Show Notes
Welcome to Awaken The Warrior In you. This is your host, Edison Ho
In this episode, I will be sharing with you, “My love story with my wife”
Story 1
Before I got to know my wife, I was just like any other ordinary man, going to the club every weekend to pick up girls and also trying to date nice ladies from dating apps. And through one dating app, that was where I met my wife, “Nica.”
In the beginning, we just exchanged a few words from the app and ex changed our number, but we did not maintain the connection or stay in touch. And you won’t believe it, after 2 years, we met again in the same app! The conversation started with “I think I know you.” And that was how everything started.
We started to go out for coffee.
One day, my good best friend asked me, do I have any nice lady to introduce to him, and I was thinking, he is much older than me and he really needs to get a girlfriend. So I decided to introduce Nica, to match them up by setting up a dinner together.
Do you believe in fate? That day, when she came to meet us, she didn’t want to sit beside my friend, she sat beside me. So we started to introduce each other. The whole time, I can tell she is not interested in him at all. It was a flop.
Story 2
We started to go out more often as friends, meet up for movies and coffee. I wasn’t serious at all, I was just being playful and needed more female friends instead of my good friend.
6 years back, during New Year countdown, she asked me if I have any plan, I told her I am going club with my group of friends for a countdown, So she kind of sadly nodded (I can sense it), But hey, I don’t consider myself attached at that moment, I still wanna hang out and enjoy my freedom.
That night, after the countdown, I was a little tipsy and I couldn’t get a cab home, everyone was calling for a cab. It was already 1am! So I tried my luck, I texted Nica to ask if she was already asleep, I wanted her to take a cab from Hougang to Clarke Quay and get me out of here. HONESTLY, I didn’t expect she would agree, who would?
Unexpectedly she agreed! And my heart SANK. That moment, I told myself, I am a total asshole. How could I do that to her?
And after that day, everything changed. The way I looked at her was different. I will never meet another girl who will do the same thing for me, I’ve never met a woman in my life that treated me as a priority, I needed to give this relationship a chance to blossom!
We started to date seriously, at least for me, I was treating it seriously. I also moved out from my parents place to live with her in a rented room for 3 years.
Story 3
In those 3 years, we traveled to many places together. We went to Boracay, Manila, Krabi, Bangkok, Japan, Geneva, New Zealand and Bali. We enjoyed it as much as we could, while the relationship lasted, maybe deep inside us, we weren't sure if this relationship was going anywhere even though we were close.
But during our trip to New Zealand, I decided I want to propose to her. We had known each other for 5 years, she had spent most of her time with me and gave up her dream of going to Switzerland to meet her mum and further her studies.
I mean, I am not a womanizer, but I had more than enough experience to say who is the one for me and loves me, has been there for me throughout my ups and down and so selfless about herself when it comes to me.
And so, during the middle of the trip at the national park, west central, south island, “Mount Cook”, I proposed to her kneeling, in front of all these beautiful mountains and clouds floating around us. It was so beautiful.
At that moment, when she said yes, with tears coming down her face, I knew, this was the moment we both have been waiting for. I wore the ring for her, holded each other's hand so tight and walked down that mountain. I said to her, one day we will bring our kids here and tell them, this is the exact location papa proposed to your mum.
So this is how Nica became my wife. Very quickly within a month, we prepared for the wedding ceremony at Royal Plaza on Scotts. We wanted a more modern wedding ceremony, so we didn’t invite a lot of people, just our close friends and family. We say our vows in front of all our loved ones and the journey of husband and wife begins.
Many newly married couples wanted to take a few years' honeymoon before having a child, but for us it was different, we had traveled a few, we wanted to become young parents and be able to do more things with them, so we decided to have our first child during our first year of marriage. We got a very handsome son, “Jacob.” We were so fonder over him, although he had quite a severe eczema, we really had a hard time with it. Nica even cried during certain occasions. This was our first challenge as husband and wife. Sometimes we got frustrated with different opinions on how we are going to help him, spending lots of time sending him to doctors which affected our career.
Despite all these challenges, we stuck together and got stronger as a couple. We understand each other's emotions more and how to deal with each other under the pressure of external stress.
As Jacob grows, we want him to have companionship beside only us. We are animal lovers but not so much pet lovers, so we decided to give Jacob another sibling! When Jacob turns two, we have one baby girl, a baby sister for Jacob.
It was another most beautiful moment when I saw my daughter, Gia, first arrive from Nica. The first cry, it was precious, just the same as when I saw Jacob. The feeling of waiting in the room for the nurses to push my wife and my daughter back to meet me was so exciting, you can never buy this experience, unless you go through it yourself.
Now having two kids at home, my wife and I agreed that our lifestyle has to change, for good. To many couples, this is a big sacrifice, but to us, seeing them happy, makes us even more happy. Sometimes I wonder, how should I describe this sort of feeling? Because this is beyond just merely happy. This is a calling within one self, when you are ready to become a parent or willing to sacrifice part of your life and re-build another, you will know, ok, this is time to let go of the past.
2-3 take away
Looking back now when I decided to get married, I did not regret it at all. Yes, we all might come to some point of life, thinking back if we made the right choice, especially when things get tough, kids issue, financial or social temptation, but if you are happy most of the time, then do not look back anymore, because life will still goes on, whether or not you made the right choice.
And I was glad that we dated and got to know each other for a while before we got married. The key point here is, get to know each other well before getting married. Go travel together, and you will kind of know if this person is the one you can live with. Traveling together needs a lot of compromise between each other, so that will be your best way to test the relationship. Or another way is to move in together for a year or so. Living together for a few days might seem fun but living for a long period of time will be a different game.
Conclusion
If you are single and looking for a partner, never rush into one because marriage is a big decision in life. And if you are already married, never make hurtful decisions when you are upset. Calm yourself down and think of all the great memories with your partner and rethink your decision. I hope my stories and two cents of advice help you in some way.