Dad Starting Over

He had the speech written for eight months. Rehearsed it in the truck on the way home. Knew the first line cold.

Sunday night, after their daughter went to bed, he finally said it. I love you, but I'm not spending the next forty years like this, and if nothing changes I'm leaving.

She nodded and said okay, then you should go. And started loading the dishwasher.

He's been in an extended stay off the highway for five days. She's texted him twice, both times about daycare pickup.

Here's what he doesn't understand yet. He didn't make a decision that night. He made an offer. And every offer has a hidden clause, and his was please don't accept these terms. She heard that clause perfectly. So she took him at his word, which is the one thing he asked her to do.

In this one we get into the difference between a threat and a decision, why "okay" was the most honest sentence in that marriage in three years, the walk-back he's about to attempt and why the retraction does more damage than the ultimatum ever did, what an ultimatum is actually for (it was never for her), and the exact thirty days that decide what happens next.

If you've got a speech written and you haven't given it yet, this one's for you more than anybody.

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What is Dad Starting Over?

Welcome to the Dad Starting Over podcast! "Starting Over" means different things to different people. It could be that you're newly divorced and starting over fresh with a new life. It could be that you're still married and wanting to hit the reset button and finally do things right within your marriage. Whatever your story may be, you're in the right place.

I'm Ralph, a.k.a DSO, the author of books including "The Dead Bedroom Fix", "Divorce Panic", "Real Talk" "Red Flags" and "REBUILD: The Complete Guide to Starting Over as a Man". You can learn more about me, my books, one-on-one coaching, and the member-only part of my site called the Brotherhood at https://helpformen.com