Booth Parker: Today we are going to talk about embracing self accountability.
So that can be a really difficult task when you move into the world
of being self employed or even the whole work from home thing.
So I know a lot of people obviously with COVID became a "work from home"
versus "work in office" employee and so they've had to really change the
way they get things done every day.
So I have been asked numerous times how I hold myself accountable and
how I made that shift when I left corporate America, the nine to
five, whatever you want to call it.
But when I left that several years ago and became self employed and do
my own thing and how I hold myself accountable to get things done every day.
It's really not something you think about before you make that shift.
Do you think it's going to be easy?
You're just so excited to maybe be leaving the rat race, whatever you want to call
it, with the nine to five type situation.
And so you don't think about it being.
difficult now having all of the time for yourself to decide
how you're going to spend it.
But like many others, I, I also found it a little bit of a struggle when I left
that corporate America mentality and the strict schedule and became self-employed.
So, when you're a kid, your, your parents hold you accountable, right?
They make you get out of bed at certain times, they make you go
to bed at certain times, they make you eat dinner at certain times.
So, you're very held accountable by your parents and a lot of the
accountability that they are putting onto you is dictated by other schedules.
Maybe their work schedule, definitely the school schedule, and you might not
really care about disappointing your parents about going to bed on time, but
you're, you get this kind of almost...
Fear, you could call it, when you're a kid.
It gets instilled in you that you need to stick to this schedule because
you're being held accountable to someone and you might get in trouble
if you're late or something like that.
Remember that old tardy bell at school?
If you came in after that final bell, you might have detention
or something of the like.
So it was instilled at a young age that you would answer to
authority, basically, and that was who was holding you accountable.
So fast forward, you grow up, you get a job, you get a big girl job, big
boy job, whichever, you get a job, and now you're held accountable by that
job schedule by your new boss, by your employer, however you want to look at it.
And that whole fear of being late, of not getting things done is still there.
Just like it was when you were a kid in school, because now the
repercussions may not just be detention.
Now they may be losing your job and being unemployed and not being able
to feed yourself or pay your rent.
So it can kind of spiral out of control quickly.
And so that fear stays there and you stay accountable to the job, the boss, even if
you don't love it and it's not making you happy, you still stay accountable to it.
I know for me when I was working the whole nine to five thing and
many others who have a strict work schedule that holds them accountable,
you create the rest of your planner, your schedule for your personal life,
your family, all that kind of stuff.
You revolve it around that other schedule.
So that work schedule is what's holding you accountable on all
fronts in your life, so to speak.
If you need to leave your house by 7:30 to drop the kids off at school,
to get to work on time and a workout is important to you; you're going to
have to get up at maybe 5:00 AM to get a workout in, but that's still...
the accountability factor there is still actually the job holding over you, right?
Like you are making yourself get up.
You're, you're exerting some self discipline there, but the
accountability is coming from you have to get it done before you go to
work if it's going to happen that day.
And likewise, that was when I started meal prepping.
Okay.
So I would meal prep on Sundays to get everything done for the week because
I knew I wasn't getting home from work until 6:00 to 6:30, not really enough
time to prep and cook a full meal.
So I would do it ahead of time.
I know a lot of people that meal plan, meal prep, that work and don't
get home until later in the evenings because they need these things.
Done.
So the meal prepping, the errand running, the laundry, all of these
kind of things get dictated by when you're at home and not at work.
And the thing is, when you're super busy like that, and you know you're
out of the house for 40 to 60 hours a week with a job, you get efficient and
productive at getting things done because you look at your calendar and you find
those little spaces to squeeze those tasks in and you get them done because
you don't really have another choice.
In all honesty, in a way, it was easier for me to get everything done when I was
held accountable to that strict schedule until I implemented some new systems.
But looking back at it, like I was, I had such little time to
fit it all in that I was very, very efficient at getting it done.
And then came the day I left the whole 9 to 5 rat race and can't lie, I kind of
got into a rut with my schedule at first.
I was like, oh, well, I don't have to do this quite yet this morning
because I have time this afternoon.
And before you know it, you haven't gotten anything done.
You can't really list out any accomplishments for the day.
And now it's dinner time, and you didn't meal prep, and you
don't have anything to eat.
So, it can quickly become a time vampire, so to speak.
So you've got to create a way to hold yourself accountable
to still stay on task.
It's funny because I was so good at planning and scheduling, and then all of
a sudden, I just wasn't doing it because I wasn't holding myself accountable in a
way, it was probably like my inner child rebelling, like, no, I'm not going to
school today or something like that, but it quickly became where I was not super
joyful and content and fulfilled because I was letting myself down because I wasn't
getting things done that I wanted to do.
I wasn't getting the workout in and I wasn't getting new
projects I wanted to start.
I wasn't even getting them started, much less completed, so it was a whole kind
of domino effect of not getting things completed or even started because there
was no accountability factor whatsoever.
So then one day I realized I was going to have to hold myself accountable.
I was going to have to be accountable to me.
But then the question is, how?
And that's the question I've gotten asked by a lot of people.
How did I decide to kind of put my foot down for myself and then
start holding myself accountable?
So I like to think of self discipline as a form of self love.
It's really where the joy, the fulfillment, the contentment is found
when you start with self discipline.
I recognized that there was a lack of accountability in my life.
I would look and see that things weren't getting done, and the why
they weren't getting things done is because I wasn't making myself do them,
I wasn't making things a priority, I didn't have the self discipline,
the accountability, all of those factors, so things were not happening.
And I had to stop and recognize that, and then recognize I was going to
have to start doing these things.
So now it's time to hold myself accountable and to be self disciplined.
But what I'm really doing is I'm showing up for myself now.
I used to show up for a boss or an employer, co-workers or whomever at
work was putting the pressure on me.
But now I'm showing up for myself and that's a better boss, right?
Showing up for yourself.
So when you kind of start to look at it that way, that you're showing up
for you, that you are the boss now, you're in charge, it's motivating.
You want to make that boss happy and proud of you, and you don't want to
get in trouble with that boss, right?
So show up for yourself, and that's where you are able to start
implementing the self discipline to hold yourself accountable.
It's like this big circle that just keeps going around and around and around.
So when you implement self discipline, you are actually creating action.
Because that self discipline is making you take action and get things done.
And then once you start taking action on things, whether it's the workouts, or
making a meal, or starting a project, any of those kind of things, those actions
are what start to deliver results.
And then as you start to get results, and the circle keeps going, it's
getting the momentum, then you start getting success, and fulfillment, and
joy, and all these kind of things.
Like you probably already know, I'm a planner.
So I had to decide what my plan was going to be to start with that self discipline,
to get that whole circle, that whole wheel rolling and get that momentum going.
That's where I went back to my planner and my schedule.
So I recently was talking about productivity and how I do a
lot of my planning nowadays.
For a long time, I was just a paper person, and now I'm a
blended paper digital person.
But this is actually where I really started using the digital
side more, was when I was trying to implement the self discipline.
So the beauty of a Google Calendar is you can create an event in
there and set it on repeat.
You can say, every Tuesday at 10 o'clock, I'm going to hot yoga.
And you put it in there and it goes ahead and blocks that time out for you.
So that is what I started doing to implement a way
to hold myself accountable.
It was already on the schedule, week in and week out.
So the workout classes I wanted to commit myself to, I went
ahead and put them in there.
I think they're in there for the rest of the year.
So they're already in there every time I'm looking at what
I have going on the next week.
The other beautiful thing about putting these commitments to yourself into
that Google Calendar and setting them on repeat is when you do need to make
an appointment or maybe use Calendly for clients to make appointments,
your "you time," your commitment to yourself is already blocked off.
And so you know what to work around so that you don't end
up letting yourself down.
You've made your time and you a priority on your schedule.
You're holding yourself accountable.
You're getting those things done.
Whether it's a workout, Or maybe you block out time to write.
Maybe you're a writer and you want to block out two hours a day to write.
You've got to, if you block it out on the calendar and make that commitment
to yourself, you won't schedule stuff in its slot there on your calendar.
Another big one that I messed up on when I left Corporate America
and was now self employed doing my own thing was my mornings.
So, some, I've heard some people say, I heard this one, one time, this
guy said you don't need a morning routine, you just need morning habits.
And I was like, well that's kind of what your morning routine is, is it's
the habits you do every morning and they create the routine, but whether
you call it a routine or habits, whichever, what you do every morning
really does set your day up for success.
It sets you up for getting things done, keeping that mindset of staying
on task and accomplishing all of those things that you want to do.
What I was doing wrong when I first left corporate America was I had a
very set morning schedule back then and I, you know, the rebelling thing
came out for a little while and my mornings were different every day.
One morning I might sit and have coffee and journal the next morning.
I.
Might make an early morning appointment or something like that.
And so I decided that I needed some cohesiveness to my mornings
so that I was knocking things out that I wanted to do each day.
It was really hard to get in good journal time when I was making
an early morning appointment.
And then by the time I got home, it's mid morning and there's other things to do
and you don't have that sit down time.
So I really created a dedicated morning routine of habits from journaling to,
I like to read some type of educational material for 20 to 30 minutes every
morning, whether it's a growth book or something where I'm learning more
about my profession, things like that.
My mind is freshest in the morning, even though I'm not necessarily
a morning person, but my mind is freshest in the morning and I want
to capitalize on that quality time.
So by marking that space on my calendar for every day to have that time for
myself, I'm already holding myself accountable and getting things done.
All starts back on that wheel, right?
Action, progress, results, and then the momentum just keeps right on going.
And you may need to get an accountability partner.
So some people work really well having someone else hold them accountable.
Your spouse may even be able to hold you accountable.
So if you really think you need some kind of additional accountability, get
an accountability partner and like I said, it could be your spouse, it could
be someone you don't know super well there's even apps and stuff out there
where it can make you check in and things like that to hold you accountable.
So if you need that little extra little kick in the butt, so to speak, then
definitely do it and make it happen.
So I like to do like a daily top three things that are like my goals for
the day of things I want to get done.
And as you're starting this journey of self accountability, they can
be, they can be small things while you're getting that momentum going.
So if the workout is a really big deal to you, you really want to
make it happen, make that one of your daily top three for a while.
But then you'll get to a place where you're holding yourself so accountable and
it's there on the schedule and everything.
It won't need to be on your daily top three because it's going to
be on autopilot, so to speak.
It's just going to be happening.
Just like getting up and brushing your teeth and feeding the dog or whatever.
So, start where you can check things off and you get that satisfaction.
You're getting the results.
You're taking action.
You're getting the results.
You're getting the momentum of that wheel of self accountability rolling.
And then once you start making those little things, just.
Habits that you almost don't even have to think about.
Then you start putting the bigger projects you want to start and other tasks like
that you want to do on that daily top three, because you've got the momentum
to hold yourself accountable to them.
And another thing I started doing was I don't have a really elaborate evening
routine, but I do like to get in bed early enough where I can I like to
read fiction at night, not the, not the stuff where I'm really trying to learn
something, but maybe read for a little bit make some notes for the next day,
but I definitely always like to review my tasks and my schedule for the next day.
It kind of sets my brain up for when I wake up the next morning,
I'm hitting the floor running and I'm getting those things done.
And the accountability is already there.
My brain knows what it's got to get checked off that next day.
So taking a few minutes each night before you go to bed and reviewing those kind
of things that you know you're going to have to hold yourself accountable
for the next day goes ahead and sets you up for success the next day.
We want to set ourselves up for success.
Right?
So, letting ourselves down can often be worse than letting others down.
Right?
We know what we expect of ourselves.
We know what we're capable of deep down inside.
And so when we let ourselves down, it really, really sets our
mindset into a place where we are not moving forward with momentum.
Implementing that accountability plan, back to that whole wheel.
Getting that wheel, that big circle rolling with momentum
actually will give you confidence.
And confidence is what you need to keep going with all
the new tasks you want to do.
One little step leads to the next.
The action, action, action.
Results, results, results.
I kind of like to think of it as a roadmap to your best self, and I know
that whole best self thing is kind of played out these days, but it really is
a true thing, like we want to live up to what we know we can do, and we want
to put ourselves in a situation where we are happy, where we are content with
what we're doing, where we are fulfilled with what we're achieving, and we're just
very, very joy filled and grateful, and having that accountability plan to make
sure you're holding yourself to your highest standard is how you get there.
You've got to love yourself, but sometimes, and this one's hard,
but sometimes you've got to give yourself a little tough love, right?
Just like you would your kids maybe your spouse time to time, things like that.
Sometimes you've got to give yourself a little tough love because
you know what you can do if you just hold yourself accountable.