WEBVTT NOTE This file was generated by Descript 00:00:04.672 --> 00:00:10.052 We are here at the Bridging to Resilience Conference in Wichita, Kansas, and 00:00:10.072 --> 00:00:12.572 we have here with us Sydney Perkins. 00:00:12.582 --> 00:00:14.932 Sydney, welcome to Resilient Schools. 00:00:15.297 --> 00:00:15.827 Thank you. 00:00:15.957 --> 00:00:18.147 I'm very glad to be here. 00:00:18.225 --> 00:00:21.955 I have not had a chance to do this yet. 00:00:22.015 --> 00:00:27.088 And I am very glad that my principal just happened to catch me after 00:00:27.088 --> 00:00:30.672 school one day and asked if I would want to, come be a part of this. 00:00:30.772 --> 00:00:34.792 And I really am glad that I took her up on the offer. 00:00:34.982 --> 00:00:36.012 Good, good. 00:00:36.432 --> 00:00:38.542 So, why did she want you to come? 00:00:39.047 --> 00:00:44.537 I don't even think that like we had gotten any information about it. 00:00:44.587 --> 00:00:49.447 Some of us were staying after school working and she came down my hall and 00:00:49.563 --> 00:00:51.063 she just asked if I wanted to come. 00:00:52.038 --> 00:00:55.258 So did you know anything about what this conference was about beforehand? 00:00:55.338 --> 00:00:59.048 We have had other staff members in our building, they've attended Bridging to 00:00:59.048 --> 00:01:05.518 Resilience before, and, I know a teacher in my building, she's even presented at 00:01:05.548 --> 00:01:10.248 the conference before as well, and so I knew a little bit about it, but I just 00:01:10.398 --> 00:01:10.913 I just didn't 00:01:10.948 --> 00:01:11.948 didn't know what to expect. 00:01:12.028 --> 00:01:16.138 It's like when people say you had to be there, to really know. 00:01:16.258 --> 00:01:18.568 What has been your takeaways so far? 00:01:18.578 --> 00:01:18.598 Um, 00:01:18.860 --> 00:01:23.234 Every day after I leave here, I just go over and over in my mind, I 00:01:23.234 --> 00:01:25.574 just put it into like one word 00:01:26.591 --> 00:01:27.059 Hopeful, 00:01:27.244 --> 00:01:28.244 Powerful, 00:01:28.347 --> 00:01:29.667 Inspirational, 00:01:29.870 --> 00:01:32.145 Encouraging, Brave, 00:01:32.575 --> 00:01:34.795 courageous, challenging. 00:01:34.865 --> 00:01:35.605 Tons of things. 00:01:35.905 --> 00:01:37.985 Yeah, so you teach kindergarten, right? 00:01:38.205 --> 00:01:38.275 Yes. 00:01:38.705 --> 00:01:44.705 And so, you're working with young kids that are sometimes fresh out of the home, 00:01:44.705 --> 00:01:47.035 their first out of the home experience. 00:01:47.610 --> 00:01:52.660 What does this stuff, what are you learning that's helping you 00:01:52.660 --> 00:01:54.140 with working with kids that young? 00:01:55.600 --> 00:01:59.620 Really helping me to, like I've heard before, you know, don't take 00:01:59.620 --> 00:02:05.020 things personally, or the child's behavior isn't because of you. 00:02:05.530 --> 00:02:09.540 And I feel like that has really kind of like resonated with me after some of the 00:02:09.540 --> 00:02:12.010 things that I've heard at the conference. 00:02:12.070 --> 00:02:13.580 And has really, 00:02:13.714 --> 00:02:15.244 shifted my mind. 00:02:15.754 --> 00:02:15.864 mind, 00:02:15.934 --> 00:02:16.584 And. 00:02:16.752 --> 00:02:22.702 tried to, just put myself in the students shoes, and see it from their perspective. 00:02:22.702 --> 00:02:23.042 Like, 00:02:23.122 --> 00:02:23.722 maybe 00:02:23.732 --> 00:02:28.202 they're not communicating to me with their words, what they need. 00:02:28.492 --> 00:02:32.622 And that's what, my administrator and I've heard other educators say before, too, 00:02:32.622 --> 00:02:36.402 is behavior is a form of communication. 00:02:36.572 --> 00:02:36.962 right. 00:02:37.008 --> 00:02:39.608 It's difficult for adults to communicate like this. 00:02:39.718 --> 00:02:43.398 It's sometimes impossible for kids to communicate really what's 00:02:43.398 --> 00:02:46.378 going on in their bodies, in their hearts and their feelings. 00:02:46.378 --> 00:02:50.938 So, what are some of the things that you're doing already or that you've 00:02:50.938 --> 00:02:54.948 learned at this conference that you need to be paying more attention to? 00:02:55.278 --> 00:03:00.365 When we had staff members, I attend Bridging to Resilience. 00:03:00.445 --> 00:03:04.815 In the past they've shared things that they took away from the conference. 00:03:04.885 --> 00:03:07.965 They shared it with our whole staff, like at a staff meeting. 00:03:08.575 --> 00:03:12.165 One of the things that I was interested in was tapping. 00:03:12.555 --> 00:03:15.635 Once I heard about it, I YouTubed it, cause there's a 00:03:15.635 --> 00:03:17.465 video, it's tapping for kids. 00:03:17.945 --> 00:03:19.805 I started using that in my classroom. 00:03:20.305 --> 00:03:21.605 And can you tell us about tapping? 00:03:21.605 --> 00:03:21.614 Sure. 00:03:21.615 --> 00:03:21.825 Sure. 00:03:21.825 --> 00:03:22.995 What is that for those who don't 00:03:23.100 --> 00:03:23.420 Tapping. 00:03:23.590 --> 00:03:28.400 It's just like a calming strategy and it's tapping on all your pressure points. 00:03:28.720 --> 00:03:34.030 And then while you're tapping, you repeat like positive affirmations. 00:03:34.095 --> 00:03:39.165 And I just feel like to release like some of the stress and 00:03:39.175 --> 00:03:41.835 things going on for kids. 00:03:41.890 --> 00:03:46.070 I do morning meeting every day, and I vary it. 00:03:46.080 --> 00:03:49.780 So sometimes it's like a circle up, sometimes it's like a 00:03:49.780 --> 00:03:52.050 partner sharing kind of thing. 00:03:52.110 --> 00:03:56.590 I do a lot of social skills stories, and I have puppets that I use. 00:03:57.150 --> 00:03:59.020 I do a lot of breathing. 00:03:59.190 --> 00:04:03.420 I think breathing is really important for calming. 00:04:03.793 --> 00:04:08.943 My kids are little and so I know that they have to move. 00:04:09.083 --> 00:04:12.943 And so I try to recognize that, when they need to move. 00:04:13.643 --> 00:04:17.293 One of the speakers yesterday said that, kids should not be sitting longer 00:04:17.343 --> 00:04:19.473 in minutes, than their age in years. 00:04:19.673 --> 00:04:19.703 Yes. 00:04:19.873 --> 00:04:23.213 So that's like every five minutes you gotta be moving in kindergarten. 00:04:23.433 --> 00:04:25.263 Is that what you're trying to do with movement? 00:04:25.393 --> 00:04:27.403 Some days it's harder than others. 00:04:27.743 --> 00:04:34.153 Something that I was thinking about today, all of these social emotional things are 00:04:34.233 --> 00:04:39.983 so important, to do with kids, like, de escalation strategies, calming, breathing, 00:04:40.073 --> 00:04:42.816 those things, but then it's like, 00:04:43.129 --> 00:04:43.295 kids 00:04:43.374 --> 00:04:47.414 are five years old and I have to try and also incorporate movement all throughout 00:04:47.414 --> 00:04:52.844 the day and like you said every five minutes and then I feel pressure as 00:04:52.844 --> 00:04:57.224 a teacher well I have to teach them how to add and subtract or I have to 00:04:57.224 --> 00:05:03.694 teach them to read so I feel it's just pressure from like the administration 00:05:03.704 --> 00:05:10.299 or my district that I have to, well my kids have to read and write and do math 00:05:10.439 --> 00:05:16.023 it's going to show in my test scores and things like that so that's frustrating 00:05:16.233 --> 00:05:22.483 because I wholeheartedly believe that, social skills are so important 00:05:22.503 --> 00:05:22.533 and 00:05:23.273 --> 00:05:28.323 I'm honest with parents at conferences and I tell them, I will do my best 00:05:28.323 --> 00:05:34.283 to help your kid be able to read and write and add and subtract and count 00:05:34.333 --> 00:05:41.466 but my priority is to help them be good human beings. 00:05:41.476 --> 00:05:45.796 Like when they leave my classroom, I just hope that they are a kind person. 00:05:45.926 --> 00:05:47.326 I don't know any other way to say it. 00:05:47.551 --> 00:05:48.681 Yeah, that's great. 00:05:49.061 --> 00:05:53.781 I think that's a really important perspective to take because, nobody's 00:05:53.781 --> 00:05:55.381 going to remember any lessons that you do. 00:05:56.021 --> 00:05:58.961 I mean, you're going to do 180 lessons throughout the year. 00:05:59.636 --> 00:06:03.396 a kid might remember one or two of them, maybe, which is less 00:06:03.396 --> 00:06:05.306 than 1 percent of your lessons. 00:06:05.406 --> 00:06:08.996 But what they are going to remember are those deeper things that you taught them. 00:06:09.066 --> 00:06:13.396 And one of my beliefs is that when you actually learn something 00:06:13.786 --> 00:06:17.736 spiritually, like at a deeper level, I use the word spiritually. 00:06:17.736 --> 00:06:19.526 You can use whatever other word you want. 00:06:19.896 --> 00:06:22.056 When you learn something spiritually, you never forget it. 00:06:22.371 --> 00:06:27.931 And so when kids learn that you love them, when kids learn that they, have 00:06:27.931 --> 00:06:31.771 the ability to chase their dreams and accomplish them, when they learn 00:06:31.771 --> 00:06:35.691 what it feels like to set a goal and accomplish that goal, that's a really 00:06:35.701 --> 00:06:37.981 powerful thing that nobody ever forgets. 00:06:37.991 --> 00:06:39.231 You remember that stuff. 00:06:39.661 --> 00:06:42.701 There's even been studies on people who learn how to ride a bike that you don't 00:06:42.761 --> 00:06:44.531 forget that even if you get amnesia. 00:06:44.941 --> 00:06:48.941 And the powerful thing there is that there are certain things that you don't forget. 00:06:49.311 --> 00:06:52.851 And reading is one of those skills that you're most likely 00:06:52.851 --> 00:06:54.421 not going to forget how to read. 00:06:54.711 --> 00:06:56.511 So it's foundational and important. 00:06:56.881 --> 00:07:00.621 But also, is not as important as the kind of person that you're going to be. 00:07:00.901 --> 00:07:04.071 Well, they just then they say to you like relationships, relationships, 00:07:04.071 --> 00:07:06.981 relationships, connection is so important. 00:07:07.001 --> 00:07:09.351 And I, 100 00:07:09.368 --> 00:07:10.788 percent agree with that too. 00:07:10.788 --> 00:07:14.768 I mean, if you don't have a relationship with someone, then you're not going to be 00:07:14.778 --> 00:07:18.958 interested in learning or being with them. 00:07:19.058 --> 00:07:20.598 Yeah, yeah, totally. 00:07:21.058 --> 00:07:25.458 And it's so important to have that relationship because the relationship 00:07:25.458 --> 00:07:30.943 is what allows you to know when and how to push, know when and how to 00:07:30.953 --> 00:07:35.873 back off and have patience and have empathy and when to have accountability 00:07:35.873 --> 00:07:37.133 and all those kinds of things. 00:07:37.453 --> 00:07:41.133 And in kindergarten, like kids love everybody. 00:07:41.463 --> 00:07:45.343 So that probably is pretty easy, but it gets harder as they get older. 00:07:45.343 --> 00:07:50.103 What would be your advice to older grade teachers to help, do more to connect 00:07:50.103 --> 00:07:51.733 and build relationships with kids. 00:07:51.763 --> 00:07:52.273 Man. 00:07:52.608 --> 00:07:56.188 I don't know if I could pinpoint one thing, or even 00:07:56.188 --> 00:07:58.208 if I have, the right answer. 00:07:58.308 --> 00:08:02.018 I just, you have to get to know the kids. 00:08:02.348 --> 00:08:05.878 While we're talking about this, I'm just thinking of one particular student 00:08:05.903 --> 00:08:07.213 in my class. 00:08:07.278 --> 00:08:13.718 who I have a relationship with, and he respects me, and if I need 00:08:13.718 --> 00:08:19.188 to, Get him back on task or remind him of the expectations or whatever. 00:08:19.668 --> 00:08:22.558 He will do it willingly. 00:08:23.911 --> 00:08:24.058 Knows 00:08:24.058 --> 00:08:27.848 that I have taken the time to build that relationship with him. 00:08:27.858 --> 00:08:30.518 I have private conversations with him. 00:08:30.968 --> 00:08:33.788 And I guess that's one thing I would say is like, 00:08:34.698 --> 00:08:34.838 You 00:08:34.838 --> 00:08:37.908 can't call students out in front of everyone else. 00:08:38.068 --> 00:08:45.158 Especially students who come with trauma because they already feel that stress. 00:08:45.238 --> 00:08:49.448 And, they may have low self esteem about themselves too. 00:08:49.448 --> 00:08:53.688 And if you take the time to work with them one on one. 00:08:54.033 --> 00:08:58.269 And just really get to know, their strengths or, even their 00:08:58.269 --> 00:09:03.476 weaknesses and help them know how to, cope , or handle, struggles, 00:09:03.526 --> 00:09:03.856 yeah. 00:09:04.316 --> 00:09:07.826 And this goes back to what you were saying before about really knowing the 00:09:07.826 --> 00:09:12.096 kids and building relationships with them, because the truth is, your 00:09:12.096 --> 00:09:15.996 default should not be to call out a kid in front of everybody else. 00:09:16.296 --> 00:09:20.701 Once you know a kid and you know that actually is not harmful to 00:09:20.701 --> 00:09:21.916 that kid, but it actually like. 00:09:22.791 --> 00:09:26.661 helps them see the reality of the situation, then you should call them 00:09:26.661 --> 00:09:30.351 out in front of their peers, because you know them well enough to know this 00:09:30.361 --> 00:09:32.031 is what's going to work in the moment. 00:09:32.491 --> 00:09:39.221 And so much of our thoughts and beliefs about how we should manage 00:09:39.551 --> 00:09:44.141 classrooms and students and stuff comes down to like these ways of getting 00:09:44.141 --> 00:09:46.351 everybody to be the same, right? 00:09:46.391 --> 00:09:48.351 And having them all conform to each other. 00:09:48.761 --> 00:09:52.621 And the reality is, we need to see them as individuals and respect them as 00:09:52.621 --> 00:09:57.411 individuals and be able to say, Hey, I know that this is going to work for you. 00:09:57.631 --> 00:10:01.051 I'm not going to treat this other kid over here the exact same, because 00:10:01.161 --> 00:10:02.281 it's not going to work for them. 00:10:02.291 --> 00:10:05.581 So, I'm going to treat you as an individual. 00:10:05.871 --> 00:10:10.871 That, that's so important, but so challenging for adults with 00:10:11.181 --> 00:10:13.291 30, 35 kids in the classroom. 00:10:13.651 --> 00:10:17.201 But it's really the most effective way to do it. 00:10:17.221 --> 00:10:18.271 Anything you'd add there? 00:10:18.987 --> 00:10:22.034 and you can get out there. 00:10:22.784 --> 00:10:25.704 uh, in closing, Sydney, Kristen, 00:10:26.341 --> 00:10:32.081 I think you, you have all this stuff you've gotten over the last three days. 00:10:32.581 --> 00:10:36.221 What is one action that you're going to take as a result of 00:10:36.251 --> 00:10:37.741 being at Bridging to Resilience? 00:10:38.111 --> 00:10:42.941 I guess the one thing that's coming to my mind is like, just being mindful, 00:10:43.651 --> 00:10:45.711 And intentional, 00:10:46.351 --> 00:10:48.621 Figure out what, 00:10:48.824 --> 00:10:49.944 specific thing 00:10:49.954 --> 00:10:56.941 is that my students need and how can I be intentional For helping 00:10:56.941 --> 00:11:00.111 them get their basic needs met 00:11:00.328 --> 00:11:02.898 And remembering that they are human too 00:11:03.148 --> 00:11:03.328 Yeah. 00:11:04.388 --> 00:11:06.618 Which I I'm honest with my students too. 00:11:06.618 --> 00:11:08.868 I tell them like even I make mistakes. 00:11:08.868 --> 00:11:12.744 Nobody's perfect But yeah in the moment when the 00:11:13.429 --> 00:11:13.822 behaviors 00:11:14.809 --> 00:11:21.149 It's hard to remember when I'm feeling dysregulated and I'm feeling, while 00:11:21.149 --> 00:11:25.129 this is frustrating for me that this student is behaving this way, what can 00:11:25.129 --> 00:11:29.919 I do to remember the behavior is not about me, so don't take it personally, 00:11:30.419 --> 00:11:36.789 and how am I going to respond and not react, how can I respond and meet 00:11:36.789 --> 00:11:42.474 that student where they are and get Than what they need in that moment. 00:11:42.769 --> 00:11:45.669 It's funny you and several others have brought up the idea that 00:11:45.779 --> 00:11:50.693 behavior is not personal and, my first presentation on trauma that 00:11:50.693 --> 00:11:53.173 I ever did, that was my suggestion. 00:11:53.523 --> 00:11:55.843 One of the things that you can do is make sure that you don't 00:11:55.933 --> 00:11:58.653 take the behavior personally. 00:11:59.143 --> 00:12:03.293 And I had somebody come to me after that session and say, you know, Jethro, 00:12:03.353 --> 00:12:08.933 that really is not good advice because Everything is personal to teachers and I 00:12:08.933 --> 00:12:15.103 was like be that as it may you still can't take it personally because this kid is not 00:12:15.103 --> 00:12:21.883 directing it at you and I still remember feeling like this person was wrong they 00:12:21.883 --> 00:12:27.133 were saying you can't tell people not to take it personally and I was like no you 00:12:27.133 --> 00:12:31.303 have to not take it personally you if you take it personally it's just gonna 00:12:31.303 --> 00:12:36.363 destroy you and It was so interesting because they were adamant that I not say 00:12:36.363 --> 00:12:42.483 that anymore in my presentations and This was like what six years ago or something 00:12:42.773 --> 00:12:46.753 or five years ago somewhere around there Anyway, I just remember that and so 00:12:46.753 --> 00:12:52.053 it's so reaffirming to hear you say that here other people here say that I and I 00:12:52.853 --> 00:12:53.433 to hear you say that 00:12:53.683 --> 00:12:56.113 struggling day. 00:12:56.113 --> 00:12:59.565 I have in the class How do I not take this 00:13:02.455 --> 00:13:04.971 when it is when it happens for me, 00:13:05.356 --> 00:13:05.916 and hear other people here say that. 00:13:06.521 --> 00:13:10.051 Again, it's frustrating for me, but then, like, if I have a substitute, 00:13:10.061 --> 00:13:13.511 or we have specials classes, so they have different teachers for P. 00:13:13.511 --> 00:13:13.761 E. 00:13:13.761 --> 00:13:17.681 and science and all those classes, and things, so when the student acts that 00:13:17.681 --> 00:13:22.231 way towards me, but doesn't act that way towards other teachers or adults, 00:13:22.261 --> 00:13:26.081 then I do feel like it is, it is me. 00:13:26.351 --> 00:13:30.311 And so, that's what I've been struggling with. 00:13:31.166 --> 00:13:34.036 So when you're like giving advice to other people on this podcast, you're 00:13:34.036 --> 00:13:35.486 giving that advice right to yourself. 00:13:35.916 --> 00:13:36.426 Yes. 00:13:36.596 --> 00:13:37.026 Yeah. 00:13:37.486 --> 00:13:38.546 Sydney, this has been awesome. 00:13:38.556 --> 00:13:42.136 Thank you so much for your time and thanks for being part of resilient schools. 00:13:42.136 --> 00:13:42.476 Yeah. 00:13:42.536 --> 00:13:43.276 It's amazing. 00:13:43.326 --> 00:13:44.806 I feel honored. 00:13:44.926 --> 00:13:51.486 I mean, really, there's so many emotions going on, since I've been here and 00:13:52.466 --> 00:13:53.646 it's been, 00:13:53.756 --> 00:13:55.886 like one of the best experiences of my life. 00:13:55.886 --> 00:13:56.206 So 00:13:56.317 --> 00:13:56.857 thanks for having 00:13:56.996 --> 00:13:57.386 me. 00:13:57.386 --> 00:13:58.166 You're welcome. 00:13:58.166 --> 00:13:58.918 Thank you.