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Carol Cox:
You're going to love this episode all around

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storytelling for leaders how to craft

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narratives that inspire and persuade.

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On this episode of the Speaking Your Brand

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podcast. More and more women are making an

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impact by starting businesses, running for

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office and speaking up for what matters.

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With my background as a TV political

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analyst, entrepreneur and speaker, I

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interview and coach purpose driven women to

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shape their brands, grow their companies,

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and become recognized as influencers in

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their field. This is speaking your brand,

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your place to learn how to persuasively

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communicate your message to your audience.

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Hi and welcome to the Speaking Your Brand

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podcast. I'm your host, Carol Cox.

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We're continuing the brand new series we're

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doing all around. Executive speaking last

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week we talked about the importance of

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executive presence.

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Today, we're diving into storytelling for

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leaders, especially if you're in a business

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or a corporate environment.

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And I'm pleased to be joined today by two of

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our speaking coaches, Diane Diaz, who's our

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lead speaking coach of Speaking Your Brand,

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and Joy Spencer, who I'm very fortunate to

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have come to us as a speaking and

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storytelling coach.

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Whether it's for our thought leader, Academy

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is for the brave, bold beyond live virtual

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summits that we hosted, and it's for the

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work that we do with different organizations

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to help them create and deliver their TEDx

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style talks. Diane, welcome.

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Diane Diaz:
Hello. Thanks for having me on again.

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Carol Cox:
And Joy, so nice to have you back as well.

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Joy Spencer:
Yes, it's great to be back.

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Thank you.

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Carol Cox:
So as I mentioned, we're going to really dive

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into storytelling. And I know that the two

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of you work so much with our clients on

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really digging into their stories.

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And for some of our clients, it's really

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easy because they come to us and they have a

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very clear idea of what story is driving

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them to want to create a signature talk, to

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want to go out there and speak to audiences

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and impact them in a positive way.

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And I also know that for some of our

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clients, especially the ones who work in a

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corporate or business environment, they want

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to improve their public speaking.

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They want to get out there and speak more,

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whether it's for leadership promotions that

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they're looking for or really to build their

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personal brand. But they're not really sure

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how storytelling fits in to their

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presentations or why stories even matter, or

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why their personal stories even matter.

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And so we oftentimes think the stories

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aren't appropriate in quote unquote,

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professional business environments.

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And for sure, we're not talking about

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oversharing or TMI type of stories.

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We know those are rarely ever appropriate,

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no matter what the setting is, depending on

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your audience. But today, we're going to

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really talk about why storytelling matters

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in business settings, how to identify the

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best kinds of stories to share, how to tell

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a story, and some frameworks and models that

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you can use.

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So let's go ahead and dive in.

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Really. You know, I know again that we have

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seen this so much about how much stories

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connect this emotionally with the audience.

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And so for Joy, can you take us back to

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maybe some of the speaking experiences

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you've had personally, and how much sharing

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stories of your own, how you have felt that

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connection with the audience in a different

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way than perhaps you did prior to really

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incorporating storytelling into the talks

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and presentations that you gave?

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Joy Spencer:
I think I really got this definitely from

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working with with you as I was preparing my

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talk, I think when we first started working

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together, and our conversation really helped

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me dig into that.

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The Mrs. Jackson story, which I've been

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using ever since, which was a story that I

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had completely forgotten about.

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But what I found with that story, which is a

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which is an early childhood story that

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explains how I view scripts and scripting

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and sort of inviting people to move away

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from the script. Every time I share that

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story, it really resonates with people who

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who listen and really connects them to the

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message that I'm sharing.

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I think in a deeper way than when I'm just

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sort of like trying to talk to them about

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work in general. So I've seen the power of

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diving in and finding a personal story that

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connects you to why you do what you do, and

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sharing that with others.

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It just makes everything pop.

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It makes it spark. And that word connection

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cannot be underemphasized.

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Carol Cox:
Well, now, Joy, I know that story of Miss

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Jackson. Can you tell us a quick version of

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that story? Yes.

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Joy Spencer:
So imagine, you know, being in the third

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grade or the fourth grade and it's play

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announcement day, and you like run down the

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grassy hill and there's a bulletin board and

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there's all the names that are listed with

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all the different characters.

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And your name is there.

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And my name was, you know, was on the board.

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But our plays were completely different from

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what people usually experienced.

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So we would usually, you know, we had Snow

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White and the eight dwarves, not just the

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seven dwarves or, you know, Cinderella.

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And the Prince was Michael Jackson, and

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there was a whole hot dancing hot dog scene,

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a zombie scene.

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And what in the world was going on?

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Right. That was our teacher, Mrs.

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Jackson, who, like, put on these really fun

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and wild plays. But the real unique thing

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about these plays was that she never gave us

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a script for them.

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She would share with us what our characters

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were. She gave us the intro, like generally

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this was. What needed to happen at the start

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of the scene and the end of the scene, and

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then she would say, go!

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And we would just start adlibbing and

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practicing, and she would write down our

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script. So we essentially created our own

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script, created and developed our own

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characters, and it was a perfect blend of

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structure and fluidity to allow for

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creativity. And so I share that story

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because it really until and this is the

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other powerful thing about storytelling, it

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gives you your self back.

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Before I had gone and had the conversation

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to to think through that story, I'd

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forgotten how important that experience was

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and formative it was in who I am, how I show

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up and work and in life.

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So the process, it wasn't just a product of

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coming out with this story that I could put

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put into the talk.

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The process of going back and finding and

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unearthing this story gave me a part of

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myself back and a sense of like, oh, this is

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who I am, and this is why I am who I am.

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So another shameless plug for why

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storytelling is so important.

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It's not just a product, but what the

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process can do for you as well.

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Carol Cox:
And hear the difference between the first

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explanation of storytelling.

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And sure, you heard you heard Mrs.

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Jackson. So she had a name.

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You heard something about plays, but an

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unscripted. But that was pretty much it.

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And then you got the second version and

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you're like, oh, now I can actually picture

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all the kids in the hallway.

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And then being excited about what this play

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is going to be and creating their own

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characters. And then now I feel like I know

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you joy so much more as a person.

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So then, you know, for those of you

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listening, think about for yourself, for

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your in these business environments, you may

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think, well, a story from when I was in

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third grade. What would that have to do with

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giving a presentation and a business or an

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academic context?

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But it makes you relatable and it makes you

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memorable. Now, Diane, how about you?

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Do you have, you know, a time that you've

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given a talk where a story was really

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central? And what what was that like?

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Diane Diaz:
Yes, actually, Earl.

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And well, I'm going to say when I was

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working with you, Carol, on my talk so early

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on before I was with speaking of brand and I

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had my own business, the brand teacher, I

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was giving a talk about personal branding,

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and I was trying to instill this idea of

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sort of having the power to know that you

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can do certain things in your career.

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Right. But it starts with developing your

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own personal brand, and how you act is how

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you are. Right.

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And so I would use the story of how I became

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a triathlete, going from not knowing how to

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swim at the age of 37, learning how to swim

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at the age of 37, almost drowning every time

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I would swim, getting past that fear of the

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open water to finally doing the full Ironman

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distance, and sort of that idea of having to

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act like a triathlete in order to be a

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triathlete. And so the audience not only

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obviously got that message, but the story,

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even if they never experienced that.

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I started out as not a triathlete, so

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everybody can identify with that, wanting to

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do something challenging, not understanding

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how to do it, not knowing the skills needed,

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being bad at it.

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Everyone can identify with that and then how

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you have to push through. And so telling

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that story and it wasn't about the

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triathlon, it was about, you know, acting as

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if so that you could then do the thing.

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That message really came through because of

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the story that I was able to use to

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illustrate that point.

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And so, so many people, they didn't

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necessarily identify with the fact of being

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a triathlete unless they were.

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But they identified with that whole message.

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And in fact, I gave I used that story in a

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talk that I gave as a keynote talk to, I

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think about 600 women at the Orlando Women's

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Conference. And interestingly, after I was

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done, when I was going back to the table, I

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one woman came up to me after the whole sort

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of, uh, portion of that, that session was

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over. She came up to me and said how much

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that inspired her because she had done a

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short distance triathlon before, and she

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remembered how powerful that made her feel.

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And then she now she wanted to do that

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again. So, you know, you never know how your

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story might impact someone.

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Carol Cox:
And that's another excellent example of

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number one, uh, sharing a story so that

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people can get to know you better.

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You're inspiring them.

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You're perhaps, you know, sharing them with

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something that is a not necessarily complex

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idea, but that idea, if you try to explain

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it without a story or without a metaphor,

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what kind of just people would just kind of

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go over people's heads? So they really want

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to understand the how it was relevant to

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them, but then also it drives action and

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change. And this is what we talked about on

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last week's episode about executive presence

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and getting buy in from your audience.

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And I feel like sharing a personal story

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helps your audience to know that they're not

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alone, that you too, have experienced

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something or have been in their shoes, or

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have have done something that maybe they

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want to do. And so they're more likely than

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to put themselves into their own story.

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Why that may be slightly different than your

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story. Like Diane, I maybe never will do a

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triathlon, but is there something that I do

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want to do that I can take inspiration from

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hearing your story and then Joy saying with

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you about this idea of of having things be

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unscripted again. It's like it's a little

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vague and amorphous just hearing that, but

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then hearing the story, the example of the

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play, you're like, oh, now I get it.

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Now I understand how maybe I can incorporate

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this idea of being unscripted in the power

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of that into the work that I'm doing.

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All right. So then let's talk about some a

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particular model called public narrative.

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And I know, Joy, you know this really well

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because you've taken courses on it and

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you've really dove have digged into it over

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the years. And I like public narrative as

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well. A lot of politicians use it.

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Barack Obama very famously used it.

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Michelle Obama also used it.

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Their speechwriters use it because it's very

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effective again, at persuasion and getting

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buy in from your audience and encouraging

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them to take action. But it could also be

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used very much in a business environment.

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And I think that's where it originated from.

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Joy. So can you tell us about the public

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narrative model, what it is and why it's so

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helpful?

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Joy Spencer:
Yeah, so public narrative was developed by

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Marshall Ganz, who's a lecturer, professor,

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and Harvard Kennedy School.

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And it really came out of his out of his

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work in organizing.

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And so that's that's sort of the connection

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with, um, the, the Democratic Party and, and

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Obama camp, etc., very instrumental in

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Obama, you know, coming to coming, um,

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becoming president because he essentially

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used that model. And so the the powerful

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thing about public narrative is that it

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builds on this. It builds on connection,

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right? Which if you want to as a leader or

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anyone, a movement builder or an organizer,

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if you want to bring people to action, you

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have to have influence with them, and you

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can't have influence without connection.

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So public narrative is powerful with that

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connection, influence, action, sort of

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connection, um, sort of continuum.

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And so it has three parts.

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There's the story of self, the story of us

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and the story of now.

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And what you're doing in each of these is

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like in the story of self.

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You're creating that sense of connection

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between you and the you, the person who is

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sort of sharing and bringing the message,

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you and your audience, because people have

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to feel connected to you, to even listen to

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you or be or want to take the action you're

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going to invite them to.

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But that's not just it and the story of us.

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You're doing something really powerful.

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You're you're creating a sense of otherness

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in the room. You're creating a sense that we

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who are in the room, who have come to listen

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to this person, are not just these disparate

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groups of people, but we have shared

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experiences and we have shared values.

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And that shared experience and shared values

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means that there's power and there's

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resource in our room for us to take action

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together, which is what we need in the story

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of now, in the story of now, that's where

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we're we're being the speaker is sharing

347
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what the strategy is.

348
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What is our current urgent moment, what is it

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that we need to do?

350
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And we've already learned from the story of

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us that we have what it takes.

352
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And so here they share, like, this is what

353
00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:14,010
we can do and what we need to do next.

354
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And this is where you'll have your call to

355
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action. So it's a very powerful model.

356
00:13:18,180 --> 00:13:20,790
It's a powerful leadership practice model

357
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that incorporates storytelling in to help

358
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leaders. And it's the leader definition is

359
00:13:26,340 --> 00:13:28,530
very broad. It's not just leader is titled

360
00:13:28,530 --> 00:13:30,420
leaders, but it's anyone who's willing to

361
00:13:30,420 --> 00:13:33,600
accept responsibility for enabling others to

362
00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:35,850
achieve purpose in the face of uncertainty.

363
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That's the definition of leadership in the

364
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public narrative model. So if that's you, if

365
00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:41,040
that's what you want to do, this is a model

366
00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:44,310
that's very useful and powerful for you to

367
00:13:44,310 --> 00:13:47,550
help bring your movement, your team and

368
00:13:47,550 --> 00:13:51,090
whoever, from a sense of disconnection to

369
00:13:51,090 --> 00:13:53,610
connection, build that influence so they can

370
00:13:53,610 --> 00:13:57,060
move on and and take the action that you

371
00:13:57,060 --> 00:13:58,680
want them to take at the end of the day.

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And it's and I love it.

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It's my absolute favorite model.

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I use it all the time in my storytelling,

375
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and I introduce it to leaders a lot and help

376
00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:07,560
leaders use it when they're developing

377
00:14:07,590 --> 00:14:09,510
talks, especially because it's a great way

378
00:14:09,510 --> 00:14:12,540
to combine story moments with building a

379
00:14:12,540 --> 00:14:14,850
broader narrative. It's just it's, um, check

380
00:14:14,850 --> 00:14:16,350
it out. If you've not checked it out, it's I

381
00:14:16,350 --> 00:14:18,660
can't say you know enough about it.

382
00:14:18,750 --> 00:14:20,430
Carol Cox:
And we'll I'll include a link in the show

383
00:14:20,430 --> 00:14:23,550
notes to some, some articles about public

384
00:14:23,550 --> 00:14:25,200
narrative, the model. And also know Joy.

385
00:14:25,350 --> 00:14:27,540
We did a podcast episode back a couple years

386
00:14:27,540 --> 00:14:29,340
ago where we talked much more about that.

387
00:14:29,340 --> 00:14:30,540
So I'll include a link in the show notes for

388
00:14:30,570 --> 00:14:32,520
that as well. And the other thing that

389
00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:35,130
public narrative is great for is Ted talks

390
00:14:35,130 --> 00:14:36,480
and Ted style talks.

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00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:38,250
We have been fortunate enough to work with

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the University of California, DC center,

393
00:14:40,740 --> 00:14:42,900
which is hosted in Washington, DC.

394
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The executive director is Tanya Gillespie.

395
00:14:45,180 --> 00:14:46,590
She's a graduate of our Thought Leader

396
00:14:46,590 --> 00:14:49,980
Academy, and so we have worked with her and

397
00:14:49,980 --> 00:14:51,960
University of California professors, both

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00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:54,930
last year and this year, to help them create

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00:14:54,930 --> 00:14:58,560
their ten minute Ted talks to deliver about

400
00:14:58,560 --> 00:15:00,180
their academic research.

401
00:15:00,180 --> 00:15:03,180
And like all good academics, they love their

402
00:15:03,180 --> 00:15:05,160
research. They love the details.

403
00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:07,260
They love getting into the nitty gritty of

404
00:15:07,260 --> 00:15:08,880
of what they're doing. And for good reason,

405
00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:10,410
because they're usually writing whole,

406
00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:11,460
entire books.

407
00:15:11,460 --> 00:15:12,720
Just about one.

408
00:15:12,820 --> 00:15:14,860
Particular area of the research.

409
00:15:14,860 --> 00:15:17,260
But to Tanya's credit and the University of

410
00:15:17,260 --> 00:15:19,720
California, D.C. center, they want this

411
00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:22,360
research to have a broader impact on the

412
00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:25,150
general population and on policy making.

413
00:15:25,150 --> 00:15:26,410
So that's why they're having these

414
00:15:26,410 --> 00:15:28,000
professors deliver these talks.

415
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:29,830
And so they brought us in to help them to

416
00:15:29,830 --> 00:15:30,850
craft these talks.

417
00:15:30,850 --> 00:15:33,310
And we very much used this public narrative

418
00:15:33,310 --> 00:15:35,200
model of story of self, story of us, and

419
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:38,290
story of now to help them to frame how

420
00:15:38,290 --> 00:15:39,820
they're how they're presenting their

421
00:15:39,820 --> 00:15:41,650
research. So, Diane, as you've been working

422
00:15:41,650 --> 00:15:45,100
with these professors on their talks, what

423
00:15:45,100 --> 00:15:48,370
have you noticed about their storytelling

424
00:15:48,370 --> 00:15:51,070
and maybe their the surprise that they've

425
00:15:51,070 --> 00:15:53,170
had when they've worked with us and did our

426
00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:55,000
done our workshops about the importance of

427
00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:55,960
storytelling?

428
00:15:56,860 --> 00:15:59,590
Diane Diaz:
What I have found with the groups that we've

429
00:15:59,590 --> 00:16:02,380
worked with and the individual clients that

430
00:16:02,380 --> 00:16:05,380
I've worked with on that, um, being that

431
00:16:05,380 --> 00:16:08,800
they're academic and they often are a little

432
00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:12,220
bit resistant at first to tell stories

433
00:16:12,220 --> 00:16:14,740
specifically to tell their own story and why

434
00:16:14,740 --> 00:16:16,690
they're connected to the message.

435
00:16:16,690 --> 00:16:18,460
And they don't.

436
00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:22,710
They don't necessarily at first see or

437
00:16:22,710 --> 00:16:25,740
understand the importance of their own story

438
00:16:25,740 --> 00:16:28,140
in the talk that they're going to give,

439
00:16:28,230 --> 00:16:30,120
like, why? Why would I tell them about me?

440
00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:31,290
This isn't about me, right?

441
00:16:31,290 --> 00:16:32,550
It's about my research.

442
00:16:32,550 --> 00:16:33,750
It's about what I found. It's about what

443
00:16:33,750 --> 00:16:34,920
I've learned. I want to share that with

444
00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:37,800
them. And sometimes there's a story in that,

445
00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:39,360
but someone else's story.

446
00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:42,870
And so they they really have been at first a

447
00:16:42,870 --> 00:16:43,920
little bit resistant.

448
00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:47,700
But once we can get them on board with

449
00:16:47,700 --> 00:16:51,180
incorporating their own story, and then when

450
00:16:51,180 --> 00:16:53,580
we've done like the practice sessions within

451
00:16:53,580 --> 00:16:56,880
our our group calls, and then they see when

452
00:16:56,880 --> 00:16:58,770
someone else delivers that and includes

453
00:16:58,770 --> 00:17:00,990
their own personal story within it, and they

454
00:17:00,990 --> 00:17:03,690
can see the the shift of how powerful the

455
00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:04,860
message becomes.

456
00:17:04,860 --> 00:17:08,040
I think that's where they buy in to how

457
00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:10,200
important it is for their story to be part

458
00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:11,910
of that talk, right.

459
00:17:11,910 --> 00:17:14,040
And why? Why the topic is so powerful for

460
00:17:14,040 --> 00:17:16,530
them. And sometimes it feels like it hasn't

461
00:17:16,530 --> 00:17:19,530
been some earth shattering reason, but the

462
00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:22,920
why they're connected to this message and

463
00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:25,770
why they're connected to this general, you

464
00:17:25,770 --> 00:17:27,690
know, through line and main message that

465
00:17:27,690 --> 00:17:30,180
they want to convey that matters.

466
00:17:30,180 --> 00:17:33,330
So once they're able to see another of the

467
00:17:33,330 --> 00:17:35,130
speakers do that, I think that's where

468
00:17:35,130 --> 00:17:36,570
they're like, oh, okay.

469
00:17:36,570 --> 00:17:38,730
Yes, I get it. Because now they feel the

470
00:17:38,730 --> 00:17:40,410
power of that message on them.

471
00:17:40,410 --> 00:17:42,030
And so now they want to do the same thing.

472
00:17:42,030 --> 00:17:43,650
So that's sort of what I've noticed kind of

473
00:17:43,650 --> 00:17:46,350
across the board with those speakers.

474
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:47,910
Carol Cox:
And José, what about you?

475
00:17:47,910 --> 00:17:49,860
And you've actually been able to attend it

476
00:17:49,860 --> 00:17:52,260
live since you are in the DC area.

477
00:17:52,260 --> 00:17:53,490
So you got to see them last year.

478
00:17:53,490 --> 00:17:55,080
And this year we just got to watch them on

479
00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:57,030
the live stream. So from working with them

480
00:17:57,030 --> 00:17:59,250
and then seeing them deliver live, what has

481
00:17:59,250 --> 00:18:00,990
been the impact on helping them understand

482
00:18:00,990 --> 00:18:03,030
the importance of their personal stories?

483
00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:04,860
Joy Spencer:
I agree with Diane.

484
00:18:04,860 --> 00:18:07,560
I think there's that resistance because

485
00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:09,120
people just don't get it and they don't

486
00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:11,100
understand why they there.

487
00:18:11,100 --> 00:18:13,650
And I think what it is, is that they often

488
00:18:13,650 --> 00:18:15,720
miss that they are connecting to their

489
00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:18,030
research through their own personal story,

490
00:18:18,030 --> 00:18:21,270
and so they sort of forget that you need to

491
00:18:21,270 --> 00:18:23,100
articulate that, because really, nobody

492
00:18:23,100 --> 00:18:26,190
connects to ideas or data directly.

493
00:18:26,190 --> 00:18:28,170
We all connect to all of these things

494
00:18:28,170 --> 00:18:29,760
through people, people who are introducing

495
00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:31,530
it to us through the way that they're

496
00:18:31,530 --> 00:18:32,910
telling a story or the way they're telling

497
00:18:32,910 --> 00:18:33,930
someone else's story.

498
00:18:33,930 --> 00:18:37,890
And so it's not a vanity project project to

499
00:18:37,890 --> 00:18:39,810
introduce storytelling, because that's

500
00:18:39,810 --> 00:18:42,180
literally how everybody understands

501
00:18:42,180 --> 00:18:43,980
everything. Advertising is that way.

502
00:18:43,980 --> 00:18:45,960
Everything is about personal story and

503
00:18:45,960 --> 00:18:49,440
personal connection. So, so once our the

504
00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:51,780
people who we work with suddenly realize

505
00:18:51,780 --> 00:18:54,390
that, oh, I'm connected to this research

506
00:18:54,390 --> 00:18:55,560
through my personal story.

507
00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:58,650
And the only way that people who I want to

508
00:18:58,650 --> 00:19:01,230
invite into action with me, who I want them

509
00:19:01,230 --> 00:19:04,140
to also think, feel and do something, um,

510
00:19:04,140 --> 00:19:05,850
the way that I do, and I'm passionate about

511
00:19:05,850 --> 00:19:07,470
it. The only way that they can get connected

512
00:19:07,470 --> 00:19:09,840
is not if I share this sterile, sort of

513
00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:12,630
like, intellectual version of this thing,

514
00:19:12,630 --> 00:19:14,940
but I need to bring them into a personal

515
00:19:14,940 --> 00:19:17,040
connection the same way that I have one.

516
00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:20,190
That's how they can be as invested in this as

517
00:19:20,190 --> 00:19:22,110
I am. Once they realize that the

518
00:19:22,110 --> 00:19:23,910
storytelling and their personal connection

519
00:19:23,910 --> 00:19:26,730
to it is the route to get to where they want

520
00:19:26,730 --> 00:19:29,820
to get there, they're on board, but it takes

521
00:19:29,820 --> 00:19:31,170
a little bit for them to get that.

522
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:33,960
Aha! Oh, this is how I can you know, these

523
00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:35,430
people aren't trying to derail me.

524
00:19:35,430 --> 00:19:36,990
Right. Because I'm focused on my research.

525
00:19:36,990 --> 00:19:38,700
I've got stuff to do. I'm trying to get to

526
00:19:38,700 --> 00:19:40,290
the research. They're not trying to derail

527
00:19:40,290 --> 00:19:41,490
me with this storytelling thing.

528
00:19:41,490 --> 00:19:43,740
They're actually helping me get to and

529
00:19:43,740 --> 00:19:45,750
achieve that goal.

530
00:19:45,750 --> 00:19:49,410
And, and, and I hope that people, you know,

531
00:19:49,410 --> 00:19:51,480
leaders from all walks of life finally get

532
00:19:51,480 --> 00:19:54,030
that, that storytelling is not a detour.

533
00:19:54,030 --> 00:19:55,800
It's not a distraction.

534
00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:58,530
It's the route to get to the action and the

535
00:19:58,530 --> 00:20:00,450
change and the transformation that you want

536
00:20:00,450 --> 00:20:03,540
to have. So it's time to get on board.

537
00:20:03,630 --> 00:20:05,550
Carol Cox:
Yes, you're right, it's not a derailment.

538
00:20:05,550 --> 00:20:07,530
It's not a distraction. It really is the

539
00:20:07,530 --> 00:20:11,310
core. And also what I find is that when the

540
00:20:11,310 --> 00:20:14,460
speaker shares their story, they tend to be

541
00:20:14,460 --> 00:20:16,770
much more conversational in their delivery,

542
00:20:16,770 --> 00:20:18,270
which is what we encourage them to do.

543
00:20:18,270 --> 00:20:19,800
And I know especially for these ten minute

544
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:22,380
talks, they want to write it all out and

545
00:20:22,380 --> 00:20:24,030
then they want to memorize every word.

546
00:20:24,030 --> 00:20:26,130
And of course, we tell them and we encourage

547
00:20:26,130 --> 00:20:27,900
them that it's not really a good idea to

548
00:20:27,900 --> 00:20:29,490
memorize. It's going to feel stilted, it's

549
00:20:29,490 --> 00:20:31,230
not going to feel natural, and it's

550
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:32,970
definitely not going to feel conversational,

551
00:20:32,970 --> 00:20:34,500
which is another benefit.

552
00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:36,690
Whether you're delivering a textile talk or

553
00:20:36,690 --> 00:20:38,910
a keynote or you're presenting in front of

554
00:20:38,910 --> 00:20:40,680
executives, whatever it happens to be, I

555
00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:43,470
feel like we know our stories, so it almost

556
00:20:43,470 --> 00:20:45,450
lets us off the hook with having to write

557
00:20:45,450 --> 00:20:47,220
them out word for word, because we just tell

558
00:20:47,220 --> 00:20:49,320
them, like, just tell your story to us.

559
00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:51,390
I promise you, you know your own story.

560
00:20:51,390 --> 00:20:52,680
You don't need to write it out.

561
00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:54,510
And Diane, I know you were in one of the

562
00:20:54,510 --> 00:20:57,120
calls where we had them practicing their

563
00:20:57,120 --> 00:20:59,070
delivery. And remember, there was one who

564
00:20:59,070 --> 00:21:01,470
was reading the script and we told them,

565
00:21:01,650 --> 00:21:03,000
okay, just stop, stop, stop. Like, don't

566
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:05,190
just put your script away, put that browser

567
00:21:05,190 --> 00:21:07,650
tab away. Just tell us your story and what a

568
00:21:07,650 --> 00:21:08,670
difference it made.

569
00:21:08,670 --> 00:21:10,020
Diane Diaz:
It made a huge difference.

570
00:21:10,020 --> 00:21:12,720
And not only was he more conversational once

571
00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:17,580
he did that, but he lit up when he told the

572
00:21:17,580 --> 00:21:19,080
story, which then makes me as.

573
00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:21,390
The audience care more about what he's

574
00:21:21,390 --> 00:21:24,660
saying, because I see how connected he is to

575
00:21:24,660 --> 00:21:25,770
what he's saying.

576
00:21:25,770 --> 00:21:29,340
And his whole demeanor, his whole just

577
00:21:29,340 --> 00:21:31,050
physical presence changed.

578
00:21:31,050 --> 00:21:33,330
His facial expressions changed.

579
00:21:33,330 --> 00:21:34,560
He loosened up.

580
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:36,690
He his eyes lit up.

581
00:21:36,690 --> 00:21:41,820
Everything about him was so visibly, and

582
00:21:41,820 --> 00:21:44,610
also his speech was so connected to that

583
00:21:44,610 --> 00:21:47,100
story he was telling about where he grew up

584
00:21:47,100 --> 00:21:48,360
and his father.

585
00:21:48,360 --> 00:21:51,780
He was so connected to it that I then felt

586
00:21:51,780 --> 00:21:53,400
compelled to really listen and pay

587
00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:55,050
attention. I wanted to know more.

588
00:21:55,050 --> 00:21:57,180
I wanted to hear the message he was sharing.

589
00:21:57,180 --> 00:22:00,480
So it changes everything about about your

590
00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:03,450
talk, not just the contents of it, but also

591
00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:05,790
the delivery of it that then brings the

592
00:22:05,790 --> 00:22:07,200
audience in more.

593
00:22:07,500 --> 00:22:09,180
Carol Cox:
Oh, that's such a good point about yes, you

594
00:22:09,180 --> 00:22:10,950
can, you can like the shift in the body

595
00:22:10,950 --> 00:22:12,840
language, the facial expressions, the

596
00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:15,600
energy. You really do notice that now, Joy.

597
00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:18,090
So, you know, we talked about academics and

598
00:22:18,090 --> 00:22:19,350
their textile talks and all that.

599
00:22:19,350 --> 00:22:22,200
But I know you also work with executives and

600
00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:24,360
people who work within companies who are

601
00:22:24,360 --> 00:22:26,280
whether they're presenting internally or

602
00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:27,510
presenting externally.

603
00:22:27,510 --> 00:22:29,610
And how has this idea of storytelling

604
00:22:29,610 --> 00:22:30,660
impacted them?

605
00:22:30,870 --> 00:22:32,610
Joy Spencer:
It's been really powerful.

606
00:22:32,610 --> 00:22:34,590
And I think that what we talked, what you

607
00:22:34,590 --> 00:22:36,930
shared earlier about people being concerned

608
00:22:36,930 --> 00:22:39,090
about what to share and what's appropriate

609
00:22:39,090 --> 00:22:41,250
in the work setting, it's about sharing

610
00:22:41,250 --> 00:22:43,560
personal stories, not private stories.

611
00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:47,640
And so the the they often sort of go through

612
00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:50,010
the struggle and a challenge like, oh, can I

613
00:22:50,010 --> 00:22:51,090
share that? Do I share that?

614
00:22:51,090 --> 00:22:53,250
So what I often create is a space where we

615
00:22:53,250 --> 00:22:55,170
can sort of do what I call kitchen syncing.

616
00:22:55,170 --> 00:22:56,670
Like we just dump everything we just share.

617
00:22:56,670 --> 00:22:58,230
It's like, this is a safe space.

618
00:22:58,230 --> 00:23:00,240
You don't have to share any story that you

619
00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:01,950
share with me. It's just to sort of like,

620
00:23:01,950 --> 00:23:03,420
get in the practice and get it out.

621
00:23:03,420 --> 00:23:05,460
And then they sort of see, oh, that they

622
00:23:05,460 --> 00:23:08,070
have a choice, that they can pick what they

623
00:23:08,100 --> 00:23:09,960
what they choose to share, you know.

624
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:11,670
And so it's like they're not forced to, you

625
00:23:11,670 --> 00:23:14,100
know, pick a particular type of story and

626
00:23:14,100 --> 00:23:16,590
that personal stories, you know, can be

627
00:23:16,590 --> 00:23:18,300
about learning how to ride a bike or

628
00:23:18,300 --> 00:23:20,850
learning how to swim or about, you know,

629
00:23:20,850 --> 00:23:22,320
your first day of school.

630
00:23:22,320 --> 00:23:24,090
And these are powerful and compelling

631
00:23:24,090 --> 00:23:25,440
stories, but they're not like your deepest,

632
00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:26,970
darkest secret, which nobody really wants to

633
00:23:26,970 --> 00:23:28,200
hear anyway, you know?

634
00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:31,050
And so and there's so much power and fodder

635
00:23:31,050 --> 00:23:33,840
in them. So I really enjoy helping them to

636
00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:35,970
come through the process of becoming more

637
00:23:35,970 --> 00:23:37,260
comfortable with.

638
00:23:37,260 --> 00:23:39,780
I'm a leader, but I can and I should share

639
00:23:39,780 --> 00:23:41,430
these personal stories, which is going to

640
00:23:41,430 --> 00:23:43,620
help my team feel more connected to me, and

641
00:23:43,620 --> 00:23:45,510
it's going to help me really help support

642
00:23:45,510 --> 00:23:47,340
them through these changes and these

643
00:23:47,340 --> 00:23:50,280
challenges that we have and, and that we're,

644
00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:53,010
we're going through. So so those are really

645
00:23:53,010 --> 00:23:54,390
fun and exciting moments.

646
00:23:54,390 --> 00:23:57,120
And what I've really seen is storytelling

647
00:23:57,120 --> 00:24:00,240
helped to build influence for these leaders.

648
00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:02,520
So I have a leader who I worked with

649
00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:04,680
recently, who she recently switched into a

650
00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:06,870
new executive position to a new team that

651
00:24:06,870 --> 00:24:09,300
she was not familiar with and who was not

652
00:24:09,300 --> 00:24:10,620
really familiar with her.

653
00:24:10,620 --> 00:24:13,590
And years prior, we'd worked on this on as

654
00:24:13,590 --> 00:24:15,900
part of a storytelling video series that I

655
00:24:15,900 --> 00:24:17,730
was heading up and helping leaders tell

656
00:24:17,730 --> 00:24:19,860
their stories. And these stories went, you

657
00:24:19,860 --> 00:24:21,960
know, would go out enterprise wide, she

658
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:23,460
said. People were coming up to me and they

659
00:24:23,460 --> 00:24:26,370
were like, oh, I saw your story, you know, a

660
00:24:26,370 --> 00:24:27,930
couple of years ago. And I remember and it

661
00:24:27,930 --> 00:24:29,490
was powerful and it was impactful.

662
00:24:29,490 --> 00:24:32,790
And so she was walking into a room where she

663
00:24:32,790 --> 00:24:35,310
didn't know people, but she already had some

664
00:24:35,310 --> 00:24:38,070
some connection and influence and that

665
00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:39,990
connection and influence. And she said, this

666
00:24:39,990 --> 00:24:42,630
all came through the story that I worked on.

667
00:24:42,630 --> 00:24:44,700
You worked on with you.

668
00:24:44,700 --> 00:24:47,160
That was it. They know nothing else about me

669
00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:48,630
except that they've heard and they've

670
00:24:48,630 --> 00:24:50,370
received this story. And so look at that

671
00:24:50,370 --> 00:24:53,490
powerful way to begin to build influence and

672
00:24:53,490 --> 00:24:57,180
to pave the way of possibility for you and a

673
00:24:57,180 --> 00:24:59,460
team before you even get, you know, into the

674
00:24:59,460 --> 00:25:01,080
door, um, get through the door.

675
00:25:01,080 --> 00:25:03,330
So I've seen it do some powerful thing for

676
00:25:03,330 --> 00:25:05,010
leaders that building those strong

677
00:25:05,010 --> 00:25:06,960
connections, building that influence, and

678
00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:09,510
helping them to really help their teams

679
00:25:09,510 --> 00:25:11,040
navigate through a lot of changes and

680
00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:11,940
challenges.

681
00:25:12,330 --> 00:25:15,240
Carol Cox:
It really does help to build trust and

682
00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:16,860
credibility in a fast way.

683
00:25:16,860 --> 00:25:18,480
And especially again, I love your

684
00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:20,670
distinction between personal versus private

685
00:25:20,670 --> 00:25:22,680
stories. And I still feel like there's a

686
00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:25,260
should be at least some vulnerability within

687
00:25:25,260 --> 00:25:26,760
the personal stories, because I feel like

688
00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:29,070
especially as a leader, if you're not

689
00:25:29,070 --> 00:25:31,140
willing to be vulnerable and of course, in

690
00:25:31,140 --> 00:25:33,660
an appropriate manner, but then your team is

691
00:25:33,660 --> 00:25:35,880
not going to feel that sense of trust and

692
00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:38,310
connection with you and then being willing

693
00:25:38,340 --> 00:25:39,630
to be vulnerable with you.

694
00:25:39,630 --> 00:25:40,200
Yeah, I.

695
00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:41,910
Joy Spencer:
Often tell leaders, nobody wants to hear your

696
00:25:41,910 --> 00:25:43,500
what I call triumphal stories.

697
00:25:43,500 --> 00:25:45,270
The stories that are like everything was

698
00:25:45,270 --> 00:25:46,770
great, and then it got better, and then it's

699
00:25:46,770 --> 00:25:48,600
even better. And I'm awesome and like, you

700
00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:50,040
know, you should be awesome like me.

701
00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:53,400
Nobody cares about about those stories.

702
00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:56,250
But yeah, but to your point, a vulnerable

703
00:25:56,250 --> 00:25:58,110
story. It doesn't, you know, it's not

704
00:25:58,110 --> 00:25:59,910
necessarily your your darkest moment.

705
00:25:59,910 --> 00:26:01,590
Although I have had leaders share very

706
00:26:01,590 --> 00:26:04,380
personal stories of like tough diagnoses in

707
00:26:04,380 --> 00:26:06,240
their, in their, in their families and all

708
00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:08,370
of those things and and being and when you

709
00:26:08,370 --> 00:26:10,950
share that piece, that part of your

710
00:26:10,950 --> 00:26:12,420
vulnerability of you going through a

711
00:26:12,420 --> 00:26:14,970
difficulty coming out through the other end,

712
00:26:14,970 --> 00:26:17,940
whether it's you and family or difficulty at

713
00:26:17,940 --> 00:26:18,960
work, you remind.

714
00:26:19,100 --> 00:26:21,050
Find yourself and you remind your team that

715
00:26:21,050 --> 00:26:22,070
you're a human being.

716
00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:24,950
And that's the most important piece that

717
00:26:24,950 --> 00:26:27,470
gets lost in corporate work.

718
00:26:27,500 --> 00:26:29,570
You walk through the doors and everybody

719
00:26:29,570 --> 00:26:30,860
forgets that they're a human being.

720
00:26:30,860 --> 00:26:33,710
For some reason, the conversational talk

721
00:26:33,710 --> 00:26:36,050
goes away, the natural ebb and flow of

722
00:26:36,050 --> 00:26:37,070
storytelling goes away.

723
00:26:37,070 --> 00:26:39,050
And so really what storytelling does is it

724
00:26:39,050 --> 00:26:40,700
gives you back your humanity.

725
00:26:40,700 --> 00:26:42,950
It gives you back that ability to connect in

726
00:26:42,950 --> 00:26:44,840
the normal, natural way that you do.

727
00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:47,720
And that's what teams are hungry for and

728
00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:49,310
really want to see from their leaders.

729
00:26:49,310 --> 00:26:51,290
Like, do you understand what I'm going

730
00:26:51,290 --> 00:26:53,390
through? Are you a human being like I am?

731
00:26:53,390 --> 00:26:55,220
And if you are, I can trust you.

732
00:26:55,220 --> 00:26:56,900
I can trust what you're what you're saying,

733
00:26:56,900 --> 00:27:00,440
and I can trust you through this dark, you

734
00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:02,600
know, path that we might need to walk

735
00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:04,790
through these turbulent times of constant

736
00:27:04,790 --> 00:27:07,160
change. Your teams are not going to follow

737
00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:08,690
you. They're not going to trust you.

738
00:27:08,690 --> 00:27:10,580
If they don't know you, they won't know you.

739
00:27:10,580 --> 00:27:12,200
If they don't see you being human.

740
00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:13,730
And they can't see that. If you haven't

741
00:27:13,730 --> 00:27:15,380
shared a vulnerable story, there's just no

742
00:27:15,380 --> 00:27:16,190
way around it.

743
00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:18,010
Carol Cox:
Yes, so. Well said.

744
00:27:18,040 --> 00:27:20,200
Thank you, Joy, for that. Now, Diane, I

745
00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:22,060
mentioned on last week's episode that we had

746
00:27:22,060 --> 00:27:23,980
recently done a speaking workshop from some

747
00:27:23,980 --> 00:27:26,080
for some women here in the Orlando area who

748
00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:28,810
are running for office, and it was so fun to

749
00:27:28,810 --> 00:27:31,600
work with them on their speaking, but also

750
00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:32,830
on their storytelling.

751
00:27:32,830 --> 00:27:34,990
And can you tell us a little bit about what

752
00:27:34,990 --> 00:27:36,040
it was like when.

753
00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:39,010
So we had them deliver their stump speech to

754
00:27:39,010 --> 00:27:40,540
us after we had done a bunch of exercises

755
00:27:40,540 --> 00:27:42,730
with them, deliver their stump speech they

756
00:27:42,730 --> 00:27:44,980
had been doing. And then we offered some

757
00:27:44,980 --> 00:27:46,810
feedback about leading with story.

758
00:27:46,810 --> 00:27:49,720
So either switching some some the order up

759
00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:51,430
of what they were doing or really going into

760
00:27:51,430 --> 00:27:53,380
more detail on their story.

761
00:27:53,380 --> 00:27:56,290
So what what did you sense while while we

762
00:27:56,290 --> 00:27:57,310
were doing that?

763
00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:00,010
Diane Diaz:
Well, it's a little bit like the corporate

764
00:28:00,010 --> 00:28:03,550
space in that I think politics and sort of

765
00:28:03,550 --> 00:28:06,130
running for office, doing some speeches can

766
00:28:06,130 --> 00:28:09,130
become very sterile because it's about, you

767
00:28:09,130 --> 00:28:12,310
know, the facts and what we can do for you

768
00:28:12,310 --> 00:28:14,410
and what what are we going to make happen,

769
00:28:14,410 --> 00:28:15,640
you know, and just like in a corporate

770
00:28:15,640 --> 00:28:17,110
environment becomes very sterile and just

771
00:28:17,110 --> 00:28:18,370
about business.

772
00:28:19,090 --> 00:28:21,370
It also running for office can feel that

773
00:28:21,370 --> 00:28:24,580
way. And I think, you know, probably most

774
00:28:24,580 --> 00:28:27,220
people delivering speeches in the political

775
00:28:27,220 --> 00:28:29,320
arena are probably going to be filled with

776
00:28:29,320 --> 00:28:31,390
facts and information and what the changes

777
00:28:31,390 --> 00:28:32,950
are that we want to happen.

778
00:28:33,070 --> 00:28:38,470
But it similarly to our, um, our academics

779
00:28:38,470 --> 00:28:41,350
who, when they change to more story based,

780
00:28:41,350 --> 00:28:42,370
lit up.

781
00:28:42,370 --> 00:28:44,470
We had the women first just deliver the

782
00:28:44,470 --> 00:28:46,510
stump speech and it was good information.

783
00:28:46,510 --> 00:28:47,890
And yet they were very passionate.

784
00:28:47,890 --> 00:28:50,440
And obviously they're very well spoken and,

785
00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:52,090
you know, very accomplished women.

786
00:28:52,090 --> 00:28:53,620
So that all came through.

787
00:28:53,620 --> 00:28:56,380
But what did not come through was why I

788
00:28:56,380 --> 00:28:58,660
should care about you in particular, being

789
00:28:58,660 --> 00:29:00,850
the person that I'm going to vote for.

790
00:29:00,850 --> 00:29:03,730
You know why? Why does this why does running

791
00:29:03,730 --> 00:29:05,830
for office matter to you as the candidate?

792
00:29:05,830 --> 00:29:07,840
Not from what you can do once you're in

793
00:29:07,840 --> 00:29:09,850
office. But why does it personally matter to

794
00:29:09,850 --> 00:29:14,350
you? And you know, I we've all heard

795
00:29:14,350 --> 00:29:16,930
political speeches and they they almost all

796
00:29:16,930 --> 00:29:20,080
follow some sort of pattern of, you know,

797
00:29:20,080 --> 00:29:22,510
making promises and like, you know, we've

798
00:29:22,510 --> 00:29:24,130
got to make change and whatever the things

799
00:29:24,130 --> 00:29:26,080
are that the formulaic things that they say,

800
00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:29,800
that's great. But then when we had them

801
00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:32,200
retell their stump speech.

802
00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:35,770
But now start with your story, whatever that

803
00:29:35,770 --> 00:29:37,900
story is, but start with the story and just

804
00:29:37,900 --> 00:29:39,130
speak. Forget about what you've written

805
00:29:39,130 --> 00:29:42,130
down. Forget about what you normally say.

806
00:29:42,130 --> 00:29:44,260
Forget about about covering all the 15

807
00:29:44,260 --> 00:29:45,580
points that you want to cover. Forget about

808
00:29:45,580 --> 00:29:48,250
all that. Just tell your story and why

809
00:29:48,250 --> 00:29:50,050
you're here. Speaking to this audience

810
00:29:50,050 --> 00:29:53,590
today. So we had each women do that, and it

811
00:29:53,590 --> 00:29:56,260
was similar to the academics where they're

812
00:29:56,260 --> 00:29:57,850
first of all, their whole body language

813
00:29:57,850 --> 00:30:01,840
changed. They became much more relaxed, not

814
00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:03,850
worried about hitting 15 different points.

815
00:30:03,850 --> 00:30:05,530
Right. They really just spoke from the

816
00:30:05,530 --> 00:30:08,200
heart. And frankly, standing there as a

817
00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:09,760
woman, hearing another woman just tell her

818
00:30:09,760 --> 00:30:11,170
personal story of why she's running for

819
00:30:11,170 --> 00:30:14,080
office, to me, mattered so much because I

820
00:30:14,080 --> 00:30:17,860
want to know why you care so much about this

821
00:30:17,860 --> 00:30:21,310
topic or this this issue that's compelled

822
00:30:21,310 --> 00:30:23,650
you to run for office. I want to know that

823
00:30:23,650 --> 00:30:25,240
because because I want to know you're

824
00:30:25,240 --> 00:30:26,620
committed to it in some way.

825
00:30:26,620 --> 00:30:29,710
Right? So it tells me that it's beyond just

826
00:30:29,710 --> 00:30:31,660
like, oh, I'm going to be well, not that

827
00:30:31,660 --> 00:30:32,830
they're running to be well known or

828
00:30:32,830 --> 00:30:33,850
anything, because, I mean, that would be

829
00:30:33,850 --> 00:30:36,130
very hard to really make that the reason.

830
00:30:36,130 --> 00:30:39,100
But but he told me this more than just, you

831
00:30:39,100 --> 00:30:40,540
know, that you can accomplish these 15

832
00:30:40,540 --> 00:30:41,800
different things, but you really have a

833
00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:45,520
personal stake in why you've chosen to run

834
00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:46,750
for this particular office at this

835
00:30:46,750 --> 00:30:48,400
particular time. And when each of the women

836
00:30:48,400 --> 00:30:50,890
did that, their body language changed, their

837
00:30:50,890 --> 00:30:53,860
facial expressions changed the emotion that

838
00:30:53,860 --> 00:30:55,000
they exuded.

839
00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:57,340
Which didn't happen with listing the 15

840
00:30:57,340 --> 00:31:00,430
points, but the emotion came through it.

841
00:31:00,820 --> 00:31:03,160
At each one of them had different reasons.

842
00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:05,230
They were, I think, there well, two of them

843
00:31:05,230 --> 00:31:07,450
were moms. I'm not a mom, but it still

844
00:31:07,450 --> 00:31:09,460
resonated with me because they're women

845
00:31:09,460 --> 00:31:11,200
doing something for something that they care

846
00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:13,630
about. So that resonated with me, right?

847
00:31:13,630 --> 00:31:17,170
And so each of them completely change their

848
00:31:17,170 --> 00:31:21,430
demeanor. And frankly, I'd rather hear that

849
00:31:21,430 --> 00:31:23,530
type of a speech and I'd be more compelled

850
00:31:23,530 --> 00:31:25,540
to vote for someone than someone who lists

851
00:31:25,540 --> 00:31:27,070
15 different things they're going to do for

852
00:31:27,070 --> 00:31:28,870
me because I feel like, well, I don't know.

853
00:31:28,870 --> 00:31:31,000
The other person said the same thing, like,

854
00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:32,590
so why you over them?

855
00:31:32,590 --> 00:31:34,720
But once you tell me that reason, that

856
00:31:34,720 --> 00:31:37,060
compelling reason, your story, your personal

857
00:31:37,060 --> 00:31:39,580
story, and I see how connected you are to

858
00:31:39,580 --> 00:31:41,890
your story and why it matters to you and

859
00:31:41,890 --> 00:31:43,720
that you feel compelled to make a change.

860
00:31:43,720 --> 00:31:45,400
Now you've got me right.

861
00:31:45,400 --> 00:31:49,180
And so their whole just their they just were

862
00:31:49,180 --> 00:31:50,200
more relaxed.

863
00:31:50,290 --> 00:31:52,870
Like everything about their delivery changed

864
00:31:52,870 --> 00:31:53,980
everything.

865
00:31:54,580 --> 00:31:56,980
Carol Cox:
And I felt more emotionally connected to

866
00:31:56,980 --> 00:31:59,710
them. Not only did I feel the emotion from

867
00:31:59,710 --> 00:32:01,510
them, but I felt more emotionally connected.

868
00:32:01,510 --> 00:32:04,360
And what do we remember out of that entire

869
00:32:04,360 --> 00:32:06,310
2.5 hours that we spent with them?

870
00:32:06,310 --> 00:32:08,560
We remember their stories.

871
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:10,210
Yes, that is what sticks with us.

872
00:32:10,210 --> 00:32:12,250
And that's like the bigger why of what

873
00:32:12,250 --> 00:32:13,690
they're doing, like you said, versus the

874
00:32:13,690 --> 00:32:15,550
here's this specific policy proposals.

875
00:32:15,550 --> 00:32:17,590
Now they still. Need to mention the policy

876
00:32:17,590 --> 00:32:20,440
proposal, but that comes after you've earned

877
00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:22,750
the trust and had that authentic connection

878
00:32:22,750 --> 00:32:23,590
with the audience.

879
00:32:23,590 --> 00:32:25,540
Diane Diaz:
Yes, because I'm not going to remember the 15

880
00:32:25,540 --> 00:32:28,240
different things Susie Smith said about why

881
00:32:28,240 --> 00:32:29,680
she's running right. I'm going to remember

882
00:32:29,680 --> 00:32:32,530
that Susie Smith has a child with special

883
00:32:32,530 --> 00:32:34,360
needs in school, for example, and just

884
00:32:34,360 --> 00:32:35,920
couldn't get those needs met and how much

885
00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:37,300
that impacted their families. So she's

886
00:32:37,300 --> 00:32:39,310
running to make a change, right.

887
00:32:39,310 --> 00:32:41,140
That I'm going to remember.

888
00:32:41,590 --> 00:32:42,760
Carol Cox:
Yes. All right.

889
00:32:42,760 --> 00:32:45,820
So let's talk about some frameworks that you

890
00:32:45,820 --> 00:32:48,280
all can use for telling your story.

891
00:32:48,280 --> 00:32:49,990
So specific thing. So first we're going to

892
00:32:49,990 --> 00:32:52,840
talk about the challenge choice outcome way

893
00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:54,730
to tell a story. And then we're going to dig

894
00:32:54,730 --> 00:32:58,090
into the ingredients to use to tell a story

895
00:32:58,090 --> 00:32:59,530
versus an anecdote.

896
00:32:59,530 --> 00:33:00,790
Because there is a difference.

897
00:33:00,790 --> 00:33:02,500
We want to make sure that is for your key

898
00:33:02,500 --> 00:33:04,300
story. You're actually using these

899
00:33:04,300 --> 00:33:05,320
storytelling ingredients.

900
00:33:05,320 --> 00:33:08,110
So Joy, I'm going to, uh, push it over to

901
00:33:08,110 --> 00:33:10,480
you to talk about us, about challenge,

902
00:33:10,480 --> 00:33:12,790
choice and outcome and why that's really

903
00:33:12,790 --> 00:33:16,090
helpful for identifying the kinds of stories

904
00:33:16,090 --> 00:33:18,160
to share and then how to set them up.

905
00:33:18,250 --> 00:33:20,860
Joy Spencer:
Well, it sort of shows you whether you have a

906
00:33:20,860 --> 00:33:22,330
story or not. Right.

907
00:33:22,330 --> 00:33:24,250
So challenge choice outcome comes also comes

908
00:33:24,250 --> 00:33:25,720
out of public narrative. And it's really a

909
00:33:25,720 --> 00:33:27,160
powerful way to think about.

910
00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:30,100
Is there a character in your story and does

911
00:33:30,100 --> 00:33:31,270
this character.

912
00:33:31,270 --> 00:33:33,070
Is this character faced with a particular

913
00:33:33,070 --> 00:33:35,260
challenge like what's what's the obstacle?

914
00:33:35,260 --> 00:33:36,910
They want something. What is it that they're

915
00:33:36,910 --> 00:33:38,020
trying to get to?

916
00:33:38,020 --> 00:33:42,190
And what does the what choice are they

917
00:33:42,190 --> 00:33:43,810
making in this story? And the powerful thing

918
00:33:43,810 --> 00:33:45,730
about choice is, and why choice is so

919
00:33:45,730 --> 00:33:48,100
important, is that choice reveals values

920
00:33:48,100 --> 00:33:49,510
without having to state them.

921
00:33:49,510 --> 00:33:52,600
And understanding a person's values or the

922
00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:54,370
character's values is what is also going to

923
00:33:54,370 --> 00:33:56,590
build that deeper sense of connection.

924
00:33:56,590 --> 00:33:58,150
And then you don't want to leave people high

925
00:33:58,150 --> 00:34:00,340
and dry, right? These are not stories that

926
00:34:00,340 --> 00:34:02,560
you tell where it's like cliffhanger or it's

927
00:34:02,560 --> 00:34:03,610
like, no, don't do that.

928
00:34:03,610 --> 00:34:05,710
So you always have to give us a very clear

929
00:34:05,710 --> 00:34:07,450
sense of what the outcome is.

930
00:34:07,450 --> 00:34:09,340
And if you're if you're thinking about a

931
00:34:09,340 --> 00:34:11,290
story moment that you're trying to tell, you

932
00:34:11,290 --> 00:34:12,910
want to make sure that those elements are

933
00:34:12,910 --> 00:34:15,820
there, especially leaders, leadership

934
00:34:15,820 --> 00:34:17,650
stories like is there, is there.

935
00:34:17,650 --> 00:34:20,110
It's great for leaders specifically because

936
00:34:20,110 --> 00:34:22,270
challenge stories with challenge are always

937
00:34:22,270 --> 00:34:24,010
going to help you to tell more vulnerable

938
00:34:24,010 --> 00:34:25,210
stories, which is what we talked about

939
00:34:25,210 --> 00:34:26,860
earlier, really needing to get to that.

940
00:34:26,860 --> 00:34:27,970
So what was the challenge?

941
00:34:27,970 --> 00:34:29,350
What was the challenge that I was faced

942
00:34:29,350 --> 00:34:31,300
faced in? What's the moment that I can share

943
00:34:31,300 --> 00:34:33,370
that had that? What choice did I make so

944
00:34:33,370 --> 00:34:34,720
that people can get to know me a little bit

945
00:34:34,720 --> 00:34:36,430
better and know my values without me having

946
00:34:36,430 --> 00:34:37,810
to say, I am courageous.

947
00:34:37,810 --> 00:34:39,910
You just, you know, demonstrate it, show it

948
00:34:39,910 --> 00:34:42,490
through the story. And and then and then

949
00:34:42,490 --> 00:34:45,310
what happened. And then you can build build

950
00:34:45,310 --> 00:34:47,140
from there, like what the lessons are and

951
00:34:47,140 --> 00:34:48,160
all the things that you want to do.

952
00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:51,430
But without those elements, really, you

953
00:34:51,430 --> 00:34:53,530
can't really honestly say that you have a

954
00:34:53,530 --> 00:34:56,320
story. So it's a it's there great postmarks

955
00:34:56,620 --> 00:34:57,670
um or sorry.

956
00:34:57,700 --> 00:35:00,880
No, they're great signposts to help you

957
00:35:00,880 --> 00:35:03,490
know, that you are actually telling a story.

958
00:35:03,490 --> 00:35:05,320
And if anything is missing, to go back and

959
00:35:05,320 --> 00:35:07,720
make sure that you're, um, pulling those

960
00:35:07,720 --> 00:35:08,950
threads and making sure that you're

961
00:35:08,950 --> 00:35:10,990
articulating them. So I that's that's a

962
00:35:10,990 --> 00:35:12,820
really good one. It's just a basic like, am

963
00:35:12,820 --> 00:35:13,990
I telling a story or not?

964
00:35:13,990 --> 00:35:15,700
Do you have challenge, choice and outcome?

965
00:35:15,790 --> 00:35:17,320
Carol Cox:
And I think that's so important.

966
00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:19,750
Joy, because sometimes we may think of a

967
00:35:19,750 --> 00:35:21,640
story of, you know, an experience we've had

968
00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:23,110
and we know that it was challenging.

969
00:35:23,110 --> 00:35:25,330
It was a difficult time, but we don't really

970
00:35:25,330 --> 00:35:27,310
think about the choices necessarily we made.

971
00:35:27,310 --> 00:35:29,440
We just know that something happened, but we

972
00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:31,000
don't think about the alternatives.

973
00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:33,850
So I remember back this was before our first

974
00:35:33,850 --> 00:35:36,310
summit in 2020, October 2020, and I was

975
00:35:36,310 --> 00:35:38,890
working with both of you, you and, uh, and

976
00:35:38,890 --> 00:35:42,490
Diane to create my own summit speech.

977
00:35:42,490 --> 00:35:43,780
Right. Because I was going to do, I think,

978
00:35:43,780 --> 00:35:45,580
the opening speech and it was about my time

979
00:35:45,580 --> 00:35:47,830
in politics. And, you know, how everything

980
00:35:47,830 --> 00:35:49,420
was great until it wasn't.

981
00:35:49,420 --> 00:35:51,070
And then I remember Joy, you're like, okay,

982
00:35:51,070 --> 00:35:53,110
well, what was the moment like?

983
00:35:53,110 --> 00:35:54,880
What was the moment where you realized,

984
00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:56,410
like, okay, you had to make a decision?

985
00:35:56,410 --> 00:35:58,270
Like you were faced with this challenge.

986
00:35:58,270 --> 00:35:59,320
You know, these people who were your

987
00:35:59,320 --> 00:36:01,720
supporters and they started bullying you and

988
00:36:01,720 --> 00:36:05,050
how you felt. And I was like, oh, yeah, I

989
00:36:05,050 --> 00:36:07,630
always my, the, my version of the story was

990
00:36:07,630 --> 00:36:09,550
right. So I had this experience in politics,

991
00:36:09,550 --> 00:36:11,410
you know, I it was all great until it

992
00:36:11,410 --> 00:36:13,060
wasn't. And then I just kind of went away.

993
00:36:13,060 --> 00:36:14,440
But then Joy's like, no, no, no, but what

994
00:36:14,440 --> 00:36:16,300
was the choice you made. Oh I'm like, oh,

995
00:36:16,300 --> 00:36:20,170
now I see the choice was that I chose to

996
00:36:20,170 --> 00:36:23,490
walk away. Instead of standing up to fight

997
00:36:23,490 --> 00:36:26,700
back. And like I said in my summit speech,

998
00:36:26,700 --> 00:36:28,980
that wasn't the empowered woman that I

999
00:36:28,980 --> 00:36:31,470
wanted to be or that I would like to be seen

1000
00:36:31,470 --> 00:36:33,810
as right. It's a vulnerable story to share.

1001
00:36:33,810 --> 00:36:36,450
I wish I had made a different choice, but I

1002
00:36:36,450 --> 00:36:39,150
realize that I that was the choice I made

1003
00:36:39,150 --> 00:36:41,580
because I didn't have another support system

1004
00:36:41,760 --> 00:36:43,350
to help me through that.

1005
00:36:43,350 --> 00:36:45,630
They were my support system, the ones who

1006
00:36:45,630 --> 00:36:46,800
had turned against me.

1007
00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:48,900
And then I later realized that that's why I

1008
00:36:48,900 --> 00:36:50,820
started speaking your brand and

1009
00:36:51,060 --> 00:36:53,970
subconsciously, to provide women with the

1010
00:36:53,970 --> 00:36:56,070
support system when they're out there using

1011
00:36:56,070 --> 00:36:58,620
their voice. So. So for those of you

1012
00:36:58,620 --> 00:37:00,120
listening, think about you may have a

1013
00:37:00,120 --> 00:37:02,190
challenging situation, but then what was

1014
00:37:02,190 --> 00:37:04,950
that choice and what did it reveal to you,

1015
00:37:04,950 --> 00:37:07,260
whether it was the good part or maybe the

1016
00:37:07,260 --> 00:37:08,970
not so good part? But then what did you do

1017
00:37:08,970 --> 00:37:10,230
with it afterwards?

1018
00:37:10,830 --> 00:37:12,840
Joy Spencer:
I love that because that's a classic example

1019
00:37:12,840 --> 00:37:16,260
of a story giving you your power back, just

1020
00:37:16,260 --> 00:37:18,720
going in and getting deep and beginning to

1021
00:37:18,720 --> 00:37:20,940
understand what your choices were.

1022
00:37:20,940 --> 00:37:23,310
And that's what our stories can do for us,

1023
00:37:23,310 --> 00:37:25,710
the practice of being in storytelling.

1024
00:37:25,710 --> 00:37:27,600
It's not just what we can do for others and

1025
00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:29,340
how we can connect to others, but really how

1026
00:37:29,340 --> 00:37:33,030
we can reconnect to ourselves and to our the

1027
00:37:33,030 --> 00:37:35,400
powerful parts of ourselves that are going

1028
00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:36,660
to, you know, help shape and make a

1029
00:37:36,660 --> 00:37:37,920
difference for others.

1030
00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:40,050
So I'm glad that you I'm glad that you got

1031
00:37:40,050 --> 00:37:41,940
that piece, got that piece out from that

1032
00:37:41,940 --> 00:37:42,810
conversation.

1033
00:37:43,080 --> 00:37:44,250
Carol Cox:
It's very liberating.

1034
00:37:44,250 --> 00:37:46,290
I we talk, you know, we work with women all

1035
00:37:46,290 --> 00:37:47,760
the time. And our thought leader academy

1036
00:37:47,760 --> 00:37:49,950
and, you know, and understandably, some of

1037
00:37:49,950 --> 00:37:51,930
them are hesitant to share those stories.

1038
00:37:51,930 --> 00:37:54,420
And I say to them, you know, as appropriate,

1039
00:37:54,420 --> 00:37:56,970
the story you're most reluctant to share is

1040
00:37:56,970 --> 00:37:59,640
probably the one that you should share, not

1041
00:37:59,640 --> 00:38:01,410
just for the benefit of your audience, but

1042
00:38:01,410 --> 00:38:03,480
really for your own benefit, because they

1043
00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:06,660
will feel very liberating to to share that.

1044
00:38:08,450 --> 00:38:10,670
All right. So Diane let's talk about our

1045
00:38:10,670 --> 00:38:12,680
ideal storytelling ingredients.

1046
00:38:12,680 --> 00:38:14,750
So we have this model of public narrative

1047
00:38:14,750 --> 00:38:16,490
story of self story of us.

1048
00:38:16,490 --> 00:38:18,320
Story of now kind of like the big, you know,

1049
00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:20,540
building blocks of of your talk or your

1050
00:38:20,540 --> 00:38:22,700
presentation we talked about for a

1051
00:38:22,700 --> 00:38:24,650
particular story, the challenge, choice and

1052
00:38:24,650 --> 00:38:26,720
outcome. But then we also want to make sure

1053
00:38:26,720 --> 00:38:28,640
we're telling the story in a way that's

1054
00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:30,500
captivating to our audience.

1055
00:38:30,500 --> 00:38:33,560
So let's run through the ideal storytelling

1056
00:38:33,560 --> 00:38:36,380
ingredients, and then we can talk about how,

1057
00:38:36,380 --> 00:38:38,660
especially with those candidates that we

1058
00:38:38,660 --> 00:38:41,720
were working with, how having them use these

1059
00:38:41,720 --> 00:38:43,820
ingredients really made their stories come

1060
00:38:43,820 --> 00:38:44,480
to life.

1061
00:38:45,230 --> 00:38:47,360
Diane Diaz:
Yes. So I love these ingredients because I

1062
00:38:47,360 --> 00:38:49,040
think it gives you also almost like a

1063
00:38:49,040 --> 00:38:50,690
recipe, right? The ideal story ingredients.

1064
00:38:50,690 --> 00:38:52,340
It's like a recipe to make sure that you

1065
00:38:52,340 --> 00:38:54,560
have these elements in your story, so that

1066
00:38:54,560 --> 00:38:56,270
you can make sure that your story is as

1067
00:38:56,270 --> 00:38:59,360
impactful as possible, and so specifically

1068
00:38:59,360 --> 00:39:02,270
so the ideal story ingredients ideal being

1069
00:39:02,270 --> 00:39:03,590
the acronym because we love acronyms.

1070
00:39:03,590 --> 00:39:08,060
Right. So imagery dialogue, emotion action

1071
00:39:08,060 --> 00:39:10,460
and lesson. And it kind of still follows

1072
00:39:10,460 --> 00:39:12,350
that challenge choice and outcome.

1073
00:39:12,350 --> 00:39:14,090
Right. So it still works within that

1074
00:39:14,090 --> 00:39:17,780
framework, but specifically related to our

1075
00:39:17,780 --> 00:39:19,730
academics that we were working with on their

1076
00:39:19,730 --> 00:39:22,400
talks. They I think they did a really good

1077
00:39:22,400 --> 00:39:24,710
job of incorporating these elements into

1078
00:39:24,710 --> 00:39:26,660
their talks. And their talks were very

1079
00:39:26,660 --> 00:39:28,160
short. So, you know, it has to be really

1080
00:39:28,160 --> 00:39:30,290
tight, right? But especially if you're

1081
00:39:30,290 --> 00:39:32,180
giving, you know, maybe you're giving a 45,

1082
00:39:32,180 --> 00:39:33,620
35, 45 minute talk.

1083
00:39:33,620 --> 00:39:35,210
You can really wrap these in.

1084
00:39:35,210 --> 00:39:38,360
So, so with imagery, for example, the

1085
00:39:38,360 --> 00:39:39,680
gentleman we were talking about, who we

1086
00:39:39,680 --> 00:39:41,900
asked him to just, you know, speak from the

1087
00:39:41,900 --> 00:39:44,540
heart and not read his script imagery was

1088
00:39:44,540 --> 00:39:46,700
sort of setting us in the place of where his

1089
00:39:46,700 --> 00:39:48,890
story was taking place. Where was he talking

1090
00:39:48,890 --> 00:39:51,110
about his father and the things that he

1091
00:39:51,110 --> 00:39:53,270
instilled in him, where he grew up, I think

1092
00:39:53,270 --> 00:39:54,830
in Kenya was where he grew up.

1093
00:39:54,830 --> 00:39:58,520
So really placing us there in that moment and

1094
00:39:58,520 --> 00:40:00,860
then dialogue. So I remember in when we were

1095
00:40:00,860 --> 00:40:02,690
giving the feedback, we were telling him,

1096
00:40:02,690 --> 00:40:03,770
you know, maybe you could say.

1097
00:40:03,770 --> 00:40:06,140
And so then, then my father said to me and

1098
00:40:06,140 --> 00:40:07,430
then I said to him, right.

1099
00:40:07,430 --> 00:40:11,330
So really instead of just relaying so she

1100
00:40:11,330 --> 00:40:12,830
said to me this like, oh.

1101
00:40:12,830 --> 00:40:15,140
And then she said, Susan, why don't you do

1102
00:40:15,140 --> 00:40:17,480
this? And then I said, right, actually do

1103
00:40:17,480 --> 00:40:19,100
the dialogue. Don't just relay what the

1104
00:40:19,100 --> 00:40:20,240
conversation was.

1105
00:40:20,240 --> 00:40:24,230
And then for emotion, incorporate how you

1106
00:40:24,230 --> 00:40:25,520
felt in that moment.

1107
00:40:25,550 --> 00:40:27,350
Were you moved by the situation?

1108
00:40:27,350 --> 00:40:30,590
So how did he feel knowing that what was

1109
00:40:30,590 --> 00:40:33,260
going on in his home country, or how that

1110
00:40:33,260 --> 00:40:34,880
relates to what's going on in this country?

1111
00:40:34,880 --> 00:40:36,830
So they were doing talks on reparations.

1112
00:40:36,830 --> 00:40:38,540
How did that make him feel?

1113
00:40:38,540 --> 00:40:40,760
How did he feel growing up, you know, as a

1114
00:40:40,760 --> 00:40:42,980
child, what were the emotions involved in

1115
00:40:42,980 --> 00:40:45,440
that? And then the actions of what actually

1116
00:40:45,440 --> 00:40:48,290
took place, what actions happened?

1117
00:40:48,290 --> 00:40:50,180
What did you do? What did they do?

1118
00:40:50,180 --> 00:40:51,860
What you know what what happened?

1119
00:40:51,860 --> 00:40:54,950
And then the lesson. So what is the lesson?

1120
00:40:54,950 --> 00:40:57,170
Not only that, he might have learned from

1121
00:40:57,170 --> 00:40:59,360
having grown up in Kenya and then coming

1122
00:40:59,360 --> 00:41:01,370
here and all the research he's done on

1123
00:41:01,370 --> 00:41:03,620
reparations, but also, what is the greater

1124
00:41:03,620 --> 00:41:06,020
lesson that the audience can take away from

1125
00:41:06,020 --> 00:41:07,640
what you're sharing with them?

1126
00:41:07,640 --> 00:41:10,220
So then, so it sounds almost like, well, how

1127
00:41:10,220 --> 00:41:11,360
am I going to wrap all those ingredients

1128
00:41:11,360 --> 00:41:13,550
into a ten minute talk? But it doesn't have

1129
00:41:13,550 --> 00:41:17,030
to be so long and drawn out and some of

1130
00:41:17,030 --> 00:41:19,010
these kind of wrap into one another.

1131
00:41:19,010 --> 00:41:21,260
So, you know, imagery and dialogue can work

1132
00:41:21,260 --> 00:41:22,850
together, right? So you can make them work

1133
00:41:22,850 --> 00:41:24,770
together so that you can incorporate all of

1134
00:41:24,770 --> 00:41:27,920
them into the talk, but especially in a ten

1135
00:41:27,920 --> 00:41:31,430
minute talk, having painting that picture so

1136
00:41:31,430 --> 00:41:34,070
that the audience feels like they're part of

1137
00:41:34,070 --> 00:41:35,990
the story and that they're in the scene and

1138
00:41:35,990 --> 00:41:38,690
that they they are feeling the emotion too.

1139
00:41:38,690 --> 00:41:40,980
That is so important, especially in that ten

1140
00:41:40,980 --> 00:41:43,340
minute talk, to make sure that the audience

1141
00:41:43,340 --> 00:41:46,220
feels moved, to take the action that you're

1142
00:41:46,220 --> 00:41:47,960
asking them to take. And in that case,

1143
00:41:47,960 --> 00:41:50,930
they're talking about reparations and caring

1144
00:41:50,930 --> 00:41:52,880
about supporting these efforts towards

1145
00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:55,310
reparations. She got to make them feel

1146
00:41:55,310 --> 00:41:57,350
something. So this this ideal story

1147
00:41:57,350 --> 00:42:00,230
ingredients helps the audience, brings them

1148
00:42:00,230 --> 00:42:03,050
into that message, then makes them feel that

1149
00:42:03,050 --> 00:42:05,660
too. Then they want to take action as well.

1150
00:42:05,660 --> 00:42:07,010
They've got the lesson. They know they can

1151
00:42:07,010 --> 00:42:08,840
make a change. And so now you've you've got

1152
00:42:08,840 --> 00:42:09,410
them.

1153
00:42:10,130 --> 00:42:12,710
Carol Cox:
And this is the power of these ideal

1154
00:42:12,710 --> 00:42:15,230
storytelling ingredients, is that you want

1155
00:42:15,230 --> 00:42:18,560
to drop into one specific moment in time or

1156
00:42:18,560 --> 00:42:21,380
one day, because I think this is where

1157
00:42:21,380 --> 00:42:24,080
stories end up as anecdotes instead of as

1158
00:42:24,080 --> 00:42:26,540
stories, because we kind of like paint this

1159
00:42:26,540 --> 00:42:28,430
broad brush. We're like, oh, you know, I was

1160
00:42:28,430 --> 00:42:30,830
at this job one time that, you know, I

1161
00:42:30,830 --> 00:42:32,390
didn't really like. And it was because of

1162
00:42:32,390 --> 00:42:33,860
this, you know, these things were going on.

1163
00:42:33,860 --> 00:42:35,480
But it's like, well, okay, but you're not

1164
00:42:35,480 --> 00:42:37,790
really telling me, much like, tell me about

1165
00:42:37,790 --> 00:42:40,160
a specific day like you were at, you know,

1166
00:42:40,160 --> 00:42:42,320
you were in your cubicle and then someone

1167
00:42:42,320 --> 00:42:44,480
came over and they said this to you or, and,

1168
00:42:44,480 --> 00:42:45,950
you know, and then you realize that, you

1169
00:42:45,950 --> 00:42:47,360
know, you wanted to go start your own

1170
00:42:47,360 --> 00:42:49,160
business instead, whatever the story was

1171
00:42:49,160 --> 00:42:50,750
like, when Joy at the beginning of this

1172
00:42:50,750 --> 00:42:52,070
episode talked about Mrs.

1173
00:42:52,070 --> 00:42:54,320
Jackson, the, you know, the kind of the

1174
00:42:54,320 --> 00:42:56,570
overview at the beginning, but then talking

1175
00:42:56,600 --> 00:42:58,340
to us about having, you know, the play

1176
00:42:58,340 --> 00:43:00,350
announcement on on the bulletin board and

1177
00:43:00,350 --> 00:43:01,580
the kids in the hallway.

1178
00:43:01,580 --> 00:43:04,820
Now, that was one specific day, one moment

1179
00:43:04,820 --> 00:43:07,040
in time. And the same thing with those women

1180
00:43:07,040 --> 00:43:09,160
running for office. When we asked them,

1181
00:43:09,160 --> 00:43:11,650
okay, take us to one moment.

1182
00:43:12,040 --> 00:43:16,630
Take us to the day where this issue became

1183
00:43:16,630 --> 00:43:18,580
central to your life.

1184
00:43:18,580 --> 00:43:20,770
And then they knew that moment right away,

1185
00:43:20,770 --> 00:43:22,120
like they didn't have to dig for it.

1186
00:43:22,120 --> 00:43:23,320
They knew what that was.

1187
00:43:23,320 --> 00:43:24,790
And then they just told us about that

1188
00:43:24,790 --> 00:43:27,640
morning, and that's where we felt that

1189
00:43:27,640 --> 00:43:30,580
emotional connection to them was from that

1190
00:43:30,580 --> 00:43:32,770
one specific moment in time.

1191
00:43:33,540 --> 00:43:35,400
Diane Diaz:
Yes. And I think when Joy was giving her

1192
00:43:35,400 --> 00:43:37,770
example, she when she said, running down the

1193
00:43:37,770 --> 00:43:41,010
green hills, I visualized the green.

1194
00:43:41,160 --> 00:43:43,680
You literally visualize it because it's so

1195
00:43:43,680 --> 00:43:45,720
it is so specific and colorful.

1196
00:43:45,720 --> 00:43:46,920
And now I'm in it.

1197
00:43:47,720 --> 00:43:48,860
Carol Cox:
Yeah. Absolutely.

1198
00:43:48,860 --> 00:43:51,170
Yeah. Okay, Joy, what else would you like to

1199
00:43:51,170 --> 00:43:53,510
add to our our conversation so far?

1200
00:43:53,510 --> 00:43:56,420
Joy Spencer:
Yeah, I want to talk about using stories as

1201
00:43:56,420 --> 00:43:58,670
metaphors, because leaders I find often

1202
00:43:58,670 --> 00:44:00,830
struggle with finding the right story to

1203
00:44:00,830 --> 00:44:02,150
tell. So they often are.

1204
00:44:02,180 --> 00:44:04,040
They think about, oh, they think about the

1205
00:44:04,040 --> 00:44:05,780
situation. And then they're like, well, hmm,

1206
00:44:05,780 --> 00:44:07,460
how do I find a story for this?

1207
00:44:07,460 --> 00:44:10,190
And I tend to do it the other way around.

1208
00:44:10,280 --> 00:44:14,480
Your stories are so rich with lessons, with

1209
00:44:14,480 --> 00:44:17,840
themes, with so much that you don't know

1210
00:44:17,840 --> 00:44:19,640
what's in them. So.

1211
00:44:20,350 --> 00:44:22,600
A building, a story bank by just going

1212
00:44:22,600 --> 00:44:24,070
through and finding all these different

1213
00:44:24,070 --> 00:44:26,200
story moments that you've had in your life,

1214
00:44:26,200 --> 00:44:27,970
like going as early as you can and coming up

1215
00:44:27,970 --> 00:44:29,170
to as present as you can.

1216
00:44:29,200 --> 00:44:31,720
You know, remembering the first time your

1217
00:44:31,720 --> 00:44:33,790
mom brought home a puppy, you know, again,

1218
00:44:33,820 --> 00:44:35,950
you know, the bike riding or when you first

1219
00:44:35,950 --> 00:44:37,600
met your best friend at school, all these

1220
00:44:37,600 --> 00:44:38,920
different things. Just think about these

1221
00:44:38,920 --> 00:44:40,600
different moments. Right. And it it is about

1222
00:44:40,600 --> 00:44:44,020
those moments. And then ask, what can I

1223
00:44:44,020 --> 00:44:47,860
learn from this or, or what does what else

1224
00:44:47,860 --> 00:44:49,360
does this make me think of?

1225
00:44:49,420 --> 00:44:52,180
You know, learning how to ride a bike, you

1226
00:44:52,180 --> 00:44:54,730
know, is like learning new technology at the

1227
00:44:54,730 --> 00:44:58,000
office. Or, you know, getting a puppy for

1228
00:44:58,000 --> 00:45:00,640
the first time is like, I don't know, what

1229
00:45:00,640 --> 00:45:01,330
is it like?

1230
00:45:01,330 --> 00:45:04,060
Carol Cox:
Like love. Just like it's like love, right?

1231
00:45:04,360 --> 00:45:06,400
Joy Spencer:
You're right. It's like so, so just thinking

1232
00:45:06,400 --> 00:45:08,800
about what is the story a metaphor for.

1233
00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:12,400
And then that can help you find so many rich

1234
00:45:12,400 --> 00:45:14,590
contexts in which you can use these stories

1235
00:45:14,590 --> 00:45:16,360
that you use typically think, oh, that

1236
00:45:16,360 --> 00:45:19,000
doesn't match or, or where would I use this

1237
00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:20,680
story? And it's like, you can bring so many

1238
00:45:20,680 --> 00:45:22,570
personal story moments.

1239
00:45:22,570 --> 00:45:25,630
And by finding what the underlying theme is

1240
00:45:25,630 --> 00:45:27,880
or the lesson that you can learn from them

1241
00:45:28,330 --> 00:45:30,010
and really help you in a work setting.

1242
00:45:30,010 --> 00:45:31,660
So I have an example. There was a leader who

1243
00:45:31,660 --> 00:45:33,310
I was working with, who she was.

1244
00:45:33,460 --> 00:45:36,220
We were working on developing her story for

1245
00:45:36,220 --> 00:45:37,960
a diversity and Inclusion and belonging

1246
00:45:37,960 --> 00:45:40,390
video series as part of her her team.

1247
00:45:40,390 --> 00:45:43,000
And so she's Puerto Rican and converted,

1248
00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:45,460
converted to Islam later in life.

1249
00:45:45,460 --> 00:45:48,190
And she wanted she was struggling to find a

1250
00:45:48,190 --> 00:45:50,260
story or how to tell the story around that.

1251
00:45:50,260 --> 00:45:51,580
So and she wears a hijab.

1252
00:45:51,580 --> 00:45:54,220
So it was starting to become a little on the

1253
00:45:54,220 --> 00:45:56,260
nose. Right. You know, and so I was like, we

1254
00:45:56,260 --> 00:45:57,610
don't have to do the story that way.

1255
00:45:57,610 --> 00:45:58,960
It doesn't have to be about you being a

1256
00:45:58,960 --> 00:46:02,500
Puerto Rican woman who became a muslim and

1257
00:46:02,500 --> 00:46:04,120
and you wear a hijab and all that.

1258
00:46:04,120 --> 00:46:05,710
It doesn't have to be that. Let's just talk.

1259
00:46:05,710 --> 00:46:08,050
Let's just talk. Let's go through your life.

1260
00:46:08,050 --> 00:46:09,460
Just tell me different stories. So we went

1261
00:46:09,460 --> 00:46:10,750
back and we were just telling different

1262
00:46:10,750 --> 00:46:12,190
stories, and she was just sharing.

1263
00:46:12,190 --> 00:46:14,440
And she shared a story about her dad and

1264
00:46:14,440 --> 00:46:17,800
about how she and her dad ran out into the

1265
00:46:17,800 --> 00:46:20,260
eye of a hurricane one time to check on her

1266
00:46:20,260 --> 00:46:23,110
car. And they, you know, things were quiet

1267
00:46:23,110 --> 00:46:24,220
in the eye of the storm.

1268
00:46:24,220 --> 00:46:26,380
But then the wind started to pick up again.

1269
00:46:26,380 --> 00:46:27,880
And so they were booking it and running

1270
00:46:27,880 --> 00:46:29,920
home, and they finally got home and ran into

1271
00:46:29,920 --> 00:46:32,050
the house, burst out laughing, and their mom

1272
00:46:32,050 --> 00:46:34,030
was like, what is wrong with you people?

1273
00:46:34,030 --> 00:46:35,710
Why would you go out in a hurricane?

1274
00:46:35,710 --> 00:46:37,750
And then I asked her, well, why would you go

1275
00:46:37,750 --> 00:46:39,820
out in a hurricane? And then we just started

1276
00:46:39,820 --> 00:46:41,950
teasing through what the lessons were in

1277
00:46:41,950 --> 00:46:44,260
that. And for her it came up like, well, the

1278
00:46:44,260 --> 00:46:45,850
only person she would have done that with

1279
00:46:45,850 --> 00:46:47,680
was her dad. And I'm like, okay.

1280
00:46:47,680 --> 00:46:49,960
And so we started talking about trust and

1281
00:46:49,960 --> 00:46:51,820
what we will do with people who we really

1282
00:46:51,820 --> 00:46:53,290
trust. And so we made the connection.

1283
00:46:53,290 --> 00:46:54,970
We're like, okay, well, what about and this

1284
00:46:54,970 --> 00:46:56,050
is the story of us. Right?

1285
00:46:56,050 --> 00:46:59,350
Then we switch to maybe people, um, wouldn't

1286
00:46:59,350 --> 00:47:01,090
run out in a hurricane, but you've been part

1287
00:47:01,090 --> 00:47:04,210
of a military, um, troop, or maybe you've

1288
00:47:04,210 --> 00:47:05,500
been a part of a sports team.

1289
00:47:05,500 --> 00:47:07,540
You understand what it is to run into danger

1290
00:47:07,540 --> 00:47:08,860
with people who you trust.

1291
00:47:08,860 --> 00:47:11,500
And so now, in this moment where our team,

1292
00:47:11,500 --> 00:47:13,510
we're faced with the challenges and

1293
00:47:13,510 --> 00:47:16,240
sometimes the difficulties of wrestling

1294
00:47:16,240 --> 00:47:17,410
through diversity and inclusion and

1295
00:47:17,410 --> 00:47:19,480
belonging. And it's not going to be sunshine

1296
00:47:19,480 --> 00:47:20,680
and rainbows, and there's going to be

1297
00:47:20,680 --> 00:47:22,180
challenges, and sometimes it's going to feel

1298
00:47:22,180 --> 00:47:24,610
like a hurricane. But because we trust each

1299
00:47:24,610 --> 00:47:26,140
other, we can get through this.

1300
00:47:26,140 --> 00:47:27,760
We can get through all of it together.

1301
00:47:27,760 --> 00:47:30,550
Look at that. We use her story as a

1302
00:47:30,550 --> 00:47:32,710
metaphor, right? Like we didn't try to,

1303
00:47:32,710 --> 00:47:34,900
like, come up with all these fancy things to

1304
00:47:34,900 --> 00:47:37,690
say, but the richness of what the talk

1305
00:47:37,690 --> 00:47:40,420
became was in the power of that story

1306
00:47:40,420 --> 00:47:44,140
moment. But we let the story tell and reveal

1307
00:47:44,140 --> 00:47:45,970
to us all these powerful nuggets, and then

1308
00:47:45,970 --> 00:47:47,800
we just made the connections going forward.

1309
00:47:47,800 --> 00:47:50,530
So if I leave folks with nothing else, you

1310
00:47:50,530 --> 00:47:53,080
have so many rich, powerful stories that

1311
00:47:53,080 --> 00:47:54,910
that could potentially be really powerful

1312
00:47:55,060 --> 00:47:58,390
talks, if you will trust your story moments

1313
00:47:58,390 --> 00:48:01,180
to tell you and to reveal to you that the

1314
00:48:01,180 --> 00:48:02,950
treasure that they have within them.

1315
00:48:02,950 --> 00:48:04,780
And that's using story as metaphor.

1316
00:48:04,780 --> 00:48:07,270
And I absolutely, I love working with folks

1317
00:48:07,270 --> 00:48:09,040
that way because it gives them themselves

1318
00:48:09,040 --> 00:48:10,240
and their stories back. They're just like,

1319
00:48:10,240 --> 00:48:12,850
oh wow, I didn't know there was so much

1320
00:48:12,850 --> 00:48:17,230
treasure and power in my story because I was

1321
00:48:17,230 --> 00:48:19,330
judging my stories and just trying to get to

1322
00:48:19,330 --> 00:48:21,280
the end without sort of like starting from

1323
00:48:21,280 --> 00:48:23,410
just, let's just sit with the story and see

1324
00:48:23,410 --> 00:48:25,990
what it tells us. So I love doing that.

1325
00:48:25,990 --> 00:48:27,820
Carol Cox:
What a great example, joy.

1326
00:48:27,820 --> 00:48:30,130
And that is also the power of having a

1327
00:48:30,130 --> 00:48:32,380
coach, of working with someone, of talking

1328
00:48:32,380 --> 00:48:35,080
about stuff out loud because you are so

1329
00:48:35,080 --> 00:48:36,880
close to your own story, you know, you've

1330
00:48:36,880 --> 00:48:38,230
either, you know, thought about it in your

1331
00:48:38,230 --> 00:48:40,270
head or told it with your family members or

1332
00:48:40,270 --> 00:48:42,820
whatever for so long that you know the

1333
00:48:42,820 --> 00:48:44,290
specifics of the story, but you don't

1334
00:48:44,290 --> 00:48:47,170
necessarily know the universal themes or the

1335
00:48:47,170 --> 00:48:48,730
lessons, or it's harder for you to pick

1336
00:48:48,730 --> 00:48:50,680
those out because you're so close to it,

1337
00:48:50,680 --> 00:48:52,900
because you were the one doing those things.

1338
00:48:52,900 --> 00:48:55,150
So that is the power of working with us and

1339
00:48:55,150 --> 00:48:57,490
our thought leader Academy as we do, as we

1340
00:48:57,490 --> 00:48:59,920
help women clarify their ideas, pinpoint

1341
00:48:59,920 --> 00:49:01,990
those key stories and build them out, and of

1342
00:49:01,990 --> 00:49:04,360
course, create their entire signature talks

1343
00:49:04,360 --> 00:49:06,190
as well. You can get all the details about

1344
00:49:06,190 --> 00:49:08,020
our Thought Leader Academy at speaking your

1345
00:49:08,020 --> 00:49:10,690
brand. Com Slash Academy.

1346
00:49:10,720 --> 00:49:14,110
Joy is also the host of a fantastic podcast

1347
00:49:14,110 --> 00:49:16,270
called Reframe to Create.

1348
00:49:16,270 --> 00:49:18,040
I'll make sure to include a link to that.

1349
00:49:18,040 --> 00:49:19,600
So if you already enjoyed listening to.

1350
00:49:19,720 --> 00:49:22,510
Podcast. Make sure in your podcast app to

1351
00:49:22,510 --> 00:49:24,910
search for, reframe, to create and follow

1352
00:49:24,910 --> 00:49:26,440
that and listen to Joy's episode.

1353
00:49:26,440 --> 00:49:28,060
Of course, connect with us on LinkedIn.

1354
00:49:28,060 --> 00:49:29,710
All those links are in the show notes as

1355
00:49:29,710 --> 00:49:32,320
well. Diane and Joy, thank you so much for

1356
00:49:32,320 --> 00:49:34,150
once again coming on the Speaking Your Brand

1357
00:49:34,150 --> 00:49:36,550
podcast. I am so grateful to have both of

1358
00:49:36,550 --> 00:49:39,460
you as such, valued contributors to the work

1359
00:49:39,460 --> 00:49:41,380
we do here at Speaking Your Brand.

1360
00:49:41,380 --> 00:49:43,660
It truly does fulfill the mission that we

1361
00:49:43,660 --> 00:49:46,060
have to empower more women, but just more

1362
00:49:46,060 --> 00:49:48,820
people in general to tell their stories so

1363
00:49:48,820 --> 00:49:51,370
that not only for their audiences but also

1364
00:49:51,370 --> 00:49:53,650
for themselves, for positive change in the

1365
00:49:53,650 --> 00:49:55,840
world. So thank you, thank you, thank you.

1366
00:49:56,590 --> 00:49:57,850
Until next time.

1367
00:49:57,850 --> 00:49:58,960
Thanks for listening.