Sharkey's Place
"Neil, the Painter, Comes to Town"
Season 1, Episode 7
By Rick Regan
November 11, 2021

CHAPTER 1 : SHARKEY’S PLACE - EVENING
The day has been clear and crisp, autumn coming fast now. But
the bright light has meant good fishing and the place is full
of deckhands, captains and fish people.
Sandra and Kirini are working the room, slinging beers, spicy
potato chips and wisecracks. Sandra is on point tonight, in
chunky heels, lime-green tights and a snug faux-cashmere pink
top. She gets lots of attention and lots of tips.
SANDRA
(swinging by the bar)
Two harps, table six.
KIRINI
Two ice-cold Harpoons. Coming up!
She pulls two bottles out of the ice and sets them up. Sandra
swings back and takes the beer to table six.
SANDRA
Two Harpoons. One! Two!
KIRINI
(to Sandra)
More chips?
SANDRA
More chips!
Sandra swings by and picks up several bowls of spicy potato
chips and distributes them to the tables. Many customers leer
as she bends over to put the chips on the table.
KIRINI
Are you laying it on too thick, Sandy?
SANDRA
(to the customers)
Tips are appreciated, boys!
CUSTOMERS
(cheer!)
Hooray!
Sandra swivels away and the dance begins again. More beer,
more leers, more cheers.
The evening moves on and the crowd thins out but regulars are
hanging in there.
The door swings open and a man comes in. Neil Ruffin. He is
tall-ish, 38, with salt-and-pepper hair, fit-and-trim and in
clothes that have been well fitted.
NEIL
Is this seat open?
KIRINI
Been saving it for you. What took you?
NEIL
Excuse me?
KIRINI
(laughing)
Just jerking you. What can I get you?
NEIL
What’s the local?
KIRINI
Beer? Most fellas take Harpoon.
NEIL
OK. I’ll take two.
KIRINI
Bringing a friend?
NEIL
No,
KIRINI
(confused)
OK.
She sets two bottles of beer on the counter and flips the
caps.
Neil takes the first one, drinks the whole bottle in one
swig.
NEIL
Can I get a glass?
KIRINI
Uh, sure.
She sets up a glass and he pours the second beer into the
glass.
NEIL
First one goes down quick.
KIRINI
I see.
Sandra swings by, noticing Neil.
SANDRA
(to Kirini)
Two Harps, table six.
KIRINI
Coming up.
(loudly)
Ice cold Harpoons!
She sets the bottles on the counter and Sandra swings by to
pick them up.
The activity continues, more beer, more chips, more leers at
Sandra. Neil nurses his beer.
KIRINI
Can I get you anything else? Chips? House-made! Myra
puts a special mix of salt and spices in.
NEIL
They certainly are popular.
KIRINI
People love them.
NEIL
Do you do cocktails?
KIRINI
Mostly we do beer but... for you... we can try.
What’s your fancy?
NEIL
An Old Fashioned, or a Manhattan?
KIRINI
Whatever you like.
NEIL
Do you, I know this is odd... have absinthe by
chance?
KIRINI
The Green Lady? That’s your stuff?
NEIL
If not, I understand.
KIRINI
No, No, I have it. Don’t get much call. In fact
nobody has ever ordered absinthe. But I have it. I
like it, so I get it.
NEIL
This is your place?
KIRINI
I got it from my uncle.
NEIL
Sharkey?
KIRINI
No, Sharkey’s dead.
NEIL
Oh.
KIRINI
I got it from my uncle Georgios. He won it from
Sharkey in a poker game.
NEIL
Ah, I see. And your uncle?
KIRINI
He’s dead.
NEIL
Oh. Um... So, you, here, now?
KIRINI
Three years. Just really getting my legs under me
now. Good cook. Regular customers.
NEIL
Yes, yes. I see.
KIRINI
(pauses)
And you?
NEIL
Me?
KIRINI
(nods)
NEIL
(looks at her)
KIRINI
(stares back)
NEIL
Me? Well, you know.
KIRINI
Sure. But tell me more.
NEIL
I’m looking for a place, to work for the winter. A
workshop.
KIRINI
Like a shed, with woodworking tools, for boatbuilding
and the like?
NEIL
No, I’m a painter.
KIRINI
A house painter? Doesn’t seem the season.
NEIL
No, like an artist-painter. I love the light here in
the winter. I need a space to work.
KIRINI
Artist, like landscapes, rocky shores? I get it.
NEIL
No,
KIRINI
Usually the plein-air people come in the summer.
NEIL
I do more personal work.
KIRINI
I see.
Sandra comes by, sees Neil. She stands in front of him,
presenting herself.
SANDRA
You need anything, sailor?
Neil respects the effort and smiles.
NEIL
(a la John Wayne)
What you got, sister, I’m buyin’! I got a silver
dollar, says we’re gonna be friends!
SANDRA
(in John Wayne patois)
Listen Hondo, you come all the way out across the
Pecos to see a filly swinging hips? They’re ten-for-adime in the cities back east. Could have saved
yourself a trip!
NEIL
Oh, it’s the flat country of these parts, prairie,
brushland, that gives a fellow solid-appreciation of
a curve... of a horse, or a woman. Solid
appreciation.
SANDRA
Well you can keep your solid-appreciation in your
pants, sailor. Keep it between the channel markers
and we’ll have a fine old time.
(winks)
NEIL
Aye-aye, captain.
Sandra breaks off and swivels through the tables.
KIRINI
You wanted a cocktail? With Absinthe?
NEIL
Oh, right. Rye and Absinthe. Splash of bitters.
KIRINI
OK.
NEIL
Shaken and strained?
KIRINI
Got it. What do you call that?
NEIL
It’s a Dry Sarazac. I prefer to omit the sugar.
Kirini mixes, shakes and strains the drink. She sets it up.
KIRINI
One Dry Sarazac!
NEIL
Lovely!
He sips and enjoys.
KIRINI
So, you paint?
NEIL
I come for the winter light. I’m looking for a place
to work, and a place to stay for a few months, for
winter.
KIRINI
Well, Glenn’s apartment might be available.
(to Sandra)
Sandra, you know what’s up with Glenn? Is his
apartment available?
SANDRA
(looking at Neil)
Well, Gordo said that Glenn was down in Portland, but
keeping the place here so he could see Ethan and
Myra. But he might sub it.
KIRINI
You think?
SANDRA
Maybe. Ask Myra in the morning.
KIRINI
Right.
SANDRA
(to Neil)
Is this for you?
NEIL
Yes. But I have to say, you are extraordinary. Have
you done any modelling?
SANDRA
(surprised)
Oh! Well, I have always thought about modelling. A
gem in the rough, I think.
NEIL
I think so too. I paint and I’m looking for models.
SANDRA
There’s a lot of stinky fish in that business. Have
you got the whiff of stink?
NEIL
Certainly not. My work is respectable. My buyers are
upstanding.
KIRINI
What kind of work is it?
NEIL
I do nude, figure-studies.
SANDRA
Nude?!
KIRINI
I figured!
NEIL
No, no! Look.
He fishes out his phone and shows images of his pictures.
Generally they are a woman, nude, in a garish red or orange
background, but there is a respectful repose to the models,
looking directly at the viewer.
KIRINI
They look nice.
SANDRA
Kinda fat, some of ‘em.
NEIL
My buyers prefer a more authentic representation of
the female form, the specific female’s form, and not
over-idealized.
SANDRA
Weird!
NEIL
They want the nude aunt, not the trafficked-teen.
KIRINI
What a world.
NEIL
Maybe, I don’t know... would you want to do a
session? I pay, of course.
SANDRA
Now you’re talking.
NEIL
Five-hundred for an individual session.
SANDRA
Any funny business?
NEIL
No, No funny business. Just takes an afternoon.
SANDRA
You swear?
NEIL
I’m gay.
KIRINI
Oh!
SANDRA
Oh.
NEIL
So... can you help me find a place.
KIRINI
I’ll talk to Gordon and see what he says.
SANDRA
I’ll keep my ears open.
NEIL
Well then, I will finish this.
(he slurps drink down)
Pay my bill and be back tomorrow.
He lays down a twenty dollar bill.
KIRINI
OK.
NEIL
That cover it.
KIRINI
Two beers and a cocktail, it’s close but it covers.
Neil lays down another twenty.
NEIL
For the tip jar. Goodnight.
SANDRA
There we go.
Neil gets up and exits.
KIRINI
What do you make of that?
SANDRA
I don’t know about him but I’d do a lot for five
hundred for one afternoon.
KIRINI
Would you?
SANDRA
Sure. No tax. Wad of bills. Just walking around
money. Maybe some new heels, or a silk slip. You
think?
KIRINI
Sure, yeah. Get ahead of Christmas.
SANDRA
Take advantage of the sales. In cash.
KIRINI
(laughs)
You’re a piece of work, doll!
SANDRA
Let’s crack ‘em! Two Harps, table six!
KIRINI
Cold beer! Coming up!
CHAPTER 2 : SHARKEY’S PLACE - LUNCH - NEXT DAY
The lunch is crowded and busy.
Sandra is in jewel tones, royal-blue velvet trousers and a
emerald-green tank top, despite the chilly air.
MYRA
Got a special, coming up!
KIRINI
Take up the hot one!
SANDRA
(swings by)
Special up!
Sandra takes the plate, a mixed platter of sausages, grilled
green peppers and onions, and fresh buns on the side. She
takes them to a table, where the customers share the platter.
Aiden and Caiden come in, looking lost, looking for a table.
AIDEN
Are we late?
CAIDEN
Blocked? For a table?
AIDEN
I didn’t expect this.
CAIDEN
We have to face facts.
AIDEN
Sharkey’s is busy for lunch.
CAIDEN
Facts is facts.
AIDEN
We have to face it.
SANDRA
You boys lost? Lost boys?
AIDEN
No but...
CAIDEN
You got a table?
KIRINI
Boys, over here! Just cleared table six.
SANDRA
Come on. We’ll squeeze you in.
KIRINI
You’re late. You got a lot going on at the Inky
Squid?
SANDRA
Taking your time? You might miss out.
AIDEN
It’s busy.
CAIDEN
We’re prepping. You know?
AIDEN
Cleaning. Chopping.
CAIDEN
Breading. Boiling.
AIDEN
The whole show.
CAIDEN
We’re ready to go.
AIDEN
But it’s a big night.
CAIDEN
We’ve got high-rollers coming!
AIDEN
Top Class!
SANDRA
Who’s top-class, coming to Milbridge? And not coming
here?
AIDEN
There’s this guy, from Philly.
CAIDEN
A famous painter.
AIDEN
Come up all the way.
CAIDEN
To have clams at the Inky Squid.
SANDRA
Is that what he wants?
AIDEN
Yeah. I talked to him.
SANDRA
Did you?
CAIDEN
Yeah. He says he wants to do some work around here,
painting and the like.
AIDEN
I said, the Squid could use a coat.
CAIDEN
So he’s “taking it under advisement”.
AIDEN
So that’s good, right?
CAIDEN
The owner, Turbo, he said he knew his work.
AIDEN
Seen it in Philly.
CAIDEN
And said, humor the guy. See if you can soak him.
AIDEN
So we humor.
CAIDEN
And soak.
SANDRA
You guys are class, you know that? Reeling him in?
AIDEN
Oh sure.
CAIDEN
He’s coming by tonight.
AIDEN
We’ve got to be tip-top.
SANDRA
But it gets hot in the kitchen, right?
CAIDEN
Boilin’!
AIDEN
Steamin’!
SANDRA
Take a tip from a pro, show him your physique.
CAIDEN
Physike?
AIDEN
What’s that?
SANDRA
Your form.
CAIDEN
Form?
SANDRA
Flash your guns. Your abs, ya chowds! Take off your
shirts so he knows you’re working hard. Let him see
the sweat!
AIDEN
Aw yeah! All flex!
CAIDEN
No flab!
They both automatically flex their arms and chest, flexing
muscles.
SANDRA
He’s going to love it!
AIDEN
You’re the best, Sand-O!
CAIDEN
The beast!
SANDRA
Maybe. But are we having the special? You hungry?
AIDEN
Hungah-monstah!
CAIDEN
Stahvin! What’s the special?
SANDRA
She’s calling it the World Series Dog.
AIDEN
She’s steaming hot dogs?
CAIDEN
Or boiling? Makes a difference.
AIDEN
That doesn’t sound good.
CAIDEN
There’s hot dogs everywhere. Gas station.
SANDRA
This is not a gas-station hot-dog. People love it.
You see how crowded?
AIDEN
It’s true.
CAIDEN
A squeeze to get in.
SANDRA
You think that’s for Honk ‘R’ Stop wieners?
AIDEN
Just saying.
CAIDEN
Sounds weird. Weak.
SANDRA
Well, your choice. In or out? World Series Dog or
just a beer and goodbye?
AIDEN
OK. OK.
CAIDEN
G’head. Special.
AIDEN
Me too.
SANDRA
There we go. Harpoon and a coffee?
AIDEN
Cold.
CAIDEN
Hot!
SANDRA
And black. Coming up.
Sandra swivels away to put in the order.
Sandra delivers drinks and then sends trays of food for other
tables. The boys look on, enviously.
AIDEN
She’s killing me!
CAIDEN
Why do I deserve this?
AIDEN
To see, but not taste?
CAIDEN
I’m suffering!
AIDEN
The struggle is real!
Sandra swings by with another tray then, finally, brings a
platter for Aiden and Caiden.
SANDRA
Specials Up. World Series Dog.
AIDEN
What is it?
CAIDEN
What are we supposed to do?
SANDRA
There are four sausages, four rolls, peppers, onions,
and - here - some mustard. Build your dog. Go ahead!
AIDEN
Wait, she made four kinds of hot dogs?
CAIDEN
For one platter?
AIDEN
To split?
CAIDEN
And the buns?
SANDRA
She bakes the buns. Still warm.
Aiden and Caiden select sausages, add toppings and take
bites.
AIDEN
Oh! This is not right!
CAIDEN
Why does she do this?
AIDEN
It’s too good?
CAIDEN
The bread!
AIDEN
The onions!
CAIDEN
It’s... I don’t have words.
AIDEN
The lexicon of gastronomy does not encompass these
dogs.
Sandra and Caiden look at Aiden.
SANDRA
Myra! Hey, Myra. The boys, they are worried about the
special.
Myra pokes her head out of the kitchen. She is scowling, and
comes charging out toward their table.
MYRA
What’s the matter with you two? I make three-types of
sausage, myself. I bake the buns. That’s pickled
onions - grilled! And you got a beef?!
AIDEN
No, no!
CAIDEN
It’s amazing!
AIDEN
It’s not right, you cook this good!
CAIDEN
You’ve got an unfair advantage!
MYRA
I went to cooking school. I learned the techniques,
the processes. The proper way to run a kitchen. And
you square-heads want to criticize my dogs?!
AIDEN
No, no! Myra, you are too good!
CAIDEN
Why do you stay here? You should do better.
AIDEN
You could work at the Harbortown Hyatt.
CAIDEN
Go big-time!
MYRA
I was the sous-chef at the Hyatt Harbortown. If I’d
of stayed, yeah, I’d be in charge. But here I am,
making hot dogs for you two.
AIDEN
Aw!
CAIDEN
That’s tough!
MYRA
You don’t like ‘em. Give ‘em back!
She grabs at the plates. They defend the plates and keep them
out of her reach.
AIDEN
Come on!
CAIDEN
We ordered!
AIDEN
I want to finish!
CAIDEN
It’s the best.
AIDEN
You’re the beast!
CAIDEN
Your talent is wasted on these no-account deckhands.
AIDEN
Nobody knows how good you are.
CAIDEN
Except us.
AIDEN
Except us.
MYRA
(laughs)
Ok boys, enjoy the hotdogs. Thanks for coming in.
Myra goes back to the kitchen.
SANDRA
Two specials, table six!
MYRA
Two specials, coming up!
CHAPTER 3 : SHARKEY’S PLACE - EVENING
Myra and Gordon are sitting at the bar. Myra is having
dinner, a sausage on a bun and her potato chips. Gordon is
sipping a beer.
MYRA
You want a sausage, Gordo? I’ve got a few left.
GORDON
Maybe later.
MYRA
Suit yourself. You fish today?
GORDON
Kept the boat in today. Should have been out there.
Calm water.
MYRA
What kept you in?
GORDON
A fellow came by looking for a shed to rent for the
winter. I told him I could clear out a spare
boathouse for him if he could pay upfront.
MYRA
What’d he say?
GORDON
We agreed on the price and he paid in cash. So, I
cleaned it out.
MYRA
What’s he need it for? Is he storing a boat?
GORDON
Said he was a painter, needed a studio.
MYRA
Oh THAT guy! Yeah, he was looking for an apartment so
I called Glenn. He said he’d sublet it for three
months.
GORDON
How is old Glenn doing? He in Portland?
MYRA
Yep. He said he got a job with an insurance company.
Something about going around inspecting boats.
GORDON
Hmm! Good for him.
MYRA
Now maybe he’ll make something of himself.
The door swings open and Neil comes in. He waves to Gordon.
NEIL
Captain. I didn’t expect to see you here.
GORDON
I got that shed all cleared out for you. Move in
whenever you want. There’s no lock on the door though
so if you want to lock up, you’ll need to get one.
NEIL
Like a combination lock?
GORDON
Sure. Doesn’t matter though, the back door doesn’t
have a latch anyway.
NEIL
I’ll look at it tomorrow.
MYRA
Are you the artist guy, looking for an apartment?
NEIL
That’s me. Neil Ruffin, artist. And you are?
MYRA
I’m Myra, chef.
NEIL
Pleased to meet you. May I join you?
MYRA
Have a seat. Want a hot dog?
NEIL
Thanks, I just ate.
MYRA
Where?
NEIL
The Inky Squid. Do you know it?
GORDON
Ha! Of course.
MYRA
You see the knuckle-heads running the fryers? They
come here for lunch most days.
NEIL
Well, see, that’s the funny part. They were taking
orders and cooking, but they weren’t wearing shirts.
It was like a scene out of a Tom Cruise movie.
MYRA
No shirts, running the fryers?
NEIL
Didn’t seem a very responsible way to do it. But, I
will say, the scallops were excellent.
MYRA
(laughs)
Those two. I tell ya. Say, by the way, I talked to my
ex-husband about his apartment. He said he will
sublet for three months.
NEIL
In town?
MYRA
Just up the street. Two-hundred and fifty a month.
Interested?
NEIL
What kind of shape is it in?
MYRA
Well, Glenn is an alcoholic, and a writer, and kind
of a hermit, so...
NEIL
It’s a mess.
MYRA
Yes.
NEIL
But I don’t have any other options so I’ll take it.
MYRA
Great.
NEIL
I mean, I’ll look at it tomorrow and if it looks OK,
I’ll take it.
MYRA
OK. What kind of art do you do?
NEIL
Nudes mostly.
GORDON
Nudes? And you sell those?
NEIL
It is a peculiar market.
GORDON
How’d you get into that?
NEIL
Well a friend was telling me about this speakeasy
he’d gone to. Said it was fun. So the next day, I go
down this alley, knock on the door and say, “Do you
have the Green Lady?”
MYRA
Green lady?
NEIL
It means absinthe, which is a green drink. And the
guy opens the door and there is a room with a bar and
some tables. No sign, just a number on the door. That
was actually the name of the place, 411, nothing
else.
MYRA
So what happened?
NEIL
I had a drink and talk to the owner. I look around
and the walls are bare brick. I say, you need some
art in here.
GORDON
What’d he say?
NEIL
I showed him a few pictures of my paintings and the
next day he came to the studio, well... my apartment.
I was still working at an ad agency at the time. This
was a few years ago. Anyway, he sees this nude I had
done with a friend and he liked it. But he said he
wanted it brighter. So instead of the wood paneling
in the background, I did a couple with just red or
orange backgrounds. He loved them. He bought six.
Then he opened a new place and bought some more.
MYRA
They are a real hit, are they?
NEIL
Locally they get associated with the speakeasy world,
which is kind of an arty bunch, so people started
tracking me down to do ones for their lofts and
studio apartments.
MYRA
Of the same model, the same girl?
NEIL
Well, that was the funny thing. The women wanted ones
of themselves or their girlfriends, and the men
wanted ones of their wives or mistresses. It’s
production, so I have to keep working.
MYRA
Sandra said she was going to do it.
NEIL
I hope so.
GORDON
I’d buy that one, in a flat minute.
MYRA
So there you go. How much are they?
NEIL
Well, I have an agent that handles the billing but
generally they go for two-thousand each.
MYRA
Holy cow! Two grand?
GORDON
I’d buy two. Front and back.
MYRA
Ha! Ya salty old perv!
GORDON
My sins are my own.
MYRA
Can I ask how you got started?
NEIL
Well, I went to art school in Philadelphia. I grew up
across the river, in New Jersey. And when I got out,
the economy was in the tank and it was after nineeleven. So I joined the Navy. See the world.
GORDON
So you are a bluewater man?
NEIL
Oh No, I had a romantic notion about life aboard a
big ship but I was in logistics and supply. I got
stationed to Iraq, in Basra on the coast. It was an
office job but I learned a lot. And I saw a lot. And
one day I got captured by some insurgents. They
wanted a ransom for a US sailor. There were three of
us, me and two buddies.
MYRA
That must have been terrifying.
NEIL
So the Marines were on a tear at the time and they
tracked us down, I still don’t know how. They came
in, guns blazing, killed all the baddies and grabbed
us into a Humvee. We went blasting through the
neighborhood and back to the base. But I was deaf
because of the flash grenades they used, and
concussed from them too. So I was just a zombie for a
while.
GORDON
Wow.
NEIL
When I got out of the Navy, I just wanted to get away
from the noise and the crowds. I had a girlfriend at
the time and painted her, over and over.
GORDON
What happened to her?
NEIL
She wanted to have a bunch of kids, felt it was her
duty to mankind, like a superpower.
MYRA
And you didn’t?
NEIL
That’s when I realized I really am gay. It took me a
while but when I came out, well that’s when my art
career took off.
MYRA
And her?
NEIL
She’s married with four kids. Another on the way.
MYRA
Wow. Superwoman.
NEIL
She got what she wanted. And I did too. Now I have
the time and money to go to places that are quiet and
have good light. If I can find a few models, or even
one very good one, I can make a lot of pictures.
MYRA
All in the same style?
NEIL
I work on the two-dimensionality of the background,
contrasting with the three-dimensionality of the
model. But I want to play with some color contrasts
in this winter light.
GORDON
Easier said than done. Where can you get supplies?
NEIL
I brought some canvases and some paint but I’ll have
to go into Bangor or Portland, I guess.
MYRA
Sounds promising.
NEIL
Listen, I’m going to head back to the Red Barn. I
just wanted to check on the apartment. I’ll come
around tomorrow and get the details.
MYRA
OK, hun. Stay for lunch. I’m making cheesesteaks. Sam
the Butcher got me some nice top loin.
NEIL
I would but I’m a vegetarian, plus some fish. Sounds
good though.
GORDON
Because of the war?
NEIL
You know the slogan, ‘meat is murder’?
MYRA
From that record.
NEIL
Right. But I saw murder-murder. Victims of torture,
rape, artillery. And the horror, well, I just feel
better about having a scallop instead of a cow.
MYRA
I understand. So, come back tomorrow and I’ll get it
sorted with Glenn. We’ll get you set up.
NEIL
Alright. Good night.
Neil exits.
MYRA
What do you make of that?
GORDON
I think I’ll sell one of my small boats.
MYRA
What? Why?
GORDON
To come up with the cash to get a few Sandra’s for my
boat.
MYRA
Really Gordo? You’re sick in the head.
GORDON
I’m going to go home and dream about it. Good night.
Gordon puts money on the bar and leaves.
Myra sits by herself at the bar finishing her hot dog.
MYRA
Men.
END