Show Notes
- Storytime
- I want to take you back, back in time to a hot June night in 1980 and tell you a story about that time. [cue sound effect] I’m 11 years old and I'm recovering from a third spinal surgery after two previous cervical fusions failed. I’m feeling terrible. I'm in a dark, cold hospital room in a university hospital, just out of post-op and back on the pediatric unit 104 miles from home, immobilized in a full body cast and halo brace, recovering from puking from the general anesthetic, afraid that this surgery failed like the other two. My confidence in surgeons is at a low ebb. The room smells of antiseptic and isolation.
- Back in those unenlightened days, visiting hours were really limited, so my parents aren't there. But I'm not alone. My sick toddler roommate is lying face down in his crib, sobbing inconsolably. No one comes for him. “Nothing can be done for him -- this will pass,” the professionals had told me when I pressed the call button for him. So I don’t bother with the call button anymore. I can’t think of anything to do for him either. I feel like he does. We're both miserable. I am in the darkest hour of my life to that point. I'm beginning to wonder if the rest of my life will be a series of horrible, painful, failed surgeries, nighttime isolation and helplessness.
- So what does little Petey Guy do at the point? My aunt Marlene always used to call me Petey Guy when I was that age. Petey Guy starts to sing. Yes, that's right, I start singing. Do you know what I was singing?
- Was the 1959 Julie Andrews version of "My Favorite Things" from The Sound of Music? No it wasn't.
- The Beatles" 1969 classic "Here comes the Sun" by George Harrison? It was not.
- Was it the 1977 show tune "The Sun will Come out Tomorrow" from the musical Annie? Nope. Guess again.
- Gloria Gaynor's smash hit in 1977 "I will survive"? Wrong.
- "Don't Stop" by Fleetwood Mac, also in 1977? No.
- How about "Don't Stop Believin" by Journey -- that was it, right. Come on, people. "Don't Stop Believin" came out in 1981. We're in 1980. So chronologically, that wouldn't make sense.
- No, I was singing a different song, a darker song than any of those, a 1970 song with lyrics written by 14 year old Michael Altman, put to music by his father Robert Altman and sung by Johnny Mandel. A song written for the 1970 movie MASH. Some of you may be following this now. I was singing a song called Suicide is Painless.
- You're probably familiar with the tune. After the surprise success of the movie, Robert Altman chose it to be the instrumental opening for the hugely popular MASH comedy-drama series that ran on CBS from 1972 to 1983. So even though you know the tune, you might not be familiar with the gaunt, haunting, despairing lyrics. Here's the opening stanza:
- Through early morning fog I see
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Visions of the things to be
The pains that are withheld for me
I realize and I can see
That suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please
- So a little backstory. My Grandpa Roberts had a magnus chord organ
- 1960's very popular, lots on the second hand market. Chords press a button with left hand, keyboard with the right. We had one too.
- Grandpa Roberts had a songbook of popular tune to play on the Magnus Chord Organ --- including Suicide is Painless
- I recognized the theme from MASH, and it was one of very few songs I learned to play on the Magnus Chord Organ, and I sang the lyrics as I played. But they didn't particularly resonate with me until that post-surgical night in 1980, in the dark, sick, and alone with the crying toddler when my 11 year old heart was so burdened and breaking.
- Nobody noticed my singing about suicide in the night -- my toddler roommate didn't seem to care. And it wasn't until almost 40 years later that I ever told anyone about it.
- Intro
- Welcome to the podcast Interior Integration for Catholics, thank you for being here with me.
- I no longer go by "Petey Guy," I am better known as clinical psychologist Peter Malinoski
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- The reason this Interior Integration for Catholics podcasts exists is to help you toward loving God, neighbor and yourself in an ordered, healthy, holy way. -- It's about tolerating being loved, and about loving about living out the two great commandments to the hilt, with all of our being, it's about overcoming the natural obstacles to reaching more of our potential, both in the natural and the spiritual realms.
- Because we take on the tough topics in this podcast, today we are getting into the difficult and complex topic of suicide/ Suicide. Even the word can send shivers up the spine.
- This episode is titled IIC 76 The Black of Suicide -- What Do the Secular Experts Say? and it's released on July 12, 2021
- Today we are looking at the best of current psychological and sociological research --
- Episode 73. St. Augustine De Doctrina Christiana. Chapter 40 is a theological text on how to interpret and teach the Scriptures.
- Moreover, if those who are called philosophers, and especially the Platonists, have said anything that is true and in harmony with our faith, we are not only not to shrink from it, but to claim it for our own use.
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- all branches of heathen learning have not only false and superstitious fancies and heavy burdens of unnecessary toil, which we ought to abhor and avoid; but they contain also liberal instruction which is better adapted to the use of the truth, and some most excellent precepts of morality; and some truths in regard even to the worship of the One God are found among them. Now these are, so to speak, their gold and silver, which they did not create themselves, but dug out of the mines of God's providence which are everywhere scattered abroad
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- In future episode, we will bring in a lot more of the wisdom of the Catholic Church .
- And in future episodes, we will bring in more Internal Family Systems thinking about our parts and suicide, fascinating stuff there
- And in future episodes we will be discussing the impact of suicide on parents, spouses, siblings, children and friends who experienced suicide through the death of a loved one.
- So we are at the beginning of a series of episodes on suicide. This is a critical topic -- A 2017 Rasmussen Reports national telephone and online survey of 1000 American Adults finds that 55% know someone who has committed suicide.
- One from my 8th grade graduating class
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- One for two classes behind me in high school
- Let's do an etymological analysis of the word suicide -- you know how much I like to break down words on this podcast, so it's Time for Word Lore [cue sound effect]
- Where does the English word Suicide come from?
- "deliberate killing of oneself," 1650s, from Modern Latin suicidium "suicide," from Latin sui "of oneself" (genitive of se "self") + -cidium "a killing," from caedere "to slay" or to strike oneself.
- How serious is suicide? Lets look the research, let's look at suicide this by the numbers [cue sound effect]
- Fast Facts
- How many suicides worldwide each year? About 800,000.
- About 10 in 100,000 people die each year from suicide
- Worldwide, suicide accounts for 1.4% of all deaths.
- Wide range of suicide rates. 98.3 per 100,000 in Greenland, 1.56 per 100,000 in Jamaica. 63X higher.
- How many suicides in the US? Drawing from CDC and NIMH
- According to the Center for Disease Control in 2020 -- 44.834 recorded suicides
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- 14.5 deaths per 100,000 population
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- US Men more than 3X as likely as US women to suicide
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- Women 1.4X likely as men to attempt suicide -- use less lethal means
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- Long trend up from 1999 to 2017, leveled off and trending down over last three years.
- How do people suicide
- Just a hair over 50% use a firearm
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- 29% are by suffocation
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- 13% are by poisoning
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- Catholics and suicide
- Data from over the last century consistently reveal that Catholics have a lower suicide rate than Protestants. Not a huge effect, but a persistent one, going all the way back to early social science measurement efforts in 1897 -- Emile Durkheim's work.. Even when controlling for a lot of variables, the denominational effect persisted. Various factors proposed
- Fear of Hell, mortal sin -- Protestants more accepting of suicide
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- More communitarian approach than individualistic approach to religion and faith
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- Types of Suicide
- Emile Durkheim -- French philosopher and early sociologist in the late 19 and early 20th Century -- principal architect, along with Max Weber of modern social sciences.
- He created a normative theory of suicide focusing on the conditions of group life. Proposing four different types of suicide, which include egoistic, altruistic, anomic, and fatalistic, Durkheim began his theory by plotting social regulation on the x-axis of his chart, and social integration on the y-axis. Drawing from a blog post on the Management Development Institute of Singapore website by Dr Amir Singh from March 30, 2020
- Egoistic suicide corresponds to a low level of social integration. When one is not well integrated into a social group it can lead to a feeling that they have not made a difference in anyone's lives. when a man becomes socially isolated or feels that he has no place in the society he destroys himself. This is the suicide of self-centered person who lacks altruistic feelings and is usually cut off from main stream of the society. It is committed by individuals who are social outcast and see themselves as being alone or an outsider. These individuals are unable to find their own place in society and have problems adjusting to groups. They received little and no social care. Suicide is seen as a solution for them to free themselves from loneliness or excessive individuation.
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- Altruistic suicide corresponds to too much social integration. This occurs when a group dominates the life of an individual to a degree where they feel meaningless to society. Altruistic suicide occurs when social group involvement is too high. Individuals are so well integrated into the group that they are willing to sacrifice their own life in order to fulfil some obligation for the group. Individuals kill themselves for the collective benefit of the group or for the cause that the group believes in. An example is someone who commits suicide for the sake of a religious or political cause, such as the infamous Japanese Kamikaze pilots of World War II, or the hijackers that crashed the airplanes into the World Trade Centre, the Pentagon, and a field in Pennsylvania in 2001. During World War II, Japanese Kamikaze pilots were willing to lay down their own lives for their countries in the hope that they will win the war. These pilots believed in their nation’s cause and were willing to sacrifice their lives. Similarly, suicide bombers around the world were willing to give up their lives in order to make a political or religious statement because they firmly believed in their group’s cause.
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- Anomic suicide occurs when one has an insufficient amount of social regulation. This stems from the sociological term anomie, meaning a sense of aimlessness or despair that arises from the inability to reasonably expect life to be predictable. This type of suicide is due to certain breakdown of social equilibrium, such as, suicide after bankruptcy or after winning a lottery. In other words, anomic suicide takes place in a situation which has cropped up suddenly. Anomic suicide is caused by the lack of social regulation and it occurs during high levels of stress and frustration. Anomic suicide stems from sudden and unexpected changes in situations. For example, when individuals suffer extreme financial loss, the disappointment and stress that individuals face may drive them towards committing suicide as a means of escape.
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- Fatalistic suicide results from too much social regulation. An example of this would be when one follows the same routine day after day. This leads to a belief that there is nothing good to look forward to. Durkheim suggested this was the most popular form of suicide for prisoners. This type of suicide is due to overregulation in society. Under the overregulation of a society, when a servant or slave commits suicide, when a barren woman commits suicide, it is the example of fatalistic suicide. Fatalistic suicide occurs when individuals are kept under tight regulation. These individuals are placed under extreme rules or high expectations are set upon them, which removes a person’s sense of self or individuality. Slavery and persecution are examples of fatalistic suicide where individuals may feel that they are destined by fate to be in such conditions and choose suicide as the only means of escaping such conditions. In South Korea, celebrities are being put under strict regulations. There was a case where, a singer committed suicide due to exhaustion to keep up with society’s rules and regulations. In 2017, celebrity Kim Jonghyun ended his life due to severe depression and the pressure of being in the spotlight as he felt that he could not fulfil the society’s expectations of his performance (Lee, 2018).
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- Inadvertent or accidental Suicide
- Example -- the Choking Game
- AKA Pass out challenge, flatlining, space monkey -- people strangle themselves to experience a euphoric high -- autoerotic asphyxiation. Discussed this briefly in Episode 69.
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- Example -- drug overdose, heroine laced with fentanyl.
- Example -- Driving while impaired with alcohol
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- Indirect Suicide -- not taking care of oneself -- poor health habits
- Smoking
- Poor diabetes management
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- Risky driving
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- Excessive alcohol or drug use
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- Assisted Suicide -- also known as Mercy killing
- Risk Factors for Suicide
- Commonly cited risk factors
- VeryWell Mind By Nancy Schimelpfening reviewing recent research findings February 19, 2021
- Mental Illness
- Most common -- severe depression -- blue deepening into black
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- Bipolar disorder -- the orange
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- Borderline Personality Disorder
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- Eating Disorders
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- Schizophrenia
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- I have a very different understanding of what's going with these conditions.
- Traumatic Stress
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- Substance Use and Impulsivity
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- Loss or a fear of Loss
- Academic failure
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- Being arrested or imprisoned
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- Bullying, shaming, or humiliation, including cyberbullying
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- Financial problems
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- End of a close friendship or romantic relationship
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- Job loss
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- Loss of friends or family acceptance due to revealing your sexual orientation
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- Loss of social status
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- Hopelessness
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- Chronic Pain or Medical Illness
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- Feeling like a burden to others
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- Social Isolation
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- A Cry for Help -- not a cry for attention
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- Accidental Suicide
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- From Suicide Prevention Resource Center website
- Prior suicide attempt(s)
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- Misuse and abuse of alcohol or other drugs
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- Mental disorders, particularly depression and other mood disorders
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- Access to lethal means
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- Knowing someone who died by suicide, particularly a family member
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- Social isolation
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- Chronic disease and disability
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- Lack of access to behavioral health care
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- Precipitating factors are stressful events that can trigger a suicidal crisis in a vulnerable person. Examples include:
- End of a relationship or marriage
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- Death of a loved one
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- An arrest
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- Serious financial problems
- Robin Hood investor
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- Nevada Division of Public and Behavioral Health (DPBH) Office of Suicide Prevention -- Myths and Facts of Youth Suicide
- Sources
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National Mental Health Association
Youth Suicide Prevention Education Program
The Trevor Project
MYTH: Talking about suicide or asking someone if they feel suicidal will encourage suicide attempts.
FACT: Talking about suicide provides the opportunity for communication. Fears shared are more likely to diminish. The first step in encouraging a person with thoughts of suicide to live comes from talking about those feelings. A simple inquiry about whether or not the person is intending to end their life can start the conversation. However, talking about suicide should be carefully managed.
MYTH: Young people who talk about suicide never attempt or die by suicide.
FACT: Talking about suicide can be a plea for help and it can be a late sign in the progression towards a suicide attempt. Those who are most at risk will show other signs apart from talking about suicide. If you have concerns about a young person who talks about suicide:
Encourage him/her to talk further and help them to find appropriate counseling assistance.
Ask if the person are thinking about making a suicide attempt.
Ask if the person has a plan.
Think about the completeness of the plan and how dangerous it is. Do not trivialise plans that seem less complete or less dangerous. All suicidal intentions are serious and must be acknowledged as such.
Encourage the young person to develop a personal safety plan. This can include time spent with others, check-in points with significant adults/ plans for the future.
MYTH: A promise to keep a note unopened and unread should always be kept.
FACT: Where the potential for harm, or actual harm, is disclosed then confidentiality cannot be maintained. A sealed note with the request for the note not to be opened is a very strong indicator that something is seriously amiss. A sealed note is a late sign in the progression towards suicide.
MYTH: Suicide attempts or deaths happen without warning.
FACT: The survivors of a suicide often say that the intention was hidden from them. It is more likely that the intention was just not recognized. These warning signs include: These are really important
The recent suicide, or death by other means, of a friend or relative.
Previous suicide attempts.
Preoccupation with themes of death or expressing suicidal thoughts.
Depression, conduct disorder and problems with adjustment such as substance abuse, particularly when two or more of these are present.
Giving away prized possessions/ making a will or other final arrangements.
Major changes in sleep patterns - too much or too little.
Sudden and extreme changes in eating habits/ losing or gaining weight.
Withdrawal from friends/ family or other major behavioral changes.
Dropping out of group activities.
Personality changes such as nervousness, outbursts of anger, impulsive or reckless behavior, or apathy about appearance or health.
Frequent irritability or unexplained crying.
Lingering expressions of unworthiness or failure.
Lack of interest in the future.
A sudden lifting of spirits, when there have been other indicators, may point to a decision to end the pain of life through suicide.
MYTH: If a person attempts suicide and survives, they will never make a further attempt.
FACT: A suicide attempt is regarded as an indicator of further attempts. It is likely that the level of danger will increase with each further suicide attempt.
MYTH: Once a person is intent on suicide, there is no way of stopping them.
FACT: Suicides can be prevented. People can be helped. Suicidal crises can be relatively short-lived. Immediate practical help such as staying with the person, encouraging them to talk and helping them build plans for the future, can avert the intention to attempt or die by suicide. Such immediate help is valuable at a time of crisis, but appropriate counseling will then be required.
MYTH: People who threaten suicide are just seeking attention.
FACT: All suicide attempts must be treated as though the person has the intent to die. Do not dismiss a suicide attempt as simply being an attention-gaining device. It is likely the young person has tried to gain attention and, therefore, this attention is needed. The attention they get may well save their lives. -- Thinking of it as calling out for help. Pejorative -- drama queen.
MYTH: Suicide is hereditary.
FACT: Although suicide can be over-represented in families, attempts are not genetically inherited. Members of families share the same emotional environment, and the death by suicide of one family member may well raise the awareness of suicide as an option for other family members.
MYTH: Only certain types of people become suicidal. -- My example
FACT: Everyone has the potential for suicide. The evidence shows disposing conditions may lead to either suicide attempts or deaths. It is unlikely those who do not have the predisposing conditions (for example, depression, conduct disorder, substance abuse, feeling of rejection, rage, emotional pain and anger) will die by suicide.
MYTH: Suicide is painless. -- Remember the Song?
FACT: Many suicide methods are very painful. Fictional portrayals of suicide do not usually include the reality of the pain. Maybe 14 year old Michael Altman wasn't entirely correct.
MYTH: Depression and self-destructive behavior are rare in young people.
FACT: Both forms of behavior are common in adolescents. Depression may manifest itself in ways which are different from its manifestation in adults but it is prevalent in children and adolescents. Self-destructive behavior is most likely to be shown for the first time in adolescence and its incidence is on the rise.
MYTH: All young people with thoughts of suicide are depressed.
FACT: While depression is a contributory factor in most suicides, it need not be present for a person to attempt or die by suicide.
MYTH: Marked and sudden improvement in the mental state of an attempter following a suicidal crisis or depressive period signifies the suicide risk is over.
FACT: The opposite may be true. In the three months following an attempt, a young person is at most risk of dying by suicide. The apparent lifting of the problems could mean the person has made a firm decision to die by suicide and feels better because of this decision.
MYTH: Once a young person thinks about suicide, they will forever think about suicide.
FACT: Most young people who are considering suicide will only be that way for a limited period of their lives. Given proper assistance and support, they will probably recover and continue to lead meaningful and happy lives unhindered by suicidal concerns.
MYTH: Young persons thinking about suicide cannot help themselves.
FACT: While contemplating suicide, young people may have a distorted perception of their actual life situation and what solutions are appropriate for them to take. However, with support and constructive assistance from caring and informed people around them, young people can gain full self-direction and self-management in their lives.
MYTH: The only effective intervention for suicide comes from professional psychotherapists with extensive experience in the area.
FACT: All people who interact with adolescents in crisis can help them by way of emotional support and encouragement. Psychotherapeutic interventions also rely heavily on family, and friends providing a network of support.
MYTH: Most young people thinking about suicide never seek or ask for help with their problems.
FACT: Evidence shows that they often tell their school peers of their thoughts and plans. Most adults with thoughts of suicide visit a medical doctor during the three months prior to killing themselves. Adolescents are more likely to 'ask' for help through non-verbal gestures than to express their situation verbally to others.
MYTH: Young people thinking about suicide are always angry when someone intervenes and they will resent that person afterwards.
FACT: While it is common for young people to be defensive and resist help at first, these behaviors are often barriers imposed to test how much people care and are prepared to help. For most adolescents considering suicide, it is a relief to have someone genuinely care about them and to be able to share the emotional burden of their plight with another person. When questioned some time later, the vast majority express gratitude for the intervention.
MYTH: Break-ups in relationships happen so frequently, they do not cause suicide.
FACT: Suicide can be precipitated by the loss of a relationship.
MYTH: Young people thinking about suicide are insane or mentally ill.
FACT: Although adolescents thinking about suicide are likely to be extremely unhappy and may be classified as having a mood disorder, such as depression, most are not legally insane. However, there are small numbers of individuals whose mental state meets psychiatric criteria for mental illness and who need psychiatric help.
MYTH: Most suicides occur in winter months when the weather is poor.
FACT: Seasonal variation data are essentially based on adult suicides, with limited adolescent data available. However, it seems adolescent suicidal behavior is most common during the spring and early summer months.
MYTH: Suicide is much more common in young people from higher (or lower) socioeconomic status (SES) areas.
FACT: The causes of suicidal behavior cut across SES boundaries. While the literature in the area is incomplete, there is no definitive link between SES and suicide. This does not preclude localized tendencies nor trends in a population during a certain period of time.
MYTH: Some people are always suicidal.
FACT: Nobody is suicidal at all times. The risk of suicide for any individual varies across time, as circumstances change. This is why it is important for regular assessments of the level of risk in individuals who are 'at risk'.
MYTH: Every death is preventable.
FACT: No matter how well intentioned, alert and diligent people's efforts may be, there is no way of preventing all suicides from occurring.
MYTH: The main problem with preventive efforts is trying to implement strategies in an extremely grey area.
FACT: The problem is that we lack a complete understanding of youth suicide and know more about what is not known than what is fact.
- Going deeper: The reaction trio -- these do not just spring up spontaneously-- in the middle of a causal chain.
- Recognize their impact -- but also see what causes them.
- Despair -- failure of hope
- This is an effect and a cause -- what caused the despair
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- Desperation --
- Rage -- rage is a reaction -- can lead to
- Seeking to Punish God
- Seeking to punish others
- Other Reason -- these are the core reasons.
- Attachment needs not met -- Episode 62
- A felt sense of safety and protection, deep sense of security felt in the bones
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- Feeling seen and known heard and understood -- felt attunement
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- Felt comfort, reassurance
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- Feeling valued, delighted in, cherished by the attachment figure
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- Felt support for the best self
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- Integrity Needs not met
- All of the above. Each one of us needs help to develop our sense of self, our identity
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- I exist
- my existence is separate from others -- I exist in my own right, a separate personIs bounded, has boundaries
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- My identity is stable over time and across different situations -- there is a continuity
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- I can regulate myself -- I have some self-control.
- Is integrated -- coherent interconnections inside between aspects of experience -- self-cohesion
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- Is active, with agency, can effectively function in the world
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- Is morally good -- ontologically or essentially good and thus has intrinsic value and worth, apart from others' opinions.
- I can make sense of my experience and the world around me
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- Mission and Purpose in life
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- We also need to make good choices -- seek what is good, true and beautiful in life
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- Suicide Prevention
- Current secular "wisdom" and teaching on the topic
- Protective factors are personal or environmental characteristics that help protect people from suicide VeryWell mind article By Nancy Schimelpfening reviewing recent research findings February 19, 2021
- Effective behavioral health care
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- Connectedness to individuals, family, community, and social institutions
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- Life skills (including problem solving skills and coping skills, ability to adapt to change)
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- Self-esteem and a sense of purpose or meaning in life
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- Cultural, religious, or personal beliefs that discourage suicide
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- Here's what I think: Let's start way back in the causal chain.
- Attachment needs met -- see episode 62 Unmet Attachment Needs and Unmet Integrity Need
- Integrity Needs Met
- Future focus We really looked at the secular literature in this episode
- In the next episode -- looking at the juncture of the psychological and the spiritual
- What does the wisdom of the Catholic Church say about suicide. How does that fit with what the secular experts are saying
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- And what's really exciting we will get into suicide from a parts perspective.
- The role of exiled parts in suicide, the role of firefighter parts, the role of manager parts.
- Seeing in more dimension.
- Most of the conceptualizations we discussed today assume a homogenous personality. One personality.
- We will also get into Others' Experience of Suicide -- parents, spouses, friends. Intense reactions
- Came from the blue
- Very understandable -- especially with the impulsive kind.
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- Pain, shame guilt
- It was my fault
- Really natural -- we have parts that want to hold on to the fantasy that we can make everything ok if we just always do the right thing
- Jesus could not prevent Judas' suicide without violating his free will.
- Action Items
- If you are having suicidal thoughts or know of someone who is, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 for support and assistance from a trained counselor. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911.
- Catholic's Guide to Choosing a Therapist
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- Let people know about this episode -- many of you know other Catholics who have experienced loss of loved ones through suicide -- may benefit. Take the chance, reach out. Episodes 76, 77 and 78.
- Interior Integration for Catholics
- All the major platforms
- Soulandhearts.com/iic -- initials for Interior Integration for Catholics
- This episode can help equip you to have those conversations, to be able to reach out.
- Waiting list soulsandhearts.com/rcc -- benefits -- email once per month, free gifts
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- Conversation hours T, R
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- Pray for me and for the other listeners
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- Patronness and patron
- Blurb for Transistor: Through stories and examples, Dr. Peter reviews the best of secular approaches to understanding suicide. He discusses suicide statistics, the different kinds of suicide, the risk factors for suicide, the warning signs for suicide and myths about suicide. He covers the "reaction trio" and then the deep roots of suicide, the first causes.