my question's 00:06:05.850 --> 00:06:08.446 gonna be, but because it was right there next to your, question. 00:06:08.446 --> 00:06:12.346 So, dear listeners, uh, my question today is, Matt? 00:06:12.961 --> 00:06:16.291 Matt: Do any of your D&D characters have ADHD? 00:06:17.491 --> 00:06:19.711 Alison: Which is the topic that we 00:06:19.846 --> 00:06:21.436 Matt: today's podcast. 00:06:21.436 --> 00:06:22.276 Weird. 00:06:22.816 --> 00:06:23.986 That's weird. 00:06:25.201 --> 00:06:27.477 Alison: That is synchronicity, 00:06:27.735 --> 00:06:29.535 the universe saying yes. 00:06:29.535 --> 00:06:32.685 So where the door is easily pushed, right open with no resistance. 00:06:33.645 --> 00:06:36.315 That's what you should be giving the most of your attention. 00:06:36.660 --> 00:06:37.110 Matt: I like it. 00:06:37.380 --> 00:06:37.770 I like it. 00:06:37.770 --> 00:06:42.120 Well, then that means we've got a good topic for y'all today, folks. 00:06:42.135 --> 00:06:42.975 Alison: gotta, we gotta. 00:06:43.710 --> 00:06:43.890 Matt: yeah. 00:06:43.890 --> 00:06:45.120 Do we even answer that one? 00:06:45.120 --> 00:06:48.240 Do we even, I mean, because that's kind of, it's a spoiler, right? 00:06:48.270 --> 00:06:49.020 Stay tuned. 00:06:49.020 --> 00:06:49.470 Yeah. 00:06:49.590 --> 00:06:50.040 Okay. 00:06:50.175 --> 00:06:53.535 Alison: So let's go for like the lighter fluffier topic first, and 00:06:53.540 --> 00:06:57.065 then we will get into the meat of the episode and directly address. 00:06:57.065 --> 00:06:57.855 Don't you worry. 00:06:57.855 --> 00:07:01.995 In just a few more minutes, we will in fact be talking about, uh, which of my 00:07:01.995 --> 00:07:04.415 characters I feel like may have ADHD. 00:07:04.825 --> 00:07:05.565 Matt: Cannot wait. 00:07:05.702 --> 00:07:07.082 Alison: So we have a new favorite word. 00:07:07.112 --> 00:07:08.102 Which is neuro spicy. 00:07:08.102 --> 00:07:09.392 Still a favorite word by the way. 00:07:09.443 --> 00:07:13.073 Um, but I heard a word probably on TikTok a few weeks ago. 00:07:13.100 --> 00:07:13.970 "Dopamining." 00:07:14.150 --> 00:07:20.300 So dopamining is the practice of, uh, doing activities that give you a 00:07:20.540 --> 00:07:23.023 maybe necessary little dopamine boost. 00:07:23.743 --> 00:07:27.643 And I experienced this for the first time a few weeks ago. 00:07:27.983 --> 00:07:29.723 New year, new me new budget, right? 00:07:29.933 --> 00:07:32.813 And, uh, trying desperately to not spend money. 00:07:32.813 --> 00:07:37.223 And I am, you know, one of the ways that my, lack of impulse control, 00:07:37.330 --> 00:07:41.440 comes in a lot is just I spend way too much money on very unnecessary things. 00:07:41.440 --> 00:07:45.010 I have, I have no chill when it comes to pulling out the old credit card. 00:07:45.310 --> 00:07:46.390 So I'm trying to lock it down. 00:07:46.390 --> 00:07:49.420 I'm trying to not buy any clothes cause I have plenty, I'm trying to not, you know, 00:07:49.450 --> 00:07:53.650 buy any new tchotchkes or knickknacks or things for my house cuz I have plenty. 00:07:54.115 --> 00:07:58.015 And I was taking down Christmas and the area where my Christmas tree 00:07:58.020 --> 00:08:01.435 was, I was like, maybe I should do something new with that space. 00:08:02.030 --> 00:08:03.670 And so I gave myself a little challenge. 00:08:03.700 --> 00:08:08.740 I was like, I can pull any piece of furniture, any decoration, 00:08:08.740 --> 00:08:12.610 anything that I already own to try and make this space new. 00:08:13.240 --> 00:08:16.600 And over the course of the afternoon, I'm like going through my house 00:08:16.600 --> 00:08:18.160 and moving furniture around. 00:08:18.730 --> 00:08:20.650 By the way, were you, Matt, one of those kids that was 00:08:20.650 --> 00:08:22.120 constantly rearranging your room? 00:08:22.120 --> 00:08:23.230 Because I definitely was, 00:08:24.115 --> 00:08:25.045 Matt: Uh, yes. 00:08:25.165 --> 00:08:26.185 Uh, yes. 00:08:26.185 --> 00:08:29.485 Young Matt did that and, and, uh, old Matt does that. 00:08:30.190 --> 00:08:31.503 Alison: Yep, yep, yep, yep. 00:08:31.503 --> 00:08:34.203 But anyways, over the course of the afternoon I ended up creating 00:08:34.203 --> 00:08:38.133 myself a fun little book nook with a table from somewhere entirely 00:08:38.138 --> 00:08:42.123 different and, you know, lighting from other places in my house and, 00:08:42.128 --> 00:08:44.023 you know, and it's so adorable A. 00:08:44.023 --> 00:08:46.813 It makes me wanna read more cuz I have a dedicated space for it. 00:08:46.813 --> 00:08:49.153 It also has become like my meditation chair. 00:08:49.753 --> 00:08:51.718 Um, And it's wonderful. 00:08:51.718 --> 00:08:57.088 And I realized at the end of that that I had the same level of joy coursing 00:08:57.088 --> 00:09:01.438 through my body that I do is when I go shopping and get to come home. 00:09:01.528 --> 00:09:05.638 And, and I felt, I felt in that moment, like I had discovered like a little hack, 00:09:05.638 --> 00:09:07.258 like do other people know about this? 00:09:07.258 --> 00:09:09.178 That maybe you don't have to spend the money. 00:09:09.178 --> 00:09:12.358 Maybe you could just spend the time breathing new life into 00:09:12.358 --> 00:09:13.468 something that you already own. 00:09:13.468 --> 00:09:14.878 And that's the exact same effect. 00:09:15.568 --> 00:09:16.498 So two part question. 00:09:16.498 --> 00:09:20.778 Part one is, Matt, do you have any dopamining that you'd like to share? 00:09:20.863 --> 00:09:25.133 Matt: Yes, in fact, I have been dopamining. 00:09:25.263 --> 00:09:27.833 I, I'm delighted to hear that this is a real thing. 00:09:27.833 --> 00:09:29.533 and okay, Here's my question. 00:09:29.713 --> 00:09:36.013 So dopamine means taking what you've got and mining it for new dopamine, right? 00:09:36.013 --> 00:09:39.283 Alison: Not necessarily just taking part in activities that you know. 00:09:39.283 --> 00:09:43.243 So maybe if shopping is how you, dopamine, you go shopping or you 00:09:43.448 --> 00:09:43.798 Matt: Uh, 00:09:44.543 --> 00:09:46.218 Alison: Like whatever the activity is. 00:09:46.218 --> 00:09:47.868 It doesn't have to be old, new, or otherwise. 00:09:48.618 --> 00:09:51.918 It's the, the act of doing the thing that you know is gonna 00:09:51.918 --> 00:09:52.998 bring you that hit of joy. 00:09:53.298 --> 00:09:56.988 Scrolling endlessly through TikTok is how a lot of people, dopamine. 00:09:58.203 --> 00:09:58.593 Matt: I get it. 00:09:58.593 --> 00:10:02.477 I get it, But in, in this specific case, we're saying, how can we 00:10:02.482 --> 00:10:07.967 dopamine without, uh, adding to our credit and spending money? 00:10:08.537 --> 00:10:12.977 Well, I've been trying recently to kind of pair things down, 00:10:13.337 --> 00:10:17.027 like, with all of my gear, right? 00:10:17.457 --> 00:10:23.932 Cuz now I've got, I've got a "work-work" side of this office and, and a record 00:10:23.932 --> 00:10:26.962 studio, edit side of the office. 00:10:27.112 --> 00:10:34.059 And, uh, I feel like the, the edit studio side of the office, uh, was 00:10:34.059 --> 00:10:36.819 kind of getting a little bit intense and every once in a while things were 00:10:36.849 --> 00:10:40.845 just kind of, you know, stop working because it there was a lot going on. 00:10:40.872 --> 00:10:46.962 And I was also using a separate computer just to, just to record and stuff. 00:10:47.582 --> 00:10:52.529 But I thought, well, gosh, maybe I don't need that computer and 00:10:52.529 --> 00:10:56.724 maybe my friend Alison might like it because it's a good computer. 00:10:57.114 --> 00:11:00.890 It's a great computer, and you could actually use an upgrade. 00:11:01.280 --> 00:11:07.150 Um, so my, my problem with dopamine and dopamining, possibilities happen every 00:11:07.150 --> 00:11:11.890 time a new Apple product is released. 00:11:12.280 --> 00:11:17.680 There's always a point where I have to obsess about it and go, okay, gosh, wow. 00:11:18.040 --> 00:11:19.240 Do I need this upgrade? 00:11:19.240 --> 00:11:20.590 Should I have this upgrade? 00:11:20.634 --> 00:11:23.974 I spend hours and hours and hours and hours and hours of talking myself 00:11:24.004 --> 00:11:27.544 into or out of certain things, right? 00:11:28.234 --> 00:11:34.530 Uh, so there's a new few products released that were a solid upgrade, and I was 00:11:34.530 --> 00:11:38.160 very excited about them because I was like, Ooh, well that could be beneficial. 00:11:38.424 --> 00:11:39.114 and I was like, Ooh. 00:11:39.114 --> 00:11:40.834 And it could also help Alison. 00:11:40.854 --> 00:11:42.654 That's a part of me trying to work through it. 00:11:43.014 --> 00:11:46.704 Uh, and so I was like, I'll, I'll do it. 00:11:46.854 --> 00:11:49.547 And so you know, I'm selling you one of my computers. 00:11:50.297 --> 00:11:55.457 And then when I went to press the buy button, I said, wait a minute. 00:11:55.757 --> 00:11:56.357 Hold on. 00:11:57.407 --> 00:11:58.937 Do I need this right now? 00:11:59.177 --> 00:12:03.477 So what I did instead was I dismantled everything to get your system—a 00:12:03.827 --> 00:12:05.564 monitor and a, and a Mac Mini. 00:12:05.564 --> 00:12:08.557 That's gonna be so, so great for you, I think. 00:12:08.887 --> 00:12:12.217 so, so, so much quieter, so much more powerful. 00:12:12.289 --> 00:12:13.369 so that's gonna be great. 00:12:13.374 --> 00:12:14.569 And I had it all aside. 00:12:14.569 --> 00:12:15.379 I was like, okay, great. 00:12:15.379 --> 00:12:16.699 Now I have room for something new. 00:12:16.699 --> 00:12:20.142 And then I was like, well, What if I just did without, what if I don't use 00:12:20.142 --> 00:12:25.392 two, two monitors in this room and I only have one here and can I do it all? 00:12:25.572 --> 00:12:26.322 And I did. 00:12:26.502 --> 00:12:29.472 And I, so everything is a lot simpler. 00:12:29.562 --> 00:12:30.642 It's cleaner. 00:12:30.882 --> 00:12:36.942 I've got my dice tray ready to go right at my hand because now I 00:12:36.942 --> 00:12:40.182 have room for it cuz there's not another, something right there. 00:12:40.182 --> 00:12:45.942 And, and my laptop, uh, which is a great laptop, can do it all. 00:12:45.942 --> 00:12:50.827 So I'm, I'm just, you know, I am unplugging to move around. 00:12:50.827 --> 00:12:55.127 But I was doing that anyway, so I've now dopamined myself into 00:12:55.127 --> 00:13:00.737 this really lovely new experience, both in my work and this studio. 00:13:00.977 --> 00:13:06.917 And, uh, I don't have to worry about changing settings on different computers 00:13:06.917 --> 00:13:08.937 because that's what I was doing. 00:13:09.250 --> 00:13:11.320 And I did a lot of cable management. 00:13:11.320 --> 00:13:14.050 cable management is a big dopamining thing for me. 00:13:14.229 --> 00:13:18.939 Alison: So what I'm hearing from you is that streamlining is dopamining for you. 00:13:19.839 --> 00:13:21.339 Matt: Strangely, it is. 00:13:21.499 --> 00:13:25.470 I think that my initial, my belief was, I need to be able to do 00:13:25.500 --> 00:13:26.520 this and this and this and this. 00:13:26.520 --> 00:13:30.900 And then, over the last year of actually doing that stuff and seeing 00:13:30.900 --> 00:13:36.374 what I actually needed, I was like, oh wait, no, I can get everything 00:13:36.379 --> 00:13:41.699 I need to get done just as well with a cleaner look and feel. 00:13:41.759 --> 00:13:43.529 And it is really nice. 00:13:43.815 --> 00:13:44.985 Playing D&D is better. 00:13:45.152 --> 00:13:45.962 It's easier. 00:13:46.015 --> 00:13:47.755 Less things to plug in and do. 00:13:47.755 --> 00:13:50.285 Alison: It did seem like you were like always futzing. 00:13:51.085 --> 00:13:54.025 Matt: Futzing is, is dopamining for me for sure. 00:13:54.585 --> 00:13:55.285 No question. 00:13:55.435 --> 00:13:56.695 Futzing is super fun. 00:13:56.995 --> 00:13:58.285 Dopamine-y, yes. 00:13:58.457 --> 00:14:03.617 Alison: You know, I realized it, I think we all knew this, but one of my instant 00:14:03.617 --> 00:14:05.927 dopamine hits is something you just did. 00:14:07.592 --> 00:14:08.462 Matt: Oh, 00:14:09.047 --> 00:14:10.157 Alison: The dice rattle, man. 00:14:10.187 --> 00:14:11.477 Ah, God yes. 00:14:12.197 --> 00:14:15.527 It's why I am a total dice gremlin. 00:14:15.954 --> 00:14:20.094 Rolling that dice and, and waiting expectantly to see, you know, did 00:14:20.094 --> 00:14:21.834 I, did I fail or did I succeed? 00:14:21.834 --> 00:14:24.024 Is just, it does something. 00:14:24.114 --> 00:14:26.784 It tickles my brain in the best of ways. 00:14:26.784 --> 00:14:27.144 I love 00:14:27.324 --> 00:14:27.684 Matt: Yeah. 00:14:28.074 --> 00:14:30.924 Alison: So I am very curious, uh, those listening. 00:14:30.924 --> 00:14:34.674 Uh, I wanna know how you, dopamine, this has gotta be a thing. 00:14:35.094 --> 00:14:38.754 So if, if you, if you don't already know, like take some time to find out. 00:14:38.754 --> 00:14:39.474 It's super fun. 00:14:39.479 --> 00:14:43.584 And if you do know, tell us, cuz I just, I bet that everybody has 00:14:43.584 --> 00:14:46.164 different ways that they get that hit. 00:14:46.250 --> 00:14:50.540 Matt: Now, here's the thing with ADHD, this beauty is gonna last 00:14:50.540 --> 00:14:53.150 for a, you know, a month or two. 00:14:53.150 --> 00:14:56.000 And then we're gonna be like, Hmm, something else is gonna come out and 00:14:56.000 --> 00:14:57.950 we'll be wanting to change things. 00:14:58.279 --> 00:14:59.689 And that is okay with us. 00:14:59.953 --> 00:15:04.893 So yeah, please everybody send in your hits of the dopamine persuasion, 00:15:05.018 --> 00:15:05.494 Alison: It to us. 00:15:05.883 --> 00:15:09.533 All right, well, do you wanna talk about, now our nice chewy, uh... 00:15:09.533 --> 00:15:10.413 Matt: I do. 00:15:10.413 --> 00:15:13.023 Alison: How did we get How did we get to this, this idea? 00:15:13.473 --> 00:15:17.433 Um, so I don't know if Matt or I have ever mentioned this, but we, we play 00:15:17.433 --> 00:15:21.583 Dungeons and Dragons together, uh, a few times a week at this point. 00:15:21.583 --> 00:15:22.073 Matt: Mm-hmm. 00:15:22.273 --> 00:15:22.883 Mm-hmm. 00:15:23.816 --> 00:15:25.496 Alison: uh, One might call us obsessed. 00:15:25.546 --> 00:15:29.060 So in this campaign, actually Matt's first campaign, DMing for us. 00:15:29.326 --> 00:15:33.776 I started out as a rogue, so rogues are your little sneaky sneaks. 00:15:34.276 --> 00:15:39.286 And then I realized true to true to type, I missed being a magic caster. 00:15:39.291 --> 00:15:46.916 And so I went to Matt and begged and pleaded, can I please, please multi-class? 00:15:47.921 --> 00:15:48.611 Into a bard. 00:15:49.301 --> 00:15:52.991 Because I had taken the entertainer background, and so I had built my 00:15:52.991 --> 00:15:58.301 character around somebody who was already, you know, on the road performing for coin. 00:15:58.691 --> 00:16:00.971 Uh, and so it seemed like a natural fit. 00:16:01.331 --> 00:16:05.351 Um, and then my rogue-ish archetype, I had taken arcane trickster, so I already 00:16:05.351 --> 00:16:10.151 had a little bit of magic in me, and so it just, it seemed like the right flex. 00:16:10.151 --> 00:16:12.961 But Matt, you don't love multiclassing. 00:16:13.451 --> 00:16:15.161 Care to talk about that for a second? 00:16:15.410 --> 00:16:16.730 Matt: Yeah, we should explain. 00:16:16.730 --> 00:16:21.226 Um, in, In Dungeons and Dragons, if you think of a class as your 00:16:21.226 --> 00:16:22.606 profession, your job, right? 00:16:22.606 --> 00:16:25.696 So there are rogues that Chimerical started off to be. 00:16:25.906 --> 00:16:31.215 And then you could have the job of a fighter or a druid. 00:16:31.265 --> 00:16:39.428 Uh, multiclassing is a mechanic uh, where you start off as a rogue 00:16:39.428 --> 00:16:45.051 and then you say, my next level of experience is going to be in Bard. 00:16:45.081 --> 00:16:47.056 I'm gonna be a magic musician. 00:16:47.086 --> 00:16:47.536 Right? 00:16:47.566 --> 00:16:50.706 And then I might become a fighter. 00:16:51.006 --> 00:16:55.926 And look, I'm, I'm very much aware that part of the reason that 00:16:55.926 --> 00:17:01.563 multi-classing drives me nuts as a Dungeon Master, is that it is triggering 00:17:01.563 --> 00:17:10.263 my, internal ADHD, trying very hard to, to stay focused on something. 00:17:10.323 --> 00:17:15.433 And I also just don't, I don't like, the current Dungeons & Dragons fifth 00:17:15.438 --> 00:17:18.353 edition mechanic for multiclassing. 00:17:18.373 --> 00:17:19.963 I just don't like the concept of it. 00:17:19.963 --> 00:17:24.853 I don't, It doesn't seem realistic to me, because in D&D it's kind of like I'm doing 00:17:24.853 --> 00:17:26.863 this now, uh, now I'm taking a right turn. 00:17:26.863 --> 00:17:28.063 Now I'm plant doing this. 00:17:28.063 --> 00:17:29.173 Now I'm taking a left turn. 00:17:29.173 --> 00:17:31.603 Now I'm, you know, so it, it frustrates me. 00:17:31.963 --> 00:17:37.393 Uh, and I've, I've made that, you know, apparent to, to the players 00:17:37.393 --> 00:17:39.523 in the group, to their frustration. 00:17:39.653 --> 00:17:41.222 But to Make Alison happy. 00:17:41.567 --> 00:17:45.107 I said, of course Alison, I want you to have what you want in this 00:17:45.107 --> 00:17:46.787 game that we play every week. 00:17:46.792 --> 00:17:47.897 I want you to be happy. 00:17:47.927 --> 00:17:51.887 So yes, let us, let's do multiclassing, right? 00:17:53.027 --> 00:17:58.847 And so we, you know, I, I'm the kind of, I'm the kind of game master that 00:17:58.847 --> 00:18:04.700 wants to, have like, reasons that people will make choices in the game. 00:18:05.210 --> 00:18:05.780 Meaning... 00:18:05.930 --> 00:18:08.140 Why would your character, Chimerical? 00:18:08.160 --> 00:18:13.527 Suddenly decide to study the ways of a Bard? 00:18:13.577 --> 00:18:17.477 Why would she go from a thief background to something else? 00:18:17.947 --> 00:18:21.167 And you have, you've had great reasons for it. 00:18:21.497 --> 00:18:25.007 But the other players in the group have come to me with like, these 00:18:25.217 --> 00:18:31.748 major backstories and like these, very intense reasons why they are 00:18:31.748 --> 00:18:34.178 what they are and do what they do. 00:18:34.178 --> 00:18:37.162 But you and I have just kind of been like, you learn something new as a player 00:18:37.162 --> 00:18:38.452 and you come to me, I wanna try this. 00:18:38.452 --> 00:18:41.632 I'm like, okay, sure we can, we can do that. 00:18:41.632 --> 00:18:46.162 And then the next time we talk about like, gaining new experience of like, Ooh, 00:18:46.162 --> 00:18:47.962 and now I feel like she might do this. 00:18:48.472 --> 00:18:51.922 Um, and then we finally, it finally dawned on us, didn't it? 00:18:51.922 --> 00:18:55.918 Because, uh, something happened recently that, was an in game 00:18:56.428 --> 00:18:59.338 extreme event that happened. 00:18:59.868 --> 00:19:06.278 And this time Alison came to me and had a very different feel and a 00:19:06.288 --> 00:19:09.708 demonstrative idea for her character. 00:19:10.443 --> 00:19:15.693 Suddenly her character was razor focused on what she wanted to do 00:19:15.693 --> 00:19:17.253 next and what she wanted to be. 00:19:17.523 --> 00:19:26.023 And at that moment we both went, oh, Chimerical has ADHD, Chimerical has ADHD. 00:19:26.463 --> 00:19:30.813 She's had it all along, and, and it's just taken this life experience, 00:19:30.818 --> 00:19:34.307 this moment to, to both show us that. 00:19:34.467 --> 00:19:38.337 Alison: One of the ways I, I'll give Evan especially a lot of credit 00:19:38.397 --> 00:19:41.457 here is, is playing against type. 00:19:41.577 --> 00:19:45.377 You know, like, anybody can be the bard who wanders around and 00:19:45.377 --> 00:19:48.877 cracks jokes and strums on their lute, you know, and that's fun. 00:19:48.877 --> 00:19:50.977 And I'm not, I'm not dunking on people who do that. 00:19:51.437 --> 00:19:52.847 but do more, be more. 00:19:52.877 --> 00:19:55.327 And so I, I tried to, when I built Chimerical, you know, even though I 00:19:55.327 --> 00:19:59.207 had her with an entertainer background, I tried to, to come up with different 00:19:59.227 --> 00:20:04.237 ways that she could entertain for coin besides just, you know, open 00:20:04.237 --> 00:20:06.907 mic night at the local tavern, right? 00:20:07.537 --> 00:20:07.987 Um, 00:20:08.348 --> 00:20:09.278 Matt: Right, right. 00:20:09.430 --> 00:20:12.430 Alison: And so, you know, kind of leaning into learning to, you know, 00:20:12.430 --> 00:20:14.770 play against type and to take chances. 00:20:14.770 --> 00:20:19.300 And so this event that Matt is referencing was an incredibly sad event. 00:20:19.330 --> 00:20:24.567 A a an event in which, Matt has pushed a, a love theme into , into 00:20:24.567 --> 00:20:26.857 this campaign with an NPC. 00:20:27.017 --> 00:20:29.820 But I I found myself realizing I didn't want my character to be 00:20:29.820 --> 00:20:33.600 defined exclusively by being lovesick. 00:20:33.690 --> 00:20:34.830 Like, that's boring. 00:20:34.950 --> 00:20:38.040 That's every romantic comedy that exists out there. 00:20:38.040 --> 00:20:41.430 And so I, I was, it was me trying to play against type and say, okay, 00:20:41.700 --> 00:20:44.910 but what are some more interesting in character choices I could make? 00:20:45.202 --> 00:20:48.262 We've talked about this I think on the podcast, that anger and 00:20:48.262 --> 00:20:52.162 sadness are kind of the low-hanging fruit of the emotional world. 00:20:52.252 --> 00:20:56.692 And so try and find other reactions, find new different ways. 00:20:57.202 --> 00:21:00.262 So that's kind of, that was the spirit in which I came to Matt and said, 00:21:00.262 --> 00:21:02.632 okay, like this thing has happened. 00:21:02.692 --> 00:21:06.527 But I don't want her to be defined by just pining endlessly cuz that's 00:21:06.527 --> 00:21:07.757 not gonna be fun for me to play. 00:21:07.757 --> 00:21:11.422 And it's not gonna fun for my party to have to just deal with this 00:21:11.422 --> 00:21:13.102 lump who's crying all the time. 00:21:13.642 --> 00:21:15.742 And so, yeah, so Matt and I start talking. 00:21:15.782 --> 00:21:20.372 We both have this sudden like aha moment, realizing that the reason 00:21:20.372 --> 00:21:24.722 she has changed focuses so many times is because she has ADHD. 00:21:25.226 --> 00:21:27.892 I'll peel the player from the character for a minute. 00:21:28.342 --> 00:21:34.372 It was a real life frustration of Alison's not necessarily Chimerical's, when I, 00:21:34.377 --> 00:21:39.052 I had realized in recent weeks nobody in the party knew what I was good at. 00:21:40.042 --> 00:21:43.932 And so anytime we would come up against anything where, oh, somebody needs to, you 00:21:43.932 --> 00:21:48.992 know, uh, unlock a door or somebody needs to, do a vibe check on a room everybody 00:21:48.992 --> 00:21:50.702 would turn to everybody else in the party. 00:21:51.452 --> 00:21:54.782 And that was driving me, Alison, a little bit crazy because 00:21:54.782 --> 00:21:56.312 I'm like, I'm good at that. 00:21:56.312 --> 00:22:00.992 But I realized that the way that I was playing the character, I hadn't, you 00:22:00.992 --> 00:22:04.472 know, I don't know if it was a masking problem, but that was when all of a sudden 00:22:04.472 --> 00:22:09.452 I went, oh my God, it's ADHD because I hadn't let anybody know what I was about. 00:22:09.512 --> 00:22:15.210 I had been so focused on being a Jill of all trades, multi-talented, able 00:22:15.210 --> 00:22:16.770 to be proficient, cuz that's what... 00:22:17.355 --> 00:22:22.155 you know, a Bard is proficient in a lot of things, but they're not the 00:22:22.155 --> 00:22:24.435 one singular focus for any one thing. 00:22:25.065 --> 00:22:28.855 And I think when I verbalized to you that I was really frustrated 00:22:29.185 --> 00:22:33.085 that nobody turned to me in game to ask me to do these things, that was 00:22:33.115 --> 00:22:36.175 when you and I both went, oh no. 00:22:36.865 --> 00:22:41.695 And that gave me like the fire in my gut that you were talking about, to define the 00:22:41.695 --> 00:22:44.095 thing that I stand for to make it known. 00:22:44.875 --> 00:22:46.195 This is my talent. 00:22:46.285 --> 00:22:50.305 This is what you need to rely on me on before anybody else. 00:22:50.305 --> 00:22:51.445 And it's not an ego thing. 00:22:51.445 --> 00:22:54.025 I think I'm not doing a great job of explaining it in a way that 00:22:54.025 --> 00:22:55.615 doesn't make it sound all about me. 00:22:55.975 --> 00:22:58.195 But in a, in a game, in a party, you wanna be balanced. 00:22:58.195 --> 00:22:59.395 And we've talked about that before. 00:22:59.400 --> 00:23:02.735 You know the archetypes, so you wanna know who to call on. 00:23:03.095 --> 00:23:07.877 Matt: So, I think that the thing about multiclassing, for me, again, the, 00:23:07.877 --> 00:23:13.716 that is probably triggering to me is that even though we strive to hit these 00:23:13.716 --> 00:23:21.336 real emotional elements in the game, like the party has the archetypes and 00:23:21.341 --> 00:23:24.276 everybody's moving and doing these things, 00:23:24.872 --> 00:23:25.392 Alison: Mm-hmm. 00:23:25.562 --> 00:23:30.498 Matt: There's a part of me that believes that, if you are kind of 00:23:30.503 --> 00:23:36.748 a thief and kind of a magic using bard, then there is a chance that 00:23:36.748 --> 00:23:38.638 you're going to experience this. 00:23:38.638 --> 00:23:42.958 Because Evan is, Evan's character is just a monk that is going to 00:23:42.958 --> 00:23:44.308 kill someone on the first strike. 00:23:44.338 --> 00:23:47.758 And then we've got this druid and then the healer, they have 00:23:47.758 --> 00:23:55.258 focused into being the ones that do the thing when the time comes. 00:23:55.318 --> 00:23:57.398 And you are gonna struggle with that. 00:23:57.458 --> 00:24:00.758 You're just, because you're not, you're not a super powerful bard, 00:24:00.818 --> 00:24:02.828 nor are you a super powerful thief. 00:24:02.828 --> 00:24:03.218 Right? 00:24:03.318 --> 00:24:05.778 And that's, that's a frustration. 00:24:06.318 --> 00:24:13.338 And as, as someone with ADHD in real life, you're gonna actually in game feel this 00:24:13.488 --> 00:24:15.658 rejection sensitive dysphoria, right? 00:24:16.244 --> 00:24:18.974 Alison: I, I think I've said this before, probably even on this podcast, where I 00:24:18.974 --> 00:24:24.494 have learned more about my disability from this podcast with you, from our 00:24:24.494 --> 00:24:30.524 community, Discord and otherwise, and from than I ever have from any formal diagnosis 00:24:30.524 --> 00:24:32.294 or care plan with a doctor, right? 00:24:32.744 --> 00:24:36.794 And one of the things that I never had even heard of until it's been 00:24:36.794 --> 00:24:40.844 within the last six months is RSD: Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. 00:24:41.324 --> 00:24:45.314 Um, so I'm just gonna read really quickly from Cleveland Clinic RSD is when you 00:24:45.314 --> 00:24:50.054 experience severe emotional pain because of a failure or feeling rejected. 00:24:50.354 --> 00:24:54.914 This condition is linked to ADHD, and experts suspect it happens due 00:24:54.914 --> 00:24:57.014 to differences in brain structure. 00:24:57.314 --> 00:25:02.348 Those differences mean your brain can't regulate rejection related emotions and 00:25:02.348 --> 00:25:04.928 behaviors, making them much more intense. 00:25:05.858 --> 00:25:10.428 The second that I heard about this concept I mean, it, it describes 00:25:10.433 --> 00:25:11.658 everything that I always am. 00:25:11.663 --> 00:25:16.668 Why little tiny things, you know, that to other people, they 00:25:16.668 --> 00:25:19.788 would just kind of brush off and say like, oh, this is a spat. 00:25:19.838 --> 00:25:21.668 We'll, we'll be over it by morning. 00:25:21.668 --> 00:25:23.498 I'm like, oh my God, do you not love me anymore? 00:25:23.498 --> 00:25:24.788 Do you not wanna be in my life anymore? 00:25:24.788 --> 00:25:26.768 Do you not want anything to do with me? 00:25:26.768 --> 00:25:30.128 And it, and it perplexes my, my friends and family. 00:25:30.938 --> 00:25:34.388 But now that I have a name for it, and that's, you know, so much of what 00:25:34.388 --> 00:25:38.438 this journey is all about is giving things a name, understanding them, 00:25:38.443 --> 00:25:43.208 having conversations, and hopefully eventually, you know, there's some 00:25:43.208 --> 00:25:45.908 things that, that we're just gonna be, and we're, we've talked about this 00:25:45.908 --> 00:25:48.188 before, we're not gonna try and fight it. 00:25:48.728 --> 00:25:50.168 This is something I'd like to fight. 00:25:50.348 --> 00:25:53.828 But it, it explains so much, Matt, about why at various stages in our 00:25:53.833 --> 00:25:58.388 lives, you and I have both been pegged as overly sensitive or overly dramatic. 00:25:58.968 --> 00:26:02.148 And I think, you know, when I, when I started thinking about this 00:26:02.148 --> 00:26:06.908 within the lens of Chimerical, she was feeling ignored. 00:26:06.938 --> 00:26:08.588 She was feeling misunderstood. 00:26:08.618 --> 00:26:12.518 She was feeling, you know, uh, like she was, she would and could 00:26:12.523 --> 00:26:14.108 have been labeled at any turn. 00:26:14.108 --> 00:26:19.338 These things that she didn't feel she innately was because she has ADHD. 00:26:19.358 --> 00:26:22.118 And coupled that ADHD is RSD. 00:26:22.538 --> 00:26:22.988 Matt: Yeah. 00:26:24.008 --> 00:26:25.688 I know, I know. 00:26:25.688 --> 00:26:26.678 It's so weird. 00:26:26.683 --> 00:26:27.908 It's so amazing. 00:26:28.850 --> 00:26:29.450 Um, 00:26:29.495 --> 00:26:32.675 Alison: Other things that I do just want, wanna kind of read like, cuz I, I'm not 00:26:32.675 --> 00:26:35.705 good enough at this to paraphrase, but like, I think that these are the important 00:26:35.705 --> 00:26:37.205 parts of it that I kind of gleaned. 00:26:37.685 --> 00:26:40.505 While rejection is something people usually don't like. 00:26:40.535 --> 00:26:41.825 That's true, nobody loves it. 00:26:42.065 --> 00:26:44.915 The negative feelings that come with RSD are stronger and can 00:26:44.915 --> 00:26:46.355 be harder to manage or both. 00:26:46.360 --> 00:26:51.075 People with RSD are also more likely to interpret vague reactions 00:26:51.080 --> 00:26:54.985 as rejection and may find it difficult to control the reactions. 00:26:55.405 --> 00:26:59.395 How many times has someone has innocently brushed me off and I, 00:26:59.395 --> 00:27:00.625 I'm like, oh, they're mad at me. 00:27:00.670 --> 00:27:01.510 And that's never it. 00:27:01.510 --> 00:27:03.790 And usually when I come to them and say, are you mad at me? 00:27:04.360 --> 00:27:05.710 They'll say, what are you talking about? 00:27:05.710 --> 00:27:06.850 I, I was busy. 00:27:06.910 --> 00:27:10.420 I, I was, I was focused on the work I was doing. 00:27:11.050 --> 00:27:12.820 Um, and then the final. 00:27:13.255 --> 00:27:13.945 I know, right? 00:27:13.945 --> 00:27:15.025 I was streamlining. 00:27:15.235 --> 00:27:17.935 And then kind of the final thing, and this is getting into the science 00:27:17.935 --> 00:27:21.925 of it, is social rejection, even when it's vague or uncertain, causes 00:27:21.925 --> 00:27:24.625 similar brain activity to pain. 00:27:25.435 --> 00:27:29.515 So that like we are inflicted pain upon us. 00:27:29.520 --> 00:27:35.395 And that resonates so hard with me that you just, you know, when you are in 00:27:35.395 --> 00:27:39.355 blinding pain, you have a migraine or you know something is broken and it's 00:27:39.355 --> 00:27:40.885 not, it's all that you can focus on. 00:27:40.885 --> 00:27:44.575 It's all that you can fixate on because the neurotransmitters in your 00:27:44.575 --> 00:27:48.264 brain are, you know, sending you a signal that something's not right. 00:27:48.264 --> 00:27:50.034 Like, that's why pain exists, right? 00:27:50.514 --> 00:27:56.824 And that's what's happening in my brain structure because of my ADHD. 00:27:57.114 --> 00:27:59.904 It's the same reaction as if I had, you know, twisted my ankle. 00:28:00.204 --> 00:28:03.264 It's my brain trying to get my attention and say, pay attention. 00:28:03.614 --> 00:28:04.174 Matt: Right. 00:28:04.374 --> 00:28:06.964 Alison: I think that it's really funny that I had to play D&D 00:28:06.984 --> 00:28:08.514 to uncover this in real life. 00:28:13.180 --> 00:28:19.310 Matt: I, I do, I do really want to hear from people who don't experience this 00:28:19.370 --> 00:28:22.970 because I, again, we know that there are elements of this, everybody experiences. 00:28:22.970 --> 00:28:24.500 I mean, feelings can get hurt. 00:28:24.500 --> 00:28:27.765 It's not like we're saying, oh, we have the monopoly on hurt feelings. 00:28:27.765 --> 00:28:32.625 But it is incredibly difficult to explain at the, the intensity and the 00:28:32.625 --> 00:28:39.465 level of it to the point where, like you said, we are so unaware and so 00:28:39.529 --> 00:28:43.669 the only feedback that we get, that we, that, that we can go off of our 00:28:43.669 --> 00:28:46.759 entire lives is when people go, what? 00:28:47.839 --> 00:28:48.079 Why? 00:28:48.079 --> 00:28:49.759 Why are you reacting that way? 00:28:50.209 --> 00:28:50.509 What? 00:28:50.697 --> 00:28:55.599 They literally don't understand why we are in a full on tailspin. 00:28:55.599 --> 00:28:58.609 cuz their, their email was just efficient. 00:28:58.884 --> 00:29:03.714 I don't write efficient emails because I don't like getting efficient emails 00:29:03.824 --> 00:29:05.694 cuz I think that they're mad at me. 00:29:05.904 --> 00:29:07.699 I know, it's ridiculous. 00:29:07.699 --> 00:29:09.084 But that's, a real thing. 00:29:09.084 --> 00:29:11.699 And so I would love to hear from people whose maybe brains are, 00:29:11.699 --> 00:29:13.269 are a little less neuro spicy. 00:29:13.274 --> 00:29:15.479 That, that, like, what is it like then? 00:29:15.479 --> 00:29:16.049 What is it? 00:29:16.099 --> 00:29:19.399 Because I just take it for granted so much. 00:29:19.482 --> 00:29:22.092 So yeah, so we're, you know, we're standing there we're, and we're 00:29:22.092 --> 00:29:25.402 like, oh gosh, so this, this major thing just happened to Chimerical. 00:29:25.422 --> 00:29:26.472 We're not gonna make her sad. 00:29:26.472 --> 00:29:30.912 We're not gonna make her like furious, what are we gonna do? 00:29:31.102 --> 00:29:33.922 She's gonna get even, how are we gonna make her get even, right? 00:29:34.432 --> 00:29:34.972 Um, 00:29:35.542 --> 00:29:38.182 and so you had some really fun ideas to do that. 00:29:38.212 --> 00:29:42.162 And, it, it wasn't that, it's, you know, it's not gonna change your class 00:29:42.192 --> 00:29:44.742 system, your choices up till now. 00:29:44.996 --> 00:29:48.546 But what you're saying, which I think is something that we can apply in our real 00:29:48.546 --> 00:29:53.546 lives, is personally I am, I'm proud to be a jack of all trades, master of none. 00:29:54.056 --> 00:30:01.099 I don't like talking about superpowers and ADHD, but man there is nothing better than 00:30:01.099 --> 00:30:03.859 to be able to go into a strange situation. 00:30:03.859 --> 00:30:05.449 I did, I did this just Saturday. 00:30:05.449 --> 00:30:12.409 We went to this super random, super last minute gala fundraiser thing. 00:30:12.409 --> 00:30:13.489 Didn't know anybody. 00:30:13.759 --> 00:30:16.529 Sat down, and I could talk about anything. 00:30:16.619 --> 00:30:18.329 I could talk about anything. 00:30:18.539 --> 00:30:19.718 That is pretty magical. 00:30:19.748 --> 00:30:21.008 So I'm, I'm happy. 00:30:21.098 --> 00:30:22.676 I'm happy that I can do that. 00:30:22.676 --> 00:30:25.376 That's super fun when, when it happens. 00:30:25.496 --> 00:30:29.489 But the, but the flip side is I'm not going to be a 10th level monk 00:30:29.849 --> 00:30:31.786 or a 10th level wildfire druid. 00:30:31.806 --> 00:30:34.259 I'm not going to be that focused. 00:30:34.259 --> 00:30:39.219 Alison: Yeah, I think that that's, you know, one of the ways that RSD has 00:30:39.219 --> 00:30:44.919 played out in my life has been around the concept of, of being too much. 00:30:44.979 --> 00:30:49.899 And I think that that's kind of coming from the not feeling like you have 00:30:50.199 --> 00:30:52.689 a place that you naturally fit in. 00:30:53.049 --> 00:30:58.209 So you keep trying to insert yourself, you know, in any situation that you can. 00:30:58.209 --> 00:31:02.122 And you kind of try to, you learn how to be everything to everyone. 00:31:02.152 --> 00:31:05.242 And I think that this also leads into a conversation about masking as well. 00:31:05.542 --> 00:31:08.362 And I think that that's something that I dealt with, that I brought 00:31:08.392 --> 00:31:13.452 into my character of she was trying to be everything to everyone and to 00:31:13.452 --> 00:31:15.192 your point, not getting anywhere. 00:31:15.462 --> 00:31:18.072 Because instead of being at a level 10, she was at two level fives. 00:31:18.247 --> 00:31:18.857 Matt: Mm-hmm. 00:31:19.152 --> 00:31:19.632 Alison: You know? 00:31:19.932 --> 00:31:24.582 And so, and that's where, you know, once I think, I think as humans, once 00:31:24.582 --> 00:31:29.967 we step into our power and embrace it and say, Fuck it, this is how I am. 00:31:31.227 --> 00:31:33.777 Then you stop hearing you're too much. 00:31:34.347 --> 00:31:37.827 You know, because then you've learned to, to channel that power and 00:31:37.827 --> 00:31:40.977 that energy into the right places. 00:31:41.027 --> 00:31:42.197 and, and that falls away. 00:31:42.197 --> 00:31:44.837 It's been years since I've heard "you're too much". 00:31:44.957 --> 00:31:48.557 But I used to hear it a lot and I think because as I've gotten older, I've grown 00:31:48.557 --> 00:31:51.597 more comfortable building the right boat and making sure the right crew 00:31:51.597 --> 00:31:54.837 is on board, like putting your energy in there, all of the right places. 00:31:54.842 --> 00:31:56.217 It all kind of comes back to that. 00:31:56.222 --> 00:32:01.437 So, um, RSD is something we have but barely scratched the surface on. 00:32:01.487 --> 00:32:05.757 You know, I think I've told you this before, Matt, that becoming your friend, 00:32:05.757 --> 00:32:09.537 one of the early things is that you always made me feel seen, heard, and understood 00:32:09.537 --> 00:32:11.607 in ways that others before had not. 00:32:12.087 --> 00:32:14.787 I think it's because you and I both have ADHD, so you kind of 00:32:14.792 --> 00:32:16.917 naturally knew what I needed. 00:32:16.937 --> 00:32:20.387 But like I, I, I think when you begin to place more people like that in your 00:32:20.387 --> 00:32:24.778 life, the RSD can fade away because you're constantly surrounded by 00:32:24.783 --> 00:32:26.807 people who know both how to treat you. 00:32:26.807 --> 00:32:30.587 And then you grow that confidence to not have to have as much validation, 00:32:31.047 --> 00:32:33.052 as earlier versions of you required. 00:32:33.727 --> 00:32:36.517 Matt: From what I know, I don't know a whole lot, but from what I know so 00:32:36.517 --> 00:32:40.652 far, the, the experience of getting older is, both accepting things, 00:32:40.652 --> 00:32:48.904 but also trying to find that path of understanding and, and ease maybe where 00:32:48.904 --> 00:32:50.584 you're like, I could keep fighting this. 00:32:50.624 --> 00:32:51.644 I could keep fighting. 00:32:51.854 --> 00:32:55.694 I could fight to be this, there's lots of things worth fighting for. 00:32:55.934 --> 00:33:00.644 But then I think maybe part of wisdom is that's not worth fighting for anymore. 00:33:01.244 --> 00:33:02.234 Just not worth it. 00:33:02.766 --> 00:33:07.965 In fact I have, I've been fighting so hard to be, with this person or to learn 00:33:07.970 --> 00:33:13.785 this, that I am ignoring the awesomeness that has been next to me the whole time. 00:33:13.785 --> 00:33:14.055 Right? 00:33:14.055 --> 00:33:15.285 Like things like that. 00:33:15.925 --> 00:33:21.435 But I love how, I love how we can find the way that it, it connects to D&D. 00:33:22.625 --> 00:33:23.705 I love it when that happens. 00:33:23.928 --> 00:33:26.568 Alison: And there's the answer to the question that I rolled 00:33:26.628 --> 00:33:28.698 for, which is still hilarious. 00:33:29.079 --> 00:33:32.259 Of all hundred questions I could have been asked today, it was that one. 00:33:32.919 --> 00:33:35.849 Do any of my characters have ADHD? 00:33:36.069 --> 00:33:39.099 Most of them probably, but definitely Chimerical. 00:33:41.304 --> 00:33:41.634 Matt: Yeah. 00:33:41.634 --> 00:33:43.224 But you would hope so though, right? 00:33:43.224 --> 00:33:46.310 You would hope that, like we've said many times, I think everybody 00:33:46.310 --> 00:33:47.810 should play a role playing game. 00:33:47.810 --> 00:33:53.229 I think every single human being should, because it's you as your dream self. 00:33:53.259 --> 00:33:59.079 It's you as your best and your worst all at once. 00:33:59.179 --> 00:34:02.569 And, and so when it, you know, when it, when it actually rears its head in 00:34:02.569 --> 00:34:05.809 Chimerical's case, you're like, wow, cool. 00:34:05.809 --> 00:34:08.009 That's, that's deep man. 00:34:08.279 --> 00:34:12.557 You're experiencing RSD in real life and in game. 00:34:13.212 --> 00:34:14.032 Alison: Well, on that note. 00:34:14.482 --> 00:34:17.526 Matt: Well, on that note, thanks for letting me be in your podcast, Alison. 00:34:17.860 --> 00:34:19.130 Alison: Oh, oh oh! 00:34:19.790 --> 00:34:20.780 We're turning tables. 00:34:20.780 --> 00:34:21.620 Here we are. 00:34:22.664 --> 00:34:23.834 You are welcome. 00:34:24.044 --> 00:34:26.354 It is a pleasure to record a podcast with you. 00:34:26.834 --> 00:34:27.494 Matt: Thank you. 00:34:27.854 --> 00:34:32.484 I see and cherish your RSD. 00:34:32.924 --> 00:34:38.304 Alison: The light in me, Namaste-RSD, 00:34:38.804 --> 00:34:40.474 Matt: Namaste-RSD. 00:34:42.014 --> 00:34:46.644 Alison: My RSD sees and bows to the RSD in you. 00:34:47.024 --> 00:34:48.214 I love it when we devolve. 00:34:48.214 --> 00:34:51.494 We have these nice serious heart to hearts, and then we say things like that. 00:34:51.514 --> 00:34:53.524 And that's the way it is and always will be. 00:34:53.944 --> 00:34:54.784 Matt: And always will be. 00:34:55.054 --> 00:34:56.824 Amen. 00:34:59.284 --> 00:35:00.814 All right, well, I guess until next time. 00:35:01.384 --> 00:35:03.184 All the Nightmother's people say: 00:35:04.004 --> 00:35:09.014 Alison: Amen. 00:35:16.816 --> 00:35:17.686 Bidi Bidi Bidi. 00:35:17.746 --> 00:35:19.216 Hello, my friends. 00:35:19.246 --> 00:35:19.906 This is Matt. 00:35:19.975 --> 00:35:24.085 Just to say, thank you so much for listening to this freaking podcast. 00:35:24.115 --> 00:35:28.369 And I wanted to mention that it really does help us. 00:35:28.399 --> 00:35:35.389 If you leave a review in your podcast or catcher of choice, it does actually help. 00:35:35.539 --> 00:35:36.139 It's strange. 00:35:37.459 --> 00:35:38.329 and also that we have a 00:35:38.729 --> 00:35:39.969 Matt: patreon. 00:35:39.996 --> 00:35:43.836 That you can join for just a, a couple of dollars a month. 00:35:43.836 --> 00:35:49.176 And that really helps us to, you know, plan this stuff out and, and 00:35:49.256 --> 00:35:52.946 to move words and sound bites around. 00:35:53.636 --> 00:35:54.326 Like you do. 00:35:54.532 --> 00:35:58.766 We also have an incredible Discord server where everyone is welcome. 00:35:59.576 --> 00:36:05.816 Or we talk about all manner of things related to ADHD and D and D and T V. 00:36:05.866 --> 00:36:09.286 All kinds of nerdy things, the people are so fun and in this 00:36:09.316 --> 00:36:11.686 RSD riddled world we live in. 00:36:12.136 --> 00:36:15.316 It's just so nice to hang out with people that. 00:36:15.356 --> 00:36:15.986 Got your back. 00:36:16.226 --> 00:36:17.666 So please join us. 00:36:17.880 --> 00:36:18.510 See you next time.